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  1. #271
    Mayhem ep 25 7-20-11


    Pat: Live, from title town USA, we’re here in Green Bay Wisconsin, live as always. Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen, and welcome to the last ever Saturday Night Mayhem. Yep, thats right my fellow JBW fans... Mayhem is moving to Mondays!

    Dudley: Well, I for one am glad. I mean, who want's to work on a Saturday night?

    Pat: Not me.

    Dudley: I bet Straights and Ka$h are sick of it too.

    xStraightxEdgexSaviorx: Did someone just say my name?

    Kashdinero: Yeah, I'm sure I heard my name too, Straights.

    Pat: OH MY GOD!! It's Mayhem writers xStraightxEdgexSaviorx and Kashdinero!! Oh my freaking lord!!! This is unprecedented! This must be the BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!

    Dudley: We'll they're smiling so that makes me feel a little bit better. But WHAT THE F&#K are they doing here? I thought moving to Minday nights was the big announcement.

    *Kash,casually dressed in Armani jeans, a pair of classic Nike Air Max 3, and a "free the weed" t-shirt, and Straights, wearing his sXe tee-shirt and a nice pari of khakis enter the ring.*

    Straights: Wow... I never thought I'd see the day when I'd step foot in this ring, but this announcement is so good, Kash and I just had to tell you about it... Kash, why don't you start at the begining.

    Kash: Well, back when I was just Straights' bitch, fetching him cups of coffee and... I'm kidding. See, it's like this. For the longest time I have always wanted to see JBW's finest go at it in a King of the Deathmatches type scenario, but with a sick and horrific twist, so I pitched it to Mr Savior, right here.

    Straights: And I imediately loved this idea, and we began working our hardest to get this thing off the ground.

    Kash: And heres the breakdown, people, check out this video, made by my good buddy, Rated_R(ob)KO..


    *but before the video can air*

    Is that RomanFlare... Oooh, things just got interesting

    Rome: Cut it! Cut my music, cut their mic's! CUT IT!

    *Rome strolls out onto the middle of the stage, carrying a chair. He unfolds the chair, sits upon it, and crosses his legs in a half-Indian style. The lights dim, and a spot light appears on Rome and also in the ring.*

    Rome: I’ve been “nice” about this. I’ve suggested that you shouldn’t do this idea, I said “Think of the risk you’re putting our property through”. I’ve even offered you something in return for not going through with this idea. And when you were too brainless to see that I was right, I played hardball. I secretly campaigned behind your backs, pulling in favors to help squash this very idea into the ground. JBW doesn’t need “refuse wrestling”—that’s garbage wrestling, to the inbred audience. But, seeing as this idea has been surely approved, it seems that I’m going to have to bust a few people over the head for cheating me. But here I am, like the nice guy that I am. I will ask you politely one last time. End this idea.

    Straights: Whoa, whoa, whoa, "Mr Showdown" *crowd laugh and pop*. Just who the fuck do you think you are talking to me and Kash like that on OUR FUCKING SHOW!

    Kash: Tell, 'im, SESSY!! Romes... Whether you like it or not, it's happening, and seeing as you have been bitching a moaning for, like, ever about this, Straights and I thought we'd give you the oppurtunity to do something about it physically, because like it or not we have booked YOU to enter this tournament.

    Rome: Well, If you’re not going to end this willingly, then I will have no problem with forcibly ending it. You see, I’m a man of the people! I know what’s best for these backwoods folk—these swine, thee. And I promise that when it’s all over, my foot will be in your asses. Both of them—one foot. You can decide who goes first.

    Kash: Whatever, Romes... Now, if your finished, we can show these fine people R(ob)'s fine video and get on with the rest of the show.

    Straights: Will someone just play the damn video, please!


    (WATCH THIS FUCKING AWESOME VIDEO OR A SAD PANDA WILL CRY)

    *the crowd is shown going ballistic over the sight of this grizzly event*

    Romes: You see people, this is madness, I-

    Straights: Is that fear, Roman?

    Romes: Fear? I will crush the life out of those sick freaks without working up a sweat!

    Kash: I think this guy would disagree. Someone who I invited to the tournament personally.


    *The lights go out and the arena is pitched in to darkeness. Before one person can get out their lighter the lights are back on, and standing next to Straights and Kash is NightWolf!! The crowd goes nuts!*

    NightWolf: You made the right choice, Kash! See I am the best thing running here in JBW, and when I make my debut at Horrorcore Icons I will without a doubt come out of this victoriously. There is another side to wrestling that is a bit.... extreme. This side of wrestling is right up my alley. When I was touring Germany I found somebody who was willing to teach me the art of pain endurance. My body has been trained to withstand chair shots, slams, and so forth. If you can think of it... It will not hurt me! I am the most dangerous force going into this pay per view so I suggest that you guys should reserve whatever energy you can. Because you are going to need it when you go up against me! But either way... The future is already written on the wall of fate. None of you will successfully escape my wrath! The only thing that is written in all of your futures is a hospital visit.

    -NightWolf looks at Roman and laughs-

    Lets face the facts here... Roman.. You are a pretty big deal.. You are very gifted an you really have your work cut out for you. The only problem is that you lack the judgement that makes a main eventer. Winning the Horrocore Championship is one of the biggest honors that can be bestowed upon any man. You went through the pain, sweat, tears, and blood! An if you win you are going to retire the championship? I will not allow it!! The fans would hate it... An I strive to keep them entertained an happy! I am going after you Roman. You are officially my first prey and I will strike you down when you least expect it. So keep your eyes peeled an keep your ears free of any sort of plug. I would hate for you to get caught off guard. 'Cause that would not be very fair now would it?

    -NightWolf leaves the ring, crawls over the barricade and is surrounded by the audience as he continues to speak.-

    Whos knows! I might even do the same thing that Roman plans on doing if I win the match. Only time will tell. I might blow it up, I might throw it into an ocean, or I could just place that tight ass belt around my waist an wear it with pride! You will just have to tune in an see where it goes. For now I will see you guys in the future. It is time for this Wolf to vanish into the night. AWHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

    *NightWolf walks off into the crowd, while Kash and Straights give each other a nervous look, which was probably caused by the last part of NightWolfs promo. Romes just throws his hands up in the air and walks off in disgust.*

    Pat: Oh dear.. This is going to be a night we will all never forget. How about those names though? The Sandman? Silva? These guys they might as well just picked up off the nuthouse and threw them into matches with our wrestlers! This thing is gonna be huge. Scary, violent, disturbing, and huge.

    Dudley: Amen to that.

    Pat: What was that?

    Dudley: Nothing. What have we got next, Pat?
    WWE resigned Punk, and everything I've said has come true on these things, so WWE, keep Punk a badass face. He will become a legend if you do.


    JBW is so good, even the most cynical member of the IWC couldn't complain about it. Check out or most recent shows here!

    And join in on the discussion here. We will welcome you with open arms. Please join now by PMing me or WWTNA Mark!

    Horror movie tournament final: The Shining vs. Silence of the Lambs vs. Halloween...coming very soon.

  2. #272
    Pat: Well up next we have to tell the people what we have in store for the tonight. First of all, we the second round of the much anticipated TV title tournament, and we know that gets us all excited. We’ll also have Psycho Siaki and RomanFlare’s contract signing for the title.

    Dudley: Plus the diabolical, unstoppable Chainsaw will once again be in action tonight.

    Pat: Don’t forget about the match between Nikki Belzova and Lucy! But up first we’re gonna kick things off with the TV title tournament second round match!

    Match 1 Daniel Truth vs. Anomander Rake

    Daniel Truth
    Theme: Reverse this Curse
    Pat: Daniel Truth makes his way to the ring to a great reaction from the crowd here tonight and this guy has a great chance to possibly change your mind Dudley.

    Dudley: No way Pat. This guy screams loser to me, no matter what happens out there.

    Pat: So even if he beats your boy Anomander here you still won’t buy into him?

    Dudley: That’s a mute point Pat. There’s no way he’s getting past Anomander. If I would trust you to pay up I’d bet my house on it.

    Pat: Now wait a minute, isn’t it you who still owes me…

    Dudley: Quiet you, Truth is about to speak.

    Pat: Smh.

    Truth: Hello Green Bay, I want to talk tonight about my chances in the mayhem TV tournament. So people have doubted that I will make it very far in this thing (stares at Dudley). Some have even gone so far as to doubt I will beat Anomander Rake. Let me tell you, I am going to kick that freak’s arse tonight. *crowd pops* You see I am an underdog. I like to fly under people’s radar and catch my opponents off guard, and as long as I have all my fans support I will continue to win. Oh and Dudley, get ready to kiss a donkeys ass because I’m going to win the tournament if it kills me.

    Anomander Rake
    Theme song: Dark Ritual
    Pat: Anomander Rake makes his way out to ringside, and he’s…

    Dudley: Now wait a minute, I wanna address that little punk in the ring right now. Who the hell does he think he is? Let me tell you one thing, if he doesn’t stop running his mouth about Anomander Rake then this tournament might kill him.

    Pat: Anomander is in the ring and this match is underway!



    Pat: Daniel Truth wins AGAIN. Wow what a match. Whatever my colleague Dudley has to say about the guy, Daniel Truth has proved himself to me even if he doesn’t win the tournament. We’re gonna cut to commercial break now, but we’ll be right back with more Mayhem!

    Pat: We’re back from commercial now and we cut to the back where Iron Ape is shown in his office talking on the phone.

    Ape: Are you sure about this?....Yeah I know we talked about this last week, but….Yeah I know……Alright, alright, fine. Let me make a call real quick and he’ll be out there.

    Pat: I wonder what that was all about…Anyway, right now guys we have a…

    Of-screen voice: (on a mic) Excuse me.

    Pat: Woah, what the hell? Oh no…

    *Silva is shown walking down the ramp, escorted by about a half dozen security guards as he steps through the ropes. Parents are being shown hiding their crying children as Silva speaks*

    I have something I need to say. Last week I was watching the show and I heard *twitches* Chainsaw say he was interested in me. He wants me to face one of his Apostles at Rampage of the Titans. I know everyone here hates me, I know that everyone is scared I’m gonna do something crazy, but I’m not a bad person. I’m not. Just…no one..no one understands me! Chainsaw wants to kill me, and I know that’s probably what all you guys want to see now, but *twitches*I’m a good person. I don’t deserve to be killed. All I wanna do is find my mother, and now Chainsaw is gonna kill me. HOW IS THAT FAIR? I don’t want any part of this Chainsaw, please leave me alone. Thank you..*starts to leave, but…*

    *Chainsaw appears on the Jabetron and speaks*

    Chainsaw: Oh Silva, I don’t want to hurt you at all. Quite on the contrary in fact. I want you to join me. I want you to be one of my Apostles. You see Silva, like you, I am misunderstood. You said no one understands you Silva, well you’re wrong. I understand you. The same pain you feel every day of your life, the same anguish, the same frustration, it’s all been inflicted on to me as well. These people *points around to the crowd* those fools in the back, the people watching at home…they aren’t like us Silva.

    Silva: There is no “us.” We are completely different Chainsaw! You’re an evil man!

    Chainsaw: YOU’RE WRONG! You…are…wrong Silva. We are the same, you just don’t know it yet. Just listen to me. These people, the ones who have picketed outside your jail-cell, the ones with the constant threats of violence against you, the ones who fear and hate you, they do the same to me. All my life I have been tortured by their ignorance, I have suffered because they fail to understand me. Just think about it for a second Silva. Why do you think I’ve singled you out? There are many men out there Silva, why do you think I’ve chosen you?

    Silva: *weeping* Because you hate me. Just like the rest of them!

    Chainsaw: No. They hate you, they fear you. They do so because they know deep in their hearts that you are special. YOU are special and THEY are nothings, and they despise you for it just like they despise me. They want to hurt you Silva, they want to hurt you just like I was hurt before I figured out on my own what I just told you. At long last I finally figured it out, I figured out why I was being singled out by them, and from that point on there has been nothing that could stop me. I’ve had everything I’ve ever wanted from that point on. And I know there is something that you’ve wanted for a very long time. If you could just allow me to help you reach your full potential, you could get what you want.

    Silva: My….mom?

    Chainsaw: *smiles* Yes Silva, your mother. If you were to join me, if you were to allow your own true power to come forth, than I could help you find her. All you have to do is beat one of the Apostles at Rampage of the Titans, and you are not only in the company, but you’re also a part of the most dominating group in the history of the world. Whatever you could possibly want, we will get it you. Do you understand now why this is so important Silva? Do you understand now why I need you to take part in this match against one of my minions? It is to help you. Please Silva, accept me as your Sheppard so I can guide you past these nothings you see before you. Help me turn you into greatness Silva.

    Silva: *thinks* I…accept…master *bows*

    Chainsaw: *smiles wickedly* Good.


    Pat: That is just plain evil in every sense of the word. Chainsaw is preying on the mind of a sick and dangerous man! Makes me sick to my stomach. The ring is cleared now when…

    Wait a minute, who the fuck is that?
    Pat: A well dressed Italian man with his hair slicked back makes his way out to ringside with a beautiful looking young lady walking hand in hand with him down the aisle. The fans don’t know what to make of this guy just yet. He steps through the ropes, and, wow, what class; he just held the ropes open for his lovely looking lady friend. He's been handed a mic. This should be good.

    So, you people don’t have any idea who I am do you? That’s alright, you will soon. My name is Pauley Cicero, and this beautiful piece of woman standing next to me goes by the name Marie Piscatelli. Friends call me Pauley Cadillacs, but I’m not here to make friends so you can all call me The Don. Who I am and who my lovely darling Marie is doesn’t matter right now though. What matters is why I’m here. Well *crowd interrupts by chanting “the-shore-rip-offs! clap clap clapclapclap the-shore-rip-offs! clap clap clapclapclap,” to which Pauley is seen biting his lip* As I was saying, I’m here for two reasons, the first of which being this. I’ve watched JBW from the start. You people around here, you’ve signed guys from Mexico, England, Australlia, New Zealand, Canada, all across the world people are being singed here. Except there’s just one denomination that someone around here must have forgotten about. You don’t have a single Italian competitor in this entire company. The SALT of this beautiful country we live in *a good portion of the crowd actually pops*, and not one fucking Italian guy in the whole company. Oh, and you people who were cheering me, and those of you who are sitting on your hands, you’re just as big a fucking problem as anything. *crowd boos* Yeah, yeah, *does the “jerk-off” sign” go fuck your mothers. The point is, WWTNA Mark is prejudice against the Italian people, that much is clear, and you people have been supporting his decisions week in and week out by making his pockets fatter. WWTNA Mark gets richer and richer every week, while the Italian people are out there struggling with no one to root for. No one they can call their own. Well that all changes now. I am your hero now. Marie is your heroine now. You finally have a man in this industry who you can be proud to call your idol, and that man is me. You don’t have to sit there and root for little fucks like Robbie E or that little fat hooker he brings along with him while they spit in your faces. Oh, and that brings me to reason number two why I’m here. It’s people like those no-good guinea pricks in TNA who give us hard working Italian people a bad name. It’s people like those retards from the fuckin Jersey Shore who make those in charge hesitant to hire people like me or Marie even though we’re clearly more talented than anyone you can bring up.
    Last edited by xStraightxEdgexSaviorx; 08-21-2011 at 06:27 AM.
    WWE resigned Punk, and everything I've said has come true on these things, so WWE, keep Punk a badass face. He will become a legend if you do.


    JBW is so good, even the most cynical member of the IWC couldn't complain about it. Check out or most recent shows here!

    And join in on the discussion here. We will welcome you with open arms. Please join now by PMing me or WWTNA Mark!

    Horror movie tournament final: The Shining vs. Silence of the Lambs vs. Halloween...coming very soon.

  3. #273
    Pauley: I’m here to restore the once great Italian heritage to what it was. I’m here not only for me, but for my people. I’ll show you all just how powerful, *points to his temple* just how intelligent, just how valuable an Italian American can be. And if WWTNA or anyone else has a problem with that, well, lets just say I don’t think that would be a wise move. I’m not trying to say anything, but maybe some guys I’m connected with come in and mob your little show here. Maybe I come in and take over your entire company. Give you an offer you can’t refuse so to speak.*scoffs* You know, in this industry, there’s a saying that guys should always strive to grab the brass ring. You gotta get that brass ring while you can or you’re in trouble. Well, the only ring I see around here is around my finger, and the closest any of you cock-suckers in the back will ever get to grabbing it, is if you come out to this ring and kiss it. Come on Marie, let's blow this joint. We got our point across. This "little talking to" is finito *drops the mic and leaves the ring.*

    Pat: Wow. What a strong debut for this guy huh Dudley?

    Dudley: My new favorite JBW wrestler!

    Pat: Figures…


    Match 2 Brandon Smithson vs. Chris Parker

    Chris Parker
    Theme Music: I aint your savior
    Pat: Chris Parker’s music hits and he makes his way down the ramp, getting an alright reaction to the crowd. Dudley, this match right here is against two former tag-team partners, so these guys know each other well. Who do you think has the advantage here?

    Dudley: Former partners or not, this is a match in the tournament to crown the new TV champion. These guys should be going all out in the match right now, and I don’t think Brandon Smithson has enough of a mean streak to do that. Parker has the advantage here in my opinion.
    *Parker grabs a mic and speaks*

    So, it’s come down to this. Brandon, you and me in the middle of the ring. For weeks now you’ve been trying to tell me what to do, give me all sorts of advice on what I should be doing. Like what I’ve done in my career hasn’t been good enough. Well, if I remember correctly me, you and Eric Bischoff had a match last week. I think it was me who came out on top in that one. Well, that’s exactly what’s gonna happen right now. Me and you are gonna step into the ring together, and I will come out victorious. I mean look Brandon, I like you, I really do, but your claim to fame in this company has been getting beat by Psycho Siaki and K-Jammin. For too long I’ve been messing around with you Brandon. It’s time to put you behind me and move on to bigger and better things. That starts with the TV title, and I aint gonna win that by talking, so get your crazy ass on out here and let’s do it.

    Brandon Smithson
    Theme song: Give Peace a Chance
    Pat: Brandon Smithson makes his way to the ring to a huge pop from the crowd, and it looks like we know who the crowd will be rooting for.

    Dudley: The crowd doesn’t know any better Pat. What Chris said was actually 100% true. I’m starting to like that guy actually.

    Pat: This one is underway!


    Pat: Brandon Smithson has done it! He won the match! Wow does Parker look mad at himself at that one. He blew a golden opportunity. Nevertheless, Smithson advances to round 3 in the semi-finals. He has to be amongst the favorites to win it all now. We’re gonna cut backstage to Iron Ape’s office, where he has No Bitch Assness and Shockmaster standing by.

    Iron Ape: Alright boys, I obviously called you in here for a reason, so let me get right to the point. I’m running out of…umm, well, your type to face Chainsaw, so it’s gonna be one of you two again. It’s nothing personal, but it’ll keep him happy. A happy Chainsaw is a less dangerous Chainsaw. I’m sure you two know that, so you must think of the greater good. So, you’re gonna be drawing straws to see who has to be in the match.

    *Iron Ape holds out two straws, and both men take one. Unluckily for him, Shockmaster picks the short one, something that makes NBA get a big time smile on his face*

    NBA: Shock my man, you just have no luck at all, do you? *puts his hand on Shock’s shoulder gleefully*

    Shock: Get your damn hands offa me! *angrily pushes No Bitch Asnness’s hand off of him*

    NBA: *aggressively pushes Shockmaster, who proceeds to tumble. In mid fall, Shockmaster grabs wildly in the air, knocking over some important looking papers on Iron Ape’s desk* Hahaha. Clumsy fool!

    Ape: Hey! Just for that little showing, you’re BOTH in the match against Chainsaw. Two on one tonight. Now get the FACK outta here!


    *Shock and NBA scurry off as Iron Ape has a stern look on his face*

    Pat: Add that match to the card. No Bitch Assness must be kicking himself right now! We’re gonna cut to commercial break, but we’ll be right back

    **commercial break**

    Pat: Back from commercial now and we’re gonna cut backstage now where apparently Roland Butter has something to show us. Roland?

    RB: Mayhem fans it is my task to introduce the next segment, for it involve's myself and the Mayhem World tag team champions...The Silver Bros...

    ******
    *(continuation of last week) Roland, SilverLace, and Silverdust pull up in the golfcart to the airport*

    Lace: So where are we off to first bro?

    Dust: Haha. That’s real funny.

    Lace: Why is that funny?

    Dust: It’s funny because I asked you to figure out the itinerary weeks ago for this. You’re telling me you didn’t do it?

    Lace: Well I can’t do everything around here.

    Roland: *mumbles something unintelligible*

    Dust: We’re gonna continue this discussion later Lace. Now you *turns to Roland* what the hell did you just say?

    Roland: I said we should go to WWE first. They’re the top dog besides Jabe, why not them?

    Dust: This is why no one asked you in the first place Roland. We’re looking for real tag teams, not two jobbers who they don’t have anything for thrust together. Lace, where should we go first?

    Lace: TNA. They at least have Beer Money still.

    Dust: All the way down to Orlando just for Beer Money?

    Lace: They’ll know where to find the Young Bucks as well, and maybe the Machine Guns are finally healthy, and their just keeping them off TV as a team. They’ll know where to find The Young Bucks as well. All of those guys are eligible bachelors to me!

    Dust: Fine. Orlando it is then. Give them the bags Roland.


    *Roland, stumbling with all the luggage The Silver Bros are making him carry, puts the bags on the scanner for the Airport staff to check*

    Dust: Alright, so how are we gonna approach these guys Lace? Should we try to provoke them, or come at them all friendly like?

    Lace: Provoke them. We’re not gonna go anywhere playing nice with these tools.

    Airport employee: Umm sirs, do you mind coming with me?

    Dust: Can’t you see we’re busy!

    Airport employee: *waves to three cops and a man in a suit* I’m afraid I must insist.

    Roland: Oh God I’m going to jail aren’t I?

    Dust: Why would you go to jail dumbshit? Look, officers, we didn’t do anything. Why is there an issue?

    Employee: *pulls out a book from SilverLace’s bag entitled “Explosives For Dummies: How to make a bomb from house hold appliances”*

    Dust: What the hell is wrong with you Lace!?!


    *before Lace can respond, he, Roland, and Dust are all escorted into a private room by the 4 policeman, a room in which the camera is not being allowed in. We do however catch up with them as they are leaving said room. As the men head back into the public view, they are all walking with a significant limp, and all of them have very disgruntled looks on their faces. Except for Lace that is, who is absolutely beaming*

    Dust: I should kick your ass right here Lace!

    Lace: Now hold on, don’t you guys have a bucket-list?

    Roland: Why would you have getting a cavity search on your bucket-list?

    Dust: Don’t answer that, answer this: WHY WOULD YOU DRAG US INTO IT! We’re on a plane every week Lace. You could have done it when we weren’t traveling all together!

    Lace: Oh yeah…well, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

    Dust: You’re an idiot. You’re lucky were not being kicked out of our damn flight. This whole thing could’ve been ruined.

    Lace: Well it wasn’t, so stop yelling at me. 

    Dust: Come on, our flight is boarding now.


    **to be continued**

    ******

    RB: OK, I'm back after that terribly embarrassing video, and I'm here with none other than the fastest rising star in JBW, my hero, "The Great Saviour" K-Jammin...

    RB: K-Jammin, last week you and...

    KJ: I've decided I like you Roland, so im allowing you to call me K-Jam

    RB: Wow thanks K-Jam! Now last week you and Lucy defeated MassDinero and PandaMassacre in a tag match, what has the reaction by the fans been to your win?

    KJ: Oh my days, Roland man, all week I've had people fucking crying at me saying im pretty much Satan for screwing there hero Mass. First of, I didn't screw Mass! I had no idea my psychotic ex girlfriend was gonna' come out and interfere, and also I would have one anyways, because im that fucking good Mr.Butter

    RB: I see, and alot of people have been wondering how much longer this feud with you and Mass will continue to go on for, when do you see this rivalry ending?

    KJ: It ends when I get respect, now excuse me Roland but I have a statement I need to make.
    Last edited by xStraightxEdgexSaviorx; 08-21-2011 at 06:29 AM.
    WWE resigned Punk, and everything I've said has come true on these things, so WWE, keep Punk a badass face. He will become a legend if you do.


    JBW is so good, even the most cynical member of the IWC couldn't complain about it. Check out or most recent shows here!

    And join in on the discussion here. We will welcome you with open arms. Please join now by PMing me or WWTNA Mark!

    Horror movie tournament final: The Shining vs. Silence of the Lambs vs. Halloween...coming very soon.

  4. #274
    Pat: Back at ringside now…

    Eric Bischoff is here!
    Pat: Eric Bischoff makes his way out to ringside with a mic in his hands. Eric speaks

    Well ladies and gentleman, it’s time for your main event of the evening!! Oh, wait, that’s right, someone had to go and quit. It’s all just as well though, because I would’ve beaten Sleeper so badly that he wouldn’t be able to show his face in public anymore. Well, he never did anyway with that silly little mask, but that’s besides the point. The point is, all he did was speed up his departure. Anyway, in a way I’m actually disappointed that I won’t be competing tonight, but then again, a guaranteed free pass into the semi finals of the TV title tournament aint bad either. And let’s face it, it’s pretty much a free pass into the finals as well. Daniel Truth? Really? That’s the best Mayhem can offer up to it’s one and only Hall of Famer? Haha. That’s okay. After Daniel Truth, it’s straight away to the finals, and then with Eric Bischoff as your new TV champion. I’ll say it again, because you guys better get used to hearing it, Eric Bischoff, your NEW TV champion. Ahh yes, it already has a nice ring to it. Well I’ve said my piece so if no one wants to come out and try to make a name for themselves, then I think I’ll be on my way. *drops the mic and heads out of the ring*

    Pat: Car park. Melissa Mendez. No prizes for guessing whats about to happen.

    Melissa: That's right Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm here once again waiting for everyones favourite conspiracy theorists, V3. We was meant to open the show with them but for some reason they are a bit late.... Oh, wait, here they are n- No, it can't be.. *stiffles giggle*.. Ladies and Gentlemen, I think this is V3?!?!



    *Looking somewhat uncomfortable, and a little embarrassed Mayhem World Heavyweight champion Psycho Siaki steps out, followed by an equally as embarrassed Ma$$Dinero and a positively livid PandaMassacre AKA Nikki Belzova... But no St George. Despite George being absent the crowd are still popping like it was new years eve!*

    Melissa: Hi, guys, erm, nice mode of transport you have chosen this week.

    Panda: See, I fucking told you, you assholes! I knew they would make fun of us!!


    *Panda runs over to the bright pink hummersine and begins kicking it, making considerable dents in one of the doors. She then tears off the left wing mirror and launches through the windscreen with an almighty crash!*

    Siaki: Easy, Panda, calm down, Melissa was just playing.

    Ma$$: Yeah, you know who else was just playing? Saint-fookin-George, thats who!

    Melissa: Playing? He's not even here, how could he be playing? I don't understand.

    Siaki: No, dear, I don't imagine you do.

    Panda: Merde! Why do you think we turned up in this pink pile of shit? For fun? No. It's because George the bastard thought it would be funny!

    Ma$$: He was all like, "Don't you worry, my chinas, I've got your transport covered tonight.".. So anyway, there we were at the Hilton, waiting all patiently like.

    Melissa: By waiting patiently, do you mean smoking blunts?

    Ma$$: Ahh, Mel, you know your just jealous. Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, well we waited and..

    Siaki: We waited...

    Ma$$: And waited...

    Panda: And fucking waited!!! And then this peice of shit turned up!! *Runs over to the bright pink hummersine again and gives it one last kick for good measure!*

    Siaki: Obviously Ma$$ had given all of his drivers the night off, and being a guy with waaay too many morals for someone who doesn't "give a fuck", he refused to call any of them to come pick us up, and being the stuborn bastard that I am, I refused to call one of my drivers...

    Ma$$: And we bit the bullet an-

    Melissa: But what about Panda's drivers?

    Ma$$: Would you drive that mad woman? Haha, I didn't think so.

    Melissa: Well, it seems that even though he isn't here tonight, George is still making his presence felt... Good for him I sa-


    *Melissa is cut off by a glare from Panda*

    Melissa: Well, um, OK, ahem.. Panda, dare I ask you your feelings on your match with Lucy tonight?

    Panda: Of course you can.

    Melissa: Erm, well, what are your thoughts on the match tonight with Lucy?

    Panda: That deseased troll better bring her fucking A-Game, because the embarrassment of turning up in a PINK FUCKING HUMMERSINE will be taken out on her pasty white ass in that ring tonight. *Runs back to the pink hummersine and rips off the other side mirror and smashes the passenger window!*

    Melissa: Wow! Um, Ma$$?

    Ma$$: If your thinking about asking me about how do I feel about losing to K-Jasmine last week, Mel, then the answer is this.. Pretty fucking shitty. I let a guy who's balls have barely dropped get the better of me, and it made V3 look like fools. Getting distracted by some freaked out cocksucker was not part of the game plan. But that was last week, Mel, please trust me this week will play out differently. After Panda crushes Lucy in a scene that some viewers at home may find disturbing, I'm gonna go catch me a K-Jam, rip off his head, take a nice long refreshing shit down his neck, and wipe my arse with his fake Georgio Armani suit!

    Melissa: Wow! Um, Siaks, maybe a few words about RomanFlare?

    Siaki: The biggest event in wrestling history is right around the corner and it looks like its going to be me and the Tampon Kid, Roman Flare.. *the crowd begins to laugh and start chanting tampon kid* Thats right people the Tampon Kid himself, and I cant wait to get my hands on the sonbitch.. This is the very guy who hit me in the face with a blunt object when I had Chainsaw's punk ass broken in pieces.. I know you dont want to see me with this title Mr. Tampon and now its your chance to take it from me.. Oh believe it isnt going to be an easy task either brotha.. Welcome to the top of Mount Vesuvius where I hold JBW's greatest glory, but see climbing to the tippy top of this mountain is just a travel choice, it is not the struggle.. The battle begins now right here on top of Vesuvius, this is no ordinary mountain either bruv, this is one active Volcano and its about to be awaken at Rampage Of The Titans.. This will be your struggle, let me rephrase that, this will be the beginning of our struggle Tampax Master Roman.. If there would be anybody in the JBW that I would love to face it would be you homie.. You may be a pompous whiney little shit with a mask on, but you're one technical whiz in the ring and thats what I cant wait to face.. You see I look to face the best in our business and Ive defeated the best in all scopes of battle, whether it was Professional Wrestling, MMA, or anywhere the fight is.. I am not only defending this title but i am defending my history as one of the most decorated fighters in the world.. So bring it on Roman, bring anyone along with you, we could all collide as the titans did in ancient mythology.. But remember one thing, I will not hesitate on killing you in this ring, it all depends on how far you wanna take this Tamps.. We have a clean battle, the respect is there.. You wanna play dirty, ill dig my fingers through one of your eyeballs and you can have a nifty one eyed mask that could sell like your shirts..

    Mel: And what can we expect from you're contract signing later on tonight?

    Siaki: Mel, you know how these things go. Pen to paper ends with fist to jaw, it's simple mathematics.

    Ma$$: Anyone got a calculator? Hahaha!! Mel, have you seen Dave?

    Mel: I believe he is scheduled to interview Shockmaster and NoBitchAssness in a bit.

    Ma$$: OK, guy's, I'm a catch up with Dave-O and I'll meet ya at the secret locker room.


    *The group splits and Melissa is once again alone*

    Melissa: Back to you, Pat.

    Pat: Well, Melissa was right, we’re gonna cut to the back now where Dave is standing by with No Bitch Assness and Shockmaster

    Dave: Ladies and gentleman, we are joined by The Shockmaster and NoBitchAssness. Now we understand that you...

    *K-Jammin sneaks up and punches Dave in the back of the head. POW*

    KJ: Davey boy, when did you get out of hospital! *kicks him in the face* I really want to apologise for what happened a few weeks ago ... hold on a sec, Shockmaster can you fuck off! thanks, you got your wish didn't you Dave *Punch* Mass beat me at Wembley *Punch*
    Happy now are ya'? *Punch*


    *K-Jammin picks up Dave by the throat and slams him against the wall, he's eyes are now inches away from Dave's and has the look of fury on his face*

    KJ: Beating you up last time worked perfectly, it made Mass angry! Therefore he was less focussed for our match at Wembley, and I would have won if it wasn't for Panda interfering, now I want to make him angry again which unfortunately for you means you will be eating shitty hospital food again for the next two weeks.

    *K-Jammin picks up a steel pole off the floor, and starts practising his swing ready for Dave's face when Ma$$ comes out of nowhere and tackles K-Jam to the floor where he lands a few good punches before he is dragged off by security.*

    Ma$$: Me and you, you little cunt! Me and you tonight. One on one. No, wait, seeing as you like to pick on Dave backstage, hows about you try picking on him in the ring tonight? Me and Dave against you and your new, ond only, friend Roland "The fat fucking pu$$y" Butter!

    KJ: What, no way, I'm tagging with Rola-

    Ma$$: Don't be a poomps; man up, and be in that ring with fat boy tonight, bitch.


    *Ma$$ helps Dave to his feet and the walk off screen leaving K-Jam looking a bit concerned.*
    WWE resigned Punk, and everything I've said has come true on these things, so WWE, keep Punk a badass face. He will become a legend if you do.


    JBW is so good, even the most cynical member of the IWC couldn't complain about it. Check out or most recent shows here!

    And join in on the discussion here. We will welcome you with open arms. Please join now by PMing me or WWTNA Mark!

    Horror movie tournament final: The Shining vs. Silence of the Lambs vs. Halloween...coming very soon.

  5. #275
    Pat: What a prick that K-Jammin is! It’s okay though, he’ll get his comeuppance in the main event tonight. Right now though, we have another match in the TV title tournament!

    Match 3 Helmsley vs. Wes Goldman

    Helmsley
    Theme song: Sad But True
    Pat: Here comes Helmsley down the ramp, and since losing that match to BodomInvader he’s been on a bit of a roll, even though a lot of people are saying that it was only because of Kiddson’s interference last week that he got passed Daniel May. Nevertheless, we’ll see if Helmsley can keep his winning ways going right now against Helmsley.

    Wes Goldman
    Theme Money
    Dudley: Talk about a guy on a roll. You said earlier that Brandon Smithson might be the favorite to win this thing, well Pat, once again you’re wrong. There are only two people who I think have a realistic shot at this thing, and it’s Eric Bischoff and that man right there, Wes Goldman.

    Pat: Well you might actually be right there Dudley. Wes Goldman is on the roll of his career right now, and some people are saying that Wes is going to the ring more confidently now than he was even during his match against Psycho Siaki a number of months ago.

    Pat: Wes Goldman wins again! He keeps his hot streak going and reaches the semi-finals against Brandon Smithson. What a match that should be too. Well guys, we’re gonna cut to the back where we see K-Jammin walking backstage, and once again Katie "conveniently" walks up behind him.

    Katie:" Hey KJ!"

    KJ: "Oh shit..."

    Katie:" Just about to go and pick something up for dinner, and I know you had pizza last night so I was thinking tonight I cook you something with pasta, sound nice?"

    KJ:" What.the.FUCK are you talking about?! You haven't cooked me dinner for months, seriously this has gone far enough now. YOU NEED HELP YOU STUPID BITCH!"

    Katie:" Or something with rice?"


    *KJ stares at Katie with disbelief*

    KJ:" Rice is fine, can't wait"

    Katie: " Great! I'll go get it now, love ya'!" *She runs off*

    KJ: " Kill me now"


    Pat: While that crazy situation was going on, the international phoneme made his way out to ringside to an outstanding reaction from the crowd, and maybe he will address yet another crazy situation that has been going on the last several weeks. *Daniel May grabs a mic and speaks*

    So in case you guys haven’t noticed I’ve been in a pretty interesting situation that situation being Kiddson...now he’s been attacking me the past month and finally he came forward and explained why apparently I’m fake, phony and I’m everything he hates about JBW..he also said I’m talentless..strong words for a man who hasn’t even been in a match *crowd laughs* Kiddson all I’ve ever done is work hard for what i want the reason the company gets behind me is because of my hard work if there’s anyone talentless its you.....the only reason your getting talked about is cause you cry and you huff and puff AND attack me to get noticed...now about my announcement i recently tweeted about i met JBW management about this whole Kiddson situation and asked them if i could have a match at rampage of the titans..they agreed and would have Kiddson not only on the main roster of mayhem permanently to make this match happen but if you decide not to agree to this match they also stated that they would FIRE YOU from your development deal.

    *daniel may drops the mic and walks out. As May is heading up the ramp though, Kiddson strikes him out of nowhere with a lead pipe*

    Pat: What the hell! Another cheap shot from Kiddson to May! Kiddson goes for another strike with the pipe, but this time May blocks it. Kiddson seems to be surprised, because now it’s May with the upperhand in this brawl. We’ll pick it up from here at the top of the ramp.


    Pat: Oh God no! Kiddson just too a leap from about 30 feet off the ground onto May. My goodness that was death-defying. I get trying to make an impact Kiddson, but at the expense of your own body?? Medical staff rush onto the scene as Kiddson and May lie motionless. This rivalry between May and Kiddson. It’s gotten way more personal than one could have ever imagined. Simply unbelievable. While that all gets straightened out and hopefully both of these guys receive some help, we’re gonna cut the feed to Melissa Mendez who is standing by with Brandon Smithson.

    Mel: Well Brandon, after a few sour words from Chris Parker before the match, you really put it to him in the ring. How much pleasure did you take from making him eat his words tonight?

    Brandon: Well Mellissa, I have to say I took no pleasure in that. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I loved every minute of me competing and winning out there, but making my former friend and partner “eat his words” is not something I’m proud of. Despite what Parker may think of me, I’m not trying to boss him around out there when I tell him the things I tell him. I merely want to help him grow as a human being. The fact that he perceives my offer of guidance as some sort of demand makes me sad to hear, regardless of whether or not I came out victorious in our match. Oh well though, sadly some people will never see the light, and I’m not saying Chris Parker is a lost cause, but my hands have been washed cleanly of him from here on out. I’ve done everything I could possibly do, and now it’s time to move on. Yes, now it’s time to continue on my path of peace, and I will do that by winning the TV title tournament. I’ll prove to everyone that tranquility and harmony can lead to success in this world, and that you don’t have to be like Chainsaw, or Chris Parker or any of the other angry, violent competitors we have here to be successful. Thank you for the time Melissa. *walks off camera*

    Mel: There you have it guys. Back to you at ringside.


    Pat: Up next we have HBK in a match, but against a mystery opponent. This should be interesting…

    Match 4 HBK vs. ???

    HBK
    HBK makes his way out to the ring
    Pat: Here comes HBK to the ring and he will be facing someone tonight obviously, but even he doesn’t know who it will be. Luckily for him, Chainsaw is already booked for tonight so it won’t be him.

    Dudley: Yeah, but what if Chainsaw wants that Silva character to have a warm up match? I wouldn’t be lookin so spunky if I were HBK, no matter who his opponent is.

    Pat: That’s true Dudley, no matter who comes down that ramp to face HBK, he will have the advantage in this match due to him knowing who his opponent will be.

    *just then the lights dim a grayish color, and a light mist is shown throughout the arena. The look on HBK’s face suddenly changes from a bit nervous to flat out scared*

    This video appears on the tron

    Pat: Oh God. Oh no

    Dudley: Get the fuck outta there HBK!

    Pat: It’s The Sandman! The man who has been making all those creepy videos we’ve been showing. I agree with Dudley, try to get outta there HBK. You’ll lose your job but you’ll keep your body in one piece.

    Dudley: Look at this guy, he’s wearing a gasmask! And it’s not just his body he should be worried about. I’ve heard stories about this guy. According to some rumors I heard, he…he fucks with your mind. Your very soul.

    Pat: The guy has been in here for all of 5 minutes, and there’s already urban legends about the man? My God. Well it looks like we’re gonna be keeping this mist and the lighting for this match. Hopefully this is over quick.

    Pat: Sandman wins in dominating fashion here. He took a couple of shots from HBK in the match, but they seemed to have little effect on him. This guy was cold, calculating, and meticulous out there.

    Dudley: Man I’m glad that’s over.

    Pat: I agree. Lets go backstage where apparently K-Jam is giving Roland a pep talk for their match with Ma$$Dinero and Dave tonight.
    WWE resigned Punk, and everything I've said has come true on these things, so WWE, keep Punk a badass face. He will become a legend if you do.


    JBW is so good, even the most cynical member of the IWC couldn't complain about it. Check out or most recent shows here!

    And join in on the discussion here. We will welcome you with open arms. Please join now by PMing me or WWTNA Mark!

    Horror movie tournament final: The Shining vs. Silence of the Lambs vs. Halloween...coming very soon.

  6. #276
    Roland Butter: I-I can't get in the ring with Ma$$Dinero, he'll kill me!

    KJam: You just focus on Dave, and I'll take out that wanker Ma$$. Trust me.

    RB: .... *no response*

    KJ: *gets in Rolands face* You DO truset me don't ya, Roland.


    *Roland nods his head as we cut back to ringside*

    Pat: The confidence is just oozing out of roland right now. Haha!

    Dudley: Will you stop!

    Pat: Make me!

    Dudley: Eat me!

    Pat: How’s your mother?

    Dudley: She’s fine?? Why would you ask now though?

    Pat: Ha! Owned. Unfortunately though, not as owned as I think Shockmaster and No Bitch Assness are gonna be in a minute.

    Match 5 Chainsaw vs. No Bitch Asnness and Shockmaster

    No Bitch Assness
    Theme song: Destiny part 2
    Pat: NBA very nervously makes his way to the ring, and boy did he ever fuck this one up for himself huh?

    Dudley: Damn right! He didn’t even have to be in this match if he just kept his mouth shut.

    Shockmaster
    Theme song: Shockmaster WCW Theme
    Pat: Here comes Shockmaster, and he looks just as unhappy as NBA.

    Chainsaw
    Theme song: Dark Ritual
    Pat: Here comes the most dominating man in our industry today, and he wastes no time getting to the ring and starting this match.


    Pat: No shocker here, Chainsaw wins the match in dominating fashion. Chainsaw actually seems pretty happy with himself. By all accounts, he’s having a pretty good day with what’s gone down with Silva and with George being run over a couple weeks ago. He stands outside the ring, gloating after hardly breaking a sweat over NBA and Shocks... now hold on, is it just me, or is that cameraman getting awfully close to Chainsaw Duds?

    Dudley: I wouldn't advise that... Wait, thats no cameraman.. THATS ST GEORGE!!!

    *BOSH!!! St George lamps chainsaw with the camera, and chainsaw is out cold! St George enters the ring with mic in hand, and throws cap into crowd. He walks over and stands over Chainsaw.*

    SG: I'm back china!!!!

    *The crowd gives SG a huge pop to his return, as the chants start. "LETS GO GEORGE! LETS GO GEORGE! LETS GO GEORGE!"*

    SG: Chainy, you forgot to say cheese! Hahaha. *Actually my chinas, I think we should take another butchers at the expression on Chainy's face on impact. Can we get a replay...

    *St George turns to face the Jabetron and awaits a replay.*

    SG: Hey, production! Can we get a fookin replay?!

    *Just then on the Jabetron the replay of St George lamping Chainsaw appears. St George stands firm with an angry look on his face.*

    SG: freeze! Freeze it there! Man, that's one ugly boat race. You see Chainy, this is how you left me... On my back, out cold. You decided to avenge me by running me over... Nice. You didn't even have the fookin *niagra falls to face me like a man! You needed to hide behind a steering wheel and run me over... Pussy.

    You put me in the hospital. You distanced me from V3 and the Jabesters. You see Chainy, Georgie boy hates hospitals. They're boring, they smell like old people and the grub sucks! *But, and there's always *a but, Siaks and Mass booked me into a top notch private hospital... My own room, cable tv, brittanys on tap and two fookin gorgeous nurses to tend to my EVERY need!*

    Thanks to Siaks and Mass for booking me in,but a bigger thank you to you Chainy... Cos you paid for the lot!

    You see china, I'm always up for a rum n coke, but not now. The rum is over. From day one you've been inhumane towards everything that JBW stands for... And I'm fookin fed up with it. Come Rampage of the Titans you're gonna be the one who gets brown bread!


    *St George stands over chainsaw and flips him the bird. He drops the mic on him and leaves the ring.*

    Pat: ST GEORGE IS BACK!!!

    Dudley: Oh boy, Chainsaw is gonna be pissed about this!

    Pat: Yeah, when he wakes up! We’re gonna cut to commercial break now, but we’ll be right back!

    **commercial break**

    Pat:Back from commercial now, and apparently The Jackasses have requested some TV time backstage, so we’re gonna cut there now.

    Red Ryda: Thanks Pat. Hi, I’m Red Ryda

    El Gabo: And I’m El Gabo, and we have a pretty big announcement to tell all you guys.

    Red Ryda: Mass, you better watch your back good and hard, because me and Gabs have been brainstorming for weeks on just how to get you back for making me eat those peanuts that had been in your mouth a few weeks back.

    El Gabo: Low and behold, we found the perfect way to get you back, and we’re gonna reveal that to you next week. That’s right Mass, we’re even gonna tell you where and when we’re gonna prank you, and the best part is, you still won’t even see it coming. Haha. All in good fun pal.

    Red Ryda: Yeah Mass, and remember, you can’t prank a prankster.

    El Gabo: For right now though, we’re gonna share for you a little warm up we’ve been doing overseas in Japan.

    Red Ryda: Why we were in Japan we don’t even know, but we were and we’re gonna show you the footage of the havoc we created there.


    Click link to get a laugh

    El Gabo: And that was just the stuff they caught on footage!

    Red Ryda: The real prank is though, we told all those people we’d pay them a hundred bucks each for doing that.

    El Gabo: Where they thought guys like us would get that kinda scratch is to this day unknown.

    Red Ryda: Oh and guys, we can’t reveal too much right now, but we can tell you that we still have plenty of more tricks up our sleeves, and something big is gonna go down very soon.

    El Gabo: Thanks for the time guys. Back to you Pat.


    Pat: Alright Gabo. Well there you have it. Mass, you better be on the lookout!

    Dudley: Hate those guys. Hate Mass. Hate pranks. This whole thing has me flustered.

    Pat: You just hate all things fun don’t you?

    Dudley: How’s your father? Owned!

    Pat: Haha, such a fail.
    WWE resigned Punk, and everything I've said has come true on these things, so WWE, keep Punk a badass face. He will become a legend if you do.


    JBW is so good, even the most cynical member of the IWC couldn't complain about it. Check out or most recent shows here!

    And join in on the discussion here. We will welcome you with open arms. Please join now by PMing me or WWTNA Mark!

    Horror movie tournament final: The Shining vs. Silence of the Lambs vs. Halloween...coming very soon.

  7. #277
    Match 6 Nikki Belzova vs. Lucy
    Pat: Guys, it's time for a chick fight!

    Dudley: Come on, Lucy! You can do this!

    Nikki Belzova
    It's Nikki Belzova, and she is one angry panda!

    Pat: She's making her way to the ring with a vengence, Duds!

    Dudley: She's an idiot, and I hate her!

    Lucy
    It's K-Jams girl!

    Dudley: Would you look at that. Pure perfection, right there, Pat.

    Pat: I wouldn't touch her with a barge pole! This one is underway, folks!



    Dudley: That cheating bitch, she cheated!

    Pat: Well, K-Jams ex-fiance, Katie did interfere, but PandaMassacre won this fair and squ-

    Dudley: Oh my, Katie just attacked Panda! And now Lucys getting involved! Pat, this thing is breaking down fast!

    Pat: Here comes security!

    Dudley: Hey, that was a bit fast! I bet they just wanna cop a feel! Thats what I'd do!

    Pat: We have to cut away, but this thing is out of control here! Ladies and Gentlemen at home, we are about to get a live feed to BodomInvader. Apparently he, Terrible Ted and MV3 are on their way to the building, but they are a bit lost... BodomInvader, uhhh, can you hear me?

    BI via telephone: lOuD & cLE@r, paTRicK!!

    Pat: I understand that you are having trouble getting to the arena.

    Terrible Ted via telephone: Grrrrrrowwwwwwl

    BI: DoNt miND tEd, hE's JuST cr@NKy CoZ hE juST wokE up! bUt We ArE sTuCK iN tRaFFiC P@T. @t thI$ r@TE wE WIll neVER gEt To m@DiSoN $qU@RE g@rDeN!

    Pat: BodomInvader, did you just say you were headed for Madison Sq Garden?

    BI: yUp!

    Pat: But Mayhem is in Green Bay, Wisconsin this week, not New York.

    Midget Ma$$ via telephone: CUCK!!

    BI: oH No! oOoOoOh, ThAT PEskY rEd rYdER toLd mE iT w@$ @t thE G@RDen$!! I w@$ h@pPy @$ h@PPy tHe Dw@rF tO wr@$$lE thERe... OhHhHHh noW WH@t @Re wE gONn@ do, GuY$

    Small Siaks via telephone: Brother Brother *wink wink* Brother Brother!

    BI: GrE@t iDe@ $I@k$! LeT's gO tO mCdoN@Ld$!!

    Little George via telephone: China China China plate!

    BI: nO i doNT tHiNk THeY $tILl dO tHe mCrIb, lITTle geORgE, h@h@h@h@!! bUt wE c@N GeT yOu SomE mCnUGgeTs! TH@t$ lITtLe PEopLe fOOd! PaT wE wiLl sEe YoU neXT wEEk.. ANd rEd RyDer, yOu bEttER w@tCh yOuR baCK! NoOnE mAKes BoDOmINvaDEr lOOk $tUpiD!


    Pat: See ya next week, champ! And don't fill up on nuggets! Time now for the…

    Mayhem’s Move of the Week
    Presented by Snickers who would like to remind you that Snickers satisfies.

    Pat: This unbelievable move by Wes Goldman last week against RedDevilSativa helped Wes advance in the tournament. He calls this move The Debt Collector, and has been usuing it more and more frequently as of late, and I don’t think it’s any coincidence that he’s been winning lately too. Hopefully him the combination of The Debt Collector and his new found confidence can propel him to great things here.

    Main event Mass and Dave vs. K-Jammin and Roland

    Pat: Ladies and Gentlemen, it's time for another chapter in the war that is K-Jammin vs Ma$$Dinero.

    Dudley: And this time they're bringing friends along with them.

    Ma$$ and Dave
    It's the man with the $$ and his old buddy Dave!

    Pat: Look at Dave, Duds, walking down the aisle with Ma$$ has given him a new confidence!

    Dudley: I HATE MA$$DINERO AND HIS STUPID FRIEND DAVE!

    Pat: No? I never knew that.

    K-jammin and Roland
    It's The Great Saviour and his new buddy Roland

    Pat: God this guy takes his time getting to the ring.

    Dudley: Make 'em wait, K-Jam! They're not worthy!

    Pat: Finally, here he comes.

    Dudley: We're not worthy.. We're not worthy... We-

    Pat: Cut that out before I punch you! Wow, Duds, Roland looks like he's absolutely shitting himself.

    Dudley: For once I agree, Pat.

    Pat: This ones underway!!




    Pat: Dud's, K-Jam is leaving the ring... He's had enough!

    Dudley: Look at Roland he's gobsmacked! Oh no, watch out Ro-

    Pat: BOOYA!! Ma$$ Just nailed Roland with "My Friend Went To London And All I Got Was This Blood Stained T-Shirt! and Dave makes the cover 1... 2... 3!!! This one is over!

    Dudley: Boooo!

    Pat: Would ya listen to that reaction! Dave got a great win here tonight, and a small measure of revenge on K-Jam for putting him in hospital. What a surprisingly good match too.

    Dudley: Would have been better if K-Jam won. I guess thats 2-1 to Ma$$ now? I wouldn't count it if I were him... Wait, it's The Great Saviour, he's back!

    Pat: And he's got his trusty nine iron!!!

    Dudley: POW! Right to the ribs! Ma$$ is down!! But wait, it's St George!!

    Pat: K-Jam want's no part of George, and he's out of here faster than he came in! But Ma$$ is gonna feel that in the morning, Duds.

    Dudley: Damn right he will!

    Pat: We’re gonna cut to commercial break now one final time, but when we do we’ll have the Roman and Siaki contract signing. This should be great!

    **Commercial break**
    WWE resigned Punk, and everything I've said has come true on these things, so WWE, keep Punk a badass face. He will become a legend if you do.


    JBW is so good, even the most cynical member of the IWC couldn't complain about it. Check out or most recent shows here!

    And join in on the discussion here. We will welcome you with open arms. Please join now by PMing me or WWTNA Mark!

    Horror movie tournament final: The Shining vs. Silence of the Lambs vs. Halloween...coming very soon.

  8. #278
    Pat: Welcome back Ladies and Gentlemen, it's time for the final part of what has been an awesome night of events. Thats right, Iron Ape is standing in the ring behind a rather elongated table—looks like it’s time for the Mayhem World Title Contract signing!

    Dudley: Looks like you’re right—here comes RomanFlare!

    Yep, here's a guy Dudley said he would go gay for

    Dudley: Rome tears through the curtain, running onto the stage. He’s holding a microphone in one hand and a super soaker in the other! He’s cheering the crowd on, shooting the soaker into the air while the fans boo and throw garbage at him. Whats wrong with these people?

    Pat: They've got taste.

    Dudley: No, Romey has taste. He’s rockin’ his shirt and lookin’ all fly! Hahaha, he’s soaking a little kid!

    Pat: What a bully!

    Dudley: He's not a bully, he's making it up to him with a hug, see?

    *BONK!*

    Pat: And a mic-shot to the head. How can anyone stand his asshole?

    *Roman climbs through the ropes and onto the top rope, taunting the crowd! Rome sees the camera man looking up at him from ringside, aims, and blasts the camera with water. He takes a seat as Siaki’s music plays.*

    Here comes the greatest champ in JBW history. Fact.

    *Game face on, Siaki calmly walks to the ring wearing the belt over his shoulder for the world to see. The fans are near on pissing their pants in anticipation as the champ steps through the ropes. After looking both Romes and Ape square in the eye, he takes the seat at the oposite end of the dramatically long table.*

    Rome: Let’s get this show on the road. You signy, I signy, we both go home happy—well, you’ll be happy until Rampage when you lose your title, but happy non-the-less.

    Sikai: A day hasn't gone past when I haven't found something to be happy about, Tamps, I'm sure one night of educating you on the fine art of wrestling won't change tha- WHAT THE FUCK!!


    *Roman squirts Siaki with the super soaker, and the Psycho One rises from his chair and brings his fist down onto, and through, the table*

    Pat: How old is Roman, like, ten?

    Dudley: Old enough to be a legend in his own time.

    Pat: Don't you mean own mind, Duds?

    Iron Ape: Please, Siaki, calm down

    *Siaki, calms down, but remains standing*

    Rome: Did I forget to mention this bad boy? Yeah, he’s going to make sure I don’t have to listen to anything I don’t want to. With this bad boy, it seems like I’ll be doing ALLLLLLLLLLL the talking! *Rome holds the contract up as he reads it* As stipulated in the contract, you agree to face me in Chicago at Rampage of the Titans for “your” Mayhem World Title. You also agree to waive your rematch rights should—I mean when—you lose.

    *Rome pulls out a pen and signs the contract in a very showy way, then slides it towards Siaki, who signs it himself and slides it back to Rome in two seconds flat.*

    IronApe: Wow, that was quick. I mean... Good. Now, we’ll—

    Pat: Rome just soaked Ape! Why won't this clown grow up!

    Dudley: Look at Apes toupe! It’s hysterical!

    Pat: He doesn’t look so happy about it! He’s going to strangle Rome!

    Dudley: Ape has Rome backed into a corner and—Siaki has the water gun! That asshole is soaking Rome! He’s using the man’s own personal property to chase him out of the ring!

    *Roman runs up the ramp laughing to himself, and disapears behind the curtain. This leave Iron Ape in the ring all by himself with Siaki who lunges at him.*

    Dudley: Oh no, now that psychotic animal has the JBW president! He has him up, and..

    Pat: Spinebuster through the table!! .. That had to hurt!

    *Roman pops his head through the curtain, wearing a sly grin, and a vigilant Siaki spots him. Siaki points at him, raises the Mayhem World Heavyweight championship high above his head, nods his head, and gives Roman a sly grin of his own.*

    Dudley: Thing's just took a turn for the worst, Pat.

    Pat: Oh my god, Duds, what did we just see here? The world heavyweight champ just put our president through a table!

    Dudley: There's gonna be Hell to pay next week!

    Pat: Well, Artie's telling me I have to wrap it up, so.. Thanks for tuning in, Ladies and Gentlemen! Don't forget to catch us on Monday, and every Monday there after. Goodnight everybody! We're out'a time here! JBW!
    Not everything is what it appears...
    WWE resigned Punk, and everything I've said has come true on these things, so WWE, keep Punk a badass face. He will become a legend if you do.


    JBW is so good, even the most cynical member of the IWC couldn't complain about it. Check out or most recent shows here!

    And join in on the discussion here. We will welcome you with open arms. Please join now by PMing me or WWTNA Mark!

    Horror movie tournament final: The Shining vs. Silence of the Lambs vs. Halloween...coming very soon.

  9. #279
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    Whose ready for Turmoil???

    Filler
    "Bring a knife to a fist fight, a gun to a knife fight, and a M134 to anything else."

  10. #280
    Black Ninja! WWTNA Mark's Avatar
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    Final filler

    SHOWTIME!!!
    "Bring a knife to a fist fight, a gun to a knife fight, and a M134 to anything else."

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