Welcome Ladies and Gentleman! We're live from Washington DC! I'm Jacob Cass and along side me by her own free will is Barbie Panzer! You have arrived at the place everyone wants to be! AugustPlex! The 1 night where everyone goes all out in summer...If you exclude the others nights...
Wow. Way to sell it, I'm sure everyone at home is pumped up now.
Thanks! I came up with it last night, I used to matter in the wrestling world a few years back.
OH BABY! What a way to start tonight! Washington DC will NEVER be the same again after watching Cory! The man is undefeated!
The guy has had 2 matches...
Sorry? I can't hear you over him being the man!
GO CORY! GO CORY! GO CORY! GO CORY!
Cory Urban defeated Alex Kidd in a singles match-up.
What a match! Can anyone stop Cory or will creative continue to push him?!
Now you're breakin--...Whatever.
APW Tri-Nation Championship match
Shining Light defeated Van Hooligan X in a tables match to win the championship
Chainz defeated JJJ in a JJJ can't win match
Ali Kazam defeated DJ and Ramjam in a triple negotiation match.
Why is every non-title match in this fed contested in such retarded matches?
We've had a Parmo on a Pole match, a leg wrestling match and we've just watched 2 idiots get owned by a Magician! The only matches that are serious are the title matches...
Damn you non-believer! Our athletes are at the very top in athleticism! Sure most matches are dumb, stupid and idiotic. That'sthesamething3times--But god damn the title matches are always serious and entertaining! They put the bodies on the line entering that ring! They're professionals and why they're able to go for these prestigious championships!
So they shouldn't try this at home?
What? Ha! No, who gave you that stupid idea? Wrestling's fun...How do you think I got into wrestling? I wrestled my pillows constantly.
APW Tag Team Championship match
AJ Dixon and Johnny Hot defeated El Drunko & The Smog Monster to win the tag titles
Great match-up, AJ Dixon gets first blood tonight against El Drunko but can El Drunko use this electric crowd to win his first world championship?!
No, I can put up with these insane matches but I refuse to hear you steal other commentators catchphrases
The Stevolution defeated Ivanhoe Heskey in a 5 minute Iron Man match
Final score: 7-2
Twice in a lifetime match
It's time for the rematch everyone has been waiting for... the rematch that no-one sort possible... The rematch that APW GM promised would change lives! THE REMATCH THA--
S-Sorry...Ladies and gents we will show you what happened a while back in EWA.
Originally Posted by FLAAASHBAAAACK
This match is widely considered the greatest of all time and if not it certainly most is up there! Many thought this match-up would never happen again but APW had not stopped at any expense to bring you this match-up!
*Cody McDerrell comes down the ramp dancing to his music, and slapping kids hands. He grabs a mic and gets in the ring*
Cody: Howdy y'all! Are y'all ready fer the rematch uh the greatest match in history!?!
*Crowd pops so loud the place is shaking, in anticipation for the dribble off*
Cody: Last time ah came out victorious in the match uh the cen-tree! Tonight, the war ends! G-Scorp, Ah'm gunna dribble yer ass all over this arena boy! You know who muh daddy is mate? PREPARE TA HAVE YER JOHNNY-THANS CRUMBLED MISTER! AN' IF YER NOT DOWN WITH THAT, I GOT TWO WORDS FOR YA... Fuck off you rate cheeky cunt.
*G-Scorp waddles his way into the ring and wastes no time. He takes a quick drink of water and the crowd boo intensely since that is cheating. Unfortunately the ref can't do anything about it since no-one ever wrote rules for the dribble off. They both begin the drool off as if both of the careers are on the line! The crowd, who were already chanting Cody and marking the fuck out over this match-up going up a level. It could honestly rival any active crowd you could think of!*
This is disgusting...
Disgustingly brilliant! Look at them forehead-to-forehead! Locking of the horns together! A battle of the ages!
*After about 2 entire minutes of pushing themselves to the absolute limit, the battle signs can clearly be seen, the ref goes in for a closer look and asks them if they want to continue. G-Scorp then very quickly looks in the direction of the ref and an absolute stupid amount of drool hits him in the face. Naturally the ref does a backflip and sells it like he have been hit in the face with acid. Whilst the ref is down and rolling in the drool that is flooding the mat. None other than his EWA partner in crime, Sweet Jones comes running down to the ring and literally slides into the ring and hits G-Scorp with an incredibly weak scissor kick. Thus KO'ing G-Scorp who has the endurance of a paper plane.*
MY GOD! What a match! This match has lived up to it's massive expectation and no-one could have seen this coming!
Thank god this match is over with...
All he has to do is wake the ref and pin him!
*Jones and Cody brofist in the middle of the ring and Jones tells him to go wake the ref to finally end this. Cody goes to wake the ref up but Sweet Jones turns him around and spits in his face! Thus sending Cody crashing and burning into the warm and moist canvas!*
HEEL TURN! HEEL TURN! HEEL TUUUUURN! HOLY SHIT! Did you see that, Barbie?! What in the ever loving hell!? Why?!
*As Barbie shuffles slightly away from Jacob who is creeping her out. Sweet Jones, who is being deafened by boos, lays G-Scorps lifeless body over Cody for the pin.*
No! Not like this! Barbie stop them!
*1, 2, 3. The crowd are shocked as Sweet Jones, the man who Cody trusted in EWA betrayed him in the biggest match of his life.*
I...I...I don't know what to tell you people...He failed...All because of his friend.
Can I go paint my nails now?
It's okay Barbie, I feel this horrible crushing feeling inside my stomach as well! But Cody gave it his all and we should be proud of him! If I know Cody, which I don't, he'll be looking for his revenge!
...Is that a yes?
...Only if you paint mine as well. Right now we will have the 3 newly signed wrestlers have a triple threat!
# defeated Usain Kingston and Gaileo in a 100% normal and respectable triple threat match-up.
Wow! I-I'm actually gob-smacked!
That was literally the best non-title match this place has had. It had story-telling, great moves and showed what great talent we have picked up!
Oh come on!
APW World Championship Match
El Drunko defeated AJ Dixon for the world championship!