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Thread: JBW Magazine!

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  1. #1

    JBW Magazine!

    Hello everybody and welcome to the JBW Magazine Thread.

    We would like to ask that nobody comment in this thread. Consider it like the JBW Show Thread. I would explain what to expect from the magazine but I think you all have waited long enough and I believe we should just let the magazine speak for itself.

    So, here is the first issue and we would like to thank Jman, K-Jammin, and Kashdinero for their contributions. Thank you for reading and we hope you enjoy it.

    JBW Magazine
    October 10, 2011

    (Just imagine Kashdinero, wearing a suit and a big smile on his face, on the cover.)

    Hello and thank you for purchasing the first issue of JBW Magazine.

    In this issue we are going to have profiles for JBW wrestlers HolyJose, The Alpha Dog, and Ma$$Dinero. We are also going to have a music break where HolyJose reviews the music you should be listening to and a shooter edition of Epic Games where our very own Chris Wardhick will review the New York destroying Crysis 2 and the game that will make you scratch your head more than once, Deus Ex: Human Revolution. We also have the Indy Spin where we will interview HWA Superstar Dave Sullivan and AWF Superstar Axxel Sonn. Our resident smartass Simon Cole will answer your fan mail and to top it all off we will have an exclusive, you heard it here first, shoot interview with the man on the cover, Mr. Kashdinero!! This is going to turn some heads and you can only read what he has to say right here on JBW Magazine. So without any further ado, let’s get started!
    Efed stuff...yeah...

    Luke Jameson

  2. #2

    JBW Profiles!

    For our first profile, we have HolyJose and this was written by the badass himself. Lets take a look!

    Name: HolyJose
    Style: technical and powerhouse
    Bio prior to JBW: HolyJose was born to immigrant parents in the state of Virginia since 2004 he had gotten heavily into pro wrestling and in his junior year of high school he joined the wrestling team as a heavyweight wrestler. in the 08-09 season he went undefeated and became state champion a high light of his amateur career. After graduating George Mason University with his Psychology degree he decided to start training to be a pro wrestler and quickly enrolled into KYDA Pro Wrestling. After dominating the Indy scene he went to Mexico where he joined CMLL where he and HWA Wrestler "The Angel of Death" formed a dominating tag team known as "God's Grace" or la Gracia De Dios in CMLL. Soon after winning the Tag gold they fought for the CMLL World Title where HolyJose won his first whorl heavyweight championship. After losing both titles due to the Angel of Death's jealousy he went to AAA and quickly became their top star winning the AAA World Heavyweight Championship. While also wrestling in Mexico he was in NJPW where he fought his way to the top and was quickly hated there while holding the AAA World title he also won the IWGP World Heavyweight championship. Though after 6 months of holding both belts he felt the need for more competion so he lost the titles and went off to Europe where he wrestled in Irish Whip Pro Wrestling and while not winning any titles over there he showed off his great technical ability. He then had a try out match with ROH and he and the Angel of Death reformed God's Grace to dominate the best tag team division holding onto the ROH World Tag Team Championship for a while up until The Angel of Deaths ego got the better of him and won all the major world titles in the US, defeating me for the ROH World Heavyweight Championship. After this I was contacted by WWTNA Mark telling me to check out JBW and fell in love instantly where he was immediately put into the faction SuperNova to go up against the Five Star Attraction. And is now maing his singles run and become the next Warfare TV Champion. The future is looking bright for HolyJose in JBW where the sky is the limit.

    Finisher: The Final Judgement ( spinning reverse DDT like the Cross Rhodes) and a spinning spine buster sometimes done from the top rope
    Signature moves: german suplex, double leg take down, 3 amigos (in honor of the late great Eddie Guerrero).
    Enterance Theme: Asylum by Disturbed

    hope you guys enjoyed this little insight into HolyJose's early career to recap former AAA, CMLL, IWGP, and ROH World Champion and fomer CMLL and ROH Tag Champs

    While in JBW

    HolyJose has gone on to be a major up and coming force. He joined the group Supernova to battle against the FSA. During this time he had an epic feud with then Warfare Television Champion Markus Beerstein and it ended with him capturing the before mentioned title. He has also went on to become a first ever JBW dual as he now carries both the Warfare TV Title and the Warfare Tag Team Titles. This guys star is on the rise in JBW and who knows where it will stop.

    Next we have the crazy, rage filled, referring to himself in the third person, Alpha Dog and quite the past he has had.

    Gabriel Xander/ The Alpha Dog

    Height: Six Foot Three
    Weight: Two Hundred Forty Five Pounds
    Hometown: Edmonton, Alberta Canada
    Finishers: The Alpha Grip (Half Nelson Sleeper Hold)
    The Alpha Shock (Double Underhook Driver)

    The Bio (Quite a bit of this wrestlers information is missing)

    It is unknown how Gabriel was raised with his parents in Edmonton, but it culminated with him being swept up into Canadas Foster Care System. Gabriel was a shy boy who had a hard time making friends or participating in school due to his inability to socialize with other children. He then started getting into fights with other children due to them picking on him. He was kicked out of many of the schools that he was in due to this problem which caused any foster parents that took him in problems as well. He went through a couple of families, but was never wanted for long. He stayed in Foster Care until the age of eighteen when they kicked him out. With no family to help him and no education or skills to get a decent job, Gabriel joined a gang. Not much is known of this gang but at the end of his time with them, he was told to do something he couldn’t do. He had a falling out with them, and was left for dead by them. It took a few days before a homeless man found him and he was sent to the hospital. Once he was cured, he was forced to realize his reality once again. He had no friends, no family, and no education. He didn’t like what he had to do but he had to survive.

    On a faithful night, he went to mug a man who was leaving a gym in Edmonton. This man later became the biggest influence in Gabriels wrestling training and also the reason Gabriel was able to gain a job. This man worked for a major wrestling promotion when Gabriel met him. He got Gabriel a job for this wrestling promotion as a roadie. During this time, Gabriel was trained and given great insight into the world of wrestling. Some of the wrestlers that trained him include: Lance Storm, Tazz, Kurt Angle, and Chris Jericho. With the money that he received from his job, he was also able to receive an education.

    Things were looking up for Gabriel until the day the life of the man, who helped him so much and became a major part of his life, came to a tragic end. When Gabriel received the news of this, something broke in Gabriels mind and on that day, Gabriel became The Alpha Dog. The Alpha Dog then went on to wrestle in many different promotions around the world. WWTNA Mark (then owner and founder of JBW) caught word of The Alpha Dog and offered The Alpha Dog a contract to wrestle for JBW.

    Since The Alpha Dog joined JBW, he has taken the JBW universe by storm. His biggest achievement so far in his JBW career was ending the undefeated streak of the unstoppable God of JBW, Zeus Apollo.
    Last edited by zapphoman; 10-10-2011 at 04:38 PM.
    Efed stuff...yeah...

    Luke Jameson

  3. #3
    Next up we have the legend himself. He has the ability, he has the swagger, and he will knock your teeth down your throat with one punch. His name is...


    Height: five foot ten
    Weight: eighteen stone
    Hometown: London, England
    Finisher: "My Friend Went To London And All I Got Was This Blood Stained T-Shirt" (Knock out punch)
    Signatures: London 'bo (roaring elbow)
    Greetings from London (shining wizard)

    The Bio

    Growing up poor in London, England, Ma$$Dinero appreciated the time he had with his uncle, who during this time, taught young Ma$$ the sweet science of boxing. When he wasn’t training with his uncle he used his natural ability to create rhymes to channel the pain he was going through on paper. People slowly found out about his rap ability and Ma$$ became infamous in Londons Underground music scene, but with infamy came haters. Ma$$ was a bar frequent and that is where people would try to prove that they were better than Ma$$Dinero, but were they wrong. Ma$$ quickly grew a rep for bar fights and was known for beating the shit out of anyone who got in his way. Soon, people
    started coming to him with offers. “Come to Rileys Snake Pit and make a lot of money,” they would tell him behind crooked smiles, thinking he would be beaten to a pulp by the more experienced fighters and they would hit the jackpot betting against him due to Ma$$’ underground fame, but once again Ma$$ proved them all wrong. He stood with the best of them and quickly gained respect through the underground fight scene. Here is where he also learned how to wrestle by unknown but very brutal and effective means. After awhile, Ma$$ started looking to a career in wrestling. Due to his fame and skill he was able to skip the indy scene and joined JBW as a rookie. In the eight months of existence of JBW, Ma$$ has gone on to become THE man to beat on Mayhem. Booya!

    Career Highlights

    The Early Days

    Ma$$Dineros bright career highlights from when he first began in JBW started with a feud with Trips, a feud that Ma$$ would win. A little after this feud Ma$$ would go to meet a fellow rapper named SilverCena. These two would go on to form the very popular tag team of SilverMa$$. This team didn’t last unfortunately as Ma$$ was left high and dry when SilverCena controversialy left JBW. Snair has been blamed for this.

    The beginning of a Legend

    Ma$$ befriends a JBW interviewer named Dave and the pair embark on adventures that had the JBW faithful on the edge of their seats with the segments known as The Adventures of Ma$$ and Dave and it the segments become an instant hit! After a feud with Wes Goldman over Wes’ distaste for rap, a man known as St. George arrived in JBW and there was instant tension between Ma$$ and George until one night that changed the landscape of efedding forever. Ma$$, St. George and Siaki shocked the world when they formed V3 (Vini Vidi Vici) in the greatest group reveal in the history of efedding. V3 went on to feud with a group known as The Eye. The group led by Iron Ape buried Ma$$ alive to keep him silenced, but silencing Ma$$Dinero is a lot harder than they thought as Ma$$ digged himself out of his own grave.

    The Last Few Months

    Ma$$ then goes on to feud with the egotistical and brutal K-Jammin. They go on to have the biggest match (and entrances) in front of their hometown fans at Monarchy of Aggression that became a major highlight of their careers. Ma$$ and K-Jam wrestled again at Rampage of the Titans that some critics consider better than the first time as their feud had come to fruition. Though they are not feuding right now, to think they won’t feud again would make people think that you think the moon is made out of cheese.

    What is Ma$$ doing right now?

    Well, he is currently hunting for JBW wrestler RomanFlare in another epic adventure with Dave. So, far he has went to Rome and is now on his way to Las Vegas.

    After all the highlights this young rags to riches has achieved, you would think that he was coming to the end of career, but like everybody else, Ma$$ will prove you wrong. He has just begun!

    Now it is time for the Music Break with HolyJose. Take it away Holy!

    Hello JBW fans it is I HolyJose! music is my big passion so in the first edition of JBW’s magazine and in more to come I’ll be review some albums for your enjoyment JBW!

    Album 1: Escape the Fate- “Escape the Fate”
    Las Vegas Quartet Escape the Fate has returned with their third album Escape the Fate. It is Craig Mabbitt’s second album with Escape the Fate. With prior albums being more vocal based this album includes much more guitar work from guitarist Brian “Money” Monte. It is shows especially in The Aftermatch (Guillotine Part III) where Brian’s guitar solo is reminiscent of Herman Li from DragonForce. The album starts out with an instrumental opener called “Choose Your Fate” which quickly goes into the song “Massacre” which definitely showcases Brian’s guitar skills in the intro riff and one of the heavier songs on the album due to Craig’s screams. After the song it delves into the song “Issues” which is a darker song with lyrics such as “So I try to be silent but my words they explode like hand grenades” and “These issues they choke me like a noose” with an impressive solo after the second verse but is over as soon as it starts. Afterwards is “Zombie Dance” which more or less is just feeding the current takeover of the oncoming Zombie Apocalypse in Popular culture. One of the stand out tracks off the album is “Gorgeous Nightmare” with a great intro riff and great showcase of Craig’s singing voice. The last song Aftermatch(G3) is another standout track with a mixture of screams and singing and also as I stated before an impressive solo from Brian. Overall this album is one of the best and shows that even without Ronnie (whom we’ll get to in the next review) they can release a great album.
    Overall score out of 10 : 8.5/10

    Album 2: “The Drug in Me Is You” by Falling in Reverse
    After a two and a half year stint in prison Ronnie Radke former Escape the Fate vocalist has come back with his second album and his first with new band Falling In Reverse. With a mixture of heavy metal and pop punk this album is full of deep lyrics written while in solitary confinement while in prison to catchy pop choruses. The album is full of resentment towards Ronnie’s former bandmates mainly Max Green (bassist for Escape the Fate) and his replacement Craig Mabbitt. With Lyrics such as “I have learned that my fate is something I can’t escape” and declaring winning the “war” by saying “THIS WAR IS MINE” in reference to Escape the Fate’s second album “This War is Ours.” The album is of course catchy it goes from poppy chorus into a screaming verse as noted in “Sink or Swim” or “Don’t Mess With Ouija Boards” Ronnie and the rest of the band show great use of their instruments and the lyrics are full of emotions from Ronnie’s time spent in jail. Overall the album is a great listen to but does have many references to Escape the Fate and if Ronnie wants to be set apart from ETF and his own band he needs to get rid of the references and focus on his future with Falling in Reverse.
    Overall score out of 10: 7.5/10

    Album 3 “The Classic Corner”: Millennium by The Backstreet Boys
    This is a section I like to call the Classic Corner where I review a Classic album this month is 1998’s Millennium by The Backstreet Boys! This album is the biggest hit album they have ever had. It is their second album in the United States following up their 1996 debut Backstreet Boys, third internationally which is a follow up to Backstreet’s Back. The album is full of catchy lyrics and classic love songs that make all the girls say “awwwww” Lyrically not the deepest but it gets the attention and brings back some classic memories. The album starts out with “Larger than Life” with AJ McLean’s ominous laugh and goes into a catchy pop-rock song that’s out of this world. The lyrics are sexual and subtle with lines such as “Looking at the crowd and I see your body sway come on/ wishing I could thank you in a different way alright” overall the song is catchy and has a great guitar solo with some elements of shredding. It then goes out into “I Want it That Way” Backstreet Boys greatest hit of all time. While no meaning to the song at all the lyrics sure are catchy and it’s a song everyone knows “you are my fire the one desire” and you can certainly finish the lyrics. The album also has its fair share of ballads such as “Show me the Meaning of Being Lonely” a song of being heartbroken, to “I need you Tonight” a song sung entirely by Nick Carter saying he only has eye for one women and he needs to be with her tonight, to “Back to Your Heart” a song of being heartbroken to wanting to know how to fix it and winning back the love of your life. Overall the album while shallow it definitely stood the test of time and the band is still releasing music to this day with their last album out in 2009 with “This is Us” and brings back those 90s memories.
    Overall score out of 10: 9/10
    Last edited by Kashdinero; 10-11-2011 at 02:47 AM.
    Efed stuff...yeah...

    Luke Jameson

  4. #4

    Epic Games!!

    Hello my name is Chris WardHick and I am going to review for you some epic games. Now todays games are shooters and aren't all that different to be honest. So I am going to review them for you and you get to decide which one gets to be in your game system next. First we have...

    Crysis 2

    I am just going to come out and say it, this game is epic! Crysis 2 is one of the few games where I actually felt connected to the goal of the storyline. That goal is…save New York and the game will pound that into your skull with every step you take.

    You play as Force Recon Marine Alcatraz who is sent into New York with his team, who also use prison names, during a deadly outbreak to assist the original Crysis protagonist, Prophet. Before you get a chance to get there though, you’re attacked by an unknown enemy. Long story short, your team is dead and you are the only survivor but you are hanging on by a thread. Prophet finds Alcatraz and, realizing what he has to do, saves Alcatraz life by giving him the very slick and stylish Nanosuit 2.0 and sends Alcatraz on a mission to find a man named Gould.

    Very quickly after you gain the suit, the game starts to show you the wonderful things you can do with it. The suit gives you the ability to jump high, run fast, a cloaking ability if your feeling stealthy, and extra armor if you are feeling suicidal. The armor works pretty well in intense gunfights, giving you some extra time to stay out in the open while being shot at. The cloaking works well too, just don’t get too close to the enemies you are trying to sneak around because they will see you. You can also use a visor that shows you certain tactical aspects of the battlefield that can help you plan how to proceed.

    After a while in the game, you can even start to customize the suit with little perks. These perks mainly revolve around less energy reduction for certain features of the suit but some also include quieter foot steps while in stealth, control while falling, and the ability to track enemy patrols. These abilities can be customized on the fly to better suit the situation that is at hand as long as you have purchased them. The customization for the weapons is just about as deep. You can change the sights, add a silencer, and even add grenade launchers or a miniature shotgun if you have unlocked them by using a weapon that has them. They too can also be customized on the fly.

    New York is in trouble in this game. Its buildings are getting destroyed and its poor poor citizens are either dying by disease or dying from getting caught in the crossfire of the war between the humans or the aliens. The environment around you is constantly reminding you of this and pretty much begging you to continue. In other words, you can feel and see its pain.

    The aliens are an intimidating bunch as well but only come in about four sizes: small grunt, medium soldier, large bulletsoaker, and really big, have to find the weak spot, walking tanks.

    The storyline to me was pretty well done and it has a pretty lengthy progression that paces itself and it’s pretty balanced between the action and the story. You’re not taken away from the action with cutscenes unless you’re transitioning between levels (a type of interactive story telling that I love), there are plenty of collectibles to be found as well, and the only downside I see in the story is the other characters you meet. Let me just say they are very generic and predictable.

    Crysis 2 does have multiplayer, but I didn’t play it. I imagine it’s a lot like other multiplayer features in other games. You know deathmatches, team fights, capture the flag, etc. It’s just now you are doing it with characters who wear super powered nanosuits!

    So, I totally recommend this game to those who are fans of shooters, a good story mode, and a little of inivative gameplay. After I got done with its epic story mode, I wanted to start it over again but hell it was two thirty in the morning and I knew if I did start a new one, I wouldn’t be getting to bed till at least five. It does take awhile to get really exciting but when it does, you won’t want to put the controller down.

    Next up we have...

    Deus Ex: Human Revolutions

    Another awesome game I would like to recommend is Deus Ex: Human Revolution. This game is the long awaited addition to the Deus Ex franchise that is set to be a prequel to the original. Although it was delayed, it turns out the wait was worth it. This game has environments that feel alive, a lot of different ways to approach missions, a pretty complex story, and some awesome customization features.

    This addition starts in the year 2027 (25 years before the original) in the state of Detroit and you play throughout the game as Sarif Industries, the biggest supplier of augmentations in the world, Chief of Security Adam Jensen. The story begins with you (Jensen), in the Sarif Headquarters in Detroit, making preparations for Dr. Megan Reeds’ security detail since she is about to have a press conference to make a huge announcement. In the first few moments, you get a pretty good idea that these two have had history. Long story short, things don’t go as planned due to the headquarters coming under attack by a mercenary force. Jensen becomes mortally injured and is forced to receive Sarif augmentations to save his life. Back from the nearly dead, he starts a journey of working for David Sarif (owner of Sarif Industies) and finding out why the attack occurred that faithful night.

    Now, one of the big things in this game is the augmentations and is where a lot of the customization comes in. These things allow Adam to do some pretty awesome stuff through upgrades. Run faster, hit harder, shoot straighter, cloak, see through walls, break through said walls, and snap the neck of the enemy on the other side, hack better, and jump higher You can buy these upgrades with Praxis points. You get these points for free in the same way that you level up in an RPG but you can also buy them as well. But be sure of the upgrades you want to receive because you are not going to be able to unlock all the upgrades in a single playthrough.

    The other big thing about this game is its very open approach to missions. There are four different ways to get to your objectives and those are running and gunning, stealth, technology, and social and the game gives you plenty of ways to play the you want to. You can go in with a shotgun that has incindary ammo and make your enemies wish they didn’t fuck with you (just make sure you have enough ammo). You can cloak your body, use a augmentation that tracks your enemies, and use a tranquilizer gun so you can slowly get to your objective without anybody knowing you were there (there is actually an achievement/trophy if you can go through the whole game without raising a single alarm and another if you can get through it without taking a single life). You can hack computers to turn off cameras, turn the enemies defenses off, or (and my personal favorite) turn the enemies defenses against your enemies. You can also talk to certain people and find out ways to make a mission easier to get through. Some people can even be manipulated to making other wise difficult situations a lot easier (but where is the fun in that). Anyway you would like to play is covered in this game.

    Although you will be going to many different places in this game, the two main hubs are Detroit and Hong Kong. These areas are expansive and have plenty to do within them. There are the limb clinics where you can purchase praxis points and recovery items, black market vendors that will sell you weapons, ammo, explosive, etc, and plenty of people that you can do things for that can’t do them themselves. These hubs feel alive with people working and just hanging around talking about what’s going on around them and they change as the story progresses so you won’t hear anybody talking about the same things they were talking about two hours ago.

    Now on to two of the things I found unnerving about this game and one is the severe difference in lighting when switching between actual gameplay and cutscenes. For some reason, Squaresoft thought it was a good idea to make the cutscenes lighting so dark that you pretty much have to adjust the screens brightness to really see what is going on in the scene. It is really obvious whenever you go back to gameplay because the lighting in gameplay is bright. You mean to tell me that Squaresoft went through the final copy of this game, saw that problem, and thought to themselves, “Ahhh they won’t notice.” Well, I noticed and it is enough for me to nit pick about because it is severely obvious and kind of takes you out of the experience. Two is the sometimes stiff and repetitive animations when talking to people. They cycle through motions like crazy and I am tired of seeing my pilot bobbing her head when I haven’t even asked her anything.
    Last edited by zapphoman; 10-10-2011 at 04:57 PM.
    Efed stuff...yeah...

    Luke Jameson

  5. #5
    But those two problems are not enough to make this game unplayable. It was a great experience and I enjoyed being a part of the world. The gameplay is top notch and the story made me keep going for hours. So play it punks while I go cut off my own arms. That doctor is giving me robot arms one way or another.

    Time for The Rumor Mill

    Kevin Matthews was seen walking out a local canadian tattoo this past week, its rumored he got the words Oh, Canada!!! tattooed across his arse.


    G - Scorp is rumored to be injecting himself with actual scorpion venom as a steroid to enhance his in ring abilities, however his side effects include internal bleeding and difficulty getting an erection.


    Alpha Dog's motorcycle has run out of gas on various trips and its rumored in order to obtain the money to purchase gas he's been seen carrying a sign that says: ''To tap this ass with class please give money for gas''.


    Kiddson was seeing checking into a motel room with a slender, petite woman though rumor suggest she might a prostitute known to give crabs.

    The Indy Spin!

    First up we start with AWF. Here is what you need to know about these crazy guys!

    The Airbourne Wrestling Federation

    A federation that decided to give people a rush of adrenaline through exciting fast paced, high flying action and boy has it ever.This e-fed though suffering through a controversial phase in which the management of it was left in question, JBW’s current Warfare TV and Tag Team Champion HolyJose has stepped up to a managerial role and made the AWF a very exciting e-fed. Having a great roster has also definitely helped in the AWF’s success from Jason Alexander to The Prophecy even Daymian Bloodstone among many talents that have propelled the AWF to new heights.

    With time the AWF will only get better and show the e-fed world what it can truly do.

    Project Zero

    Welcome to Project Zero, where each month we will take an inside look at the people in the AWF Roster and give you a chance to get to know these amazing competitors on a deeper level. This month we talk to former Marine and high flying extraordinaire:

    Axxel Sonn

    Q: First tell a bit about yourself? How was your life growing up?

    AS: I grew up in a military family, my grandfather was in the Navy, my father was in the Air Force, and my brothers are both in the Army, and I joined the Marines. As a kid we moved around a lot! *Laughs* But it was cool I got to experience all these different cultures and surroundings! I remember living in Tokyo when I was about 5, that was the first time I ever experienced wrestling

    Q: So having traveled the world throughout your youth and having been a part of the Marines, what events transpired to cause you to leave the service of the Marines to become a full time wrestler and in doing so choose the Airbourne Wrestling Federation as the company to make your mark in the world of professional wrestling?

    AS: Well, I got discharged here, about a year ago. Heath reason... But anyways I had done some wrestling in the Marines and loved it. So the logical choice was to do what I love! When I was younger I would practice the stuff, even did some Backyard stuff, was a real high flyer! So when I heard about AWF, I knew that was where I was going to make my mark on the world.

    Q: What are your goals in the AWF?

    AS: Thought you were supposed to ask hard questions? My goal is the same as everyone else, to become World Champion!

    Q:That would mean one day facing off against the one who people have called The King of the Indies, the current AWF World Champion Jason Alexander; what are your thoughts about him and how he represents the AWF?

    AS: King of Indies? Who the hell came up with that load of crap? Anyways yes one day I will face him, beat him, and become AWF Champion. I don't like the guy, he is too cocky and to arrogant for my taste. That’s not how a Champion should represent himself or his promotion

    Q:How would represent the AWF if you were its top champion?

    AS: With respect, honor and integrity! I would face all challengers, and never take the belt for granted! That’s the way we do things in the Corp.!

    Q: Aside from the AWF, is there any other company you would like or would've liked to work for?

    AS: Funny you mentioned that, I am actually going to debut in my good friend, Alex Hamilton's promotion BWA. It should be interesting *laughs* Maybe I will get to kick Alexander's ass there too.

    Q:Any last comments you like to state to our readers?

    AS: Hoorah!! Be sure to catch me on Zero Gravity.

    Interview with HWA Superstar Dave Sullivan

    Dave Sullivan has gone through a rather interesting change over the last few weeks, he started out as a crazy, insane nut. After completely reforming himself, he is now a much cleaner, nicer person to be around.

    Q: Dave, most people are saying that you're new, "peaceful" attitude is because of medication.

    A: No, no. Not at all, I am not on any medication. I think I made a joke about that in the locker room before, but absolutely not. My change is 100% from the heart, and it's truly because I want the best for myself, my family, and my fans.

    Q: Before you went through your reform, you were doing some...really crazy things. You attacked Tommy Thunder' father, you beat the hell out of many security guards and other staff members. What made you do this, what led to your ultimate breakdown?

    A: The HWA Championship. I was hellbent on winning that title...I really do not know what was going through my head. In my mind, it was like somebody was telling me that I had to win the championship. Now I mean I didn't really have voices in my head, but that's what it was like. It was like something was telling me the most important thing in the world was winning the title.

    Q: You recently changed your entrance theme song, to John Lennon's "Give Peace a Chance". I find this kind of ironic due to your previous state of mind.

    A: Yes, I thought that song was perfect for representing my new philosophy towards life. Plus I mean...I love John Lennon. I don't like the Beatles though, just John Lennon. I think Lennon has brought the world some of it's best music, and I am quite proud to be entering to his voice every night.

    Q: While you may have changed, Tommy Thunder is still walking around with this attitude that he has been since he arrived in HWA. What are your thoughts on Mr. Thunder?

    A: Thomas Thunder...the man certainty has an ego, that's for sure. He's been having quite a title reign too. I mean besides Vincent Tyler, I don't think anyone has ever held that championship belt before. Plus, as big of an asshole that Thunder's been...the majority of his matches are won fairly, and I have to respect that. I'm hoping eventually that I can win the title...but at this point I have certain lines that I will not cross.

    Well thank you Mr. Sullivan. That is all the questions I have to ask you, Have a good day, and good luck with your career in HWA.
    Efed stuff...yeah...

    Luke Jameson

  6. #6

    Fan Mail with Simon Cole!

    Hello douchebags. My name is Simon Cole and I am going to be the one to read your stupid fan mail so let’s begin.

    This first one is from pauadrian and they write…

    “I have a statement to make…HWA is better!”

    Yes, HWA is better than JBW. Now I am going to go home and fuck my wife Sandra Bullock and be untalented at acting because in this dimension that you are apparently living in, I am Ryan Reynolds.

    On to the second piece of Fan Mail and this one is from Clive and he writes…

    “Hello, please may you ask K-Jammin why he is the best in the business? Thanks.

    From ermmm.. Clive”

    Now usually we wouldn’t give in to your demands you terrorist but since you are one of the first to send us fan mail, we went on ahead and sent your question to K-Jammin himself and this is how he replied…

    “This is extremely flattering Clive, however it's not rocket science. It all comes down to genetics, I am genetically better than everyone else. End of.

    Because you asked such a good question, im sending you the brand new K-Jammin T-shirt, your welcome.”

    I hope that answers your question Clive, you douchebag. Now on to the third piece fan mail. This one is from ilikeitrough and she writes…

    “I am a huge fan of The Alpha Dog and I heard a something about him becoming a Giggalo. I was wondering how I could come in to contact with him about his service and how much it would cost.”

    Are you deaf and blind? The Alpha Dog has been very open about his new side business. He has a commercial for it and, in said commercial, he gave out his cell phone number and a website for it. Also, if you have to ask how much his service is, you probably can’t afford it, although if your attractive and since he is now single, he’ll probably dominate you for free. He is quite the manwhore.

    Our next piece of fan mail comes from...theviperisgod... and he writes...

    "With Ryusuke "Shuriken" Serra now being a Jabester, how long will it be until Psycho?! Siaki returns and gives the fans the dream match of the century?"

    Well, let's see. With Psycho Siaki currently in jail for assault, it will probably be quite a while before that match can even be considered. Yes this is a Jabe fan wet dream ready to happen but we all will just have to wait.

    Our last piece of fan mail comes from Ma$$mark and he writes...

    "Does JBW have their eyes set on any indy efed talents?"

    Oh yeah. Huh Jason Alexander, The Prophecy, HolyJose, and Azeral. Those four have really been under JBWs radar.

    Now that is it for this segment of fan mail. PM your fan mail to either JBW Magazine Fan Mail or zapphoman and we will see about humiliating you on a public forum. Until then, go fuck yourselves.

    Now it is time for the moment you all have been waiting for. The Kashdinero Shoot Interview conducted by Jman! I can't wait to see some reactions!

    Jman: Kash my man, I wanna thank you for requesting that I be the guy to do this interview.

    Kash: Your the absolute best guy for the job, but here's a little shoot straight off the bat. I saw Zapph talking about the magazine on the Jabe thread, and as we were both on line I shot him a sly PM asking about this interview thing. His reply was something along the lines of..

    "Uhh, OK, but I'm not really good at the question thing."

    Instantly I knew it was the wrong choice to ask Zapph, and almost as instantly as I realised my error, I then realised another error I made, as the only real choice to do this shoot thing was you, bruv, so shame on me, right? Right. So, like, totally hit me up with those questions, my friend, you've got a magazine to publish.

    Jman: Alright bruv, let’s get to it. Before you took over JBW, Dubs was running things. What do you think of the job he did? Could you’ve done better?

    Kash: Double question straight off the bat, eh? Sort of putting me on the spot to see where what sort of tone will be held throughout this thing. OK, lets start from the begining... If it wasn't for Dubs, I would have NEVER EVER even looked into this EFedding lark, as it all just seemed so silly to me. However... when I saw that WWTNA Mark had started up an EFed I HAD to check it out, as the old Dubs was always worth a giggle. Upon my first viewing of the thread I now consider my cyber home, I read the Ape's and the Bodom's and whoever else's posts that were blatantly putting the ultimate instigators attempt at creating competition for EWNCW down, and mocking him. I however decided to go the opposite route and "throw my name into the hat". I told Dubs to "use me however you want.", and my debut (as Kashdinero Vs Tripps88) went in my favour. Then I started seeing all of these cool bio's from yourself, thedag, Sau and others, and I thought "yep, that's a bit of me, right there", and I created the Ma$$Dinero bio. It wasn't hard, as I've been Ma$$ in real life for the past thirty one years. Raps were my promos, and I used to send them to Dubs week after week, and I loved the progression of the character, but working with Dubs was a nightmare sometimes. Dude was so protective of Kayfabe it's not true, and one time, me and SilverCena (SilverMass>GodMoney bTw) typed up a WHOLE FUCKING RAP, and sent it to him, also asking him to have Trips and Scotty attack us after the rap was finished..... When I read Warfare (it wasn't WARFare back then... In the old days... Ahh, the old days.) I was actually gobsmacked to see that the bossman had only put in the first eight bars of the "track" before Tripps and Scottland (his favourite robots back then) attacked us. I PM'd him to say wTf, and he said, something like, "but you said to have them attack you".... I really wanted to say, "then why the fuck did we type the WHOLE THING OUT!?!?", but I think I said "ahh, no worries bossman, I'll just post it in the thread." Anyway, what do I think of the job he done? Man, he did a fucking marvellous job, he may have been a little tight lipped with his talent, but that's the way he ran his ship, and as I was a JBW fan, who am I to argue? I like to liken my style of doing this to the opposite way. I'm all up for letting guys come up with their own shit, and just going for it in the promos and segments they send me. If Dubs is Vince, then I'm Paul Heyman. But the bottom line has to be along the lines of.. Dubs is awesome, and the dedication he had to JBW should never be put into question. I could/would never have started an EFed from scratch like he did, but now I am familiar with the guys, I'm pretty sure I can atleast take WARFare to new heights, and at the very least freshen it up a bit. So, no, I couldn't have done a better job than him then, but you better fucking believe I wanna do a better job than he did now. Who wouldn't?

    Jman: How far in advance of RotT did he PM you to say “Hey man, I quit and I’m putting you in charge”?

    Kash: About a month before RotT, Dubs posted in Miami that he was taking a break, and I instantly knew that one of the Miami 5 would have to fill that spot, and looking around the room I kinda caught my reflection in the mirror, took a second glance and thought, that's the guy who has to cover. That's the guy who needs to at least write WARFare, and steer the ship in a positive direction. So, I PM'd Dubs, and told him I'd take over when he left. Dubs agreed it was a good idea. But what most don't know, is if I didn't think I was the best guy for the job, then I would never have asked him. It's a massive and daunting task, but I'm doing alright, I think. I just need a break in my sometimes hectic real life/JBW schedule to sit down and truly evaluate the situation. See, Dubs never left me a list or anything, and I just started from scratch. Not bitching, just telling you how it was, and to tell the truth, it had to be that way. I wouldn't have done what he'd asked anyway. Lol.

    Jman: The very first episode of WARfare after you took the reins was full of surprises. Not the least of which was SG’s longtime EWNCW main eventer Shuriken debuting and winning the championship. How much of that move was because SG is a friend, how much was because Snair’s run had been insanely long, and how much was just to send a message that “this is a new era”?
    Efed stuff...yeah...

    Luke Jameson

  7. #7
    Kash: Ahh, THE question. Shuriken Blade. Now known as Ryusuke "The Shuriken" Serra- The WARFare World Heavyweight Champion. Why? The short, quick answer is because his character deserves to be a champion in any EFed, but, I'm not about to fob you all of with a short answer. Something that controversial deserves better than that, so allow me to give everyone a backstage pass on this one. Let's start where Dubs posted in Miami saying he needed a break and was burnt out. See, it wasn't until about two weeks after Dubs posted what he did that I contacted him and asked him to give me custody of his EBaby. The moment I received the PM agreeing to my hostile takeover, my mind began racing.

    After instantly thinking that the FSA-SuperNova 'ting needed to end, as I saw way more potential in most of the members as singles than I did as a group, I then started doing what I have always done. I started looking outside of the box. I instantly spotted the toy that everyone wants to play with. I spotted the guy who's character has cast a shadow over JBW from day one. He's a guy who's character has been mentioned throughout the entire existence of the Jabe thread. Yep. I spotted SilverGhost. A guy who welcomed me into the EWN like no other, and someone I had been trying to get to jump ship for AGES. Ever the loyal friend to many in EWNCW SG always turned me down, but now I was going to try my hand at being captain of the ship, there was no way I was taking no for an answer. I sent him a PM saying that I order him to come and join his buddy Kash in JBW, because it's time we worked together in the world of EFedding. As you very well know, JMiz, it's a far more rewarding experience when doing this thing when working with friends, and I would like to have as many of my EWN buddies around me as possible. I knew SG was going to say yes, because what many of you don't know is JBW was very close to being Shurikenized a lot earlier than it was, but the deal fell through when Tommy pleasured himself with an EDildo for the whole world to read. That work/shoot/whatever caused SG to take a step back and realise that if he left when he was supposed to, it would have caused more damage and resentment. Once Tommy had returned to his standard place in EWNCW as a champion, and a member of creative, things settled down once again in camp paranoia, and it coincided perfectly with the DUBS/Miami/Kash PM thing.

    Once SG was on board, the brainstorming began. He felt that the Shuriken Blade character had become stale. I disagreed, but I had only ever read one or two Shuriken segments/matches and his sporadic posts in the Jabe thread. He felt Blade needed a rebirth of sorts, and once again coincidence reared it's beautiful/ugly head. I'm no mathematician, and having left/been expelled from school at fifteen, I've had no real reason to use maths for legal purposes, but to me, of you add a new WARFare to a new Shuriken Blade, chances are Kash is gonna come up with a little controversy. Shock and awe are not my modus operandi, but that was too good an opportunity to pass up. A maskless Shuriken under his new name is presented as a nobody. The arrogant Snair, feeling on top of the world after defeating TDA, challenges this "Kid", and is taken completely off guard. I liked it, so I went with it. Now, TheOriginalSilverOne actually said no, because he knows there's plenty of jelly ones out there that brush their teeth with haterade, and the backlash might be too strong. I told him fuck the backlash, we're doing it. I told DUBS of my plans and he loved the idea; he told me it would be a huge surprise, and, yeah, he was right.

    Now, I haven't once mentioned the others on WARFare at the time of my coming in as the writer, but your all confused if you think I don't think that any of you were worthy of defeating Snair, as it could have easily been any one of you to have been in Serra's place. But each persons EFed path is different, and not only have you all had your chance to shine, you are currently getting it. See, all that really happened is I changed the man to beat. JMan is still number one contender, Zeus is recovering from a defeat to the Alpha Dog, and is currently in a feud with The Prophecy that is hands down the best feud going at the moment, and they're just getting started. Manabu knows where things are headed, and the real Manabu has his characters Sasha and Akayo currently feuding in a slow burner. The Alpha Dog is a major part of the show, and with what his future holds, well, let's just say that it's gonna be good times. The guys I have just mentioned were the only real viable options to end Snairs reign, but they have in no way suffered by the title switch, and they were all cool with it. The only person who could have been legitimately upset about it was Snair, but when I told Snair of the title switch, he was absolutely cool with it, and is enjoying his face turn. I never told him who was going to replace him, and for keeping the Shuriken thing a secret, I actually feel bad, but, it was hopefully a pleasant surprise to most of the JBW fam, and I apologise to Rich and the gang for being kinda sneaky/greedy/sly in the private recruitment of their shining star, but it was bound to happen sooner or later.
    The worst part about it, is Sau pulled Siaki out of the race at the same time as his dream opponent entered it. There's a word for that, but my unedumucated stoners mind can't quite recall it.
    So, I guess some sort of bottom line is necessary here....

    I made my buddy SG's character champion because it is the epitome of an EFed champ, and also to create the hammer that put the final nail in the coffin of The FSA, and because it was a new day for all involved, and I wanted Ryusuke "The Shuriken" Blade, to signify the end of a milestone, and usher in a new era onto WARFare. There.

    Jman: Since you’ve been in charge for a while now and you have a good hold on things, here’s what we’re gonna do….I’ll throw a Jabe related topic out there and you say whatever the fook you want about it.; Cool?

    Kash: Yeah, go for it, bruv.

    Jman: Alright here goes… the job SG and I are doing with this world title feud.

    Kash: Almost perfect. I'll get to the almost part after I tell you the positives. Firstly, I don't think I've ever read better work from you personally, J, and I am a bigger fan of Ryusuke "The Shuriken" Serra, than I was of Shuriken Blade. He has an ability to actually sound like a serious threat. His short, serious, sensible, sharp, to the point promos, are a great contrast to your everyday man, turned reluctant hero with a point to prove style of promos. The promo in Philly was awesome, like, deffo some of your all time best work, and you know it. The feud itself is something I'm a mark for, and as explained earlier, it kinda just fell into place. The fact that, as far as I know, you and SG are buddies makes things all the more worthwhile. I can clearly tell that you are the most motivated I've ever seen, and the magazine gig suits you to a tee.
    The almost part is I'm not a fan of the way Ryusuke holds the belt, it kinda saddens me to see it, but, I guess he still has a lot to prove to the JBW, and SG knows it. He's a smart dude. Also, once he's through kicking the shit out of you, he'll have earned a little more respect. I will say, though, I like how you haven't gone the whole Shuri' doesn't deserve the belt angle, and have shown him the respect I personally think he deserves, which I hope makes SG feel more welcome in JBW... Thank you for that... Also, if the feud bombs, you and I have the perfect person to blame. Hahaha! Next question.

    Jman: K-Jamm’s title run.

    Kash: Yeah, it was pretty much written in stone from day one of the K-Jam-Ma$$ feud. The feud started before most people realise, and I knew our characters would clash from day one of his arrival in JBW from the way he treated Dave. At the time, Dave and Ma$$ were becoming fast friends, and it was all but inevitable that Ma$$ would have to seek revenge. Then during Ma$$' feud with Wes Goldman, who had just become a robot, and had gone all anti rap, there was a match at a PPV, and Ma$$ lost a three on one handicap match to Wes, RedDevilSativa and, yep, K-Jammin. The smug little git even pinned Ma$$, and did a good job of bragging about it. This was during the very early stages of V3, so nothing happened for a while, but when the feud started, I instantly knew that this would take both of our characters to the next level. By this time I was working a lot with Straights on V3 stuff, and was always pestering him with ideas, and, basically saw him as a friend rather than anything else. Because of this, Straights let me do what I want, and K-Jam and myself were left to our own devices. It was around this time I got to see just how good K-Jam was, and knew that it was going to be him that took the belt from Siaki, who was feuding with Chainsaw at the time. My mission was to always put K-Jam over at the end of the feud, to set him up to face Siaki. Obviously, as Sau sadly had to call it a day on Siaki, the title switch had to happen sooner than intended. Siaki was going to retire as the champion, the night after RotT, but, yeah, I used my powers of persuasion and managed to get him to drop it after he had just defeated Roman. It was perfect even if I do say so myself. Where it goes from here, who knows, but, for me, K-Jam vs Ma$$ stole the show two PPV's in a row, especially with our entrances (Venom and Joker fTw.), and I don't see why he won't steal the show at the next PPV, and the one after that, and every other one after that until he decides he no longer wants to do it... *puts on an old mans voice* That kids got it, I'll tell ya'.
    Efed stuff...yeah...

    Luke Jameson


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