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  1. #531

    Mayhem 10-13-11





    Pat: Hello, and welcome everyone to Monday Night Mayhem. We’re live from Madison Square Garden in New York City and we have a boy is this gonna be an amazing show.

    Dudley: Damn right man. I don’t know what’s got you so amped up for tonight’s show, but I know I’m thrilled that for the first time in the history of Mayhem, none of the members of the original V-3 are here tonight! That’s right guys, no Siaki, no George, and no Mass! Yes Pat, this is truly gonna be a beautiful evening.

    Pat: And that just makes me sick. For those of you who’ve been living under a rock, St. George was inexplicitly fired last week by Iron Ape. I’m DYING to see what possible reason he could have for that, but I’m sure we’ll find out. Oh and yes, unfortunately Mass could not be with us tonight either, as he is still on the hunt for RomanFlare. It’s a damn shame too, as I don’t think there is anywhere in the United States that Mass is more over in. Seriously, these guys are huge Mass fans, and good news for them is that TFAOMAD part 2 is still being scheduled for tonight, and in multiple parts no less.

    Dudley: Yeah yeah. I still go on record as saying TFAOMAD is overrated.

    Pat: And that’s why you suck duds. I wanna get back to the St. George situation though. This guy was on an absolute roll. He was on the streak of his career, and all of the sudden he gets fired for no reason. I think Iron Ape knew that K-Jammin couldn’t beat St George in a fair contest, but resorting to firing him? Cmon! Gimme a break!

    Dudley: Now hold on Pat, I’m sure Ape has a perfectly logical explanation why he would have to fire George. I know for a fact it isn’t the reason you stated. Everyone knows K-Jammin is one of the best big-match guys in the industry today. Just see what he has to say before condemning him.

    Pat: Okay fine, but once he gives his BS reason I’m calling him out on it. You already know that. I’m sure this’ll be the topic of discussion all night, but I think we do have to address another situation that’s been developing here in JBW. Of course this situation I’m referring to is the group known as The Devil’s Rejects. Simply put, they’ve been running wild all over Mayhem and WARFare for weeks now, and they’ve quickly gotten out of control.

    Dudley: Out of control? There’s the understatement of the century! Stabbing your boss through the hand with a pen, ramming your old boss’s head through the canvas, and consistently beating down everyone who gets in your way isn’t being out of control. This is something different entirely. What’s more is that we have two of them, RamJam and Ice Cream Man in the main event tonight against The Silver Bros. Who knows what to expect tonight?

    Pat: Exactly. We’ll find out though, as we’re gonna kick things off tonight with…

    Kiddson’s music comes on

    Pat: …apparently Kiddson.

    *Kiddson Walks down the ramp with a megaphone*

    *Kiddson enters the ring and signals for a steel Chair* *Kiddson opens the chair and sit down*

    Kiddson: Once again the bad guy has arrived. Since my outburst last week no one from JBW's management team or from corporate has answer any of my phone calls or respond to my demand, which tells me either they're too busy for me or they dont take me or my threats seriously. What everyone around here needs to start understanding is I'm a man of my word, when i say im going to do something i do it. Last week i said if i dont start getting championship matches and being in the main event that all matches here on mayhem would be canceled, all JBW's merchandise would be sold out. People always say actions speak louder than words well tonight we are going to put that theory to the test.

    *kiddson gets up*

    Kiddson: I am a very powerful man and everyone and everything has a price including this company just by the snap of my figures all of this can be gone!

    *Kiddson snaps his figures, Suddenly a bunch of people(male & female) wearing all black with ski masks jumps over rail and surround the ring holding metal pipes and bats*

    Kiddson: Consider this a hold, We're not going anywhere until demands are reached. Meaning until someone comes out here and gives me a title shot and puts me back in the main event where i belong say goodbye to Mayhem!


    *Kiddson takes the chair and puts it in the corner and sits down and handcuffs himself*

    Pat: What the hell?! Will someone tell this idiot that holding up the show is NOT THE WAY TO GET PUSHED!!! This guy is an asshole. How are we supposed to do the show with him handcuffed to the ringpost?

    *The Underscores, RedDevilSativa, and a few others make their way down the ramp all with pissed off looks on their faces*

    Pat: Finally some people who are gonna restore some order around here. Get this idiot outta here guys!

    Dudley: First of all, they can’t hear you, and second of all, don’t look now, but your three heros are about to get their asses kicked by guys (and girls) with weapons.

    *Kiddson’s hired goons proceed to swing their pipes and bats, and while they are rarely hitting the wrestlers, they are effectively backing them up. Then the goons pounce full force and out JABEsters are no match. They’re quickly swallowed up and beaten down by the hired help, and after their done with our superstars they calmly walk back to guard Kiddson again*

    Is that SES?

    Pat: It IS SES. Hopefuly he can put an end to all of this.

    SES: Are you serious Kiddson? I mean really? Mayhem is gracious enough to take you back and this is how you repay us? By trying to hold us hostage? Well I’ll tell you boy, you better not have swallowed the key to those handcuffs, cuz those babies are coming off quick. That’s right ya little crybaby. I’m giving you a shot, next week in the main event you’ll be facing an opponent of my choosing. It could be anyone at this point. I haven’t really decided yet. If you beat this guy though, and you prove to me you deserve to be in the main event, maybe I’ll consider keeping you there. One love Ace. *drops his mic and heads to the back*

    *Kiddson is shown in the ring with a smirk on his face. He nods to himself, pulls the key out for the handcuffs, and releases himself*

    Pat: I can’t believe we’re gonna give into this asshole’s demands. He’s like a friken terrorist or something. I hope whoever Straights finds kicks his ass. Oh well… Well alright guys, are you ready for some unpredictability? Well, we’re gonna show it to ya whether you like it or not, as we’re cutting backstage to the same dimly lit room hat The Devil’s Rejects have been meeting in.
    WWE resigned Punk, and everything I've said has come true on these things, so WWE, keep Punk a badass face. He will become a legend if you do.


    JBW is so good, even the most cynical member of the IWC couldn't complain about it. Check out or most recent shows here!

    And join in on the discussion here. We will welcome you with open arms. Please join now by PMing me or WWTNA Mark!

    Horror movie tournament final: The Shining vs. Silence of the Lambs vs. Halloween...coming very soon.

  2. #532
    *The Devil’s Rejects, including Katie (complete with Tom the parrot), Tad, and The Lost Souls are shown sitting down, watching intently at their leaders, Samson and Chainsaw, who are standing in front of them*

    Chainsaw: *sigh* Do you all want to know why I’ve called this meeting here tonight? Hmm? It’s because I want to address exactly what went down last week on Mayhem. I want to address why it’s become necessary to take away from my Tad, Ramjam, and Ice Cream Man’s precious time to come here tonight. I want to address why…you….failed…me. First, we’ll start with you two *points at Anomander Rake and Demonic*. First things first, you two failed to intimidate a 95 pound blonde girl in her first ever interview. Can you explain why that is?

    Anomander: She wasn’t…

    Samson: Shut your ridiculous mouth. You failed to intimidate her because you’ve been nothing short of a disappointment since you’ve been here. No one fears a disappointment.

    Chainsaw: Thank you Samson. Next, you cut this interview short to attack…The Sandman. Now how many times have I told you to leave him be. I figured once would be enough, but apparently not. Leave…him…to..me. Apparently I have to say it slowly so you will finally understand. He is mine! No one is to touch him aside from me! Not even you Samson.

    Samson: You don’t have to tell me.

    Chainsaw: I knew I wouldn’t, but I just thought I’d make it clear to the rest of them. Now, after you didn’t intimidate that girl, and after you double teamed Sandman, what exactly happened? Oh I remember now, YOU WERE ANNIHILATED!! And you know what? I’m GLAD you were annihilated. You deserved to be. When I decide to make Sandman an issue, it will be me and me alone. No sneak attacks. No double teams. Just me and him. That man deserves a fair fight and I will give it to him, but on my time only. You two are better than that, and you better start showing it. So let’s see who’s next on the disappointment train..ah yes, Silva.

    Silva: Me? B-but what did I-

    Samson: YOU decided it was a good idea to follow Katie around with a camera man without our consent, and once she was approached by AngrySamoan, what did you do? NOTHING! You did nothing but come straight to us and complain about it. So tell me Silva, because we need to know right now, are you afraid of AngrySamoan? Do we need to put someone else on him, or do you think you can grow a pair of testicles and do something about him?

    Silva: I am NOT afraid of him.

    Samson: THEN PROVE IT! Do something about him. Something nasty. Something he won’t forget. I mean, aren’t you supposed to “love” her? *points at Katie* And you’re just gonna let your arch rival approach her like that and let him walk away? That is not what we’re about Silva. You should know that by now.

    Chainsaw: For what it’s worth Samson, I do not think he is afraid of AngrySamoan. I think he just wanted to let us know what was going on quickly. But alas, I agree, you need to do something about this Silva, and you need to do it tonight. Now, on to you. *stares a hole through Katie, who begins to tremble as Chainsaw gets eye to eye with her* You want to converse with the enemy?? HMMM? This is absolutely unacceptable. By far the worst grievance of them all. This is the way you want to start your new life over? This is the way you want to repay us for allowing you into our family? Katie, this was your FIRST DAY with us, and you let the man who has become Silva’s nemesis try to talk you into leaving us? This is the way you’re gonna treat him? You are a disgrace. *clinches his fist right next to Katie’s face*

    Katie: *crying* I’M SORRY!!! I didn’t know what to do!! I was confused and scared. Please, PLEASE don’t hurt me. *begins to weep uncontrollably*

    Chainsaw: *grunting* Katie. You still think we’re going to hurt you?? After we invite you into our family? You’ve must have actually listened to AngrySamoan. *shakes his head in disappointment* Have you not heard a single word we’ve said to you over the past few weeks? Has it just been going in one ear, through that airy head of yours, and out the other ear? ... Oh, is it that you’re confused? Is it?

    Katie: *nods her head*

    Chainsaw: Okay. Not a very bright one, are we Katie? Let’s think for a minute, why in the world would AngrySamoan want to talk you out of joining us? Why would he suddenly be so interested in you after never speaking to you before? Make an effort to answer now.

    Katie: I-I don’t know.

    Chainsaw: *sigh* The oldest reason there is Katie. He wants to fuck you. And no, he doesn’t want to fuck you because he likes you, he wants to fuck you because he knows it would get into Silva’s head. Oh and of course he wants to bust a cheap nut on a helpless, confused young woman of course. *scoffs* And he dares call us evil. He dares to judge us! And what you don’t seem to understand is, when he judges us, he judges you as well. He wants to use a cheap tactic like that to try to get an undeserved victory over Silva, and for what? A cheap screw followed by never speaking to you again? So tell me Katie, right now, who’s corner are you really on? AngrySamoan’s, or ours?

    Katie: *pauses for a moment* Ours.

    Chainsaw: Good.

    Samson: You’ll forgive me if I’m not exactly the most trusting individual, but I think you need to prove it Katie.

    Chainsaw: Oh, Samson, you think she’s ready?

    Samson: No time like the present. *gets a sickening smile on his face*

    Chainsaw: Alright then. So Katie, I see you’ve brought Tom with you this evening. That’s good. You did exactly like we told you. I assume you’ve been feeding it, showing it the care and attention that we talked about last week?

    Katie: …yeah.

    Chainsaw: Good. He’s a pretty bird isn’t he? It’s a funny thing about animals, they’re such a trusting breed. Much like yourself actually Katie. So...impressionable. Well Katie, it’s time to admit something to you. This, is the one and only time we will ever lie to you, but we did.

    Samson: You see Katie, we implied last week that the bird represented us. The bird represented the way we will treat you if you take care of us. We said it would be your companion, your family, just like we will be your family. Well, we lied. The bird does not represent us. He’s a fucking bird. Far too vulnerable to compare to the Devil’s Rejects. No Katie, the bird represents you. Moreover, it represents the old you. Pretty to look at, but weak and annoying. If you’re going to be a Devil’s Reject, you can afford to be neither. That’s why the new you *points to Katie* is going to kill the old you *points to the bird* right here and now.

    Katie: *stunned look on her face, with tears forming in her eyes* What? I…I have to…kill t-tom?

    Samson: Yes Katie, with your bare hands.

    Katie: Bu-but you told me I had to take care of him. You told me I would have to become his best friend. I’m his whole world now.

    Chainsaw: Yes Katie, that’s the point. Much like your old identity, you’ve grown attached to the bird. That was by design. We want you to kill him just like we want you to kill the old you, to become something much better. When you do this, you will truly become a Devil’s Reject, someone who will never let someone hurt her and get away with it.

    Katie: I’m gonna be sick. I don’t know if I can do this.

    Chainsaw: Then I don’t know if you’re really Devil’s Reject material. Maybe we should just let you walk out of this room and never speak of you again.

    Silva: NO!! *walks over to Katie and whispers in her ear*Katie is you just do this one thing, you’ll be a part of us forever. You don’t have to do anything else again. That’s what I’m here for…but they won’t let me be here for you if you don’t do this. Just imagine it’s K-Jammin, or even *twitches* AngrySamoan now that you know what he was trying to do to you. Please Katie, please. If you do this then we can be one big happy family. Just me, you, and mother. I promise.

    Katie: *whimpers as she walks slowly over to the bird cage*

    *the camera pans up towards the ceiling so we do not have to see what’s happening, but we can still hear the desperate squawks and shrieks coming from Tom, along with the sobs from Katie. The sound the bird is making is piercing, but then silent, until we hear what sounds like a liquid splattering on the ground. The camera pans back to Katie now, who is a blood soaked mess*

    Katie: *shaking* He bit me. *sniff sniff* I’m bleeding pretty bad.

    Samson: It’s okay Katie. We’ll get you fixed up. Silva, why don’t you come with me and we can walk Katie over to the medical station.

    *Silva, wraps his arm around a still very shaken up Katie, and the three of them walk out of the room. The camera pans back to the rest of the Rejects, who apparently couldn’t be happier*

    Chainsaw: *laughs manically* Well that was fun. Back to business though. Nightwolf, don’t worry for one second about the repercussions of what you did last week. You were the lone soldier who went above and beyond your responsibilities last week, and Iron Ape couldn’t be more frightened of you. If by some reason he gathered up all his courage to mutter out those two faithful words to you, all we would have to do is pay him a little visit and you would be reinstated in no time. Right then, so we all know what the plan is for the rest of the night then? Good. Let’s go teach them the reason this show is called Mayhem.
    WWE resigned Punk, and everything I've said has come true on these things, so WWE, keep Punk a badass face. He will become a legend if you do.


    JBW is so good, even the most cynical member of the IWC couldn't complain about it. Check out or most recent shows here!

    And join in on the discussion here. We will welcome you with open arms. Please join now by PMing me or WWTNA Mark!

    Horror movie tournament final: The Shining vs. Silence of the Lambs vs. Halloween...coming very soon.

  3. #533
    Pat: What…*sighs* what in the hell are we gonna do about this Dudley? What are we gonna do? This is out of control. No one is safe around here. They just made Katie kill her own pet. I’m telling you, I don’t know how they convince these people to do what they want them to do, but it’s scary. It’s like they get so petrified by fear that they have to do as Samson and Chainsaw say.

    Dudley: You’re telling me. And what’s worse is that their amassing a small army. A small army of psychopaths who can do whatever they want without repercussions. It’s sickening.

    Pat: It’s downright scary is what it is. I tell ya, it’s hard to move on, but up next…we’re gonna cut to the back where Iron Ape has just walked into KashDinero’s office.

    Ape: Hello Mr. Dinero. How’s the family?

    Kash: Enough pleasantries Ape. Why the hell did you fire St. George?

    Ape: Funny thing about that….

    Kash: It’s nothing funny ‘bout it. Tell me why you fired someone without my permission.

    Ape: He was threatening K-Jammin.

    Kash: Are you kidding me?

    Ape: No. I don’t joke about my World Champion’s personal safety, and it was being threatened big time.

    Kash: This is a wrestling company Ape. St. George was the number one contender, he’s supposed to threaten the champ because that’s what sells PPVs.

    Ape: Yeah but this was excessive. You heard what he was saying.

    Kash: He was saying nothing out of the ordinary. If this is the best you can come up with Ape, you can bet your ass St. George will be coming back, and when he does he’s coming for your ass. Consider this firing appealed Ape.

    Ape: That’s fine. Appeal it if you want, but it’ll take at least 4 more weeks.

    Kash: Exactly after St. George’s number 1 contendership will be over. Sonofabitch.

    Ape: Is that all Kash?

    Kash: Well, I was gonna see whether or not NightWolf should be reprimanded, but now I think you should just be the one to deal with him.

    Ape: *sigh* Yeah. *gets up and walks out of Kash’s office*


    Pat: Unbelievable. Clearly they had this planned all along. They knew the firing will be appealed. They knew St. George would be back, but not until after the next PPV. I hate to say this, but I’m almost glad that asshole got stabbed through the hand last week.

    Dudley: What a terrible thing to say about your boss. You should be ashamed of yourself. I think it was a wonderful plan! They outsmarted V-3, what more can you say?

    Pat: Well, when St. George does come back, there’ll be hell to pay, you can bet on that. Back in the ring though…

    Match 1: Pauley Cadillacs vs. AngrySamoan

    AngrySamoan
    The Angriest Samoan Ever

    Pat: Well guys, here comes AngrySamoan and I think this will be an interesting match-up to say the least. Both guys are on a good roll here, and both of them are young guys trying to make an impact here on Mayhem.

    Dudley: Yeah I would have to agree with you. Pauley Cadillacs in my mind has to be the favorite, but AngrySamoan is definitely tough.

    Pauley Cadilliacs
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAQQ1Vlk1nE

    Pat: Dammit, I almost forgot there for a second. Pauley Cadilliacs is coming down the ramp with the referee for this match; Vinnie Bumbatz. Throw out everything we said earlier about this being a great match. How is anyone supposed to beat Pauley when he has the referee on his payroll?

    Dudley: Pat, is your memory really that bad? Do you not remember how every other referee consistently screws Pauley out of his matches? Having Vinnie Bumbatz refereeing his matches is a necessity, or else Pauley would never win a match.

    Pat: Well that last line I can agree with. If Vinnie wasn’t refereeing for Pauley he wouldn’t win a match. Well guys, this one is underway. I hope I’m wrong.

    *both men go for a tie up to kick things off, but quickly Pauley ducks underneath and goes for a roll-up. Vinnie dives into position and slams his hand quickly on the mat 3 times. And this one is over.*

    Pat: Dammit! See?! What the hell was that? This is ludicrous. How is anyone supposed to beat this guy under these circumstances?

    Dudley: What are you talking about Pat? That was a great strategy by Pauley. AngrySamoan got caught with his pants down and Pauley took advantage. Great win.

    *Pauley slips under the ropes as AngrySamoan is clearly not happy with the result. Pauley stands at the bottom of the ramp and is facing the ring, gloating of his cheap win right in AngrySamoan’s face. AngrySamoan won’t take it though, and he runs after Pauley. Pauley tries to scurry away but Samoan is running full steam after him. Out of nowhere Vinnie Bumbatz hits a wicked clothesline on AngrySamoan as he was giving chase. Pauley now turns around to gloat once more at Samoan, and then turns and walks to the back.*

    Pat: This is just awful. Someone needs to do something about this Pauley Cadillacs, and do it fast. I fear this man is gonna be able to cheat his way to the top, and that’s juts not right. Anyway, our cameras are gonna cut to the car park now, so you can guess what that means.



    The Sleeper's 1959 Chevrolet Impala pulls up to the arena and he and Nikki Belzova get out. Sleeper looks to be in a real bad mood. Roland Butter is in the parking lot awaiting the arrival of V3 so he can ask them their thoughts on St. George being fired last week on Mayhem.

    RB: Sleeper Nikki, what are your thoughts on fellow V3 member, St. George being fired last week by K-Jammin by the orders of Iron Ape?

    Sleep: This is bullshit! I'm sick of this mutha fucka Iron Ape, using his position to hand title shots to his friends and get rid of the ones standing up to him that he knows he can't beat! You notice he didn't even have the balls to do it himself he had to have K-Jam come out and do it for him! He's lucky he keeps himself locked up in his office or I would be kicking his ass up and down this parking lot all night long!

    RB: With Siaki's legal problems, St. George being fired and Ma$$Dinero in Las Vegas looking for RomanFlare what are the future plans for V3?

    Sleep: What the fuck do you mean by that? You think without the founding members we aren't capable of taking care of business? I was taking care of myself before them and if Ape fired every member I would still be taking care of shit! You better watch your fucking mouth before you get kicked in it fool!

    Nikki: Calm down Sleeps, save it for in the ring. He didn't mean anything, he was just asking a question. Don't worry Butters I won't let him get to you. Now as for our plans, well tonight for us it's business as usual.

    Sleep: Yeah mutha fucka watch what I have in store for that B-I-itch tonight! DEUCES!
    *As Sleeps says that he throws up a peace sign and he and Nikki walk off.*

    RB: Deuces? What does that mean? Anyways, back inside to you, Pat and Dudley.


    Pat: Well, V-3 is here guys. I still don’t know why they got rid of Melissa though. She couldn’t have been any worse then Roland Butter right?

    Dudley: Who knows and who cares?
    WWE resigned Punk, and everything I've said has come true on these things, so WWE, keep Punk a badass face. He will become a legend if you do.


    JBW is so good, even the most cynical member of the IWC couldn't complain about it. Check out or most recent shows here!

    And join in on the discussion here. We will welcome you with open arms. Please join now by PMing me or WWTNA Mark!

    Horror movie tournament final: The Shining vs. Silence of the Lambs vs. Halloween...coming very soon.

  4. #534
    Pat: Melissa cared. Well up next we have…

    The Jackasses!

    Pat: Well apparently we’re gonna get an unexpected visit from The Jackasses.

    Dudley: Ugh. These guys haven’t been released yet?

    Pat: Hell no Duds! Listen to that reaction. Why would we release that? Now quiet down Duds, Red Ryda has a mic and is about to talk.

    RR: Hey guys how are ya’ll doin’ tonight!! *crowd pops* Well I’m glad you’re all enjoying yourself so far. Me and Gabs here though are gonna try to make you enjoy yourselves just that much more. You wanna tell ‘em how man?

    Gabo: Sure thing. Well, we were digging through some archives back home, and we found som really cool pictures to share with you guys on your all time favorite mass-murderers, The Devil’s Rejects.

    RR: Oh I gotta show this first one. But first, a backstory. Remember way back when, when Samson was coming back and then he wasn’t coming back because we we’re pulling that awesome prank on those idiots to make them think he was coming back even though he really did come back like a couple weeks later? Yeah, remember then? Well, when we were in the middle of that prank, we had bought some voice modifiers for some of the guys Chainsaw was bullying around to make them sound like Samson, and boy was he scared! Tech guy, why don’t you pop up that first picture of Chainsaw on the Jabetron for me. Oh, there he is, the menacing Chainsaw. Haha!

    *crowd laughs at the ridiculous pic*

    Gabo: Yeah those were some fun times. I mean, why wouldn’t Chainsaw be scared though? He did kill the man afterall. It’s okay though, those two apparently kissed and made up!

    *crowd laughs even harder*

    RR: Oh but then they got real mad at us. Especially The Apostles. I mean, check out this idiot right here. What can of name is Demonic anyway?

    *crowd pops hard with laughter*

    Gabo: Well, you gotta give ole Demonic a little credit Ryda. I mean, that’s not as stupid a name as Anomander Rake

    *crowd erupts with laughter, but it quickly dies down as Anomander Rake and Demonic walk out of the curtain with a determined look on their face*

    RR: Now!!

    *as The Apostles are walking briskly down the ramp, a net drops from the rafters and catches them. The Apostles are completely immobile now, and The Jackasses are quick to take advantage, as they pick up the net by it’s end, and tie it to a structure they apparently have had set up this entire time. This structure lifts The Apostles up so they are trapped in the net which is being suspended above the ramp*

    Gabo: You know what these two look like to me Ryda?

    Ryda: What Gabs?

    Gabo: One bigass piñata

    *all of the sudden this music begins to play in the speakers and The Jackasses begin to dance accordingly to the tune as the crowd is busting their gut at their antics. They dance their way all the way to the ring where the look under it and grab a pair of kendo sticks. The crowd stops laughing and pops hard, as The Jackasses start beating The Apostles senseless with the weapons*

    Gabo: *takes a mighty heave at the “piñata”* Hey look, something fell out!

    RR: *picks it up and observes it* A tooth? What the hell kinda piñata are you two?


    *The Jackasses continue their assault until finally NightWolf and Tad Locust storm out to ringside, but by the time they get out there, The Jackasses are long gone through the crowd. We can see Nightwolf looking around to see if he can find something to cut The Apostles down with as we cut to commercial break*

    *commercial break*

    Pat: We’re back from commercial now, and I gotta tell ya, that was one of the funniest damned things I’ve ever seen!

    Dudley: Yeah I hate those Jackasses, but I gotta admit, that was pretty damned funny. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer pair of guys too.

    Pat: But you gotta assume retribution will be coming soon from The Devil’s Rejects. I mean, once The Apostles get their hands on The Jackasses, well, it won’t be pretty. It was a funny, well-deserved beatdown, but it wasn’t exactly smart.

    Dudley: What about what’s gonna happen to The Apostles? I mean, you heard what Chainsaw said to them earlier, and after falling for a prank like that? Wow, you know Chainsaw cannot be pleased.

    Match 2:Polly-Pablo vs Lucy

    It's Polly-Pablo!!

    Pat: Well, people, here comes a young lady who is apparently about to take a few people by surprise with this pro- I mean match. There was a reason why she was allowed to name her price when she signed on the dotted line. Let's hear what she has to say.. Make or break time, Poll.

    Polly: Wow, my very first promo, how very fortunate I am! *rolls eyes*
    For those of you that weren’t present last week, let me give you a brief introduction into who I am.
    My name is Polly-Pablo; I’m the newest female recruit to your Mayhem roster. Although I’m fairly sure that it should be patently obvious where I hail from, for those among you that may be lacking those vital common sense grey cells, I’ll humour you. My home country is a beautiful green and pleasant land, with rolling hills and fresh air. A country where the beer is real, the talk is fast and the women are cheap…. these are just a few of the delightful bounties that are bestowed upon the British.
    I, myself, prefer to be recognised as English. You know that saying? ‘British by birth, English by the Grace of God’…. Well you’ll hear it many more times in the future.
    I love my country for many things, but mostly for the beautiful English language. A language that, unfortunately, many people worldwide see fit to piss all over at any given opportunity. Let it be known right now that I will not stand for this; any and all grammatical and lexicographical slurs will earn the bearer the right to have their arse handed to them.
    I also don’t stand for silly bitches talking smack to me while they should be concentrating on their job in the ring. Maria, had you been paying attention to my girl Nikki kicking your fat backside all over the ring last week, instead of making a pathetic attempt to ‘assert your authority’ over me, your nose wouldn’t be broken and your face wouldn’t currently be doing a bad impression of Jackie Stallone, post surgery darling!!
    But enough of all that, tonight the time for talk comes to an end. Tonight, I will put on a display of strength and dominance that will shake the foundation of the female division here at Mayhem! Without breaking a sweat! Lucy, I don’t give a shit who you’re screwing, he can’t save you tonight honey!
    So, to all the women sat in the back, take a good look and make no mistake about it when I say….you are all on fucking notice!!


    Pat: Well, that told them.

    Dudley: Any woman that articulate HAS to be bad news.

    It's The Great Saviour’s Good Lady

    Dudley: We're not worthy... We're not worthy..We-

    Pat: Please, don't tell me you're going to start that crap whenever Lucy's around, as well.

    Dudley: K-Jammin kinda asked me to. He said it would boost her confidence or something.

    Pat: So you're doing it to be nice? Oh wait, your just doing what K-Jammin tells you. Boy, I wish he would tell you to jump off a cliff, because the sick thing is, I know that you would, literally, jump at the chance. Anyway, I've heard good things about Polly-Pablo, and chances are she's about to do Lucy's confidence no favours



    Dudley: Wow, I guess she is for real. That was a massacre.. I'm going to hell for saying that, I know K-Jam, but it's true.

    Pat: That has to be a first. Wow. Dudley said what he actually thought, and not what someone wanted him to say. Polly, feel honoured. Well, we have to head to commercial now, but we’ll be right back with more Mayhem!!
    Last edited by xStraightxEdgexSaviorx; 10-13-2011 at 07:55 AM.
    WWE resigned Punk, and everything I've said has come true on these things, so WWE, keep Punk a badass face. He will become a legend if you do.


    JBW is so good, even the most cynical member of the IWC couldn't complain about it. Check out or most recent shows here!

    And join in on the discussion here. We will welcome you with open arms. Please join now by PMing me or WWTNA Mark!

    Horror movie tournament final: The Shining vs. Silence of the Lambs vs. Halloween...coming very soon.

  5. #535
    *Back from commercial*

    Dudley: So, I ask the doctor, "Hey Doc, why are you sticking your thermometer there? I would prefer that to be done orally." Then the Doc says to me, "Well, we can do orally if you want to but there are two things you should know first. One, I'm not a doctor and two, that's not a thermometer." *Starts laughing*

    Pat: *Laughs really loud, then realizes something* Wait, we're live. Huuuhhh lets just cut to backstage.

    *Rob Rage, who is wearing jeans and a red hoodie, is walking back stage. Mellissa Mendez walks up to him, looking stunning as always*

    MM: Hi Rob, can we have a word?

    RR: You can have more than hat love. *He grabs Mellissa around the waist and pulls her close, he stares straight into her eyes before saying* You can have a whole interview.

    *He releases Mellissa who looks rather flustered*

    RR: You’re question?

    MM: Oh yes… um… well…*pulls herself together and starts acting more professionally* Your thoughts on your JBW debut and the actions of Matt Haze after the match.

    RR: Well, it’s great to be here in JBW. Plain and simple, it’s the best wrestling company in the world. I am so grateful that I can be here, it’s a dream come true. That being said, I’m not in as good a mood as I should be after a week of living the dream. After my first match here, I left the ring pissed off, and I won. I should be ecstatic, that little British Indy superstar Rob Rage is undefeated in the biggest wrestling company on the planet. But no. I can’t have my moment. After a great, closely contested match, somebody couldn’t take losing. Somebody had to attack me from behind. Somebody thought I didn’t deserve my moment. Well I do, I have fought for everything I have ever got in this business, I deserve to reap the rewards of eight tiresome years working my way up on the Indies. My whole career so far climaxed there, after that match. But that somebody decided he was going to spoil my moment, all because he can’t deal with himself after losing. That somebody is Matt Haze, or Golden Eyed or Miles per Gallon of whatever you want to call yourself. You took my moment, and you spat on it, you disrespected my entire career. You. Pissed. Me. Off. But as my old man always used to say “It’s better to be pissed off than to be pissed on”. Pity, as that’s exactly what I’m going to be doing to you when I get my hands on you. That is of course after I lay you out and beat you down so hard you can’t get up. Ever! You speak of a golden revolution you think you are going to carry out here in JBW. Well I call bullshit on that. You ain’t gonna do shit here in JBW. You determined that when you decided it would be a good idea to steal my moment. Well sunshine, it starts tonight. I’m coming for you bitch. And you do know that!

    MM: Thanks for that.

    RR: Anytime

    *Walks off camera*

    Dudley: How unprofessional of Melissa! Fraternizing with the talent. How could she?

    Pat: That didn't look like fraternizing to me. Anyway, Rob Rage and Matt Haze have formed quite the little rivalry here on Mayhem and I don't see it getting any better before get it gets worse.

    Dudley: Rob Rage is getting himself into trouble. Haze is here to start the Golden Age and if Rob doesn't watch his mouth, he might be made an example of by The Golden Idol himself.

    Pat: Well I kinda doubt that, but we’ll see. We’re gonna cut to the back now, where apparently AngrySamoan has just walked up to Katie. This can’t be good.

    AngrySamoan: Katie! Katie! Wait up. I just wanna talk to you.

    Katie: Just go away! I almost died earlier today because of you!

    AngrySamoan: Oh my God Katie are you okay? You have blood all over you! Is that, yours?

    Katie: No. Well, some of it might be, but…

    AngrySamoan: Katie what the fuck did they do to you? You see, I told you to stay away from them. Did they hurt you? It was Silva wasn’t it? I’ll murder him!

    Katie: Just leave me alone! Can’t you see you’re already causing me enough problems?

    AngrySamoan: I need to take you to a hospital right now.

    Katie: I’m fine just please…

    AngrySamoan: Katie you don’t look fine. C’mon, you’re coming with me. *grabs her by the arm*

    Katie: *shakes him off* Get off of me. What are you trying to do Samoan? Are you trying to fuck me? Is that it? You wanna get in my pants don’t you?

    AngrySamoan: What? I’m married.

    Katie: You’re married?

    *out of nowhere Silva runs up to AngrySamoan and blindsides him. He puts on his finishing maneuver, which is a straight up choke, and AngrySamoan is quickly turning red*

    Katie: Silva! Silva please. *trying to pull Silva off of Samoan* Please get off of him.

    Silva: *struggling* It’s okay Katie. I saw you trying to get away from him.

    Katie: Silva please! Honey. Baby. Sweetie. You gotta get off of him. You’re gonna kill him! He’s turning blue!

    Silva: He DESERVES it Katie!

    Katie: Silva!! I-if you kill him now…umm…you won’t be able to kill him later?

    Silva: What?

    Katie: Yeah baby. You gotta get off of him, or you won’t be able to beat him in a match later on. Chainsaw won’t be happy about that.

    Silva: *releases his grip on Samoan* You think so?

    Katie: Yeah I do. You already proved enough today. We’ll…we’ll get him later. Just come on. Come with me back to our lockerroom. *grabs Silva by the hand and starts pulling him away, and Silva pulls away and gets one more kick to the chops in on Samoan before walking away with Katie*


    Pat: Oh my god. Silva just almost killed AngrySamoan. We need some medical attention in the back please. Will someone get out there? Good God when will this end?! Thank heavens Katie still has a soul or we may have never seen AngrySamoan again.

    Dudley: You see Pat? You see what happens when Iron Ape can’t keep these monsters on a leash anymore? I’m telling you, now that Iron Ape can’t control these guys, JBW has become an unsafe place to work. I wish to God someone would just arrest these freaks and we will never have to see them again.

    Pat: Maybe we’ll get lucky and they can get caught red heanded murdering some kittens or something. Anyway, we’re gonna cut to the back now with Brandon Smithson, who is walking straight into SES’s office.

    Brandon: SES man, I need to talk to you about something.

    SES: Yes?

    Brandon: I know this isn’t exactly your area of concern, but I knew I couldn’t come to Iron Ape with this.

    SES: Spit it out Brandon. I have a show that needs producing here.

    Brandon: It’s Pauley Cadillacs man. Something needs to be done about this.

    SES: Ahh yes, Pauley. I’ve been noticing you two haven’t exactly been seeing eye to eye over the past few weeks.

    Brandon: Well, yeah, there’s that, but do you see the way he’s winning matches? We can’t just let this happen. There has to be something you can do about it. I mean, just take a look at this. *takes out a Blue Ray Disc, looks around the office and finds the PS3. Brandon pops out SES’s copy of Madden 12 and pops in his disc. A clip of Pauley’s last two matches are shown in their entirety.* See man, I timed it out, and Vinnie Bumbatz’s count is waaay faster than what’s normal. His counts are a combined 1.6 seconds, where a normal count is at least three seconds per fall. That means he’s counting 300% faster than what he should be. That’s not fair!

    SES: Brandon, buddy, you have way too much free time on your hands. Listen, I see what you’re saying, but what exactly do you want me to do about it?

    Brandon: I want you to expunge Pauley’s last two wins from the history books, award the wins to AngrySamoan and Daniel Truth, fine Pauley and Vinnie Bumbatz for screwing people over, and make sure Vinnie Bumbatz can’t referee another Pauley Cadillacs match.

    SES: *sarcastically* Oh is that all? Listen man, I know it must suck for whoever is facing Pauley to be dealt this hand, but I only deal with the creative side of things and booking, I don’t deal with talent relations. I know you don’t want to hear this, but Iron Ape is your guy. Besides, there’s that deal I have with Marie to consider. *begins daydreaming about Marie’s mouth again*

    Brandon: You’ve gotta be kidding me. You’re telling me to go to Iron Ape? After their little deal last week? Those two are best of buddies now apparently. He won’t do a damn thing.

    SES: I don’t know what to tell you.

    Brandon: You’re tellin me the rest of the roster is screwed.

    SES: *sighs* Alright. Look, I’ll talk to KashDinero and see if I can get those wins expunged, and maybe a small fine. Vinnie Bumbatz will still referee his matches though. Iron Ape will make sure of that.

    Brandon: Thank you man. I’m glad we can come to this agreement. That’s all I ask.

    SES: Alright, but this is a one time thing. I don’t want you barging into my office every time there’s a beef between talent.

    Brandon: Deal.


    Pat: Well would you look at that. Brandon Smithson on the fight for justice. I’m glad someone’s gonna stand up to Pauley.

    Dudley: Well that just isn’t fair! You can’t just erase history! Pauley won those matches.

    Pat: Yeah, by cheating. Right then, moving on. Up next…
    WWE resigned Punk, and everything I've said has come true on these things, so WWE, keep Punk a badass face. He will become a legend if you do.


    JBW is so good, even the most cynical member of the IWC couldn't complain about it. Check out or most recent shows here!

    And join in on the discussion here. We will welcome you with open arms. Please join now by PMing me or WWTNA Mark!

    Horror movie tournament final: The Shining vs. Silence of the Lambs vs. Halloween...coming very soon.

  6. #536
    Dudley: Oh, oh! My favorite part of the show is coming up next. That’s right guys, the ring is now set up for an episode of Jammin with K-Jammin!

    K-Jammin's music hits

    Pat:... and out he comes wearing a shirt that reads " The K-Jam says... I just fired St Geroge!" which obviously does not sit well with the fans, or me for that matter. Whatever though, this asshole has a mic and is about to speak.

    KJ:" Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for JAMMIN WITH K-JAMMIN! *boo's* Now as you saw last week, I demolished AngrySamoan in about 3 minutes and had the beat the clock contest in the fucking bag. But Good ol' St George beat Eric Bischoff in about 20 seconds, but as always who came out on top? You bet your fucking ass's it was me! I fired St George, that's the kind of power I have as World Champion and a member of The Eye. George's career is dead, George's career will remain dead and I promise you that! I am the single most dominant force in JBW history, and I did it without you hypocritical parasites who know fuck all about Wrestling. Now, let's begin the most talk about show on television today.. Jammin With K-Jammin! I'll be honest with you, I've been having sex with Lucy all day today so I didn't have time to book any guests, so I left it to my main man Mr Roland butter organise it all, soooooo... come on down!"

    *Out walks Yes_I_Am & The _Crippler, and K-Jammin looks confused...

    KJ:" Whoaa whoa whoa im supposed to have wrestlers on my show, do you two even work here?"

    Y_I_A: " Don't get funny with us K-Jam, you know exactly who we are"

    KJ:" I genuinely don't..."

    Crippler:" Well how about we beat you until our names sink into that thick head of yours"

    KJ:" Easy fellas, don't get excited now. Let's begin, so ermmmm ... you guys like ice cream?"

    Y_I_A:" What kind of a question is that?!"

    KJ:" Well how can I ask you about wrestling if I don't know who the fuck you are?"

    *Crippler stands up and get's in K-Jammin's face, but is pulled back by Y_I_ A*

    KJ: " *laughs* Okay okay let's all calm down now, would you guys like a beer?"

    *They both shake their heads*

    KJ:" Fair enough, so what's your views on St George finally being fired? Bet backstage is so much better now you don't have to hear any of that cockney slang every fucking second. However I wouldn't know if its better or not, as I have my own changing room *winks*"

    Crippler:" St George wrestled his matches with pride and honour, your just in this for money and power and that's not what this business is about"

    KJ:" So your in this business to make friends so you can all run off into the sunset and eat ice cream and watch Disney movies? Maybe that's why im main eventing PPV's as the World Heavyweight Champion with more money than I can spend and you two are barely known and shine strangers shoes for a couple of bucks"

    Crippler: "We haven't been fed opportunities like you have, we've been working from the bottom and we will get to the top"

    KJ:" What a fine speech jackass, tell you what how about I give you both an opportunity right now? You two verses me! Imagion what that would do for your careers, beating a World Champion. Hell if you beat me, I'll even use my power to give you two a shot at the Tag Team Titles next week. You in?

    Crippler:" *Looks at Y_I_A who nods* Yeah we're in, let's do this!"


    Match 3: K-Jammin vs. The Underscores



    Pat: Unreal. K-Jammin just beat TWO opponents tonight.

    Dudley: Not only did he beat them, he beat them badly. Wow what an athlete! We’re not worthy. We’re not worthy.

    Pat: Oh will you stop that! Be a professional for God’s sake! We have a show to do. Time now for the…


    Mayhem Move Of The Week



    Pat: This move by Rob Rage last week over “The Golden Idol” MPH helped him to his first win here in JBW. Rage was mighty impressive in his debut, and he certainly looks like the real deal here in the early goings of his career. I for one was very impressed by what I saw from that guy.

    Dudley: Were you impressed when The Golden Idol rocked his ass after the match? Because that’s what I was impressed by. THAT guy is for real. I can already tell.

    Pat: Well since you asked no, I wasn’t impressed. I thought it was a cowardly act and my first impressions of Matt Haze is that he’s a sore loser.

    Dudley: That’s because you have no eye for talent. Matt Haze is here to stay fellas. Mark my words…

    Pat: You're probably right I'm sad to say. Well guys, right now we have a treat for you. As promised earlier, we’re gonna be showing Ma$$Dinero’s search for Romes all night long. This is just the first of the 4 part epic. Enjoy.

    'Would you just shut the fuck up, Dave!! All I've fuckin' heard throughout this whole long arsed flight is your fucking whiny little fuckin' voice!' I said in a loud enough voice to garner a mutter from the fat bloke in the seat four rows down from us.
    'Isn't it fuckin' clear to you by now that I wouldn't be on this poxy plane traveling to Sin fuckin' City if I wasn't one hundred percent certain that ol' RimmingFlare isn't being followed as we speak?' I asked my buddy in a more quieter voice, before I continued. 'Sin City, Dave? Do you know how fuckin' dangerous it is for me to go to Sin City? Sin City plus Ma$$ equals sin all round. Bruv, there might not even be a city after I leave that bloody place!'
    'Ok, Ma$-'
    Dave was interupted, as from the other end of the plane, a woman looking like a half naked peacock began strutting down the aisle to looks from all. We were on our way to Vegas, and it felt as if some kind of outside forces were playing with the devil in me.

    'Dave, did you see the way she just winked at me? Bruv, I'm telling you I'm in there.'
    'No way.' He said with a smirk.
    'I'm telling you, Dave, I've got an eye for these things.' I told him.
    His doubtful tone annoyed me, so I told him. 'After all the chicks you've seen me get, you're still gonna hate on me? Man, watch this.'
    I called over a trolley dolly who for all I know could have been giving me the eye as well, but I was too busy finishing typing something on my iPhone. When she was close enough to see that she was quite fit herself, I flashed my winning smile and gave her a wink and showed her what I had just typed.

    can u plz ask dat
    chick wiv da peacock fing
    on her head to meet me
    in da bathrm in 5 mins
    xxx
    Roughly thirty five minutes later, and ten minutes before landing, Dave saw the peacock girl come out of the bathroom, and ten seconds later he saw me follow her.

    I gave him a smirk, and when she walked by him he coughed, but I'm sure I caught a slut in there somewhere.

    We hadn't even landed and I had already sinned.

    Vegas was gonna be fun.


    Pat: They just keep getting better each and every time! And we have THREE MORE of these just tonight?! Amazing. We’re gonna cut backstage now where Pauley Cadilliacs is sitting backstage with Marie and Vinnie Bumbatz.
    Last edited by xStraightxEdgexSaviorx; 10-13-2011 at 08:46 AM.
    WWE resigned Punk, and everything I've said has come true on these things, so WWE, keep Punk a badass face. He will become a legend if you do.


    JBW is so good, even the most cynical member of the IWC couldn't complain about it. Check out or most recent shows here!

    And join in on the discussion here. We will welcome you with open arms. Please join now by PMing me or WWTNA Mark!

    Horror movie tournament final: The Shining vs. Silence of the Lambs vs. Halloween...coming very soon.

  7. #537
    *We catch Pauley and Marie in mid-conversation*

    Pauley: Marie babe, you know you can always use Vinnie for your matches as well.

    Marie: I know babe, but I can beat this bitch even with biased refs. I know that.

    Pauley: I know, but we could have a-

    *Pauley is interrupted by a stage hand who happened to be walking by*

    Stagehand: Pauley! I’ve been looking all over for you.

    Pauley: Oh and just why is that?

    Stagehand: Well, don’t shoot the messenger, but Brandon Smithson just ratted you out to SES. Your last two wins have been expunged.

    Pauley: Oh you’re kidding. That little rat bastard hippie prick snitched on me??

    Stagehand: Yeah, I just thought I would warn you. I told you man, I’m just the messanger. Don’t get mad at me.

    Pauley: Oh I’m not mad at you. *punches out the stagehand and turns to his crew* Cmon! We’re going to Iron Ape for this.

    *Italian Justice walk briskly through the corridors to Iron Ape’s office and barge themselves in*

    Ape: What the hell?

    Pauley: Ape you need to fix this.

    Ape: Fix what? Is this gonna be a weekly thing?

    Pauley: If I keep getting fucked than yeah! I don’t like bein fucked unless it’s by a dimepeice Ape, and Brandon Smithson aint no dimepeice. You’re gonna make this right.

    Ape: What in the world are you talking about? You want a match with Brandon Smithson now?

    Pauley: No. I want you to fix the damage he’s done. I’ll deal with him personally on my own time. That jerk went and ratted on me to SES, and now I’m down two wins! What the fuck are you gonna do about this Ape?

    Ape: There’s nothing I can do. SES probably went to Kash with this, and if he did then it’s over my head.

    Pauley: I don’t care what you have to do Ape. I don’t care if you have to get a promotion and go over Kash’s head with this, you’re going to fix this, or else that shiny new security team that’s guarding your office doors right now might decide to go on strike. Who you gonna get then huh? Hose same assholes you had before? The same guys that have gotten their asses kicked by the devil’s whatevers who are after you? You think they’re gonna take a bullet for you? No sir, aint gonn happen.

    Ape: Alright you’ve made your point. How about next week you face two local kids and get two easy wins? That way you’ll be back to what you were before.

    Pauley: And what, have those wins thrown out too? Great, then I’ll be down 4 losses.

    Ape: No you won’t. I guarantee these wins aren’t gonna written out of the history books for any reason.

    Pauley: You better, because the good book says “the lord giveth, and the lord taketh away” and as far as you’re concerned, I am god around here. *makes the cross sign by pointing at his body* Are we understood?

    Ape: Yeah yeah, don’t let the door hit you…”god.”


    Pat: Well I knew he’d find a way to weasel on out of that one, but still, getting wins over to local yokals that no one has ever heard of is hardly getting wins over Daniel Truth and AngrySamoan. It’d make my year if one of those locals beat Pauley next week.

    Dudley: It aint gonna happen Pat. Well, this isn’t exactly ideal for Pauley, but it’s better than nothing, and it was the best Iron Ape could do. Moving on…


    Pat: We're gonna cut to the back now where we have Lucy and K-Jammin. Hopefully this'll be quick, cuz I'm sick of seeing that jerk.

    *We see K-Jammin and Lucy backstage...*

    KJ:" You see that babe? I just kicked the shit out of 2 men at the same time! Tell me im the greatest...

    Lucy:" Your the greatest baby! *starts stroking his chest* Oh but um, I think I need saving again *smiles*

    KJ:" *grins* Again? You've been saved 8 times today, and 2 of those were in the ass...

    Lucy:" Please baby, it's just seeing you in the ring turns me on soooo much"

    KJ:" In a bit babe, i promise. By the way, you seen Katie around lately? She's joined the zombie twins in some weird cult, they were saying shit like 'Oh K-Jammin treated you so bad, come with us and join us' and bla bla bla"

    Lucy:" That girl is fucked up, I kinda hope the crucify her"

    KJ:" I'd love that, and then when they crucify her I'll send Samson back to the grave for bad mouthing me, and then I'll chainsaw Chainsaw's dick off, the irony in that is awesome. Now what position do you want to be saved this time?"

    *Lucy smiles, and the two run off into the showers together*

    Dudley: Ha! Man I can't wait until K-Jammin finally is able to get his hands on The Devil's Rejects. They've been talking shit about him for way too long now. I mean seriously, what business do they possibly have with K-Jammin, and why in the world would they want to pick through his leftovers AKA Katie?

    Pat: I don't know, but you know those guys have a plan. They always do. Up next we have some great singles action fromtwo former friends

    Match 4: The Sleeper vs Helmsley

    Sleeps is in the house.

    *The pyro explodes and when the smoke clears the Sleeper is standing in the entry way. Sleeps comes out and recieves a huge pop from the crowed. He walks to the ring seemingly in a better mood than he was in when he arrived. Sleep gets in the ring and signals for all of his fans to calm down.*

    Sleep: Since my homeboy Georgie got fired last week I have been in a pretty bad mood, but I was just in the back watching the replay of last weeks Mayhem and I could not stop laughing at the way I made Ted look last week. And the look on BodomInvader's face was just priceless. Only the Sleeper would put a gold grill on a grizzly bear. Also you notice that B-I-itch didn't do a damn thing about it. Come to think of it, that little pussy hasn't done shit about the couple times I superkicked him either. I'm starting to think he won't be a suitable opponent for me to prove myself with on my come back, but I'm having so much fun fucking with this fool that I don't think I'm gonna stop it anytime soon.


    BodomInvader, one of JBW's finest!

    Pat: And here comes BodomInvader walking down the ramp to the halfway point! He has a mic in his hand so let's see what he has to say!

    Dudley: Whatever it is it's gonna be great! Ever since he stopped talking like a dickhead he's become one of my favourites here on Mayhem, and I'm sure my good buddy Manabu would agree.

    BI: Sleepy head! You come out here last week doing some sort of voodoo dentistry on Ted's mouth? And now you want to stand up there and call me a pussy!?! The reason I didn't help Ted was because he's a big boy and doesn't need my help! Now the next time we meet I am going to kick your ass and then perform, FOR THE FIRST TIME IN THE HISTORY OF JBW, a LIVE CASTRATION! Let's see you try your sissykicks then!

    *Crowd looks mortified*

    HA! Got your attention? That's right, stand there with your jaws wide open! I would call that good practice because that's what a person would do once their cajones have been cut off!

    *man in crowd passes out*

    So get ready "Man Who Sleeps with No Balls" because your time is up and I'm bringing the kitchen scissors!

    Sleep: Hahahaha that's a funny story there bro, you need to worry more about me kicking your ass then fondling my genitelia. In fact quit looking at my pants my eyes are up here pole smoker.

    *The crowd gasps and Sleeps looks around confused at them *

    Sleep: Man fuck G.L.A.A.D.! Fuck them in their asses. Sorry Straights I'll be awaiting a fine for that one. Now back to you if you're looking for a fight then get in this ring and let's do the damn thang if not then get the fuck out of here Goldielocks and get back to your Papa Bear, Ted.


    BI: You think I give a Donkey's dick what you think of GLAAD? You need to worry more about finding a seamstress to sew your nuts back on after the castration! Also, you might want to get a vicodin prescription as well. Anyway, your pathetic! All you do is dream of Ted. I guess you like the big boys! Now when we get in the ring, don't forget to bring your balls.


    Sleep: What is it with you why do you keep referring to cocks and balls. I know that is what's allways on your mind, but keep your fantasies to yourself. How many times do I have to tell you, I don't swing that way. I'm down to get in a fight any day or time but all this homo shit needs to stay in your head. Because I guarantee if you even try to castrate me, I guarantee that you will die with your own balls in your mouth and your dick up your ass! Now if you want to fight like a man then get in the ring, otherwise you're wasting my time and you need to run along.

    BI: Right after I kick your ass, I am going back to the locker room where all of the other JBW fan boys are smoking weed and drinking 40's! I will join them in the festivities while we watch you go by on a gurney while nurse RamJam slips your castrated balls into his purse for his Santeria!

    So bring your A game because I am ready as are the scissors! Chop! CHOP! CHOP!


    *Helmsley*

    *Sleeper is staring at the entrance way looking for Helmsley*

    *BodomInvader sneaks up behind Sleeper and hits him in the head with a steel chair. Out of nowhere, BI pull a pair of kitchen scissors and tries to castrate a knocked out Sleeper when security hit the ring and subdue him*

    Dudley: Thats it B-I! Show this creepy little masked weirdo that when you mess with The Eye.. Things get ugly!
    Last edited by xStraightxEdgexSaviorx; 10-13-2011 at 08:52 AM.
    WWE resigned Punk, and everything I've said has come true on these things, so WWE, keep Punk a badass face. He will become a legend if you do.


    JBW is so good, even the most cynical member of the IWC couldn't complain about it. Check out or most recent shows here!

    And join in on the discussion here. We will welcome you with open arms. Please join now by PMing me or WWTNA Mark!

    Horror movie tournament final: The Shining vs. Silence of the Lambs vs. Halloween...coming very soon.

  8. #538
    Pat: Are you kidding me?... How we could all once think he was a sweet innocent guy is beyond me now. That may have been the most vicious thing we have seen. BodomInvader was actually going to chop Sleepers balls off! I think we are going to have to move on from this horrific display of depravity. Obviously this match has been thrown out, so what do we have scheduled next?

    Dudley: Well, it looks like we are going backstage where Miss Mendez is standing by. Melissa!

    Melissa Medez: Thank you Pat! At this time allow me to welcome “The Golden Idol” MPH!

    MPH: I would like you to address me as Mr. Haze from now on!

    MM: Mr. Haze last week you came up in a losing effort against fellow new comer Rob Rage. What are your thoughts about this?

    MPH: Listen last week is only going to be remembered for one thing, and that is the day that the Golden Age began! I set about changing the landscape of this company and last week was phase one! After my match I drove my arm into the back of Rob’s skull. I stood there and watched as he fell motionless to the floor. I am MPH, I am the Golden Idol, and this is what I do! I’m making a name for myself and I’m not waiting for the opportunities to be given to me! All I want is screen time, because when I’m on your screens MPH is the only thing on your mind. Slowly but surely I’m going to be the reason you tune into this show. Then I’m going to be the guy who appears on all the promotional art. I’m going to be the good will ambassador for what ever single issue organisation we are working with. I’m going to be the guy on all your T-shirts, and the guy in the posters hanging on your children’s walls! I will be the focal point of this company. I’m going to be the premier guy on the premier brand, trust me!

    MM: Mr Haze, you don’t actually believe that do you?

    MPH: Look at me Melissa; I’m talented, intelligent and handsome. I have a body that makes men wet. I bet your getting all wet right now just looking at me. MPH is willing to make a stay at casa Medez when ever you want!

    MM: You disgust me!

    MPH: Don’t hide it. But I’m not here to pick up some skank, I’m here to address the JBW, and most importantly Rob Rage. Rob If you think that your victory last week meant anything you are very mistaken! The next time I get a chance I’m going to beat you so bad that you won’t even remember your own name! Rob you have made a very, very powerful enemy out of me, and trust me I’m not the kind of guy you want on your back! Melissa I’m done with this, give me a call. And Rob keep your eyes on the road, because the Golden Idol is coming...

    *Before he can finish the last sentence, Rob Rage runs into frame behind Haze and hits Haze with an elbow to the back of the head, causing Haze to fall hard. Rob picks up Haze and throws him face first towards a wall. Haze is leaning against said wall as Rob runs towards him. Rob goes for a running front kick before Haze moves out of the way, causing Rob to hit his foot against the wall.*

    Dudley: That kick would of broke MPHs back! Rob is trying to end Hazes career before it even gets started!

    *Haze turns Rob around and lands a few punches before Rob counters and hits one of his own that causes Haze to stagger back. Haze runs to a double door and opens it, trying to escape. Rob quickly follows.*

    Pat: Well, it looks like this fight isn't over yet but we have to continue with the show. We'll try to keep you posted on it as it continues. Back at ringside now…

    It’s Daniel Truth!

    *Daniel Truth makes his way to the ring with the Mayhem TV Title around his waist and a mic in his hand. He walks up to the steps and gets into the ring. He takes his Title off and rests it in the middle of the ring.*

    Daniel Truth: “Sandman, I’m sick of how you keep trying to screw up my life time and time again. You keep playing your sick Mind games with me... Well, I’m here to tell you that the time for words are over!! Now, it’s time for ACTION! I’m not putting up with your crap any longer! How about you come down to this ring so I can kick your ass!”

    Well, that was quick

    *The arena goes grey and smoke begins to fill it up thinly. The crowd goes silent as The Sandman’s theme is blaring around. As he finally makes his way down the ramp Daniel Truth looks on wearily from the ring. The Sandman finally gets into the ring as lightning begins to fill the arena and when he puts his hoodie down all the music stops. The arena is still grey, cold and smoke is everywhere.*

    Sandman: “Daniel Truth… you come out here acting as if unaffected from my musings recently. If you haven’t noticed, I call the shots on you. I have you so wrapped up in thought right now you don’t know whether you’re coming or going. And that makes it all the sweeter.”

    *He walks over to Truth.*

    Sandman: “You see this? *He taps the TV Championship.* Much like with you, I call the shots on this. I want it. I want my shot. With this Championship, I will be able to go to whomever I want to and take them out. All under JBW’s rules. With this Championship, none of the other six are safe from me. It won’t matter which show they’re on… if they’re on my list, I’ll be there.

    And there’s not one thing short of killing me that you’ll be able to do to stop me. I want you to think, Daniel Truth. Think long and hard on this…

    *The Sandman turns to walk out of the ring while Daniel Truth looks down at his Mayhem TV Title like it is his baby. He looks up and stares at Sandman while he shouts the words:*

    Daniel Truth: “YOU’RE ON!!”


    *Truth Drops his mic and engages in a full on stare off with The Sandman. Just like that The Sandman begins to beat up on Daniel Truth and throws him into the corner and begins to pound on him. The crowd pops though as Daniel Truth fights out of it, actually throwing Sandman in a corner. A stiff shot to the midsection by Sandman though gives him the edge once again, an he locks in the sleeper hold on Truth until Security comes out. With the security team’s pleas, Sandman walks away calmly. The trainers tend to Truth who’s sitting up holding his throat and looking on at The Sandman while he walksout.*

    Pat: Who in the hell is gonna stop Sandman? Man, you’re not gonna find a bigger Daniel Truth fan than myself, but I don’t know if he can beat Sandman, even with the champion’s advantage. I mean, this guy looks like he’s unstoppable right now. Of course I’m more or less talking to myself as Dudley is long gone. Speaking of whom, can someone tell him that the bad man has gone away now, and it’s time to be a big boy and do his job again. Anyway folks…Oh man, is everyone ready for another bit of awesomeness? Well you better be, because up next we have TFAOMAD part 2, and if part 1 was any indication of how part 2 is gonna be, then we are in for something special.



    'So, Dave, here it is.. The Strip!! Now, when you get older you can tell the grandkids you've been here!'
    'But we surely need to be getting on to finding Roman now?' Dave replied in his normal droning voice.
    'Lighten the fuck up, Dave, we're here in Sin City, and it's time to have a good time, and party like it was nineteen ninety nine, bruva!!' I told him. 'Look.' I continued. 'I'll call Chaz right now and put him on loud speaker so you can hear exactly what he says.'
    I scrolled down to C on my iPhones contact list and got to Chaz the Spaz; I pressed the screen, and it began to ring.
    'Hello, Ma$$, the story is still the same as it was five minutes ago.' Chaz said on the other end of the line.
    'Of course it is, you fool, if anything had changed you'd have phoned me, right? Right... I'm calling you so you can tell Dave exactly what you told me earlier, so shoot. You're on loudspeaker'
    'Ahh, I hate being on loudspeaker.' Said an irritated Chaz.
    To which I replied. 'Just fucking tell him, man!'
    'Well, my guy found him as soon as he got off of the plane, followed him back to his hotel. Since then he has just basically been strolling around the casinos signing autographs... To tell the truth, he's acting a bit weird.'
    'What, like visiting the gay bars?' Asked Dave, in a loud voice which received a few funny looks from some people passing by.
    'No, Dave, nothing of the sort, but he's being, um, nice to people. Now, I'm watching the last episode of Breaking Bad right now so if anything happens, I'll get back to you.' He said as he hung up the phone.
    'See, I told ya, Dave.' I said smugly, and continued. 'We've got Romes tracks covered like stink on shit! Now, let's go get a fucking beer, and see if we can't win a few chips to take back with us... Romes can wait for a bit.'
    I ignored his skeptical look, and phoned my buddy Sleeper, as he could probably point us towards a few local hotspots.


    Dudley: *scoffs* Local hot-spots. I.e. where pot head Mass can get a bag of something illegal. What a terrible role model for children!

    Pat: First of all, you’re assuming, second of all, when the hell did you even get back, third of all, Mass never asked to be a role model, and fourth of all, that was outstanding Mass! Dave, you were there too, so I guess you’re outstanding by association.

    Dudley: Ass-kisser. I tell ya, for as much crap as you give me about K-Jammin, you….
    WWE resigned Punk, and everything I've said has come true on these things, so WWE, keep Punk a badass face. He will become a legend if you do.


    JBW is so good, even the most cynical member of the IWC couldn't complain about it. Check out or most recent shows here!

    And join in on the discussion here. We will welcome you with open arms. Please join now by PMing me or WWTNA Mark!

    Horror movie tournament final: The Shining vs. Silence of the Lambs vs. Halloween...coming very soon.

  9. #539
    Pat: Wait a minute, Dudley. I'm being informed that the fight between Rob Rage and MPH is still going on backstage. Melissa is following it. Melissa, are they still fighting?

    *The camera cuts to backstage where it is shows Rage on top of Haze punching him in the face."

    Melissa: Yes Pat, they are still going at it and my god it has just gotten more aggressive.

    *Rage continues punching until Haze grabs a kendo stick, probably used at some point during the fight, that is beside him and hits Rage in the head with it. Rage rolls off and attempts to get up before Haze stands up and hits him in the back with the stick. He hits him a couple more times before the stick breaks and Rage falls to his stomach. Haze goes and grabs a chair. He lifts the chair up to attack Rage with it but Rage quickly gets up and punches Haze in the stomach before he can use it. Haze drops the chair and Rage grabs him by the hair. Rage takes him over to a table and starts pounding Hazes head into it. After four hits Haze slams his hands down on the table to stop the attack, turns around, and knees Rage in the gut. Haze lands a couple of punches and then pushes Rage into a door that is behind him. Haze pushes Rage to the side and opens the door. Haze then lifts up Rage, puts the upper half of Rages body in the other room where the door leads, and Haze starts slamming the door into Rages body. He does this three times before Rage stops the door and pushes the door into Hazes face. Haze staggers back, holding his nose, and falls to a knee. Rage then jets right towards Haze, drives his shoulder into Hazes gut, lifts Haze up onto his shoulder, and then slams Haze through the before mentioned table. Haze is still moving but on his back. Rage gets on top of Haze, and the debris from the table, and starts punching Haze again before the camera cuts back to the announce table*

    Dudley: Wow, that fight has gotten worse. Somebody needs to get them two split up before they destroy the entire backstage area.

    Pat: It has definitely gotten out of hand but we must get back to the show. Melissa will continue to follow it and inform us if it escalates.

    Match 4: Helmsley vs. RedDevilSativa

    Pat: Well here’s a match that we weren’t expecting.

    Dudley: Yeah, I’m getting word in now that since The Sleeper was unable to compete tonight, and Helmsley thus wasn’t booked, RedDevilSativa whined enough to somebody to get him in there. Apparently the ass-kicking from last week wasn’t enough for RDS.

    RedDevilSativa

    Mayhem’s Resident Jobber

    Pat: Here comes RedDevil, and yeah, there aint much to say about this guy right now. He hasn’t exactly lit it up in his career here, but a win tonight vs. Helmsley might kick him into gear.

    Helmsley

    One big ass Luchador

    Pat: Well, here’s Helmsley, and I gotta say, I might not exactly agree with what this guy has been doing as of late, but he’s someone who has turned his career around here. This big bully persona seems to have him more focused, and therefore he’s a thousand times more dangerous.

    Dudley: Those are my thoughts exactly, except I DO agree with what this guy has been turning into. Ever since he turned on his former partner and all around douchebag The Sleeper, he’s quickly becoming one of my favorites.



    Pat: This match is over, and it ended pretty much like we expected it to. With RedDevilSativa being squashed by Helmsley. Oh well this just isn’t right! Helmsley is now pounding on RDS after the match. C’mon! You’ve proved your point, now the match is over! This is a disgrace. When I think of what that guy is turning into…

    Brandon Smithson for the save!

    Pat: Yes! Yes!

    Dudley: What the hell is he doing out here?

    *Brandon Smithson runs down the ramp to make the save on Helmsley, and Helmsley wants no part of Smithson, and he runs out of the ring and up the ramp. Brandon Smithson checks on RDS and calls for a mic*

    Smithson: Helmsley, get your ass back here! I’m so sick of guys like you and Pauley Cadillacs thinking you can just do whatever the hell you want around here. I’m not gonna take it anymore. I’m gonna fight for what is right.

    *Smithson drops the mic and points and Helmsley, then he puts up his dukes, and then he points at himself, and apparently we’re gonna get a fight here. Helmsely steps through the ropes and it’s on. Both guys are getting some decent offence in and both hit some of their signatures on each other. Brandon Smithson has the upperhand now, and is focusing all his attention on Helmsley, so he doesn’t see Pauley Cadillacs coming down the ramp with a lead pipe. Pauley slides under the bottom rope and slams Brandon in the back of the head. It’s now a double team effort on Brandon, as RedDevil was nowhere near as kind to Brandon as he was to him, and scooted away the moment he could. Brandon Smithson is now out cold when Pauley kicks him out of the ring, grabs him by the foot, and heads to the back with Helmsley right behind him*

    Pat: Where the hell is Pauley taking Brandon?? See, this is why people rarely stand up for what’s right these days. Brandon Smithson does, and he gets royally fucked in the process. It sickens me I tell ya!

    Dudley: Yup, that’s why it’s easier to be a heel. You don’t have to stick up for your fellow colleagues, you can just look out for numero uno.

    Pat: If that’s the type of attitude it takes to fit in then I want to be a dork forever.

    Dudley: Well that shouldn’t be too hard.

    Pat: Says the man with a pocket protector and who rode a scooter to work today.

    Dudley: Hey scooters are very ecologically friendly!

    Pat: Yeah whatever, let’s see what we have up next. Ah, here we go, we’re gonna cut to the back now where the hottest one-eyed babe in the world, Suzi X, is standing by with Marie. This should be good.

    Suxi X: Hey thanks Pat! But I gotta correct you on one thing daddio, and that’s that I’m not the hottest one-eyed babe in the world, I’m the hottest babe in the world period. But I’m sure you’ll get it right next time. *winks err um, blinks, I don’t even know*Oh and I’m standing by with another fine piece of ass Marie. So tell me sugar, what’s the deal with you and Nikki Belzova? Are we gonna see a major league catfight soon?

    Marie: Oh we better see one soon. That bitch and her friend Polly better go start turning tricks under a bridge or something, cuz that’s all those little baldraccas are good for anyway. Nikki, at one time this may have been about you not showing off your Italian heritage with pride, but now it’s way more personal. You and your friend better watch your backs, because after I get done with you, you’ll want to hide that ugly face of yours, just like Nikki’s been hiding her culture since day 1 here. *spits on the ground* Stupid mignotta! *walks away*

    Suzi X: I don’t have to be able to speak Italian to know that this interview is kaput. Back to you two boy toys. *blows kiss to the camera*
    WWE resigned Punk, and everything I've said has come true on these things, so WWE, keep Punk a badass face. He will become a legend if you do.


    JBW is so good, even the most cynical member of the IWC couldn't complain about it. Check out or most recent shows here!

    And join in on the discussion here. We will welcome you with open arms. Please join now by PMing me or WWTNA Mark!

    Horror movie tournament final: The Shining vs. Silence of the Lambs vs. Halloween...coming very soon.

  10. #540
    Dudley: She called me her boy-toy. See, I told you she likes me! Little on the freaky side with the one eye and all, but I can handle that.

    Pat: You’re a strange, strange little man aren’t you Duds?

    Dudley: Oh shit! Melissa just informed me that the fight between MPH and Rob Rage, that has been going on backstage for a while now, is...

    Pat: Coming out towards the ring?

    Dudley: Yeah. How did you know?

    Pat: Because here they come.

    *The camera cuts to the stage and it shows Haze trying to crawl away as Rob closely follows with Melissa trying to stop Rage. Melissa is yelling "STOP!!" as Rage kicks Haze down the ramp. Melissa gets in front of Rage and says, "Stop! He has had enough!" Rage gently pushes her to the side and runs at Haze who is trying to get up. Rage grabs Haze and throws him against the side of the ring. Haze yells out in pain and falls in a seated position against the side of the ring. Rage then goes over and starts stomping on Haze as Melissa continues yelling, "Stop, Rob!!" Rob then picks up Haze and then throws Haze into some ring stairs back first.*

    Pat: Can anybody stop this? Rob Rage won't stop until Haze isn't moving anymore.

    *Rage goes to continue the attack but Melissa gets right in front of him and slaps Rob right in the face. Rob has an angered look on his face before Melissa puts her hands on his shoulders and says, "Rob, he has had enough. Don't make this any worse. Look at him, he can barely move. You won. Now please relax."*

    Dudley: Well, at least she is trying to reason with this psycho. If she wasn't talking to him , who knows what he would be doing to MPH right now.

    Pat: I don't think Melissa is really caring about MPHs well being, I think she is just trying to stop Rob before he does something he regrets.

    *Rage takes a few breathes before nodding his head. Melissa asks, "You good now?" Rob nodds his head yes. Rob then starts to walk towards the ramp before Haze comes up behind Melissa, grabs her by the sides and throws her as hard as he can at Rage. Melissas body hits Rage viciously and they both fall hard*

    Pat: Oh my god! What a cowardly move by Haze!

    Dudley: Damn, even I got to admit that was pretty underhanded.

    *Haze runs into the audience and runs quickly up the stairs, getting as much ground between him and Rage, while Rage is checking on Melissa who isn't moving. Haze is at the top of the stairs laughing while Rage looks at him with an angry crazed look on his face.*

    Pat: I tell ya, Rob Rage is gonna kill that dude once he gets his hands on him.

    Dudley: Shit.

    Pat: What’s your problem?

    Dudley: I just see what we have up next.

    Pat: Oh quiet you. What we have next is the awesomeness that is part 3 of TFAOMAD. I’ve heard from our tech team that this is the best part yet. Let’s hope their right! Enjoy.


    'Dave, wait here a minute, I'm just going for a piss.' I lied. 'And, by the way.. If anything happens, just check in here, and I'll catch up with you later.'
    'What's that supposed to mean?' Asked Dave, knowing that I was probably up to no good.
    'Man, just get the drinks in, your begining to sound like Kevin Mathews with all this whining!' I replied as I turned the corner, walked straight passed the bathroom, and out of the door. I took out my iPhone and called Chaz.
    'Hello.'
    'Hi Ma$$, can I call you back in a min-' He was saying before I cut him off.
    'Yeah yeah, Breaking Bad I know. Pause it. Look, you still got that chopper trailing us?' I asked sternly.
    'Of course I have. You and Dave wanna lift?'
    'Nah, I left Dave "Mathews" in the bar. I need to get some 'erb, and he's way too focused on getting Romes and getting out of here. To tell the truth, I think he's worried I'm gonna get him into trouble, so I've left him at The Sahara, and organized a brass to "chat him up" hahaha! I think he'll be alright'
    I looked up and saw the bird was hovering directly above me. As it began coming down towards me, a ladder began descending.
    When it was about five feet from within my reaching distance it stopped lowering, which irritated me slightly, but I crouched down and lept upwards. I grabbed the third to last rung and began climbing. Seeing this as an opportunity to get a little work out I climbed the entire ladder using just my hands.
    Once I reached the last rung, and pulled myself up on to the deck of the helicopter, that Chaz had follow us in case of emergency, I yelled to the pilot. 'Take me to The Point After, I have to meet a friend of a friend.'
    'Aye-Aye, Ma$$.' The driver yelled back.
    We began traveling towards our destination, and I took out my iPhone and began writing a few bars down on WritePad to pass the time.

    *

    I looked around, and couldn't see the guy Sleeps told me could hook me up with some weed. I was just about to phone Sleeps to cuss him, but I saw the guy I was looking for walk out of the bathroom. He obviously knew who I was because he shouted out across the room. 'Hey, everybody, look, it's Ma$$Dinero!!!'
    A few people had already noticed me, but this dude just made me a beacon for every fan boy in the house. A group of guys and girls, aged between around twenty one to thirty, approached me and began marking out.
    'Duuude, I can't believe it's you!! Maaan, I've got your albums, DVD's, and shoot interview with RF Video where you trashed Silver Cena!' One guy said wearing a suit and tie.
    'Hahaha!! Yeah, me and ol' Silv's are cool now, but I was pissed with him at the time. But, guys, it's been great talking to you.' I fibbed. 'But I've really gotta talk to someone. I'll tell you what, tell the barman the next rounds on me me.'
    'Flash bastard.'
    I turned around to see a tall fella, who was about six foot five, and roughly around three hundred pounds. He was also wearing a suit, but it was clear he thought he was somewhat of a tough guy. He stepped close to me, and looked down at me. Trying to stare a hole through me as he said. 'You're too short to be a wrestler.'
    I frowned slightly.
    'Oooh, what's the matter? Did I hit a nerve, shorty?'
    I took a quick look around, and once I was satisfied that there were no bouncers that could witness what I was about to do, I jumped up and headbutted him on the top of his skull. The sound it made even made me wince. A three inch split opened up and began pouring with blood, and he sunk to his knees in obvious agony.
    'Guys.' I said as I turned to his friends. 'Next rounds still on me.'
    They hooted and hollered as I went over to Sleepers friend who had the hook up.
    'Hey, esse, that was fucking awesome!!' The spicy looking fella said as I approached him. He shook my hand and I said. 'Look, after you've just caused that scene you need to be apologizing and getting me my fuckin' weed!'
    'Hey, amigo, I'm sorry; I'm just so pleased to meet you, and I must have got a leetle excited, man. But I can see your in a hurry, so let's go out back and sort this in the car.
    We did as he said, but just as he passed me the weed, the bouncer of the club came out the back door and was with the big guy who I had headbutted earlier.
    'There he is!' The man said as he pointed while he was holding a bloody towel to his forehead with his other hand.
    'OK, amigo, I gotta fly, but I'll get your number off'a Sleeps for when I'm next in town.'
    Before he could finish his reply I was out of the car, and the guy in the suit and the bouncer were sleeping on the concrete.
    I called Chaz, and he got the chopper to pick me up.
    It was time to do what I came for.
    'I'm gonna get yooouuu' I thought to my self as I was waiting for my lift.


    Dudley: Ughh I’m so glad we only have one more of these now. Man wouldn’t it be funny if he actually ends up finding Romes, and RomanFlare beats the piss outta him? HAHAHA. He’ll probably end up having to get mouth-to-mouth with some dude just to make it back alive! Now that would be an ending. It’d be worth having to sit through all of the other parts and a dozen more just to see Mass get his ass kicked.

    Pat: If RomanFlare could kick Mass’s ass, I’m sure he would, but he can’t, so he ran away to Vegas. That was the point of this whole thing. I have no idea how this epic yarn is gonna end, but you can bet your ass once Mass finds Romanflare, there’ll be hell to pay.
    WWE resigned Punk, and everything I've said has come true on these things, so WWE, keep Punk a badass face. He will become a legend if you do.


    JBW is so good, even the most cynical member of the IWC couldn't complain about it. Check out or most recent shows here!

    And join in on the discussion here. We will welcome you with open arms. Please join now by PMing me or WWTNA Mark!

    Horror movie tournament final: The Shining vs. Silence of the Lambs vs. Halloween...coming very soon.

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