Pyro goes off, Saliva's Survival of the Sickest blares over the PA system, and the lights come up to begin Killzone.
Pat: Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the second episode of JBW Killzone! I'm Patrick Riley and....
Dudley: I'm Dudley Eriksson!
Pat: As if there were ever a doubt. Ready for some Jabe action, Duds?
Dudley: Always, Pat. Question is, is TDA ready for whoever keeps sending us these cryptic videos?
Pat: Fair question. Another video interrupted a Devs championship celebration last week. Whoever this guy is, he's aiming high.
Dudley: And the main event last week is a perfect example of why. TDA was on the ropes against VHX last week. I'll contend Van should be champion right now.
Pat: TDA won clean, Duds.
Dudley: No argument here. But, with Jose getting a much deserved title match at Resurrection, the champ shouldn't get too comfortable.
*TDA theme hits*
Pat: Speak of the devil!
Dudley: Oh, boy...
TD wals down the ramp to a thunderous pop. The champ looks to be all business tonight as he steps over the top rope and into the ring and hastily grabs a mic.
TDA: Normally I would tell all of you a little story, but tonight I plan on getting straight to business. Resurrection is just around the corner and I am going to be put inside of the ring with two men. Do I like them? Hell no! I am going to do everything in my power to hold on to this Championship that I fought so long for. I do not expect either of those two men to hold back either which is rather beneficial for all individuals involved. The only ending I am interested in seeing is the one where I, the champion of the world, comes out of this standing taller than the tallest tree in the forest.
Now on to these cryptic videos that keep ruining every single one of my celebrations at the end of the shows I have been on.. I have no idea what this Morgan Freeman nut-hugger has planned nor do I care. When this person finally shows his mug I will gladly introduce my fist to his face. TDA is not somebody you will want to mess with during your first or second or third or fourth or fifth or sixth or seventh or eighth or ninth OR tenth run here! I am not a stepping stone. I am that giant force that will knock you off of your feet like a strong tornado in a wide open field.
~Crowd begins to chant TDA's name~
I back down for NO man! Keep that in mind if you wish to ever throw your hat into the ring and give it the old 'One-Two-Three' competition. I have main evented more JBW shows than I would like to admit and I did not get that way by being weak or inferior. No, no, no, nooooo! I got that way by busting my ass and I sure as hell do not plan on stopping ANY time soon. Mark my words... My reign as your champion has only just begun. Hop on a dark horse and gallop behind me into the night. You will enjoy the sights you see..
Pat: That's a lazer focused champion right there! He's going to be on top of this company for as long as he wan-
*After about 10 seconds or so of the video plays, Morgan Freeman's voice can be heard saying:*
"In the bible, the word of God, the Lord himself challenged Abraham to sacrifice his own son, to show that he was a true believer.
In the same fashion, a sacrifice must be made to show that these plains are truly embracing change. To show that these parts are to be saved from a life of eternal darkness and misery.
A sacrifice must be made. One man will be sacrificed."
*The screen goes black after a few seconds, the following fades in:*
Pat: Again? This guy is unbelievable! We'll be right back!
As we come back, we're greeted with the JabeTron popping to life.
*We start to see a rural Mexican like place.*
*Tumble weed starts to flow through.*
???: I am coming.
*Some shots at the Narcos in some cars.*
???: Unlike this Mexican gangster wannabes I don't need weapons to kill my opponents. I do it with my own two bare hand. Those are my lethal weapons.
*Just then a shot of Brock Edwards standing if front of the Narco's car is shown.*
Brock: I am coming to takeover.
Quickly, the JabeTron cuts to another scene:*A man is seen standing in the street, rain is falling as the man just stares at the ground. As the camera gets closer, the man raises his head to face it and smiles. The man is drenched and is hair is covering his face, but the smile is still visible*
????: Hello JBW, allow me to introduce myself, I am the Anarchist, Hearst Darrison. I come to JBW with the intentions of shaking this place to it's very core. JBW is in for a change, a new revolution if you will. Chaos and Pain come to those who stand in the way of Anarchy.
*Hearst begins waking down the road*
Hearst: I plan to bring a lethal style to wrestling, one that has not been seen in years. A style of pure brutality and anguish, and this isn't just a gimmick, this is fact. To anyone that stands in my way, I will be glad to ram your teeth down your throat.
So, whether you be a a Champion like TheDevilsAdvocate, or a nobody like Jason Alexander, if you stand in my way prepare for a fight unlike anything you have seen. This is only the beginning, a revolution of rebellion has begun, and I promise that everything will change, and nobody in JBW is safe.
*Hearst stops and smirks as the camera pans out revealing the JBW Building in Philadelphia*
Hearst: So, let the fun begin..
Finally, we come back live and hear Pat's voice again.
Pat: There you go, Duuds! Two new members of this rebuilt JBW roster.
Dudley: I'm familiar with Brock Edwards' work in IWA. The man is an absolute beast! What about Hearst Darrison, though?
Pat: I dunno. With that attitude, though, he'll fit right in. How about another vignette from our mystery man as we went to break?
Dudley: Until he's man enough to show his face, I don't know what else there is to say.
Pat: Fair enough. Well, I'm sure you'll have plenty to say about this next match. It's the debut of-
Pat: Well, here she is! Itâ€™s Athena!
Dudley: My godâ€¦.
Darren Black: Introducing first, from Long Island, New York, The Amazon; Athena!
The 205 pound, muscle ridden woman makes her way to the ring to a shocked reaction. Nobody, Pat and Dudley included, seems to know what to make of such a physically imposing woman. As Athena enters the ring, she grabs a mic from the stagehand and cuts into the relative silence by starting to speak.
Athena: For those of you who don't know my work my name's Athena... the Amazon and I'm here for one reason and one reason only and that's to prove I'm the best there is. I'm not talking about the best of the Divas or Bombshells or whatever it is you call the rest of the bitches in this fed *chuckles*...
The fans boo loudly.
Athena: I'm talking about the best of the best! You see I'm not like any of the women in the back or any of the women in the crowd; I'm one of a kind. I'm 6 feet tall, I weigh 205 pounds and I can bench press 300 pounds without breaking a sweat. For all you idiots who don't realize what that means let me break it down for you. It means I can lift half of the men in the back over my head the same way you people *points at the fans* lift your giant turkey legs when you go to the circus.
The fans continue booing loudly.
Athena: I'm the strongest woman in the world. That's not just something I say to boost my own ego, oh no, I'm a 3 time World's Strongest Woman winner. I've been called a freak, a she-male, a man so whatever you want to say about me save it cause I've heard it all before and none of it phases me.
A mixed reaction begins once more.
Athena: But I'm not a man or a she-male, a freak maybe, but what is a freak if not someone that's different from the rest? So maybe to you people I'm a freak, but I see things a little differently than you people and what you call a freak I call perfection; I am the perfect woman and the rest of the women here are the freaks. They're nothing but puppets who've bent over backwards trying to please you people and to be what you people want to see. Well I don't care what you people want to see and I'm not going to change for you. The Women's Championship is beneath me *laughs*...
The fans boo loudly.
Athena: I'm better than that lousy title. Allow other lesser women to compete for it and hold it. I'm looking for the bigger fish in the pond so if there is anyone in the back who thinks he's man enough to step into the ring with me then get your ass in here so I can kick it around.
Athena laughs again and the crowd is once again divided between cheers and boos.
Pat: Whoever accepts this womanâ€™s challenge has a death wish.
http:// <a href="http://www.yo...UTf5qvS0Lo</a>
Darren Black: And her opponent, from Margaritaville, DrunkJose!
A lumbering, drunk, 300 pound Mexican who bears a stark resemblance to HolyJose comes stumbling down the ramp with a bottle of Jose Cuervo in hand. The crowd, out of nothing more than sarcasm, pops for the guy.
Dudley: A death wish, or an alcohol problem?
Pat: Arenâ€™t they the same thing?
Dudley: Fair point.
Athena, meanwhile, is looking on in disgust as DrunkJose slides into the ring. After getting the liquor bottle away from Jose, the referee calls for the bell. Immediately, Athena charges DrunkJose and hits him with a wicked short arm clothesline that sends DrunkJose down hard. Athena pulls him up quickly, though, and, in an amazing feat of strength , lifts DrunkJose over her head, holds him there for a moment, and gorilla pressesâ€™ him down.
Pat: My god! What incredible power!
Dudley: She scares me.
Pat: Sheâ€™s intimidating, for sure.
The crowd has broken Into a â€œHoly shit!â€ chant as Athena drags DrunkJose back to his feet one more time. This time, she easily loads him onto her right shoulder, runs across the ring with powerful strides, and slams him down with authority.
Pat: Athena calls that the Amazon Slam and, as she hooks the leg, this one isâ€¦â€¦.
Pat:â€¦â€¦â€¦over! That was an amazing performance!
Dudley: That was amazing and disturbing all at once, Pat. Can we move on?
Pat: Sure thing. Let's hear from Black Blooded.
*The Screen lights up, showing Stacey Mitchell backstage with a microphone*
Stacey Mitchell: I have with me now some of the newest guys on the roster, and the current JBW Tag Team Champions, Black Blooded!
*The Crowd boos as the camera angle widens, showing Mr. Blood and Mr. Black with Vivica.*
Stacey: So please tell me, what was it like not only winning your debut match here in JBW, but in the process becoming the tag team championships?
Mr. Blood: Answer me this first, sweet thing, you ever come so hard that you can't walk for days later? You ever have such an intense pleasure that it just straight out fucking destroys everything else in your mind?
*Stacey shakes her head no, a little uncertainly*
Mr. Blood: well then darlin, come on and see me after the show, and I'll give you a ride you won't forget.
All that aside, winning that match, and winning these, our tag team titles, would have come as a surprise to a lesser team, would have been a shock if we were any of the six other talentless pieces of shit that were in that ring with us, however we are the Dominant Fucking Predators of this industry, and against those fucking clowns we knew going in that the only possible outcome was our victory.
Stacey: but some of the teams there were former champions themselves, I mean, The Panzer Divis-
Mr. Blood: The fuck you say? They may have held gold when we werent around, but look at the fucking facts here cupcake, the facts say that any company we join, we rise to the top of. You want to bring in those drunken, filthy, sausage-stuffing krauts up? Let me tell you something about the pansy division there sweet cakes, Them ain't nothing but a couple of drunk, inbred, eurotrash. Everybody fucking knows that Germany is essentially the Arkansas of Europe, so all they are is fucking redneck morons from across the ocean. They want to really come face us for these belts? Any fucking time.
Mr. Black: They don't stand a chance.
Mr. Blood: See those dirty sons of bitches want to act like they are hot shit, want to talk like they have some sort of skill, or even like there is a man between them
Mr. Black: except Sasha, that's a man I wouldn't fuck with.
Mr. Blood: well yeah, but he's letting his little sisters do all the fighting, so it won't be a problem. When we do get our hands on those boys? Well then every one of these ignorant, sister-fucking lice-infested dirtbags will know just what level of Brutality we have learned, just what kind of punishment we can dish out. See, once we get our hands on them, we get to show them what over two decades of living life on the road, fighting for every single fucking scrap does to a man.
Stacey: You mentioned two decades, Rumors abound that you and Mr. Black actually met as children, can you tell us how you two met?
Mr. Blood: You want storytime there lil thing you'll just have to stop by later, but in this case the pimple-faced virgins masturbating to old "Buffy the vampire slayer" posters have it right, Black and I, we go way back, we've had each other's backs since we was kids, that's part of what makes us the force we are. See, we're closer than family, cause your family is just people you hate. We realized long, long ago that we always won out when we stuck together, and the hell with everyone else. That is the attitude that has allowed us to win gold all over this sorry sack of shit planet, that is the attitude that has made us richer than we ever thought possible back in the shithole rat-infested underbelly of Las Vegas, that is the attitude that will either save this company, or finally put the fucking bullet in it's skull.
Mr. Black: It's time to sink or swim
Mr. Blood: And the Pansy division? those fat sacks of shit are going all the way down, to the very fucking bottom. See boys, when we walked out at Blood Harvest Two, that was a test to see if any of you had the skill, the strength, the intellect, or even the sheer fucking balls to prove a decent challenge, and after that all I can say is, this is the easiest paycheck we have earned in years. There is not a real team among you, and the fact that the Facist Foursome here is the best you got to throw at us? That's just fucking pathetic. It's way past time to step up boys, or you will be crushed under our boots.
Vivica: That's Right! Big Daddy and Unca Blood know just how to make everything right!
*With that, Black Blooded walk past Stacey and out of site, Mr. Blood slapping her ass on the way, making her jump and scaring her, but as the camera fades she smiles as we fade to break.*
Darren Black: The following contest is a tag team match set for one fall, introducing first the team of Vaquero and Mr. Santiago.....La Mafia Mejicana.
La Mafia Mejicana appear on stage to the boos and disapproval of the crowd. They make their way to the ring with indifference and enter the ring, getting ready to hurt the Panzer Division.
Patrick Riley: We're back with La Mafia Mexjicana
Dudley Erickson: They look set on proving their loss at Blood Harvest is not one to keep them don and if they can defeat the #1 contender's to the gold, that'll say a lot about them.
Patrick Riley: That it will but The Panzers aren't just any team so if they wanna do that, they'll have to really put all on the line.
Darren Black: and their opponent from Berlin, Germany, they are the team of Oli and Karl Panzer....The Panzer Division!!!!!
The crowd pops for The beer drinking, ass kicking team that is the Panzers as they head to the ring, beer mugs in hand and toast in the ring drinking the beer swiftly before shouting: Wir lieben Bier (we love beer) to the roar of the crowd.
Patrick Riley: The crowd is firmly behind The Panzers, the team that looks to dethrone Black Blooded at Resurrection.
Dudley Erickson: Like that'll happen hahaha they must really love beer to be drunk enough to think they can be the best tag team in JBW. LEt's just just see ho they do here tonight.
Mafia Mejicana (LAX) vs Panzer Division (Team 3d) (Ignore titles)
Start 4:10 - Stop 10:34
Dudley Erickson: Panzers down. Vaquero needs to look for the tag.
Mr. Santiago is begging for the tag as Vaquero crawls to his partner as the Panzers begin to reach their feet and gets it soon charging towards the Panzers with a double clothesline and gets boo'd with intensity.
Patrick Riley: What a great display of power from Mr. Santiago.
Santiago picks up Oli Panzer and lines him for a powerbomb but Oli fights out of it.....and goes for a roll up.....
Santiago barely kicks out but now Karl is up and Oli reaches his feet awaiting for Santiago to stand up as the crowd cheers on and soon Oli now kick Santiago in the gut and sets him up for a powerbomb himself before Karl, grabs Santiago's head lining him up to connect....
Patrick Riley: The L.G.W.
Dudley Erickson: The Let's Get Wasted is a devastating Powerbomb/Neckbreaker combination.
Oli covers.....Karl presses down on Oli making Santiago has no where to go.....Vaquero still down.....
Darren Black: Here are your winners The Panzer Division.
The ref has raised Oli's and Karl's arms in victory- but Karl pushes the ref away and then ask for a mic.
Karl: Black Blooded- you see what we just did to La Mafia Mexicana? Its a little preview of whats coming your way. You see, management is scared to put you in the ring with us- they want to make us wait until Resurrection. They want to protect you, they want to protect their investment- an investment that is wrong for so many reasons. As we said last week, you guys are the death of tag team wrestling. You have singlehandingly killed two wrestling companies- HWA and ICW. Yet new management brought you here anyways and put you in a title match without you having proved anything. Hmm, now that I think of it, this is just like HWA. You have a wrestler who can't hack it in the ring anymore so he is made GM. Jman, Broc Flucker, Dave Sullivan- all the same, same shitty booking, same shitty decisions. Now don't get me wrong, we will take on any team put in front of us- yet when it comes to getting a title shot you have to earn that right. The other teams in that match- they belonged there. But Black Blooded didn't earn shit
Karl drops the mic to the mat but Oli picks it up.
Oli: Oh, Mr Black and Mr Blood, if you were wondering why your bikes may have been running rough- we pissed in the tanks. You're welcome
Oli tosses the mic out the ring and both brothers exit the ring and have their beers handed to them by a stagehand.
Pat: Strong words and an even stronger showing from The Panzers there. The tag title match at Resurrection is shaping up to be something special. Right now, though, we're headed backstage to hear from Vulgar.
Dudley: ...at least Ma$$ was a slightly entertaining hoodlum. This guy? Not so much.
Pat: Oh, boy......
The camera cut backstage to show Vulgar in the parking lot. The crowd cheers, before Vulgar smashes a steel chain against the hood of a car, before he sits on it.
Vulgar: A headbutt. A headbutt. It took a headbutt to beat me
But congrats KJ, you got out of the High C
But I was the star of the show, pinning Dixon and Smyth
And I did better than Shaz, who only came fifth
But I need to speak to Mr. Smyth, and how you act so girly
Our round was over quick, but I guess you always finish early
You act like a businessman, but you're nothing but dust
The fans don't care if they see you, but with me it's a must
You think you're better than the rest of the cattle
Yet you get other people to fight your own battle
As we've seen elsewhere, you can find loopholes
But despite that Smyth, in a female, you can't get holes
I can bust a rhyme any time
Quicker than I can commit a crime
I can make you bleed from a graze
But you already do bleed every 28 days
And I gotta say sir
You'll never get near a her
Unless it's on a sex assault charge
But a secret has Marge
You realize something, something key
As you have smaller junk than he
You always play with boys, that play is your card
Because it's only men who make your dick hard-
???: And you wonder why your rap career is a less fruitful venture than the XFL.
The camera pans to the left, and there is Mr. Smyth standing next to a young, attractive woman who is also in a suit. The crowd immediately start to boo.
Mr. Smyth: Accusations of homosexuality, claiming that I have a small manhood...it's all very juvenile, wouldn't you agree, Lindsay?
The woman in the suit smiles and nods her head.
Mr. Smyth: See, this is what I was talking about last week, Vulgar. You're a degenerate. Your lyrical skills leave a lot to be desired and letâ€™s face it, your wrestling skills aren't much cop either. I know what you're going to say: you beat me last week, blah, blah, blah, etcetera. But let's not forget that I have beaten you in the past and there is certainly no reason why a highly intellectual, world renowned successful business man such as myself couldn't beat you again. In fact...
Mr. Smyth turns to Lindsay.
Mr. Smyth: Lindsay, could you look at my schedule for me? I'd like to see if there is a window of opportunity for me to show this...
Mr. Smyth points to Vulgar, as the crowd starts to boo again.
Mr. Smyth...that his win was indeed a fluke.
Mr. Smyth turns back to Vulgar whilst Lindsay starts flicking through her PDA.
Mr. Smyth: However, saying that, my offer from last week is still open. If you want help becoming a better man, someone who would not only be acceptable to society but someone who is of value to society, then you need not look any further for guidance than right here. You should think about it, Vulgar, as this isn't really working for you, is it?
Vulgar: Woah, woah, hold up dawg
You wannabe careful, else I'll make you croak like a frog
You say shit like that, but it's a load of crap
The only thing you can beat, is your dick when you fap
Why are you here with Lindsay? What happened to Toby?
You can't beat me, but how 'bout you go ahead and blow me
You think you're normal, but you have that sass
But you're a fake Smyth! Less real than Jacob Cass
The hood is da place to be, but you're stuck with a briefcase
You think you're the hot shot, but you're just two faced
There's you when you're in business, and you'll never go near a beer
And there's you when you're shirtless, fucking Dixon up the rear
Well dude, you have a small nob, that's no lie
And if you're intelligent, then demonstrate how to die!
Mr. Smyth seems amused by Vulgarâ€™s rap.
Mr. Smyth: Bless your cotton socks. You are, by far, much more entertaining than I gave you credit for. Donâ€™t get me wrong, those nursery rhymes are full of inaccurate tripe, but the way you just string those together into a semi-coherent rhyme is just admirable.
So hereâ€™s my business proposal: we can work together and you can accept my offer to help you become a better person, or I can drag you into the ring and beat you from post-to-post.
Vulgar goes to speak, but Smyth cuts him off.
Mr. Smyth: Donâ€™t answer yet. Lord knows that thinking quickly isnâ€™t one of your strong points. Letâ€™s just give that hoodie mentality a moment to digest what I have said then you can give my PA a call with your decision.
Lindsay hands Vulgar a business card. Vulgar looks at the card, but doesnâ€™t accept it. Lindsay shrugs and places it on the hood of the car where Vulgar sat.
Mr. Smyth: Letâ€™s hope you make the right choice, â€œgangsta!â€
Mr. Smyth and Lindsay walk away as Vulgar smiles and shakes his head. The final shot is of Vulgar flipping the bird in the direction of Smyth, and the crowd cheer in response.
Pat: Haha! Good answer, Vulgar!
Dudley: Why wouldn't he take that offer? It could've been his big break!
Pat: Oh, please. He's doing just fine on his own.
Dudley: Whatever. Let's go to break.
Pat: We'll have another match in a moment , but first we're heading backstage again to hear from the Television Champion, Mike Hawk.
Dudley: It's a promo orgy tonight!
Pat: Haha! Yeah, J went a little crazy with the assignments...
Stacey Mitchell approaches Mike Hawk in the back showing off his title.
Mitchell: Hawk, first off congratulations on your first title win here in JBW and welcome to the show.
Hawk: Thanks Stacey and I must say you look great today and you should always look like that on JBTV because I refuse to share my screen time with anyone who looks bad or would make me look bad. Last week, I wanted to get in and out of that ring as quick as possible because the longer you associate yourself with Cage, the faster your image drops, and here on JBTV, image is everything. Now as far as coming here, unlike most of these newer guys, I came here from EWA, a fed JBW sponsored, not some big feds that shut down and left these other guys in the job line.
Mitchell: What are your goals here in JBW?
Hawk: I am here to put this title back where it belongs, at the forefront in everyone's minds. I am going to take this title to new heights, do things with it that have never been done and most importantly really make this title THE TV title. Because from here on out, everyone around the world will tune in to JBTV to see me and this title in its entire glory.
Mitchell: So last week you found out you were going to defend the title against KJ Punk at Resurrection, Hawk do....
Hawk: Yes Stacey, the camera does add 10 pounds to Punk. But jokes aside, in order to prove that I am the best TV champion in history, I will take on any of my guest stars that look to steal my show and it's ratings. Punk is going to be the first of many to find out why it's so hard to find work in the television industry because when we face...
Punk: Because after I beat you, Iâ€™ll get called straight up to the big screen?
Punk walks up Stacey and Hawk and puts his arm around Stacey as she smiles
Punk: You see Stacey, itâ€™s men with the arrogance and overall piss poor attitude like Hawky here that give men of todayâ€™s age a bad name. However, some of us still have class and now how to act in public and I am one of those men. I donâ€™t go around making idle threats on how I am Mr. unstoppable tough guy. I donâ€™t have to say those things. I just prove it in the ring.
You see, I came to JBW after I was left without a home. I had nowhere to turn and I saw a company that could use a savior. A company that was on the verge of being shut down. So I decided to come to JBW to give them something they needed. They needed a shot of adrenaline to the arm. And here I am. Two matches into the company and am already number one contender for the TV title. And I will gladly take that title off your undeserving shoulders come Resurrection.
Hawk starts to laugh and holds up his title.
Hawk: Two matches into the company and I am the TV champion Punk. I am the star because I get things done, not fail halfway into it. And don't give that bullcrap speech about how you are needed to save this company, because they saved you from a life on foodstamps and unemployment lines.
Punk, this is my show, my time and these are my viewers. You think I'm arrogant? If anything I am being modest because I am telling nothing but the truth, because I am the television champion and I am the whole damn show. I have proven myself in the ring time and time again, and at Resurrection, your hoping for the sports story where the underdog no one thought would win but does upsets the unbeatable champion but what your going to get is Rocky, where the champion comes out on top.
Punk: Oh, thatâ€™s cute. Youâ€™re using movie references to explain how you think youâ€™re going to beat me. Well, I see it being more like Rocky 2. Everybody realizes that the champ canâ€™t hack it and the underdog isnâ€™t really an underdog. Everyone keeps second guessing on why the champ is the champ, that self-doubt begins to creep into your brain until it finally consumes you. Then when we meet inside the ring, I prove all of the skeptics right and take that title off of you. â€œYo Adrian! I did it!!!â€
Hawk: I can use all the references in the world to describe how I am going to walk out with the title after I beat you. But at the end of Resurrection, I am going to be on that turnbuckle holding my title high in the air for everyone in the world to see who the true champion is except. Because you will be behind me unconscious after all is said and done. Punk I am the future of this business and I am glad you got the shot because in the end there can be only one man to lead this company into the future and I am going to prove why you are not that man. Winner, Winner, I am having Punk for Dinner.
Punk: You should have a degree in being wrong all the time. I am at the forefront of the resurrection of JBW. Iâ€™m front and center. Iâ€™m ushering in the new era of dominance. Iâ€™m going to do that by beating the undeserving. You donâ€™t deserve that title, that power and Iâ€™m going to strip it from you leaving you a broken man who the only thing left to his name is a bad pun. At Resurrection, itâ€™ll be me standing over your body after I knock you out with the Rolling Elbow and hold the TV championship high into the air as I yell WINNER WINNER!!!!!!
Punk gets close to Hawkâ€™s face
We fade back to live acton with the crowd echoing Punk and popping for him.
Pat: KJ Punk; JBW Television Champion. That has a nice ring to it.
Dudley: Shame it won't happen.
Pat: Well, let's put that therory to the test. Right now, Hawk has a match against an absolutely vicious opponent in Jason Alexander. Later, Punk has to deal with Jason's Resurrection opponent Eddie Juarez.
Darren Black: The following contest is a non-title bout set for one fall, on his way to the ring, from Tokyo, Japan...the JBW Television Champion...Mike Hawk!
Patrick Riley: This guy put in the fight of his life last week and came out with the Television Championship.
Dudley Erickson: What a match that was but Hawk came out victorious.
Patrick Riley: You gotta feel for Malcolm Cage though.
Dudley Erickson: Yeah, I feel real bad. WOOOO! COME ON HAWK!
Darren Black: And his opponent! Weighing in at 194 pounds, from Caguas, Puerto Rico...the Destroyer of Dreams...Jason Alexander!
Patrick Riley: The question still remains on everybodyâ€™s lips...is Jason ready for a match?
Dudley Erickson: He took a hell of a fall at Blood Harvest but this guy has a hell of a record of not getting hurt. He may not be 100% just yet but heâ€™s fit enough to have to be taken seriously.
Patrick Riley: Well with Eddie Juarez awaiting him at Resurrection, Jason needs to get back in the ring and get back to full fitness...and what better test than the Television Champion?
Dudley Erickson: I have to agree. Alexander could put himself in a great position with a win here.
Match ?: Mike Hawk (Cody Rhodes) vs. Jason Alexander (Christian)
(2:45 to 9:37)
Patrick Riley: And Alexander kicks out!
Dudley Erickson: What a move from Hawk! These two putting on a hell of a show here!
Hawk backs up to the ropes, still seated as he canâ€™t believe Alexander kicked out. The fans are actually cheering both men as Alexander begins to grasp at the air, looking for the ropes. Hawk isnâ€™t having any of it though as he quickly reaches his feet and stomps down hard on Alexanderâ€™s chest. He backs up to the centre of the ring before hitting a running elbow drop right to Alexanderâ€™s heart. Hawk drags Alexander back to the centre of the ring and covers.
Alexander throws the shoulder up and sits up but Hawk immediately locks in a sleeper hold. Alexander begins to fade and grabs at the air to try as escape as he stands up, Hawk still refusing to let go of the hold. Alexander drives his elbow into Hawkâ€™s midsection before backing him up to the ropes. He whips Hawk across the ring and on the rebound, goes for a superkick, but Hawk ducks underneath and hits a rolling elbow on the return!
Patrick Riley: Thatâ€™s KJ Punkâ€™s finishing move!
Dudley Erickson: Hawk sending a message to his number one contender!
Hawk goes to drop down for the cover but Alexander has wisely rolled to the apron. Hawk runs across the ring and bounces off the ropes, going for a baseball slide but Alexander moves and as Hawk slides through to a standing position, Alexander connects with a massive right uppercut- sending Hawk back into the ring.
Alexander rolls into the ring and backs up to the corner as Hawk begins to get up. Hawk turns around and Alexander runs at him, connecting with the Darkest Nightmare! He drops down and goes for a cover.
Hawk somehow kicks out! Alexander canâ€™t believe it as he stands up and begins to argue with the referee it was a three count. Alexander pushes the ref in frustration, sending the ref into the corner and causing him to turn around holding his arm for a second, but a second is all Hawk needs. Heâ€™d been using the distraction of the referee to bide his time and as soon as he sees his chance, he connects with a huge low blow from behind! The referee turns around just to see Hawk roll Alexander up!
Dudley Erickson: Hawk wins! Hawk wins!
Patrick Riley: Only after his low blow! Pathetic move from our Television Champion.
Another man who thinks itâ€™s a pathetic move is Jason Alexander, as Mike Hawk is handed his Television Championship and Alexander begins to get up in the corner. He runs at Hawk and hits a massive Darkest Nightmare, laying Hawk completely out. Alexander looks down on Hawk as the fans boo loudly.
Alexander turns to leave the ring and on the stage stands Eddie Juarez, clapping, with a smirk on his face. Alexander stares him down as Juarez turns and leaves the stage.
Patrick Riley: Well folks, I think Eddie Juarez needed a closer look at Alexander, and donâ€™t forget, heâ€™ll be in action later on as he faces KJ Punk.
Dudley Erickson: Alexander just laid Hawk completely out! That has gotta have scared the hell out of Eddie Juarez.
Patrick Riley: I don't know if Juarez is scared by anything. In fact, he's in action a little later and we'll see just how intimidated he is.
Pat: We're back and, uhhhh, not entirely sure where we're headed next.
Dudley: Way to lead, Riley.
Suddenly, without bothering to wait for his theme, Ano Doom walks out, shaking with Intensity all the way down the ramp. He takes hold of the microphone as he looks the istagehand in the eyes, never blinking as the "Zone" stare is set on his face.
He jumps right on the ring apron and quickly, almost as if he cant wait,steps right under the top rope and gets into the ring, microphone in hand.
Ano Doom: The Demon Cyborg....Is HERE in JBW....And I am THE next biggest thing here....Before I hit a certain former executive with and elbow and got fired....But never again will that happen....I am here and here to stay...with one goal in mind:Take the heads off of any and every one. EVERYONE. No one is safe now that the next true greatest Destroyer walks these parts...Where I'm at right now,This is MY battlefield...Each time I'm in a ring it becomes mine because I know fully that no one can do anything to deter my course of action. What I did to Shaz...Is only an example of whats to come...I took him down first and there's more to follow...This is a guy that was THIS close to getting a TV title match on PPV at Ressurection...And I laid him out out of nowhere....Five seconds and that guy was done. Is he supposed to be somebody around here? Apparently so,but not to me. The crushing of Shaz was only the VERY FIRST in a long long line of causalities to come in the present and near future...As in EVERY DAY after this one...Every time I'm here someone's getting leveled...Smashed...Just absolutely obliterated in seconds. Everyone here better take notice before it's too late and they just suffer a fate that simply could have been avoided by getting the fuck out of here. I don't care who you are,How long you've been here,Where you're from or what belt you hold. IT DOESN'T MATTER. No one is in my league nor will they be because there is simply none tougher,none stronger,None more vicious than I. I'm going to drop the strongest,toughest,and most dominant guys around because I AM THE ONE who will stand atop the mountain here. The constant abominating of everyone I see does not,And will not,stop until I'm World Champion here. TDA I'm looking right at you-
Shaz's music hits, as Shaz brings out his own personalised mic, wearing a slick red
Pissed mode t-shirt along with some white Nike Air Force 1's, before sliding into the ring and going face to face with Ano Doom*
Shaz: Sorry to stop you there Doom, but that got boring AGES ago. I could've had an extra hours worth of sleep instead of listening to that garbage. Now in all honesty, before, I honestly didn't give a damn about you, but you made a pretty big statement last week by attacking me. And trust me my friend, you cost me a match that was worth a title shot for the TV championship.
And now, you have officially turned Shaz into...PISSED MODE!
*Mixed reactions from the crowd, but more boos are heard*
Shaz: Now, every single day, backstage, you always go on...
About how you are this, and how you are that. But the truth is my friend, you should've went to someone who actually gives a toss. Doom, you're nothing but a devious, ugly coward who has tried to make an impact by attacking the best in the world, well. Congratulations. You've failed. But believe me when I say this, I don't let anyone get away with making Shaz look like a fool.
Now, look Doom. Myself, and you. We've both got some pretty mad abilities. With your strange, unrealistic abilities associated with your life never ending, and my crazy abilities on being the baddest wrestler in the JBW. But you are no way, tough as you think you are. In order to be tough, you've gotta reach the 100% mark...
But you can't even hit the 10% mark man!
*Huge cheers from the crowd, as Shaz smirks*
Shaz: The key to being a tough guy, is letting the target know, that you are coming for them. But what the hell did you do to me?! Besides attacking me from behind? Now dude. That is FAR from being a tough guy, and I've got these people, and some delusional pricks backstage that may back my statement up!
But I really am glad, that you did attack me. Because while I was wrestling in the ring like a man, shagging chicks, smoking weed, winning titles. I forgot all about you. Aren't you the guy who get's all impatient when a show doesn't go up? When you went AWOL, back over in another fed, I won a title. And then you returned in a blink of an eye, as that fed was in a process of something called "War Games".
You kept, asking me for a title shot. I wasn't the fucking boss man, I told you like what, 6-7 times? You had to go to the back of the cue, and you were a target at that time. But like I said, I forgot all about you. So attacking me was a good reminder for me to open my eyes, and wake the fuck up, so I can proceed with what I do best, which is kicking plastic ass!
*Crowd immediately get behind Shaz as he looks over at Doom laughing*
Shaz: But now, I honestly couldn't give two shits about now being in the TV title match against Mike Hawk. However, there always must be matches on a PPV. But I know for a fact, that I will get one. Why? Well, because I'm bloody Shaz!! The best in the fuckin' world! But there is always someone who I HAVE to face, so I can move an inch closer to the main event.
Hmm, that's a bit tough for me. Who should I face at Resurrection? Oh yes! The impatient, delusional, ugly little fuck that I am staring at right now! So say hello, or as I, a real hood geezer would say "wagwun", to the guy who will muller your ass back to where you should have been 500 years ago...a coffin!
*Shaz drops his mic hard, and goes face to face with Doom, as they both look like they are gonna beat the crap out of each other. Just as Shaz cocks his arm back, however, Jman's face pops up on the JabeTron.*
Jman: Hold it! Hold it! You two buffoons wanna do this? You'll do it at Resurrection. If either of you so much as breath on each other before then, I'll drag my semi-retired ass out of this office chair, go down there, and kick your teeth down your goddamn throat. Tough guys my ass.
With that, J disappears, the crowd pops, and we fade to break with Shaz and Doom, very reluctantly, retreating.
Patrick Riley: We're back and now itâ€™s time for another non-title match!
Dudley Erickson: Chris Divine won the first ever JBW Intercontinental Championship at Blood Harvest and after earlier tonight, one man will be watching ever so closely.
Patrick Riley: Thatâ€™s right, Van Hooligan X is in the back watching this on a monitor.
Dudley Erickson: And he knows all about Divineâ€™s opponent tonight.
Patrick Riley: Darius doesnâ€™t exactly care for Van either.
Dudley Erickson: I donâ€™t know why not- the man is charming!
Darren Black: The following is a non-title bout set for one fall! Approaching the ring from Albany, New York- weighing 235 pounds, he is the Innovator of Insanity, Darius!
Patrick Riley: This guy here has a hell of a lot of talent.
Dudley Erickson: I disagree Pat, I think heâ€™s just as bad as weâ€™ve had in this company.
Patrick Riley: Heâ€™s the TWE World Champion and has been number one contender to the ICW & IWA World Championships on numerous occasions. He was also the number one contender to the HWA World Championship before that closed down.
Dudley Erickson: All Iâ€™m seeing is one win and a whole lot of a losses.
Darren Black: And his opponent, he is the JBW Intercontinental Champion...Chris SO FINE Divine!
Patrick Riley: Now this guy is a man to watch!
Dudley Erickson: I think heâ€™s overrated.
Patrick Riley: You would Duds.
Dudley Erickson: Tell me what Chris Divine has ever done. He calls out Van Hooligan X but heâ€™s never been a world champion, Van has been! Three times! The best thing Divine ever did was win the title on his shoulder and that was a fluke.
Match ?: Darius (Edge) vs. Chris Divine (Randy Orton)
(00:43 to 11:19)
Patrick Riley: Quick paced action but Divine nearly took Dariusâ€™ head off there!
Dudley Erickson: Is this over yet?
Divine immediately grabs Darius and drags him to his feet. He throws Darius into the corner and follows up with a standing dropkick that drops Darius to the ground. Divine goes for a quick cover.
Darius kicks out but Divine keeps the pressure on, locking in an armbar. Darius immediately escapes though, by grabbing the bottom rope. Divine lets the submission go and backs up as Darius uses the ropes to get to his feet. They lock up again and Darius wins the exchange, backing Divine up to the ropes and locking in a headlock. He flips Divine over his body onto the ground, still with the headlock locked in.
Divine manages to get his knees up and hit Darius with a knee to the back of the head. Two more shots and Darius leads go, rolling away, holding the back of his head. Divine backs up to the ropes and uses them to get to his feet, turning around to a rising Darius. As soon as Darius turns around, Divine goes for the Divine Intervention but Darius throws him off and backs up to a corner. Divine gets up and turns around, only to be hit with a Spear! Darius drops down and covers Divine.
Patrick Riley: What a win for Darius! He just beat the Intercontinental Champion!
Dudley Erickson: Oh thank god thatâ€™s over.
Back in the ring, Darius is celebrating but turns around and helps Divine to his feet. He raises Divineâ€™s hand in the air before the two men embrace.
Patrick Riley: Tremendous show of respect there folks.
Dudley Erickson: Somebody get me a sick bag! Move on with the damn show!
Patrick Riley: Can't we just book Darius and Divine in an Ironman match right now. I'm kidding, and I know they're already getting congradulated backstage, but man...
Dudley: I'd rather watch Lenny Lightning.
Malcolm Cage comes out to a arena full of cheering fans, but Cage is not having any of it. He still looks upset from last weeks loss. Cage steps in the ring and looks around the crowd as he prepares to speak.
Cage: Last week we saw the longest reigning JBW TV Champion lose the title to some new punk, someone who just got. All that hard work, all that energy spent getting to that point, lost in one match to a guy who had done nothing to get that shot, it angers me to no end. Mike Hawk maybe your new TV Champion, but JBW will always know who was the better man in that match, Malcolm Cage!
Crowd cheers for the former TV Champion.
Now if that wasnâ€™t bad enough, I was then disrespected by The Prophecy backstage. How could a guy who has been around as long as Prophecy act like that. He knew how much that title meant to me, and has the gall to confront me and put himself in my business. Whatâ€™s the problem Proph? Come out here and give me one good reason you would act like that. Come out here and explain why you would take your time to and insult to injury.
The Prophecy comes out with a look of dissapointment on his face,
Proph: Malcolm, I understand you wanting to know why I stared you down last week, but isn't it simple huh...considering what took place moments before that?
Prophecy gets into the ring not taking his eyes of Cage.
Proph: In case you forgot, I have been in JBW since day one episode one, and I have seen them all come and go. Guys who will go down in history as some of the best, and guys who to this day still amaze me with all they somehow managed to accomplish. You see throughout my time here I have kept my eye on a few "diamonds in the rough" and up until recently, I had you pegged as a real stand out, a guy ready to make that jump one day to immortality.
Prophecy lowers his head taking his eyes of Cage and turning his back on him.
Proph: But my friend you let me down. Losing a championship is never good, but losing it to a newcomer here, that makes you look even worse. With all due respect Malcolm, you quickly went from being a diamond, to nothing more than a piece of glass, shattered by Hawk.
Prophecy turn back to Cage and gets in his face.
Proph: You failed yourself, and whats more you failed JBW when you lost. More importantly you failed me...its not easy to impress The Prophecy but you did, and then in the blink of an eye...you may have just proved me wrong, and that I do not like.
Cage: Wait a sec Proph, I didnâ€™t know I was doing this shit for you. If I had know this whole time that you were my boss, man that would have changed everything. But guess what? Youâ€™re not my boss. And I donâ€™t have to prove anything to you.
You think Iâ€™m not disappointed in what happened, you think Iâ€™m not upset with myself. You donâ€™t think I play that match back over and over again in my head. I do! I keep seeing myself lose the title. Every time I close my eyes, I see it happen. And it doesnâ€™t matter what I do, that immortality will never be my spot. No one will ever respect Malcolm Cage, NO ONE! It doesnâ€™t matter how many titles I win. It doesnâ€™t matter how many legends I beat. All you will ever see is some upstart who never got of the fucking ground. Thatâ€™s all anyone will ever see.
When I won the TV title, I thought it was going to be different. I thought I was finally going to gain some respect. I thought I was finally going to be the guy that people want to see, the guy that people talk about the next, the guy that people want in there corner, on there TV screen. I thought that Cage was finally going to have his name on the tongues of the great ones, but that never happened. He got passed by. He got left in the dust, forgotten. Cage got nothing but Shit! What do I have to do Proph? What do I have to do to be recognized, huh? What do I have to do?
You can take your respect somewhere else, cause I donâ€™t want it. Donâ€™t come out here and say I didnâ€™t impress you, cause I have never gotten anything from you ever, so donâ€™t start talking now about how you â€œsaw something in me.â€ I have always been the guy in the shadows of JBW. I have always been the one who is never remembered. You ever felt that way Proph? No you havenâ€™t, cause ever since you got here, you have been eating from that silver spoon. Iâ€™ve had to work for everything I got, and still donâ€™t have shit.
At this point there only seems to be one way out of it. There is only one way to get that recognition. There is only one way to get the respect everyone else has taken from me, something that you have and donâ€™t deserve, and that is beating one of the few guys who has been here since day one. The only way to get what is rightfully mine is to beat YOU!
The crowd buzzes as Cage stares down Prophecy after his threatening remark.