*A pyro blast goes off around the stage as the crowd erupt in a huge cheer. The camera then pans across the arena before we hear the voice of Christopher Pentalion*
Christopher Pentalion: WElcome everyone to Monday night Rage, LIVE from Corpus Christi, Texas!! Alongside me as always is EWNCW legend Bodom, and we're looking straight at the final stop here tonight before our next ppv! The ppv when all EWNCW matches get extreme; In Violence We Trust!
Bodom: I can't wait Chris. I can't wait to get my hands on that rat, that little disrespecting SOB Shaz. I can't wait to get him, FACK him in the ass, and make him humble, as my good friend the Iron Sheik would say.
Pentalion: Haha! Good one Bodom! And I hope so too! But although we know that someone's going to be made humble in that match, we don't yet know the stipulation to it, or indeed to most of the Rage matches for the ppv! But tonight, we're going to find out as we have ourselves a beat the clock special edition of Rage where we'll see a series of beat the clock matches, where the winners will get to chose the stipulations to their matches!
*As soon as the theme song of Ronaldo Romulus blares on the PA system, he’s greeted with loud booing and jeering even before he makes his way out from behind the curtain. It opens with a flare as Ronaldo somberly shows his face, disinterest in the crowd’s hate evident in the way he refuses to look out to the spiteful crowd. With the EWNCW World Heavyweight Championship secured between his hand and his left shoulder.*
Pentalion: And here comes a man who knows who he's facing at In Violence WE Trust, and by the end of the night, he'll also know what kind of match he'll be in! Either way, World Heavyweight Champion Ronaldo Romulus will do everything and anything to keep that title when the ppv comes around!
Bodom: You bet your ass he will. And he'll do it in the most sophisticated way possible! He's so well spoken, so regal. We never have and in all likelihood never will get another champion like him!
*Ronaldo walks down the ramp with a microphone in his hand. At the ring, he steps in between the ropes and lays out the championship on the floor. He gets in a kneeling position and clasps his hands together, bending forward and saying words that can’t be made out. After his brief prayer, he stands on his feet, gazing out to the multitude of “deluded serfs”.*
“In Violence We Trust. Just the name of the event tremors my very soul in anguish. I have prayed earnestly to my Father, hoping that he will deliver me from this vexation, begging that the bloody, thorny chalice of discord passes over me. But then, a holy apparition was flaunted before my very eyes. I saw my Lord, my Savior, leaning against a cold rock, drops of blood dripping from his very pores. The band of guards and soldiers, wishing to do him harm, drawing ever closer and His ultimate destiny drawing ever nearer. I heard the hasty and desperate pleading draw forth from his lips, asking for the fate of His death to be rewritten, to be abolished. But then, as the spirit overcame the flesh, he aligned with His father’s will and acquiesced to His father’s wishes.”
*Ronaldo appears to almost be overcome with grief as he cradles his face with his free hand before he lifts up his head and looks back out at the crowd.*
“After reviewing such a celestial image in meditation, I have recognized the parallels between myself and my Savior. Just as he wished to flee from His destiny under the moonlit glow inside the confines of the Garden of Gethsemane, I too longed for departure from my championship match with Jman. Not out of fear of my well-being but because I anticipated that our contest would be under…*shudders* hardcore stipulations. Even if I knew my God wouldn’t allow me to contend under such secular and barbaric principles, I would detest “hardcore wrestling” and dogma for which it defends and conserves. I assumed that the EWNCW would solely accommodate such a detestable and violent sport but alas, my soul was grieved even further when I discovered one company, one name, an alliance of hedonists and reprobates who glorified to heights that would make the most savage, unkempt breed of warriors tremble at the sight of that bloody spectacle. It’s name…was ECW.”
*EC-dub chants begins almost instantly. Ronaldo does not looked pleased with their admiration and attempts to silence them.*
“And of course, the bloodthirsty serfs would chant and acclaim for the mass degradation to unfold before their eyes just as you all do today. But the silver linings in this “extreme” debacle are in no way unappealing. For one, ECW is extinct. The absence of any refinement or culture led to its much worthy demise. How could such an impetuous cult survive with the patriarchs of that aggravating pastime being uncouth barbarians such as the one called Tommy Dreamer? As “The Heart and Soul of ECW”, he was just as responsible for allowing that cesspool of a wrestling federation exist! But his cohorts were no better! Take for instance…ugh, The Sandman. An inhospitable, unsociable, rustic, riotous maniac! And if that wasn’t enough, his practices of “extreme alcoholism” did nothing more than numb your consciences further. And who could forget the aerodynamics of their “cruiserweights”? Daredevils with no scrutiny for any true enlightenment. No, they’d rather beguile in short lasting streaks as they dove precariously from dangerous heights, encouraging the youthful spectators to follow suit. Only one word can accurately denominate ECW and that, my dear serfs, is gaaaaaaaarbaaaaaaage!”
*By this point, the shocked fans have heard enough of Ronaldo and begin to boo even louder at him, drowning out Ronaldo’s shouting back at them. He has to wait until they quiet down before he continues.*
“Defile my standards all you wish but why would anything more than garbage be cadaverous?”
*More booing starts and Ronaldo shakes his head.*
“*sigh* No substantial rebuttal. Why am I not surprised? *rolls eyes*However, since it seems that I cannot sway you to obey the will of God as of now, perhaps now with my aforementioned other silver lining, I can cultivate your minds to appreciate the much more classy and refined methods of mat based grappling for tonight, I am engaged in a contest with my In Violence We Trust opponent, Jman. A “Beat The Clock” challenge where the man to defeat his opponent in the shortest allotted time will grant ownership of the final decision for the match stipulation of our bout. Should I become the ultimate victor, I will, of course, have our match contested under normal stipulations where the true measure of a champion, your world champion, can be gauged in testament to his natural ability. Through my example, you will…”
Jman: *from behind the curtain*…all fall asleep from boredom. Was that what you were gonna say, Ronnie?
*Romulus is furious as his In Violence We Trust opponent walks through the curtain. Jman, mic in hand, wearing an old November to Remember T-shirt, has to wait for the cheers to die down before speaking again.*
Jman: No? Well, that’s a shame, because it’s true. Actually, maybe boring is the wrong word for you. How ‘bout bland? Vanilla? Just like any devout Christian, you’re too wrapped up in saving your soul to have any creative thought in your head.
*J actually gets a good deal of heat for that as he walks down the ramp.*
Jman: Was that out of bounds? Y’know, folks, they said a lot of what we did in ECW was uncouth. And they were right. And, by being right, they proved our point.
*Jman slides into the ring and takes a seat on the top rope before continuing.*
Jman: The goal of hardcore wrestling is to push the envelope. Set tables on fire, introduce guys like Rey Mysterio to an American audience, Throw the NWA title in the garbage, make a mockery of blind people everywhere and don’t care who you offend when you do it.
*J has the crowd back on his side as he leans forward on his perch and begins talking right to Romulus.*
Jman: So you can say ECW is dead, Ronaldo, but, while that’s true in a physical sense, ECW will never die. That company, just like Jesus Christ, continues to have an influence on those who choose to believe in it long after its death. I’m one of those people. I subscribe to the gospel of Pope Heyman the 1st.
*Jman hops off the ropes and takes a few steps toward Ronaldo to a mixed reaction. Comparing ECW to Christianity has turned some people off.*