"I know that there's going to be people who don't understand. I'm sorry... I can't help the way I feel about HER (I Hope you know who HER is). I tried my best to get along with the girl. It's just not meant to be. I don't know if you've seen America's Next Top Model and how cady girls can be on that show... well, welcome to my world with HER. She hated me from the day I I showed up to Louisville. She made sure my life there wasn't great. You WOULD think it was a new person thing, but when new people came around, I was still the one who got her crap. But you know, as she tried to break me.... I just got stronger and tried harder. Our work got us on tv and She hated that I was on tv first.
She hated that I got any attention at all. You know.... I don't consider myself pretty. Not at all. Not like the other girls. And I am cool with that. Like I have said before, looks come and go but the way I am, the way i treat people and the things I accomplish in life... that can never be taken away from me. I can die right now knowing how I touched peoples lives.... I know that I did things on my terms. I never took off my clothes, kissed ass or slept with anyone to get my spot. I worked hard. I'm not perfect but I give the people my all.
Which brings up something else. Do you think I am in wrestling to be on tv? I'm a shy person. I'm not very social. I love living my life surrounding myself with people who love me and care about me. But here I opened a door where people treat me like crap because they are jealous and scared... But you know what? I love wrestling very much. I feel like I'm perfect for it. And I'm just going to get better with time. When I worked as Kyra I had little girls come up to me and they loved me. That really meant the world. I want to be a strong woman that other women look up to... if you notice, heal woman are normally slutty, my character isn't. So I try.
SOME PEOPLE are willing to do anything to be on tv. They would do porn, sleep around, and do absolutely ANYTHING to be there even be very ugly to people.
I could care less about what SHE does but she made it a point everyday to purposely hurt me. To go out of her way to say things. To steal moves that I have and use it on ovw tv knowing that my character can't wrestle but hers can... by spreading rumors about me. By talking behind my back to people.... OMG! I thought I was done with all that in high school! Why would a person go to all that trouble? Wouldn't it be easier to just do your job and be happy with your life? Of course I'm not going to think fondly of her. Not only was she not so cool with me but she treats my best friend the way and she BADLY hurt someone I love repeatedly knowing what she was doing.
I was so happy to go to Smackdown. To not have to deal with the high school drama. I thought her fixation on me would die but she continues to ATTEMPT to dress like me. She would even try say certain phrases I would say. She would try to do my entrance in class everyday. And the weirdest thing is that no one said anything about it.
She went to Smackdown this week and everyone was commenting on how she had her hair like me and was dressing like me. Even had a jacket like mine. She debut with boots that I have. I hate dealing with this. I just want to have fun in wrestling. Some one brought up that if she was supposed to be Trish's crazed fan... why didn't she dress like Trish. I had people backstage saying she was my lunatic fan.
On that subject, If you ever watched OVW and followed it, you would see that she used to wear regular wrestling gear before I got there.Then it all changed when I debut on OVW.
I've always been kinda different. I like to create things and be original. But it's not cool to copy ya know?
You guys, I know she is a decent wrestler. Her knowledge of stuff is more impressive than her ability. She always hated me because I can top her athletically but I just don't have the years of knowledge. I was impressed with her when I first got to Louisville but she got fatter and lazier as time went by. It's a shame. And while the other girls would work hard and bump their asses off she would conveniently go to the bathroom. I worked injured a lot. Jillian did too. It's because it sucks to not be able to wrestle. We couldn't just watch. But SHE would have an "injury" (sometimes similar to mine) but would use it as an excuse to get out of training. I have no respect for that.
When I went to OVW my goal was to get better at wrestling while I was there. I wanted to learn faster. I wanted to have dramatic improvement from when I first got to OVW to when I got to the WWE. I am proud that I did that. As for her.... she didn't improve. She actually got worse. It's sad how she goes through the motions when the art in wrestling is feeling it. And for me She isn't believable. She wrestled great with Jillian because Jillian would cover up al her mistakes and Jillian is strong enough to base her heaviness for moves. She has no hops. But I'm happy for what I accomplished there.
I can't wait to wrestle Especially with Jillian. Bubba Dudley told us our matches were like Trish and Lita. We were believable. I can't wait to have matches with her. It kills me to not wrestle. But I WANT to manage. Why go down in history like every other female wrestler. I want to do it all. And if you think being a manager is easy, it's not. That's why there isn't many out there. I am a part of my guys match. I have to know where everyone is at all times, to be aware of absolutely everything, I'm directing guys to where the cameras are (my extra tid bit) and I have to know the rules. The newer girls just stand there. Which job is easier? It kills me to hear people say I don't do anything or that my job is easy. You have no idea. As a manager I am a part of wrestling and I have learned a lot. YES, I want to wrestle but if managing is a way to be apart of it, I AM SO going to do that. I want to be a part of it anyway shape or form.
Back To ....HER. She is just not cool. But I can understand you want to see people who know how to wrestle on tv... I wish I can hire girls who are cool, are athletic, and are great entertainers but It's not my job. I also understand that you just want to enjoy the show not knowing anything else that would alter your enjoyment of the show. SO, I'm going to save the rest for when I write my book. I hope my book will inspire people to keep going when people hold you back.... that even when people steal your ideas, come up with new ones.... don't let them ever hold you down.
As for her career. Congratulations is all I can say even though I don't care. "