Battlezone: Ep 1. -
Jason Rogers: Welcome to the first episode of BattleZone everyone! I am Jason brown, alongside me is my partner-in-crime and lazier of the two, Nick Brown.
Nick Brown: You forgot better looking of the two! But tonight we have some great squash matches for you all!
Jason Rogers: Oh stop it, they are all even matches, but let's hear from our new GM, Johnny "Mr. Excitement" Lauranitis.
Nick Brown: Oh boy, this was a huge signing for us, the best GM in the world is in BattleZone!
Johnny: My name is John Lauranitis and I'm the NEW GM of BattleZone.
*Crowd begins to boo*
Johnny: Now let me assure you, since Mr. Excitement is here, this will be an exciting show, along with every show I am on!
*Crowd again boos*
Johnny: Now thank you for your warm welcomes. Tonight we start the first tournament, the IWF Anarchy Title tournament. Now the first match is going to be a show-stealer. Lets get this show started.
Jason Rogers: Yes this our first match of the night!
Nick Brown: Calm down before you piss your pants like a little school girl going to see a Jonas Brothers concert.
Jason Rogers: You can't blame me cause this match will feature "The Rated R Superstar" Edge against Cody McDerrell.
Nick Brown: Oh great this going to be a piss break match.
Jason Rogers: Hey you may never know this match might be the best match.
Nick Brown: Only an idiot like you may think that.
Jason Rogers: Lets not argue cause here comes McDerrell.
Cody: Howdy y'all! Ah'm Cody McDerrell, aka Mr. Southern Thunder! Ah'm here in IWF ta bring some hillbilly up North, an' ta impress the fans!
Cody: Ah've bin waitin' ta beat some scoundrels fer a long ass time, and ah think ah've found the perfect place!
*Crowd Yells "IWF!"*
Cody: Yer Damn right! Ah've bin buildin' ma strength up fer this by huntin', fishin', plantin', an' muddin', an' now ah'm more ready than anyone else! Ah bought a new flannel shirt fer ma debut, an' ah did not pay that money ta lose! Tonight Ima have an open challenge, and ah wanna take on someone who's wronged ma fans!
*Crowd Chants "Cody! Cody!"*
Cody: Not only am ah dedicatin' this match ta y'all, ah'm also dedicatin' this match ta the late an' great Dale Earnhardt Senior! And after ah win, MOONSHINE IS ON ME!!!!
Cody: So come on, are all uh y'all in the back a buncha pansies er somethin'? Someone git out here! NOW!
Nick Brown: Who's idea was it to hire this Hillbilly.
Jason Rogers: I dare you to say that to our bosses.
Nick Brown: Who cares and now here comes Edge.
Jason Rogers: Just one line is all Edge needs.
Nick Brown: Shut Up!!! Start this match already.
(Brodus Clay - Edge / Joey Gray - Cody McDerrell)
Nick Brown: What did I tell you this was a piss break match.
Jason Rogers: Well atleast Edge got the job done but somebody better check on McDerrell.
Nick Brown: Nobody cares about that stupid Hillbilly.