Thompson: Good evening folks, EWNCW anchorman Dick Thompson here!
Ahead of EWNCW's upcoming ppv; 'In Violence We Trust', we have some news on who will be lining up at the commentary table!
With EWNCW legend Bodom participating in a match, we can report that he will not be behind the table at the ppv, as he will be backstage throughout the entire show.
With that in mind, I can proudly announce that replacing Bodom at the table will be none other than........ EH?!?!?!
*Thompson looks off camera to his right*
Thompson: But..... there must be some mistake here?!?! What?!?!?!...... NO?!?!?!?!?! But I've done it before!!! On Rage!!! I filled in for the man before!!! I DID A GOOD GOD DAMN JOB!!!!!!!!! I DID A GOOD JOB I TELL YOU!!!!!!!!
*Thompson looks straight ahead into the camera again, composes himself, adjusts his hair, collect the papers he's strewn all over the desk, swipes the spilled coffee mug off the desk (which can be heard smashing on the floor), and puts on a trademark smile before continuing*
Thompson: The man replacing Bodom behind the commentary table at the ppv will be none other than EWNCW's young color commentator from Warzone; Josh King
*Thompson lets out the name with much effort from behind his clenched teeth and obviously fake smile*
Thompson: With the Warzone show announced as, and I quote, "On Ice" by EWNCW management, both Warzone play by play commentator Bryan Thomas and color commentator Josh King's futures are in limbo as to what will happen to them. But evidently, EWNCW plan on keeping both on board, as King has been handed the chance to commentate at this big event.
This is a big chance for the young King to show his skill on the big stage.
*Thompson smiles away before letting out a big sigh, thinking that the show's off air. He reaches under the desk and brings up an EWNCW mug and a bottle of vintage whiskey, pouring himself a mug*
Camera man: Ummm Dick?....
Thompson: I mean how can they do this to me guys?! commentated on Rage before for Bodom and I was AWESOME!!
*He takes a swig of the whiskey*
Thompson: I mean that Josh King? Really? He has no experience on the big stage!!
Camera man: Umm, Dick?....
Thompson: He's never called Rage or Inferno yet he's deemed qualified to call a damn ppv?! How the hell does that work out?!?!
*He takes a swig from the whiskey bottle*
Camera man: Ummm, Dick?....
*The camera man points to the red light indicating that they're still on air*
Thompson: Oh!! Right!!
*Thompson tosses the whiskey bottle away (which also lands with a SMASH off screen), before putting on his trademark smile again and collecting his papers*
Thompson: That's all for now folks! We'll bring you the latest as we get it!!