Ronaldo punished â‚¬20,000 for being big-game flop, Totti taxed â‚¬10,000 for trying to sack coach - 20 more ridiculous Felix Magath fines
Footballers of the world be very fearful, Felix is ready to milk you of your money
By Carlo Garganese | Deputy Editor
On Tuesday, a report emerged in Bild claiming that controversial Wolfsburg coach Felix Magath had imposed a new strict code of conduct for his players on and off the pitch. At the centre of this arrangement was a system of fines for all those found to be non-compliant.
According to the report, those late for training sessions and team meetings would be fined â‚¬100 for every minute they were late, while anyone discovered wearing headphones on the team bus would be punished â‚¬250.
For violations on the pitch, the fines became heavier: an unnecessary back-pass could cost a player â‚¬1,000, while a defender allowing a ball to bounce in front of him rather than clearing directly would be fined â‚¬500.
To celebrate Magathâ€™s screwball scheme, Goal.com has satirically come up with some other hypothetical fines that players could expect to suffer at the hands of the former Germany midfielder.
â‚¬1,000: Backheeling the ball when you could just pass it normally (Javier Pastore)
â‚¬2,000: Leaving a gaping hole open in front of the defence (Alexandre Song)
â‚¬3,000: Leaving your clothes on the pitch (Yoann Gourcuff)
â‚¬4,000: Losing the ball in the stands due to over-ambitious long-shots (Diego Forlan)
â‚¬5,000: Downloading an AC Milan app on your iPad (Mario Balotelli)
â‚¬6,000: Getting caught diving (Dani Alves)
â‚¬7,000: Getting caught having an affair (Ryan Giggs/John Terry/every footballer)
â‚¬8,000: Failing to prevent your girlfriend from removing her belt and whipping a stranger (Ezequiel Lavezzi)
â‚¬9,000: Fooling all of your fans into thinking that you are a messiah, thus making it impossible for the club to sell you (Claudio Marchisio)
â‚¬10,000: Attempting to get your coach or manager sacked (Francesco Totti)
â‚¬11,000: Charging into sliding tackles like a blithering idiot (Michael Dawson/Pepe)
â‚¬12,000: Playing the entire opposition attack onside (Martin Demichelis/Cristian Molinaro)
â‚¬13,000: Running less distance than your own goalkeeper (Dimitar Berbatov)
â‚¬14,000: Having less than a 10% chance-to-goal conversion ratio (Mario Gomez/Gonzalo Higuain)
â‚¬15,000: Lying about your age (Eriberto/Obafemi Martins/Emerson)
â‚¬16,000: Blasting the ball at a spectator in the crowd from point-blank range (Lionel Messi)
â‚¬17,000: Failing to string a sentence together in your leagueâ€™s native language within three years of arriving (Carlos Tevez/David Beckham)
â‚¬18,000: Playing for your country (Ryan Giggs)
â‚¬19,000: Refusing a transfer to another club just so you can be overpaid for doing nothing (Amauri)
â‚¬20,000: Flopping in big games (Cristiano Ronaldo/Zlatan Ibrahimovic)