If you'll allow me I'd like to just pour some of my soul into this post. This type of thing helps me work out problems I don't know how to fix and helps me understand myself better. Please excuse my grammatical mistakes.
In high school I was a quiet fat kid who played videogames in his parents basement. I was quiet, never really talked to many people. I was so quiet that I was sent to the guidence counselor too see if I was depressed. Now as a young adult I'm cocky, brash and down right rude to a lot of people. I generally piss people off for no reason other than to make myself happy. I have no idea where this change came from but it has cost me more friends than it has gained.
I don't like it when people get close too me, I've been hurt by doing that. I think the cockiness is just a defense mechanism. A new way to keep people out. I like to get to know other people, see how they tic. Explore there past, look at their scars but I get really creeped out when people try to get too know me. I hate to be analyzed, I have a lot of secrets I'd prefer stay hidden.
I've always regarded my personality as a werewolf. Perfectly normal nerd most of the time but then the transformation. I have an explosive, hard to control temper and a high tolerance for violence. I't is the sole reason I have stopped drinking. I've put holes in walls over something as stupid as a game. I literally have a stack of boxes in the corner of my room to cover up the spot where I threw a machete through a wall. I've also found that I'm a bit of a sadist. A desire to inflict pain, it is a purely sexual feeling. But for some reason when I accidentally do it too someone I didn't want to, I deeply regret it.
That is all for now. Disregard all of that and continue to think of me as an asstool.