Dudley: Well, I for one am glad he's gon-
*The lights go out and St George's music hits. *The crafty cockney stands at the top of the ramp with a spotlight on him, as the whole arena is in darkness, but the crowd give him a huge ovation.*
SG: Alright my china plates! *Right then, where are we going to start? I have a big announcement to make tonight... But first, lets talk about RAMPAGE OF THE TITANNNNS!!! That's right my Jabesters. What a show it was! I've got mixed feelings about the events that took place last night... But I'll rabbit about that later.
Now, first off let's rabbit about me, the guv'nor, winning the cockney cage match against Chainy babes. You see Chainy me old fruit gum, as much as a monster that you are, did you really think that you could beat me in a cockney cage match? I mean... Are you zsa zsa Gabor?! I invented this testing and gruesome gauntlet of a match, and I've not lost one yet! That's right folks... So here in the House of Jabe, I've fought two and won two... Making me an undefeated cockney legend... Hahaha... Maybe I'll start a streak?! *Anyways Chainy babes, I kicked your bottle glass so bad last night... Your gonna need some jack n jill's for the Rockford Files I gave ya! *It's over now Chainsaw. *I've proved to everybody, especially you, that I'm better... It ends now, finito.
But, and there's always a but. When something ends, something has to start.
*SG starts to walk down the ramp towards the ring, with the spotlight still following him*
Sg: I said earlier that I had announcement to make. *Well my chinas let's get to it! *Can I get some lights please?!!!!
As the lights come on George steps into the ring which has a cockney style bar in it, complete with bar stools and English flag bunting.
SG: welcome chinas... Welcome to COCKNEY CORNERRRRR!!!! *That's right, cockney corner is back here on Mayhem, with me, St George as your host!
*crowd start cheering COCK-NEY CORN-ER clap clap clap clap clap!*
SG: Thank you my chinas, thank you. *Now I have a few things I wanna rabbit about this week here on cockney corner, and the first item on the top of the list is... PSYCHO SIAKI!!!!
*The crowd go absolutely fookin nuts when Siaki's name is called, and the Siaki chants start*
SG: He's great isn't he?! Now last night Siaks proved to everybody that he's champ material by beating old "anal reform". Match over job done... V3 party here we come?! *Oh no, Baboon boy himself has to get involved and give Gay Rammin a fookin title shot. Siaks got arrested and was taken away to the slammer. *Me, Mass and Panda went to get our julius out, but he was refused bail. Still no word today either. I finding it a little hard to understand right now, so I'm gonna get my first guests out here to help me out. *Ladies & gentleman please welcome to cockney corner... My main julius' Massdinero and Pandamasacre!!*
*Mass and Panda walk out to a huge pop. But they both look pissed off to say the least. They enter the ring and knuckle bump George. They take a seat on the stools as George pours them a beer*
SG: There you go chinas, get ya laughing gear round that. *Now, we all saw it, and we're all feeling it today. Any news on Siaks?
Mass: Ahhh, I haven't had one of these for a while.
Panda: You had one before you came out here!
SG: So what you're saying is...
*The entire members of The Eye, barring RomanFlare, are standing at the top of the ramp. K-jamin holding the belt and taunting V3.
Mass: Come on then you bunch of fucking poomps!
*The Eye, barring K-Jammin, storm the ring and a huge fracas has broken out. *Bodies are flying all over the place. *But wait! Here's Chainsaw and he's carrying handcuffs! *He enters the ring where The Eye have overpowered V3, and starts to handcuff them to the ropes. *They are really starting to pummel V3 now, and Chainsaw is destroying the Cockney Corner set right in front of George. They beat on them for a minute, until they are all unconcious, Then Iron Ape beckons for his brand new champion to join them. The new World Heavyweight Champion K-Jammin with Lucy, looking even more smug than usua, walks down the ramp. A guy in the front row throws a plastic Coke bottle at him, and K-Jammin spits in his face! He climbs in the ring and hugs Iron Ape*
KJ:" JBW has been...saved *He raises the Championship Belt to receive tremendous boo's*. I am the NEW World Heavyweight Champion! Now, alot of people are wondering why I joined The Eye at ROTT, so let me tell you why. After me and Mass had match of the fucking century, hell froze over... as you people cheered me. It's funny, all I've ever wanted in this business are two things... money and respect, at that point I already had tons of money, and I finally had respect. But as I was standing there listen to you all chant The Great Saviour's name, I couldn't help but remember all the time's you people wanted my blood! You laughed at me, you mocked me, you said I would NEVER make it! and right there I decided, I have you people in the palm of my hand. I now had the perfect opportunity to fuck you all, and fuck you all I did. You see this guy *put's his arm around Ape* this guy recognized my talent, he knew I was the real deal, the bee's knee's, the main event, THE GREAT FUCKING SAVIOUR! He hand-picked me to be the World Champion, now I don't want people thinking I took a short cut by joining The Eye in order to be World Champion, it was always inevitable. Even if I didn't join The Eye, I would have been World Champion in the next month anyway. Just the thought of you people cheering me makes me fucking sick, you people are the most pathetic bunch of hypocritical pricks I have ever known. This goes to all of you, don't you EVER cheer, chant my name, make a sign with my name on again..."
*He stops talking as he see's a teenage boy in the front row with a sign reading "K-Jammin Rules" He confronts the boy*
KJ:" You think I need your fucking sign to let people know I rule, take a look kid... IM WORLD FUCKING CHAMPION! *Starts laughing at the boy* I don't want nor need your support you little spotty faced mug. You don't deserve to worship me *rips up the sign and throws it in his face*
*Climbs back in the ring*
KJ:" That goes for all of you, with the exception of Dudley and Roland. All I need is my gorgeous girlfriend, The Eye ... and this *Raises World Heavyweight Championship*
Pat: There you have it Ladies and Gentlemen, your new Mayhem World Heavyweight Champion..
Dudley: We're not worthy... We're not worthy... We're not worthy!
Pat: We'll see you next week everybody, thanks for tuning in JBW