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  1. #211
    Mayhem ep 23 7-6-11

    Pat: Hello and welcome everyone to another fantastic edition of Saturday Night Mayhem!! We’re live here in beautiful Chicago, Illinois and we have a stacked show for everyone here tonight. I’m Pat Barretall and I’m here once again with my broadcast partner Dudley Ramirez. Dudley?

    Dudley: Yeah Pat, I’m here once again to carry the announce both while we have some in-ring action. Now once again I’ve talked to Iron Ape and he’s promised everyone a HUGE announcement here tonight. He hasn’t disappointed us in the past with his announcements, so…

    Well, that didn’t take long…
    Dudley: Yes! Yes! It’s Iron Ape already! What a great start to the show. *stands up and applauds* Why don’t you stand up and show your respects to our great boss Pat?

    Pat: What is wrong with you? I think you’ve had one too many red bulls tonight.

    *Iron ape stands at the top of the ramp and speaks over the booing crowd*

    Alright, alright settle down. Once again ladies and gentleman, I have a huge announcement to get through here right now. *crowd boos* You know what, go ahead and boo now because you won’t be for long. It’s not like you guys deserve it, but you’ll actually like this one. Now as of the last show, both of our singles titles on Mayhem have some serious question marks about them. All of this is MassDinero’s fault of course but I’ll get to him later. With the number one contendership for the world title up in the air, and the TV title being vacated last week, me and the creative group here in JBW had to wrack our brains around a solution to these problems. Well, we found a definitive one for the TV title situation. Starting next week and concluding at Rampage of the Titans, we will have a tournament to crown the NEW television champion here on Mayhem. *crowd pops* I knew it *scoffs*. It will be a 12 person tournament, with the 4 highest ranked people involved in the tournament getting a bye the first week. Those 4 men will then compete against one another the next week to see who advances. These four men will be Chris Parker *crowd cheers* Eric Bischoff *crowd boos* Brandon Smithson*crowd cheers loudly* and The Sleeper *crowd cheers even louder*.

    Here is how the brackets will play out
    : *image on the Jabetron*

    August 13:

    Bracket 1:
    Scottland vs. _______
    Daniel Truth vs. Shockmaster

    Bracket 2:
    Helmsley vs. Daniel May
    Wes Goldman vs. RedDevilSativa

    August 20th:

    Bracket 1:
    The Sleeper vs. Eric Bischoff
    1st round winner vs. 1st round winner

    Bracket 2:
    1st round winner vs. 1st round winner
    Chris Parker vs. Brandon Smithson

    Now as you can obviously see, there is still one spot to still be determined in this tournament. Me and the team have to figure out who is worthy together, but we will figure that out by the end of the day. Oh and just so the four men who get a bye next week don’t get rusty, a fatal 4 way between the men is in order. Good luck out there ladies and gentleman. One more thing though before I go, because we cannot have another week go by where our number one contendership for the Mayhem world title is up in the air. You see ladies and gentleman, Mass actually did bring up a good point for once in his life. Just because he cannot win the title at Rampage of the Titans doesn’t mean he still isn’t number 1 in the rankings. Well, right here in the main event tonight, we’re gonna have a match with Mass facing a surprise opponent. Someone who he should be very familiar with at this point, and when this person beats Mass one-on-one, the number 1 contenders spot is his. That’s all for me people. Have a good rest of the show.*drops the mic and heads to the back*

    Pat: Well that actually is some excellent news about the TV Title tournament. That should be a lot of fun! Not so sure about Mass though. Our camera's travel to the car park where we see Melissa Medez

    *crowd pop and wolf whistle*

    Melissa: Hello Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm Melissa Mendez, and I'm here in the car park an- *camera flips to the car park enterance*

    *V3's Hummersine pulls up alongside Melissa, and out steps Mayhem World Heavyweight Champion PSYCHO SIAKI... And...*

    Mel: And as you can see Ladies and Gentlemen, the champ is here, and the champ, it would appear, is alone!

    Psycho Siaki: Alone? No, baby girl, Psycho Siaki is never alone when he's a part of V3. Lets take a little stroll, shall we?

    Mel: I, uh... OK.

    *Siaki and Melissa take a short walk to just outside the car park and we see a large half pipe where the other three members of V3, Nikki Belzova, Mass Dinero, and St George are hitting the halfpipe, on their brand new gold BMX mongooses like a trio of Matt Hoffmans. Their awe inspiring tricks have pulled in a massive crowd of enthralled onlookers.

    Siaki: Now, Melissa, that we are all together, you can begin... Take it from the top.

    Mel: Uh... OK.. *clears throat* Hello Ladies and Gentlemen, Melissa Mendez here to welcome V3 to the arena with Psycho Siaki and I have to ask, why aren't you out there doing tricks with the rest of them??

    Siaki: I can splash off the top rope and springboard from an irish whip but aerial maneuvers on a bike is not one of my specialties hahaha..

    Mel: Fair enough, well the talk around the arena right now-

    Siaki: Holy shit! Did you just see Panda hit that double tailwhip? Sorry, Mel, please continue.

    Mel: No problem, Siaki, that was awesome. Anyway, the talk around the arena right now is the open #1 contender slot for your World Heavyweight Championship.. Can you elaborate on that??

    Siaki: Let me just say it like this, I wouldve really loved to have that match with my brotha Ma$$Dinero.. For him to lose his slot to the punk ass Ape's stipulation for rehiring KY-Ass-Jammin.. That trade was pure bullshit. it's a fuckin travesty that we cant give that monumental match to the JBW Universe.. A damn shame I tell you..

    Melissa: Yeah the world went crazy when they seen Mass at the number one slot.. What do you have to say to the future #1 contender for your title??

    Siaki: Whether its the rusted Chainsaw, "The Tampon Kid" Roman Flare,, Toe-Jammin, his daddy Silverdust, or his aunt Silverlace, I dont give a fuck who it is!! Whoever wants to take this title from me, go ahead and bring the artillery because its all out war when it comes that ring.. I see that my V3 family has ridden inside the arena and im gonna follow suit.. Watch tonight to see what else we got in store for you..

    Mel: Well there we have it everyone from our World Heavyweight Champion, Psycho Siaki.. I cant wait to see what the rest of V3 have planned for the nig-

    *Melissa is cut short by PandaMassacre AKA Nikki Belzova whizzes past her and peddles towards the arena.*

    Siaki: *whistles LOUDLY* Yo Ma$$.. George! Wrap it up now, we got V3 business to plan out our secret locker room.

    *Ma$$ and George both catch one last piece of air, and then pull their BMX's to a halt in the middle of the halfpipe. They wave to the fans and then peddle off towards Siaki. They lock their gold BMX's to the bike rack in the car park. The three members of V3 then walk off screen laughing at how badly Panda outclassed Ma$$ and George on the 'pipe*

    Mel: Lets take it back to you, Pat.

    Pat: Thank you, Melissa Mendez, thank you.. Uh, I-

    Dudley: Are you flustered? Whats wrong with you, man, show some profesionalism!

    Pat: Ahem, well, Ladies and Gentleman, according to our show sheet, up next we hav-

    It's JBW's resident tough chick!!

    Dudley: Whats this bitch doing out here?!?!

    Pat: Now who's being unprofesional?

    Dudley: You saw what she did to me last week, Pat. No way am I gonna be unbiased towards this chick!

    *Panda speeds down the ramp on her gold BMX and bunny hops onto the apron. She gets up on to the seat, balances on one foot, and does an amazing backflip into the ring! She signals for a mic, and a stagehand takes the bike of the apron and carefully rests it on the ringside barriers.*

    PandaMassacre: Before the show goes any further, I need a certain slut to get her wobbly ass out here so I can kick it black and blue! She's been talking shit about me on her twitter page, and to the make up girls in the back, and this chick right here don't play she said she said!

    *to no theme music walks out the recently jilted Katie, who appears to have been crying and has a very scary look in her eye, carrying a mic*

    Katie: You bitch! If it wasn't for you, I would still be with my K-Jammy-Wammy!

    Panda: What! Do you even realise what you're saying? How the fuck is it my fault that you got the elbow at the alter?

    Katie: If you hadn't made me look weak at Wembley then we would still be together!!

    *Katie SCREAMS, pulls some of her hair out and rushes into the ring*

    Pat: Well apparently we are going to have our first impromptu match of the evening *throws show sheet over his shoulder and a lucky fan grabs it and quickly ducks out of view*

    Dudley: What did you do that for? That things gonna be plastered all over the EWN in minutes!!

    Pat: Ahh, to hell with it! It's not like we ever follow the damn thing anyway!
    WWE resigned Punk, and everything I've said has come true on these things, so WWE, keep Punk a badass face. He will become a legend if you do.

    JBW is so good, even the most cynical member of the IWC couldn't complain about it. Check out or most recent shows here!

    And join in on the discussion here. We will welcome you with open arms. Please join now by PMing me or WWTNA Mark!

    Horror movie tournament final: The Shining vs. Silence of the Lambs vs. Halloween...coming very soon.

  2. #212
    Match 1 Katie vs. Nikki Belzova

    Pat: Katie is in no fit mental state to be competing, she could end up hurting herself unless she gets her head straight. Panda just showed her what real woman’s wrestling is all about! And, Dudley, correct me if I'm wrong, but did we just have our first ever woman’s match?

    Dudley: Unfortunately... God, I hate that girl! Apparently Chainsaw is in the lockerroom chatting up with his Apostle’s. Let’s listen in.

    Chainsaw: *walks around the room, stopping to stare at each Apostle as he walks by them* I have a question to ask the four of you, and I want you to answer each individually. The question is simple..what…are your…goals? What is it you set out to do in this world?

    Anomander Rake: Cause as much chaos and destruction as humanly possible.

    Chainsaw: Good answer. Not the one I’m looking for though.

    Aerial: To rid the world of V-3

    Chainsaw: Alright. That’s not what I’m looking for either, but it’s not bad. One thing though, don’t tell me what you think I want to hear. Tell me…the truth.

    Demonic: To annihilate anyone in our paths.

    Chainsaw: You’re getting closer. Loki?

    Loki: To do your bidding dark lord.

    Chainsaw: Very close, but still not exact. I’ll tell you what your goals should be. You all…should strive to make me happy. If I’m happy, then you’re happy. If you cause the world chaos and destruction, or if you destroy V-3, or if you annihilate who is put in front of you, you all will make me happy, but all of these things are an inevitability. What will make me happy right now, what will bring me some semblance of joy, is for one of you to enter the TV title tournament, and win. There is one last spot open, one of you will take it. Mind my last words…you will TAKE it. Nothing will be given to you. Too much has been given to you already. Which one of you is worthy enough to take it?

    Loki: I am sir. I will take it.

    Chainsaw: Of course you would Loki, my oldest and dearest minion, but I’m not gonna give it to you. I already told you, you must TAKE it. *looks around at the slightly confused faces of the Apostles* I can see you’re all wondering what I mean, so let me tell you. I know you all want this. I know you all crave success for yourselves, but how much do you NEED it? Are you willing to stab each other in the backs for it? Are you willing to take arms against your fellow brethren? If not, then leave now. *pauses for a moment* Good. There will be a match tonight. A match between all four of you, in a fatal 4 way battle royal. Whoever wins, gets the spot. The rest of you may watch from a distance. Do you understand what is expected of you?

    All the Apostles: *nod*

    Chainsaw: Then get out of my sight and prepare.

    Pat: Wow. Looks like we have another match on the card for tonight. That should be interesting. Who will you be rooting for Dudley?

    Dudley: I’ll be rooting for all of these guys to come out in one piece after the match. Taking what Chainsaw had to say just now into consideration, I think that might be a long-shot.

    Pat: That’s the truth. Anyway we’re gonna cut to the back now where apparently The Jackasses are outside of the arena in the parking lot.

    El Gabo: *on handheld camera* Hi, I’m El Gabo, and this is operation payback, part 1: The Test. Hey Ryda, can you explain to the people what you’re doing right now?

    Red Ryda: Well, right now I’m waiting for someone else to walk by so I can set the trap.

    El Gabo: Yeah, but for the blind people in the audience and watching at home, what are you doing specifically?

    Ryda: Oh, well, I’m spray painting Iron Ape’s Lexus very slowly.

    El Gabo: And why are you doing that?

    Ryda: Because I want to see if we still have it. We’re gonna need to be trusted if Mass is gonna fall for anything we pull, so I’m considering this practice.

    El Gabo: Ahh okay. Very enlightening. Oh shit, here comes No Bitch Assness. I better hide.

    No Bitch Assness: Hey Ryda. What the hell are you doing?

    Ryda: Painting Iron Ape’s car. Ape’s gonna give me 200 bucks to do it. Frankly, I haven’t been in a match for so long I’ve needed the money.

    NBA: I hear ya. Why lime green though?

    Ryda: Hey, it was his choice. I’m not gonna say shit to him about it. It’s his car, his job, his rules.

    El Gabo: *pops up from his hiding spot* Hey Ryda! Don’t we have that thing to do?

    Ryda: Oh shit I forgot! Hey NBA, do you mind finishing up for me? It takes like zero skill and as you can see I’m almost done. I’ll give you 100 bucks.

    NBA: I don’t know man. I’ve never done anything like this before. I don’t wanna fuck it up.

    Ryda: It’s impossible to fuck up. If you do though, it’ll be on me, so you don’t have anything to worry about. Look it’s like 90% done, and it’ll only take you a few minutes to finish up.

    NBA: Alright man, but if I mess up you aint gonna tell Ape it was me right?

    Ryda: Hell no. Look I gotta go, it’s simple though don’t worry about a thing.

    *the jackasses both take off while NBA takes over painting, but not too far, as they are hiding in a corner. Red Ryda picks up his cell and makes a call*

    Ryda: Hey Ape, the job is almost done man.

    Ape: What job? Who the hell is this?

    Ryda: The job I’m doing on your Lexus asshole. It’s almost done. *hangs up. Under his breath* hahahaha.

    El gabo: This is gonna be priceless.

    *a few moments pass when Iron Ape storms out to the parking lot to see NBA painting Ape’s once pristine Lexus a hideous lime green*

    Ape: Oh you’ve gotta be KIDDING ME!!!

    NBA: What? I-I was just…

    Ape: SHUT YOUR FACKING MOUTH! Are you insane! God I should kill you! *takes a deep breath* Luckily for you, I won’t….

    NBA: *sighs in relief*

    Ape: I’ll let Chainsaw do it instead. Next week one on one. I’ll give you 7 days to make funeral arrangements.

    NBA: *drops to his knees and almost begins to weep*

    Red Ryda: Oh man. Was that too harsh Gabs?

    El Gabo: No one is innocent man. I’m sure he had it coming somehow. Let’s get outta here before Ape finds us. *jackasses scamper off*
    WWE resigned Punk, and everything I've said has come true on these things, so WWE, keep Punk a badass face. He will become a legend if you do.

    JBW is so good, even the most cynical member of the IWC couldn't complain about it. Check out or most recent shows here!

    And join in on the discussion here. We will welcome you with open arms. Please join now by PMing me or WWTNA Mark!

    Horror movie tournament final: The Shining vs. Silence of the Lambs vs. Halloween...coming very soon.

  3. #213
    Dudley: The Jackasses are criminals Pat! I’m calling the authorities!

    Pat: Haha, what’s wrong with lime green? We’re gonna throw it back to Sly now who met up with No Bitch Assness. Sly must move pretty quickly lol.

    Sly: Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm here with No Bitch Assness, who apparently has something to say about what has just transpired.

    NBA: *looks at the camera* Yeah, I got something to say. I'm tired of--

    *NBA gets a face full of boot as he gets knocked off screen. The camera turns and reveals RomanFlare standing there, glaring bullet holes in Sly.*

    Rome: Why did you do it, Sly?

    Sly: Do what? *Rome grabs Sly by the shirt and yanks him closer to Rome*

    Rome: YOU KNOW VERY WELL WHAT! Why did you just let Ma$$ take my title from you? ANSWER ME!

    Sly: I-I-I didn't have a choice!

    Rome: You damn well had a choice! Yet you just let him take it! Why, Sly, why? Do you have some VENDETTA against me? Do I not pay you enough!?

    Sly: He just took it! I couldn't stop hi--*Rome tosses Sly against the wall, cutting him off*

    Rome: I'm gonna make you pay for making me lose my title. And don't forget, remember I have a special delivery coming, and it's late, so it should be here very soon! Miss that delivery at your own peril.

    *RomanFlare storms off to the side, stopping momentarily to stomp on No Bitch Assness.*

    Pat: Wow, you gotta feel bad for No Bitch Assness. Anyway, we cut to the back and we see Panda pull up to the bike rack on her gold BMX. After she locks it up she turns around and blocking her path is The ShockMaster sporting a stupid grin.

    Shocks: Hey baby, how you doi-oooOOFFF!!

    *Panda looks down at ShockMaster who is clutching his manhood, and laughs to herself, before walking off camera*

    Pat: Oooh, another victim for The Panderator!

    Dudley: Shocks, man, I'm feeling your pain, believe me, I'm still feeling your pain. Anyway, we’re gonna cut to the back now where BodomInvader is talking to….a sheep? Where did he get a sheep??

    [/I]ItS oK mR sHeEpY wEePy ThAt HoRrIbLe MaN wItH tHe TwO bElTs iSnT cOmInG hErE aNyMoRe So YoUr AsShOlE iS sAfE! rUn Mr ShEeP! rUn AnD kNoW tHeRe Is No ChAnCe Of GeTtInG bUmMeD aRoUnD hErE! wAiT bEfOrE yOu Go I wAnT tO tElL yOu i HaVe My FiRsT jBw MaTcH nOw AnD iM gOnNa WiN iT fOr Ma$$! bYe ShEeP, I lOvE yOu.[I]

    Dudley: This is what we’ve come to Patrick. Sad, just sad.

    Pat: We have to cut to commercial now, but this discussion will be continued no doubt.

    Pat: Okay we’re back from commercial now and we’re ready for BodomInvader’s JBW debut!

    Match 2: BodomInvader vs. Helmsley

    Theme song: Sad But True
    Pat: Here comes Helmsley out to the ring and he’s getting a good response from the crowd after missing the last two weeks due to the injuries inflicted on him by RomanFlare.

    Dudley: Ha! Yeah this guy may be big, but Roman showed him who the real tough guy was a few weeks back.

    Pat: He jumped him Dudley. Anyone can get the upper hand in a fight if they pulled Romanflare’s sneaky tactics.

    (No theme yet lolz)
    Dudley: And this guy is just plain silly. There’s no room in the sport of professional wrestling for goofballs like this guy! I mean look at him! He’s wearing a freakin cape like some kind of slow, cut-rate superhero.

    Pat: Where’s your sense of humor Dudley? BI is a blast to listen to. He cracks me up every time.

    (Ignore everything after 5:50 minutes into the video)

    *BodomInvader shocked the world with his ariel ability, and although Helmsly would later claim that he "felt sorry for the poor little sap, and took it easy on him", he was definitely outstaged here tonight. BodomInvader just made one hell of an impression with all the JBW fanatics!*

    Pat: Wow! Holy Wow! I was NOT EXPECTING THAT! Dudley, even you have to be surprised at that!

    Dudley: It actually hurts me to say, but.... I-I think I agree with you, Pat. How could someone that clumsy and awkward looking move with such grace in that ring?

    Pat: It sounds like you're in Awe, Duds.

    Dudley: I think I am, I mean I was, I-I mean I, AHHH, just go to the commercial break.
    WWE resigned Punk, and everything I've said has come true on these things, so WWE, keep Punk a badass face. He will become a legend if you do.

    JBW is so good, even the most cynical member of the IWC couldn't complain about it. Check out or most recent shows here!

    And join in on the discussion here. We will welcome you with open arms. Please join now by PMing me or WWTNA Mark!

    Horror movie tournament final: The Shining vs. Silence of the Lambs vs. Halloween...coming very soon.

  4. #214
    Pat: We cut backstage now, and we see the newcomer Kiddson standing by with Roland Butter.

    Roland: Hi everyone, I’m here with Kiddson, and I have to ask Kiddson, why did you feel it necessary to bring yourself up from the developmental league last week?

    Kiddson: All I have to say at this point is I’m tired of calling JBW management and being told creative has nothing for me. When i was signed to this company i was promised endorsements, World Wide exposure, and to be treated as the great gifted wrestler i am. But instead i have been Reduced To performing on Showdown a B show Compare to Mayhem & WarFare, and to put insult to injury I was place in a match against a guy who doesn’t have half the talent i have in and out that Ring. But to their defense, no one on either roster matter fact in the WORLD can match me in or out that ring. Anyways If JBW management was smart the minute i signed to this company i should of been brought straight to the top and Given Not only the Mayhem World Championship but also the Warfare World Champship, cause let’s face it I’m the last hope this company has of drawing in money. But not only that they should of done it because I’m greatness in the making and in a few months of being here i will be the one guy carrying this company on it’s back and bringin in the big bucks. As far as the Top 10 List goes i feel like that is a insult in itself. How can anyone put a single number on a talent like me? The minute i joined this company i became #1,2 AND 3. If i dont Start Getting The respect that is entitled to me God have mercy on the whole JBW Roster. If you dont believe Test me I dare anyone"....

    Roland: So what about Daniel May.. why did you attacked him last week?

    Kiddson: *gives Roland a disgruntled look* Your second is up. *walks away*

    Pat: Back to ringside soon, but first we have Sly backstage.

    *Sly is standing by at a door labeled "Personal Lockeroom -- Keep Out (That means you, BodomInvader)", carrying a large package. He taps on the door with his foot. The door swings open, a RomanFlare standing behind the door, wearing a towel around his head, like he's waiting for his hair to dry.*

    Rome: My package! *he takes the package from Sly, almost dropping it.*

    Sly: You're welcome!

    Rome: Wait! *Rome hands the package back to Sly* Carry it for me.

    Sly: *sighs* Yes Boss.

    Rome moves so Sly can enter the dressing room, swinging the door behind him. Sly can be heard through the door.

    Sly: Two questions: What's in the package, and why are you wearing a towel? You have a mask on!

    Pat: I wonder what dastardly plan Roman has for someone here tonight.

    Dudley: How dare you, Pat, you are so biased!

    Pat: Biased? Damn right! RomanFlare hasn't got a decent bone in his body!

    Match 3 Loki vs. Aerial vs. Anomander Rake vs. Demonic-Battle Royal
    Theme song: Dark Ritual
    Pat: here come the Apostles making their way down the ring together. These guys may enter the ring all at the same time, but they know it’s every man for himself in this over the top rope challenge. Remember, whoever wins this match will get the last spot in the TV title tournament next week. Here we go!

    Pat: Anomander Rake wins the match and qualifies for the tournament.

    Dudley: I knew that guy has something special in him. What a big win for Anomander. That was a tough, physical match right there.

    Pat: Damn right. It wasn’t pretty, but hardly any of The Apostles’ matches are. We’re gonna cut to the lockerroom now where we have the two young guns, Daniel Truth and Daniel May. Let’s listen in.

    DM: Hey truth looks like we will be partners against the Golddiggers, a very strong tag team.....and you know i hope you have my back tonight since last week you let that kiddson dude jump me. I had to get stitches you know. He almost knocked me out of my chance to even wrestle tonight.

    DT: Hi may, sorry for the kiddson incident last week. You can count on me to have your back tonight and i hope you have mine.

    DM: Alright then truth i just want to make sure we’re on the same page for our tag match tonight. And yes i will have your back TONIGHT but remember when it comes to next week and
    we have our tournament to crown a new tv champion i hope you meet me in the final so we can settle who is the better man between us once and for all.

    DT: That great to know and i promise you that we will meet in the finals. This time though, there will be no repeat of MOA. Now about the Goldiggers, what’s the battle plan?

    DM: Alright so there a well established team and their veterans of the tag-team division, but we can’t let them punk us out. We may be the new guys but with our match that we had at MOA, us as a team should be just as great as that match. We hit them with our flare and we will be good.

    DT: Yea we know each other’s ring styles now so there shouldn’t be much miscommunication. Well look, I’ve got to get ready. I’ll see you out there.

    DM: Yeah no worries. Oh and remember, I’ll be rooting for ya come next week’s tournament...and who knows we might make a good team in the future.

    DT: Sounds good. I’ll be rooting for ya too, so don’t disappoint me next week. Our rematch deserves a big platform and what better than for the TV title?

    *both laugh and shake hands as the camera cuts back to ringside with Pat*

    Pat: Well those two look to be on the same page, and their gonna need it if they’re gonna beat the GoldDiggers tonight. Back at ringside now when…
    It’s St. George!!
    Pat: Here comes a man on a mission, Dudley, he really hurt Chainsaw where it Hurt last week. He hit him in the pocket!

    Dudley: He damn near bankrupted the man!

    Pat: I think you'll find that he damn near bankrupted a monster, not a man.

    Dudley: Brave words from a guy behind an announce booth.

    Pat: Pots and kettles come to mind here... The colour black too.

    *St George steps between the ropes, looks down at his brand new T-Shirt that reads "Chainsaw paid 4 dis!" and smiles. The crowd are giving him an awesome response, and the respect they have for George is almost overwhelming*

    St George: Hello, My chinas, I've got to say, that response that you just gave me warmed my horse and cart like nothing ever could! Now, I think it's about lemon and lime to talk about a bit of bread and honey.. I think its lemon and lime to talk about Mr Black and Decker himself, Chainsaw. More specifically, I'm really thinking it's about lemon and lime to start talking about old Chainy's bread and honey! Ya see, my chinas, in my hand I have some official looking bits of Sydney Drayper and I'm about to share with ya what's wrote on 'em. Listen to this one *looks a piece of paper.* This one right 'ere is a letter from PAMDA, or Protection Against Midget Discrimination Association. It reads, dear Mr- wait, is that your real name? Wow, I ain't touching that one, my chinas, sorry, but you'll have to wait for that litte Jackanory another time... Anyway, let's just say it's addressed to Chainy and it says... "Thank you for the rather generous donation of $100,000 dollar$. It WAS rather surprising, as we have heard that you have been known to, ahem, digest midgets when you are feeling depressed. Please rest assured that your donation will go on to help a little guy in need, and will put a little smile on his littl-" blah blah blah... Now, on to.. Wait, oh yeah, by the fooking way, Chainy, thanks for the clever mikes! And gold plated ones at that, cheers, big ears, I owe you a few Britany Spears. Now, on to the next letter, this one is 'is Sherman Tank statements, and listen to this; on here it says that he has been ordering online prostitutes by the dozen! I fib you not my chinas, a dozen! Six of one, half a dozen of the other! Hahaha! And 'ave a butchers at this, he is an Ann Summers gold card carrying member and in the 1st of this month 'e bought a Str-]

    *The arena goes black and St Georges mic is cut off! Then on the JabeTron Chainsaws face appears*

    Chainsaw: I have had enough of you! That is the last we will hear from you tonight, you irksome creature!... Walk with me.. *Camera follows Chainsaw* The first person I come accross will feel the wrath that has been building since last Saturday. I will be gentlemanly in my challenge but I will not hold back once I get him in the ring. I will unleash a devastation so cold that the message it will deliver will be felt in Siberia. It wi- Ahh, here's just the man.

    *Chainsaw has spotted a hobbling ShockMaster still clutching his nutsack. He grabs Shocks by the throat, pins him against the wall and whispers, about an inch away from his face, in a ever so scary voice.*

    Chainsaw: You have five minutes to get to that ring, or I will eat your heart where I find you!

    *Chainsaw releases Shocks. Shocks runs off, holding both his nuts and his throat. Shocks bad day is gonna get worse in about five minutes.*
    WWE resigned Punk, and everything I've said has come true on these things, so WWE, keep Punk a badass face. He will become a legend if you do.

    JBW is so good, even the most cynical member of the IWC couldn't complain about it. Check out or most recent shows here!

    And join in on the discussion here. We will welcome you with open arms. Please join now by PMing me or WWTNA Mark!

    Horror movie tournament final: The Shining vs. Silence of the Lambs vs. Halloween...coming very soon.

  5. #215
    Match 4 Chainsaw vs. ShockMaster

    Theme song: Dark Ritual
    Pat: Chainsaw makes his way to the ring looking as scary and as pissed as ever. There’s just no telling what this man is capable of right now, and we’ve seen him do some of the most atrocious acts ever allowed on live television.

    Dudley: You know I have to agree, but whatever happens right now to ShockMaster, whatever happens in the coming weeks, and whatever Chainsaw does from here on out can all be directly attributed to what St. George has don to him over the past two weeks. George has pushed Chainsaw over the edge, and when you push a man like Chainsaw over the edge, you have to expect some backlash.

    Theme song: Shockmaster WCW Theme
    Pat: Here comes Shockmaster and…

    Dudley: Let me stop you there. Here comes…the victim.

    Pat: Well that’s true too I’d be willing to bet. But what the hell? Are you seeing what I’m seeing Duds? Shockmaster’s Jabetron is significantly different than what it normally is. We can see the words nine-four-eleven-AWAKEN flashing up in between Shockmaster’s regular video package. We look and see Chainsaw is in the ring shaking his head in anger at what’s transpiring before him. Shockmaster turns around and see’s what Chainsaw is so mad about, and his slow walk to the ring gets even slower. We hearing him mouthing “No, no. It isn’t me!” while shaking his head. It doesn’t matter though, Shockmaster has nowhere to go now. He has to get in the ring and face Chainsaw. Let’s hope for a quick finish here guys.

    Pat: Thankfully Shockmaster still looks like he’s alive, but he was no match for Chainsaw in this one. It’s a shame he was made to go through this too, with Chainsaw being to book whatever match he likes and Ape doing nothing about it. Hopefully once George gets his hands on Saw and we have an actual match things will be different. Anyway, again we’re gonna cut backstage, but this time to a different area of the arena.

    *The cameras now go back stage, and we are seeing the door to RomanFlares locker room.*

    Pat: And I guess we're back at Romans locker room, maybe now we can get to the bottom of thi-

    Dudley: Shh, here he comes.. Wait, is that him under there?

    Pat: Oh lord.. Just what does Roman have planned now, and what the Hell is he wearing!?!?!. Well guys, we’ll be back to check on that scene in a minute, but first we want to tell you that The Silver Bros couldn’t be here tonight, and are reportedly on the hunt for a tag-team from another federation to face off against at MoA. Apparently these guys are real serious about the “best tag-team in the world” business, and they’re on root all over the world to find some “worthy” teams to face. We’re gonna have footage from this next week guys. This should be good.

    Dudley: Speaking of something that should be good..

    *The camera shifts to the locker room, where we see Sleeper lacing up his boots. We see a shadow creep over Sleeper, who, noticing that a person was standing over him, stands up. The camera slowly pans to show RomanFlare standing there, dressed in a large attack-dog dummy suit and wearing a football helmet. Sleeper looks unhappy to see him, to say the least, while Rome has a big smirk on his face.*

    Rome: I just wanted to stop by and ask you how to feels to have lost your title to me. How does it feel to know that I didn't just make you tap, or cover you for a Ref's three count, but that I dominated you and make you pass out? How does it feel to know that, while my fault, you lost your title and can't even get a rematch against me? How does it feel to be a falling stock? How does it feel to know that the day after my title victory over you, your little lady friend paid me visit. And boy oh boy was that visit goooood.

    *Sleeper goes to take a swing at Rome, but stops when he remembers the football helmet. Rome is giggling like a school girl, taunting Sleeper more. Sleeper rears back and tackles Rome to the ground. As Rome lays there laughing, Sleep stomps on Rome's appendages, which causes him to laugh more. Sleep jumps up onto the bench he was sitting on, leaps, and drops an elbow on Rome. This causes him to laugh hysterically, almost crying. Infuriated, Sleep storms off, slamming the door behind him.*

    Rome: Hahahaha. Hehehe. *pleased sigh* That was awesome. *squirms* Crap. *squirms harder* Shit, I'm stuck. Can anyone help, please? ... Anyone? ... ANYONE!? ... HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!

    Pat: Haha. He’s like a turtle. Anyway, now that that’s out of the way, we can go to what we we’re originally gonna go to. A man in a very expensive looking suit is standing in the ring, which is now surrounded by balloons and covered in red carpet. The man speaks.

    Ladies and Gentleman, you don’t know me but my name is Jack Sawyer, and I am the biggest K-JaManiac in the world *crowd boo’s* and I won a competition to have the honour to host the greatest night in sports entertainment history, The K-Jammin Appreciation Night! Now before you all boo, please take a moment to look at the big screen thing and observe some statistics.”

    “We asked a small town in Kazakhstan who the greatest wrestler in history is/was out of this tough challenging list of contenders…”

    1st K-Jammin 98%
    2nd The Shockmaster1%
    3rd The Renegade 1%
    4th Pete Gas ( Mean Street Posse ) 0%
    5th Avidico 0%

    “You see, these stats speak for themselves! Out of all of those sensational athletes, my boy K-Jam is THE greatest! Now that’s enough of the boring stuff, it’s time to bring out the man who saved JBW… K-JAMMIN!!!!!”

    K-jammin-Hollywood theme hits
    Pat:… and here he is, wearing what looks to be a VERY expensive William Fioravanti suit and he’s holding something…something big… Oh dear, he’s holding up a poster of his EX fiancée Katie NAKED!!!! What an evil bastard!! K-Jam is now in the ring, hugging his number 1 fan Jack.

    KJ: “Before I start, if you see this girl on the street corner begging for smack…please give her some, her life is so tragic I’m disgusted to breathe the same air as her! Nice tits though I’l give her that, and like last week I do NOT want to talk about how I got screwed at MOA by Mass and some reject slapper who got sexually abused by her uncle’s dog and is now angry at the world! Naa tonight we celebrate, we celebrate the fastest rising star in Mayhem history! Now apart from the occasional interference from my ex slut Katie, I am where I am today because of ME! And no one else.. Anyways, Jack… lets get this party started shall we! * They high five, then K-Jammin takes a seat on what looks to be some kind of thrown *

    Jack: “ Now, our first guest tonight … and I don’t want you to be mad K-Jam, he is simply coming out to pay his respect to you, ladies and gentleman… It’s Ma$$Dinero!!!!”

    Theme song: She Said
    Pat: Ma$$’s music hits, and the crowd are going wild! But what is Ma$$ doing here?! Him and K-Jammin… what the..?!..that’s not Ma$$, that’s just a midget dressed as Ma$$!! Midget Ma$$ slowly makes his way to the ring, and bows in front of K-Jammin

    KJ: “ Well I have to say I didn’t expect this, what are you doing out here Mass?!”


    KJ: “ Im sorry, what? “


    KJ: “ Yes Ma$$ Panda SHOULD quit this business and get back to the washing and ironing, I actually 100% agree with you there. But I thought you two were best friends forever? What happened?”

    Midget Mass: “ CUCK CUCKING CUCK “

    KJ: “ She didn’t let you do her anal?! WHAT A SELFISH BITCH! Im gonna’ take care of this for you Mass, PANDA!!! GET OUT HERE NOW!!!!”

    Theme: Take a bow
    Pat: Panda’s music hits instantly! Crowd are going nuts!!!! Oh for god sake, he’s dooped us again folks, it’s not Panda it’s just a over weight girl dressed as her

    KJ: “ Whoa fucking hell you’ve got big! What the fuck happened to you?! “

    Fake Panda: “ I took a look at myself in the mirror and realised how disgusting I was, so I’ve just been comfort eating”

    KJ: “ Honestly, you look like shit. Now ma’ boy Mass is telling me you won’t let him do you up the bum bum, why is this exactly? Actually don’t worry * He grabs Fake Panda and DDT’s her! * There you are Mass, go nuts!!!”

    *Midget Ma$$ jumps on the now unconscious fake panda and starts humping her like a dog*

    KJ: “ There’s a good boy, that’s it go on! I always knew you would lose your virginity before the rest of V3! I hope the dog that shagged Panda isn’t watching this otherwise you’re in fucking trouble! Anyways Im glad we’ve sorted our differences out Mass but if you could fuck off now that would be great, say goodbye to all the ugly people first though”

    Midget Ma$$: “CUCK!”

    KJ: Naww he’s adorable isn’t he, look at his little feet! Anyways, Jackson, Jacky, Jack whatever your name is let’s get on with the show shall we!

    Jack: “Yeah man, my god your awesome! Thanks for buying me this suit by the way..”

    KJ: “Are you taking the piss? HURRY THE FUCK UP!”

    Jack: “Sorry Jam, Ummm next up we have one of the best Jazz acts in America today..”

    KJ: “ Oh my days, do I seriously look like someone who listens to fucking Jazz?! Why do I get all the retard fans?!? Now forget the Jazz, and skip on to the next part”

    Jack: “ Ummm, are you a fan of Glee?”

    *HeadJam to Jack!*
    WWE resigned Punk, and everything I've said has come true on these things, so WWE, keep Punk a badass face. He will become a legend if you do.

    JBW is so good, even the most cynical member of the IWC couldn't complain about it. Check out or most recent shows here!

    And join in on the discussion here. We will welcome you with open arms. Please join now by PMing me or WWTNA Mark!

    Horror movie tournament final: The Shining vs. Silence of the Lambs vs. Halloween...coming very soon.

  6. #216
    KJ: You have ruined what could have been the GREATEST night in Sports Entertainment, you no longer have the right to cheer for The Great Saviour! Because that’s what I am, The Great Saviour K-Jammin! Every single night I save not just Mayhem, not just JBW, but the whole Wrestling world! I save it by being the only attraction this fucking industry has to offer! Mass, Siaki, George, Prophecy, Snair, Jman, etc… no matter how popular you guys think you are, it’s only a matter of time before these people come to their senses and join The New Age! Now Appreciate that, fuckers!

    Pat: What the.. Well there you have it folks, K-Jammin is declaring himself as “The Great Saviour”, and what is this “New Age” he talked about?

    Dudley: Isn’t it obvious Pat? K-Jammin is saying. He’s gonna be the new number one contender for the world title! That’s the new age Pat. The age of The Great Savior as world champ! I have no doubt he’ll make it happen too. Won’t that be great?

    Pat: Now hold on Dudley, I think you’re jumping the gun a bit on this one. K-Jammin doesn’t have the authority to just proclaim himself as number one contender. Mass still has that spot, even if he can’t use it. Wait, on the JabeTron! It's V3

    V3: Hahahaha!!

    Ma$$: That was CUCKING hilarious! man, I gotta get me a Midget Ma$$!

    St George: Hahaha, he nailed you, my china!

    Ma$$: I know, I know!

    Siaki: In all seriousness, if I ever see that little thing I'm going to break its fucking neck.

    Ma$$: Hey, go easy, man, midgets rule!

    St George: Hahaha, they are funny, but I wouldn't want one as a pet.

    Ma$$: I woul-

    Panda: I. AM. NOT. FAT!!!!!

    *Panda storms out of V3's secret locker room, and the guys look at each other and burst out laughing! They are interupted by a knock at the door.*

    Siaki: Come on, Nikki, you know thats not the secret knock!

    *another knock, eaqually as un-secretive. This turns the mood sour and everybody in the room grabs a weapon... Ma$$ cautiously opens the door... and..*

    BodomInvader: hEy V3!! i WaTneD tO tElL yUo ThAt i Am YuOr BiGgEst fAN!! aNd i WAnTeD to KnOw WhAt YuO tHouGHt Of mY MatCH!

    Ma$$: What the fook!

    Siaki: How the fuck did you find this place, brother?

    George: Get 'im in 'ere 'fore someone see's 'im!

    *George yanks BodomInvader into the locker room and slams the door.*

    Ma$$: How the hell did you find this place? Wait, Chaz, turn that camera off. This guy may have found this place, but we don't want the rest of the world hearing what this cat's got to say.

    Pat: Well, that was another shock provided by one BodomInvader.

    Dudley: He's smarter than he makes out, for sure!

    Anyway, we’re have a treat for you guys for sure right now. We have in it’s entirety, a tell all interview from The Sleeper talking about his recent opponent RomanFlare. Here it is: (kayfabe breaking FTW!)

    *Image pops up on the screen of The Sleeper sitting down with Maffew from Botchamania, who was lucky enough to get The Sleeper to interview him. Here’s what went down next*

    Maffew: Hell Sleep how are you doing today?

    Sleep: Well, it’s been a rough few weeks for The Sleeper’s camp, but I’ve been doing better lately.

    Maffew: Well that’s good news. First things first though, because this is what’s had everyone buzzing for over a month now: you and RomanFlare obviously do not see eye to eye, and you’ve said before that you don’t think the guy deserves his current spot in JBW. Can you elaborate on that at all?

    Sleep: Yeah I knew that was coming, but yeah, what people don’t get or what they misunderstand about the whole thing is, that I don’t think RomanFlare is untalented. He is talented, clearly. He’s great in the ring, he’s great on the mic even, but for him to be pushed that hard and that fast was too much for me. I know he’s been here from the beginning, but he just came out of nowhere and shot up like gangbusters, and I felt like it was too soon for him.

    Maffew: Hmm, forgive me if this is offensive in anyway, but I wasn’t expecting that type of answer coming from you after what you’ve said about him in the past.

    Sleep: Well, here’s the thing, everything I’ve just said about the guy is true, about him being talented and all, but I’ve honestly never liked the guy. He’s the type of person that just rubs you the wrong way. I mean, there are a lot of guys in the back that don’t see eye to eye with one another, but that wasn’t the issue here. I am a professional and I can work with a guy fine that I’m not all buddy-buddy with backstage. My real problem with all this is how it all went down, and frankly, why it all went down.

    Maffew: Care to elaborate on that?

    Sleep: Sure thing. First of all, let me give you a timeframe here. It was all originally set to be myself vs. Wes Goldman for the TV title at Monarchy of Aggression. Wes had just come off his program with Mass, and even though he lost he was still set to be in that upper-mid card range. Now I was fine with this because Wes is a pretty easy guy to work with and we had some cool, interesting stuff that I think the fans would’ve liked, but, and here’s the big thing with all this, around the same time Roman decided to kick it up a notch on the promo side of things, putting in more effort, working on his character, all while he put in some MASSIVE work with Showdown. Well, this all caught the eye of management. You know, WWTNA Mark, The Brown One, Iron Ape, and most importantly SES. These guys, SES and Roman, they’re like this *crosses his index and middle finger* apparently, and as I’ve said before, there are certain guys SES likes and who he doesn’t like.
    WWE resigned Punk, and everything I've said has come true on these things, so WWE, keep Punk a badass face. He will become a legend if you do.

    JBW is so good, even the most cynical member of the IWC couldn't complain about it. Check out or most recent shows here!

    And join in on the discussion here. We will welcome you with open arms. Please join now by PMing me or WWTNA Mark!

    Horror movie tournament final: The Shining vs. Silence of the Lambs vs. Halloween...coming very soon.

  7. #217
    Maffew: Not to interrupt you Sleep, but do you think you’re more on the end of the “guys SES doesn’t like” spectrum, or the “guys SES does like” spectrum?

    Sleep: No problem Matt. Umm, like I said, if I had to guess I’m on that “guys he doesn’t like” group. That doesn’t mean my career is toast here, JBW isn’t like the WWE in that sense, but you can’t tell me SES doesn’t give certain edges to certain people. I mean, there’s a reason why about 5 or 6 guys get 90% of the air time on Mayhem, and the rest of us share the other 10%. Anyway, yeah, I was all set to have the program with Wes, one where I was gonna go over and keep on keeping on as TV champ, but then RomanFlare came along and I was notified that not only is Wes out and Roman is in, but that I was set to LOSE the title to Roman at MoA. I found out about all this just before Mayhem’s 20th episode, and I felt like I had to say something. That shoot I did, that wasn’t in the script at all that night, I came out there, interrupted The Prophecy, and spoke my heart. And you know what? The fans responded to it, and I think it was because I spoke from my heart and I did say exactly how I felt and still feel. That’s just it, that’s the whole situation with the shoot. Actually, I gotta say one more thing just to reiterate my point in this whole thing, RomanFlare the character is worthy enough to dethrone me as champion. I was upset about losing my belt sure, but RomanFlare the person is a piece of shit and I’m not afraid to call him a piece of shit to his face. Let me give an example of this. RomanFlare has that TV title for 6 days, less than a week, and he’s treating it like an accessory. He’s out there giving it to interviewers to wear, he’s saying how he already doesn’t want the belt and that it’s basically below him. Months of me building that title into something of merit, and RomanFlare lowers its prestige in less than a week. That’s really why I was pissed. That in a nutshell, is why the shit with Roman and me went down. I can honestly say I saw it coming a mile away. He’s not a good pro, he’s a shitty champion, and he’s a shitty person.

    Maffew: Wow! *shakes head in amazement* That was more the reaction I was looking for from you Sleep. Haha.

    Sleep: Haha. I just tell it like it is Matt.

    Maffew: Now the next question I gotta ask is, there were numerous reports that you and RomanFlare had more than just a few strong words with one another backstage. Can you talk a little bit about the scuffle you two had?

    Sleep: Oh God that. Haha. Well, it went down just like how RedDevilSativa said, oh and by the way, talk about guys that management aint happy with, RedDevil, man, he dropped the ball on that one. As far as I knew, RedDevil was actually set to get a little push, with him and Wes Goldman having a program, but damn, after that his stock just went down the tube. Anyway yeah, not much to tell there. The whole thing with the fight between me and Roman was over in less than a minute. But hey, any time Roman wants to have a fair fight with me, he can come see me anytime. I’ll give you anything you need Rome. You want round 2 then I’m down.

    Maffew: Alright cool, cool. Here’s one thing that I don’t think everyone’s been talking about, or at least not enough in my opinion, the ending to the Sleeper/Roman match, scripted or un-scripted?

    Sleep: Ah, so that caught your eye huh? Alright, I’ll tell you the truth. It was unscripted.

    Maffew: Woah. Wow because I was about to say, if it was scripted then the writers did a pretty good job because I think that added a lot to your guy’s feud. But wow, unscripted huh? So we’re you really passed out then?

    Sleep: Yeah man. Sleeper got put to sleep in that one haha. But look, here’s just another example of what kind of guy Roman is, he was trying to call spot after spot of him just dominating me in that match. He was trying to BURY me in that match, make it look like I was out of his class, and I was like, fuck that! I’m not gonna job to this guy because he told me to. I wanted to give the fans what they paid for, so when it came time to do the end I refused to tap to the guy. After a little while of him figuring I wasn’t gonna tap, I felt him actually putting the hold on me, with more and more pressure added with every second. At that point I was like screw it, I’ll just let him choke me out. I wasn’t gonna tap to him no matter what that day. That’s just me being stubborn I guess.

    Maffew: Wow this is great stuff man. You don’t think you’ll get in trouble for this do you? I mean, I don’t want to get you de-pushed or anything. Speaking of which though, what are the future plans for The Sleeper?

    Sleep: Well that’s one thing I cannot tell you Matt. Just know that The Sleeper isn’t just gonna ride off into the sunset never to be heard from again. I’ll still be making some noise in this industry, and I can guarantee that. As for me getting into trouble, I’ve done worse shit then this and gotten away with it. I don’t think I can really get into any more trouble than I already have been in.

    Pat: What an entertaining piece that was. Anyway, we’re gonna cut to the back now where The GoldDiggers are preparing for their match vs. Daniel Truth and Daniel May. Let’s listen in.

    Dudley: Does anything happen in the ring anymore on this show?

    Pat: Shhh.

    Wes: Hey man, I need to know, are you gonna pull a RedDevilSativa on me and crap out in the matches? I mean, we’ve only won one match so far as a team, and I need to know where yo stand here.

    Scottland: Who are you talking to man? This is me remember? I’m not RedDevil and will never be the weak link on any team.

    Wes: Alright, I know we’re both a bit on edge, but that’s because we’re both in the TV title tournament and we both wanna win it. I just gotta know if we can be on the same page for our match tonight. We both wanna go into that tournament on a roll right? Well we gotta get through these punks tonight and we’ll do just that. You’re a two time TV champ, and I’m going into this things as confident as I’ve ever been in my career. We play our cards right and it’ll be an all GoldDigger final.

    Scottland: And that’s just how it’s gonna happen too, we just have to…

    *NightWolf walks on screen to a HUGE pop from the crowd, interrupting Scottland in mid-sentence*

    [I]Scottland: Hey asshole! You gonna make a pattern of this? We we’re talking buddy. I think you need to apologize.

    NightWolf: *smiles at Scottland without saying a word*

    Scottland: Alright freak you need to get outta my face. Don’t you have some general managing to do in EWNCW anyway?[I]

    *Nightwolf hauls back and SMACKS Scottland in the face, sending him right on his rear end*

    Wes: Hey yo-

    NightWolf: *gets right up next to Wes and gives him a menacing looking stare* I heard the howl of the wolves. They led me here...hahaha.*Wes backs off as we cut back to ringside*

    Pat: Wow. For the second week in a row Nightwolf has made an impact on Mayhem without even making his way to ringside! We still have to wonder what he’s doing here though…strange all things considered.

    Match 5 GoldDiggers vs. Daniel Truth and Daniel May

    Theme song: Priceless
    Pat: The GoldDiggers make their way out to the ring, looking all business right now.

    Daniel Truth and Daniel May
    Theme: Reverse this Curse
    Pat: Daniel Truth and Daniel May make their way out to the ring together and this one is underway.

    What the hell! Kiddson just came to the ring and ruined this match! It looked like May was gonna pin Scottland, but Kiddson came out and the match was thrown out. Wow Kiddson and May are really going at it now, and the entire lockerroom is emptying to come out and break this up. May spears Kiddson, but Kiddson still won’t be denied! Finally the guys get a good hold of these two and the fight is over. Anyway, I’m getting word in now that something is happening backstage, so we’ll cut there now.

    *In the corridors we see the obese woman from the K-Jammin appreciation night, who immitated Panda. When all of a sudden... POW!!!!!*

    Pat: Oh my!! The real Panda has just knocked out that fat ugly Panda!

    Dudley: Nooo, I had a date with her tonight!

    Pat: She was out of your league anyway Duds. We have to hit commercial one more time, but we’ll be right back soon!

    Pat: Ladies and Gentleman, we’re back from commercial now and our cameras have taken us backstage, but as far as I can see there is no one there.

    *Cameras point down and we see Midget Ma$$ walking through a familiar corridor*

    Dudley: There he is. I love that little guy!!

    *He soon comes across the fat Panda impersonator, and realises his little ass is in trouble.*

    Midget Ma$$: Cuck!!!

    *With as much speed as his poor little legs could muster he began sprinting through the corridor when all of a sudden he is quickly snatched in a net and dragged off screen.*

    Off screen voice: Got the bugger!

    Dudley: Hey, I know that cockney accent! What are they gonna do to him?!?

    Pat: I don’t know, it should be interesting. Well up next guys is a…

    Dudley: Wait a minute Pat, what the hell is that?

    Pat: Oh shit you’re right what is that?
    WWE resigned Punk, and everything I've said has come true on these things, so WWE, keep Punk a badass face. He will become a legend if you do.

    JBW is so good, even the most cynical member of the IWC couldn't complain about it. Check out or most recent shows here!

    And join in on the discussion here. We will welcome you with open arms. Please join now by PMing me or WWTNA Mark!

    Horror movie tournament final: The Shining vs. Silence of the Lambs vs. Halloween...coming very soon.

  8. #218
    *the lights dim and the camera cuts to the Jabetron where this is show:*

    Pat: God that was creepy. Between these videos that keep airing and all the shit that’s happened to Chainsaw, a lot of the guys are feeling a bit uneasy even coming to work lately. Isn’t that right Dudley? Dudley? Stop crying duds! Be a man! Like I was saying before that creepy video popped up…

    It's time for the MAIN EVENT!!

    Pat: Look at the confidence on this mans face... He doesn't care who he's facing tonight!

    Dudley: He's an idiot.

    Pat: I wonder who it is? Who will Ma$$ be facing tonight?

    Dudley: It doesn't matter, he's gonna lose anyway!

    It's K-Jammin!

    Dudley: YES!!!!! Redemption!

    Pat: How on earth does this guy deserve this shot at the number one contender spot, he's done nothing but act the fool since Wembley!

    Dudley: He's awesome! He's The Great Saviour! He's... Taking an awful long time to get out here.

    Pat: Wait, from the crowd, look whos just sneaked in the ring!

    Dudley: IT'S ROMAN!!!

    *Roman takes Ma$$ down with a chop block and imediately begins stomping Ma$$' skull into the mat. Refferee Willie Wille eventually pulls Roman off, and as soon as he does, the bell rings, and this one is under way!*

    Main event Romanflare vs. MassDinero

    Pat: Ma$$ and Rome are trading blows in the middle of the ring! Ma$$ gets the upper hand—backs Rome against the ropes and fires him across the ring! Rome on the rebound, ducks the right but hooks the arm!

    Dudley: Ma$$ and Rome are trading holds: arm bar, hammer lock, headlock, waist lock, chin lock—CUTTER!

    Pat: Rome drops Ma$$ with a cutter from nowhere!

    Dudley: He crawls over and covers Ma$$--1! 2! MA$$ KICKS AT 2 AND A HALF! Rome was mere inches away from winning the #1 Contendership!

    *Rome is arguing with the Ref. He sees Ma$$ start to get up, Rome is in the corner, measuring Dinero…*

    Pat: Ma$$ is up and Rome is on the offense—He missed a Bicycle Kick! Rome turns and eats an Enziguri from Ma$$!

    Dudley: He rolls Roman over—cover: 1! 2! Rome kicks out! Two near falls in this battle of giants in our sport!

    Pat: Ma$$ is dragging Rome to his feet by his mask. He’s got him up for the scoop slam—Rome lands on his feet behind Dinero! He hooks the head, Dragon Sleeper!

    Dudley: Rome has Ma$$ in the Dragon Sleeper! Roman gets the body scissors and Ma$$ is trapped! He has nowhere to go but out! The Ref is checking on Ma$$--He’s calling for the bell! Rome put Ma$$ to sleep! Yes!

    *The Ref raises RomanFlare’s hand.*

    Dudley: Rome is the new #1 Contender for the Mayhem World Title! What kind of world is it when— Oh no!! *Rome is attacked from behind!* It’s The Sleeper!

    Pat: The Sleeper is beating the shit out of RomanFlare in the ring!

    Dudley: He’s absolutely merciless!

    Pat: The Sleeper must be taking out weeks of frustration out on Roman! He’s trying to take off Rome’s mask! Rome fights him off and scrambles to the corner—


    *Siaki runs down the aisle, and fourth body is in the ring!*

    Pat: It's The Champ! Psycho Siaki is in the ring! And he’s—he is talking to Sleeper? Is Siaki being the voice of reason here? Sleeper is laying into Siaki verbally! Rome is charging the two—Siaki ducks but Rome hits Sleeper with big clothesline and the two go tumbling over the top rope!

    *They continue brawling until they end up fighting right infront of the JBW fans behind the ringside barrier. Sleeper shoulder barges Roman into the barrier, strikes him a few times with the point of his elbow, and takes a few steps back before charging!.....*

    Dudley: Roman ducks, and Sleeps goes flying over the barrier!

    Pat: But the fans caught him and are setting him down gently, Roman climbs the barrier and takes flight!

    Dudley: Oh no, Sleeper caught him with a big dropkick!

    *From seemingly out of nowhere, Siaki takes to the ropes and perfectly executes a springboard cross body block onto both men!*

    Pat: Sorry Joey, but, OH MY GAWD!!!! He's taken them both out! Wait, Roman is up and he's brawling like mad with the champ!

    Dudley: Go on, Romes! Get him! Watch out for Sleeps! Too late!

    *As the three men continue fighting Ma$$ begins to open his eyes slightly, when...*

    It's K-Jammin, whats he doing here!

    *Still in his suit, and clearly a bit drunk, made obvious by the bottle of beer in his hand, wearing a devilish smile, he enters the ring, and stands over Ma$$. He can be seen mouthing "you ain't so bad now, are ya". *

    Pat: Look at him, he's like a vulture.

    Dudley: Ma$$ deserves everything he gets!

    *K-Jam begins to slowly pour the Bud light over Ma$$' head, which stirs Ma$$ a little. But when the beer reaches his lips, his eyes SPRING open, and a shocked K-Jam turns and makes a drunken attempt to flee the ring. By the time he is at the ropes Ma$$ has grabbed him by his expensive blazer, but K-Jam wriggles free. Throwing the garment down, Ma$$ grabs K-Jams silk shirt and that too rips away, and the crowd begin laughing at K-Jams predicament!*

    Dudley: This crowd is reprihensible!

    Pat: Oh look, K-Jam has escaped! He's running down the aisle!

    Tough. Chick. Alert

    Dudley: Oh no! Panda has cut him off, and she is carrying that steel chair like she means business. That bitch has already ruined my night, and now she's out to ruin K-Jammin's, too.

    Pat: And she's brought Midget Ma$$ with her! St George obviously persuaded the little guy to fight the good fight!

    Dudley: That little judas!

    *K-Jam heads back down the aisle and is forced to get back in the ring to meet a waiting Ma$$. Realising he has awakened the hatred within him, K-Jam was taking no chances and took his belt off and wrapped the belt round his fist with the buckle by his knuckle.... K-Jam raised his fist and.... His trousers fell down!!! He bent over and struggled to pull them up, and as he stood up.. CONK!! ~feedback~*

    Dudley: What an asshole!! Mass just hit poor K-Jam in the head with a microphone!

    Pat: Dudley! Watch your language! Wait, oh how funny! K-Jam is wearing Jar Jar Binks Boxers shorts! Hahaha!

    Dudley: Jar Jar is a hero to kids everywhere! So what if he's-

    Pat: Ahahaha! Wait a minute... Midget Ma$$ is making his way to the top rope!

    Dudley: Whats he thinking?

    *Midget Ma$$ leaps off of the top rope*

    Pat: Midget Ma$$ with the Midget Ma$$ Spla$h!!! Wait, Siaki, Roman and Sleeper are still brawling in the crowd, Dudley.... IT IS MAYHEM HERE!! What is going on!!

    Dudley: Look, on the JabeTron! It's Loki and Aeriel, and they are smashing up V3's gold BMX's! But, wait, it's St George, and he's going crazy on the two Appostles.


    Pat: St George has just been hit with a car!!

    *The car speeds off and the crowd go deathly silent. Ma$$ and Panda run up the ramp, and it isn't long before Siaki has caught up to them. The Sleeper attempted to join V3 but Roman cut him off and they fought each other even as V3 made their way to the car park... But by the time they had got there, an ambulance was on the scene and EMT's were attending to George. The show ends as St George is being loaded into the back of the ambulance with Panda, Ma$$ and Siaki wearing very worried looks*

    Pat: Ladies.. And.. Gentlemen... We'll see you next week *whispers* oh my gosh. JBW!
    WWE resigned Punk, and everything I've said has come true on these things, so WWE, keep Punk a badass face. He will become a legend if you do.

    JBW is so good, even the most cynical member of the IWC couldn't complain about it. Check out or most recent shows here!

    And join in on the discussion here. We will welcome you with open arms. Please join now by PMing me or WWTNA Mark!

    Horror movie tournament final: The Shining vs. Silence of the Lambs vs. Halloween...coming very soon.

  9. #219
    Black Ninja! WWTNA Mark's Avatar
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    "Bring a knife to a fist fight, a gun to a knife fight, and a M134 to anything else."

  10. #220
    Black Ninja! WWTNA Mark's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Garfield, NJ
    Blog Entries
    Final filler
    "Bring a knife to a fist fight, a gun to a knife fight, and a M134 to anything else."

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