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  1. #1281
    Black Ninja! No_1eddiefan's Avatar
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    May 2011
    Birmingham, UK
    JBW KillZone: Episode 7

    Location: New York, New York

    Patrick Riley: Ladies & Gentlemen! Welcome to JBW KillZone and we are live from the grandest arena in the world! We are live from a sold-out Madison Square Garden! We have a huge night lined up for you, I’m Patrick Riley alongside Dudley Erickson, and on the final stop before In Justice For Brawl, who do you expect to take the upper hand into the pay per view?

    Dudley Erickson: I’m not sure Pat! Don’t forget, we’re expecting to hear from Ma$$dinero on Malcolm Cage’s challenge! I wonder what he’ll say?

    Patrick Riley: Other than that, tonight is shrouded in mystery! We’re expecting an announcement from our General Manager Jman soon, speaking of which, Jman’s been in the role since the very first KillZone, how do you feel he’s doing Duds?

    Dudley Erickson: I have to say he’s doing a great job, it’s part of my contract agreement.

    Back in Black hitting the PA system gets a huge pop from the MSG crowd. They get louder when, wearing a “NYFD” ballcap, an In Justice For Brawl T-Shirt and a pair of jeans, Jman walks out onto the ramp. J takes a long look around this historic venue before making his way down the ramp.

    Pat: You have to think, Duds, that there’s a big part of Jman, especially at a place like Madison Square Garden, that wants to compete tonight.

    Dudley: Absolutely. Hell, knowing his massive ego, maybe that’s what he’s out here to announce.

    Pat: Oh, stop.

    Jman slides into the ring and catches a mic thrown to him by a stagehand. J goes and leans on the ropes, laughing to himself, before starting to speak.

    Jman: Last time I was here for a Jabe show, gang, it was the night of “K-Flare Presents”.

    That gets dueling “We Want K-Flare!” and, for some reason, “Just Say Fuck It!” chants from the smarks in attendance.

    Jman: Hahaha! Amen to all that. But, man, you guys are smart; remember where JBW was that night? I was WARfare World Champ, K-Jamm was Mayhem World Champ, Romes, even though nobody knew it at the time, was Showdown Champ and Kash was in charge.

    All those Old School JBW references get a mixed reaction from the crowd.

    Jman: Now, Warfare, Mayhem and Showdown are gone, K-Jamm’s gone, Romes is gone and, like it or not, the new generation of JBW is here. It’s funny, though, how being in this building brings all that stuff back for one of the few guys remaining after all this company’s been through.

    But, that’s what makes The Garden special. No matter what, each time you’re here, you never forget it.

    That gets a resounding pop from the crowd as J continues.

    Jman: To that end, how ‘bout a card to make some memories tonight?

    The crowd starts chanting “Yes! Yes! Yes!” to Jman’s question before he rolls into the card.

    Jman: Right, how ‘bout, just for starters, in a preview of the World Tag Team Championship match at In Justice For Brawl, Mr. Black of Black Blooded versus Tyler Jones of the Predators in Paradise versus Anthony Bennett of Elite Bloodline?

    That gets a pop from the majority of the crowd and a “Where is Dag?” chant from the smarks. J smiles and shakes his head at that before moving on.

    Jman: You got me, kids. Okay, how ‘bout a Resurrection rematch? Mr. Smyth, with Aidan Black in his corner, versus Black’s IJFB opponent; Vulgar?

    The smarks chant “Ma$$ is better!” but they’re drowned out by the cheering majority.

    Jman: Add to that Ano Doom and Brock Edwards taking on Shaz and Athena, and we’re looking at a pretty solid show. Ahhh, but this isn’t the place for a merely solid lineup. This is Madison Square Garden, this is the Mecca. That being said, we need a main event befitting this venue, and I think I have it.

    In the maint event of the evening, we’re going to have, essentially, a JBW All-Star Game. Tommy Thunder, Ma$$dinero, JBW World Television Champion Mike Hawk, Van Hooligan X and HolyJose will team up to take on JBW World Heavyweight Champion TheDevilsAdvocate, Malcolm Cage, KJ Punk, JBW Intercontinental Champion Chris Divine and Ryusuke “Shuriken Blade” Serra.

    There’s a massive pop at that and J has to wait it out before continuing on.

    Jman: You’ll hear from everyone, Eddie Juarez and Jason Alexander included, on the Killzone roster tonight, too. For now, though, production, let’s pay some bills.

    That gets J some playful heat as we slowly fade to break.

  2. #1282
    Black Ninja! No_1eddiefan's Avatar
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    May 2011
    Birmingham, UK
    Patrick Riley: Welcome back to KillZone folks! We’re live from Madison Square Garden and what an announcement from our General Manager before the break!

    Dudley Erickson: That’s right Pat, a five-on-five match! We’ll get to see the team of Tommy Thunder, Ma$$dinero, Mike Hawk, Van Hooligan X and HolyJose.

    Patrick Riley: And they’ll be taking on another dream team in TheDevilsAdvocate, Malcolm Cage, Chris Divine, Shuriken Blade and KJ Punk!

    Dudley Erickson: This is what I’ve been waiting for! What a main event!

    Patrick Riley: We’re also expecting to hear from every single member of the KillZone roster involved in In Justice For Brawl tonight!

    Dudley Erickson: Plus, three other matches will take place! A Resurrection rematch in Mr. Smyth against Vulgar!

    Patrick Riley: A triple threat match between three members of Elite Bloodline, Black Blooded and Predators in Paradise to warm up for In Justice For Brawl!

    Dudley Erickson: And to kick us off, a tag match. We’ll see Shaz and Athena take on Brock Edwards and Ano Doom!

    Athena's music plays and she comes out to the sound of cheers from the fans. She makes her way into the ring and is handed a mic.

    Athena: Last week I faced off against Ma$$ Dinero and I was screwed out of the win when he attacked me with some brass knuckles.

    The fans boo.

    Athena: To add insult to injury he continued to hit me in the face after the match was over while I was still passed out.

    The fans boo once again.

    Athena: But I'm not gonna play the girl card and say that what Ma$$ did was wrong because I'm a woman, it was wrong because I was going to win that match and he took that away from me. But Ma$$ now I see how you roll and you won't be able to pull the same trick on me again and at In Justice for Brawl when we face off again it will be you left passed out in this ring.

    The fans cheer loudly.

    Athena: Now tonight I'm teaming up with Shaz to take on Brock Edwards and Ano Doom. Brock and I still have some business to take care off so I'll leave that idiotic robot thing to Shaz.

    The fans cheer Athena's words, but the cheers are suddenly interrupted by Ano Doom's music.

    Cheers turn into boos as Ano Doom hits the stage, and begins moving down towards the ring, microphone with him the entire way.

    Ano Doom: Don't worry about Mass or Brock Edwards tonight, You don't want let Shaz be the only one with his eye on me...oh no, certainly not. You look the other way, I'm gonna knock your head off, woman or not.

    The crowd boos more from the lack of respect and threatening.

    Ano Doom: Its not a threat either, I'd say its more a warning, if anything. Lose your focus once and I'm gonna take this match and you and Shaz's chances of making it to IJFB.

    Tonight begins another preview of what's coming to the foolish guy facing me on the next PPV....Brock Edwards be damned I could defeat you both alone.

    Shaz's music hits as the crowd explode in the arena with cheers, Shaz makes his way to the ring as he has a mic with him.

    Shaz: Judging from my facial expressions, y'all can tell that I'm not delighted. Yeah, you can say that I woke up from the wrong side of bed this morning. But I walked into the arena, and I immediately get told- that I'm teaming up with Athena. To take on the team of Brock Edwards and Ano Doom.

    Mixed reactions from the crowd as Shaz slides into the ring.

    Shaz: No offense to you Athena, you're a great wrestler with great talent. But is it really appropriate for me to team up with you? Your strength, your abilities are unique for a woman. But come on, you're a mess. However, me and you are probably both confused. For example, I'm confused as to why I'm teaming up with you- whereas you can't decide which gender you are.

    All the Shaz fans cheer the hell out of Shaz, but some fans boo as they're pro-Athena.

    Shaz: And I'll be facing the monster team of Ano Doom, and Brock Edwards. Now that's a good thing. I've never got my hands on Brock Edwards, ever. And tonight- I get a chance to do that. That cocky, arrogant piece of shit has always needed a punch to the nose since his arrival back over at ICW.

    But tonight, I'll gladly do that with no problem. Edwards and Doom are indeed monsters, but that's just on paper. In reality, deep down inside- they are two pussies who can't fight to save their lives.

    Crowd cheer as Shaz laughs.

    Shaz: And Doom, well. Luckily for me, I get to get my hands on you before our brawl at In Justice for Brawl! Trust me mate, I'm going to go easy on you tonight- because I don't want you getting injured for out bout this week. I want you 100% so that way, you don't make another pathetic excuse on how I beat you via luck.

    Crowd cheer Shaz as they repeatedly chant SHAZ as he grins.

    Shaz: The main reason, as to why I'm not delighted though is very evident. It's the fact that I'm competing in a lower-card match tonight. I'm not sure if people are aware, but I'm a world bloody champion, and the baddest thing going in the JBW. As far as I'm concerned, I should be facing the likes of TDA and Tommy Thunder.

    I don't think that JBW know what I've been doing all my life. I've been fighting during my entire life to compete in the bigger leagues. I bet you they think that I've been fighting small, anorexic chumps building up to this moment.

    But no, building up to this moment- I've been brawling with guys from the ghetto. Guys who don't take any shit. Guys who will beat you down, even for the smallest reason there is. Also, I am one of those guys from the ghetto. And this is a massive slap in the face to myself and the whole of the ghettos back in London!

    Crowd cheer in agreement.

    Shaz: As for now, I'm going to use this match as an example of what JBW are missing out on! I'm going to show, that I am the guy that they are looking for! I mean, do they really think someone like Van Hooligan, or someone like Mike Hawk can carry the company as the futures of JBW? No they bloody can't. Why? Because I'm going to. If people thought I came here to fight in the lower leagues- they're wrong. Because I'm gonna show, that I was born a fighter.

    Crowd cheer as Shaz drops his mic.

    Brock Edwards comes running out, and behind him, a referee!

  3. #1283
    Black Ninja! No_1eddiefan's Avatar
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    May 2011
    Birmingham, UK
    Pat: It looks like Athena and Doom will start us off here in this In Justice For Brawl preview!

    The crowd is split in their support for the two competitors in the ring as they lock up.

    Pat: Doomsday Device!

    Athena has Brock Edwards up on her massive shoulders, but as Shaz leaps, looking for the Doomsday Device, Ano Doom chop blocks Athena. The Amazon crashes to the ground, Edwards falls off her shoulders awkwardly, Shaz crashes and burns and Ano is left standing. Brock is the legal man for his team, but that doesn’t stop Doom from going after Athena, whom is also legal. Doom stuns Athena with an uppercut as she gets to her feet before loading her into position for the Cold Blooded Murder.

    Dudley: CBM!

    Pat: But Ano can’t make the cover, he’s not the legal man!

    Knowing that, Doom heads to the outside and unceremoniously flops a groggy Edwards onto the apron and motions for him to go make the cover. Brock, crawling over to Athena, does just that.



    Thre-No! Athena kicks out at the last possible second to a huge pop. Those cheers get louder when Edwards gets up after the pin attempt and turns right around into a Shaz-Ma-Taz from Shaz. Shaz takes himself and Doom out of play with a suicide dive as Athena is the one to crawl into a cover this time.



    Thre-No! Edwards, to big boos, kicks out a millisecond or two after Athena did! Undeterred, Athena gets to her feet, drags Edwards up and, amazingly, gorilla presses’ Edwards above her head.

    Pat: My god! Amazon Slaaaaaam!

    Dudley: No! Edwards slips out the back door! He spins her around….The Next!

    Indeed, Edwards was able to load Athena onto his shoulders and hit her with his version of the F-5 before, very quickly, falling into the cover.




    Darren Black: Here are your winners, Brrrrrroccccckkkk Edwards and Anoooooooo Doooooooooooooom!

    The crowd boo as we gets multiple shots of the carnage in and out of the ring.

    Pat: Wow, what a match! Right now, though, let’s head backstage where I’m being told we have to go!

    *Backstage we see Tommy Thunder getting ready for the main event. He’s taping up and getting his gear on and KJ Punk approaches him*

    Punk: Tommy Thunder. Or is that even your name anymore? You might still be living inside the same shell of Tommy, but the insides aren’t the same. You used to be honorable. Now you’re just barely above the scum of the earth. I was the first person to face this new Thunder. The Dark Thunder. Sure you’re still one of the best, but I took you to your limit. I almost beat you in your first match here in Jabe and I WILL beat you hear tonight.

    Tonight, me, Cage, Divine, Shruiken, and the Champ TDA will beat your team of thugs and lowlifes. It’s a shame that you’ve had to lower yourself to such scum as Ma$$ Dinero, HolyJose, Van Hooligan X and Mike Hawk. I’ll take care of Hawk so that at In Justice for Brawl, I can take the TV title with ease, but don’t worry. After I get done with him tonight, I’m coming after you.

    Thunder: Listen, Punk. I'm all about business. I'm all about doing what's best for business. And right now, that's exactly what I'm doing. I'm saving JBW from the depths of the bottomless cess pit that it's let itself get into. If you can't understand that, if you can't accept that, then fine, I don't care. But that's not going to stop me from doing it. You see I have succeeded like no other in this business. I did it this way in HWA and guess what? I went on to become the first ever HWA World Champion. I then went on to main event Victory Point and became the only 2 time HWA world Champion in the history of the company.
    I did all of that by doing it this way, the same way that I'm going about doing things right now, and now that I'm here in JBW, I'm going to do it all again.
    I beat you last week, and right now you seem to be bitter about it. But that's ok, because you are a division 2 superstar. You're not in my division, you never were and you never will be.

    As for my team, I actually agree with you. I hate Mass Dinero. I do think that he's a piece of dirty scum. I don't like Holy Jose, Van or Hawk. But I don't like Divine, Cage, Shuriken, you or TDA even more. Because you're all a beacon and a walking billboard of what's wrong with this company. And tonight, even if I have to do it all myself, you're going to lose.

    So if you still think that you want to come after me once you fail to win the TV Championship, then be my guest. Because after In Justice for Brawl, we're once again, just like last week, going to see you coming out whining about how you once again came up short in your quest for fame.

    Punk: You see, Tom Tom, that’s where you’re wrong. After In Justice for Brawl, it’ll be YOU whining about how you couldn’t be TDA for the title. You see, you were able to do those things in HWA because it was weak. You came in at the beginning, ran amok, and then split. How’s that good for business? I came into HWA at its peak. Won my only championship in the company as the Clique was forming. Then I stood at the front ground to face them head on before HWA met its end. And where were you during this time? I don’t remember seeing you ready to defend a company that you were an integral part of. You’re all about saving companies now, yet you left HWA to be taken over by a pack of thugs who burned it to the ground.

    And don’t worry about my quest for fame. It’s just beginning here in JBW. I’m getting a rare second opportunity. I’m not saying my first match with Hawk was “once in a lifetime” and that this one if for “redemption,” but I’m saying that come In Justice for Brawl, I will etch my name into the history books as JBW TV Champion.

    Thunder: Take this into consideration; HWA was at it's peak when I was their Champion. HWA's demise started once I left. That's all there is to it. HWA needed me, and once I left it crumbled to the ground.

    I'm going to make it a personal priority of mine to make sure that you get hurt tonight Punk. I'm going to school you in the art of wrestling and show you what it takes to be a champion. And after In Justice for Brawl, I will be the Champion here in JBW and then you'll be looking at me again as the saviour of this company, just as you saw me as the guy holding up HWA on his back.
    So if you'll excuse me, I'll be leaving you now. I'll see you in the ring, Punk.

    Thunder walks out as Punk watches on. We return to ringside.

  4. #1284
    Black Ninja! No_1eddiefan's Avatar
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    May 2011
    Birmingham, UK

    *Israel walks down the ramp without his trademark grin or his arrogant walk and rolls straight in the ring before being handed a mic*

    Israel: I’m going to get straight to the point for the second week in a row, last week I touched on a point which involved the way that Chase 'The Ace' Walker stole my spotlight when he made his debut here and ran his mouth about being the rising star of Total Resistance and this week I elaborate to express my whole distain about KillZone

    *A majority of the fans are seen booing this statement*

    Israel: Yeah Yeah boo all you want but the facts are the facts and Israel made a huge debut here and is still undefeated in this company and yeah even though I have only had 1 match which resulted in a no contest I am still undefeated so my point is actually very simple, I want a match at In Justice for Brawl.

    I want a chance to show you all on the main stage what Israel Pamich is capable all and to be honest it’s a disgrace that I need ask for a match, Israel Pamich should be the guy that PPV's are rostered around so if anybody out there wants to have a lesson in Integrity Honor and Respect then bring yourself down to this ring and accept my gracious offer.

    *Israel awaits any takers when all of a sudden…

    *Chase Walker’s music hits and Pamich turns towards the ramp where Walker makes his way out. Pamich is clearly upset over the fact that Walker is out here. Walker makes his way into the ring, goes over to the ropes and grabs a mic and then begins to speak*

    Chase Walker: Pamich I hear you complaining about how you need more screen time, how shows should be formed around you? If I’m right about three weeks ago you made screen time for yourself, by cutting off mine. Pamich you want screen time here in JBW on KillZone? Then you need to earn it. Earn it by proving yourself at this level. You don’t think I’d like to see more screen time? I’d love to see more screen time, but I also know it’s not my spot right now because there are guys who have come before me, paved the way to start this company, that allows me and you to be here right now. You want to know how I’m going to earn more screen time? By coming out here each and every week giving it my all, taking advantage of every opportunity that is presented… and that’s the way I’ll prove myself and get more screen time.

    *The fans cheer as Walker looks focused on Pamich not taking his eyes off of him, almost not recognizing the cheers of the audience.*

    Chase Walker: And with you coming out here it looks like an opportunity has presented itself. I’ve come to let you know I want to be the person who you face at In Justice for Brawl.

    *The fans let out a loud cheer at the announcement that Chase Walker has offered a match to Israel Pamich’s challenge for IJFB*

    Chase Walker: And isn’t it ironic it’s called In Justice for Brawl? I mean I know I’m an amateur wrestler through and through, but I can brawl with the best of them, and that’s exactly what we did three weeks ago. We brawled. And I won, and if you so gladly accept this match, that’s what will happen once again. So what do you say?

    *Israel ponders for a moment and scratches his chin, then brings the mic to his lips.*

    Israel: Hey Walker I understand about all the past wrestlers that have paved the way for guys like me and I suppose you as well to have a slice of the TV time, but here is the difference between me and you, I have earned that time in the spotlight.

    I am the EWNGP season 1 champion having to beat some of the biggest stars today in Saggitarius Blue, Brock Edwards and Artemis Eclipse and I was seconds away from becoming the IWA endurance champion as well as the TWE IronFist champion and we both know Walker that had TR finished up I would be a champion in HWA by now as well.
    So I have earned the right to be given spotlight time although I am also willing to share the spotlight so let’s throw it on you for a minute shall we? What exactly have you done to earn any opportunities? You finish up in TR then go home, wait for someone to call you 3 months later mind you then you claim to have beaten me in a match that was clearly finished and deemed a tie although if points were scored in professional wrestling then I surely would been awarded the match.

    So you want a match with me at In Justice for Brawl? you have not earned it but sure no problem I am a man of Integrity and I will accept your offer though do me a favor Chase Walker, when I win the match and we both know I will win tell these fans the following KillZone how you earned the screen time to talk about all the excuses I’m sure you will come up with as to why you lost to The One Man DYNASTY.

    *Israel lowers his mic and Walker brings his closer to his mouth.*

    Chase Walker: Alright, then its set. In Justice for Brawl, Pamich… Walker… one on one. But listen up and listen good Israel… you can list all of the accomplishment’s you’ve had so far, and no doubt they are impressive, but you want to know what all those records mean come In Justice for Brawl? Absolutely nothing. Throw your history out the window… and do the same to mine. At In Justice for Brawl I’m going to leave a blemish on your perfect record, and then in your accomplishments you can put that Chase Walker was the one that ruined your perfect record here in JBW. So you can say our first match ended in a draw, that it didn’t count, but when I hit you with the Ace in the Hole out there, I know you realized what you got yourself into… and now you can’t get yourself out. You thought you picked an easy opponent, but now you realize you’ve underestimated me. I not only can wrestle, but I can fight, and I can brawl. You want a repeat of what happened three weeks ago, I’m more than happy to oblige. A dynasty never starts off by losing, they win… Pamich I’m going to end your dynasty before it can even begin… and then you’ll realize never to underestimate or interrupt Chase ‘The Ace’ Walker.

    *Chase lowers his mic, as Pamich drops his and the two stare down face to face. Walker then raises his mic to his lips one more time.*

    Chase Walker: See you at In Justice for Brawl Israel.

    *Walker then drops his mic and leaves the ring to cheers as Pamich stares at Walker, unfazed, all the way up the ramp and to the back where Walker enters.*

    Patrick Riley: Wow! Another match set for In Justice For Brawl!

    Dudley Erickson: Well don’t go anywhere folks! We’ve got a Resurrection rematch to come as Mr. Smyth takes on Vulgar!

  5. #1285
    Black Ninja! No_1eddiefan's Avatar
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    May 2011
    Birmingham, UK
    We return from commercial where backstage, the camera crew makes a quick set up and Mike Hawk and Steve Stevenson are getting everyone into place. Once the set is ready, Hawk and Stevenson take their seats and the director yells action.

    Hawk: Welcome to JBTV, I am your TV Champion of the world, the star of the show, "Mr. TV" himself, Mike Hawk. Now first things first, I have acquired the services of a marketing manager to handle some of my business since being the star of JBTV is so time consuming. Ladies and gentleman, please give it up for my manager, Mr. Steve Stevenson.

    A pre-recorded applause plays as Stevenson is waving at the cameras.

    Stevenson: Now first off let me say that I am honored to be working with Mr. Hawk and I will do my best to help him out. But JBTV wanted me here to assist him in making sure we make his opponents as marketable as possible. Take KJ Punk for example, while he may be big in the Chicago scene, he is a big turn off to other big cities because he associates himself so closely to a city of losers.

    Hawk: But what he did right is model himself after CM Punk a man who is relevant and active today. Not the Rock, who only appeals to the mentally challenged that speak in third person and bitter fans who don't even live in the present. Now you all know I am talking about Chris Divine and while I don't associate myself with that overgrown child, he brought up my name in the finals of Grand Prix 3, saying I haven't done anything since. Divine, I have people who search through shows so if you think that little remark was going to go unnoticed then you are sadly mistaken.

    I won GP2 by beating the man who destroyed you twice in that very tournament. Just because you licked your wounds and one the next one doesn't mean you are better than me. I don't need to be someone else to be cool Divine, because I already am a somebody. Now.....

    ?????: Well, all we need now is a black chick, a wife of a rocker, and this could damn well be the View!

    The fans laugh, as Divine walks into view. Hawk is still sitting there looking at Divine.

    Divine: See, Divine was back here,, anxiously waiting for the huge main event, when he heard, yapping his mouth about Divine, and well of course, Divine has to respond. Would it be right if Divine didn't?

    The fans all cheer no, as Divine just smirks.

    Divine: Exactly. SO Mike, Michael, Mikey, how ya doing there chief? Feeling good with your little "make believe show" holding your third rate title. Divine bets you think you are living the high life. Must see TV, Must See Champion, Must be Full of Bullshit!

    The fans cheer, as Divine keeps rolling.

    Divine: And what about you there Steve-O. What..was your mother so dumb she was worried she'd forget your name so she named you Steve twice? Hell, Divine would have hated to be you as a kid. Let Divine guess, one of your nicknames was Stevie-wevie. Yeah, that sounds about right. Well, Steve pay close attention. You want to talk about a bankable star, you're looking at the million dollar man.

    Divine turns back to Hawk.

    Divine: Hawk, you sit here, running your mouth about the past. Stop focusing on the past. Focus on the now. Like tonight...where Divine teams up with The Devil's Reject, KJ Punk, Malcolm Cage, and Shuriken to take on FatA$$Dinero, Tommy "I'm Not A Storm" Thunder, Vanilla Magilla X, HolyPj's, and you. The All Stars versus the Rejects. Well, except for Thunder, even Divine can admit Thunder is great. Or, look ahead to Injustice for Brawl, where two things are going to happen. First, Divine is going to retain this intercontinental Championship here on his shoulder, no matter who the special ref is. Hell, the special ref could be Kathy Bates...Charlie Sheen....even....Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, and Divine will still walk away the winner. Second, KJ Punk, the guy who you think you are better than, will beat you senseless and take that TV title away from you and make it mean something. KJ Punk is...

    Stevenson: The most boring star on the face of this planet. While we may have complimented him earlier on modeling himself after CM Punk, he will always just be CM Punk Lite+++, a poor mans knockoff. All you are doing is building yourself off of an already established successful market, a feat my client could do better than you.

    *Hawk taps Stevenson's shoulder and tells him he has this.

    Hawk: So welcome to the show Chrissy boy and nice to see that you are still carrying around that 4th rate toy belt so that we know your a big boy. But you are right about one thing, tonight we are going to have television gold. The legend Tommy Thunder, the true "Divine one" Van Hooligan X, the man with the iron fist Ma$$, the greatest Latin American star in the planet, HolyJose and the most watched man in television history, Mike Hawk, all in one ring. But let's take a look at the opponents, a bunch of over ego'd guys in their mid life crisis who just want someone to stroke their egos.

    Divine, the last time I faced Punk, I didn't need a one hour special, I didn't need another episode to reach the conclusion, hell I didn't even have to wait for a commercial break, I had Punk beaten from the get go, I only extended the fight to please my adoring fans world wide because I can't help it if there is no one worthy to take this title off of me. You on the other hand struggled last time with Van, he had you pushed to your limit and yet at the very end, you got lucky and retained. Now the ref might make a difference, but I just can't see you coming back to JBTV with that belt or at all really.

    But that isn't my show to call. What is going to be the talk of tonight however is the show playing tonight....

    Hawk starts his narrator voice

    Hawk: The greatest group of mercenaries (played by Hawk, Ma$$, Thunder, Van, and Jose) have been assembled to combat an illegal diamond mine using slave labor in Africa. However, the owners of the mine (played by TDA, Divine, Punk, Cage, and Shuriken) have banded together to combat them as their troops have been killed or abandoned due to loss of hope. As the slave owners issue an open standoff against our heroes after the heroes destroyed one of the mines, the mercenaries prepare graves to bury the slave owners in. Will the mercenaries be able to put an end to the illegal operations or will the diamond mines remain in commission? Find out tonight!

    Hawk: Now if that is all you came for Divine, I think you should go prepare because you have a match to lose I believe.

    Divine looks at Hawk for a moment, before taking a step forward, as both Hawk and Stevenson stand up, ready to fight.

    Divine: Don't worry, Divine is going to go. Divine is ready for tonight, ready for Divine's match with the Vane One....Divine is ready for it all. Talk all the smack you want Hawk, sit here playing make believe, acting like you are the bee knees when it comes to being a champion...but In Justice for'll face reality. Tonight, Team Chumperino's will fall to Team Awesome. You think these fans listen to you, that these fans enjoy your let's take a test shall we Hawk? For any of those out there in the arena, and the billions at home, who think Hawk is the best, let's here a Hawk is Awesome chant.

    Divine pauses, as the fans are chanting Hawk is lame, over and over, as Divine smiles.

    Divine: Now...if you think Divine is absolutely Divine, let's hear you chant, we want divine.

    Divine pauses, as that chant starts up.

    Divine: See Hawk, you, much like Mr Roman Numeral, live in your own world. this ppv, KJ Punk, Chris "So Fine" Divine, will teach you and Vanessa that your little world's going to be shattered. See you out there.

    Divine turns, going to leave, but stops.

    Divine: Actually, let's put a crack in there right now.

    Divine immediately super kicks Stevenson, sending him back into the chair as he flips over and it and sends the chair onto it's back. Hawk looks Divine, as Divine just smiles turning, leaving and we return to ringside.

    Patrick Riley: Wow! Chris Divine sending a clear message there!

    Dudley Erickson: Well now, it’s time for Mr. Smyth against Vulgar!

  6. #1286
    Black Ninja! No_1eddiefan's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Birmingham, UK

    Mr. Smyth walks through the curtains with both the IWA Endurance championship and the TWE IronFist title on each shoulder to an explosion of boos. Closely followed by Lindsay and Aidan Black, Smyth walks down the ramp, barely acknowledging any of the fans en route. Black, on the other hand, has taken exception to certain fans and even goes as far as to rip one of the signs up in spite.

    All three climb into the ring and as Smyth poses for the fans by holding up both titles, Black walks over to the stagehand and snatches a microphone from him. Black hands Smyth the mic. In return, Mr. Smyth hands the Endurance Championship to Lindsay and the IronFist Championship to Black. Both hold the championships in a manner that displays them as Smyth brings the mic up to speak.

    Mr. Smyth: It’s not normal for me to bring both of my championship titles with me to JBW, however I have bought them here to prove a point.

    You see, I am what you would call a ‘company guy’. I work hard, I show my dedication, I prove my creative intuition on a daily basis, I am very talented in between these ropes as a competitor and as a talker and if you combine those qualities with my well documented track record of business success, it is little wonder why I am one of the hottest assets in this industry.

    The fans boo as both Lindsay and Black hold up the championships.

    Mr. Smyth: That’s why I hold these titles. I surpass everybody else in everything I do and as a result, I reap the rewards. Now, in recent weeks, we have seen a lot of…

    Mr. Smyth gestures his thumb and forefinger to mimic a gun.

    Mr. Smyth:…shoot promos. People being “edgy” because they have real life issues with certain individuals. Here’s the problem: shoots are occasionally good to see, but when they happen more times than I can blink, they become less impactful.

    On top of this, it is wholly unprofessional. You would never see me shoot my mouth off, because in the long run, it is not what is best for business. I deal with my issues backstage and when I come out here, you see a polished, professional approach in everything I do.

    I instil this mentality in all of my employees. Let’s look at Lindsay and Aidan; both are the epitome of professionalism and I am proud that they are here with me in my quest to make this industry a much better place for the future.

    The fans boo.

    Mr. Smyth: One man who does not show professionalism is Vulgar. He may not be shooting like all the other cool kids, but he does say some things that is both asinine and disrespectful. He disrespects me on a weekly basis, and I will not tolerate it anymore. Apparently, my teaching him a lesson just wasn’t enough of an education for him, so I will have to rectify that tonight.

    Tonight, I will be leading by example. Tonight, I will defeat Vulgar yet again in a one on one match up and come In Justice For Brawl, Aidan Black will be finishing off Vulgar once and for all.

    The fans boo yet again. After the boos, a ‘Vulgar’ chant echoes around the arena. Mr. Smyth remains emotionless, while Black gets angry and shouts at the fans. Lindsay moves to calm Black down and after a fiery look from Smyth, Black returns to the centre of the ring silently.

    Mr. Smyth: Aidan is passionate about this business and he is passionate about my path of progression for this business. Step one would be to eradicate Vulgar and after that, I will be on a recruitment drive to build for the future of this business.

    Mr. Smyth points back to his titles.

    Mr. Smyth: There they are, ladies and gentlemen. Proof of just how damn good I am, but the legacy that I will instil into this business is yet to be complete. In fact, it’s just getting started.

    And that…well that’s what’s best for business.

    The fans boo yet again as Smyth hands the mic off to Black. Both Lindsay and Black give Smyth his championship belts back, and he poses in the ring with both of them held high into the air.

    Vulgar comes running the ramp to a big cheer from the fans, ready for his match!

    Patrick Riley: Well, Vulgar getting straight down to business!

    Dudley Erickson: He’s going to get slaughtered.

    Start at 5:00 of first vid. Stop at 10:23 of second vid.



    Pat: Got hi-No! Smyth kicks out! What a match!

    Dudley: Whew! This is what a show at Madison Square Garden is all about!

    The crowd has a thunderous “This is awesome!” chant going as Vulgar and Smyth rise to their feet and start trading blows.









    Dropkick to the jaw by Smyth!

    Instead of going for the cover, Smyth takes his place atop the middle rope nearest to Vulgar and waits for him to get up. He does, turns to face Smyth and gets sent right back down with a second rope spear. Smyth quickly falls into the cover and hooks the leg..



    Thr-No! Vulgar gets his right shoulder up at two and a half.

    With both men tired, the referee gets to a count of four before Smyth gains a vertical base; a tick later, Vulgar is up. Smyth goes for a punch, but Vulgar ducks it, spins Smyth around and nails him with an amazingly speedy powerbomb.

    Pat: Huge snap powerbomb! Now Vulgar is calling for the Out of Tune!

    Indeed, Vulgar heads for the top rope in search of his version of the Superfly Splash. Set on the top rope, Vulgar leaps and connects flush with the Out of Tune and immediately goes into the cover. As he hooks the leg, though, Aidan Black hops up on the apron and gets the referee’s attention. Black holds the ref’s gaze for a moment but, from nowhere, Vulgar elbows him in the side of the head and sends him off the apron. Black deftly lands on his feet, though, and, before Vulgar can slide back into the cover, Aidan attacks him from behind.

    Pat: Damnit! I knew it! A cheap shot by Black and the attack is on.

    As Darren Black announces Vulgar as the winner by disqualification, Aidan Black lays the boots to him. Once he deems Vulgar beaten down enough, Black drags him to his feet and immobilizes his arms for an attack from Smyth. Smyth slowly gets to his feet, laughs at Black’s handiwork and charges Vulgar. When Vulgar slips out of Black’s grasp, though, Smyth clothesline connects on Black and sends them both awkwardly toppling over the ropes.

    Dudley: Oh, jeez…

    The crowd pops like crazy as Black and Smyth untangle themselves and back up the ramp. Vulgar yells out at them before calling for a mic.

    Vulgar: Tonight is just a glimpse, at In Justice for Brawl,
    But before I get onto you to, lets talk about 1 fool.

    Mass-freakin'-diniero - apparently I stole your gimmick?
    I hate to tell ya Massy, but you're just too bland to mimic.

    You have these crazy tours with your best friend Dave?
    I've made my own path, but what about your pave.

    You went to ICW, and got put in the main event,
    You may have been an official, but your legacy needs a dent.

    Whether Cage beats you or not, I'm sure we'll tear each other to bits,
    I may be a wanker, but at least I like tits!

    But what about Smyth, and Black? My opponent coming up
    The only thing you have common with Mass, is that none of you need a cup

    Foreshadowing is a great thing, and In Justice for Brawl - just you wait and see
    I'll beat Black to an inch of his life, that your pants will be soaked with pee

    You got nothing on me! There's a reason I'm the Specialist,
    You won't mess with me once your face gets hit with my fist!

    Justice is coming, and I'll be cunning like a fox
    You two scream and cry, with your little-to-no....

    *The crowd shouts "COCKS", as Smyth and Black look on angrily from outside the ring*.

    Patrick Riley: Wow! What a clear statement from Vulgar!

    Dudley Erickson: What have I just witnessed?

    Patrick Riley: Vulgar clearly means business at In Justice For Brawl!

  7. #1287
    Black Ninja! No_1eddiefan's Avatar
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    May 2011
    Birmingham, UK
    The camera cuts backstage to show TDA sitting in the locker room, his JBW World Heavyweight Championship on the bench next to him. He’s looking down at the floor but soon enough, he looks up and begins to talk.

    TDA: I bet all of you are wondering what I could possibly be thinking about... With my match with Tommy Thunder being just around the corner and all...

    *TDA arches his eyebrow*

    TDA: The days leading up to this match have been undeniably harsh upon my body. That much is true; My age certainly has my number, but my strength and will to carry on will be ALL it takes for me to pick up the victory here tonight on behalf of others.

    *3 minute pause*

    TDA: The time for talking is over.. I am only here for one thing tonight and that is to kick some ass. I wi-

    *Que HolyJose*

    EDITOR’S NOTE: Now, this is the part that HolyJose was supposed to cut in and talk about the main event as well as his match with Ryusuke ‘Shuriken Blade’ Serra. Unfortunately, Jose didn’t get me his promo. Fortunately, I have found a timefiller. Ladies & Gentlemen, Mr. Conway Twitty

  8. #1288
    Black Ninja! No_1eddiefan's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Birmingham, UK
    Patrick Riley: Welcome back to KillZone! And I wanna thank Conway for giving us a personal performance there.

    Dudley Erickson: Well we’ve been told we have a personal message from Jason Alexander. Let’s see what it is.

    The outside of the Eastern State Penitentary located on at 2027 Fairmount Avenue between Corinthian Avenue and North 22nd Street in the Fairmount section of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania is seen.....

    The defunct prison looks beaten down and in a state of decay when the camera continues to see the outside of the prison before standing at the sight of a beaten down door.....

    ...before it opens, falling of it's hinges, revealing it was Jason Alexander who opened the door, a grin on his face upon seeing the door fall off, before speaking...

    Alexander: Sorry about that. It must've been the acid rain and 1971 prison riot damage that finally got to it or maybe....flexes his newly muscled up arms....naw must've been it's time. Just like Juarez's time will come at In Justice for Brawl.

    Alexander welcomes the camera man to enter the prison. The dust and dark surrounding the interior of the prison gives it a very ominous feeling until the center of the prison where sunlight beams down from the a hole in the ceiling shows Alexander. Alexander has drastically changed, his hair now styled back and at shoulder length, his face clean shaven. He's wearing dark blue jeans and black boots and a white t-shirt covered in sweat, blood and dirt showing the incredible depth of muscle Alexander has developed before the camera man stands near him and he speaks again.

    Alexander: Since it was made official....this....prison has been my second home. I've been here learning every nook and cranny, every prison cell this place has including those where some of the most notorious criminals such as bank robbers Willie Sutton and Al Capone were held inside this prison.

    This place where I've trained, where I've bled punching the walls, where I've envisioned the exact way to finally end the excuse of a human being that is Eddie Juarez and those visions have been....grins devilishly....grand.

    Alexander walks to the door that leads to the outside of the prison, motioning the camera man to follow him, opening the locks and letting the sun shine into the prison before stepping outside turning to face the camera man and grabs the camera.

    Alexander: Did you see how the sun shined down on this prison, after all the darkness it's been through?

    Camera man nods and the camera shakes along with his nods. Alexander still holds on to the camera.

    Alexander: That's the same type of light that will shine upon me when I end Juarez. It's been a long time coming this match between him and I but I'm glad it's come to this and now with the JBW World Heavyweight Championship screaming in my ear, that it wants to be in the possession of worthwhile champion unlike the current holder TheDevilsAdvocate, the wannabe champion that is Tommy Thunder, that prick of a brit that is Ma$$, the "Holy Child" that is HolyJose or my oppone...naw, he's just another victim....Eddie Juarez, I know what I must do grant that championship it's wish and be in my possession.

    Alexander lets go of the camera and sprints off to a designated spot staring down at it with intent, the camera man soon catches up to him looking where Alexander is looking himself and we see....

    Camera looks up to Alexander who still looks down but speaks....

    Alexander: This is it. Laughs hysterically The final resting place of Juarez. Down in that hell hole where the rats will feast on his carcass but then again he's too good for these rats to enjoy.

    I've come to finally learn a side of me that I never knew existed and it's thanks to Juarez. Due to us being the rivals that we've been seeing the best and worst of one another and pushing the other to the breaking point....Death Row....that's as brutal as you can get.

    People to this day call Jman vs Hot, one of the best matches of all time due to intensity with which they attacked one another, how they went for it all not leaving any regrets in Essex County but now...Eastern State Penitentiary's Death Row Match between Juarez and Alexander is all people will talk about.

    Alexander finally looks up and stares with intent at the camera

    Alexander: I hope you're ready, Juarez. It's been a nightmare long of a journey for both of us but I'm The Puerto Rican Nightmare, The Destroyer of Dreams and the next JBW World Heavyweight Champion. You want people to remember your name? I guarantee they will when it's forever engraved in stone....your tombstone, that is.

    At In Justice for Brawl, this ends and from the ashes of our sick and twisted rivalry, I will rise like a phoenix to be the man I know I can capable of being. Finally rid of you and moving on to the biggest prize in our sport. Get ready for war, Juarez. I will give you a fight like you've never had and at the end of it all, you will learn to never mess with me again.

    Now....see yourself out, there's only one other I want here and it's Juarez
    ...rubs chin...yes, Juarez.....

    Camera man walks away leaving Alexander alone to his thoughts and the screen begins to fade to black.

    Patrick Riley: Wow, an intense message from Jason Alexander. We’re expecting to hear from Eddie Juarez later tonight!

    Dudley Erickson: He’s gone crazy. The man is living in an abandoned prison? He’s gone crazy.

    Patrick Riley: Well regardless, Eddie Juarez and Jason Alexander will clash in a Death Row match live at In Justice For Brawl! Finally, we get an end to this personal rivalry.

    Dudley Erickson: Okay Pat, but what’s next?

    Patrick Riley: Well after a short break, we’ll have Mr. Black, Anthony Bennett and Tyler Jones of Black Blooded, Elite Bloodline and Predators in Paradise going at it! Don’t go anywhere.

  9. #1289
    Black Ninja! No_1eddiefan's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Birmingham, UK

    Back from commercial and The Elite Bloodline appear on stage to a great deal of cheers before they head to the ring and pick up mics left for them on the teel ring steps. Soon they enter the ring, serious as ever with their TWE Team Combat Championships around their waists before they speak. Hastings speaks first.

    Hastings: My, oh my. This JBW crowd sure knows how to greet The Elite. chuckles Now last week you saw what the 2 so called champs JBW have did. Attack the competition.

    Not something that we think is bad because we've done that ourselves, so are we to judge them, right? What they failed to do was realize that doing so meant they showed fear. Fear of losing the gold and that's a feeling they should have every single time they step in the ring with. Fear.

    Bennett now speaks

    Bennett: Fear is the demise of those who portray themselves to be brave by means of senseless violence. Something Black Blooded is known the world around for and while that may have for them in the past, this is now and we are the future. smirks We are the future. Words to remember time and time again because they never fail to be true. JBW needed a real tag team. A team that can bring prestige to the JBW World Tag Team Championships like no other and so what other logical choice did they have but to hire The Elite Bloodline to dethrone those pricks, Mr. Black and Mr. Blood.

    Predators in Paradise are just a blip in our radar and our sights are set on the gold. Come In Justice for Brawl, Th World Class Ticket to Pain is gonna be on full effect.

    Bennett smiles before speaking once more.

    Bennett: That's right, brother. These teams will soon understand why when they are facing The Elite, we don't come to play. We come to establish sheer and total dominance. No team is like us and will never be.

    So JBW, get set because we are going to be the next wave of progress this company needs to soar beyond anyone's wildest beliefs.

    Hastings finishes things up.

    Hastings: Tonight, my brother Anthony will give the likes of Mr. Black and Tyler Jones a good measure of what they can expect to happen at In Justice for Brawl. Their humiliating defeat.


    *As Black Blooded's theme blasts through the arena, the crowd erupts in a fresh chorus of boos. Near the front row, however is a group of bikers chanting "Black Blooded" as they hold up signs and beer cans. The men ride out, Vivica as always on the back of Mr. Black's bike as they stop at the base of the ramp, parking their bikes just to each side and walking around the ring to the commentary tables, circling the Elite Bloodline like sharks circling their prey. Mr. Blood reaches the timekeepers station, grabbing a microphone for himself and throwing one to Mr. Black as he stares at Hastings and Bennett.*

    Mr. Blood: Fear? Is that the word that found it's way out of that herpes-infested cock-sucking mouth of yours? Fear? You two fucks really think for even the slightest fucking moment that we are the least bit fucking afraid of you? We have put motherfuckers in the hospital that would use your pathetic bodies to floss with. We have destroyed companies that would have laughed your dumb asses right out the fucking door and you think we are afraid of you?

    Mr. Black: We Fear Nothing.

    Mr. Blood: Maybe you boys need to look the hell around, pay attention to just where the fuck you are, open your fucking eyes. This isn't that little shithole indy fed they call "Developmental" where anybody knows or gives a shit who you are, this isn't even the company we walked straight to while you still struggle to make the cut, EWNCW, where we are the Team Hardcore Champions. This is JB Motherfucking W. This is the house that much like ECW was built by a bunch of junkies, drunks and a Jew! This is the company that we walked in and fucking Invaded.

    Mr. Black: One match, One championship.

    Mr. Blood: Maybe you oughta ask Tyler Jones about fear, ask him about the fear he felt the night of our debut here in JBW, as both him and his little weed-fairy friend were both lying in pools of their own blood, simply because they were in our spot. Maybe you should think back to when we took all four of you dumb pieces of trash out. You think it's fear? You think fear made us decide to take you all on?

    Mr. Black: You dumb pieces of shit.

    Mr. Blood: No you ignorant brother-fucking pansy-ass never gonna be shit retards, it isn't fear. It is the clear and solid knowledge that JBW is our jungle and we are the Dominant fucking Predators. For all your shit talking, all your meaningless accomplishments in hole-in the wall companies, all your bravado. Neither you boys, nor those two quiet fucks next to you are anything but prey.

    Mr. Black: Time to hunt.

    *Throwing his microphone aside Mr. Black leaps onto the ring apron, climbing over the top rope to enter the ring. Vivica stands behind him, cheering him on, not seeming to notice the "Crazy Bitch" chants that seem to follow her everywhere.*

    Patrick Riley: Well here come the Predators in Paradise! But I don’t believe we’re going to hear from them, they just wanna get straight down to business!

    Dudley Erickson: Well Tyler Jones is in action with Mr. Black and Anthony Bennett in a slight preview of the match to come at In Justice For Brawl!

    Patrick Riley: Well, the referee has already instructed Blood, Hastings & Kingston are to leave the ringside area! He wants a clean match.

    Dudley Erickson: I don’t think that’s a smart move. We need more tag team action on this show!

    Patrick Riley: Well we’re hearing rumours of a tag team influx recently, so we’ll see where we are after In Justice For Brawl.

    Dudley Erickson: I’m sure Jman has something up his sleeve.

    (Kofi= Tyler)(Cena=Mr. Black)(Orton=Bennett)
    (stop at 6:58)

    Patrick Riley: Big clothesline from Tyler takes Black down!

    Dudley Erickson: But Tyler has to watch out!

    Bennett is back to his feet and he grabs Tyler, backing him into the corner. He begins to chop at Tyler’s chest but Tyler overpowers him and throws him over the top rope to the apron. Bennett reaches his feet and Tyler goes to grab him but Bennett grabs a hold of Tyler’s neck and drives him into the top rope, dropping to the floor in the process.

    Bennett climbs back into the ring as both men are now down. He begins to stalk Tyler, who is climbing back to his feet. He kicks Tyler in the gut and throws him between his legs, setting him up for The Privilege (Sitout Powerbomb), but Tyler grabs Bennett’s legs and picks him up, delivering a spinebuster! He drops down and covers Bennett!



    Bennett throws the shoulder up as Tyler backs away. He turns around to where Black is using the ropes to get up. Tyler runs at him but Black connects with a big boot. He explodes out of the corner with a clothesline, sending Tyler down to the ground. Bennett is beginning to get up and Black turns around to where Bennett is rising. He runs at Bennett but Bennett connects with a Superkick from nowhere! He covers Black.




    Black somehow kicks out as Bennett can’t believe it. He stands up and backs away to the corner. Tyler is beginning to get up again so Bennett runs forwards and delivers a kick to Tyler’s face, sending him down to the canvas again. Bennett grabs Tyler and lifts him back to his feet, setting him up once again for The Privilege. This time, he lands it! He goes for a cover.




    Black breaks up the pinfall and grabs Bennett around the throat! He lifts Bennett up and lands a huge Chokeslam onto Tyler! Bennett rolls out of the ring and Black covers Tyler.




    Darren Black: Here is your winner...Mr. Blackkkkk!

    Patrick Riley: Black did it! But can Black Blooded do it on Sunday?

    Dudley Erickson: Of course they can! They’re the best damn tag team in the world!

    Patrick Riley: Well up next folks, something you will not want to miss. We’re going to hear from the one and only, Ma$$dinero.

    Dudley Erickson: Oh yeah! This is gonna be good.

  10. #1290
    Black Ninja! No_1eddiefan's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Birmingham, UK
    The camera returns to a shot of the backstage area, where we can see a group of officials, security, and medics surrounding someone. One of the security members turns to the camera and yells..

    "Get that camera out of here!!"

    The camera pans away, and suddenly jerks towards a door opening, where Ma$$Dinero and Dave King are shown walking out. Dave is dressed in his usual black suit, shirt and tie, and Ma$$ is casually dressed in a pair of denim Versace jeans, a pair of classic Nike Air Max III, and a tee emblazoned with the words "JUCK FAYMANS VERSION OF JABE"

    The Ongoing Adventures Of Ma$$ And Dave

    Ma$$ is looking slightly peeved. The camera catches the name on the door, revealing that the pair have just left The Bossmans office.

    Ma$$: Dave, is it just me, or does JismMan actually turn into the worlds biggest wanker whenever he's at a Jabe show? Like, everywhere else we go, and talk, he's like my best buddy in the world, but as soon as he puts the captains hat on, he becomes a bigger knob head than S.E.Z ever could be. I can't believe he just called me into his office like I was a fifteen year old kid who just got caught smoking behind the bike shed!

    Dave King: It's not just you, Ma$$. Dude becomes a stinky little shit nugget whenever he's talking about JBW. Anyway, yeah, that was embarrassing for all involved. Did you see the way his nostrils were flaring when he was screaming "WHY'D YOU HAVE TO KNOCK OUT POOR LENNY LIGHTNING AGAIN?!?!"?

    Ma$$: Haha! Yeah, that gave me a chuckle, Dave. He also nearly broke his hand when he slammed it down on his desk and screamed "AND FOR LOVE OF ALL THINGS HWA TWO POINT OH, WHY'D YOU HAVE TO KEEP ON ACTING LIKE YOU RUN THE PLACE?! THIS SHOW IS MINE AND EDDIES TO RUN HOW WE SEE FIT!"

    **side note: JMan never really said HWA TWO POINT OH--the writer of this segment took creative liberties with his recount of what JMan had really said, which was, yep, you guessed it, JayBeeDubbaya!.**

    Dave: Yeah, he was proper trying to put on a brave face there. Props to him for not selling it too much, though. He tore the skin off of his knuckle and everything--I'd have hit the deck and screamed in pain after that.

    Ma$$: Oh look, speaking of hitting the deck.

    Ma$$ and Dave walk past the crowd of security and medics. It is now clear that they were tending to Lenny Lightning. Ma$$ leans forward and quietly says..

    "Sorry 'bout that, L2. My fist and I are like two separate entities sometimes, and, well, I guess you must have said something to piss it off. It can be a bit of a sensitive bitch on the best of days."

    Suddenly Ma$$ raises his right fist, as if he's about to punch himself. He then grabs his wrist and pretends to struggle against his fist, mockingly placing emphasis on his last statement.

    "Whoa, boy!! Easy, tiger!! I didn't mean what I said! You're not a bitch!!"

    Dave begins to laugh, and Ma$$ cracks a smile that he tries to stifle, before giving in and releasing a hearty laugh.

    "Hahaha, not really, Len, my fist hasn't really got a mind of its own--I punched you in the face because my heel persona demands that I behave like a complete and utter cunt."

    Lenny lets out a small groan as Ma$$ and Dave walk off laughing.

    Dave: Heh! Dude probably won't be able to eat solids for a while.

    Ma$$: Might do him some good; he ain't half putting on a little bit of pudding round the ol' midsection, Dave. Anyway, at least he never got as bad a beating as that blokey looking bird, Athena did last week. She really did have it coming, though, no way I was gonna let her pissing and moaning around here go unpunished. That bitch is like a white version of Malcolm Cage, except with more testosterone and a bigger thing swinging between its legs. Speaking of Maaaalcom, let's go to the ring, Dave. I've got a challenge to respond to.

    Ma$$ and Dave continue walking down the corridor leading towards the ring.

    Dave: So, like, anyway. What's up with that five on five match you've been booked in tonight? Talk about putting the cat amongst the pigeons!

    Ma$$: Dave, me being in that match is like putting a fox in a chicken coop and expecting to eat chicken feed. Am I really expected to fucking team with these guys and not get all "Bad News Brown" on them? Just one of those cunts step out of line and..

    Dave: BOOYA!!

    Ma$$: Yup. Boo-fucking-Ya. Like, Ma$$ teaming with Tommy "The Witless Wonder" Thunder and expecting us to get along? Yeah, that'll work out well, eh?

    Dave: About as well as playing snooker with a length of rope.

    Ma$$: Or smoking crack in an attempt to boost your appetite.

    Dave: Don't forget about Vain Hooligan X. There's another recipe for disaster.

    Ma$$: Yeah, me and him are about as cool as wearing sandals and socks at the beach. Oh well, I'm sure he'll behave himself--I know he's a dim little dingus, but even he ain't thick enough to know he'll catch..

    Ma$$ holds up his fist

    .. One of them if he acts up.

    Dave: Yeah, no doubt he'll behave. His consciousness depends on it!

    Ma$$: Oh well, at least that Mike Hawk fella seems alright. I ain't really had anything to say to him, but, man, is he owning that TV title. Dude's like JBW's answer to Will Ferrell or something.

    Dave: Alright, Ma$$, let's not mark out too hard.

    Ma$$: Carry on with that talk, Dave, and I know something that'll be getting marked. Mike's alright, and, let's face it--anyone would have been a better fucking TV champ than Malcolm freakin' Cage--that guy truly put the transvestite into TV!

    Dave: Hahaha, true dat, true dat.

    Ma$$: One person that should have my back is everybody's favourite Mexican powerhouse.

    Dave: Yeah, The Holy One definitely fights the good fight.

    Ma$$: Anyone who takes the fight to ShuriCuntBlade has gotta be alright. Plus, me and him go way back, so, if anything, he knows he'll catch a firm beating if he acts up in that match.

    Dave: I hear that. Speaking of the weirdo that is Shuri, you must be excited to get back in the ring with him--you owe that bastard a good hiding.

    Ma$$: No doubt abo-


    Wait a minute I've got a message.

    Ma$$ takes out his Samsung Galaxy Nexus, swips his thumb on the screen to unlock it, and reads the message.

    Dave: Who is it?

    Ma$$: Haha, it's that chick that I found on Badoo, Dave! What a fine piece of MILF that was! Here, read this.

    Ma$$ shows Dave the message.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ma$$' MILF from Badoo
    OMG my a**e is still killing me you f**king b*****d! Wen u cumin round 2 c me again you sexXxy c**t?! XxXxX
    Dave: Hahaha, you fucking animal!

    Ma$$ begins typing out his reply with lighting fast speed. 2.22 seconds later the message has been sent.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ma$$Dinero
    Yeah, I'm a "give her one in da bum and done" kinda guy. So, like, don't expect to see me anytime soon bitch. Lol.
    Dave's phone beeps as soon as the message has been sent.

    Ma$$: I CC'd you in, bruv.

    He pulls out his iPhone5 and reads the message before cracking up laughing.

    Dave: Hahaha!!

    Ma$$: You're welcome.

    Dave: Haha, you prick! Anyway, where was we?

    Ma$$: Um, I think we was about to lay into the five wankers I'm gonna be facing tonight, but, awww, too late, look, there's the gorilla position.

    Dave: Well, just quickly, before we harass S.E.Z again, let ME say a few things about one of your of your opponents tonight. I just wanna say that TDA is the greatest champion this company has ever known, and if I was management I'd make sure that beast of a wrestler stayed champ for years!

    Ma$$: Oooh, sarcasm. Clearly the promos should be left to me in the future. Anyway, let's not kid people into thinking we think that old bastards even got YEARS left in him.

    Dave: I'd give him a few months tops. Like, that's being generous.

    Ma$$: Yeah, no way that plastic hip is lasting until next Christmas. Right, enough about later. Here we go, bruv. Time to show Cage who he's actually dealing with.

    Ma$$ turns to the camera just before he and Dave reach the gorilla position.

    Ma$$: OK, consider the fourth wall broken, readers. Once my music hits and I walk through that curtain, the mood is drastically going to change. The fun mood is going to degenerate into something vastly darker, and, ultimately, one hell of a batch of freshly baked offensiveness is going to be served. Read on at your own peril.

    Dave slaps Ma$$ on the back, making him turn around.

    Dave: Come on, Ma$$, let's do this.

    Ma$$: Come we do this.

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