Hello folks, EWNCW anchorman Dick Thompson here with an EWNCW exclusive!!
We've been reporting during the past week or so that EWNCW management are in deep discussions about a big announcement that will, and I quote, "affect all talents on the main EWNCW singles roster".
We can now exclusively report that the formal announcement will take place on tonight's ppv; Rise from he Ashes. We can report that both GM's of Rage and Inferno; John Cleverly and Nathan Staples will appear on the ppv to make the announcement themselves. All talents are eager to know what this major announcement will be!
In other news, EWNCW legend Bodom has been medically cleared to re-commence his commentating duties.... and will be on hand for tonight's ppv...?!?!?! WHAT?! Is this real? Who wrote this? Is someone messing with the auto-cue here?! After my outstandingly professional work on Rage it's a given that I would become permanent commentator!!
God damn it!!
I digress..... Here is the full card for tonight's ppv in no particular order:
EWNCW Championship match
K-Jamminvs TBOZ (Jman special guest referee)
Triple threat match
Seraphim vs Kayden James vs Ronaldo Romulus
Evolution Championship match (2/3 falls match)
Ryan Wells vs Istvan Gretzky
Rage Ignition Championship match
The Blue Flash vs Shaz
Seth Ferrell vs Rain
Andy Amazing vs Daymian Bloodstone
EWNCW Championship Match
Krysys vs Tommy Thunder
EWNCW International Champion
King Strem vs Billy McCoy
EWNCW Ignition Title Match
Mikkel Gunnar-Freyr vs Sweet Jones
Gillz vs Nightmare
Andy Cannon vs Mike Hawk
Arthur Lansdale vs Rob Rage
Mark Dimensions vs Raden Blaine
Iron Man Match:
Mixed Emotions vs. The Bloodstone Empire
Grand Championship Title Match:
Payne and Torcher vs. The Blacklist Royalty.
Intercontinental Championship Match:
Twisted and Slither vs. The Sexiest Alpha Males
Gates of Hell Match Blacklist Championship:
The Shadows of Madness vs The Jesting Madness
We can confirm that the main event for the evening will be the EWNCW Championship match with Krystian Krysys defending against Tommy Thunder.
Finally, I can exclusively announce that I will file a lawsuit against The Beard of Zeus unless he adequately compensates me for the bottle of 50 year old scotch that he spilled on the last episode of Rage.
I WANT MY SCOTCH DAMNIT!!
Ahem.... that's it for now folks, we'll bring you any updates as and when we get them.