(Sasha Panzer = Miss Tessmacher/Eden Sky = Mickie James - start @ beginning, stop @ 1:15)
Dudley: Hey... if neither of them can get up in time... could I -
Pat: NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT, DUDLEY.
Dudley: But they're all knocked out - it's not like they'd notice. They wouldn't even know what that funny aftertaste is!
Just before the ref can finish the count, both women manage to stagger up to a vertical base - though the effort is superhuman! Sasha and Eden literally have to hold onto each other just to stand up!
Eden is the first one to realize this - so she grabs Sasha and drops her with a Flatliner! Sasha's face meets canvas as Eden flips her over and covers her -
Thr - no! Sasha kicks out!
Eden goes ballistic, telling the ref that his count is too slow and that he could count faster is he stops oogling her! She gets down, covers Sasha again -
Sasha with a headbutt to Eden's face! Eden is gushing blood from her nose! Sasha overpowers Sky, sending her to the canvas - turns her over in a very familiar hold -
Pat: Sharpshooter on Sky, with excellent ring positioning! Will this be enough to put the champ away -
The answer is no - someone slips into the ring behind Sasha, wrapping an arm around her throat and throttling for dear life!
Dudley: Are you shitting me?! BARBIE?!?! Is she really even alive after that fall???
Pat: Apparently so - and look what she's doing! A dragon sleeper on Sasha - who has a Sharpshooter on Sky! This is a precarious position - all three women are extremely weakened and pushed to the limit... won't take long for someone to tap! But who? Who would move on to become champion?!?!
At last, Sasha - suffering the brunt of it mostly - releases Eden Sky - who fled the ring - to sling Barbie off and stop the choke! Barbie can't get back up too fast - which means Sasha is on her in a heartbeat, dropping elbows and forearms onto Barbie - who counters by punching Sasha in the face, getting back up, and putting Sasha down with a gordbuster! Sasha's face bounces off the mat before she lies still... and Barbie closes in for the kill, wearily pinning her sister!
Dudley: Hold it, where'd the ref go? SOMEONE DISAPPEARED THE REF!
The ref only seemed to disappear... because Eden Sky had pulled him to the outside, where she was! The ref blew up at her, while all Eden could do was smile sheepishly...
And inside the ring, Barbie was far from pleased... Eden had just cost her a valuable chance to put the match way! She stumbled over to the edge of the ring to hurl some choice curse words at Eden Sky while the ref was busy yelling his head off at Eden as well.
So nobody noticed when Sasha, almost dead on her feet, snuck up on Barbie... and crowned her with the Lil WMD!
Pat: No, not the loaded glove! I saw it - she put something in that glove of hers before she took out her own sister! Not like this!
The ref slides back into the ring as Sasha goes to cover Barbie...
But there's no count! Instead, the ref is pulling at Sasha's glove!
Dudley: The ref knew! Maybe because Eden Sky told him while they were outside the ring! See, Patsy? Eden IS a wonderful and virtuous woman -
The ref steals away the glove and tosses it out of the ring as he goes to check on Barbie... and Sasha is LIVID. She drops her cold, vicious persona... and replaces it with a loud, uncontrollable and volatile tone as she starts to yell and scream at him "I HAD A LEGAL PIN, YOU STUPID FAT BASTARD!!! I WASN'T CHEATING - I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HAPPENED WITH THE GLOVE!" The ref pays her little attention, instead checking to see if Barbie is breathing.
All this time, Sasha was going thermal until she realized... something was wrong.
She turned to check -
Pat: EDEN HIT SASHA WITH THE BELT!!! RIGHT IN THE FACE - SHE'S OUT COLD!!!! THIS CAN'T BE!!!!
The ref hears an impact, and turns around just in time to see an innocent Eden Sky crouching over Sasha Panzer's prone form - and no title belt anywhere nearby! Eden secures Sasha's shoulders to the mat...
Pat: Don't do it, ref! DON'T DO IT!
Dudley: Do it, ref! TOTALLY DO IT!
Finn Learson: The winner of the match... and STILL JBW Bombshells Champion... EDEN SKYYYYYY!!!
Pat: What an amazing opening bout from our ladies here in JBW!! I’m only speaking for myself here but, man… seeing that has me positive about the Bombshell division going forward. What a match!
Dudley: I’ve seen better but, all the right movements happened at all the right times and I got a ton of fantastic pictures on my phone because of it.
Pat: You sicken me.
Ms. Mayhem walks out to the ring to catcalls from the crowd. She simply smiles at the fans and enters the ring and asks for a mic- which she is given by a stage hand. As she is about to talk, more stage hands enter the ring setting up a 6 foot long table and setting 4 bar stools for the participants in the contest.
Ms. Mayhem: And now for the honor of taking me out at a later date- a Beer Drinking contest between The Panzer Division- Karl and Oli Panzer versus the Pardy Boyz- Rymac and D-Boy. So without further ado, lets get these guys out to get their DRINKSSSS ONNNNN! The losing team is the one who has a member pass out first.
Dudley: Damn, I wish I was one of those guys.
The PARDY BOYZ, D-Boy and Rymac, walk out with a keg each under their arms. They slowly make their way down the ramp to a mixed reaction from the crowd. They get to the ring, slide the kegs in and tell at the stagehands to set them up, which they do. Both Rymac and D-Boy make their way to MS Mayhem when the PANZER DIVISION music starts.