The show begins without an opening video, and from the offset we are treated to a wide shot of The Chinese Theatre.
There is a huge crowd of hardcore JBW fans standing behind a pair of barriers that are on either side of a red carpet that leads up to the entrance of the building. A limousine pulls up, but before we get a view of who is in it, the camera cuts to the red carpet where an intelligent looking man in a sharp suit is seen smiling and holding a microphone, replete with a jBw logo. He is wearing an oversized name-tag that reads "Collin Hobert". As the fans can be heard chanting "JAY BEE DUB!"
Colin Hobert: Hello everyone, and welcome to WARFare, as you can see by the oversized name-tag I am currently sporting over the breast pocket of my suit, my name is Colin Hobert. Yes, that's pronounced, Ho-Bear, thank you very much, and I am Justifiably Badass Wrestling's brand new reporter. And its plain to see that I have one of the best jobs on the planet right now. I'm actually here on the red carpet a mere hour before showtime and I have had the opportunity to speak with some of the celebrities that will be in attendance here tonight. Let's see a few quotes from some of those that are already here at the world famous Chinese Theatre.
Originally Posted by Jay and Silent Bob
Originally Posted by Chris Rock
Originally Posted by Method Man
Originally Posted by Charlie Sheen
Originally Posted by One Direction
Back on the red carpet JBW reporter Colin Hobert -mic in hand- approaches the latest celebrity to step out of a limousine--Christopher Walken.
Christophers security stop Colin from getting anywhere near him and Mr Highlander walks past the fans as they bow down and chant "We're not worthy!".
Hobert: Well, folks, that was Christopher Waken, and, how's about some of those quotes, huh? Its clear to see that JBW's WARFare: Live at The Chinese theatre is the hottest ticket in town. These people know that only in JBW can you witness the type of hard hitting action mixed with pure unadulterated entertainment that they're going to witness here to-- oh, look, another limousine has just pulled up, I can't wait to find out who it is!
The door to the white limo opens, and out steps a pregnant Megan Fox. The fans behind the barriers begin the obligatory catcalls as the camera zooms in on Megan, allowing the viewer to read what is on the stomach area of her tight white T-Shirt.
Collin approaches Megan--his eyes bulging a little as he too learns what is printed on her tee.
Collin: Wow, that's quite the statement you've made here tonight, Ms Fox.
Megan Fox: Are you staring at my tits?
Collin: Uh, what? No, they, I mean, I wa-was just a l-l-little taken aback at what is embl-blazoned on your T-Shi-
Megan: Haha, I'm just fooling ya, you can stare all you want; they are the money makers after all! Now, where's The Alpha Dog?
Collin: Um, Ms Fox, The Alpha Dog isn't scheduled to appear here tonight, he is in fact now a member of the Mayhem roster, an-
Megan: Look, little man, I haven't got a clue what you just said, but I'm going to find that man tonight--you mark my words.
Megan walks off, in the direction of the building as the paparazzi's cameras flash and the catcalls continue.
JBW Reporter, Collin Hobert watches Megan for a second or two, then turns around and finds himself face to face with Paul Heyman and his long time friend -and client- Brock Lesnar.
Collin: *mouths* Wow...
Brock Lesnar: Ya' darn freakin' right, wow, little man, Brock Lesnar is here to watch some freaking JBW action! They don't play around here, and as far as I'm concerned, this place has got the toughest freaking wrestlers on earth!
Collin: That is certainly true, Mr Lesnar, and, yes, this is indeed a wow moment, but, is that the only reason you're here tonight? Could there be a meeting with Kas-
Paul Heyman: Uh, I think I'll take it from here, Brock--this interview is ov-
Brock: No, Paul, I'll take this! I'll take this scrawny little runt and shove his head up his ass for trying t'start rumours!
Brock grabs Collin by the front of his suit, crumpling his oversized name tag, and pulls him towards himself.
Do you really think its a smart idea to start rumours you little ass-
???: Hey, Brock, why don't you pick on someone your own size, ya bully! We just came here to have a good time; why'd ya' have to act some kind of albino gorilla?!
Brock lets go of Collin and spins around -as does the camera- he sees Ken Shamrock.
Brock: Whoa, what?! Who you think you're talking to ya' washed up has-been? I'm about to kick your ass waaaay worse than Tito ever could!
Brock makes a dash for Ken, but before he can reach him there are a dozen or so security between them. Brock seems to not care and attempts to bulldoze his way through them.
Ken does the same and the security team are in trouble.
Suddenly, JBW Chairman, Ka$hDinero gets out of a black hummer and runs over towards the ruckus.
Ka$hDinero: WHOA! WHOA! Easy, boys!!! Brock, Ken, calm the fuck down! What the hells going on around here?!
Brock: He started it!
Ken Shamrock: Only because you was picking on Collin!
Brock: He was starting rumours!
Collin: I was not!
Ka$h: Shut up, Collin! Brock, Ken, I don't even wanna hear it. I've invited you guys here to watch what is gonna be a great show, and all you wanna do is hog the limelight and make it about yourselves?! Man, that's not on fellas. Brock, you said you couldn't wait to get here, and now you're here you act like this? Come on, dude?! How am I meant to let you in now? And as for you, Ken, you're old enough to know better! Now, the only way The Doors To The House Of Jabe will only be open for you guys if you apologize to one another right here right now.
Ken: No way?!
Brock: I ain't saying sorry to no one! Uh-uh-no-way!!
Ka$h: Well, I'm sorry, but I can not in good faith let you in, bruv.
Brock: Ah, but I really wanna see the show, Ka$h. Ahh, what the hell.
Brock sheepishly looks down to the ground as he mumbles a quiet and softly spoken 'Sorry, Ken.'
Ken accepts his apology and also mumbles that he's sorry and extend his fist.
Brock meets his fist, and Ka$h puts his arms around both men's shoulders and says...
"Only in Jabe! Come on, guys, let's go watch ourselves a little WARFare!"