Bienvenidos, fellow humans! Skyler Drek here with another Kayfabulous blog. Think of it as a sort of...early Christmas gift. Once again, I'll be filling in for my good friend, Ron Macoonie, who's still battling that nasty stomach bug and unfortunately, I've gotten a...how should I say this uh...whiff of the side effects. If you love your friends and family, DO NOT take them to Lito's Pizza. Your stomach and dignity will thank you. Alright, now that you've all gotten that medical report on the Coon, we're going to dive right into rather...serious business.
Now, I like to call myself the more refined half of Kayfabulous. Very rarely will my anger boil over, pride get hurt or my feelings get trampled over. And I reaaaaaaally hate to sound like Booker T right now but WHUT DA HAYELL?!!!?
Are you telling me that not one person, ONE person voted for us in the IWA Full Throttle Prediction Contest? The f$3@?!!!? I know, we don't exactly stack up to The Infection but you'd think at least one person out there would stick up for the little guy, ya know? But noooooooooooooooooo! You smarks have to go out and completely disregard us like we're nothing just because of seniority and because they're heels! That hurts, man! That's cold! I mean, c'mon! Out of all of the voters, we couldn't get one vote of confidence from you guys?! Not ONE?! SERIOUSLY?!!!? Are we that insignificant that we can't even be relied on?! Is all of this just worthless?! Ron's blogs? My shirts?! All of our planning? My SHIRTS?! All of that training?! My MOTHERF&%!@ING SHIRTS?!!!? You know how much polyester and cotton come by these days?! It doesn't come cheap @ssholes! It DOESN'T!!!! You'd think that after all of this, all of what we went through, we'd get at least one...just ONE lousy f*$3@ing vote! F*^%$ you, guys! F*&$ YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!!!!!!!!!
But seriously, make sure you guys vote in the Prediction Contest and for those of you who do vote for us, if we win at Full Throttle, you'll be sent a promo code that gives you 50% off of all "In The Know" T-shirts that are NOW available on IWAShop.com. Sure, there's a good chance you'll be deprived of points but I know you want that "Hand Young's Father" shirt, right? Riiiiiiiight?
Moving on, now that our rather shameful self promotion is done, we're going to move on and evaluate who believe to be the best and worst talents here in the IWA so first off, we're gonna start off with the best:
Guys like him are why I'm an atheist. But don't tell him I told you all that. Anyways, I've got to say that this guy is the absolute best promo cutter this company's got so far. Master heel, commanding in-ring presence, great seller...I'd praise his gimmick but it's too familiar with EWNCW's own Ronaldo Romulus so no points for you there my friend. Despite that, he's a man who captivates our attention wherever he goes, in the ring and on the stick. Give this man a title run. NOW. And with that, we'll go with the worst.
Oh, Brock, we know you're trying. You really are but when your losing streak stretches longer than the San Andreas Fault, including to a rookie, you know you're doing something wrong. It's time to go back to the drawing board, kid. Ask creative for a gimmick chance or something but you keep clowning around like this and things will not go end well for you.
Now, hopefully, no one gets offended. These evaluations are fair and unbiased and Edwards being at the bottom has nothing to do with him hazing me when we first debuted back in ICW, okay? NOT AT ALL I TELL YOU! #nevergointheshowersalone
Alright folks, that's a wrap. Again, go order Full Throttle from your local cable provider and watch Kayfabulous make their PPV debut. Happy holidays and if you find your self under the mistletoe with your touchy-feely aunt, fake a heart attack. It works every time.
Until next time,
Hahahaha this is hilarious!! Well done sir!
E-fed: Jackson "The Boss" Smith- IWA & former ICW superstar
DJ "The Ladies Man" Williams w/ Rosita-EWNCW
Devon "Just Damn Good" Jones
Ali: I have a guessing game to play for anyone who has the stones to try and win some money from me. Be warned guessing wrong will be a painful experience for you. Now how this works is, I have four hats here.
*Ali points to a table in front of him, on it are four magicians top hats.*
Ali: This *Ali holds up a rectangular pad of paper*, this is a checkbook. I'm going to take a check out of here and I'm going to write the number Ten Thousand then I'm going to write Dollars. I'm going to sign it and it is going under one of these hats. After I move the hats around you simply have to guess which hat the money is under. Easy right. Well if you think it's easy step up and give it a go. But be warned if you're wrong it will cost you. Come on folks, don't be shy.
*Ali writes the check and then places it under the hat furthest on the left. He moves the hat to the furthest right and back and then in the middle, then to left. Right one and then left and left and right*
Ali: So what's it gonna be folks Hat 1, Hat 2, Hat 3 or Hat 4?
*Dingo Mac walks up to the table he lifts it up and sees a can of fosters*
Ali: I'm so sorry, you lose. You can keep that beer if you want. I guess.
*Dingo skulls the beer immediately and falls to the floor coughing and spluttering as foam comes out from his mouth.
Ali: Oh I forgot to mention, there's poison in that beer...
*Ali shakes his head and gives an evil Grin.*
Ali: Dingo, mate, you have got to be the dumbest fuck I've ever met. I told you guessing wrong would have painful side effects... Better piss off to the hospital before you, you know, DIE!
*DJ from EWA appears*
DJ:I like games, can I plays game?
Ali Kazam: What are you doing here man?
DJ: I just told you I like games.
Ali Kazam: Well I guess you can play, if you must. I was kinda hoping some of the IWA roster would come and join me, but I guess like the crowd they have no respect and don't know what good entertainment is.
DJ: Well I pick hat # 2
*DJ Grabs hat # 2 and sees a cake.*
DJ: CAKE!!!!!!! I LOVE CAKE!!!!!
Ali: Don't touch the cake idiot... Surely you know it's not safe. I mean Dingo is in hospital because of what I made appear under his hat.
DJ: Must have cake...
*DJ makes an attempt to grab the cake... Instead he gets Ali Kazam's fist straight in his face knocking him out.*
Ali: As much as I would enjoy watching you writhe in pain DJ, I kinda like the idiot you are. It's funny. Nonetheless, time for you to disappear again.
*Ali snaps his fingers and DJ vanished into the deepest corners of Van's mind.*
Ali: Alex Kidd? What the hell are you doing here? I thought you died?
*Alex Kidd doesn't say a single word he just lifts the hat and sees his Career drowning in acid. Yes he sees his Career. Without a word Kidd pulls out a knife and drives it into his own chest.*
Ali: Well that was not what I thought he would see under the hat... Better get him some medical help...
*Ali waves his hands and Alex Kidd ends up on the operating table of a veterinarian clinic.*
Ali: GET OUT OF HERE JOHNNY... I want someone from IWA to take the last hat. *Too late, Johnny Fucking Hot has made his entrance. He takes off his shirt for no apparent reason and is jumping up and down then he walks up and approaches Ali Kazam and his table.*
Johnny Hot: Too fucking bad you smelly scumbag, I'm here, I'm queer and I'm taking that hat.
Ali: You're Queer alright, but you aren't taking the hat... wait. I changed my mind. Lift the hat for me.
*Little man Johnny Hot lifts up the hat and Ali Kazam grabs the Baretta from underneath it. He unloads the bullets into Johnny Hot's knees and throws the gun at Johnny's head.*
Ali: Now fuck off, you ruined my fucking game... I was trying to entertain the IWA people and you, Dingo, DJ and Alex Kidd had to make Cameos during my scene. YOU RUIN EVERYTHING!
*Ali Kazam furious at how the people from his past have ruined his another part of his life storms away from the mess of Johnny Hot he left laying next to the table.*
Last edited by B-MCINTYRE; 12-21-2012 at 07:40 AM.