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  1. #91
    Mayhem ep 20 7-16-11

    Pat Barrettall: Hello everyone and welcome to Mayhem’s 20th episode! We’re here live in Madison Square Garden and these fans are absolutely rocking! I’m joined on commentary, unfortunately just as every other week, by my colleague Dudley Ramirez. We have a stacked card for the show tonight, but our main event is the real kicker. We have for you a match that could easily main event our biggest PPV of the year. It’s gonna be V-3 and the SuperNova vs. RomanFlare, Eric Bischoff, Chainsaw, The Japanese Avenger Manabu, the badass Marcus Beerstein, and the God of the Gods Zeus Apollo in a 12 man tag team match. We also have MassDinero and K-Jammin picking each other’s poison for tonight. That's right guys, MassDinero is gonna pull double duty tonight. Are you ready for a great show tonight Dudley?

    Dudley: Of course I am Pat. I have it on very good authority that our wonderful general manager Iron Ape has some huge news to break to us this evening. But right now, we have a very special treat for everyone. It’s the Mayhem Girls Dance crew. Wohoo!

    Pat: That’s right Dudley, just calm down.

    Pretty Girls Dancing!

    Dudley: Oh my god. Did you see the one on the far right? She couldn’t keep her eyes off of me.

    Pat: Alright Dudley don’t get too excited now. What the hell is this? A blackout? Who turned out the power.

    Dudley: If Samson comes out I’m gonna shit my pants.

    The lights come back on and V3 are in the ring! They are each sitting on directors chairs, and all seem to be in good spirits.

    *crowd go crazy*

    Psycho Siaki: Ladies and Gentleman, tonight V3 are the special guest hosts of-

    St George: The twentieth edition of Mayheeeeemmmm!!!!

    Ma$$Dinero: Can V3 get an AMEN, Bruva!!

    Mass' Masses: AMEN, BRUVA!!!

    SG: Now before we start the show, I have something I need to get of me Georgie Best. Now last bubble n squeek I was niave, niave to tiddley wink that the back n front by the name of Derek Pissoff was on Team George. Not only that, but I let him get in my loaf of bread and use me to get to me manhole cover Theo. Theo is doing Calvin Klein and wants some payback, payback which I’m gonna deliver. You see Derek, forget Theo, forget V3, forget the Eye, forget everything. This is personal now and I’m gonna make sure that this payback is delivered at Monarchy of Aggression! That’s right grandpa, in my own backyard. I’m gonna make sure that the corn on the cob is done properly this time… and when the refs hand hit’s the mat for the third time, and I stand over you victorious, it will be the beginning of the end for The Eye! That’s right my chinas, I have Jackie Chan’s, Jackie Chan’s that involve the Hampton Wick that started this crap off… No riddles this time… Chainsaw! After Derek Pissoff I’m coming for ya! That’s when my brother Siaki wins his strap back. Right Siaks?

    MD: Now, my Massive, V3 are hosting this show, and belive me when I say, we're gonna host this show proper! If you people aren't smiling by the end of the show, I'll give you your money back!

    SG: OK, money bags, don't get all Pie & Mash with ya cash or you might get bashed... Mass.

    MD: Ahh, listen to Georgie trying to rap *smiles*... Speaking of cash who here remembers that whole cashw-

    SG: Thats quite enough of that, Mass haahaha!!

    MD: You know I love ya', bruv!

    PS: Right, I think we need to highjack a camera and get this party started.

    *V3 Highjack the closest camera man, and Mass signals to the back for someone to come out. It's V3 cameraman Chaz! He takes the camera and CCTV3 is in affect! They make their way backstage, when they bump into xStraightxEdgexSaviorx and RomanFlare*

    PS: Oh look who it is Ro-

    MD: Leave it, Siaks.. Now's not the time, come on guys are guests will be here soon.

    *V3 make their way to the car park but are stopped by Avidco*

    Avidco: Hola V3! Les deseo que suerte en su batalla con el ojo!

    MD: Gracias, senor! We thank you for your kindness, and V3 wishes you well in your quest to win the N.W.L title..

    A: Adios, amigos!

    SG: Nice one, china. *after a couple of steps he says* what did that guy just say?

    PS: He said St George needs to get more cultured, hahaha!!.. Look, it's Cage!

    SG: What, Luke Cage?

    MD: Luke Cage! He's the fookin man, *Walks over to Malcom Cage*.. Whoop-Whoop, Luke Cage is in the house! Luke, you and Iron Fist are the shit, bruv!! Where is Iron Fist? Is he here?

    MC: What the fuck!

    PS: Easy, Malcom.. Mass, this is my buddy Malcom Cage.

    MD: Pleased to meet ya', bruv... Has anyone ever told you that you look like Luke Cage?

    MC: Only yo-

    MD: Look, I can't stop, but you look like you could prolly take Luke Cage and Iron Fist out by your self!.. See ya round, big man. I'm predicting big things for you.

    PS: Holla at ya boy, Cage!

    *V3 continue walking, until they finally get to the car park where Mellisa and Dave are waiting for them*

    Melissa: Finally! I'm freezing my butt off here!

    SG: Well, you should have worn something decent then, anyway, we're not late, they ain't even here yet.

    M: And who exactly is it that we're waiting for.. Wait, don't tell me.. V3 business, right?

    SG: She's finally clocked on, my chinas. Good for her.

    PS: Guys, there here.

    It's a V3 limo.. But who's inside? The doors open, and....


    *SuperNova step out of the limo one by one... first out is Stinger187!*

    SG: 'allo, my china, welcome to Mayhem, where you give it the large or get Duke of Kent.

    Stinger187: I have no idea what you just said, but I'm so glad to be here, guys, and wow! That was some limousine ride!

    PS: Yeah, we knew you guys would dig the Hummersine.

    *Out next is a guy who is gunning for the gold come Monarchy of Aggression, TheDevilsAdvocate!*

    TDA: *looks around* Mass! So how have you been old friend? It has been awhile since I have seen you. We should do some catching up an you could introduce me to your little friends there.

    MD: Devs, this is Siaki, George, Dave and Melissa... Oh, and of course, Chaz, our CCTV3 camera guy.

    Dave: How was the limo?

    TDA: It was alright, and I guess SuperNova is not the bunch of guys that showed up in style!! I saw a garbage truck pulling in around the backside of the stadium so I believe it is safe to assume that FSA has arrived as well... Anyway, here comes Jose. He just recently captured the tv championship. But you already knew that."

    HolyJose: So here I am at Mayhem and it feels great! The atmosphere and environment only a JBW crowd can give off. HolyJose is honored to be here on Saturday night along with Stinger187 and TDA. V-3 I've seen your actions lately against The Eye and I've been impressed. Mayhem's top 3 talents Ma$$Dinero, Psycho Siaki, and St. George going up against that asshole known as IronApe and his lackies, so working with five of JBW's biggest wrestlers tonight is a dream come true. TheFSA are nothing but cowards who hide behind each other. Talented cowards, well except for Markus, who only get what they want through underhanded tactics. So are you guys ready?

    PS: Oh we're ready, brother, and after the twentieth episode of Warfare, we're pretty much ready for anything tonight. We brought the Mayhem to Warfare last Tuesday, now it's time for you to bring the Warfare to Mayhem.

    MD: Guys.. The important thing is that we enjoy ourselves tonight... Let the other muppets run about getting all excited with themselves. Tonight V3 and SuperNova team for the first time ever to take on The Eye, and the Five Starsoles, and well, I guess it sucks to be those guys tonight. Especially that mug Manabu-bu, something tells me he'll be picking his teeth off the floor when I'm done with him tonight.

    PS: Save some for me, Mass, that bitch and I have unfinished business.

    TDA: Manabu is our problem, let us do the honour of putting that swine out of his misery.

    PS: And whats up with Snair going around talking all that Age of Sinnosence shit... Sounds kinda feminine.

    All: Hahahahaha!!

    SG: Whenever I hear The Five Star Attraction, I always think of that band from the 80's, Five Star.....

    Stinger: Who?

    SG: You know that band from the 80's.. They were the Brad Pitts, but thats what makes it funnier....

    Jose: Why do you keep pausing?

    SG: Wait here a minute, my chinas... Chaz, follow me.

    *The CCTV3 camera trails George as he begins walking off, to the shock of the others. He gets to the production truck and rips the door off of its hinges!*

    SG: Whats the Jackanory, China? I told you that when I said Five Star, you were to play the video.

    Producer: I-I-I-I

    SG: Play it. Now, china.

    *by the time the video has finished St George is back with the others and they are making their way to V3's secret locker room -the screen goes black- When the cameras come back on, they are in the plushest V3 locker room yet.

    MD: Right, my little SuperTroopers, we have to go and take care of some business, but Dave and Melissa will look after you, and get you anything you need for the match tonight. We're also on the V3 hotline if you need us.

    PS: But before we go. Melissa, lets do this interview we had planned, right now... Game face, girl.

    *Melissa takes a second to prepare, fixes her hair, adds a touch of make up, check in the mirror once more, and is FINALLY ready*

    SG: Three. two, one.. Action!
    Last edited by xStraightxEdgexSaviorx; 07-17-2011 at 03:18 AM.
    WWE resigned Punk, and everything I've said has come true on these things, so WWE, keep Punk a badass face. He will become a legend if you do.

    JBW is so good, even the most cynical member of the IWC couldn't complain about it. Check out or most recent shows here!

    And join in on the discussion here. We will welcome you with open arms. Please join now by PMing me or WWTNA Mark!

    Horror movie tournament final: The Shining vs. Silence of the Lambs vs. Halloween...coming very soon.

  2. #92
    MM: Hello JBW fans, I’m here with none another than Psycho Siaki. So Siaki, after last weeks tragedy what’s your response to that brute Chainsaw?

    PS: Well Melissa, the piece of shit that goes by the name of Chainsaw crossed the line last week. Not only was that line crossed, but he went so far past it that he cant see it when looking back. Well now he's reached the point of no return.. Last week I organised for a PI to undertake a secret mission, a secret mission that Chainsaw uncovered and completely wiped clean. You see this Corporate Ministry Undertaker wannabe did indeed foil my plan, and his actions were clearly aimed at me.
    I have taken some time to reflect upon these actions, and me and my V3 brothers are not letting this lunatic toy with us. We’re approaching this situation with cool heads. But I’m not gonna let his sadistic mind games affect me. He’s not getting into my head and working his evil on my soul. As once his mind games set in your head, they’re like a disease, once your infected, it spreads and affects you to your very core.

    MM: So what exactly have you got in mind for Chainsaw?

    *turns to camera - which zooms in on a serious looking Siaki*

    PS: Its simple Chainsaw, all of your ludicrous and inhumane actions have been noted and stacked.. The more the load stacks, the more weight to crash back down on you.. Come Monarchy of Aggression these actions are gonna be cashed in and I will, and I mean, I will not only defeat you to regain my belt, but will put an end to the sadistic hold you have around of the throat of JBW!

    *Siaki takes a step back, looks in the air and takes a deep breath*

    PS: And that Chainsaw is not a threat… it’s a guarantee!!

    MM: Well, wise words from a very cool-headed Siaki. I for one hope that Siaki can stop this evil man. Back to you at ringside.

    Back at ringside now…

    Here comes Iron Ape

    Pat: Alright enough fun now. Here comes Iron Ape to the ring with a mic in his hands.

    Dudley: What do you mean “enough fun”? The fun is just beginning now! Shut up Pat, Ape is about to speak.

    Hello everyone and welcome to Saturday Night Mayhem!! We definitely have a huge show planned with it being the 20th episode of the show and all, but absolutely NOTHING is bigger than what I have to say right now. You see, as all of you people know by now, our esteemed “President” The Brown One decided to up and quit on the last Warfare on Tuesday. Just when the going got tough, he up and split, quite the honorable guy isn’t he? Well, I’m just gonna let you guys know flat out, that his replacement as the JBW President will be nothing like TBO. No, he’s gonna be much better. You know how I know this for a fact? It’s because the new JBW President is….ME! Haha That’s right, you’re looking at him. *crowd boos* Oh come on! At least I’m not gonna up and leave. What the hell is wrong with you people? I have busted my ass for this company from day 1, and I finally get a little recognition for it and you people don’t appreciate it. Well fine, I honestly don’t care. I’m the President of JBW, and you people are just gonna have to deal with it! Now hit my music!

    Ape leaves the ring to a chorus of boos

    Dudley: What an awesome announcement! Long overdue. Long overdue. I knew boss wouldn’t let me down!

    Pat: While my delusional colleague here is busy brown nosing, the rest of the JBW population is rightfully worried.

    Dudley: Why would you be worried? JBW is finally in good hands now. Anyway we’re getting word in now that something is happening backstage. We’ll cut the camera back there now.

    Backstage we see Warfare superstar, the psychotic Tad Locust walking out of Iron Ape’s office. What the hell is that all about? Ape wasn’t even there. All of the sudden he’s met up with the Mayhem World Champion Chainsaw, who gets a big negative reaction from the crowd when we saw his face. Chainsaw and Tad stare at each other for a moment, and there’s an intensity in the air right now that is very hard to describe. All of the sudden Chainsaw begins his trademark sinister laugh, to which Tad follows suit with a laugh of his own. Then Chainsaw stops laughing, still staring at Tad who has stopped laughing as well. The two stare at each other for another couple of seconds, and then pass each other by. What the FUCK was that?

    Dudley: I don’t know Pat, those guys creep me the hell out.

    Pat: I thought you liked Chainsaw Dudley?

    Dudley: I do, but I wouldn’t want to share a subway car with him at night.

    Pat: I wouldn’t want to share a subway sandwich with Chainsaw. Back in the ring though for our first match.

    Match 1 The Silver Bros vs. The Underscores

    The Silver Bros
    Theme Song: My Higher Brain Power (Remix)
    Pat: The Silver Bros hit the ringside area, and they’ve been in a sour mood as of late since The Jackasses did what they did to them. Nonetheless, this match was set up last week by Yes_I_Am and The_Crippler, who had some strong words for The Silver Bros.

    the Underscores
    Theme song: Official Radicalz Theme
    Here come YIA and TC, and we’d like to remind you that if The Underscores win this match here tonight, they will be the number one contenders for the tag-team titles.

    The two teams meet eye to eye in the ring, and they’re not even waiting for the bell before this turns into a huge brawl. The Silver Bros and Underscores are trading hard rights and lefts, and the ref is trying to break these teams apart to try to restore order, but is quickly thrown out of the way by Silverdust. The ref again tries to break it up, but then he catches a stiff right from Yes_I_Am. The ref then calls for the bell, and The Underscores, who had the upperhand in this brawl, are pissed. They just blew they’re chance at being no.1 contenders for the tag titles because the ref threw this match out. The_Crippler is now threatening the ref, but SilverLace hits him from behind and throws him out of the ring. It’s now a double team on Yes_I_Am by the Silver Bros, and YIA is getting beat down bad here. The_crippler tries to come back in the ring, but the Silver Bros then double team him too. What’s this? It’s the new-look GoldDiggers Wes Goldman and Scottland, and they’re looking for some revenge on the Underscores for last week too. The GoldDiggers join the assault by The Silver Bros, beating on the Underscores mercilessly. Even though Wes was kicked out of The Eye last week, these two teams sure look like they’re on the same page right now. High fives are exchanged between The GoldDiggers and Silver Bros, but The GoldDiggers hit consecutive low blows on The Silver Bros. Well that allegiance didn’t last too long now did it? The GoldDiggers are now beating on The Silver Bros, making a statement that they are the number one team on Mayhem, but what’s this? It’s The Jackasses who are flying over the ring on ziplines. Both The Jackasses time their release perfectly, and land double cross bodies on The GoldDiggers, from 30 feet in the air! *the crowd erupts in a “Holy Shit!” chant as all four teams are down and out. Medical staff rush to the ring to try to sort out the bodies and this has turned into absolute pandemonium! We have to cut to commercial break but we’re just getting started folks!

    We’re back from commercial now and the camera now cuts to the lockerroom where most of the JBW roster is stationed. The new JBW President Iron Ape walks into the room and speaks

    Guys, listen up for a second. (the crowd quiets down) When I walked into my office a few minutes ago, someone had left me this DVD. *holds up a DVD labeled “Please watch this”* Now I’ve sat there and watched it in my office and I think all of you are gonna find this very interesting and important, so please listen up.

    Iron Ape walks over to the player and pops in the DVD, and just before the video starts we can hear someone say “I’m not gonna die in 7 days after I watch this right?” The man’s quip gets a few chuckles, but the room goes back to silence as the DVD starts. The setting is a bar, and the DVD is being recorded in an obviously hidden handheld camera. The man being shot is an obviously inebriated James Aldrick (the head attorney in the subliminal messages case)who is talking to a women he apparently is trying to pick up in the bar. We tune in mid conversation:
    Last edited by xStraightxEdgexSaviorx; 07-17-2011 at 03:20 AM.
    WWE resigned Punk, and everything I've said has come true on these things, so WWE, keep Punk a badass face. He will become a legend if you do.

    JBW is so good, even the most cynical member of the IWC couldn't complain about it. Check out or most recent shows here!

    And join in on the discussion here. We will welcome you with open arms. Please join now by PMing me or WWTNA Mark!

    Horror movie tournament final: The Shining vs. Silence of the Lambs vs. Halloween...coming very soon.

  3. #93
    James Aldrick: (slurring words) Let me tell you a secret Jess, *in a loud wisper* I know I said I was doing this whole lawsuit because I “cared about the integrity of the company” and all that bullshit, but the truth is I hate JBW.

    Jess(?): *giggles* Why do you hate JBW James? What did they ever do to you?

    James: It’s not about what they did to me, it’s about what they do to the people! Oh *laughs under his breath* wait a minute, that’s bullshit too. The fact of the matter is JBW walks around like their big shit because they have a little lead over EWNCW in the ratings. Fuck that! I’ll tell you what, EWNC-wait, I don’t think I should be telling you all this. I mean, it could compromise the integrity of the whole case. *drunken laugh* Why am I even telling you all this? I just met you.

    Jess: Oh come on baby. We’re just having some fun. You can trust me. I’ll tell you what, if you tell me some of your secrets I’ll tell you some of mine. Like, I like to pick up strangers at bars, bring them back to my apartment and rock their world. BUT, only if they open up to me.

    James: Is that right? Well here, I’ll tell you the truth. The truth is, I don’t give a fuck about those JBW fans! Those Walmart greeters’ opinions don’t matter.

    Jess: What does matter baby?

    James: What matters is that EWNCW should be kicking their ass, but for some strange reason they caught a lead on us.

    Jess: Us? Hmm, that’s..

    James: Hold on, my bad. I shouldn’t have said “us” I really meant them. I just misspoke. You know when you root for a team in sports and you say “Oh my God I can’t believe we won” Well you didn’t win anything, but you associate yourself with that team so you say “we.”

    Jess: Hmm, I can see why you became a lawyer. You have a wonderful way of talking yourself out of things. *laughs* Maybe you can talk your way into something tonight.

    James: You wanna get out of here Jess?

    Jess: Oh come on babe, the night’s still young. It’s only 1 am, and I have a feeling you haven’t told me this whole story yet. Bartender! Two more Jose Cuervo’s and make them doubles. So, why do you “associate” yourself with EWNCW. I mean, you obviously don’t like JBW, so I thought that meant you didn’t like wrestling.

    James: *drinks the double shot in one swoop* Well, I don’t watch wrestling personally, but my cousin works for EWNCW, and he’s been telling me they need a spark to jump back ahead of JBW again, and that’s really the main reason I took the case. I mean, of course there’s always the money, but EWNCW needed a spark, and JBW needed to get knocked down from they’re high horse.

    Jess: Oh, well that’s just fascinating. So are you telling me that there really weren’t any subliminal messages? Did you guys just make this whole thing up?

    James: That is really irrelevant. The fact of the matter is, they left the door open for us to take advantage of the situation, and we took that ball and ran with it. It was simple really. You get some of the fans on your side and it’s easy to cause a stir.

    Jess: What’s that mean baby? Bartender! Two more doubles please.

    James: *downs the shot again* That was easy too. All you do is you pose as fans on the internet, saying how outraged you are that JBW would stoop to such low levels, and people will follow suit. Someone who thinks “oh that’s pretty shitty that they would do that” reads someone being appalled at what JBW was doing, and all of the sudden they’re appalled too. From there it snowballs and you get a lot of people who are really pissed over nothing. It’s sociology 101. It’s the same way people hate John Cena because he’s a bad wrestler, but love The Rock even though he’s just as bad.

    Jess: I love The Rock! How can you say he’s as bad as John Cena?

    James: Like I said, I don’t watch wrestling, but I know talent when I see it. Anyway, the fact is JBW is in a mess right now, and once this all comes to fruition, EWNCW will once again be on to- wait a minute, is that…a camera? What the hell is this?

    Jess: Oh that’s nothing. Don’t worry about that.

    James: *starts to go through Jess’s purse* hold on a minute..that is a-

    Jess: *smacks James in the face* I can’t believe you would do that James. What the fuck is wrong with you? You don’t go through another person’s shit without their permission. That’s it, I’m out of here!

    James: Wait a minute babe, you didn’t even give me your number!...oh, *puts his head down* shit!

    As the video ends, we hear the lockerroom is in complete silence. We then begin to hear the initial reactions of what had just transpired.

    Ma$$Dinero: Who's John Cena? And what's this Rock thing that he's being compared to? Man, I'm just as cucking confused as I was when there was a Real WWTNA Mark claiming to be the real WWTNA Mark! Jess is more than welcome to look me up, though... Hubba-fookin-hubba!!

    Sleeper: How can you not be pissed about this Mass?

    Mass: Because I’m not surprised by it.

    SG: You zsa zsa? What the hell is with James Aldrick? James Aldrick? More like Lame Smallprick! So this Jackie Chan has been hatched to raise the ratings for the Endless Waste (of) Nobodies Championship Wrestling? Fuck that! The Jabe are on the up. Fact!

    How many other Feds have sold out Wembley Stadium? Exsqueeze me? Baking powder? Thank you. Last I heard the EWN's foreign tour took them to Skegness & Iraq!

    If Lame Smallprick wants a ratings war then bring it on! I have complete faith in our talented roster, and I urge them to raise their game in this war!

    Snair: WOW today sucks! This guy deserves to hung upside down in a barrel followed by a beat down till he passes out.

    Chris Parker: Great, now I have another asshole to kill.

    The Prophecy: Yeah, what kind of bullshit is this? It’s bad enough that I have to put up with morons in the ring, but now I have some crooked suit wearing alcoholic 'lawyer' trying to ruin things here. Heads will roll."

    Iron Ape: Everyone calm down. This whole thing can easily be straightened out. This isn’t Snair vs. the Prophecy, or V-3 vs. The Eye, this is JBW vs. EWNCW now, and I think I know a solution to this if we pull it together.

    We cut to Iron Ape’s office now where a pissed off Silver Bros are waiting for Ape to return. Instead they’re greeted by Eric Bischoff instead. The Silver Bros talk.

    Silverdust: We need to find Ape Eric. Where is he?

    Eric: He said he had some business to take care of in the lockerroom. What do you guys need?

    SilverLace: We want that backstabbing Goldman and Scottland in a match next week. He broke my heart for the last time!

    Dust: No man, we want The Jackasess again. Those douchebags haven’t paid a steep enough price for what they did to us.

    Eric: What about The Underscores?

    Both Silver Bros: Them too!

    Eric: Okay. So which one do you really want?

    Dust: We want all of them Eric. We want Ape to make it a fatal four way.

    Lace: Really? Did you just come up with that? Sounds great to me. All those men in the same ring is already getting me excited!

    Eric: A Fatal 4 way? Wait a minute isn’t that risky? We can’t risk getting you guys hurt out there.

    Dust: There is no risk. We will guarantee victory. I’m even willing to put up the tag-titles I’m so confident. How about you Lace?

    Lace: I don’t care who we’re facing, I’ll always be willing to put up the titles.

    Eric: Hold on a minute guys. We can’t have a match like this for the titles. You guys are risking everything. You’re the best tag-team in the world, remember that, but all three teams are gonna be gunning for just you. If one of them wins then..

    Dust: They won’t win Eric. I already told you I guarantee victory. We’re better than all those teams combined. Make this match at the PPV and there will be buys. You know that for a fact.

    Eric: Yeah, but at the expense of risking our tag titles? I’ll have to see what Ape thinks.

    Iron Ape: What I think of what?

    Eric: They want to do a fatal four way match for the tag-titles.

    Ape: Go for it.

    Eric: Really?

    Ape: If they lose, they can always win the titles back in the rematch clause.

    Lace: Yay! Thanks love. Bye!

    The Silver Bros walk off camera and we head back to ringside

    Match 2: Daniel Truth vs. Shockmaster

    Daniel Truth
    Theme: Reverse this Curse
    Pat: Daniel Truth makes his way to the ring, and obviously these fans in attendance tonight watch the indies because he’s getting a great response.

    Dudley: Yeah, this kid spent some time in the minors and made a little name for himself, but right now he’s in the big leagues and he has to prove himself against a tough competitor in ShockMaster.

    Theme song: Shockmaster WCW Theme
    Pat: Shockmaster makes his way to the ring and this one is underway!

    Pat: Daniel Truth wins the match! What a great showing in his debut here in JBW!

    Dudley: Beginners luck.
    WWE resigned Punk, and everything I've said has come true on these things, so WWE, keep Punk a badass face. He will become a legend if you do.

    JBW is so good, even the most cynical member of the IWC couldn't complain about it. Check out or most recent shows here!

    And join in on the discussion here. We will welcome you with open arms. Please join now by PMing me or WWTNA Mark!

    Horror movie tournament final: The Shining vs. Silence of the Lambs vs. Halloween...coming very soon.

  4. #94
    We cut to the back now and we see our hosts V-3 are the Mayhem Dance Girls.

    MD: So, Mindy how does it feel to be here at the twentieth edition of Mayhem?

    Mandy: I'm Mandy!

    MD: Sorry, Mary told me your name was Mindy.

    Molly: I'm not Mary, I'm Molly!

    MD: So which one of you is Mindy?

    Molly, Mary and Mandy: Who's Mindy?!?!?

    MD: Oh I give up! I'm just gonna call you M3, and be done with it! George, save me!!"

    SG: You know the M3 is a long frog & toad china, if you follow it south it takes you to Southampton. It's a Robin Hood place to...

    PS: Hahaha Cut the geography lesson Georgie Boy, they look like they know what to do when they come to South Hampton hahaha..

    MD: Hey, M3, look! It's those Jackass guys! RedGabo and El Ryda!

    El Gabo: Hey there V-3, if you all are *ahem* busy we can come back another time.

    SG: No Fred McMurrays chinas. We've always got lemon & lime, especially tonight of all nights.

    El Gabo: Alright then, Ryda, do you want to ask them?

    Red Ryda: Sure. You see V-3, you guys seem at least to be back in good spirits despite the fact that Chainsaw is still running amuck and..

    El Gabo: Not to cut you off, but Chainsaw seems like a real fun person to fuck with by the way, so if you ever need any help getting under his skin you know who to call.

    Red Ryda: Right, well since you guys have appointed yourselves as the hosts for this glorious occasion, we figured we might ask you a small favour.

    PS: Shoot, brotha. Bring it on...

    Red Ryda: Well, as I’m sure you guys know by now, we like to have a little fun with some of the guys on the roster. Play practical jokes on them if you will. And it’s not like we were struggling for ideas or anything, but we were wondering if you had any ideas on your own that we can act out. Oh and we don’t mind getting our hands dirty either, so give us your best shot.

    El Gabo: Yeah, we’ve gotten our hands dirty before. Not as dirty as that girl George has his arm around now, but dirty nonetheless.

    Mandy: Dirty?? Oh honey you’ve gotta be kidding me. We spend one drunken sloppy night together and all the sudden you think you know me.

    El Gabo: *laughs* Calm yourself down. I am kidding sweetheart. *looks over to George while the girl isn’t looking and mouths “I’m not kidding”*

    MassDinero: Here, Gabo. Have a peanut. *Eats one himself*

    El Gabo: Thanks, Mass. *Eats peanut*

    George: Ok, here's a prank for ya that I used to play on all the rookies. Ask a rookie to babysit for you. When he comes round tell him that your baby is fast asleep upstairs and not to disturb it. Make sure you leave the baby's bedroom window wide open. Hey, I'm St George and don't have any kids, but the rookie dont know that. After about an hour of leaving phone the rookie on his mobile and ask him to go upstairs and check that the baby is ok. When he enters the room there's no baby and only curtains blowing out of an open window. When he reluctantly and shockingly breaks the news to you, unleash hell on him, and tell him that you're gonna rip his balls off so he cant have any kids or something similar to that. After 10 minutes phone him back and break the news!

    Red Ryda: Oh that sounds fuckin nasty but hilarious! I knew you’d be the right man to talk to about this. By George was choc-full of hilarity. Anything else you can think of?

    MassDinero: Peanut, Ryda? *eats one himself*

    RedRyda: Thanks Mass *eats peanut*

    El Gabo: Any suggestions on who we should pull that one off on. Maybe someone from the StupidHumansInTrouble list, Mass?

    MassDinero: Bruv, that list gets bigger by the day! Sometimes I'm surprised myself when I go over that thing. Just say half the damn roster and leave it at that. Siaks, help me out, Bruv.

    Psycho Siaki: What about our head of creative xStraightxEdgexSaviorx? He's a great guy and would take the reponsibility seriously. I'd love to be there to see his face at the reveal.

    MassDinero: Now, how the cuck do we know you aren't gonna pull that shit on one of us, huh? Surely you wouldn't be stupid enough to do that, would you?

    El Gabo: Hell no man! We only prank people who have it coming, and we like you guys. Besides, even we’re not that dumb.

    St George: didn’t you say something like that to the Silver Bros too?

    Red Ryda: Yeah but those assholes had it coming. Besides, they’re the tag champs and we’re a tag-team. It’s always smart to get your competition flustered, because then you can bait them into a match with you.

    MassDinero: Haha! Last time you tried that shit, you got fucked like a pair of poomps!

    Red Ryda: Yeah but we’re improving. Besides, that’s not the point. We are willing to take a beating as long as the fans are entertained.

    Psycho Siaki: That's the fighting spirit that's got me to where I am today fellas. Keep it up, and maybe the next time you go two on two with 'dust & 'lace it might be a different story... You know, I never knew you guys were such a laugh! Maybe you should hang out with V3 more often.

    El Gabo: Thanks, Siaki, you know, my niece is your guys’ biggest fan. Would you guys mind if we got a picture with you three? You too ladies. I brought my camera.

    Siaki: Sure thing, Gabs.

    St George: Hold up, hold up I need to light a Melvin Bragg.

    *El Gabo hands his camera to a nearby stage hand, and all eight pose for l a group picture. But just before the stage hand takes the photo, The Jackasses take a few steps back. V3 are half a step behind them and move with them as they smell what they're cooking, and El Gabo looks up and gives a hand signal to someone off camera. Just as this happens George's cigerette is put out by some sort of fluid that has fallen from above. We hear a man say “sorry guys" and then a large bucket of fish-heads and other various seafoods are plummeting to the floor, with the fish slop missing V3, but completely covering M3*

    Molly: Oh my FUCKING GOD!!! Oh my *gags* what the fuck is that oh m-

    MassDinero: What the CUCK! You little muppets! That was meant for us!

    *But The Jackasses are long gone and have run off before V3 can let them have it*

    St George: But that WAS funny, Massy Boy! Ah, mate! I got fish guts on me Melvin Brag?

    MassDinero: Hahaha! I know, I know!

    M3: WHAT!!! Look at us! Why didn't you warn us?!?!?

    *Mass, Siaki and George look at each other, burst out laughing again, and leave the girls standing there smelling of pilchards and mackerels.*

    We have to cut to commercial break now, but we’ll be back with more of Mayhem’s 20th episode special.

    Back from commercial now, and we see a black 2011 Cadillac CTS coupe pulls up to the back of the arena and The Alpha Dog steps out of the driver side wearing a pair of acid wash jeans, a black button up shirt, a brown leather jacket and also wearing his usual black and red face paint.


    (He walks around to the passenger side and opens the door. He helps Megan Fox(who is wearing a very sexy and revealing dress) out of the car and offers an arm which she accepts and they walk to the back entrance where a door man holding a clipboard and a muscular security guard is stationed. The Alpha Dog and Megan Fox walk up to them.)

    Alpha: (Throws his car keys at the security guard as he is walking towards the door) Park it and there might be a dollar tip for ya if you don't scratch it. (The security guard places a hand on The Alpha Dogs chest to stop him.) Excuse me, but The Alpha Dog has given dumb JACKASSES LIKE YOU BRAIN DAMAGE FOR ALOT LESS!!!
    (The security guard tries to give The Alpha Dog an intimidating look but The Alpha Dog just smiles at him.)

    Doorman: I'm sorry sir but we have to check in all the people who come through this door(points to the door The Alpha Dog was heading towards).

    Alpha: Wait a minute, you don't know The Alpha Dog?

    Guard: Yes, we know who you are. Everybody knows who you are. You won't shut up about it.(The Alpha Dog looks up at the security guard with a scowl.)

    Alpha: Then why is there a problem. You know The Alpha Dog. So why don't you just you know...OPEN THE DOOR!!! (Megan Fox sighs annoyed.)

    Doorman: If you will just calm down sir, we just have to check the list (Looks through the names on his clipboard).

    Alpha: Yeah, check the list. Whenever The Alpha Dog gets inside, he is going to have a little chat with WWTNA Mark about this whole situation. (Looks at Megan) Don't worry, everything's fine. (She gives him a sarcastic smile then rolls her eyes when he looks away.)

    Doorman: Sorry sir, you are not on the list.

    Alpha: (Stretches out his neck and starts huffing and puffing then says in a stressed low voice.) Come again?

    Doorman: Your not on the list.

    Alpha: WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE ALPHA DOG ISN'T ON THE LIST?!! Okay, did you check the first page?


    Alpha: Did you check the second page?

    Doorman: (flips the page) Yes

    Alpha: Third page?

    Doorman: (flips the page) Yes

    Alpha: (looks to the side then looks at the doorman) Are you for damn sure you checked the first page?

    Doorman: (agitated) Yes!

    Megan: Gabriel...

    Alpha: (Turns to Megan) IT'S THE ALPHA DOG!!

    Megan: (Sighs with an annoyed look on her face.) Whatever. Obviously, your name is not on the list and these shoes are killing my feet. If we are not getting in, can we please just go? Besides I have a rehearsal tomorrow.
    Last edited by xStraightxEdgexSaviorx; 07-17-2011 at 03:22 AM.
    WWE resigned Punk, and everything I've said has come true on these things, so WWE, keep Punk a badass face. He will become a legend if you do.

    JBW is so good, even the most cynical member of the IWC couldn't complain about it. Check out or most recent shows here!

    And join in on the discussion here. We will welcome you with open arms. Please join now by PMing me or WWTNA Mark!

    Horror movie tournament final: The Shining vs. Silence of the Lambs vs. Halloween...coming very soon.

  5. #95
    Alpha: (He puts up a finger towards the doorman and walks to the side a little bit.) Come here, Megan.(She walks over to him.) Now, what did The Alpha Dog tell you about talking in public, especially when there is a camera in front of you? (Megan thinks for a minute.) The Alpha Dog will tell you one more time. Think about it like this. Transformers was a mediocre movie at best. Transformers Revenge of the Fallen was absolutely terrible. The only good scene you had in the whole movie was that little motorcycle scene from the first trailer that was released so all the horny perverts would go see it. Then there was Transformers Dark of the Moon and it did great. Ninety seven point one million on its opening weekend and one of the reasons is because...Megan: (Makes pouty face) Because I wasn't in it.

    Alpha: Exactly! Now three things. One, you will probably blow your rehearsal tomorrow because when you start reading the lines, the producers are going to realize that they can probably get another actress that is just as hot as you and can probably do a better acting job. Two, you should stick to something that revolves around what life has soooo generously given to you. The Alpha Dog would say...modeling or porn your choice. And three, just stand there and do what you are good at...looking hot.

    (Alpha walks back over to the doorman)

    Alpha: First, it's Ticketmaster and now this. Okay, WWTNA Mark said The Alpha Dog should come and Dubs should be in there. Just call him...

    Doorman: WWTNA Mark has asked not to be disturbed.

    Alpha: He sent The Alpha Dog an e-mail saying The Alpha Dog was more than welcome to come.

    Doorman: Was that all it said?

    Alpha: The Alpha Dog noticed something about an R.S.V.P and under it it said something about "YES, MAYBE, NO."

    Doorman: Did you click yes?

    Alpha: Why would The Alpha Dog click yes to such a revolting thing?

    Doorman: What did you think R.S.V.P meant? (Alpha looks around, then whispers something in the doormans' ear) MY GOD MAN!! What the hell is wrong with you?! Oh, please move aside.

    (Tom George is shown coming towards the door, the doorman opens the door, and Tom George turns around and looks at The Alpha Dog for a second. Then continues walking through the door, laughing. The Alpha Dog looks at the doorman, shocked.)


    Doorman: (Looks at Megan Fox) Oh, she can come in.

    Alpha: WHAT?!

    Doorman: Yeah, everyone on the list gets plus four and when V3 came through Ma$$Dinero only had three and I seriously doubt he would mind having her has his fourth.

    Guard: Hell, I wouldn't mind having her as my first.

    Megan: Well, Thank You. (Looks at Alpha) Goodbye(sarcastic voice) "Alpha Dog!" (Then slaps him in the face)

    Doorman: (opens the door for Megan, then says) Oh, and just to warn you. Watch K-Jammin as he will probably try to get you to have a three way with him and his fiance.

    Megan: Oh...(thinks for a minute) is she hot?

    Doorman: (Has a concerned expression on his face) You will probably want to ask Ma$$Dinero about that. He will be with V3 hosting the show tonight. They are having a big party in there. I would hate to be the jackass that had to miss out on that.

    Alpha: (Huffing and puffing rapidly, The Alpha Dog just stares at them for a minute, then takes some deep breaths and finally says.) Well, The Alpha will just have to go. (Then points to the doorman) BUT JUST SO YOU KNOW, DUBS IS GOING TO HEAR ABOUT THIS AND (security guard is slowly moving out of frame) YOU ARE GOING TO BE OUT OF A JOB COME TUESDAY!!! YOU CAN BET(fast footsteps coming from out of frame) MONEY ON THAT!! AND YOU(turns to point at security guard)...(car turning on and engine sound growing louder as The Alpha Dog turns around, then the Cadillac speeds away.) WHAT THE FUCK?!!!(Runs out of frame)

    Doorman: (Puts hands over his mouth and yells with camera fixed on him.) I GUESS YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO CALL A CAB!

    Alpha: (Still out of frame) FUCK...THE ALPHA DOGS IPHONE WAS IN THAT CAR!!!

    (The doorman laughs and smiles.)

    We’re back at ringside now where…
    Here comes The Prophecy with a mic in his hands

    The Prophecy makes his way to the ring while getting a steady stream of boos on his way down the ramp. The Prophecy is standing in the ring in his finest, most expensive suit with a look of sheer disgust on his face.
    He looks around the arena before speaking...

    "So this is how the other half lives? This is the second rate show they call Mayhem? What kind of pathetic excuse of a show is this? I mean come on every little thing here pales in comparison to Warfare. Just look at you guys, the’s like being at redneck family reunion. You the fat chick in the V3 t-shirt, what you couldn’t find a shirt to fit? Do they not do size XXXLose some weight you fat bitch? Bet you would rather see a McMayhem than a wrestling show huh. And you the nerd with the 6 inch think glasses and braces, how old are you, I mean seriously its people like you who give wrestling fans a bad name, have you even been kissed by a woman before who wasnt your mam? Hmm dont answer I dont care. Now onto the Mayhem roster, the nearly superstars. You have the tag team titles held by the Silver Bros, now Im not against that certain way of life, but when I walked through the locker room earlier Mario or Luigi or whichever brother it was just ran past me with his "Beaty Swollocks" flapping around like a flag in the breeze. You have K-Jammin and his dime a dozen "lady of the night" should we say. He goes around insulting people, how insecure must you be to do that hmm, oh wait never mind. Well what about their champion? Chainsaw, a complete lunatic, who the big bosses have no control over. He should be in prison not holding a World Championship. I came here tonight for 1 reason and 1 reason only...the money. I am destined for great things, and thats something you will never see on this show. The top brass of JBW wanted me to be here on this special night, and for the right amount of money I am. But I never expected to be so unwelcomed by the guys in the back. I know why, theyre all jealous, its simple. I have the opportunity to become the Warfare World Champion at Monarchy of Aggression, and then finally this company will have 1 champion they can be proud of, not Snair and NSYNC, and certainly not the crazed Chainsaw. Well I’ll tell you…

    What’s this? It’s the Sleeper!
    The Sleeper comes out with Helmsley to a thunderous pop from the crowd, but he is walking slowly down the aisles giving his fans high fives. This time he walks around the whole ring giving more high fives finally he stops at a little thuggish looking kid, (around the age of 12), dressed like his favorite wrestler, wearing a skull mask, skeleton gloves, and a fake tin L.V. chain from the t-shirt stand. Sleeper takes his platinum chain with a diamond encrusted L.V. emblem off and puts it on the little kid, then he takes the kids fake one and puts it on himself. He whispers something in the kid’s ear while grabbing the L.V. emblem and pounds it lightly on his chest. Finally he gets in the ring. The Sleeper is about to speak, but The Prophecy cuts him off.

    The Prophecy: Ahh, The Sleeper. What a fitting name for someone who literally puts me to sleep every time he’s on my TV screen.

    Sleeper: That’s real cute Prophecy, especially coming from someone who has put half the audience to sleep right now. That is until I came out of course. I mean, let’s face it, these people didn’t spend their hard earned money to hear a drawn out speech like that. Well, at least they didn’t spend their money to see you give a drawn out speech like that. Look, you’ve made your point, you’ve made your money, so kindly get the fuck out of my ring. I have something I want to get off my chest.

    *The Prophecy reluctantly leaves the ring, but he does so while giving The Sleeper a sinister glare and is seen mouthing insults in the Sleeper’s direction*
    Last edited by xStraightxEdgexSaviorx; 07-17-2011 at 03:23 AM.
    WWE resigned Punk, and everything I've said has come true on these things, so WWE, keep Punk a badass face. He will become a legend if you do.

    JBW is so good, even the most cynical member of the IWC couldn't complain about it. Check out or most recent shows here!

    And join in on the discussion here. We will welcome you with open arms. Please join now by PMing me or WWTNA Mark!

    Horror movie tournament final: The Shining vs. Silence of the Lambs vs. Halloween...coming very soon.

  6. #96
    Sleep: I just want to start off by apologizing to all of my fans. I may say some things that you may not agree with or you just hate all together. For the first time in my life I am unsure on what the future holds for me. As I speak to you the forces are aligning to take this strap away from me, (Sleeper holds his T.V. Title in the air and the crowed boos at his statement.) First off I would like to talk about this little bitch RomanFlare. I say this from my heart I flat out personaly hate this guy. He is everything I am against he has taken every shortcut that he could to get what he wants. This guy went from nobody knowing what the fuck a RomanFlare was, to screwing people over on pay-per-views, to joining the Eye, to facing one of the most dynamic superstars the JBW has ever seen in a title match next week at Monarchy of Aggression, all within a couple of months. And I know I'm not the only one who see this guy getting fast tracked to gold in this company, "I wonder who's behind that". All of the guys in the back are really getting tired of him too, he walks around starting shit with everyone like he knows he can't be fired. This piece of shit disrespected my heritage by putting on a mask half way through his career. By doing this he made luchadors like L.A. Park and Ultimo Dragon, that opened up doors here in America for our generation of luchedores, look like jokes. He put himself over as a bad guy by attacking an already legitimately injured AngrySamoan and putting him out for a longer period of time. How the hell is this man supposed to provide for his family now? He has taken a title shot away from Wes Goldman and has got him kicked out of the Eye, that was also kinda suspicious to me. The only reason I can see that he is getting all this push is because he is the main guy behind the scenes at the Showdown show and is good friends with our main writer here on Mayhem, Steven Eugene Samson better known as our Straight Edge Savior, SES. Or some of you guys may remember him by his former name. The guy gets a promotion and immediately starts burying people and pushing his buddies week in and week out. And look who our World Champion is. Coincidence? I think not. This guy has hated me and my lifestyle since I came here. He always said I would never get over with all of the fans and he has been pissed with the more and more followers I get every week. Giving his buddy a title shot he feels he can kill two birds with one stone. Well look I-

    Damn that music is loud!
    Romanflare’s music hits and he has a huge display of pyro even though he usually doesn’t have any. He’s coming out with an airhorn in hand.

    RF: I simply had to drowned out the sound of your voice so sorry to everyone for that display. But yeah, ladies and gentlemen, YOUR Mayhem TV Champion. When did you become a whiney, overgrown Rhesus monkey? You’re wearing a gold championship and are Mr. #5 on the Top 10 Rankings for Mayhem, and you’re bitching about me? Dragging my name and the name of your superiors through the mud? What’s wrong, Sleeper? Are you that frightened of what I can do in the ring?

    Listen here, Bitch tits. This has absolutely nothing to do with SES. He’s doing his damn job by providing an amazing show for these fans. And yes, I am the brains behind JBW Showdown. A commentator being the big boss behind it all? Where have we seen that one before? Now get your head out of your ass—this isn’t a brand conspiracy against you. No, this is a combination of me blazing my way to the top, and you getting too damn big for your britches. Week in, week out, I’m running around backstage and in the ring, busting my ass off to advance in this company. I do what I have to, step on any damn toes I need to. This is a business. We’re independent contractors so our business is ourselves. I make money when I make myself look good—and the only way to look good in this industry is to get ahead, main event status!

    But enough about myself, let’s talk about you. You wanna start shooting Clint? Mister Champion?! Look at you! You look good with that belt! Too bad it’s gone to your head! You’re not the same man you were before the title. You’re walking around backstage like you own the fucking place—like you’re a higher power than Dubs himself! Lemme tell you something, Benny, your personal locker room, personal “chiropractor”, personal “secretary”, personal “masseuse”, and your own personal “manager” have all gone to your head. You’ve completely lost touch with the locker room. You accuse me of dirty backstage politics? You’re one of the biggest bastards back there! When was the last time you had a singles match on Mayhem? Before Global Uprising? Every week, without fail, you either spend the show sitting in the back and running your mouth, or standing on the corner of the ring while Helmsley carries you in a tag team match. And speaking of Global Uprising, why didn’t you defend your title? A champion doesn’t have to defend his title on a pay-per-view and instead gets a shot at ANOTHER title? What message does that send to the guys in the back, huh? I’m not going to beat your ass at Monarchy of Aggression just for myself, oh no. I’m going to take your title and put you in YOUR FUCKING PLACE!. But I’m not just gonna pin you—1, 2, 3—and walk away with your title, no. You see, Iron Ape gave me permission to name the match type for your title defense against me. You better start doing yoga, because I’m going to break you both physically and mentally in a SUBMISSION MATCH!”

    Sleep: Typical, a luchador being forced to compete in a submissions match against a technical wrestler. Isn’t that swell? I’ll tell you what, you’ve got such as big problem with me as I do with you, why don’t you come in the ring and say something to my face about it?

    Romanflare looks for a moment, nods, drops the mic and takes off his shirt. He steps through the ropes and walks right up to The Sleeper. The two lock eyes and are jawing a little bit with each other when Roman takes a step back and takes a swing at Sleeper. The Sleeper ducks it and does a double leg takedown. The Sleeper lands a couple of stiff shots in on Roman, but Roman then grabs Sleep’s fist, flipps him around into a cross armbreaker. We hear Sleeper writhing in pain as Roman looks like he’s gonna pop The Sleeper’s arm out of its socket. Sleeper fights out of it though and the two begin to brawl again. They are trading heavy crosses with one another, and Romanflare appears to be bleeding from his mouth when Iron Ape and what must be a dozen security guards come in the ring and break it up. Iron Ape scolds both men and we hear him telling RomanFlare that he has the match tonight in the main event. Both men have to be dragged away from one another while the crowd is booing hard. We hear a “let them fight” chant break out, but it falls upon deaf ears, as these two aren’t being let anywhere near each other.

    Pat: Wow what an intense segment there. Sorry guys we’re a bit speechless. We we’re definitely not expecting that tonight. Anyway, we cut to the back now, and we see one of our hosts for the evening, Ma$$Dinero, and is he eating chocolate covered peanuts?

    Dudley: No, you idiot, he's sucking chocolate off and spitting them back in the bag... Wait a minute those are the same peanuts that RedRyda ate earlier! I've hated Mass from the moment I laid eyes on him, but that was genius!

    Pat: I bet Ryda's gonna get Mass back for this! Oh well, that’ll come later, right now we have Mass in the back and it looks like, wait, yes that is Jman who is here on Mayhem! This crowd is loving the Jman appearance and after what happened on Warfare this past Tuesday, who wouldn’t love a little more interaction with Jman and Mass? Lets listen in.

    Jman: Hey Mass, I just wanted to thank you one more time for what you did this past Tuesday. I needed that a lot.

    Mass: No problem bruv. Besides, you’re gonna make it up to me tonight right?

    Jman: Oh hell yeah! K-Jammin vs. Jman one on one? I’ve been waiting to get my hands on that punk since he debuted.

    Mass: Well, I couldn’t have picked a better guy for pick your poison. You know your match is up soon right?

    Jman: Yeah my dude. I’m gonna go get ready.

    We cut to the titantron now and the the camera pans up to daniel may sitting on a park bench outside the stadium as it rains..his got his head down he then looks up after a couple of seconds..he looks and points at his watch..and speaks

    Times ticking until i make my JBW debut...just two more weeks *steps of seat and holds his arms out* a dream it means a new beginning a fresh start..but believe me this isn’t a dream...I’ve worked my whole life out on the streets..just as i am right now but in two weeks I’ll be in there *points over to the stadium JBW are in tonight* it’s a new chapter in the life of Daniel May I’m focused and locked on being at the top of’s my responsibility to think like that for the lockerroom for the fans for the management and most of all for not going to let anyone down.....there’s no holding back anymore and im not going to let anyone slip by..ive had a tough life BUT its now time to look ahead as i know i need to be one-hundred percent committed and focused to be the absolute best in JBW....and yes i know there’s pressure on me from all of the JBW because of how well I’ve done..but i breath, eat, sleep..LIVE the best signing in JBW history *looks straight at the camera July 30th*...the clocks ticking.

    Back at ringside now for our third match of the evening.
    Last edited by xStraightxEdgexSaviorx; 07-17-2011 at 03:25 AM.
    WWE resigned Punk, and everything I've said has come true on these things, so WWE, keep Punk a badass face. He will become a legend if you do.

    JBW is so good, even the most cynical member of the IWC couldn't complain about it. Check out or most recent shows here!

    And join in on the discussion here. We will welcome you with open arms. Please join now by PMing me or WWTNA Mark!

    Horror movie tournament final: The Shining vs. Silence of the Lambs vs. Halloween...coming very soon.

  7. #97
    Match 3 The Sleeper vs. RedDevilSativa

    Wait a minute, that’s V-3!
    Well there they are here in earnest! The hosts of the twentieth edition of Mayhem, V-3 make their way out to ringside and this is a pleasant surprise. It looks like they're gonna join us on commentary for this match. Hello V-3, any reason you guys want to be out here with us this evening?

    Ma$$Dinero: Wait a minute, you're not Sly.

    Pat: No, I'm Pat.

    MD: What, like the postman? *Turns to Dudley* And who are you? His black and white cat?

    Dudley: No, you idi- Ooop's, I mean, no I'm Dudley.

    MD: You have got to be kidding me.. Haha!!

    Dudley: Same old horrible Mass. You can't help yourself can you?

    Mass: Shut up, Duds.

    St George: Hey Duds, drop it before Mass drops you. Mass, pull up a lion's lair. Our man Sleeps is out soon.

    Pat: Sounds great to me! You know you guys are always welcomed here on the commentary booth.

    Dudley: Speak for yourself Pat, I for one am sick of V-3 taking up all the air time around here. Chainsaw was absolutely right when he said you guys are bullies.

    Siaki: Dudley, no one really gives a shit about what you say, think, or do. Every week you're out here running us down while simultaneously sucking off Chansaw. For once in your life, shut your damn mouth!

    The Sleeper
    Theme: Enter Sandman

    Pat: The Sleeper make his way to the ring to an amazing pop from the crowd. The fans seemed to be really behind The Sleeper lately, especially now after his controversial and powerful statement against RomanFlare earlier on in the show. Speaking of which V-3, what were your thoughts on what the Sleeper had to say earlier?

    Mass: Whoa, that was some deep shit, right there, Patrick! Sleeps spoke the cucking truth, the whole cucking truth and nothing but the cucking truth! Ma$$Dinero loves shoot interviews! My brother Kash even started a thread about them on the EWN, and take it from me... That was a shoot!! Can I get an AMEN, BRUVA!!

    SG: That was one of the Mae West bits of rabbiting I've seen in donkey's ears. Roman who?

    PS: Hahaha! Roman Candle George, I think his name is Roman Candle... Or was it Tampon Candle?? I mean does it really matter?? He costed me my belt.. But dont worry though, he's still on my radar and after I'm done kicking the living shit out of 'saw... well who knows. Payback's a bitch, brotha!

    Theme:Burn in my light
    Pat: RedDevil makes his way to the ring and he looks as nasty as ever.

    Dudley: You know, even after my boy Wes Goldman destroyed him last week, I'm still loving the fact that he hasn't changed his demeanor at all. Too many times in this industry when someone as hated as Wes Goldman is by these people turns on his partner, the guy always wants to suck up to the crowd afterwards. Not RedDevil, and I like that about him. Don't you think RedDevil has a nice future in this business, V-3?

    MD: PinkCherubManfat is a failure of epic proportions. How he's still cucking employed around here is beyond me. Seriously.

    PS: *turns to George* wine gum, brother?

    SG: Cheers, china...

    Pat: Well this one is underway!

    Pat: The Sleeper wins and stays undefeated in singles competition! A great victory here for The Sleeper, who keeps his momentum going for his match with RomanFlare at the PPV. Real quick before we hit the commercials, V-3, who do you think is gonna win in the TV title match at Monarchy of Aggression?

    Dudley: RomanFlare is gonna win. No doubt.

    Pat: I was asking V-3.

    Dudley: Well my answer was the right one.

    MD: Well according to Sleeps, Roman should be able to use his stroke with the office to pretty much guarantee that he walks away with our buddy's strap in my home town.... Without the pen, Sleeps would destroy that Power Ranger wannabe!

    SG: Are zsa zsa? Who do yo think we think is going to win, you Hampton Wick!

    PS: Guys, let's leave these two lovebirds to it. We've seen what we needed.

    We’re backstage now and we hear the crowd boo as they see that Zeus Apollo, The Japanese Avenger Manabu, Marcus Beerstein and The Warfare Heavyweight champion Snair are all show conversing amongst themselves, no doubt about the main event tonight, when Mayhem World Champion Chainsaw comes up by himself to greet them. A very bold move by Chainsaw as we know the history he’s had with the FSA. Chainsaw speaks.

    Chainsaw: Snair.

    Snair: Chainsaw.

    Chainsaw: I see you’re not competing in the main event tonight. What’s the matter, are you scared? *chuckles*

    Snair: Look what we have here the BURNING DUCK. Listen this nice and clear Chainsaw, Mayhem is a second rate show of JBW so I don’t mind not performing for their mob on a B-grade of a show called Mayhem.

    Manabu: Snair has no need to dirty his hands with the vile germs that you call the mayhem roster. We're here for one reason and that’s to cleanse this bastardised roster of the plague that so many have fallen to, losing the ability to even murmur a "save me" letting the others feed off their rotting carcasses.

    Chainsaw: Ahh, Manabu, I wasn’t aware I was speaking to you. Feel free to interject whenever you please. I just wanted to let you know that I’m aware that you all are used to doing whatever you like on your show, but this is my show, and you will play by my rules tonight. Afterall you are guests here, and you we’re invited by my, oh, *smirks* I mean, our boss. So please play nice.

    Marcus: Markus: Who the hell you think you are coming here and talking to us like that asshole, I don't care if Mayhem's idiots think you're supernatural Gothic freak douche and somehow you ended being champion with help of your wacko servants, but say another fucking word and I will German Punisher'd you into the floor!!!

    Chainsaw: Get control of him Manabu, before he gets bitten. You don’t want to get bitten do you Marcus?

    Snair: Easy Marcus, is there anything else you want Chainsaw, you know, aside from us “playing nice” tonight?

    Chainsaw: Yes, I wanna know why you saw it fit to duck out of the match tonight. You’re the champion, you’re supposed to be the best Warfare offers, so why then, am I stuck with the B group when you get the night off?

    Manabu: THE B GROUP!? THE B GROUP!? Tell me Chainsaw, have you ventured over the world being named the champion of every company you've been to? In fact how many titles have you even had? I doubt you could even get a 1 count on a champion without using fire, now keep quiet you pyromaniac freak. As much as we want to see each other withering in pain, letting the viruses suck out every little drop blood that’s just not the plan tonight. We all know the meaning on unity bar you Chainy boy, now you can either learn it the easy way or the hard way and if you wanna know the hard way ask the warfare roster.

    Chainsaw: It’s not about liking each other, of course I don’t like you, but I need to know if I can trust you. Right now the answer to that question is a resounding no. You know what, nevermind, consider me out of the main event tonight. I’ll get Loki to replace me. You have fun tonight gentleman, you can just do it without me involved.

    Snair: Well it’s obvious you've been watching too much b grade horror films behind your mom's back and it shows every time you enter the ring with your Katy perry's Peacock theme song and you start making faces like a cow before it shits. So my little BURNING DUCK I suggest you tone down your voice before talking to FSA or else....nevermind you can imagine that up. By the way, say hello on behalf of me to your little BOO BOO friends.

    *Snair starts leave as crowd reluctantly bursts into laughter*Suddenly Chainsaw grabs Snair's collar & lifts him up when he's interrupted by Zeus and the two stare a hole through each other. Chainsaw puts down Snair and turns his attention to Zeus. The two meet eye to eye until Iron Ape appears and breaks this up before it gets more heated.

    Iron Ape: *steps in between Chainsaw and Zeus* Easy Chainsaw. Why don’t you go back to our lockerroom. If you don’t want in on the match then so be it, but just calm yourself down. And to you guys *turns to the FSA* You need to calm yourselves as well. You have a match tonight against V-3 and whoever else they brought along with them. You wanna impress your new boss, go out and win, and do nothing else. Understood?

    Markus: Fine. FSA, let’s forget Chainsaw and focus on the important thing tonight, beat the fuck up on Supernova.
    Last edited by xStraightxEdgexSaviorx; 07-17-2011 at 03:27 AM.
    WWE resigned Punk, and everything I've said has come true on these things, so WWE, keep Punk a badass face. He will become a legend if you do.

    JBW is so good, even the most cynical member of the IWC couldn't complain about it. Check out or most recent shows here!

    And join in on the discussion here. We will welcome you with open arms. Please join now by PMing me or WWTNA Mark!

    Horror movie tournament final: The Shining vs. Silence of the Lambs vs. Halloween...coming very soon.

  8. #98
    Match 4: K-Jammin vs. Jman “Pick your Poison”

    Theme song: Hollywood
    Pat: K-Jammin makes his way to the ring, getting a tremendous amount of heat from the crowd, when he asks for a mic, and snatches it from a guy at ringside.

    So Jman is my opponent huh?! Word of warning to you asshole, you don't have a tag team partner to watch your back anymore. Now get the fuck out here so i can slap the spit out of your mouth you useless piece of shit.

    Theme: Ill State of Mind
    Pat: Jman makes his way to the ring to what is probably the biggest pop of his JBW career, and I’m sure he’s glad to finally be back on Mayhem. It has afterall been far too long since Jman has been on the show.

    Dudley: Oh stop sucking up to Jman Pat. You know I was getting behind this guy until last week when he had to pull that shit with Mass.

    Pat: That “shit with Mass” was one of the most well received and talked about segments of the week Dudley. Quiet down now, this match is under way.

    Pat: Jman fights off K-Jammin in the corner, but KJ comes right back with a hard shot to the chest. KJ has Jman up, and he superplexs him down to the canvas. Pin attempt here 1,2, kick out! KJ just can’t seem to keep Jman down.

    Dudley: Give him a minute Pat. He’s been in control for most of this match.

    Pat: KJ picks up Jman again, and he sets up for the HeadJam superkick, but Jman catches his foot and pushes him down to the mat. K-Jammin rolls out of the ring now, and he’s taking a breather next to the timekeeper. Jman won’t allow this though, and he goes out of the ring to greet KJ. Out of nowhere though, KJ picks up the timekeepers steel chair and slams it into Jman’s midsection, right in front of the ref! The ref calls for the bell, and this one is over.

    Dudley: No this isn’t over Pat, KJ is picking up the chair now and smacks it against Jman’s back. Good for him!

    Pat: Good for him? How can you condone something like this?

    Dudley: It’s Jman’s own fault for not staying down when K-Jammin pinned him.

    Pat: So because Jman is trying to win a match, he deserves to be struck with a chair?

    Dudley: Precisely! Especially when he’s trying to beat K-Jammin in the match.

    Pat: Well in any case, Jman picks up the win here tonight, but it’s K-Jammin who gets the last laugh, as he’s literally laughing over a downed Jman. What a pitiful display.

    Anyway, it’s time now for the second ever edition of…
    Mayhem’s Move of the Week
    Presented by Big Red who would like to remind you that if you don’t chew big red, then FUCK YOU!.

    This sensational submission maneuver by RomanFlare last week in his match vs. Wes Goldman eventually led to Wes’ tap out defeat. In the biggest match of his career, RomanFlare might have pulled out the biggest move of his career, and it helped seal him a spot in The Eye and a TV title shot at the PPV. Congratulations to RomanFlare for pulling of Mayhem’s move of the week.

    Uh oh, here comes Chainsaw with a mic in his hands
    Chainsaw makes his way to the ring, and he’s all businesslike right now. He steps through the ropes and gets right into what he has to say.

    I suppose you people are wondering why I’m out here huh? Well, I’m out here because there seems to be an assumption that since Warfare talent happens to be invited to my show, that they can just say whatever they like. Well, let me be the first to debunk this thought process. You people need to learn a bit of respect. You see, I was invited to Warfare’s 20th episode. I got a message from WWTNA that they wanted me to make an appearance. I declined. Do you wanna know why I declined? It’s because there isn’t a single one of the wrestlers on Warfare or a single one of Warfare’s fans that are worthy of my time. People like Snair. He is their champion no less. If anyone on that roster is intimidated by Snair then they need a lesson in what’s truly frightening. I mean, come on. Could you people imagine a match between myself and Snair? It would be a slaughtering, and not just like the normal slaughtering that I dish out to my opponents, I mean the match would be over in seconds. Well, not really. The match would be over whenever I would want it to be over. Whenever I was done punishing him. I mean honestly, could you imagine it? How many of you people would like to see me challenge Snair to a match right now, champion vs. champion, to see who the better brand really is? *crowd pops loudly* You would like to see that? I can make that happen you know. Right now I could make that happen. There’s only one problem with that, and that is that I could care less what any single one of you wants to see. I’m taking the night off, but not before I reiterate this point. There isn’t a single person on the Mayhem roster who could possibly match me. I haven’t lost a match yet, not even a tag-team match, and Warfare would provide no further competition for me. In fact, even Mayhem doesn’t provide competition for me. That is except for one man. The man I will be facing at Monarchy of Aggresssion: Psycho Siaki. *crowd pops at the name* I must laugh at what Psycho Siaki had to say earlier though. It was quite humorous. I’m not trying to get into your head you idiot. You think I’m worried about our match? *chuckles* Oh no, our match has long since been put on the back burner. I want to make you suffer. I want to watch you squirm, and twist and wiggle around like the little worm you are. Our match comes afterwards. I don’t need to get into your head to beat you at Monarchy of Aggression. My number one goal is to see you on your knees begging me to stop because you simply cannot take the punishment anymore. Then, and only then, will I stop hurting you. You’re nothing Siaki. You’re a fly in the windshield to the 18 wheeler that is Chainsaw. But you continue to try, and you know what, that’s part of the fun too. The fact that you still continue to pester me with your mind numbing stupidity and meaningless threats of revenge amuses me. It’s so…human of you. I’m not a human. Not anymore. I’m The Devil in the flesh, and there is no one..who can stop me. Hahaha.

    Uh-oh, the lights go out again and it looks like V-3 might have taken his words to heart. We know what happened earlier when the lights went out!


    Pat: The crowd erupts as the familiar music of Samson plays. Oh my God the roof is about to blow off of this place. Remember it was Chainsaw who had set Samson on fire several months ago!

    Dudley: That’s it. I really did shit my pants.

    Pat: Oh god! The lights come back on and we see Chainsaw standing alone in the ring, and he’s is shaking in a mixture of trepidation and anger. He looks around for a moment, and there are no signs of Samson around. What the hell is this all about? The crowd begins to boo loudly as Samson is clearly not here. No one is as mad as Chainsaw is though, and the mixture of anger and trepidation just turns to anger. He storms over to the audio man and this guy is about to shit a brick! We hear Chainsaw speaking to the audio man.

    Chainsaw: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING!? Why the HELL did you play that music? You are never to play that music again do you understand? *Chainsaw grabs the audio guy by the throat and is about to lay into him when Iron Ape stops Chainsaw*

    Ape: Stop Chainsaw! He’s my nephew! STOP. That’s it, let him down. *turns to audio guy* What the hell are you doing Jerry? Why did you turn the lights out and play that music?

    Jerry: I-I don’t know. It just happened. I know what I was doing was wrong, but I couldn’t stop myself for some reason. It was like I was being controlled or something. Please Chainsaw, don’t kill me! It won’t happen again.

    Ape: Oh it damn well better not. If it does you’ll be out of a job.

    Chainsaw: He will be dead.

    Ape: You hear that? Get your fucking act together Jerry. Stop messing around and do your job!
    WWE resigned Punk, and everything I've said has come true on these things, so WWE, keep Punk a badass face. He will become a legend if you do.

    JBW is so good, even the most cynical member of the IWC couldn't complain about it. Check out or most recent shows here!

    And join in on the discussion here. We will welcome you with open arms. Please join now by PMing me or WWTNA Mark!

    Horror movie tournament final: The Shining vs. Silence of the Lambs vs. Halloween...coming very soon.

  9. #99
    Anyway, we cut backstage now and we have Roland Butter is interviewing the man known as Daniel Truth.

    Roland Butter: I'm standing by now with the man who was victorious in his debut toni-

    *before he can finish, MassDinero, St. George, and Psycho Siaki interrupt the interviewer and hustle him out of the picture*

    Mass: Alright Roland, that's enough. We've got it from here. So you *turns to Daniel Truth* who the cuck are you and why the cuck are you here?

    DT: *a confused look on his face*.....

    George: You zsa zsa china. What he said was... Robin Hood to av ya in the Mickey mouse of Jabe.

    DT: *an even more confused look on his face*…….

    Siaki: What they mean is, welcome to JBW, tell the fans a little about yourself.

    Truth: Oh, I see. Well my friends, I come from New Zealand. I was trained by Dory Funk Snr along with my close friend and JBW favourite Avidico. We tagged for a while, and he then joined JBW. Avidico convinced me to join the JBW revolution and here I am.

    Siaki: So I guess we don't have to worry about you joining The Eye then, huh?

    Truth: No chance my friend, no chance.

    MD: So... Who have you got it in for in JBW? Who's the guy who really needs a good beating courtesy of Truth Daniel.

    DT: Daniel Truth.

    MD: Ma$$Dinero, pleased to meet you *Shakes Daniels hand and smiles playfully*... the question still stands, buddy.

    DT: Well I'm new to the ranks here and finding my feet. But once this place starts to feel like home, I'll be sure to start kicking some ass!

    SG: So then DT, what moves you got?

    DT: Good question St James.

    SG: You mean St George

    DT: George, James, whats the difference?

    PS: Erm... one starts with a G, the other with a J...

    SG: So come on then, moves?

    DT: Well there's a few that I specialise in. The powerbomb, hammerlock, running clothesline, spear, spineb...

    MD: I think what George meant was dance moves, right George?

    SG: Fookin right I did. Come on, Truth, show us what you got, china

    DT: Well, Im not really sure...

    PS: Come on, George will start you off, right George?

    SG: Sure thing. *George starts break dancing and body poppin. He then starts to encourage Truth to join in who starts to do the running man, big box - small box, fish - fish. He then out of nowhere starts to introduce a bit of Michael Jackson to his routine. He finishes with the classic moon walk and Jacko spin to find himself standing all alone*

    DT: Erm guys.... guys. Should I just…yeah I’m gonna go. *walks off camera*

    We cut backstage now where K-Jammin is also about to be interviewed, this time by Dave.

    Dave:" Ladies and gentleman i am now joined by K-Jammin and Katie "

    KJ:" Wooooooo Dave ma' man! It's been too long!! Still a virgin?"

    Dave: " Look K-Jammin i just want a quick word on who you will be picking to be Mass's opponent tonight that's all"

    KJ: " I'll take that as a yes you are, Katie has a gay friend she can set you up with? He doesn't have any teeth at the moment because he touched The K-Jam's arse so i HeadJam'd him! and no Dave that is not some gay innuendo so you can get rid of that erection right now. As for Mass, as much as i hate the ugly fucker i have come to the conclusion that despite what I've said in the past he may well be alot better than i give him credit for, and seeing as the entire JBW roster are beyond useless i had to search international feds to find a wrestler who could give Mass a good go in the ring besides me, and once again Dave that is not in a gay way! Fucking hell control yourself, so after days of looking for a world class athlete i finally found someone suitable! Some of you may not have heard of him before but let me tell you this, he will destroy Mass!

    Katie: " Babe can i quickly say something? "

    KJ: " Of course you can gorgeous. . . "

    Katie : " I just wanted to clear up a couple of things, first of i have NEVER asked any other wrestlers for sex! Why would i want anyone else when i have a living sex god in this man right here * Kisses KJ *

    Dave: " I see, and any final words from K-Jammin? "

    KJ: " So you are actually gay right? "

    Dave:" Ok that's all"

    We cut back to Iron Ape’s office now where Eric Bischoff walks in and has a talk with Ape.

    Ape: Eric! How’s you doing my man?

    Eric: I’m alright Ape, it’s just, well I’ve been meaning to tal to you about something. Do you think I was too hard on Theo and George last week?

    Ape: You’ve gotta be kidding me.

    Eric: Of course I’m kidding you, you old fuck. Did you forget who you were talking to? What I really wanted to talk to you about, is…congratu-fucking-lations on becoming the new JBW President now! That’s quite a feat my man.

    Ape: Oh yeah. Well, you know I deserve it.

    Eric: Dammed right you do. Oh and don’t worry about Georgy boy man, I’ve got them all figured out. Once we impose our will on them a bit, they’ll crumble. I’ve been actually training for our match this time around, and last time I gave that punk all he could handle.

    Ape: You’re preaching to the choir buddy. We’ve got this one in the bag for sure. Hey, I might need you to take over for me for Warfare one of these days. Do you think you can handle it?

    Eric: What the hell? Of course I can handle it! When are you thinking about?

    Ape: Maybe in the next two weeks or so. I have some business I have to handle and I can’t let that show just run amuck.

    Eric: Sounds good to me man. Alright buddy I know your busy I’ll let you get to work.

    Ape: Alright man we’ll talk after the show.

    Match 5: MassDinero vs. ??? “Pick your poison”

    Theme song: She Said
    Mass makes his way out to the ring to another booming response from the people. He eagerly awaits whoever his opponent is gonna be when K-Jammin appears on the big screen sitting behind a desk. He has a big grin on his face, and then suddenly Katie pops up from under the table wiping her mouth! Think it's quite clear what she was doing.

    KJ: " Fuck it's dribbled on the carpet! Oh, Supp Ma$$! the wait is now over and i can now reveal that your opponent... all the way from Mexico City . . is K-Jamba!"

    Insert partially racist music here!

    Pat: K-Jamba?! What the..?!? Oh god, i don't believe this! 'K-Jamba' makes his way to the ring, and the general consensus is that K-Jamba is just K-Jammin in a Luchador mask carrying a piñata! He weirdly starts humping the piñata, while singing La Cucharacha, and basically starts going nuts! He finally get's in the ring and Ma$$ is giving him a look that says he thinks K-Jamba has had one to many tequilas. The bell rings and K-Jamba runs out of the ring and grabs the ring announcers chair and throws it into the ring. Mass picks it up, but referee Willie Willie takes the chair off of him. While Mass is distracted K-Jamba grabs another chair and rushes into the ring and hits Mass in the back with a sickening crack! This is crazy! K-Jamba, if you really are K-Jammin, then you're about to get fired... K-Jamba continues to bring the chair down onto Mass' torso... Once... Twice... A third! With Mass seemingly out of it, K-Jamba, using the ring announcers chair, sets him up for a Conchairto. He raises the chair high above his head and brings it down *CRASH* but Mass rolled out of the way, and the clash of the two chairs causes K-Jamba to drop the chair and howl in pain shaking his hands. Mass then tackles the "Luchadore" and goes straight for his mask. The colourful piece of material is easily torn from the strange Mexican wrestlers face and... Surprise Surprise! It's K-Jammin! K-Jam kicks Mass off of him and makes a sharp exit out of the ring, trying in vain to cover his face. As he tries to make his escape up the ramp he is cut off by JBW FOUNDER WWTNA MARK!!!

    Dubs: K-Jammin!! Are you out of your mind, man? It was only last week you signed that "blood contract", and Monarchy of Aggression is only a little over a week away! Couldn't you wait to get your hands on Ma$$ until then? Well, you little idiot, your obsession has cost you your career here in JBW... As of of right now... K-Jammin. YOU'RE FIRED!!!!
    Last edited by xStraightxEdgexSaviorx; 07-17-2011 at 03:31 AM.
    WWE resigned Punk, and everything I've said has come true on these things, so WWE, keep Punk a badass face. He will become a legend if you do.

    JBW is so good, even the most cynical member of the IWC couldn't complain about it. Check out or most recent shows here!

    And join in on the discussion here. We will welcome you with open arms. Please join now by PMing me or WWTNA Mark!

    Horror movie tournament final: The Shining vs. Silence of the Lambs vs. Halloween...coming very soon.

  10. #100
    Dudley: WHAT?! NO!!

    *crowd gasps as K-Jammin is looking shocked as he stands on top of the ramp with his hands on his head*

    Pat: What did he think was gonna happen? He knew he wasn’t allowed to touch MassDinero, and he did it anyway.

    Dudley: This is insanity! He obviously wasn’t aware of what was going on!

    Pat: He wrote the contract up himself Dudley! It was his rule in the first place.

    Pat: I still can’t believe K-Jammin was fired from JBW. That is unbelievable.

    Dudley: This is one of the worst days in the history of this company. How can WWTNA not let that just slide Pat? Do you know how much money he’s gonna lose now?

    Pat: Yes we know Dudley, Mass vs. K-Jammin was one of JBW’s highest selling points for MoA, and that match is now officially off, again. But we must move on now to a much lighter note, and that is that our very own Chris Parker was interviewed on Comedy Central’s The Daily Show w/John Stewart last night, and we have the footage from the show. Here it is in its entirety.

    John Stewart: Alright ladies and gentleman, please welcome to our studio at this time, our guest for the evening JBW wrestler Chris Parker!

    Parker steps out onto the screen, and gets a chant of “Parker! Parker!” from the crowd. Parker sits down in the chair aside from John Stewart*

    John: Hello Chris welcome. Now hold on a minute. Just one time I’d love for someone to chant my name like that. They never do it for me. *crowd chants “Stewart! Stewart!” No, no. First of all, I don’t want you people to chant my name because you obviously whore yourself out to whoever asks you to chant for them *crowd laughs*, and second of all that doesn’t count because I asked for that chant. Now Parker, the first question I have to ask of you is am I in line for any type of suplex or something? *crowd and Parker both laugh* Be honest with me, because you know I know some moves from my old high school wrestling days.

    Parker: *with a smile on his face* Oh you used to wrestle back in the day?

    John: Oh no. That was just a joke. I got kicked off of the chess team for not being athletic enough. *crowd and Parker laugh*

    Parker: Oh okay. Haha. No John, no suplex, no headlocks, nothing like that.

    John: Oh good. So yeah man, I gotta ask you flat out, I’ve been hearing rumors flying around that you and a certain English actress named India de Beaufort are in a relationship together. Is there any truth to these rumors?

    Chris: Oh wow. Umm..

    John: You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.

    Chris: No it’s okay John. Yeah me and her are having a little fling together. I guess you could call it a relationship. Haha.

    John: Well that’s good man, that’s good. *crowd gives Parker a nice applause*

    Chris: Thank you thank you.

    John: Alright so Chris, next question I gotta ask you is, the JBW subliminal messages case, what’s the deal with that?

    Chris: Oh okay. Can I re-answer that question about the suplex John? *crowd laughs*

    John: Oh boy.

    Chris: Nah, look as far as I know we haven’t been running any subliminal messages or anything like that and this whole thing has gotten way overblown. That’s all I’m really at liberty to say though since I’m not really the best person to ask about that.

    John: Alright well that’s okay. So next thing is, you guys at JBW, you have a PPV coming up right? Would you care to talk about that?

    Chris: Sure thing. It’s called Monarchy of Aggression it’s gonna be held overseas at Wembley Stadium, it’s a sold out show, and it’s gonna be on next Sunday on July 24th. Yeah, it’s really shaping out to be an excellent card, and it’s gonna be a really great show. I’m on it by the way, so yeah, go out and buy it.

    John: Yes I have here in my notes that you and a fellow named Brandon Smithson are going to be facing off in a tag-team match against a team by the name of The Apostles is that correct?

    Chris: Oh yeah, those guys are some grade A assholes. Opps, can I say assholes John.

    John: Oh I don’t care you can say whatever the *bleep* you want. *crowd laughs* Yeah we’re way beyond the point of not being able to say asshole anymore. But yeah, these Apostles, I take it by your reaction to them that they aren’t like the 12 Apostles. *crowd laughs* You know because those guys were deeply religious men from what I take it. These guys your facing at the PPV, I’m guessing not so much? *crowd laughs*

    Chris: Nah these guys are just about the opposite of the original Apostles.

    John: Yeah I think we have a picture of these two guys here if we can show it *a picture of Aerial and Loki appear on the screen, looking as badass as they normally do* yeah here it is. Yikes man. And you’re gonna be getting into a fist fight with those two? What’s the story there?

    Chris: Well basically they won’t get out of my hair these guys. They keep trying to punk me out 2-on-1, 3-on-1, but now I have a partner in Brandon Smithson who is gonna fight by my side so the numbers game is evened up.

    John: That’s funny, you have these guys trying to mess with you and you call on a tag-team partner. I know if someone who looked like them was after me, I’d be calling the entire United States Marine Corps to help me out on that one. *crowd laughs*

    Chris: *laughs* Yeah but what would you do if someone like me or Brandon Smithson were after you?

    John: You mean besides crawling into the fetal position and weeping loudly? *crowd laughs* I don’t know, I think that’s the best defense strategy I got at the moment. *crowd laughs again* Well look man, it was great having you on. I hope to have you back soon, but this is all the time we have for today. The PPV is called Monarchy of Aggression it’s held on July 24th. Be sure to order it and watch this man kick some ass. Chris Parker ladies and gentleman. *crowd gives a rousing ovation to Parker*

    The camera now cuts backstage where Brandon Smithson and Chris Parker are seen talking to each other. Parker has an angry expression on his face as he speaks.

    Parker: You know what that isn’t showing is how after I got done filming the show those asshole Apostles totally wrecked my Escalade. I had to pull some strings with John Stewart just to get back to the hotel room.

    Brandon: *meditating* Calm down Chris. Have you not learned a single word of what I’ve been telling you?

    Chris: And then we got that stupid fucking lawyer trying to take my job away. Holy shit I’m abot to murder someone just thinking about it.

    Brandon: Obviously you haven’t been listening. Chris I want you to relax. Be like water. Let the troubles of the world flow through you, and pass you by like a fish passes through the waters of a calm spring. Just know that we’re going to get our hands on The Apostles come next Sunday, and as for the lawyer, that is out of our hands.

    Chris: Not if I put my hands on that lawyer right Brandon?

    Brandon: *chuckles* Oh Chris, when will you learn? Violence only begets more violence. We should only use it when absolutely necessary. Now I have a match with Avidco coming up in a few minutes, so please, I need to concentrate *goes back to meditating*

    Chris: You’re one weird cat Brandon. You’re cool, but weird. Go ahead man, get ready for your match. I’ll have your back out there.
    Last edited by xStraightxEdgexSaviorx; 07-17-2011 at 03:34 AM.
    WWE resigned Punk, and everything I've said has come true on these things, so WWE, keep Punk a badass face. He will become a legend if you do.

    JBW is so good, even the most cynical member of the IWC couldn't complain about it. Check out or most recent shows here!

    And join in on the discussion here. We will welcome you with open arms. Please join now by PMing me or WWTNA Mark!

    Horror movie tournament final: The Shining vs. Silence of the Lambs vs. Halloween...coming very soon.

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