Dear Mr. Lambert,
First of all, we would like to express our delight that you have decided to take on the role as manager of Aston Villa FC. We would like to reassure you that you have full control of all of the team affairs.
However, we would like to inform you of a something. When you're predecessor was in charge, he signed Brett Holman
. This deal was completed back in March, so there's sod all we can do about that, I'm afraid. We're sure that he will be an asset to your team, but if you feel otherwise, we hear that he makes a great cup of tea.
But, other than that, the team is all yours.
The Aston Villa FC Board
P.S. Paul Faulkner went to see Massadio Haidara
a few times last season, and he feels that this is a player that you should sign. In fact, we insist upon it. No need for you to do anything. We'll sort out the transfer. You just sit in your office, scratching your arse whilewe do your job for you.
But seriously, everything else team-wise is yours.