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  1. #41
    Black Ninja! VanHooliganX's Avatar
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    Done. Fucking Shin with his long ass promo lol

    Just so everyone knows. It literally came down to me vs Dennis for the world championship in the end. Thank you so much Bryan <3

    3 weeks away from the new title (That any comedy character/random character can obtain) and Barbie Panzer vs Jacob Cass!

  2. #42
    Black Ninja! Dennis's Avatar
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    I liked the note about the fast count hahaha!

    Side-note...

    I'm the tag team champions... (Not Giddy!)
    #TeamGeeky


  3. #43
    Black Ninja! VanHooliganX's Avatar
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    Friendly bump for page 5 :3
    Quote Originally Posted by VanHooliganX View Post
    Usain Kingston defeated RamJam in a Reserve Tuxedo match

    Tri-Nation Championship match

    Shining Light defeated Malcolm Cage to retain the championship

    Cory Urban defeated Alex Kidd...Again.

    # defeated Chainz, JJJ and The Stevolution in a fatal 4-way inflatable sumo steel cage match (Escape only)

    Tag team championship match

    D-Boy defeated AJ Dixon in order to become Johnny Hots official tag team partner to form The Gidolution! Never Gonna Give You Up starts to play because of it.

    Brother vs Brother from another mother match

    Cody McDerrell defeated Sweet Jones to take his revenge

    *As the all familiar line of "I am the one and only" echoes throughout the arena, the crowd begin to go batshit insane. Women begin to take off their clothes, men begin to burn John Cena merchandise because apparently even in APW Cena still manages to shift a few shirts. Out steps CJ to a rousing ovation, with a smile on his face and a boner to match.*

    Cass: Oh baby here we go! I've been waiting for this day longer than I've been waiting for Barbie to return my phone calls. Hide yo kids, hide yo wife, hide yo horses... CJ is back and blacker than ever!

    *CJ down to the ring, not forgetting his ritual of kissing babies, whilst managing to insert a cheeky finger or two inside their anus'. When he gets in the ring, he stands there for a good 20 minutes soaking in the atmosphere*

    CJ: WADDUP BITCHES!

    *Crowd continue to go insane*

    I'm not dead! I'M NOT DEAD!!

    *Crowd begin to sing Fandango's theme for some odd reason*

    You thought you'd all seen the last of me didn't you? Well there's more to CJ than EWA and I'm proud to say APW is my new home. I'm even more honoured to announce that I'm the new GM of EWN's number one e-fed and I ain't got that old bastard Mr McGiven giving me shit anymore.

    *Crowd begin to chant YES! YES! YES!*

    But it ain't all fun and games when it comes to running APW. I've got a load of major decisions to make. Like for instance I was involved in the naming of the fed. I tried to get it called "Best in the World" but that was taken. Apparently they're a good fed, pumping out shows on a daily basis.

    *The crowd laugh so hard at CJ's joke that every fan wets themselves laughing. However due to there being over 237,649 people in attendance, APW has no other option than to take a commercial break while the arena is drained of the piss that is rapidly filling up. When the commercials are over, we head straight back to CJ in the ring, who has taken the occasion to take a bathroom break. However he has chosen to do so in a corner of the ring, meaning that a giant shit now lies there, clearly enjoying it's 15 minutes of fame*

    And we're back! As I was saying, I also had to help with creating the championship titles for this fed. The APW World Championship, the APW tag team championship and the APW Tri-Wizard championship!

    *CJ puts his hand to his ear so that he can listen to a message from the earpiece he is wearing*

    Wait a second, it's not called the Tri-Wizard championship? What do you mean that's from Harry Potter? What do you mean Dumbledore's dead?

    *CJ rips the earpiece out of his ear, (well where else is it going to be?) and throws it in the crowd, taking a woman's eye out and somehow finding it's way inside the arsehole of the hotdog vendor*

    Cass: Friendly reminder that #OperationYewtree is trending on Twitter!
    Quote Originally Posted by VanHooliganX View Post
    CJ: However I am delighted to announce that there will be a new title introduced to APW's already esteemed collection. A title which will provide superstars with the chance to prove who truly has the biggest balls in the locker room. That title is the APW Hardcore championship! Or as I like to call it, the APW "60 seconds = 1 minute, 60 minutes = 1 hour, 24 hours = A day, 7 days = A week, 52.177 weeks = A year championship!"

    So basically the rules are simple. Whoever holds the title better watch their back, because the title is constantly on the line. For example, if Barbie was to be the champion...

    Barbie: Please don't bring me into this!

    CJ: And I was to sneak up on her while she's sleeping at night and penetrate her with a referee watching in the background, there is a chance I could become the new champion if her shoulders were on the bed for the 3 count. Simple huh?

    Barbie: Yup... He brought me into it

    CJ: The first match to crown the first champion will happen at the next PPV. Anyway, I have some serious shit to talk about today, an appeal if you will. 7 months ago, a dear friend of ours was taken away from us, crushed by the oppression of. That man was the heart and soul of EWN, that man was Shining Light.

    *The crowd begin to tear up at the mention of their friend and saviour Shining Light*

    I know that it still pains us all to think about it but things have to be said. If a man can't beat a woman in 2013 and not be praised by his fellow men, what kind of world do we live in?

    *CJ looks directly down the camera*

    Now I don't care if I lose my job over this, because it's something I feel strongly about and I've sat back and watched this happen for far too long. Shining is a good friend of mine, we go way back. I remember when we used to go to strip clubs together. I'd throw a couple of bucks at the girls there whilst Shining would smack them around screaming "Who's ya daddy?". Then they'd discover their emotional trauma that had caused them to become a stripper, cry and open up to him while he fingered them in the toilets. Those were the days!

    But the point is, Shining is a true hero, conqueror of men and destroyer of the dreams. I'm not saying that he should be allowed back, but I urge each and everyone of you to rise up and avenge him. Before I'm forced to take maters into my own hands...

    *CJ rips off his shirt, revealing a #AvengeShining tattoo on his chest. The crowd literally explode, spontaneously combusting into a million particles before reforming as their previous selves. They begin to chant "Long live Shining" and "Sorry Clem" as they throw chairs, bottles into the ring. CJ climbs up to the top rope, pulls down his trousers and reveals an absolute monstrosity of a penis. From out of nowhere, Kenny from Telltale's 'The Walking Dead' appears on the entrance ramp, saying "A dick that size, he must be urban!". *

    Cass: BAH GAWD THAT WAS A SLOBBERKNOCKER OF A PROMO! VINTAGE CJ DELIVERING A PIPEBOMB! BOOM! BOOM! BOOOOMMMM!

    Barbie: That was nothing like...

    Cass: FUCKING BOOM!


    Quote Originally Posted by VanHooliganX View Post
    It's now time for--

    Screen time.

    W-what?

    Well we barely got any this PPV.

    Just shut up and let 1 of us do the job we're paid to do! Please!

    Very well! Basically the upcoming King of the Hill match is like King of the Mountain match but instead of a championship they're hanging up a mask of Hank Hill.


    This may just be the dumbest match we have ever done.

    Dang it Barbie. I tell you h'wut, something about you just ain't right.

    If you speak again I will literally punch you in the face....


    King of the hill match

    Gaileo defeated Heskey, DJ, The Smog Monster and Ali Kazam in the King of the Hill match.

    Great match! Unbelievable! Right Barbie.

    That's it...I'm done. Jacob, I challenge you to a match at Tied for Decent Stuff!

    You're on! You, me in a kiss my foot match!


    What!? No! Pig! You would lose on purpose!

    Aww...

    World championship match

    Van Hooligan X defeated El Drunko and Matthew Black to become the new world champion. Side note, he won over Matthew with a fast count.
    Quote Originally Posted by Dennis View Post
    I liked the note about the fast count hahaha!

    Side-note...

    I'm the tag team champions... (Not Giddy!)
    I did win it thanks to a bullshit ending lol

    Congrats on your first title though, wear it with pride!

    APW is the first place to give Dennis a title and a properly opportunity to shiiiine!

  4. #44
    The Trinity AirBourne's Avatar
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    Can I sign up for here?
    Ryan Wells:

    - Former JBW TV Champion
    - Former EWNCW Evolution Champion
    - Former Undisputed BWA Grand Champion
    (w/ Gillz)

    Xavier Hightower:


    - Former RTE Tag Team Champion
    (w/ Kaige Chamberlain)


  5. #45
    Quote Originally Posted by AirBourne View Post
    Can I sign up for here?
    No


    jgfggfhggfkhgfkhgfkghf

  6. #46
    Black Ninja! VanHooliganX's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AirBourne View Post
    Can I sign up for here?
    Yeah, sure. I'd recommend a joke character since the non-title match winners are 100% randomised and never serious. If you don't mind your characters losing silly matches against joke character though you can use any.

  7. #47
    Black Ninja! Dennis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by VanHooliganX View Post
    Friendly bump for page 5 :3


    I did win it thanks to a bullshit ending lol

    Congrats on your first title though, wear it with pride!

    APW is the first place to give Dennis a title and a properly opportunity to shiiiine!
    And that I will do!

    Airbourne you better not be coming for my title.
    #TeamGeeky


  8. #48
    The Trinity NiallF96's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by VanHooliganX View Post
    Yeah, sure. I'd recommend a joke character since the non-title match winners are 100% randomised and never serious. If you don't mind your characters losing silly matches against joke character though you can use any.
    How does this work? I'm interested in joining up but have no clue how to haha!




     
    Chris Diamond
    IWA Endurance Champion
    3/12/13-

    Antonio Rizzo
    Chaos Roster member

    Head of IWA Chaos

    Wade Barrett
    Former Member of the United Kingdom stable

    Daniel Bryan
    ????
    ????



     


  9. #49
    Black Ninja! Dennis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NiallF96 View Post
    How does this work? I'm interested in joining up but have no clue how to haha!
    Niall do you have X-box live?
    #TeamGeeky


  10. #50
    The Trinity NiallF96's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dennis View Post
    Niall do you have X-box live?
    ......Well...no, not really :P Ah well, that's too bad




     
    Chris Diamond
    IWA Endurance Champion
    3/12/13-

    Antonio Rizzo
    Chaos Roster member

    Head of IWA Chaos

    Wade Barrett
    Former Member of the United Kingdom stable

    Daniel Bryan
    ????
    ????



     


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