IWA Revolution: Episode #3
Location: Buffalo, New York
Location: Buffalo, New York
Michael Cole: Ladies & Gentlemen! We welcome you to IWA Revolution, and we are live from a sold out First Niagara Centre in downtown Buffalo, New York! I’m Michael Cole, alongside Josh Matthews and what a line up of action we have planned out for you tonight!
Josh Matthews: That’s right! Last week, Chris Diamond qualified for the Endurance Championship match at Death By Glory by beating Darius the Champion! Tonight, we will see if Abel can do the same!
Michael Cole: And Chris Diamond himself will be in action against Oscar Layman!
Josh Matthews: As well as Archer Black going head-to-head with Chris Gatling in a rivalry that has burst onto the scene recently!
Michael Cole: Also tonight, we’re expecting to see all three men in the IWA Championship match at Death By Glory; Mr. Blood, Mr. Black and KJ Punk!
Josh Matthews: As well as the IWA Tag Team Champions Carlos Alberto Ramon and Van Hooligan X plus the reactions of General Manager David Ryan, as well as Damaged Goods and KayFabulous to The Infection’s actions and words last week!
Michael Cole: Speaking of which!
Josh Matthews: Here come Damaged Goods!
The crowd jeers, as the trio steps out onto the stage, not exactly with happy expressions. They storm down to ringside, before Schweizner orders Gaileo to grab a microphone, which he promptly does and delivers to Schweizner, and the three men enters the ring.
Schweizner: This is frankly moronic now. Last week, we got screwed. Night of Legends, we got screwed. Last Resort, we got screwed. The Infection continues to attempt to undermine us, and now, this is beyond normal, even for a wrestling show!
We lost our titles due to AJ Dixon and Athena - not Carlos Alberto Ramon and Van Hooligan X. We lost our rematch in a steel cage, due to Athena and Dixon, not Ramon and Van. And last week, we could finally win fairly, finally regain our gold in a fair match, but the opportunities gone - due to Ramon and Van.
Gaileo here hit the G-Drop - we were a matter of seconds before reclaiming what's rightfully ours. This crap that gets pulled on us is ridiculous. We should never have lost these titles, yet somehow, Gaileo and Gommenta has gone over three months now without gold.
Now Kay- ~Schweizner says, rather campy, whilst clicking his fingers~ FAB-U-LOUS... last week, on the stick you impressed me. I know you're used to holding something that rhymes with stick, but speaking, you were actually close to entertaining! More than Ramon's ever been! And Van - over-rated, over-performed, and normally bending-over. But you can take this "shooting" and shove it up your arse!
~The crowd jeers loudly, as Schweizner just raises his middle finger, drawing more heat.~
This Kayfabe malarkey is just shite, it really is. While this may be Sports Entertainment, it doesn't make you any more likely to win. Gaileo and Gommenta against McDonalds and whoever the other douche is that I cannot remember, in the Octagon. Tell me how you would escape? Because you would have to have quite a vivid imagination. Gaileo can tear that thick skull of yours, if it puts him a step closer to regaining our titles. And Gommenta, well I think we all know what's it like to be sucker-punched in a Bar once you've had a few too many. But Gommenta can inflict that much pain with just a slap. Hell, I expect he can make you "blade it up", just by staring at you for a minute.
But I'm rambling. Last week, the Intensity you showed puts you level with my 18 month old nephew. The balls you showed though, stepping into the ring, fairly no less, has at least gives you some respect from me. You didn't have any help to attempt to win, you didn't play any mind games. And when you would've lost, I'm sure you would've made no excuses.
But that's why you don't belong in this business.
~An explosion of boos from the crowd echos around the arena.~
Sometimes you need a helping hand, and sometimes, that is fine. But when you can only win, and keep gold, through the help of others - that's abnormal. Damaged Goods never needed me in every one of their title defences. But when neither AJ Dixon nor Athena has been at ringside: they lost. Two weeks ago, The Infection lost to Black Blooded, but that should've been us.
Death by Glory is coming up, and based on the inevitable victory that would've happened last week, Damaged Goods should be rewarded with a title shot. It's time for a fair Two-on-Two match, and we need to prove that while greats, like Freddie Mercury, fell to an Infection, we won't do the same. Gaileo and Gommenta are the cure to the Infection, but all that's needed is One Chance.
Michael Cole: Oh god, who invited these out here?
Josh Matthews: They obviously have a lot to say after last week!
*The crowd suddenly pops as Kayfabulous makes their way to the ring. Ron already has a microphone in his hand so when the two men get in the ring, Ron starts speaking.*
Macoonie: If you want moronic, all you’ve got to do is listen to yourself and the way you’re carrying on. Number one, I laid off of McDonald’s years ago, pal. It’s all about Sonic’s Bacon Double Cheeseburgers now. Number two, it’s funny you mention the intensity of 18 month old little boys because with the way you’re bitching right now, I’d say you’re a bit more on par with that than we were last week. Number three, if I have to hear your out clause on how Damaged Goods is always getting screwed one more time, I’m going to go insane and believe me, an endless loop of “Call Me Maybe” and 7-Eleven running out of powdered donuts are the only two things that can do that to me. And number four and most importantly, here you are again acting like the entire stinkin’ world revolves around the three of you.
“Woe is me, woe is me! Those mean ‘ol heels got the best of us again! Hmph!” I mean, you’d think that after seeing this cliché play out over and over again, you’d, I don’t know, get the hell over it already? But naaaaaah! That’s not what former tag team champions do! That’s not what big, tough guys do! They don’t know how to take disappointment on the chin and roll with the punches. Apparently, all they want to do is cry and cry and cry when things don’t go their way.
And we don’t want you getting the wrong idea, either. Just because we were on the losing end, before The Infection wanted to stick their noses in business that didn’t concern them enough to get directly involved with, doesn’t mean we’re happy about how things went down either. You wanna know how many tag team championship matches we’ve had since being in the IWA?
*Macoonie holds up a hand and forms an “O” with it.*
Macoonie: Zero. Goose egg. None. But you can ask all of our fans what we do with our blogs and our vlogs and other shit we do for fun on the Internet. We don’t open threads up on wrestling forums under aliases and bitch about how unfair things are. We don’t make vlogs that take shots at management. All we do is go out here in this ring and prove our worth to the world. That’s all we have. But once again, we were deprived of that chance to make a difference.
*Ron passes off the microphone to Skyler Drek.*
Drek: But that doesn’t mean we’re done with you guys. See, despite how things went down, there’s still an air of uncertainty in all of this. Obviously, The Infection doesn’t want either of us to get the shot at their titles and they made sure that it happened. David Ryan found the both us worthy enough to fight The Infection and since neither of us had our hands raised in victory, the way I see it, we…*points between him and Ron*… deserve a shot at The Infection just as much as Damaged Goods does because quite frankly, their run-ins and cheap tactics have cost us a whole lot in our careers, too. But like we said, we’re not going to complain about it. All we want is a peace in mind that we either do or do not deserve to fight for the tag team gold.
But, since it appears that you have so much energy, how’s about instead of waiting around and hoping that we get what we want, we can just settle things right here tonight?
*Skyler nods enthusiastically as the crowd cheers him.*
Drek: Yeah, yeah. We can settle things however you want. A wrestling match, juggling, professional javelin throwing, LARPing, planking…*Ron winces at that*…jogging…*Ron winces even more*…pie eating…*Ron smiles with this proposition*…bungee jumping, Dungeons and Dragons, skydiving, singing….wait, sorry. Those two…sorta don’t talk. My bad. The point is, we’ll stop at nothing to become the IWA Tag Team Champions and we’re prepared to go to war for ‘em so if…