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  1. #581
    WARFare intro theme: Headstrong by Trapt


    *Ron Burgundy is standing in the middle of the ring, nodding his head to the cheers of the Warfare audience*

    Ron: Oh yeah, that’s what I like to hear! Ladies and Gentlemen, WELCOME TO WARFARE!!! (Huge pop from the audience) We have one hell of a show prepped for you. When I saw the line up for tonight, it quite literally blew my socks off. (pulls up his pants to show that he actually has no socks on) And you all thought I was joking. Tonight, the JBW NWL Champion will be in action, Jman will be in the match he was scheduled to be in last week, The Prophecy and his new friend “Compensate for something joke waiting to happen” Ragnarok has something planned, and we will see champions collide when the Warfare World Champion takes on JBWs first ever Dual Champion (loud pop at the announcements). Tonight, you are in for a treat. So, let’s get it started gentlemen (points at Peter, Quagmire, and Joe before leaving the ring).

    Peter: Thank you Ron. I wish I had a mustache like his. His stache is epic.

    Joe: Remember what happened last time you had a mustache Peter?

    Peter: I don’t know. I think I remember a talking cow somewhere.

    Quagmire: Guys, we have a show to commentate for. We are not here to be talking about old times.

    Peter: Geez Quagmire, what’s wrong with you?

    Quagmire: I’m having to miss out on a date that I was going to have with some twins that I met last night to do this so let’s get to it!

    Joe: Welcome to Warfare ladies and gentlemen. I’m Joe Swanson along side Peter Griffin and Glen Quagmire AND WE HAVE AN AWESOME SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT!!!

    Peter: Yeah, NWL Champion Avidico will put his title on the line against one of The Devils Rejects known as Demonic. We will also see the return of Fernandez Romero who is back after a two week hiatus caused by The Alpha Dog. He will be facing the man he was scheduled to face last week, the South Philly born and raised Jman who looks to continue his quest to prove himself worthy of facing Serra at New Horizons.

    Quagmire: Also we will get in contact with Malcolm Cage via phone to see how he is doing after that vicious attack by The Devils Rejects last week and we will also see a rematch between Tad Locust and Connor Chaos for the match they didn’t get the chance to finish two weeks.

    Joe: And last but certainly not least, our Main Event will be champion vs champion when Warfare World Champion Ryusuke “The Shuriken” Serra takes on Warfare TV Champion and one half of the Warfare Tag Team Champions, HolyJose. WOW WHAT A CARD!!!

    Peter: Hell yeah it is Joe. So let’s gets on to our first….

    They want answers dammit!

    *All of The Devil’s Rejects walk out to the ring lead by TDA, who has an annoyed look on his face*

    Joe: Oh great. Here comes The Devils Rejects and TDA. What do these guys want now?

    Quagmire: I imagine it has something to do with what happened at the end of the show last week involving The Alpha Dog.

    Peter: I freaked out when that happened. I thought I was going blind again when all the lights went out.

    *TDA, Tad Locust, Chainsaw, Samson, and Nightwolf enter the ring while Demonic, RamJam, Ice Cream Man, Silva, and Anomander Rake stand around the outside of the ring. TDA demands a mic and starts to speak in a serious voice*

    TDA: Last week…

    *mixed reactions arise from the fans. Half cheer and the other half boo him as he has a sinister smile on his face. He tries to speak again.*

    TDA: Last week…*pauses for a moment then continues* The Rejects proved why they are the most dominant force JBW has ever seen. They showed why standing against them is a brainless idea at best. Lenny Ray stood against them and he got his ass kicked for it. Malcolm Cage attacked Chainsaw, and now he is in the hospital. (Boos erupt from the fans) HE GOT WHAT WAS COMING TO HIM! He got involved in Reject business and he paid for it.

    *Chainsaw taps on TDA’s shoulder and asks for the mic. TDA reluctantly gives it to him*

    Chainsaw: You pests apparently haven’t got it through your heads yet. The Rejects are here to stay. As long as TDA is GM of Warfare, we will not only be on Mayhem but also right here on Warfare and we have taken over both shows. On our way out here, everybody in the back coward their faces away from us. You want to know why? It’s because they fear us! Warfare has become a beaten dog that has submitted to our rule.

    *Chainsaw laughs as the audience boos. Chainsaw then hands the mic back to TDA*

    TDA: Thanks Chainsaw. (with an annoyed tone to his voice) Speaking of dogs, something happened last week that turned out to be quite the nuisance. If you will direct your attention to the JABETRON, you will see what I’m talking about.

    *The JABETRON starts rolling video from last week*

    Quote Originally Posted by zapphoman View Post
    (Alpha and Jman are shown shaking hands and Alpha lifts up Jmans arm. The fans are on their feet cheering for the two men who just wrestled their hearts out before. Jman heads towards the backstage area. The Alpha Dog hangs out around ring side for a bit shaking hands with the fans and goes over and takes a picture with Quagmire, Joe, and Peter before…)

    (All of the members of The Devils Rejects start walking down the ramp. TDA follows behind them)

    Joe: All of them are coming out.

    Peter: This does not bode well for The Alpha Dog.

    (The Alpha Dog runs into the ring and just stands there while all the Rejects surround it. Realizing there is no way for him to take on all of them, he just stands there, not moving while they all come in. Alpha looks around at all the Rejects and a smile appears on his face. He starts to giggle and a moment later he is in full maniacal laughter. The Rejects are looking around at each other looking for a sign. Alpha is still laughing when Chainsaw yells, “Get him” They all run at him but then suddenly all the lights go out. The entire arena is pitch black until a sudden static sound is heard and the JABEtron lights up and letters start to appear)

    “YOU WILL NOT FORCE US,
    YOU WILL STOP DEGRATING US,
    YOU WILL NOT CONTROL US,
    WE WILL BE VICTORIOUS”

    (The lights come back on and all The Rejects are still in the ring looking up at the screen. A couple of them then realize that The Alpha Dog is gone. Most of the rejects look confused except for Chainsaw and Samson who are staring at TDA with angry looks.)
    Efed stuff...yeah...

    Coming to ???

    Gabriel "The Alpha Dog" Xander

    Luke "Currently In Contract Negotiations" Jameson...hmm...He has some weird nicknames.

  2. #582
    TDA: Now since I know that I didn’t order for that to happen…*Chainsaw and Samson are staring at him again with angry looks* apparently there is another man around here who is able to give orders. The problem with that is everybody else knows about him except, *laughs a little* and this is a good one, THE GM OF WARFARE!! Not one person who works under me has told me about this guy. Not one! And I can’t fire everybody. So whoever you are out there, the one giving orders behind my back, you have until the end of the night to reveal who you are and if you don’t, I will unleash The Devil’s Rejects on every member of the JBW staff, on every wrestler in the back, on our terrible announce team, and hell, maybe I’ll unleash them on some of these fans as well and to prove that we’re serious, (looks over at Silva) go on ahead Silva.

    *One of the cameras turns to see Silva walking right towards it. The cameraman starts walking backwards, but Silva grabs the camera and throws it. The screen goes static before it cuts to another camera. Silva is attacking the cameraman. Punching him and kicking him while he is down. Tremendous heat coming from the audience as a sinister smile appears on TDA’s face.*

    *Commercial Break*



    *Back From Commercial*

    Peter: Welcome back to JBW folks and that’s right, our lives maybe in danger tonight. TDA just made a vicious ultimatum to the guy who was talking to The Nasty Crew last week saying that if he didn’t reveal himself, people were going to get hurt including the fans.

    Joe: Well, I say that guy needs to reveal himself. I’m a pretty badass martial artist as you, Cleveland, and Quagmire know, but I seriously doubt I can take on ten guys, especially since I’M IN A WHEELCHAIR!!!

    Quagmire: This is all your fault Peter! You said, “Hey guys, let’s go commentate for Warfare. It’ll be fun!” Now some psychos are probably going to kill us. I could have been hooking up with twins right now. Thanks a lot dick.

    Peter: Come on guys. We have gotten out of crazier situations than this. Let’s just commentate the matches and see how it goes.

    Manabu vs Snair

    Greggory Samuels: Our first bout is scheduled and introducing first from Sapporo Japan. He stands at five feet and eleven inches tall and weights two hundred and eight pounds… MAAANNNAAAABBBBUUUU!!!!

    Quagmire: Hey Peter, it’s the guy with the name you like so much.

    Peter: Still love saying that name. I love saying it so much that I now say it when I hit the sweet spot while having sex with Louis.

    Quagmire: Lucky bastard!

    Peter: What was that Quagmire?

    Quagmire: Oh nothing, Peter. This guy and Snair have really been going at it the past couple of weeks. First it was a Parking Lot Brawl two weeks ago that Manabu won. Then it was the Submission Match last week that Snair won. Now they are going to go at it in a singles match. Wow, these guys have a point to be made.

    *Manabu gets in the ring and waits for his opponent*

    GS: And his opponent from Mumbai India stands at six foot two and weights two hundred and fourty pounds…SSSSNAAAAIIIRRR!!!

    Joe: The former Warfare World Champion was able to gain a victory over Manabu last week in the Submission Match. Let’s see how he can fair this week.



    Quagmire: Manabu wins it with a inside cradle and Snair is shocked.

    Peter: Well, Snair thought he had the momentum going into this one with his win last week but Manabu pulls out a last ditch effort and he is victorious because of it. Manabuuuu!

    Joe: Calm down Peter. I just received word that something is going on backstage.

    *Anomander Rake and Demonic are shown walking through the hallways, opening doors, looking for something.*

    Anomander: Where in the hell did he go?

    Demonic: He is probably looking for Katie. You know his infatuation with her.

    Anomander: But she isn’t even here. He knows that.

    Demonic: *Opens a door* Then maybe he’s looking for his mom. Who knows what’s going on in that mind of his. All I know is if we don’t find him father is going to be angry with us.

    Anomander: He was right there with the rest of us one moment, then he just….

    Demonic: SHIT!!! LOOK ANOMANDER!!!


    *Anomander looks to where Demonic is pointing. It’s Silva in a room taped to a chair and he looks like he has been put through quite a beating. There is also a piece of paper attached to his chest*

    Silva: *On the verge of crying* I screamed for mother but she never came. They just kept on hitting me.

    Anomander: Who did this to you?

    Silva: I couldn’t….I couldn’t see their faces. They were all in black and black masks.

    Demonic: They? How many were there?

    Silva: Two I think.


    *Anomander takes the note that was taped to Silvas chest and reads it. His face becomes furious and he throws it behind him.*

    Anomander: Come on! Let’s get you out of here Silva. We need to go talk to father now.

    *Anomander and Demonic work to get Silva untapped from the chair. While they do this, the cameraman kneels down to see what the note says. Only five words…,”YOU WILL NOT FORCE US”*

    *Commercial Break*

    Efed stuff...yeah...

    Coming to ???

    Gabriel "The Alpha Dog" Xander

    Luke "Currently In Contract Negotiations" Jameson...hmm...He has some weird nicknames.

  3. #583
    *Back from commercial*

    Avidico has come home!

    Peter: Well, who is this? Oh it’s Avidico!

    *Avidico makes his way to the ring with new theme music and a massive pop, carrying his NWL title proudly on his sholder. Avidico jumps into the ring and poses to the crowd on the top rope. He then asks for a mic*

    Joe: He was a Warfare original until he won the NWL Championship. Now he can defend the title on any show. It’s great to see him back on Warfare.

    Quagmire: Let’s see what he has to say!

    Avidico: Its Great to be back here on warfare
    (crowd cheers)
    do you like the new theme?
    (crowd cheers again)
    Are You enjoying the show?
    (crowd cheers... Yet Again)
    You guys are just going to cheer at anything, right?
    (Crowd cheers... Again)
    Banana?
    ( massive cheers for banana!?)
    **avidico lowers the mic shaking his head***
    Avidico: aaannnyyyyway, tonight i have a match.
    against my good friend steve austin
    You know the one that beat " the Great Holyjose" the other week
    and i gotta idea
    how about i let a fan escort me to the ring tonight
    So who wants to escort me to the ring
    (Crowd goes silent)
    Anyone???
    (still silence)
    Banana!?
    (MASSIVE cheers for banana)
    **Avidico rolls his eyes**
    Avidico: oh well ive already picked someone

    Paper Wings!

    *as Paperwings plays around the arena
    a little boy comes out with a bald head*
    Avidico: This is billy
    Billy is from florida
    he is a perky 8 yo with a massive problem
    he has a tumour on his brain
    When i was visiting in the cancer ward of the local florida hospital
    i met my biggest fan ever in billy
    so i invited him to escort me to the ring tonight when I face Steve Austin.
    ** Avidico Picks up his NWL title and gives it to billy to hold for him as they walk to the back to the sounds of Homecoming

    *Ron Burgundy appears on the JABETRON, standing backstage*

    Ron: Avidico plus cancer kid equals awwww moment. Awesome stuff Avidico and there is nothing wrong with cheering for bananas. Just as long as nobody starts singing that crappy Gwen Stefani song, we will all be fine. Now on to the next match.

    Two of a Kind vs Demonic and Anomander Rake

    Greggory Samuels: This Tag Team match is scheduled for one fall and introducing first at a combined weight of four hundred and ninety five pounds… Anomander Rake and Deeemmonniccc!!!

    Quagmire: Well these two Rejects found quite the surprise backstage.

    Peter: They sure did Quagmire. I wonder who it was that did that to Silva.

    Joe: It was obviously someone wanting to send a message to The Devil’s Rejects. We will find out later if it succeeded.

    Greggory Samuels: And their opponents…at a combined weight of five hundred and ten pounds… TWOO OF A KKKINNNDDD!!!

    Joe: Two of a Kind has become one of my favorite tag teams here on Warfare. They have been impressive in every match they have been in.

    Peter: Two of a Kind enters the ring and this one is underway!!


    (ignore past 7:55)

    Joe: Two of a Kind get the victory after The Nasty Crew got involved and cost Demonic and Anomander Rake the match.

    Peter: Well, good for them. After that four on two beat down last week, some retribution was definitely coming for The Rejects.

    Quagmire: You may not want to give them the victory yet Peter. Look!

    (The Nasty Crew are standing at the top of the stage taunting Anomander Rake and Demonic before The Ice Cream Man and RamJam run out and hit them from behind. They grab The Nasty Crew, bring them down to the ring, and throw them in. Anomander and Ice Cream are attacking Nick Riot while Demonic and RamJam are beating on Bill Bastion before…)

    Peter: Oh my god, I’m blind again.

    Joe: Peter, don’t worry about it. The lights just went out!

    Quagmire: Again with this crap. JBW really needs to do a better job of picking…(the lights come back on) Oh well that’s...

    Joe: LOOK IN THE RING GUYS!!!

    *The Rejects have stopped attacking The Nasty Crew and they realize that there are two more men now standing in the ring. They are dressed all in black and their faces are concealed by black ski masks. The two men in black run at the four Rejects and instantly start the attack. Bill and Nick also join in the fight. The audience are cheering the four men on as they battle with the Rejects. The Rejects are overwhelmed by the surprise attack, get cleared out of the ring, and run towards backstage. While The Nasty Crew celebrate, the two men in black get out of the ring, jump over the barricades, and get lost within the fans.*

    Peter: Well it looks like The Rejects don’t like fair fights.

    Joe: That was awesome! They just gave the Rejects what they had coming!

    Quagmire: Whoever those two were, it looks they have gotten tired of the gang beat downs The Rejects have been given out as of late and who can blame them but we have to go to a commercial now.

    (Awesome Commercial)
    Efed stuff...yeah...

    Coming to ???

    Gabriel "The Alpha Dog" Xander

    Luke "Currently In Contract Negotiations" Jameson...hmm...He has some weird nicknames.

  4. #584
    *Back from Commercial*

    Joe: It's been another fast start for Warfare, as the crowd is sizzling at the moment. The best thing about JBW is the unpredictable nature of the shows...

    A Man of Honor

    Joe: Oh look who it is. It’s the “God” Zeus Apollo.
    Quagmire: What crawled up your ass Peter?

    Peter: This guy is always talking about being a God but my Catholic uprising told me different.

    Joe: Peter why don’t you just give him a chance to talk please.

    *The slow start, and familiar dark tune was the calling of Zeus Apollo... The crowd was excited for Zeus as he was becoming more and more popular with them as time went on. He slowly walked out on stage dressed in a dark pair of jeans, but no shirt. He was now letting his hair grow out, trying to emulate Chris Hemsworth's version of Thor, though still had a ways to go. He got into the ring, and took a microphone. He stood there letting his song play through, while drawing praise from the loyal fans in the front few rows.... The song finishes out and Zeus raises up the microphone to speak.*

    Zeus: "Come to find out, The Prophecy is not here tonight... He's made his way to a Hollywood set where he plans to stage a fake Mount Olympus, and ruthlessly invade. You have fun with that, while I'll stand here and be serious. For weeks now, I've been having to answer questions like: "Why did I all of sudden become a good guy?"... The truth is, things were just getting boring. There was no point in trying to portray myself as an insane God who thought of taking over a show. That's not who I am, it was what was wanted of me. I wanted to be a fighter, a warrior of the God's, and unstoppable force that the fans could get behind. People are supposed to love the God's, not hate them, and with me you get the best of all God's combined: Odin, Zeus, and Thor!"

    *The cheers draw loud from the audience, as Zeus has to divert his attention for a moment. He focuses back on the microphone.*

    Zeus: "I kind of got tired of doing these long promos every week, but I did feel the need to come out tonight and rightfully explain everything to you all... Here in JBW, actions speak louder than words, yet we have some who like to do more talking than they do walking. I've never been one to talk too much. You've all seen first hand how much I enjoy violence and getting physical. I have no problem choking out someone who has a problem with me... The Prophecy is next in that line, and if I have to beat the living hell out an ugly 7-foot giant to get to him, then you better believe I'm going to do that. My mind is on the Warfare Championship, and this Prophecy is not going keep me from fulfilling my own. Let it be known, that Zeus Apollo is coming for the Gold, and nothing WILL KEEP ME FROM IT!"

    *Zeus drops the microphone as he leaves the ring to the sound of his music playing again. The camera then switches to outside where Leonard Ray Beauregard pulls up to the arena in an '02 Dodge Neon and doesn't look to happy as he steps out of the car. He goes around and gets his gear which is in a Team Realtree backpack and pulls a can of dip out of his back pocket. Before he is able to put a pinch in Todd Stevenson runs up for an interview.*

    Todd: Mr. Beauregard can I ask...

    LRB: Dammit boy, for the last time Mr. Beauregard is my daddy, just call me Lenny Ray. *puts the dip in his mouth and works it into his lip* Now, what can I do you for?

    Todd: *glances at the Neon*

    LRB: I knew it, I knew I was gonna get some lip. Listen the Redneck Express is in the shop, I'm having a snorkle put on it for takin' it into deeper mud an' water, if'n that's alright with you.

    Todd: Yes sir, it's just kinda strange seeing you without the truck. Hopefully it gets back soon and the world will be a lot less confusing. Mr. Beau....Lenny Ray, tonight you have a match with Silva, can we get your thoughts on that?

    LRB: Well, last week I told y'all I was gonna have some fun with the snake known as The Devil's Rejects. Last week I started with the tail by beating Demonic. This week I'm working my way further up the tail and to the asshole with Silva. *spits on the ground* Just like last week I'm gonna whoop a Reject's yeller ass and send him home rethinkin' why he even got into this game. Hell I might do him a favor and whip his ass so bad he leaves the business and becomes the top used car dealer in Omaha. I really don't give a damn. When this little war that they started with Lenny Ray is all said and done I'm gonna have The Devil's Advocate taken out like a 12 point buck.

    Todd: Leonard, tonight it seems that someone is out to get the Rejects. They have gotten jumped by some masked man in the shadows, do you know anything about that?

    LRB: Hell them stupid sumbitches done made alot of fuckin' enemies. They whipped my ass, they send Malcolm to the hospital last week which ain't no easy job , trust me I tried. They been fuckin' with everybody and if someone is fuckin' with them back then that's just par for the course I guess. They shouldn't have written a check their their ass can't cash but I tell you what. They tried for over 2 weeks to take ol' Lenny Ray out but it's like Bocephus himself said "a country boy can survive" right Todd?

    Todd: I suppose so Leonard.

    LRB: God dammit boy you need to lighten up. *sets his backpack down and pulls out a can of Natural Light* *pops the top and hands the can to Todd* here, it's already opened so don't you go wastin' it. If you waste a beer I waste your ass.


    Leonard walks into the arena to get ready for his match.

    Sasha vs Ayako Match Three of the Best of Five

    Sasha is already in the ring with a mic in her hand.
    Quagmire: Giggity Giggity Goo! Let’s hear what my favorite female wrestler has to say. *Starts whistling*

    Sasha: *With a big smile on her face* Thank you Quagmire! *Giggity* Ayako, I don’t see why you want to continue this best of five series. I have two victories over you now. Tonight, will make number three and it will be all over for you. So, this is what I am going to do for you Ayako since I am such a kind, wonderful, and beautiful person, unlike you. I am going to have the ref ring the bell to start the match and he is going to count to ten. All you have to do is not come out to the ring. You won’t have to take the punishment that I would give you and you’ll be a part of the best match you’ve had since you’ve come to JBW, a match that doesn’t require you trying to look like anything different than what you already are…*pauses and smiles wide* a failure. Go on ahead ref.

    Quagmire: Awwww that is so nice of her.

    Joe: Are you kidding me?

    Peter: Well, the numbers don’t lie Joe. Sasha does hold two impressive victories over Ayako. Maybe it would be better for Ayako if she just gave up.

    *The ref calls for the bell and starts the count. While the ref is counting, Sasha is standing in the middle of the ring, trying to act all cute and innocent. The ref gets to five before…*

    Gotta give her credit...she has heart!

    *An angry look comes over Sashas face as Ayako walks towards the ring with a mic in her hand.*

    Joe: Good for her. If she has to go down, at least she will go down swinging and not like a coward.

    *Ayako gets in the ring and starts to speak with a determined look in her eyes*

    Ayako: Did you really think I’m intimidated by you Sasha? Did you really think I was going to just cut and run? Let me tell you something Sasha, you may have two victories over me but I will not back down from you.*The crowd pops* I will win this best of five series and prove who the better of the two of us is.

    *Ayako throws the mic and the match starts*


    (Ignore past 5:20)

    Joe: AND AYAKO GETS HER FIRST VICTORY ON WARFARE! WHAT AN ACHIEVEMENT!

    Quagmire: Oh yeah. Well, we’ll just see what happens next week. Ayako got lucky is all.

    Peter: Oh come on Quagmire. That was a good victory for her. We have a to go to commercial but don’t go anywhere because Fernandez Romero will take on Jman in our first main event of the night.

    * A video appears on the screen showing huge pearly gates atop a mountain. There we see The Prophecy dressed in a black robe with Ragnarok by his side.*

    "Ladies and gentlemen, and deitis of all ages, it is I The Prophecy and unfortunately I will not be able to make WARFare in person. For you see this week Ragnarok and I are on a spiritual journey, a journey that has forced us to travel a great distance, but afterwards there will be a great reward."

    The Prophecy clicks his fingers and Ragnarok tears the gates down.

    "Welcome my Jabesters to Mt Olympus..."

    The camera pans back to show Mt Olympus in all its glory.

    "You see for the past several weeks Mt Olympus' favourite wrestler, Zeus Apollo, has been getting the better of me...but that all stops from here on in. You see I intend to harness whatever power this home of the Gods has, and use it to defeat Zeus and make him utter those words "I Quit". So lets go in shall we." [/I]

    *The duo make their way into Mt Olympus.*

    Efed stuff...yeah...

    Coming to ???

    Gabriel "The Alpha Dog" Xander

    Luke "Currently In Contract Negotiations" Jameson...hmm...He has some weird nicknames.

  5. #585
    (Back from Commercial)

    Fernandez Romero vs Jman

    Greggory Samuels: This next bout is scheduled for one fall and introducing first from Philadelphia, Pennsilvania, weighing in at twooo huundred and twenty five pounds, standing six foot three inches- the number one contender to the WARFare World Heavyweight Championship.. Ladies and Gentlemen I give you.. JMaaaaaann!!!

    Joe: Welcome back to Warfare ladies and gentlemen and after the major victory he had in the main event last week against The Alpha Dog, JMann definitely has the momentum on his side in this match.

    Quagmire: Well, he wants to prove to himself and to everybody else that he is worthy of that Warfare World Championship that is currently in the possession of Ryusuke. Defeating The Alpha Dog last week was definitely a big step in the right direction.

    *Jman, in an Alpha Dog t-shirt, comes down to the ring to a huge pop, gets in the ring, sits on the top rope, and grabs a mic from a stagehand*

    Jman: Y’know Shuri’ and I might be fighting for the big prize but this is still The Alpha Dog’s yard. *big pop* You took me to my limits big man, thanks for that. *bigger pop* Shuri, I sincerely hope you watched that match last week and I hope it made you realize that I don’t need you, or anybody else for that matter, to protect me. *huge pop*

    I could sit my ass here all night and talk about the match with Alp’ and the impending match with Serra but that, ladies and gentlemen, would make for shitty television. *crowd laugh and pop* In fact, that match against Fernandez Romero that I was convinced was happening on last week’s show is actually going down in a few minutes. Before that though, I have one more message for Serra. *Jman hops off the top turnbuckle with ease, walks to the center of the ring, and looks straight into the camera*

    I don’t know if you were paying attention Shuri’, but earlier in the week they announced the location of New Horizons….Citizens Bank Park. More specifically, Citizens Bank Park in the heart of South Philadelphia. You better be ready champ. *Crowd pops as Jman gets ready for his opponent*


    Greggory Samuels: AND HIS OPPONENT BEING ACCOMPANIED TO THE RING BY TRACY TURNER, WEIGHING IN AT TWO HUNDRED AND FORTY EIGHT POUNDS AND STANDING SIX FEET TWO INCHES TALLFEEERRRRNANDEZZZZZ RRRROMEROOOOOO!

    Peter: He’s been out for three weeks and he looks happy to be back. Dancing like the silly Ricky Martin wannabe that he is.

    Quagmire: I think he’s happy because he probably did some making up with Tracy during his break. Their relationship was pretty bad the last time we saw them.

    Joe: Well, let’s find out. He has a mic in his hand after all.

    *Fernandez gets on the apron, pulls down and pushes up the ropes to allow Tracy in, and gets in himself. He then starts to speak*

    Fernandez: Hello JBW Universe. It is great to be back. I will be getting to you in a moment Jman. Now you all saw what The Alpha Mutt did to me three weeks ago. He brutally attacked me for no reason at all. He put me through a table for crying out loud, but it’s ok. I actually forgive him because if it wasn’t for what he did, *looks over at Tracy* I wouldn’t of had the time to reconnect with my beautiful flower. *Tracy is shown blushing* Now our relationship is stronger than ever. So thank you Alpha Dog. Now on to you Jman. *Jman is shown pointing to himself before Fernandez continues* While recovering from my injury, I started to re-evaluate my performance in this ring. I have learned that I need to be more aggressive and how you say, more cunning. So, Jman you’re lucky that you didn’t have to face me last week, because your little journey to prove yourself would’ve ended before it began. You’re not so lucky tonight though because you will be the first victim of the new and improved *tilts his head and yells in the mic* FERNANDEZ ROME…

    *Jman hits Fernandez with “Good Match Lets Go Eat” before Fernandez could finish saying his name and the audience gives out a loud pop. Tracy is checking on Fernandez as Jman grabs the mic…*

    Jman: Blah blah blah blah blah! Can we get me a real challenge out her please?

    *Someone then appears on the JABETRON. It’s the guy TDA is looking for.*

    ???: Let’s see…(flipping through some papers) got it! This guy doesn’t have a match tonight, but…well let’s just say, if you’re looking for a challenge my friend, they don’t get much bigger than this…

    Oh boy. Poor Jman

    Peter: Oh great it’s Zeus Apollo again.

    Joe: That guy wasn’t lying when he said Jman was in for a challenge tonight. Zeus is a menacing force that will take Jman to his limit as much if not more than The Alpha Dog did.

    Quagmire: Jman certainly has his work cut out for him. Let’s see how this goes for him.

    *Zeus gets into the ring, the ref calls for the bell, and the match is underway.*




    Joe: What a grueling match this has been for both Zeus and Jman, but it’s looking dire for Jman right now as Zeus has the Triangle Chokehold on him. Nobody lasts long when this hold is applied.

    *Zeus continues to add pressure to the Triangle Chokehold as Jman is struggling to get out of it. Jman struggles start to diminish before he just fades out. The ref comes over, grabs Jmans arm, and lifts it up. The arm falls an inch above the mat before Jman lifts his arm up holding a fist. The audience erupts as Jman is shaking his fist to get the audience behind him. Jman then turns to get on his knees, pushes up on Zeus’ legs to pin Zeus, the ref starts the count 1…2… The kickout forces Zeus to release the hold. Both men stand up and Zeus kicks Jman in the midsection. Zeus then irish whips Jman into a turnbuckle, runs at Jman at full speed, goes for a shoulder tackle, and Jman uses the ropes to jump out of the way right before Zeus gets to him and Zeus goes shoulder first into the turnbuckle...*

    Peter: Ouch that had to hurt. Sunset flip from Jman into the pin. 1…2…3! And Jman wins it.

    Quagmire: Wow what a match from these two great athletes. They deserve all the recognition they are getting right now. The audience is going bat shit!

    *Zeus is shown frustrated before Jman extends a hand. Zeus shakes his hand. Jman heads to the back as the audience is still cheering for the match that just took place. Zeus remains out in the ring as the JABETRON lights up. We see on the screen The Prophecy looking smug as we hear hammering in the background. The camera pans back to see the sign "Under New Management" being nailed to the gates of Mt Olympus.*

    "You see Zeus Apollo once told me, that Mt Olympus is not open for those mere mortals. That is why i enlisted the help of this creature before me, The End Of Days: Ragnarok"

    The Prophecy then walks back into Mt Olympus and into its main are, which features an air hockey table, being played by half naked women, and a bit further back is a bar, with a half naked woman serving.

    "No wonder Zeus likes it here so much, but you see this place now belongs to me. Soon I will have put up all my great posters featuring yours truely. I have a shelf over there for my JBW action figures, and I may even open this place for the public to come have a look around...for a price of course."

    The Prophecy takes a seat on a long leather couch with a glass of wine.

    "You see Zeus, you may think of yourself as a God, but I am a God. I have the looks, the money, the women and now I even have Mt Olympus. Don't worry though, I will be back next week, and so will Ragnarok. Maybe Zeus, if you have the balls, you will face him one on one."

    The camera shows Ragnarok, who picks up a giant sledgehammer with one hand.

    "You remember that sledgehammer Zeus, Mjolnir, it seems so long ago. If you do decide to face my Ragnarok next week, here is what you have in store".

    *Ragnarok swings the sledgehammer, beheading a marble statue with ease.*

    "See you next week Zeus".

    *The camera shows the outside of Mt Olympus, wtih a sign now saying Mt Prophecy and the JABETRON turns off. The camera switches to the ring where it shows Zeus Apollo with a determined look. The camera then switches to backstage where Ron Burgundy is standing by.*

    Ron: Well, Zeus surely has quite the challenge waiting for him next week. Ragnarok would put Shao Khan to shame and that man could rip someone in half with his bare hands. We have to go to a commercial now so JBW can pay these crazy lunatics but after that it will be Avidico taking on Steve Austin, so don’t go anywhere.

    Efed stuff...yeah...

    Coming to ???

    Gabriel "The Alpha Dog" Xander

    Luke "Currently In Contract Negotiations" Jameson...hmm...He has some weird nicknames.

  6. #586
    *Back from commercial TDA is shown standing in his office. Chainsaw, Samson, and Nightwolf open the door forcefully. Chainsaw gets right in the face of TDA.*

    Chainsaw: Did you see what happened out there?

    TDA: Yes, I did. The guy just altered another one of my matches.

    Samson: And you’re deciding the best course of action is to just stand here and let him do it.

    TDA: The guy is unpredictable and I have no idea where he is.

    Chainsaw: Also, these men in black and masks…they ganged up on Silva and attacked four of our family without cause. We need to do something now.

    TDA: Yes we need to go find two guys…TWO GUYS before they take out all ten of your family. Are you serious Chainsaw?

    Chainsaw: THEY ARE RISING AGAINST US TDA! YOU MIGHT BE BLIND TO IT BUT I AM NOT. GIVE US THE OK TO TAKE OUT THIS ENTIRE LOCKER ROOM!

    TDA: No

    Chainsaw: What did you say to me, boy?

    TDA: I said no. This guy won’t allow anything to happen to the fans, to the wrestlers, or to the staff here. He will reveal himself later tonight. I know he will and when he does, we force *the sound of the door opening slowly* him to tell us who is *the sound of metal clinking on the ground* involved in this…*the door closes*

    Nightwolf: Guys, did you hear that?


    *The room starts to fill with smoke until nothing can be seen but white. The sounds of coughing can be heard*

    Samson: OPEN THE DOOR!!!

    *The door opens but the camera can’t see who it is. For a few moments the sound of spray paint can be heard spraying and then a chair shot. The camera switches to right outside the door that has smoke pouring out of it. Two men in all black wearing gas masks come running out, one of them is holding a chair and the other is holding a can of spray paint. They take off the gas masks but their identity is still obscured by the black ski masks they are wearing. They drop the gas masks, the chair, and the spray in front of the door and run for it. A few moments pass before Chainsaw, Nightwolf, and TDA come out coughing their lungs out. They look down to see the items on the floor…*

    Chainsaw: *Coughs a few times and picks up the gas mask while looking at TDA* Yeah, how much trouble can they be?

    Nightwolf: Where’s Samson?

    *They look at each other before looking at the door way. The smoke is mostly cleared out before they run back in. The camera follows to find Samson laid out on the floor.*

    Chainsaw: SON OF A BITCH!

    TDA: Chainsaw…

    Chainsaw: WHAT?!!


    *Chainsaw looks at TDA and then looks at what TDA is looking at. On the wall, in spray paint, the words are written…”YOU WILL STOP DEGRADING US” The camera then cuts back to the ring where Greggory Samuels is standing by*

    Avidico vs Steve Austin

    Greggory Samuels: This next bout is scheduled for one fall and introducing first from New Mexico. He stands at five foot five and weighs one hundred and forty one pounds. He is being accompanied to the ring tonight by Billy and he is JBWs No Weight Limit Champion…AVIDIIICCOOOO!!!!

    *Steve Austin is already in the ring*

    Peter: Avidico is so exciting to watch and the fans here in the arena tonight are in for a treat.

    Joe: Avidico is in the ring and the match is underway.



    Quagmire: Awesome win for “The Burning Star” Avidico. He wiped the floor with Austin.

    Joe: And Billy and Avidico are celebrating in the ring. What a great moment for this young boy, but I understand that Kelly is backstage with Tad Locust. Kelly…

    *The camera cuts to backstage where Kelly Chambers is standing by.*

    Kelly Chamber: Ladies and Gentleman joining me now is Tad Locust.

    (Tad Locust is shown agressively pulling his hair with a demented smile on his face)

    Chambers: Tad, tonight you will be facing Connor Chaos in a rematch from three weeks ago. What are your thoughts going in to this match?

    Tad Locust: Tonight Im going to do what I should have done three weeks ago. Im going to defeat Connor Chaos and write him off the list of threats and enemies we've made in JBW. Im going to prove why I was a success before I joined the rejects and that can stand on my own two feet and win matches with no help from my teamates.

    Chambers: Ok, What are your thoughts on the mystery men who are seemingly targeting you and the rest of the rejects?

    Outside voice: Todd!

    Locust: What are my thoughts? My thoughts are that These guys are no*Todd!* different from the inferior scum that have been unsuccessfully trying to get rid of us ever since we debuted.If there man enough and gutsy*Todd!* enough to face us in the ring then we'll be glad deal with them. But considering there to cowardly to even show there own faces,I don't think thats going to happen anytime soon.
    (The Alpha Dog then appears in frame)

    Alpha: Hey, have either of you seen Todd Steven…(notices Tad Locust) Ahhh hello Tad. How are you and your Reject friends doing? The Alpha Dog has heard that The Rejects have run into a bit of trouble.

    Tad: *smiles and laughs a second* Nothing we can’t handle. If they weren’t acting like such…cowards, The Devils Rejects would annihilate them before this charade that they are pulling can go any further. *Starts to walk away* You have better watch yourself dog.

    Alpha: You’re the one who needs to get your mind right. The Alpha Dog also heard that Connor is bringing some added insurance for you twos match later, just in case. *looks over and notices Kelly* Why…hello Kelly. Enjoying the job?

    Kelly: Oh it’s been great. All these different personalities have been really enlightening.

    Alpha: Wait a minute. The Alpha Dog recognizes you from somewhere.

    Kelly: I don’t know what you could possibly mean.

    Alpha: The Alpha Dog knows a face when he sees one. Were you…ever an assistant for a space commander?

    Kelly: Oh, Shep…I mean Gabriel, you’re crazy. There were actually a few questions I would like to ask…

    Alpha: Wait, The Alpha Dog knows where this is going so let him just answer those questions for you right now. You don’t have to pay up front, The Alpha Dog doesn’t accept credit cards, and if you want to tell The Alpha Dog you love him afterwards it will cost a bit…

    Kelly: What?!

    Alpha: Oh you’re not asking about that? That’s weird, that is usually what all the ladies ask about. Well then, shoot!

    Kelly: Last week, you had a match with Jman that you kind of fell short in. What are your thoughts on that?

    Alpha: Look, The Alpha Dog doesn’t feel bad about that match. The Alpha Dog gave it all he had and so did Jman and he came out the victor. Congratulations Jman, great match, but don’t expect it to happen again.

    Kelly: HolyJose has turned a major one eighty from what you thought you knew of him and everybody has been wondering, including myself due to my time as a psychiatrist, what does The Alpha…

    Alpha: First off, The Alpha Dog doesn’t want to talk about HolyJose. The Alpha Dog doesn’t want to spend valuable time talking about a man as selfish as HolyJose. And second, you’re a psychiatrist?

    Kelly: Yeah, got my license and everything.

    Alpha: The Alpha Dog needs a new psychiatrist. Since Horrorcore, it’s been kind of hard to find one. Anyway, next question.

    Kelly: Well, I imagine you have heard of the attacks that have been happening to The Rejects. Do you know anything about it?

    Alpha: Nope, can’t say he does. The way The Alpha Dog is looking at it, this is kharma biting them in the ass. It was bound to happen. Now The Alpha Dog has to go do something, but after the show The Alpha Dog is free if you would like a demo of what The Alpha Dog has to offer.

    *Kelly smiles and laughs as she pushes Alpha out of frame*

    Alpha: Hey!

    Kelly: Well, that was The Alpha Dog. Back to you guys.


    *The camera switches back to ringside*

    Peter: Thank you Kelly and if The Alpha Dog bothers you like that again, just roll up a newspaper and swat him on the nose a couple of times. It works on Brian.

    Joe: Okay guys. We have special call right now and we have Malcolm Cage on the line.

    Quagmire: That’s right Joe. Now Malcolm was attacked last week and was immediately taken to the hospital.

    Peter: Yea looks like Malcolm Cage won’t be here tonight but he is with us live right now on the phone.

    Malcolm Cage: What’s up guys? Hope everything on Warfare is pleasant

    Peter: Malcolm, you were attacked last week by The Devil’s Rejects. What kind of injuries did the doctors say that you have.

    MC: Yeah. They said that I received a lot of punishment to my neck. It’s not broke but harshly injured. And I hope that I will be back next week.

    Joe: Malcolm, there have been several attacks tonight on the members of The Devil's Rejects. Do you know anything about these attacks or know who could possibly be behind it?

    MC: I have no idea what you are talking about, but it’s about time someone got back at those cowards.

    Peter: Now you have a match at New Horizons against HolyJose for his Warfare TV Title. Do you think you will be in condition for that match?

    MC: The doctors are confident that I will be battle ready by next week and I have a few words planned for him next week as well.

    Quagmire: We have to go Malcolm, but do you have any final words?
    Efed stuff...yeah...

    Coming to ???

    Gabriel "The Alpha Dog" Xander

    Luke "Currently In Contract Negotiations" Jameson...hmm...He has some weird nicknames.

  7. #587
    MC: I just hope to get back there next week and take care of business on Warfare. And I would like to applaud whoever it is taking out The Devil's Rejects. Those guys are eventually going to attack the wrong person, and when that happens there will be no Resistance. *Hangs up*

    Peter: Well there you have it guys. Words from Malcolm Cage himself and he has a bone to pick with HolyJose and The Devil's Rejects.

    Lenny Ray Beauregard vs Silva

    Greggory Samuels: This next singles bout is scheduled for one fall and introducing first representing The Devils Rejects. Standing at five foot ten and weighing two hundred and twenty five pounds…SILLLLVVVAAA!!!

    Peter: Silva got quite the beating earlier. Do you guys think that it had something to do with those guys that have been running around and causing trouble for The Rejects?

    Joe: Of course it is Peter. Who else would it have been? Anybody would have been to afraid of possible repercussions from The Devil’s Rejects. These guys had a plan and they obviously have a beef with The Rejects. What I’m wondering is who these guys are?

    Quagmire: Well, it’s not The Nasty Crew because we saw them in the ring with the two mystery men at the same time. It isn’t Lenny Ray because they struck before he got here. It can’t be Malcolm Cage because he’s still recovering from the vicious beating he received by The Rejects. Who does that possibly leave? HolyJose? Dubs? The Alpha Dog? There’s more who has suffered from The Rejects. Hell, it can be someone from Mayhem.

    Peter: Hopefully we’ll find out later Quagmire but for now we have a match to commentate.

    Greggory Samuels: And his opponent. He stands six foot three and weighs two hundred and fifty pounds. He is the Redneck Wresslin Machine…LLLLEEENNNYYY RRRRAAYYY BEEEAURAGARRRDDD!!!

    *Huge pop for the Redneck Wrasslin Machine as he comes out drinking a beer.*

    Peter: This guy right here, one of my favorites. He doesn’t take shit from anybody and if they try to give it to him, he just kicks their ass. I wonder if there’s a fist under his beard.

    Joe: Lenny has been going on quite the crusade to take out The Rejects. Why? Because they pissed him off.

    Quagmire: Lenny Ray is in the ring and the ref rings the bell to start the match.



    Quagmire: And Lenny dominates that match, winning with a submission. Lenny Ray had that match in the bag.

    Peter: And it doesn’t look like he’s finished yet.

    *Lenny Ray picks up Silva and delivers the Dixie Drop on Silva. He stares down at Silva who is out cold.*

    Peter: Wait a minute, none of the Rejects are coming out to help Silva?

    Joe: I think they’re in the back trying to figure out what to do next.

    Quagmire: Well maybe we can find out as Todd Stevenson is standing by with a couple of them. Todd…

    *The camera cuts to the back where Todd Stevenson is shown in front of TDA’s office*

    Todd: Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce at this time…

    *Chainsaw grabs the mic and pushes Todd out of frame. He then looks into the camera with a furious look in his eyes*

    Chainsaw: Whoever the fuck is doing this, you better pray to God or to whatever it is you seek comfort in, because when The Rejects finally get a hold of you. We are going to make you wish for death. You hear me, DEA…


    *The two men in black run in and push both Nightwolf and Chainsaw from behind. The men in black then start to run away through the halls. Chainsaw then yells…*

    Chainsaw: GO GET THEM NIGHTWOLF!!!

    *Nightwolf starts running after them. The sounds of the two men laughing are guiding Nightwolf in the direction they are running. Wolf is running at high speeds toward them. They go through a black curtain and Wolf follows close behind. They have led him to the ring area. He is at the top of the stage and they are on the ramp taunting him. He prepares to run and then makes a mad dash towards them when this happens…*



    Quagmire: Oh my god, did you guys see that?

    Joe: Of course we did Quagmire. The pyro went off right as NightWolf was running towards the two men. Fortunately for Nightwolf he was running so he didn’t get the full impact of the explosives but that could have been a lot worse.

    Peter: Well, we can throw coincidence out the window. That was obviously planned.

    *Nightwolf gets up feeling the burns and sees that that the two men are at the top of the audience stairs. They point at the JABETRON. Nightwolf looks up at it and it says…”YOU WILL NOT CONTROL US” Nightwolf looks back up to where the two men were and they’re gone. The camera shows Nightwolf getting angry before the screen fades.*



    (Back from Commercial)

    Connor Chaos vs Tad Locust

    Connor Chaos is on his way down to the ring

    Joe: Another guy who has been on the business end of The Rejects abuse. Maybe he’s involved in what’s going on.

    Peter: Nah, Connor against the whole group thing. If he’s going to cause problems for The Rejects, he’s going to do it all by himself.

    *Connor walks down the ramp to a loud cheer, just before he enters the ring, he looks over his shoulder, before he reaches under the ring, pulling out the sledgehammer used in his match at Rampage of the Titans. A large cheer goes out as he enters the ring*

    Connor: *holding the hammer like a precious jewel* Hello old friend. It’s been a while. *Finally noticing the audience* Oh hey guys, what’s up? You know, a couple of weeks ago I was talking about bringing karma down on Tad Locust during our match. Obviously that didn’t work out because his little group of ‘Rejects’ tried to get some cheap shots in. Mind you, it seems like karma’s been doing a fine job by itself what with how the Rejects have been treated. I mean if they wanted respect, they sure went the wrong way about getting it. Big shout-out to Lenny-Ray, Alpha Dog and Cage. You put yourself on the line in order to show these guys they’re not getting away with it. Respect to all of you. I know for damn sure the Rejects aren’t winning easily.

    *Big Cheer form the crowd*

    Connor: Now to be perfectly honest, the last time I checked, if you were a reject, it usually meant you sucked at something. So what’s that say about Chainsaw? The fact that you and your lackeys suck so badly that Lucifer himself couldn’t be arsed to keep you around? Maybe that’s why you banded together huh? What you thought if you combined nine guys who suck, that you’d make something which sucks less? Well here’s the Herald of Havoc with a little news flash: It’s just make a great big pile of SUCK!!! *Crowd is laughing and cheering* Seriously what are you guys even trying to do by cheap-shotting all the guys you find a threat to your power? Granted Chainsaw and Samson are doing it because their assholes, and Tad and Nightwolf are just crazy dicks, but Silva, Ramjam and the others, what are you getting from this? Do you think this’ll make an impact and make sure you’re remembered? Well guess what, I’ve been doing that SINCE MY FIRST DAY HERE, AND I’VE NEVER NEEDE TO RESORT TO THE COWARDLY TACTICS YOU GUYS ARE USING! *Large cheer from the crowd* So Tad, if you got the cajones to finish what we started two weeks ago, then bring your ass down here right now. And it doesn’t matter if you bring the others cuz guess what...

    *He holds the sledgehammer above his head*

    Connor: I BROUGHT INSURANCE!!!

    *Huge pop from the crowd. Connor drops the mic, props his sledgehammer up on a turnbuckle and waits.*

    Greggory Samuels: And his opponent, he is walking down the aisle, from an undisclosed location, standing six feet and one inch, weighing in at a rock solid two hundred and thirty five pounds...Tad.. Locust


    Peter: This match happened three weeks ago but we didn’t get to see an conclusion due to the interference by The Devil’s Rejects.

    Quagmire: Well maybe we will get to see a conclusion if Tad Locust will get out here.

    *A few moments go by and Tad Locust still has come out on stage and Connor is getting angry until..”

    Joe: AHHH A BLOW FROM BEHIND WITH A KENDO STICK!!! THIS IS REDICULOUS!!!
    Efed stuff...yeah...

    Coming to ???

    Gabriel "The Alpha Dog" Xander

    Luke "Currently In Contract Negotiations" Jameson...hmm...He has some weird nicknames.

  8. #588
    *Tad goes for another attack but Connor stops it. Connor kicks Tad in the midsection and Tad staggers back to the ropes. Connor then runs and jumps on Tad and they both fall over the ropes. Both men get off the mat and Connor punches Tad a few before he grabs Tad by the hair and throws him into a turnbuckle. Tad is leaning against the turnbuckle as Connor grabs his sledgehammer and holds it over his head to a loud pop from the audience. Connor then swings it full force at Tad before Tad moves out of the way. The sledgehammer hits the turnbuckle and the pain in Connors face is obvious as he drops the sledgehammer. Tad then grabs Connor and throws him into a set of stairs. Connor is in pain as Tad runs up to the stage. Feeling that he’s won, Tad has a demented smile on his face before Ron Burgundy appears on the screen*

    Oh what a night we have had tonight. Thank you ladies and gentlemen for joining us. We have one more commercial break coming and then it will be on to our main event where we will see Warfare World Champion Ryusuke “The Shuriken” Serra take on Warfare TV Champion and one half of the Warfare Tag Team Champions HolyJose but first lets see what our Warfare World Champion has to say.

    *Ryusuke is shown in his locker room getting prepped for the match. He notices the camera and looks into it*

    Shuriken: HolyJose.....HolyJose, Warfare's Television and Tag Team Champion. Impressive feat! Not so impressive human being. HolyJose, your arrogance is a plague. I'm amazed that you have "Holy" in your name but your actions doesn't speak holiness. When we meet in the right, I will be the darkness that silences your arrogance.

    Now since you are a dual champion, you will know first hand how dangerous I really am. You and everybody else that is going to watch us. As I've said.....I am a walking, living, breathing torture device. HolyJose.....BE PREPARED! As you will experience pain like you've never felt before in your life and I will show you the difference between you and I.

    Dual Champion....World Champion.....that won't matter when bell rings.....When the bell rings.....the torture will begin. And you will know that my darkness will beat your holiness.


    (Don't forget your condoms kids or this could happen to you)


    *Back from commercial*

    Main Event Time
    Title vs Title match
    Ryusuke “The Shuriken” Serra*World Champion* vs HolyJose*TV Champion and half Tag Team Champion*



    Greggory Samuels: This main event bout is scheduled for one fall and introducing first. He weighs in at an even three hundred pounds, and he is one half of the JBW WARFare Tag Team Champions and the JBW WARFare World Television Champion … HolyJose!!!!!

    Quagmire: Whether you love or hate this guy, you have to admit he is an amazing talent and there is a reason that he is holding those belts.

    Joe: No doubt about it. HolyJose has proved time and time again that he is never one to be underestimated here in JBW and it looks like he has something to say as he has a mic and…what is that?

    *HolyJose walks out carrying an old Shuriken doll with a mini championship belt with 5 letters being blurred out*

    ”Finally! Finally managment realizes I am perfect main event material and knows I can beat the world champion. So Rysuske! Let's go down your past, no doubt you all know this doll here”

    *crowd boos due to it being THE OTHER COMPANY's product*

    “Yes, yes it is from that other comapny and you see the size of this? That's how big you are here in JBW Serra. You're nothing to me. I don't care who you are, what you did, or where you're from but you being WARFare World Heavyeright Champion is a JOKE! I never liked you and quite frankly never will. You seem to intimidate others, yet you don't intimidate me. You act like you're the best in the world but let's face it you just allow managment to give it up your ass and you get everything handed to you. I'm not going to tolorate your bullshit I'll beat you and prove you're not high and mighty as you think you are. I'm not afraid and I won't back down.”

    *Holyjose rips the Shuriken doll and half and throws it to the crowd*

    ”Now get out here so I can do that to you!”

    Greggory Samuels: And his opponent from Los Angeles, California. Standing at five feet eleven inches and weighing in at two hundred and twenty pounds. He is the Warfare World Champion… RYUSUKE “THE SHURIKEN” SEEEEERRRRRAAAA!!!!

    *Huge pop as Ryusuke heads to the ring with the title in hand*

    Peter: Oh my god, it’s Ryusuke. He is so epically calm.

    Joe: He has been proving himself quite well here in JBW. He had a great victory against Tad Locust last week and I can’t wait to see if he can keep that momentum rolling.

    This match is going to be awesome guys. Let’s get it started.

    *Ryusuke and HolyJose stare each other down as the ref calls for the bell*



    Joe: AND THE BOYA-ME KNEE GETS RYUSUKE THE VICTORY! WOW WHAT A MATCH!!!

    Quagmire: That was a hard fought match for both sides and the audience is letting them know it. The excitement is felt all throughout the arena.

    *After celebrating his victory, Ryusuke heads backstage.*

    Joe: That was an amazing match and a great way to end Warfare, so we will send it over to Ron to c…

    You thought they forgot didn't ya?
    Efed stuff...yeah...

    Coming to ???

    Gabriel "The Alpha Dog" Xander

    Luke "Currently In Contract Negotiations" Jameson...hmm...He has some weird nicknames.

  9. #589
    *The Devils Rejects start walking out being led by TDA who is holding a mic. Within the group, Ayako can be seen. They file in and around the ring in the same formation they were in at the beginning of the show. Chainsaw has his hand on Ayakos shoulder.*

    TDA: Times up buddy. Now you get your ass out here or I will make good on my promise and the pain that these will feel will be on your hands.

    * A few moments go by and no one comes out. Chainsaw takes the mic from TDA*

    Chainsaw: DO YOU THINK THIS IS SOME KIND OF GAME?!!! THESE PEOPLE WILL GET HURT IF YOU DO NOT GET OUT HERE!!!

    *A few more moments go by and still no one comes out. TDA takes the mic*

    TDA: Ok then. Your choice. Remember, the things that are about to happen are your fault.

    *The Devils Rejects start grabbing people. Ice Cream Man grabs Quagmire with his headset still on, Demonic grabs Greggory Samuels, Silva grabs a female fan by the hair, and Chainsaw grabs Ayako by the hair as well and lifts up his fist. Ayako is screaming and crying…*

    Quagmire: Something I got to admit to you Peter before I die…

    Peter: *Sniffs* What’s that buddy?

    Quagmire: I…I really wanted to bone your wife. It’s actually one of the only regrets that I have right now is that I was never able to.

    Peter: It’s ok buddy. Everybody wants to bone Louis.

    Joe: I never wanted to.

    Peter: Your not helping Joe! We are really sorry about this JBW Universe but it looks like someone is to self…

    And you really thought I was going to let them hurt those people. I'm shocked!

    *The man who TDA has been looking for comes out holding a clipboard and walks to the ring. The Rejects in front of the ring stare at him with anger but let him pass. He climbs the stairs and gets in the ring, smiling the whole time at TDA. He goes into his jacket pocket and pulls out a mic*

    ???: Fun fact TDA if I may. That music that I just came out to…Gabriel Xanders entrance music when he was in the WWE. Yeah, it was around the time when huh they were having that whole Smackdown vs Raw thing. Another fun fact in that same time Gabriel took a shower with Torrie Wilson, got a massage from Sable, got a lap dance from Stacey Keibler, and there was something else with Trish Stratus but he never told me about that one. All he told me was that it was a pain in the ass to get to, especially that freakin triple threat tag team ladder match, but in the end it was worth it. There’s a lesson to be learned in there somewhere. Just don’t kno…

    *The whole time this guy has been talking everybody has been watching him like he’s an idiot*

    TDA: Hey hey! What do I care about that? Who are you?

    ???: (looks shocked but then realizes) ohhh! Have I not introduced myself yet? Ahh how rude of me! Sorry…(puts out his hand) Zap Alderman…at your service.

    TDA: Zap Alderman?

    Zap: Yeah that’s me but now that I have introduced myself can you have your friends let everybody go please. Lawsuits, that’s what everybody here needs to be worrying about.

    *TDA knods his head up and down looking at The Rejects. They start letting the people they grabbed go*

    Zap: Great we are at an agreement. That’s awesome. Now you and I are needing to have a nice long conversation but I imagine everybody is tired of read…I mean watching this right now, so we’re going to go with just a short version. I’m now your co-GM. Also in my contract that I got when I negotiated with Iron Ape, a middle finger from him to you, you have no power over me and neither does the president. The only person that I answer to…Kashdinero. Also, as long as these seven gents from Mayhem, you know the ones that keep on showing up on the wrong show, keep coming over here to Warfare, I’m going to make your life a living hell.

    TDA: (shocked look on his face) These guys? Chainsaw? Samson? Silva? Nightwolf?

    Zap: Yeah, those guys.

    TDA: Well, I’m going to have to decline and since I can’t fire you and since I can’t order you around, you’re only giving me one option?

    Zap: (looks around the ring at The Rejects) Oh right. That option. Yeah that one would sting wouldn’t it?

    TDA: Yeah it would.

    Zap: Well, you got me there. You certainly have that option. All I can really say is…go on ahead and (smiles big) try it.

    TDA: You’re kidding me right? Are you suicidal? You’ve seen what they can do, right?

    Zap: Oh, yeah. Big reason why I’m here. So, once again, just try it.

    *TDA lifts up his hand and is about to snap his fingers*

    Zap: Oh you are going to do it. You’re about to do the whole snap your fingers thing and The Rejects gang up on me like a blonde at a sausage fest. Well, before you do that let me do it for ya. *lifts up his fingers and snaps them* Didn’t work did it? Well, let me try it again. *does it again* SHIT! Still not working. They’re not moving. Ok, one more try and then the honor is all yours.*lifts up his fingers, preparing to snap them* One more thing though TDA, it’s time for you to meet my backup…*SNAP*


    *The lights go out all around the arena. After a few moments, the JABETRON lights up and words appear again, “WE WILL BE VICTORIOUS!!!” and then music starts to play…”

    They done fucked up now!

    *After the first chorus the lights come back on*

    Joe: What the hell is going…HOLY EFFIN JOSE!!!

    Peter: I know Joe…there’s…six…of them.

    *On the outside of the ring, six men in black stand around the ring wearing night vision goggles with weapons in their hands, one in particular being a sledgehammer. The bodies of the Rejects that were outside the ring are laid out around them. TDA and the rest of The Devil’s Rejects (Nightwolf, Samson, Tad Locust, and Chainsaw) realize that it is now six on five. The men in black take the goggles off and rush the ring. The Rejects get out as fast as possible and start walking up the ramp backwards with pure rage in their eyes and forgetting about the other members of the group. The men in black then look at the remaining five all at once. They then start taking off their masks…)

    Quagmire: Wait a minute who is that…IT’S NICK RIOT AND BILL BASTION OF THE NASTY CREW, AND LENNY RAY BEAURAGARD!!!

    Peter: AND CONNOR CHAOS AND THE ALPHA DOG!!!
    Joe: And who is that…WHAT?!!! WHAT IS MALCOLM CAGE DOING HERE?!!!

    *All six men are smiling at what is left of The Rejects while Zap Alderman is standing in the corner of the ring, clapping. Then The Alpha Dog goes over and grabs a mic.*

    Alpha: Hey Rejects, where are ya’ll going? You all left a mess out here. Oh well, The Alpha Dog guesses THE RESISTANCE IS JUST GOING TO HAVE TO CLEAN IT UP!!! GET EM BOYS!!!

    *The Resistance runs outside of the ring and start picking up the downed Rejects and start throwing them in the ring. The Alpha Dog picks up RamJam and throws him towards Connor Chaos who hits RamJam right in the face with his sledgehammer. Lenny Ray then picks up Ice Cream Man and does the Dixie Drop on him. The Nasty Crew picks up Demonic and hits him with “Going up Nasty Creek without a paddle”(Lethal Injection and Cutter combination) The Alpha Dog picks up Anomander and hits The Alpha Shock, and Malcolm Cage hits The Rehmix on Silva. All the while the rest of The Rejects are screaming at them with rage. Especially Chainsaw.*

    Joe: The battle lines are somewhat even now! This is amazing! The Resistance is here! But that is all the time we have left. Ron…send us out.

    Ron: Kind of patriotic if you think about it. It looks like Warfare might have a chance after all. Witness the blowback from this crazy episode next week on Warfare brought to you by… JBW!!
    Efed stuff...yeah...

    Coming to ???

    Gabriel "The Alpha Dog" Xander

    Luke "Currently In Contract Negotiations" Jameson...hmm...He has some weird nicknames.

  10. #590
    Working in a half hour. Show post now.
    WWE resigned Punk, and everything I've said has come true on these things, so WWE, keep Punk a badass face. He will become a legend if you do.


    JBW is so good, even the most cynical member of the IWC couldn't complain about it. Check out or most recent shows here!

    And join in on the discussion here. We will welcome you with open arms. Please join now by PMing me or WWTNA Mark!

    Horror movie tournament final: The Shining vs. Silence of the Lambs vs. Halloween...coming very soon.

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