SHOW: AWF Zero Gravity
[THE BREAK DOWN]
SCS,DJ Black,HolyJose Segement:
I like it alot I just wish I had more background info on the storyline currently going on between them all. One thing I liked alot about the promo is the fact in the beginning it seem like SCS was going to strip the champ from the title and reward it to DJ Black. The one thing I would of change would of been Alexander coming out too and cutting a short promo just because if I'm current he is the champion and since the whole promo was surround around the Championship I just thought it would of made sense to have the champ out there too saying something.
Rob Rage Promo:
Overall the promo was short and sweet I would just recommend that next time you do a promo before a match you write a little description as far as where he is cutting the promo because I was a little lost as far as where he was when he was cutting the promo, Idk if he was cutting the promo walking down the ramp or backstage.
Straight Edge & TOAK and Il Cattivo Promo:
This promo segment was so confusing not because of the things that was being said but because (maybe it just me) I couldn't tell who was who, I would recommend that anytime different members of a tag team or stable talk you induct what team/stable they're about of. Example T.O.K-"NAME Initials" I just believe this would help people who are not cult followers of your E-fed to know who is talking at times and also know what team they're about of because like i said before it was hard to follow the promo segment because i couldn't tell who was apart of what team.
Again I couldn't tell where or when this promo was taking place I would just do the same thing I recommend for the "Rob Rage Promo". Beside that the promo was pretty short I wish it was a little longer but overall it was good, Jman went straight to the point.
Match 3: AWF Adrenaline Champion Jman vs. Artemis Eclipse Segment:
The ending was perfect it wasn't too much and wasn't too little. Gillz running down the ramp and costing Jman the match was a great way to push their on going feud even more.
I liked the message of the promo basically stating how he is the better man between him and Jman and how he is going to prove it in the Ironman match. The promo was good the only thing I would change is I would of had Gillz not only cost Jman the match but attack him after and then cut a promo then go back to attacking Jman which would of ended with people coming out to stopping it. IMO this would of not only put the feud over more but also made Gillz look like a serious threat to Jman Championship. BTW Gillz winning his match right after was a great way to put him over I like how Gillz is being put over in a big way.
Again I had no clue if that was a promo or part of his Entrance it was just very random, I just recommend next time inducting somehow if it is part of the entrance or just him cutting a promo coming out or in the ring. My guess is it was part of a rapping Entrance kind of like R truth or Road Dogg anyways I found it pretty Catchy.
I hate to repeat myself but again I couldn't tell if this was a promo happening while walking down the ramp or in the ring, IMO the promo sounded like a promo that should of came on before either man came out kind of like a backstage promo or like a when WWE plays pre-taped promos that got done earlier that night. As far as the promo itself it was pretty good I like your style when cutting promos as far as the words you use, it reminds me so much of Chris Jericho.
Alex Kidd Promo:
Finally! In this promo i love the fact that you did something so small as writing " alex kidd signals for a microphone" something so small like this makes a big difference. Anyways back to the actual promo LMAO your the man I love the fact how you play the crowd basically making them feel like idiots because they're paying to see someone they hate. The only thing I would change is I wouldn't repeat the fact they're paying to see you and if they don't want to see you they shouldn't pay after the first time it just loses its fire. Another thing I would of done is when the crowd chanted " PUNKMARK PUNKMARK PUNKMARK" I would made a few comments about him instead of going back to the whole booing you thing. BTW the fact that Alex Kidd is undefeated still is pretty interesting I cant wait to see where this goes hopefully it doesn't ended like most undefeated guys in wrestling.
HolyJose 2nd Promo:
Just like I stated before next time just make it a little clear as far as where and when this promo is happening it just easier to understand. As far as the promo goes it was good reminded me of something Vince would do lol. Pretty Sick I like the idea of Holyjose being in charge.
Avidco & Jason Alexander Promo:
The Promo segment lack Originality it was the same " I hate him, I hate you, Screw management" promo. I was hopping that the promo would be focused more of both guys anger toward each other and going into more details rather than just saying they don't like each other. Overall Decent promo I expect more seeing how it was the promo leading up to the main event match.
The ending of the main event match was perfect, It was the perfect way to set up for Broc's big show ending promo. I think this promo is by far the best promo I've read in this show. Broc saying how he could of been champion right now but was going to wait and beat the champ the right way was pretty sick, right there kind of shows how Broc is so full of himself that he unlike most people who would take advantage of a weak champion but not Broc he thinks he so good that he feels he can beat the champ at 100%. Overall great promo also btw I love how you rip apart both Jason Alexander and Avidco promo work, great job on this promo.
When promo/segments had details in it, it was very entertaining to read. Also I think all the feuds/storylines are being really built up which is a very hard thing to do when it comes to handling several feuds at once, It great to see you guys are being very successful at it. Plus the fact that I have never read a show before and I could somewhat understand whats going on means you're doing something right. I believe if you guys work a little more on Character development and promo work I think you guys can easily be major players.
The show felt like a big rush I wish there was a few backstage interviews & segments. Also when promos are being done I felt that i couldn't tell where and when it was being cut, like i said before just saying simple things as "So & So is walking down the ramp with a mic" or "So & So is backstage or in the ring with a mic or signaling for a mic". These small things make a major difference when it comes to painting a picture for the readers. Last I would try to make each wrestler personality and promo style different from the others because alot of the promos sounded similar as far as the heels go, maybe it just the show lacks Faces Idk maybe I'm wrong.
FAV 5 LIST:
3. ALEX KIDD