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  1. #1141
    Black Ninja!
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    Pyro goes off, the thrashing music of Saliva plays over the loudspeakers, and the lights come up as the third episode of Killzone begins.

    Pat: Welcome to JBW Killzone ladies and gentlemen! I'm Patrick Riley, my partner is Dudley Erikson, and boy do we have a main event for you tonight.

    Dudley: "Shuriken versus TDA! Shuriken versus TDA! Shuriken versus TDA!" Give me a break.


    Pat: C'mon, Duds, even you have to admit it's a dream match.

    Dudley: Maybe, but the real story in my eyes is how Jose and our mystery man will factor into this so-called dream matc
    h.

    Pat: Good point.


    Dudley: Enough about that, though. Let's talk about what else is happening tonight.


    Pat: Alright. We'll have Champion versus Champion when Chris Divine takes on Mike Hawk.

    Dudley: Yup. And the Number one contender for Hawk's TV title will take on a top contender for Divine Intercontinental title when KJ Punk takes on Van Hooligan X.


    Pat: Plus, we're set to see Rob Rage and Vulgar take on the high IQ team of Arthur Lansdale and Mr. Smyth.




    *Black Blooded ride out, Vivica on the back of Mr. Black's bike wearing her new IWA Vanity championship as they ride down the ramp to a chorus of boos, circling the ring twice before parking by the commentary tables. getting off their bikes and grabbing their JBW Tag Team Titles from the handlebars. Mr. Blood demands a couple of microphones from a frightened crew member as they step into the ring*

    Mr. Blood: Champions, That is what you ignorant, sister fucking rednecks see before you, that is what millions of people see on their television sets right now, a vision of something they will never ever be in their entire worthless fucking lives.

    Champions.
    And yet, even though we came in here, tore through the three best teams this aging shit-hole of a company has, and won the championships on our first fucking night, we have not had a match since. Why? Why is it that last week, we showed up talked to some slutty blonde, and then... nothing? And then tonight, we come all the way the fuck out here, walk into the arena and find out we are scheduled to face... Fucking nobody?

    What is the fucking problem here boys? Is there a single team out there, in JBW, or even in the rest of this pathetic industry, that has the fucking balls to come out here and face us? Do we have to bring our own fucking competition here too? This is supposed to be JBW, where the men are real men, the women are real women, and the titties are real big, and so far, it's looking like y'all are one for three.

    *Mr. Blood leans in towards Mr. Black, the microphone just picking up his voice saying "Damn them titties were nice though"*


    So here is what we think, we think that all this shit we have heard. All these tales we were told about how hardcore, how tough, how fucking ballsy the men of JBW are? They were obviously bullshit. I mean fuck, is there a real man back there right now? Much less two?
    *The crowd starts chanting "You suck"*


    Mr. Black: Shut the fuck up!

    Mr. Blood: See you morons can say we suck all you want, but our record here? Well that is fucking spotless now isn't it. Let's count it up, shall we? One Match, One Win, Two New Champions.


    Vivica: And Me!


    *Vivica Struts around, holding her ICW Vanity title high*

    Mr. Black: That's My girl.

    Mr. Blood: See, while every other team back there is pissing their pants, every member of Black Blooded is wearing gold. So how about it boys? clean yourselves up, hang up the phone with mommy, and get your bitch asses out here. We don't care who, but by Fuck the Dominant Predators will have themselves a fucking fight tonight!

    Mr. Black: If any of you have the balls.


    *Vivica takes the microphones and walks outside of the ring, as Mr. Blood and Mr. Black each take a corner of the ring, facing the stage and waiting to see who thinks they have what it takes to face them.*

    Darren Black: The following contest is a tag team match set for one fall. Introducing first making their JBW debut, they are the team of Usain Kingston and Tyler Jones they are.....The Predators in Paradise!!!!

    <strong>
    The Predators appear on stage to a great reaction from the crowd before they head to the ring ready for action. Kingston has a glazed looked in eyes while Jones pumps himself up to dominate.


    Dudley Erikson: Woah! These young guns arrive in JBW, looking to establish dominance and fame as they have done over at IWA.

    Patrick Riley: But this is JBW, where stars are made and broken. Let's see how they fare against the champs tonigh
    t.

    The debuants enter the ring, Darren Black officially introduces Black Blooded and this one is underway.

    e about to show why they are as dominnant a tag team as any we;ve seen in JBW if not more.



    Black Blooded (Kane and Taker) vs Predators in Paradise (Test and Albert) Ignore Trish

    Start at 2:14 - Stop at 6:04

    Mr. Blood sets up Jones near the corner and proceeds to hit right hand after right hand with great force as the ref tells Mr. Blood to get him out of the corner, his pleas go unanswered and he begin the standard 5 count, which forces Mr. Blood to stop his onslaught of punches once the ref's count reaches 4. Jones now drops to a seated position on the ring mat.

    Patrick Riley: Jones looks to be out of it. He's received a lot of damage.

    Mr. Blood wastes no time in driving his thigh right up against Jones' head forcing it to crash against the turnbuckle, laying Jones out completely and the crowd is livid.

    Dudley Erickson: Listen to the crowd, they are letting Black Blooded have it for their actions in the ring.

    Mr. Blood continues to stomp out Jones before placing his neck near the ropes and proceeds to strangle Jones, out Kingston tries to make the save but Mr. Black enters the ring at incredible and lays him out with a big boot. The ref has seen enough and declares this match a no contest much to disapproval of the fans and Black Blooded who continue to attack The Predators in Paradise.



    The crowd comes alive as The Panzer Division storms to the ring and begin to brawl with Black Blooded. Oli goes toe to toe with Mr.black and Karl dukes it out with Mr. Blood. Karl begins to dominate Mr. Blood and clotheslines him out of the ring before aiding Oli and proceed to punch Mr. Blood and set him up for a double suplex but Mr. Black pulls Mr. Blood by his feet out of the ring and proceed to the walk up the ramp while exchanging harsh words with The Panzer Division.

    Dudley Erickson: The Panzers may just saved The Predators in Paradise careers, Black Blooded was laying waste to them.

    Patrick Riley: The Panzer Division is really looking strong against black Blooded so at Resurrection it could really be anyone's game and with the gold on the line this will a match to remember. Let us continue the action and head backstage to Stacey Mitchell.


    Quote Originally Posted by BennyTheBall View Post
    Your anus, K2. Ring is a euphemism for anus.
     

  2. #1142
    Black Ninja!
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    Athena is seen backstage in her wrestling attire standing next to Stacy Mitchell.

    Stacy: Good evening everyone! My name is Stacy Mitchell and I am here with the woman everyone's talking about, The Amazon, Athena. Now Athena you've made quite a name for yourself already here in JBW by becoming the first woman to not only face a man, but defeat him and in your debut match non the less. How does it feel?

    Athena: Well Stacy to be perfectly honest it's all kind of irrelevant to me. These fans, the guys in the back and even you Stacy, you all have one thing in common and that's an over dependence on labels. I'm not talking about the clothes you wear, I'm talking about your need to label things and people as good or bad, black or white, man or woman when in the end it's all the same.

    For a long time I've been told that I can't do this or I can't do that, that girls are suppose to look a certain way or do certain things, but the truth is I don't give a damn. I'm 205 pounds, I can bench press 300 pounds, I don't have a perfect size zero waist and you won't catch me asking you for beauty tips. I'm a machine, I'm a wrestler and I've been underestimated for far too long. It's time for me to show the guys in JBW that a woman can be just as dangerous as any of them and I think I proved my point last week when I beat that drunken fool.


    Stacy: I have to say it's refreshing to see a woman who breaks the mold and sort of redefines the role of women in this sport. That said do you have an ultimate goal here in JBW as far as title belts go?


    Athena: I sure do. I want to be the best and as I said last week I'm not talking about the best of the women. Those are your labels not mine. I want to be the best this sport and JBW has to offer and to do that I plan to become the World Heavyweight Champion or to put it in words you and these fans can understand the first woman to become World Champion.

    Stacy: Well I certainly wish you luck on that Athena...

    Before Stacy's done talking Brock walks up to her and grabs the mic from her hand.


    Brock: So this is what we have here in JBW. A woman who wrestles worthless, pathetic pieces of trash. Maybe, I got the wrong idea of JBW. What woman would be proud of beating some drunk ass bitch like Drunk Jose? I mean sure you can call yourself the victor and the first woman to wrestle a man in JBW. However, can we even call that pathetic piece of trash a man?

    Maybe you can, so you can gain some sort of confidence, but really you are just living a lie. You see I have come to JBW to prove that I am The Next Big Thing. However, I actually care that people here are actually worth of some credibility and yet I don't see that. However, I will tell you this Athena. You need a real man, a man of real force, a dominant man, a man with strength, a man with real power. Think about it Athena.


    Brock shakes his head and walks away as Athena glares at him and we fade to break.


    Quote Originally Posted by BennyTheBall View Post
    Your anus, K2. Ring is a euphemism for anus.
     

  3. #1143
    Black Ninja!
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    *As we come back from break, Ano Doom is facing away from the camera with his hood on the white blood stained sleeveless jacket pulled up on his head. He slowly turns around and lets back the hood,revealing his bloody half hockey mask and a face full of tattoos,laced with several facial piercings as well ,along with a stubblish black five o'clock shadow on the side of his face that is showing. *
    Ano Doom:In a short matter of time I'm lined up for the next big fight, against the naive young man who I'm going to mercilessly tear limb from limb all evening long at "JBW Resurrection". He made the grand mistake of challenging me to this and J-Man made the even bigger mistake of making the match official. Don't these men know Shaz is not in my league at all? The minute he steps into the ring with me will be the moment he is outmatched,put away already. He can not stop me in speed,strength,wrestling,or just pure raw skill,even though he claims to be,the best in the world. I'm sick and tired of all his pissed mode nonsense,he's like a mosquito to me,For just like everyone else around here...Just like Azrael,Just like when I assaulted Shaz and left him laying in that match,I'm going to crush him at Resurrection I'm going to take his head,break his neck,snap his ankle and then...Rip him in two! What I'm saying is this is the time of The Demon Cyborg. I want a fight and match after match after match,which is the reason that brought me here to JBW,and I am going to take victory again in the 2nd round ,Then its onto the next go around with who so-ever i should face next,be it knocking Shaz out again or sometime entirely different,I'm not going to ever stop the rush of offense I let burn onto everyone around me...One by one...Or all at once...I've said before and all say it again: All challengers welcome. Come one come all. All of you against just the one of me. I...Will...Not stop. Bring the fight to me before I bring it your way. Shaz you might not even make it past Malcolm Cage tonight,and even he knows he's not exactly everyone's pick for top star in JBW,if you can't defeat him you will not be able to stand with me for for 5 seconds...I'm going to knock you out Shaz...I promise you...It may even be...Tonight.


    The JabeTron fades back to live action as the crowd boos.


    Pat: Shaz will be in action against Malcolm Cage later on and it seems like Cage isn't the only thing he'll have to worry about in that match.

    Dudley: No, Doom is gunning for him.




    *KJ Punk makes his way out to the ring with his “Chicken Dinner” t-shirt on. He climbs into the ring and is asks for a microphone. He brings it to his lips to address the crowd.*


    Punk: How is the Jabe faithful tonight?

    *The crowd pops*

    Punk: That’s good. I’m doing pretty good myself. First, I wanna talk about my Television Championship match coming up at Resurrection. Mike Hawk, who just released his first t-shirt “Lame Pun Coon,” will be facing the One and Only KJ Punk. Hawk, I know you think that I’m just another one of your “guest stars” in your ongoing of crap TV, but I’m here to tell you that after Resurrection, I’ll be getting my own spin off while you get cancelled.

    *The crowd pops*

    Punk: I’m going to take that title and be back around a deserving champion’s waist. I’ll do more than run my mouth about how I’m this big, bad unbeatable man, because I’m not. No one is. But what I am is full of heart. And I won’t be out-worked or out-wrestled. I won’t quit and I will be the new TV Champion come Resurrection!


    *The crowd pops again*

    Punk: But tonight, I’ll be facing a man who I’ve wanted to get my hands on for a while. He runs around trying to run down people and always calls the boys in the back “boo boo.” He apparently gets a hard on from “rustling people’s jimmies” whatever the hell that means. That man is Van Hooligan X. He’s a man that’s been a cancer for many of the federations that I’ve worked for and it appears that this one will be no different. So, tonight, Van will get the fight of his life. He’s a helluva competitor, but he’s arrogant and that’ll be his downfall. And tonight when I beat him I’ll climb the turnbuckle and yell….

    *KJ points to his shirt as the crowd chants WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER!!!!!!!!!!!! KJ tosses the microphone out of the ring into the hands of the stage hand*


    Pat: Well, Duds, Punk will be back out here later for that match with Van, but right now, let's catch up with the boss.

    Dudley: Bruce Springsteen is here?!

    Pat: No, you idiot, Jman!

    Dudley: Oh.........


    The JabeTron cuts backstage to Jman wandering the halls. The crowd pops for our General Manager as the cameraman following him begins to speak.

    Cameraman: Where we headed, boss?

    Jman: To find “The Most Dangerous Mexican in JBW” or whatever he calls himself.

    Cameraman: Ha! Juarez?

    Jman: Yep. And there he is!


    Indeed, down the hallway a bit, Eddie Juarez is walking with his back to Jman. J calls Juarez’s name, getting his attention, before walking toward him.

    Jman: Eddie, man, go home. You’re not booked for anything tonight, you’re getting ready to go to war with Alexander; why are you even here? Go home and rest up.

    Eddie turns around and looks straight at J as the cameraman reaches him. He smirks.


    Eddie Juarez: Esse! I just wanted to let you know what a great job you’re doing at the top of JBW. I couldn’t think of a better man to ruin everything I am building up here.

    The fans in the arena boo loudly and a small Jman chant begins.

    Eddie Juarez: Now don’t get me wrong homes, I’m not going to come here and claim to be the best wrestler of all time, because that spot has already been taken by the late, great Eddie Guerrero- but what you’re looking at is the second greatest wrestler of all time. And I should be treated with more respect hombre.

    Because last week, I got an entire arena chanting my name against a man all of these people in the arena actually give a damn about- because week in, week out, that man is getting the attention that others such as myself deserve and crave. And now this week, I find out that The Most Dangerous Man in the World isn’t booked for a match? This place is lacking.

    Because unlike Jason Alexander, last week- I actually won my match. I beat KJ Punk one, two, three in the centre of that ring. While he just got his ass kicked by the JBW Television Champion, Mike Hawk. So do you see the problem here? Let’s get something straight too Mister General Manager. You were there on the night of Do or Die. You were as shocked as anybody when Jason Alexander stepped through those curtains but not as shocked as I was when he took me down.

    You saw what we’re both capable of doing at Blood Harvest when we ruined an entire staging area, and at Resurrection- his blood will not only be on my hands- it’s going to be on yours too. You’re supposed to protect your talent. Instead, you’ve put Jason Alexander right in the firing line. At Resurrection, JBW may be rising, but that will also be a night of execution. Jason Alexander’s execution.

    And who will deliver that execution- the man who has come to save JBW from itself. The man who forced the tyrannical people behind the scenes to leave. I’m JBW’s saviour. Me. Eddie Juarez.

    Remember the name.


    J’s voice has taken on a rougher tone as he speaks again.

    Jman: Look, Juarez, you and Alexander are both putting yourselves in a very dangerous position. Do or Die might go down in the history books for another reason, but the only part of that night that is yet to be resolved is the beef between you two. At Resurrection, that ends. What I’m worried about, to be completely honest with you, is your lackadaisical attitude toward Alexander. If I had to pick, I’d say you’d be the one getting carted out of that match because you’re far too confident going into it.


    There’s a mixed reaction to that as Jman continues.

    Jman: But, you’re right. Last week, you outwrestled Alexander and then you outtalked him. A Jabe crowd will always respect performances like that and now they’re chomping at the bit to see you in action. So, for them and for you, how ‘bout this for next week? Eddie Juarez versus Ano Doom. You want more TV time? There you go.

    Jman walks away to a mixed reaction from the crowd. We’re left with a shot of a clearly upset Eddie Juarez as we fade to break.


    Quote Originally Posted by BennyTheBall View Post
    Your anus, K2. Ring is a euphemism for anus.
     

  4. #1144


    Chris Divine walks out from the back with the Intercontinental Championship on his shoulder. He is in his usual garb, baggy jeans, polo shirt, backwards cap. He is now wearing shades this time as well, as he walks down the ramp and into the ring. He turns, climbing a corner where a poses with the belt as flashes go off. He steps down, reaching through the ropes where he is handed a mic. He turns back to the center of the ring, as his music fades.

    Divine: Last week, Divine experienced two things. Do you know what Divine experienced?

    Fans: What

    Divine: Divine experienced loss, and Divine experienced dealing with a chucklehead. Two things Divine doesn't particularly like. Now, if Divine was experiencing a win, and experiencing beating down a chuckle head...well Divine would probably come out here farting rainbows and smiles and be the happiest wanker walking out here. Instead though, Divine had to deal with garbage. No offense Darius. Now, Divine could sit here and say that you got lucky over Divine, or your cheated, but Divine won't do that. Divine isn't some chumpette that will pass off a loss by some excuse. Divine lost, plain and simple. The fact of the matter is though Darius, if Divine and Darius were to go toe to toe once more, the results wouldn't be the same, chumperino.

    The fans are chanting chumperino, as Divine grins.

    Divine: Now, Divine dealt with a chucklehead last week. That chuckleheads name was Van Hooligan X. Yes, the jackass whose last name is a roman numeral. Hoolie, Divine knows you are listening back there. Last week, Divine offered a chance of a lifetime. A chance to go 1 on 1 on 1 with the Divine One. What was your answer? No!

    The fans start chanting bullshit over and over, which Divine nods to.

    Divine: Damn straight bullshit. You are taking a great match out of the billions....

    Fans: AND BILLIONS

    Divine: of Divine's adoring fans hands. These fans want to see Divine kick your rooty pooty ass from here to not kingdom come. So, Jman, Divine is sure you are sitting back there listening, so get your ass out here and make it official for Resurrection, Chris Divine vs Van Hooligan X. Come on Jman, get out....



    The crowd explodes with cheers as the TWE champion makes his way onto the stage with a grin on his face and a microphone in hand. He makes his way down the ramp, giving some fans a high-five on the way down before he finally slides into the ring and stands on the other side of Divine. Darius extends his hand to Divine, and Divine accepts the handshake. Darius releases the shake.

    Darius: Chris, I need you to hear me out man. We had an amazing match last week, match of the year candidate for sure! The people got to see what they paid for! The fans come to see their favorite performers wrestle each other til the very end, and that is what we gave them, Chris!

    The fans pop

    Darius: Do you hear that? They agree with me, Chris. They loved seeing Darius vs. Divine! Now I understand you are a little ticked over the fact that I pinned you ... But from what I know, if someone pins a champion in a non-title match up, that person become the number one contender, correct?

    The crowd explodes with cheers

    Darius: Listen, I hate Van as much as the next guy ... Actually, I hate him more. He has done nothing but screw me over since I got into this industry, but I'd love to add another championship to my resume and also become a dual champion! I pinned you last week Chris, so I am the rightful number one contender for your Intercontinental championship. Lets give the fans the match they REALLY want to see! Darius vs. Divine II: Intercontinental Championship Match! What do you say, Chris?! Take the ...

    Van: Whoa now! Let's slow this down a second!


    *The Vanity walks from the back into view and gets a nice warm welcome...Well, in terms of volume anyway. Shame it's angst and hatred. He appears to be cocky just as ever as well.*

    Listen ladies, let's not lose all forms of common sense out here. It's the very least you 2 idiots could give me.

    Darius, you really can't be that fucking deluded can you? If winning 1 match meant anything anywhere RamJam would of been a nominee for superstar of the year! No. This won't do. Such flawed logic isn't suitable for even these idiots and more importantly...

    Me.

    You have to look at the bigger picture in all this man. Divine wants to fight with someone who's actually done something important with their careers. Now if only we could find someone like tha--Wait! How about,now bare with me here, myself!

    Think about it, Divine stupidly attacked me to cost me the match against TDA which rightfully means I should do 1 better and take his championship away from his dirty little hands.

    I mean, you could both clone yourself 4 times over and I'd still own you both. You know this makes perfect sense. I am Van Hooligan X. I am 1 of the best around and you 2 need to come to your sense in realizing that I am that titles future regardless of what you 2 little pigs yap on about.




    All three men are about to come to blows when Jman comes striding through the curtain. .J quickly walks down the ramp and slides into the ring. As he reaches for a mic, the crowd responds to the scene in the ring with an HWA chant. The Killzone GM smiles at that before starting to speak.

    Jman: No, folks, if this were HWA Van would be getting his ass kicked right now.

    The crowd, Darius and Divine all get a chuckle out of that. Van, however, doesn’t.

    Jman: Anyway, to this little situation. Chris, both of these guys have a really good point as to why they should get an Intercontinental Championship shot. Darius, you beat the champ last week fair and square. That, in my eyes, just about guarantees a challenger a title opportunity. And Van, for every reason you stated, I’ve been nothing but impressed with you since Blood Harvest.

    There are some boos at that last bit, but J continues on.

    Jman: So, I have a dilemma. Normally, I’d stick you two *points a finger each at Van and Darius* in a number one contender match but considering the history all three of you have with one another, that doesn’t feel right. Instead, at Resurrection, let’s have ourselves a triple threat match. It’ll be Darius versus Van Hooligan X versus the champion; Chris Divine with the Intercontinental Championship on the line!

    Van and Divine and Darius all stare down as we head to a commercial break
    S.E. Zero is now Luizero. Look him up

  5. #1145
    Patrick Riley: Well folks, up next, it’s time for a number one contender vs number one contender match!

    Dudley Erickson: I can’t wait for this!




    Patrick Riley: KJ Punk has been very impressive since his redebut at Blood Harvest, and he won a gauntlet match on the first episode of KillZone to win a shot at JBW Television Champion Mike Hawk for Resurrection.

    Dudley Erickson: Last week though, he fell to Eddie Juarez!




    Patrick Riley: And as for Van Hooligan X, he actually fought for the JBW World Heavyweight Championship on the first episode of KillZone.

    Dudley Erickson: And he deserved it. When he wins the Intercontinental Championship at Resurrection, you’ll all see what a great talent Van is.


    KJ Punk (Punk) vs. Van Hooligan X (Bryan)


    (stop at 13:12)

    Patrick Riley: Van just kicked out!

    Dudley Erickson: What resilience!


    Punk can’t believe it as he complains to the referee that was a three count. He backs up to the ropes as Van begins to get back up. He turns to face Punk, who runs forwards and goes for a Rolling Elbow but Van ducks under, reaches behind himself and hits a neckbreaker. He scrambles across and goes for a cover.

    One!

    Two!

    Punk kicks out as Van backs up to the ropes and begins to get up. He begins to viciously stomp on Punk’s chest and stomach, before dragging him to the corner. He props Punk up in the corner and backs up, before running forward and hitting a clothesline. He hits an arm toss on Punk out of the corner and locks in an armbar. Punk begins to scream as he grabs at the mat, trying to claw across to the ropes.

    Punk manages to twist around and go for a sleeper hold, but Van headbutts Punk in the face before letting him go. He drags Punk up, before hitting the Van Hammer! He drops down and covers Punk.

    One!

    Two!

    Three!


    Darren Black: Here is your winner....Van...Hooligan...X!

    Patrick Riley: Massive victory for Van here!

    Dudley Erickson: This will earn Van the momentum he needs heading into Resurrection.
    S.E. Zero is now Luizero. Look him up

  6. #1146
    We head backstage again and in a scene familiar to last week we have Stacey Mitchell standing by to interview another JBW superstar. This week she's wearing a blue dress, cut as low as last weeks, which barely spares her blushes.

    Stacey Mitchell: Stacey here again to bring you another interview, fresh from the presses this week joining me is.. wait.. him again? But he was so rude to me last week!

    Stacey stares passed the camera to her director who mumbles something inaudible to her, she stares back at the camera and sighs.

    Stacey: With me once again.. Arthur Lansdale..

    Lansdale walks into shot, arms folded and scowling as usual, staring in disdain at Stacey who looks back at him quizzingly before she realizes what he wants.

    Stacey: Beg pardon.. Mr.. Arthur Lansdale..

    Lansdale: And it only took you TWO attempts to get it right, if only I had a treat to give you to reinforce your training. Stacey, I am SO happy to be here yet again.

    Lansdale rolls his eyes to accompany the sarcasm, Stacey looks at her director again before taking a deep breath and continuing.

    Stacey: Believe me.. I'm as thrilled as you are.. and I'm not a tart.. tarts are for eating.

    Lansdale groans audibly as if the last comment pained him to hear.

    Stacey: Last week..

    Lansdale: I had my fill of inarticulate questions last week, for your own benefit this week you will stand and listen. With any luck, my wisdom may actually filter down into that sponge of a brain you possess, and the world will be a better place with one less mindless dolt in existence. Last week, as you so bluntly began, the world of professional wrestling was given its first taste of the punishment I have in store for Robert Rage, albeit a tainted sample.

    Were he not so fortuitous, and had our.. illustrious.. authority figure, Jman, not robbed me of the chance to strip him of a title well above his station.. Robert Rage would already be but a distant memory here in JBW. Even the most ignorant of imbeciles that lined the stands at last weeks arena could see the look of sheer relief upon his face when our match was canceled.. he knew.. I knew.. you all knew that his time was at an end. I liken him to a desolate inmate on death row.. praying that the warden might pick up the phone and hand him a reprieve.. a reprieve that he did indeed receive.


    Lansdale sneers at the camera as he continues to ignore Stacey.

    Lansdale: However, his well of fortune was soon to run dry, my hunger for the eradication of this fool was partially satisfied.. with the announcement that we would still in fact have a match to wrestle. The look upon his face was priceless.. all life and energy drained from him, he thought he'd escaped one of Mr Arthur Lansdale special lessons for the remedial.. reality is cruel, Robert. The match was one sided, myself and my partner.. HolyJose.. dominated from the first bell to the last, Rage and Shuriken were lambs to the slaughter. The rightful team came out victorious.. the only sour taste that remains in my mouth is that Jose robbed me of hearing the terrified screams of agony that were moments away as I locked in any one of my armoury of submission holds. But perhaps it was for the best.. if I am to end the miserable career of that deluded wretch.. I want to do it myself.. alone.. one on one.

    You see, at Resurrection.. the reprieve that you received last week Robert.. will come to an end. Your title will no longer be safe.. when you step through those ropes I will take great pleasure as I look into your eyes and see the stare of a man who knows his destruction is nigh. You will be an example.. I will show the world what it means to oppose intellectual thought and idea.. I will show everyone what it means to stand against the truly divine force that is Mr Arthur Lansdale. Bones will be broken.. muscle and sinew torn.. you will all bear witness to a wrestling masterclass as I maul Robert Rage. And as your new Underground Champion.. I will drive those vile heathens that fill your minds with drivel and falsities out of professional wrestling. I will be a beacon of brilliance, a symbol of sense.. the standard bear of intelligence. Robert Rage will be broken.. mark my words.


    Stacey: I..


    Lansdale glares at Stacey as she tries to talk, shaking his head at the perceived lack of respect.

    Lansdale: Hold your tongue brain dead Barbie, we've heard enough from you! Tonight, I pledge to give the dolts and simpletons watching yet another taste of the lessons I will teach Rage. Once again I find myself in a tag team match.. once again I find myself forced to partner someone to whom I hold no allegiance.. but for once I applaud the choice of ally given to me. Mr Smyth and myself have much in common.. intelligence.. devilish good looks.. a burning hatred for ignorance and incompetence.

    Most important of all we are BOTH superior in ALL ways to Robert Rage.. his boast of being 'Best of British' holds as much water as a pale with a hole in the bottom.. he doesn't even make the top two. Our victory is sealed.. just look at the buffoon Rage will be teaming with tonight. A Vanilla Ice tribute act.. disgusting. Rap music is the bane of all intelligent though.. the lowest form of entertainment.. and I include the mind rotting cartoons that children watch these days. Vulgar by name.. vulgar by nature.. yet another scum bag poised to drive the sanity of the world to new lows.. disgraceful.


    Lansdale looks at Stacey and shakes his head again.

    Lansdale: This interview is over.. now go change, you look like a cheap harlot.. filthy!

    Lansdale storms off camera leaving a dazed Stacey just staring at the camera speechless as we take a commercial break
    S.E. Zero is now Luizero. Look him up

  7. #1147
    The screen shows JBW interviewer Stacy Mitchell in the interview area accompanied by Rob Rage sporting a nasty looking bruise on his jaw where he got hit last week by Jose with his pair of knuckledusters in last week’s main event

    Stacy Mitchell: I’m standing here at the moment with none other than the current reigning JBW Underground Champion and a man we now know will take on Arthur Lansdale at our next PPV Resurrection for that very title: Rob Rage!

    A cheer can be heard from the arena at the sound of Rage’s name, which brings a smile to his face, which seems to cause him some pain as he immediately winces and lifts a hand up to his jaw

    Rage: Thanks for the introduction Stace

    Stacy: Um… No problem. Now speaking of your match against Arthur Lansdale at the next PPV, what are your thoughts on it being moved from last week’s main event to Resurrection?

    Rage: My thoughts? Well, the way I see it, Lansdale escaped. He was going to have his big chance to shine and then I was going to beat him. Now he gets to cling onto his relevance a little bit longer, but make no mistake, the result is going to be exactly the same. Sure, it may not be the same time anymore, but it’s going to be in the same place and have the same ending. Rage Bomb, one two three.

    Now as for the actual movement of the match, I guess you could say I understand it. Hey, if I’m honest at the time I was a little annoyed, I was all ready to go out there and tear that prick’s head off, and in the end as you can all see at home *points to his jaw* that wasn’t how it went down in the end.

    But I can understand it. That match was a big draw. No doubt about that. Don’t get me wrong, Lansdale is good, and a deserving challenger to my title. A snot nosed prick, obnoxious as hell, but good none the less. The match was a draw, and I can understand JMan wanting it as a PPV attraction. I guess you could say, to steal a phrase from one of my opponents for tonight, it’s what’s best for business.

    Stacy: So instead of defending your title in last week’s main event, you were put into a tag team match teaming with Rysuke Serra against Lansdale and Holy Jose. Things didn’t exactly go as planned in that one and you came up on the losing end. What went wrong there?

    Rage: What, you mean apart from the ref missing Holy Jose fracturing my jaw with a pair of knuckle dusters? If I’m honest, I was really happy with the way the match was going up to when it broke down. Teaming with a legend like Serra was a great experience, and I’d say we’d had just about the better of the match until, like I said, everything broke down. After that, they just out cheated us.

    Now Lansdale’s been going around saying that HE beat ME in that match, and that that’s a precursor to things to come. Well for a start off that’s just plain bullshit and everybody knows it. He didn’t beat anybody. Jose beat me with an assist from a pair of ‘dusters; that’s the long, short and end of it.

    And as for you beating me for that title… Well give it a couple of weeks and we’ll find out won’t we, because healed jaw or fractured jaw I’m going to be heading into Resurrection with every intention of defending the Underground Championship, and to take it from me you’re going to have to best me, and very few people on this earth can do that. Come Resurrection, you’re either going to have to be damn good or damn lucky to walk away with this belt, because I certainly don’t plan on losing it.

    But I’ll give you credit, last week you came up on the winning side, but tonight’s my opportunity for revenge. We’ve got another tag team-


    Rob suddenly gets distracted by somebody off camera

    Rage: *sigh* Speak of the devil. I knew it wouldn’t be long before you came to pay me a visit after I used your “oh so precious” catch phrase. What do you want, suing me for gimmick infringement?

    The camera pans to the right and the crowd boos as Mr. Smyth appears on the screen with an amused look on his face. His personal assistant, Lindsay, is standing next to him, flicking through her PDA.

    Mr. Smyth: Certainly not. If you want to use a term that I have become known for, then you go ahead. It certainly was fitting how you used it, so I have no complaints.

    Mr. Smyth walks towards Rob so that both men are standing either side of Stacy.

    Mr. Smyth: You see, that’s what I like about you, Robert. You can see that there is a bigger picture, and you appreciate that the bigger picture is more important than the here and now. Unfortunately, you tag team partner for tonight doesn’t have that vision.

    The crowd boos.

    Mr. Smyth: He still thinks that if he continues telling his nursery rhymes about homosexuality, endowment and Old Mother Hubbard, then he is on his way to success. Now you may not say this publically, Robert, but you and I both know that this is a fruitless avenue for Vulgar.

    Vulgar. The name itself makes you wonder what the thought process was. Who thought it would be a fantastic idea to call themselves a name that is renowned for being a negative. Clearly this man cannot be trusted to look after his own affairs and if Vulgar has an agent, then that agent is doing a poor job. This is why I have offered my guidance to the young rapscallion. He needs someone to look up to. He needs someone who will put him on the straight and narrow. I’ve worked with plenty of people like that in my enterprise, and the reason I do those things is because I see potential in those individuals and I have proven to be right – many of those guys and girls are now in important positions in my business. They have learnt from me and as a result, they have become better people. Better people who are accepted by society. In fact, there is an example of that very point in this room. Lindsay, why don’t you come over here?


    Lindsay walks into shot.

    Mr. Smyth: Lindsay here grew up in Peckham. Now I know that means nothing to our American troglodytes, but...

    The crowd boos.

    Mr. Smyth:...but Peckham is a suburb of London and is one of the worst places you can grow up. Lindsay was a teenage runaway. She got into drugs and even went through a period of self-harm. Now I started a programme to get kids like Lindsay off the streets and make them better people. Lindsay was one of my first projects, if you like, and now look at her – an intelligent, fine young woman who has a prosperous career ahead of her. Isn’t that right, Lindsay?

    Lindsay goes to answer, but Mr. Smyth turns away from her and faces Rob again.

    Mr. Smyth: Vulgar needs help. That much is clear, but I won’t do everything for him. I have offered up this opportunity and it is now up to him to take advantage of that. I don’t want to be crude about this, but I’m not going to wipe his arse for him.

    The crowd boos yet again as Rob Rage mouths the word "Nice."

    Speaking of opportunity, I am looking forward to getting in the ring with you again for the second time in less than a month. You proved to be a very worthy adversary last time, and I look forward to the challenge again. I’m also looking forward to tagging with Mr. Arthur Lansdale.

    The crowd provides the loudest boos of this segment.

    I like that man’s attitude and his work ethic, and I am certain that we will work as a very good team. So good luck this evening, Robert. With Vulgar as your tag team partner, you’re going to need it. Good to see you too, Stacy.

    Stacy smiles as Mr. Smyth and Lindsay walks away from Rob Rage, talking about a new business venture. The final shot is of Rob Rage looking rather nonchalant.
    S.E. Zero is now Luizero. Look him up

  8. #1148
    Patrick Riley: Strong words from Smyth and Rage, it's to be expected of such fine JBW superstars and speaking of them, their tag team match is up next.

    Darren Black: The following contest is a tag team match set for one fall, introducing first the team of Arthur Lansdale and Mr. Smyth!!!!


    Lansdale and Smyth head to the ring to the very clear and powerful disapproval of the crowd.

    Patrick Riley: A very unlikely combination set to team up to face off against their respective rivals heading into Resurrection.

    Dudley Erickson: That's right, this match should be quite interesting to ay the least.

    Darren Black: and their opponents the team Vulgar and the JBW Underground Champion!!!! "The Best of British" Rob Rage!!!!!


    The crowd comes alive as Rage leads the way towards the ring, Vulgar not too far behind before Rage lifts the gold up high as fan take numerous pic and cheer loudly.

    Dudley Erickson: The fans sure seem love these 2. Rage being the champions certainly an appeal that fans can't seem to resist.

    Patrick Riley: Indeed. His rivalry with Lansdale has been an exciting one thus far and only looks to get better with the gold on the line at Resurrection. Now let's begin the action.




    Rage and Vulgar (Joe and Magnus) vs Lansdale and Smyth (Daniels and Kaz)

    Start at 0:47 - Stop at 7:23

    Rage with the big right hand on Smyth. Rage now lands a big time clothesline that sends Smyth down to the mat hard and the crowd is electric.

    Patrick Riley: What a hit from Rage, Smyth might be out of it.

    Rage picks up Smyth sends him towards the ropes and connects with the Double R Spinebuster (Spinning Spinebuster) off the rebound and goes for the cover....

    1...................2................-

    Smyth kicks out and the crowd boos heavily, thinking was about to over.

    Rage, however, wastes no time and picking up and soon lining up Smyth for the Rage Bomb but Smyth, hooks his leg with Rage's to prevent Rage from lifting him. Shortly after Rage tries again but Smyth till prevent the Rage from being complete, now Smyth breaks fee of Rage's hold and clubs him with an elbow to the side of the head before finally making the tag to Lansdale.


    Dudley Erickson: A much needed tag from Smyth to Lansdale, this could th turning point of the match.

    Lansdale stalks Rage looking to connect The Lansdale Lockdown (Million Dollar Dream) but a distraction from Vulgar, who picked up a mic in the outside before entering the ring looking to drop a verse or two is enough to make Lansdale lose his focus off Rage to connect a big boot on Vulgar to send him flying out of the ring....Rage comes up behind him with the roll up....

    1.....................2........................... ...3!!!!!!


    Darren Black: Here are your winners.....Vulgar and the JBW Underground Champion!!!! Rob Rage!!!!

    Patrick Riley: What a win for the team of Rage and Vulgar, with Rage getting the pinfall over Lansdale no less. Though it Vulgar, who's now recovered and Mr. Smyth are getting into a very heated argument in the middle of the ring...this could get ugly..




    Just as Vulgar and Smyth are about to maul one another again, our General Manager walks through the curtain to a big pop. Mic in hand, Jman wastes no time saying what he has to say.

    Jman: Vulgar, Smyth, I hoped putting you two in this match tonight would put to bed whatever is going on between the two of you. Obviously, that’s not the case. So, since it hasn’t been settled tonight, let’s settle it at Resurrection. Vulgar vs. Mr. Smyth live on Pay-Per-View. Happy now, boys?

    The crowd pops for that announcement as Vulgar and Smyth go nose to nose.

    Dudley Erickson: Another match added to Resurrection, this PPV is rock my socks off. We'll be right back after this quick commercial break.
    S.E. Zero is now Luizero. Look him up

  9. #1149
    *Shaz is seen backstage, walking out of his locker room, smoking a joint as he swaggers his way onto the chair on the corner as the left lace of his fresh Red Nike Air Force 1's is loose. He puts his leg on top of the chair, and starts tying his shoe lace up before a man approaches him from behind*

    ???: Errm, Shaz?

    Shaz: Who the hell are you?

    ???: I'm a cameraman. I've been told to-

    Shaz: Oh god. This better be worth it okay? I'm about to give up my weed!


    *The cameraman sits down on the chair as Shaz begins to speak*

    Shaz: We are only two weeks away. Two weeks away, from witnessing history. History that will see Shaz, at Resurrection, ending the career of JBW's resident twat, Ano Doom. Two weeks away, from me and Doom tearing the shit out of each other. The amount of pain, this guy has given me, has been resulting in one thing.

    Me getting even more pissed. Every time he insults me, it get's on my skin. Why? Because he's Ano Doom for fuck's sake. I shouldn't be intimidated by words, but that's how it is. I'm an easy guy, to piss off. I'm an easy guy to mess with. But never, do I let my opponent's get the final word. Doom, has been a nutcase lately. Not only do I think that.

    But I'm pretty sure, he's been getting to you people as well. But do you know what? I'm gonna kick all of the cockiness out of his zombie-brain at Resurrection. I'm gonna deal with him, because no one disrespect's myself- or the crowd like that. I won't let him. Doom, you're messing with a guy who is hungry for your body to be seen in a hospital bed.

    But what l haven't done yet in JBW, is make an impact. And I need to make an impact, and the first step will be by destroying Ano Doom. Because he is a guy who will go far, but he doesn't deserve it, believe me. However to another point, Jman, Gman, Gay-Man, whatever this guy's name is. Informed me earlier tonight, that I will go one on one, against a guy also known as Malcolm Cage.

    *Cheers are heard from the crowd, as Shaz smirks*

    Shaz: A guy, who has just recently lost the TV title to a man whom I've beaten before. Now Cage, looking back into your matches. You are a tough competitor, but can you handle me in that ring? I don't think so. And that's just a fact. Cage, I'm gonna give you one hell of a match tonight. So don't think about underestimating me. I'm gonna run rings around you.

    I'm just gonna go out there, and give a show to these people. Winning- will be a gift. However, I know your biggest con going into the match. And that is The Prophecy. He's been playing mind games- I know, but this is a match I HAVE to win. So even if it means- taking advantage of that con, then so be it. I'm gonna be the mature one, and wish you luck. Because Cage my friend, you'll need it.


    Pat: Well, Duds, they say styles make fights and, up next that’ll be proven true.

    Dudley: Yep. It’ll be the air attack of Shaz versus the technical wrestling of Malcolm Cage.




    Pat: And here comes the high flyer! There’s a lot of booing right now, but I’m hearing a few cheers too, Duds.

    Dudley: It’s interesting, isn’t it? This feud with that monster Ano Doom has swung some people over to Shaz’s side. Sheep. All of them.

    Pat: Oh, stop.




    The crowd pops hard for Malcolm Cage as he appears at the top of the ramp.

    Pat: This crowd is still supporting Malcolm despite his struggles since Blood Harvest. Good on them.

    Dudley: Maybe Cage needs to hear some boos. These cheers might be too comfortable of a reaction.

    Pat: It pains me to admit it, but you have a point. Actually, The Prophecy has a point. The old Malcolm wouldn’t have lost his Television Championship to a newcomer on Pay-Per-View. When that very scenario befell Cage at Blood Harvest, and when Proph challenged Malcolm on it last week, you could see the former champion knows he’s at a critical moment in his career.

    Dudley: Jeez, Pat, you actually made a good observation there.


    Even now, Cage has a strange look on his face as the referee calls for the bell.



    Start at 2:55 - Stop at 6:16

    Pat: Well, maybe we were wrong about Cage. He’s keeping the up tempo game of Shaz in check here.

    Dudley: Great technical skill will do that.


    One!

    Two!

    Three!

    No, that wasn’t a pinfall victory for either man, it was, instead the number of snap suplexes Cage just hit. As both men rise to their feet again, Cage runs at Shaz and looks for a quick clothesline. Instead, though, Shaz uses Cage’s momentum against him and hits a huge “Flipsta” Monkey Flip on Malcolm. Shaz, albeit slowly, gets up from hitting that high impact move and looks for another. This time, Shaz looks for, and hits, a big Brainbuster on Cage. Feeling the momentum, Shaz heads up top and waits. Cage gets up, turns around, and walks straight into a “Shooting Star” Missle Dropkick.

    Pat: Shaz is rolling!

    Dudley: He sure is. Can Cage respond.

    Pat: Well, with Shaz calling for the Shaz-Mission Rear Naked Choke, Malcolm better think quickly.

    Just as the Shaz-Mission is about to be locked in, Ano Doom comes rumbling down the ramp, slides into the ring, and blasts Shaz in the back of the head with a clothesline. The bell rings and Darren Black announces Shaz as the winner by disqualification as Doom stomps away at Shaz. The crowd is booing like crazy until Cage, who’s recovered from the match, leaps over Shaz’s downed body, grabs Doom by the hair and, in an amazing feat of strength, throws him over the top rope battle royal style.

    The already cheering crowd gets even louder as Shaz quickly recovers from Doom’s assuault and launches a suicide dive at the big man, sending both of them down.


    Dudley Erickson: My goodness these two are massare one another at Resurrection if this keeps up

    Patrick Riley: That's right. Wow. We will hear from the JBW TV Champion, Mike Hawk soon before he faces the JBW Intercontinental Champion Chris Divine after this quick commercial break.
    S.E. Zero is now Luizero. Look him up

  10. #1150
    *Hawk comes out with a camera crew around him posing with the title as the fans boo hectically. As he snaps his fingers, a crew of men set up a lounge chair with talk show type desk in the ring.*

    Hawk: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to JBTV Today with Mike Hawk, the TV champion and your number 1 star here on JBTV. Now before we begin, last week we had a big show. TDA's mysterious stalker continues to haunt him, I pulled out a win despite the odds being against me and proved Punk's shitty finisher can't keep a man down in the process, and most importantly, Punk experienced his first loss on JBTV. Now for those of you that don't watch quality television with actual stories, it means that Punk is nothing more than a flash in the pan. Your TV champion however, will not let our viewers down. I put on a show for each and everyone of you week after week, and don't forget all the extra shows I do in between. I am the Television champion because I am the most must see thing in TV today.

    Now on to another man that has been commanding a lot of attentive here lately, Chris Divine, another new guy here looking to prove that he is future and won a title as well. Divine, don't let these praises fool you, because the only reason you are in that cozy spot today is because you weren't dumb enough to pick a fight with me. But tonight two of JBTV's best champions are facing off in a clash of the titans type of show and only one can walk out. But I will save you people the suspense and tell you that I am going to be the one victorious while, Divine will scurry off knowing that his title will never be as good as the TV title, and that I truly am the greatest champion on JBTV.

    Finally Resurrection is coming up and as you all know, Punk will be my guest star for the night. If you have never seen me in action often, you should know that my guest stars tend to fall back into minor league shows after I am done with them and a few of them have even been reduced to voice acting.

    *Hawk shudders right after he says that.*

    Hawk: But don't let that scare you, because I am not only a dominant champion, I am a giving champion as well. Punk, I may feel compassionate and not send you back to the minor leagues, but that depends on how I feel that night. I can send you right back to the indies or I can help you prove to everyone that you are the next best guy here after me, but that depends on if you are going to give me any respect or not. Tonight Punk, watch me and learn because your going to need every edge you can get at the PPV.

    Cut. Print. Mayhem.

    *The cameramen stop shooting and the stagehands start to strip the set down as quick as they put it up.*

    Patrick Riley: After that, it’s now time for a huge match!

    Dudley Erickson: Two champions battling it out, that’s what you wanna see!

    Patrick Riley: That’s right, it’s time for JBW Television Champion Mike Hawk to face JBW Intercontinental Champion Chris Divine!

    Dudley Erickson: Both of these guys have a lot of ability, but I gotta go for Hawk on the win here.




    Patrick Riley: Here comes the Intercontinental Champion Chris Divine!

    Dudley Erickson: This guy better hold onto that title tight, he’s losing it at Resurrection to Van Hooligan X!




    Patrick Riley: And next here is the JBW Television Champion Mike Hawk!

    Dudley Erickson: This guy has a hell of a lot of talent!


    Chris Divine vs. Mike Hawk in a Champion vs. Champion match.

    (stop at 3:49)

    Patrick Riley: Divine is stalking Hawk here!

    Dudley Erickson: He can’t do this!


    Hawk finally gets up and turns around as Divine goes for Divine Intervention but Hawk kicks him in the gut and hits a snap suplex. He bounces off the ropes and hits a running elbow drop. He goes for a cover, but Divine immediately rolls through and moves Hawk onto the canvas. Divine twists around in an amateur takedown and goes for a headlock but Hawk manages to wriggle free and as both men climb back to their feet, Hawk hits a dropkick that sends Divine through the ropes.

    Hawk follows Divine to the outside and tosses him into the steel steps. He picks Divine up and throws him back into the ring, following him in and going for a cover.

    One!

    Two!

    Th-NO!

    Divine kicks out as Hawk begins to stalk him. Divine begins to use the ropes to get up as Darius comes walking out to the stage. Divine is shocked to see him, but not nearly half as shocked as he is when Hawk rolls him up from behind!

    One!

    Two!

    Thr-NO!

    Divine manages to kick out as both men stand back up. Divine turns around and lays Hawk out with a Divine Intervention! He covers Hawk.

    One!

    Two!

    Three!

    Darren Black: Here is your winner...Chris..So Fine...Divine!

    Divine turns back to the stage as he is handed his Intercontinental Championship and holds it up high. Darius, on the stage, nods his head and leaves the stage.

    Patrick Riley: Darius scouting one of his two opponents for Resurrection!

    Dudley Erickson: Hawk was screwed! Darius distracted him! Luckily the min event is up next and we will from the participants of it as we take this our final commercial break of the evening.
    S.E. Zero is now Luizero. Look him up

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