A Stoner Wrestling Fan Reviews: The Raw after "Winner Takes All"
Yes it is me once again, and this time im reviewing something we all enjoy, Raw during the Attitude Era, I figured id use the WWE Network while I can and having seen the Alliance vs WWE match already I decided id try the Raw after it, I was thinking this was when the brand split happened but as of 2 matches in its not been hinted at yet, but im still half sure its gonna happen, any hoo, let me start from where I started.
We get a small video package celebrating the WWE in general throughout the years before we find see Vinnie Mac arriving on a Private Jet, Commissioner Foley meets him inside and they discuss......something, sorry I hit a bong during this part cuz it seemed irreverent and it was that time, if i find it was important ill let you all know, forward to Vince in the ring discussing things again, again i sota wasnt sure or remembering any specifics untill he was in the back talking to a few ECW alums plus Christian and Stacy Kiebler, because there champions, oh we had a segment where Vince got Paul Heyman out to tell him hes fired before Jerry Lawler takes over as JRs assistant before that to.
Anyways we have a fairly strange and short womens match with new champ Trish Stratus and Lita accompanied by Brother Matt, the end came fairly shortly and interestingly when Lita dumps herself outside and is hurt, but Matt picks her up by the refs 5 count and slides her in the ring even though Litas clearly not all there yet, immediately Trish hits a backslide and scores the pin, much to most peoples surprise I assume, the match only really manages a 2/5 since it was short and snappy.
Vince earlier had told RVD that hes in a Handicap Tables match against his friends The Dudleyz and that match is next, cool. entrances on, and the match starts off fairly quick, its not long before Bubbas hit a Bubba Bomb, and holy fuck Devon! a reverse neckbreaker from the top rope on RVD and the man either sells like a freaking champ or had a neck made of rubber because Devon took him halfway along the ring to spike him for that, incdibally hes up not long after and mounting offence with chairs added while 2 tables end up in the ring, RVD starts gaining momentum as he sets Devo on a table and hops up top to try and Five Star Frog Splash, only to....fuck me man, really doesnt care about his health as Devon hopped off the table to let RVD smash his freaking face into the edge and through it, took it like a champ, or possibly was concussed, hard to tell, The Dudleyz follow this by at first hitting a weak 3D, how was it weak? the table beneath didnt even break the first time and RVD got to enjoy the pleasure of smashing through the table for a 3rd time as The Dudleyz win fairly convincingly, 3.5/5 rating from me for this.
Vinnie Macs back in the ring, he calls out his lovely kids who had arrived 5 minutes before in what was quite a coincidence, He scalds them like a father would and offers them the chance to speak, Shane says the better man won basically and exits in comfort, Steph just has a big huge rant sorta that was basically blaming Shane for it all and pouting while she said she loved daddy, which makes the thought of the proposed incest angles that much more terrifying to think of, Vince gets security and Steph is dragged out kicking and screaming.
This may have happened before but World Champ The Rock is confronted by Dork Kurt Angle, Angle does his heelish, i won everything and saved the WWF shtick, Rocky doesnt care and we end up with a challenge as Rock tells Angle to meet him in the ring for a title match, it was a simple time indeed, we end up at the match eventually and its a pretty decent one to be honest, good stuff from both guys as the finish comes when Rock reverse an Ankle lock into a pin for the win, Kurt Angle then attacks after the match and not long after Chris Jericho arrives to attack Rocky to, Chris wasnt long from seeing Vince in the back about something either, Angle uses another Ankle Lock then leaves, Jericho locks in the walls, not once but twice, The match + the attack after nets 4/5 from me.
All the way through whats happened JRs told us that we await Stone Colds arrival so theres that to look forward to also Vince mentioned earlier that He has just thought of his Kiss My Ass club, and one WCW guy will be the first to join, and here we have Vince right now to tell us who he has selected to do the deed and its......William Regal, and it pains me a little bit but i admit Regal is just as good at being the comedy guy as he is a ring technician, he seems to think Vince is merely joking, he realises soon that Vince doesnt joke about someone kissing his ass, he lays down the law, kiss my ass, yes or no? Regal accepts and we trickle ever so slowly to the moment in question, which ive seen in passing but will admit still cops a cheap laugh especially when Vince just pulls a cheap one and pulls down his pants for a bare ass kissing, yes completely bare as boxers go down to, we have various different hilarious things involving Vinces ass....as you do, let me remind you this isnt just one big metaphor for the state of todays wwe, and we finally have the moment while Jerry pisses his pants in laughter, sad yet hilarious, segment nets a 3/5.
The Big Red Machine is appearing and JR mentions he has a match with Jericho, which mustve been booked when i wasnt paying attention, Regal gets his sad moment replayed and his furious in the back at everyone, which includes Tazz who calls him a kiss ass and Regal cheap shots him for it before we turn to Y2Js entrance. Kane enters with what is and will forever be the best music the WWEs had, looks badass as usual as I assume this was Vinces punishment for Jericho somehow.
Basic start here as Jericho eventually takes over when he drapes Kanes neck over the ropes from the outside before grinding on him with punches for a while, apparantly theres a proud Lorry in the audience if the fucking giant horn sound was anything to go by, Jerichos sneaked a low blow on Kane as action spills outside, Jericho has a chair but Kane boots him in the face to take over, Kane goes up top and even though Jericho took a good 5 secs to grab the chair, Kane jumps into the chair in the face anyways as Jerichos DQ'ed, he attacks after the match and strangely seems to take a good 3 attempts to properly lock on The Walls for punishment, JRR plays it off as Kane being strong but it ended up a lil weird, Jericho does it again and slips on The Walls again quickly before he leaves, The match plus Jerichos attack net 2.75/5 from me, the match was fairly slow and ended pretty quickly but the attack was alright if odd for Jerichos minor botch.
Dork Angles in the back moaning, he comes across Edge, asks him to thank him for saving his job like hes tried before, Edge tells him hes a cunt (not really but thats how it seemed anyways) before he leaves, we turn to the ring as Regal is entering, according to JR its an impromptu match, Regal vs Tazz, the justification for this math happening was that 5 minutes they spent earlier that lead to exactly one push, Tazz starts off quick untill Regal starts getting stiff, so stiff infact that smoke fills the ring....not sure what actually happened but Regal knees Tazz's face then stretches him untill Tazz taps, hey Regal looked strong for a guy who planted his lips on Vinces ass. 2.5/5 for a short but sweet segment/match.
Angle is sulking once again, Vince cheers him up with the WWF title for free, wow that was easy, Stone Cold is meant to be champ but Angle stole the belt at the end of Survivor Series says Jr as both Vince and Kurt enter the ring to have a belt ceremony of some sort I guess, Vince talks up Kurt to the fans dismay before trashing Stone Cold a bit, Vince says Steves title is stripped....and just before he hands it to Kurt we hear a certain mr Flairs music, hey brand split time maybe. Ric tells us he bet on a winner last night, as usual he sounds shitfaced or not far off, we get some mumbo jumbo about comsortiums that explains why Ric is Vinces partner now, and now we have the Glass shatter and an unfamilier Austin theme, but here he comes and he quickly attacks Angle, following up with Vince which sends the big heels running while Austin stares at and then takes the WWF title from Flair as the Steveweisers are thrown out and we have an enjoyable segment overall. 4/5 and hey thats the end, one forgets that Raw was shorter back then, dont worry my friends because ill watch the next raw after and make it the part 2 to this part 1.
But overall we have a pretty decent show but it was a bit light on actual wrestling action as you realise that Rock vs Angle is basically our main event but its blown halway in and followed by the last match in Kane vs Jericho, niether match was anything bad, but overall it didnt matter to much, a nice show if a little tame given the lofty expections people have of the attitude era, 3.75/5, ill see you guys next time for RAW 444, the start of the draft one assumes. unless that happened on a Smackdown, ill check that out and figure out what to watch, peace.