Sorry for a double post. But the other was alittle glitchy when editing and refused to move down or scroll down. Ah well. Who cares really.
I'm about to post a few jokes that you could use yourself. I'm picking rivaled teams at random just because you know how you could use them, or even switch them
I hope you enjoy what I found.
A primary teacher starts a new job at a school in West Hampshire and, trying to make a good impression on her first day, explains to her class that she is a Southampton fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Saints fans. Everyone in the class raises their hand expect one little girl.
The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says: 'Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?'
'Because I'm not a Southampton fan', she replied.
The teacher, still shocked, asked: 'Well if you're not a Saints fan, then who are you a fan of?'
'I'm a Portsmouth fan, and proud of it', Mary replied.
The teacher could not believe her ears.
'Mary, why, pray tell, are you a Pompey fan?'
'Because my mum and dad are from Portsmouth, and my mum is a Pompey fan and my dad is a Pompey fan, so I'm a Pompey fan too!'
'Well, 'said the teacher, in a obviously annoyed tone, 'that's no reason for you to be a Portsmouth fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all the time. What if your mum was a prostitute and you dad was a drug dealer and car thief, what what you be then?'
'Then', Mary smiled, 'I'd be a Southampton fan.'
My personal favourite:
A Manchester City van driver used to amuse himself by running over every Manchester United fan he would see strutting down the side of the road in their ubiquitous red and white or green and yellow colours they now wear. He would swerve to hit them, there would be a loud 'thud' and then he would swerve back on the road.
One day, as the driver was driving along, he saw a priest hitchhiking. He thought he would do a good turn and pulled the van over. He asked the Priest, 'Where are you going, Father?' I'm going to say mass at St. Joseph's church, about 2 miles down the road' replied the priest. 'No problem Father! I'll give you a lift! climb in!'
The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and the van continued down the road.
Suddenly the driver saw a United fan walking down the road and instinctively swerved to hit him. But, just in time, he remembered the priest, so at the last minute he swerved back to the road, narrowly missing the United fan. However even though he was certain he missed the United fan, he still heard a loud 'thud'. Not understanding where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors and when he didn't see anything he turned to the priest and said, 'I'm sorry Father, I almost hit that United fan, ' That's okay' replied the priest. 'I got him with the door!'