(All the food is just about almost cooked, the little card table is now full with potato and macaroni salads, paper plates, napkins and plastic forks and spoons. There are a few people standing around and someone has brought another ice chest of beer. Sleeper hangs up a sign off the corner of his trunk lid saying "Open For Business". A guy walks up to the grill..)
Random fan: I'll have a leg, a thigh, 1 brat some of that potato salad and do you have any sodas?
Sleep: Oh, I'm not selling this food. I will hook some people up maybe.
Random fan: Then why did you put up that sign?
Sleep: Oh that cuz I' m selling ............."condiments".
Randon fan: Condiments!?
Sleep: Yeah, I've got "lettuce" for $60 an eighth, that I picked my self from an organic farm in Mendocino county in Northern California. I have "shiitake mushrooms" for $50 a quarter, that I grew my self in my personal organic garden. And then I have "parmesan cheese" for $60 a gram, that comes from Columbia.
Random fan: What!? Parmesan cheese is from Italy.
Sleep: Obviously you are at the wrong party, dog. Just get the fuck out of here.
Random fan #2: I'll take a gram of that "parmesan cheese" and a quarter ounce of that "lettuce".
Sleep: Fo' Sho'. That's gonna be $180.
Random fan #3: Hey, I have never ate a shiitake mushroom before and i have 4 other people that will be eating them with me. How much would suggest I eat and how much should I buy for a total of 5 people?
Sleep: Well everyone is kinda different on that. I would say start out by eating an eighth of shiitake mushrooms, but you might wanna buy a little extra because some people might need to eat a little more to have the same effect as others. So I will sell you 3 quarters for $150.
Random fan #3: Ok thanks!
Random fan #4: Let me get an ounce of that bomb ass weed you got man.
Sleep: I don't know what you're talking about homie.
Random fan #4: I just smoked some with my boy and he said he just got it and some coke from you. And I ran right over here cuz I need to get me some of that.
Sleep: He didn't get it from me man. I'm just over here chillin and drinkin some beers. And fool, I think you need get the fuck out of here cuz you're startin to piss me off.
(We now go into the arena where order has been restored from the RedRuM and Alpha Dog scuffle. R(ob) and St. George are in the ring and thereâ€™s a podium with a velvet sack sitting there. They both have smiles on their faces and R(ob) has a mic.)
R(ob): St. George and myself are out here to make a big announcement. We have sat in the back tonight and tried to decide which feud wouldâ€¦ benefit more from what weâ€™re about to unveil. We thought a lot. And we have come to the conclusion that Artemis Eclipse and Sagittarius Blue have the most volatile feud currently aside from what we just witnessed between Alpha Dog and RedRuM. We felt that Alpha and â€˜RuM have enough going on to not be concerned with what we have hereâ€¦
(R(ob) picks up the sack and takes out a new Championship belt. He holds it high above his head as cameras are going off trying to get a picture of it. As he puts it back on the podium, St. George holds his mic up to speak.)
St. George: Lawd above! We've decided what da Sagittarius Blue an' Artemis Eclipse'll 'ave mawer van pride on da line. This Championship is da new JBW UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP! It won't be a regular match either loves. It's gon'a be a Ladder Match. The new Championship'll be strung up 'igh above da rin' an' deese two men'll battle i' aaaht ter be da first ever JBW US Champion!! How do yew like that?, innit.
(The crowd goes crazy as we fade to the back. We see Larry passed out in the floor of the locker-room, surrounded by pills and puke.)
Ronaldo Romulus: Ariseâ€¦â€¦arise!
Larry: Fuck. Your. Ass. I just took 16 xanax bars and a fifth of rum, I'll be up in an hour mommy...
(Ronaldo kicks Larry in the stomach, turning him over and causing him to let out a huge fart.)
Larry: WHAT THE FUCKBALLS?! YOU MOTHERFUCK!!.......wait....Je.......Je.....Jesus?!
Romulus: The despotic and disdainful uncouthness, forthcoming from your lips, antagonizes the very core of my sensibilities. Though I am very much an ambrosial entity, produced by the very hands of our God Himself, I am NOT he of whom you speak. My name is Ronaldo Romulus, the acquisition of anointing, the beacon of blessings and the messenger of salvation for the unbridled serfs of the JBW. Through me, even a disheveled Neanderthal, such as yourself, can find peace.
(Larry stands up and looks at Romulus puzzlingly.)
Larry: What the fuck did you just say to me?! Ohhhhhh I get it, you're speaking in tongues!! Oh holy Christ's ballsack, you got any holy water on you? My water's been cut off at my camper and I need to clean the hooker poop off my balls....It's starting to itch...
Romulus: Yeeech! Are you mad?! Is your frontal lobe affixed on feeble adherence?! The chosen one does NOT cleanse sickly beggars of the excrement encrusting their genitalia nor does he demean himself to such servile acts of humility towards abominable peons such as yourself! Bow down before me and abjure for my forgiveness lest you incur the Wrath of Remâ€¦
Larry: So I take it you wanna join me? I don't bite.......unless you pay me, hehe. I haven't boned a Jesus freak since I sodomized that nun that one time. Maaaan I tell ya, she did some serious praying!
Romulus: The more I entertain your babble, the more I lament the spiral of decency in mankind. As if the serfs I must endure barbaric in-ring competition with are not enough of a taxing headache, even the interviewers must breed of uncleanliness and curt conduct..
(As Romulus is talking, Larry digs in his buttcrack, pulls out a poop covered bag of multicolored pills, and takes a small handful.)
Larry: WAIT, I DO KNOW YOU! You're that guy that's going after the T.V. Dinner championship. Man I could go after some manballs I mean meatballs right now. I mean uhh, why the T.V. belt?
Romulus: Why not? It is under my estimation that whosoever bears the Television Championship will defend such it more frequently than any other championship currently active. What better platform to display my feats of celestial formidability than with such an honor? What better pulpit to draw in the sickly minded serfs in than with the JBW Television Championship in my possession? It is my hopes that this mass of dissidents be more wary of their impending demise and of their lowly status as mere mortal men than of the degenerates in the EWNCW!
Larry: Now who the fuck are you? Je....Jesus? Could you ask God to heal me off my severe case of herpes I got going on? I knew I shouldn't have asked for a blowjob from that chick at the corner...the blisters on her mouth should have been my first clue. DAMNIT! I mean, I'm sorry Jesus I didn't mean to cuss. I know I'm a fucktard. DAMNIT!! Don't say fucktard...I said fucktard.
Romulus: Fool. You bear the thorns of your own folly. The Lord will not respond to such a meager plea of deliverance from yourâ€¦herpes. Now then, youâ€¦
Larry: Speaking of my herpes, would you mind laying hands on my penis and healing it?! I'll try my best not to get a hard-on, promise!
Romulus: ABSOLUTELY NOT! YOU VILE, DEBASED, DEBAUCHERING DEVIL! Never in recorded history has man ever encountered such an archaic force of wickedness and depravity until this very moment! In all my years of dwelling amongst the swine of the Earth, I have neverâ€¦.NEVER confronted a more contemptible sow such as yourself! Why the Lord allows you plight of mankind to exist I will never know nor will I even attempt to unravel the decrypted and diseased defilement that plagues your mind! Why I shouldâ€¦
(The pills that Larry took earlier begin to kick in, he staggers a bit, and falls over with his head making a loud THUNK!)
Larry: FUCK! Don't say fuck in front of....Jesus.....fu...ck....
(Romulus rolls his eyes and walks off, leaving Larry lying in a puddle of his own blood and puke as we go back to the arena for the next matchâ€¦)
MATCH. 03 â€“ NIGHTWOLF vs SAMUEL KA$HMEN
Pat: THANKFULLY we are back here at ringside getting ready for the third match of the evening. New JBW hire, Samuel Ka$hmen is on his way out nowâ€¦
(Ka$hmen is out first with mixed reactions from the crowd. He makes his way down to the ring. The audience really doesnâ€™t know much about him but a few do and are screaming â€œWHATCHA GONNA DO BRUVA!!â€ He begins laughing while he takes off his sunglasses and unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt.)
Pat: Tonight weâ€™re seeing the debut of a British talent known as Samuel Ka$hmen that was utilized in a company called SRW. Weâ€™re being told Mustachio from earlier tonight was also a member of that belly-up federation. Mustachio earlier proved he has a ton of heart and I bet Mr. Ka$hmen has the same.
Dudley: Yeah, and it's about to get ripped the hell out of his chest.
Pat: Wow, really?
Dudley: He's facing NightWolf man, that guy can like, summon arrows from nothingness and shit.
Pat: Not the same guy, jackass.
(NightWolf comes out to a mixed reaction from the JBW Faithful, seemingly unconcerned by his opponent waiting for him in the ring. He jumps in, immediately trash talking Ka$hmen, shoving him like a high school bully as the bell rings.)
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(Stop at 7:18, you know, if you feel lucky)
(With Cena as the Great Ka$hmen, and Kurt Angle himself filling the hard-to-cast role of Nightwolf)
Pat: Wow, Ka$hmen has really stepped up to the plate here, something tells me that Nightwolf hasn't really been taking him that seriously as an opponent.
Dudley: That's about to change, he's pissed off now.
(Dudley's prediction proves to be correct as NightWolf, getting to his feet behind the rookie steps back to the corner, waiting. Just as Ka$hmen turns the veteran explodes into action, charging forward with a stiff Clothesline that flips Ka$hmen's muscled frame in a full somersault, landing on his chest and stomach.)
Dudley: Now it's gonna get fun
Pat: sometimes I wonder about you.
(NightWolf reaches down, grabbing Ka$hmen by the hair he lifts him to his feet, before kicking him hard in the gut, grabbing him and lifting the rookie high into the air.)
Pat: And a hard suplex, that's gotta knock the wind out of ya.
Dudley: And he's still holding on!
(NightWolf snaps his hips, getting back to his feet without breaking grip he hits the suplex a second time! the ring shakes with the force of the impact as Ka$hmen seems to bounce off the canvas, but still NightWolf holds tight!)
Pat: he's going for a third!
Dudley: Do it! Do IT!!!
(NightWolf pops up, lifting Ka$hmen high in the air for the third suplex, Ka$hmen starts to kick, struggling against his opponent, seeming finally to get the upper hand he comes back down, landing on his feet!)
(Ka$hmen runs back, hitting the bottom ropes and coming in with a hard clothesline!)
Pat: This could do it!
(NightWolf has him scouted however, and with a speed reminiscent of Shawn Michaels, throws his weight to his back foot, crouching down and coming up with a stiff Superkick that lands right on target, straight to the rookie's jaw! His momentum immediately turned against him, Ka$hmen's body seems to stop in mid-air, before falling back to the canvas, the whites of his eye's showing as his body seems almost to twitch. NightWolf goes for the cover, a cocky smile on his face.)
(NightWolf picks Ka$hmen's arm up, breaking the count!)
Pat: Now why the hell would he do that?
Dudley: Because he's not done yet.
(With an evil look in his eye, NightWolf climbs the turnbuckle, looking back to make sure that his opponent is still out, he comes off the turnbuckle with a sharp moonsault, hitting dead on! holding his own body with one arm, he goes back for the pin!)
Pat: A good try, but in the end NightWolf was the better man.
Dudley: Wow, you said something smart, you may not be as stupid as I thought.
Pat: Your approval fills me with shame, Duds.
(NightWolf gets out of the ring and grabs a mic. He jumps back in and circles Ka$hmen before speaking.)
NightWolf: You see that?! I just made an example of this sore loser over here. When he goes home tonight he will have to think long and hard about the ass kicking he received from yours truly! This is also the future that awaits a certain wrestler in the back. He gets off on being this mysterious wrestler... What was his name again? (Pauses to think.) Was it Urstinkin? (crowd says no.) Was it Shoryuken? (crowd says no again.) Was it Shuriken? (crowd cheers loudly as he finally got it correct.) Ahh! Got it! Now Shuriken.. You have been on my case for so long now about a match. It seems that the almighty powers above ended up granting your wish!
Listen closely Shuriken and listen good! I also want everyone in the audience to listen as well. So take your chubby little fingers off of the popcorn bowls and put those chubby butt cheeks of yours on the edge of your seats because I have a very interesting story to share with you all. A long time ago in a land far FAR away Shuriken and I had a little issue that came up in a tag team match. I left him high and dry in his match, but he failed to understand that I was playing it smart to reserve my energy for a more bigger and far more important match. Ever since then Shuriken has been the most annoying flea ever that I could not quite scratch. I....
(Shuriken comes out with an irritated look on his face while the crowd cheers loud.)
Shuriken: See? That is why I can't stand you, NightWolf. I can't stand other people in the back but you are the one I can't stand the most. You don't go far in this business by being selfish. You go far by putting everything on the line and never running away from a fight!
(Crowd cheers loud.)
Shuriken: As for our history....we never had a proper match for this occasion. And what an occasion it is! A sneaky bastard like you against me, Ryusuke "Shuriken" Serra. I hope you are ready to fight soon NightWolf because I am. The fans here are ready. All of us are ready to kick your ass. And kick it real hard for you.
Shuriken: I hope you don't run away but then again....we already know that you are a coward. So take this fight like a man!
(NightWolf smiles and looks at Shuriken.)
NightWolf: I will take more than a fight to you. At FOR THE CAUSE, we will tear the roof down more than any of these spineless pricks in the audience ever would. Shuriken, if you donâ€™t bring youâ€™re A-Game, Iâ€™m going to eat you alive.
(NightWolf throws the mic down and they stare at each other while we go to commercial break.)
(Cameras cut back to outside as we come back from break and now the tail-gating has turned into a full out party in the parking lot. There are now hundreds of people in the parking lot with kegs and around 15 ice chests full of beer. The parking lot is trashed with beer cans and bottles scattered everywhere. Sleepy is now sitting on his ice chest with the card table set up and he and 3 other people are sitting there playing dominoes. Police have now shown up and are walking over to the Sleeperâ€¦)
Police Officer: Sir I'm gonna have to ask you to end this party. We have got a lot of calls reporting that this party is out of hand and that there is drug dealings going on here.
Sleep: I ain't shuttin shit down man. All those calls are just from people not happy with us for some reason and tryin to lie on us. We have every right to be out here. I am JBW superstar, the Sleeper, and I have been asked by my boss here at the JBW to start a new JBW Fan Interactive. And I decided to give back to the fans that can't afford a ticket to the show.
Police Officer: Sir this parking lot is trashed and everybody here appears to be drinking. How are you guys verifying age to all these people?
Sleep: Well, officer, just like any show we have people that come in after we leave and clean up. And we are not serving anyone alcohol out here. Everyone is bringing their own, so I don't have to verify anyone's age
Police Officer: Sir can I see your ID please.
(Sleep pulls out his ID and hands it to the officer.)
Police Officer: Mr. Anaya, I'm going to need you to take off your mask so that I can properly identify you.
Sleep: Man do you see all these people and those cameras? We are doing a live show right now. Everyone inside the arena and at homes are watching all of this right now. If I take off my mask right now, in front of all these people, it would end my career as a luchedor immediately. So take my ID go run it you will find I have no warrants or anything and you guys can be on your mutha fuckin way.
Police Officer: Oh I'm going to be running you don't worry about that, sir. Can you please call your boss and have him come out here so we can have a talk with him?
Sleep: Are you serious, he is inside the arena right now putting on a show for tens of thousands of people in attendance and millions around the world. He doesn't have the time to come out here and be involved with this nonsense.
Police Officer: Well Mr. Anaya I'm going to be straightforward with you. I already told you that we have received calls about drug dealing going on, well on those reports you were the one being identified as the person out here selling the drugs. So I'm going to have to search you and your vehicle.
Sleep: Really!? I just made more money today sitting in a parking lot drinking beer than you probably make in a year. I don't need fuckin to sell no drugs to make ends fool. And if that's the case then Imma let you know right now that I know my rights. And you are not searching shit right now. I am not on any probations, parole and I have never been convicted of a felony so that means I have all my rights. Which means I have the right to refuse you requests to search me or my property without a search warrant.
Police Officer: We have reports directly identifying you as the one dealing drugs sir.
Sleep: And!? All that is is hearsay and if you did find anything it would be illegal search and seizure since you don't have any physical proof before a search, a search warrant and I am refusing to let you search. But I know how you pigs work and you're not gonna leave till you get your way. So you can go get a fuckin dog and I'll let him sniff me and around my car.
Police Officer: Well Mr. Anaya, if that's the way we have to do it then so be it.
The police bring in their drug sniffing dog and walk him around the Sleeper and his car. The dog doesn't signify that it has found any drugs and the police officer sees the Sleeper doesn't have any warrants and gives Sleep back his ID.......
Police Officer: Ok Mr. Anaya I guess everything straight now to my satisfaction and we will be on our way.
Sleep: Yeah you got your 15 minutes of fame now get the fuck out.
(The police officers leave Sleeps turns the music back up goes back to his dominoes game and the party resumes. We fade to inside the building as we see Mike Hawk sitting on a plush leather couch. Heâ€™s reading his phone and quickly tosses it to the floor. An assistant quickly sweeps it up and tosses it while another brings him a new phone and his freshly polished title.)
Hawk: Now I know you all know about the dangers of being a beloved TV star. Here on JBTV alone, I have guest stars all the time looking to take my show, my viewers and my sponsors. But they have failed countless times to realize why I am Mr. JBTV. But another danger that you don't see on the screen are critics. You see, critics are guys who want what I have but can't get it because they aren't as good as me. So to fight back, they through temper tantrums on the internet trashing my work, writing vlogs to tarnish my good name and leach off my fame like parasites.
But the worst critics of all are the ones who act like they are all high and mighty. Now theses guys view everything around them as filth and smut and insult my work. But at For the Cause my mystery opponent is a critic who has constantly trashed JBTV backstage since he was signed. Now I know what your thinking, why would I defend against him. Well critics don't see justice often because they hide behind their words, but every once in a while they will get balls and try to prove me wrong.... and fail every time. But these rare bouts are ripe for viewers and a good performer doesn't disappoint the viewers.
So without further ado, at For the Cause, my return to JBTV. It will be Mike Hawk vs Ronaldo Romulus for the Television title at FOR THE CAUSE! Now take that in for a bit because it is a lot. Mark out, Twitter it, Tout it, do whatever you can to spread it because I will shut up JBTV's biggest critic on that day.
Pat: Well, those were an eventful few minutes, eh Duds?
Dudley: Yessir! We just found out that Mike Hawk is ready for the challenge of Ronaldo Romulus and Sleeper is still being awesome in the parking lot.
Pat: The way he spoke to that officer was unneeded. The man is reacting to legitimate reports of drug use and Sleeper treated him like a lesser being. I cannot agree with how heâ€™s acting.
Dudley: Itâ€™s nothing different. He acts this way all the time Patricia.
(Pat looks at Dudley and keeps his composure.)
Pat: Either way, up next we have the fourth match of the evening. It was made earlier tonight by St. George and Iâ€™m thinking itâ€™s going to be a helluva match. Iâ€¦
Pat: Yeah, lets just make this a weekly thing already.
(Pat throws his arms up as the cameras turn to see SAGITTARIUS BLUE running out from the entrance and rushes down the ramp. He is wearing a custom jacket on with the hood up. When he gets to the bottom of the ramp he comes to a complete stop and stands still, looking around with his face slightly hidden by the hood. He then drops the hood down and yells â€œNOW OR NEVERâ€ while raising the rockstar hand sign (just like Edge) before rushing the ring.
Pat: And here comes Artemis Eclipse.
(Artemis comes out on stage with his head down and the hood to his hoody up and holds up his kendo stick to a mixed reaction from the fans. He then lifts up his head and heads to the ring...)
(Artemis slides into the ring, stands up, and then lifts his hands up to a mixed reaction from the crowd. He then goes over to one of the ring posts furthest from the stage, quickly jumps to the top, and sits on the top turnbuckle. He looks over at Blue then to the stage.)
(Alpha Dog walks out on stage to a loud ovation from the fans, he runs halfway down the ramp and stops. He is breathing hard with the eWN World Heavyweight Title around his waist. He stretches his neck around and jumps up and down a couple of times before yelling outâ€¦)
Alpha: IT'S DOMINATION TIME!!!!!!!
(Alpha then rushes into the ring and hands his belt to a stage hand. RedRuM is out next as Alpha begins to scowl.)
(RedRuM enters the ring and looks down at Alpha whoâ€™s still looking on from outside. He hops on the ring ropes and jumps into the ring to get this started quickly.)
MATCH. 04 â€“ ARTEMIS ECLIPSE vs REDRUM vs SAGITTARIUS BLUE vs ALPHA DOG
(Alpha Dog/Batista,RedRum/Kane,Artemis/JBl,Sag Blue/Cena)
*stop watching @6:18 *
(Mule kicks by both RedRuM and Artemis, taking them both out. Blue quickly crawls over to Artemis and covers him for the pin.)
Pat: Quick thinking by Sagittarius!!
(Alpha Dog, now on his feet, punts Blue in the head to break up the pin. Alpha Dog quickly rolls Blue over and covers him for the pin.)
Dudley: Even quicker thinking by the Alpha Dog right there.
(RedRuM and Artemis, now both on their feet, both grab a leg each of Alpha Dog and pull him off Blue breaking up his pin attempt.)
Pat: Alpha Dog almost won it if it were not for RedRuM and Artemis working together just now.
Dudley: Its not that they were really working together- they just stopped a pin, they both want to win it for themselves.
(Artemis quickly kicks RedRuM in the side of the knee which brings him down to one knee and holding his other knee that is in extreme pain. Artemis follows up with a few kicks to RedRuMâ€™s chest, then a hard kick to the face which finally brings Redrum to the mat. Artemis quickly rolls him up for the pin.)
(Alpha Dog, pulls Artemis up, breaking up the pin and he quickly punches hits Artemis squarely in the nose- bloodying his nose and his mask and knocking him out in the process.)
Dudley: Damn, what a punch.
(Alpha Dog then quickly covers Artemis for the pin.)
Dudley: And then Alpha Dog wins!
(Blue pulls Alpha Dog off Artemis, then performs a German Suplex on Alpha Dog, knocking the wind out of him, then covering him for the pin, hooking his legs for good measure.)
Pat: Man this is moving to0 fast to call.
Dudley: So true.
Kickout by Alpha Dog!!
Dudley: And the Alpha dog is still in it!
(Blue and Alpha Dog quickly get to their feet and get right in each otherâ€™s faces and start trading punches until RedRuM hits a hard shot to the back of Alpha Dogâ€™s head. He goes to hit Blue too but Artemis, who has finally come to, pulls Blue down and rolls him up for the pin.)
Dudley: I have a feeling Blueâ€™s time is up now!
(RedRuM pulls Artemis off Blue and pulls him up, punches him in the gut, then choke slams him to the mat. Alpha Dog is now behind RedRuM and attempts to get him in a headlock, but RedRuM responds with an elbow to Alpha Dogâ€™s chest. RedRuM then turns around and grabs Alpha Dog by the neck, then choke slams him to the mat. RedRuM turns around but is met by a spear from Blue. Blue quickly gets on top of RedRuM and starts pummeling him with rights and left to the head. Artemis pulls Blue off RedRuM, only for Alpha Dog to sneak up behind Artemis and suplexes him, then quickly covers him for the pin but is pulled off by Blue. Alpha Dog quickly gets up and gets in Blueâ€™s face. They are about to come to blows when RedRuM hits them both in the neck with a double clothesline which brings them both to the mat.)
(RedRuM looks out to the crowd, signaling that the match is over. As he turns to decide which of the two to cover for the pin, he is hit with a spear from Artemis who promptly covers him for the pin.)
Kickout by RedRuM!!
Dudley: Big mistake by RedRuM there, he should have just pinned one of the guys as soon as one of them hit the mat.
(Artemis pulls RedRuM up and quickly DDTs him- covering him again for the pin.)
Kickout RedRuM!! That was close!
(Artemis, a bit frustrated now, gets to his feet and turns around, only to be hit by a double dropkick by Blue and Alpha Dog. RedRuM goes to sit up but is hit by a low double dropkick by Blue and Alpha Dog.)
Pat: Nice teamwork by these two.
Dudley: As I said before, its not teamwork- yes, they worked together to take out two of their opponents but in a second they will be beating the shit out of each other.
(Blue and Alpha Dog both quickly get to their feet and get in each otherâ€™s faces yet again, Alpha Dog spits in Blueâ€™s face then hits Blue with a surprise right to the jaw, following up with a stiff left blow to his crouch. Blue is still on his feet but in clutching his groin as he is in extreme pain.)
Pat: And the ref didnâ€™t see that? Thatâ€™s a DQ right there.
Dudley: Sagittarius Blue will be ok, his lady friend Pieces Pink will nurse his dick back to health
(Unknown by both Blue and Alpha Dog, Artemis has climbed to the top turnbuckle and dives on Blue and Alpha Dog, taking them both down. Artemis picks Blue up and bodyslams him hard onto Alpha Dog. Artemis then shoves Blue out the ring and quickly covers Alpha Dog for the pin.)
Pat: I would have thought heâ€™d want to humiliate Blue by pinning him.
Dudley: Yeah, but I think Alpha Dog is in worse shape now- he just had a midget thrown on top of him- midgets hurt. I know, I've had one thrown at me in the past.
(While all this was going on, RedRuM has pulled himself up using the ropes and rushes at Artemis, kicking him in the head, breaking the pin attempt. RedRuM picks up Artemis and tosses him into the corner, following up with a running knee to Artemisâ€™s mid-section, Artemis then collapses in the corner- he is motionless for the next minute or so. RedRuM turns around only to find Alpha Dog going for the superkick.)
(RedRuM quickly ducks the kick but catches Alpha Dogâ€™s leg and shoves him hard down to the mat. RedRuM follows that up by stomping away at Alpha Dogâ€™s chest. RedRuM then pulls up Alpha Dog and Irish whips him into the rope. As RedRuM is about to rush at Alpha Dog as he is bouncing off the ropes, Alpha Dog hits RedRuM with a stiff blow to the throat that knocks the wind out of him. Alpha Dog quickly pins RedRuM.)
Dudley: And this is where Alpha wins!
Kickout by RedRuM! And youâ€™re wrong, yet again!
(Alpha Dog gets to his feet and quickly goes to climb up to the top turnbuckle. Just as he is about to dive off, Blue, recovered by now, climbs up the ring stairs behind Alpha Dog and shoves him off with Alpha Dog landing head first on the mat- seemingly knocking him out cold. Blue then climbs to the top turnbuckle and just as quickly dives off onto to Alpha Dog. He goes to cover him but RedRuM, still a bit winded, manages to pulls Blue off Alpha Dog, breaking the pin attempt before the ref can start counting.)
(Blue quickly gets to his feet, hits RedRuM with a stiff shot in the throat which causes RedRuM to gag and try to catch his breath. Blue goes to grab RedRuM but before he can do anything, Artemis hits Blue with a surprise flying clothesline which takes Blue out. Artemis quickly goes for the pin while Alpha Dog has slid out the ring and drops to the arena floor.)
Kickout by Blue!! Man that was close!!
Dudley: Damn that midget!
(Artemis head butts Blue and quickly goes for the pin again but Blue kicks out before the refs hand even hits the mat for the first count. Artemis pulls Blue up and is about to DDT him when RedRuM delivers a few stiff blows to his kidney region causing Artemis to drop Blue to the mat. Artemis quickly turns around and is met with a hard punch to the face from RedRuM, causing his nose to bleed even more yet Artemis finds it in him to connect with his own punch to RedRuMâ€™s face- busting his nose open too. Soon they are trading punches, more blood flowing from both of their faces with each blow.)
(RedRuMâ€™s face is now covered with a crimson mask of blood, and Artemis mask is now soaked with blood and they are both getting really groggy from their blood lose.)
Pat: I donâ€™t think they have anything left in them to go onâ€¦
(Seeing the state both Artemis and RedRuM are in, Blue gets to his feet, shoves Artemis back, then shoves RedRuM back- both men fall to the mat. Blue turns around to see where Alpha Dog is but is nowhere to be seen so Blue goes to cover Artemis for the pin.)
(Alpha Dog, who had slide out the ring earlier, has fully recovered and reentered the ring pulls Blue off Artemis and quickly DDTs him, the covers him for the pin.)
Thr-- Kickout by Blue!!
(Alpha Dog is pissed as he thought he had it won. He punches Blue in the face and goes to pin him once more but RedRuM, now on his feet again, pulls Alpha Dog off of him. Alpha gets to his feet and head-butts RedRuM in his face- further busting RedRuMâ€™s nose- more blood starts rushing out. Alpha Dog quickly takes him down and covers him for the pin.)
(Artemis pulls Alpha Dog off RedRuM, breaking the count.)
Pat: How these guys are still going, I don't know!!!
(Alpha Dog quickly gets to his feet and goes to deck Artemis in the face, but Blue, now also to his feet and behind Alpha Dog, grabs his arm, then shoves Alpha Dog into Artemis, then jumps on top of both of them pummeling them both the best he can.)
Dudley: Damn, look at that midget go!!
Pat: He's not that short.
(RedRuM slowly gets up, getting behind Blue, hitting him in the small of the back, then rolling him up for the pin, grabbing a handful of tights in the process- unseen by the ref of course.)
(Both Artemis and Alpha Dog scramble to get up and break the pin up.)
(But Artemis and Alpha Dog pull RedRuM off Blue one second too late.)
Dudley: And RedRuM sneaks out the win!!
Pat: Yes but he cheated in the process.
Dudley: But the ref didn't catch it though!
(RedRuM gets to his feet as does Sagittarius Blue. Alpha yells at all of them then bails out the ring. RedRuM and Artemis look at each other, then look at Blue- both kick him in the gut, then hit him with a short but strong clothesline. They both stand over Blue laughing. While they were doing that, Alpha Dog had gotten back onto the ring apron and climbed onto the top turnbuckle.)
(He awaits for Artemis and RedRuM to turn around and when they do, Alpha Dog hits them both with a suicide dive which knocks RedRuM out the ring and onto the floor- and Artemis is knocked into corner of the ring, hitting his head on a turnbuckle and knocking him out. Alpha Dog gets to his feet and surveys all the damage whole the crowd is chanting- THAT WAS AWESOME!!)
Pat: RedRuM may have won the match, but looks like Alpha Dog is the last man standing!
(Alpha Dog then leans up against the ring ropes as he is clearly worn out and yells out- WHAT'S HIS MOTHERFUCKING NAME?!!!" The fans kindly reply "ALPHA DOG!!!" "ALPHA DOG!!!" "ALPHA DOG!!!")
(Alpha Dog looks back in to the middle of the ring and sees Blue is finally starting to come to. He nods at Blue then slides out the ring and heads to the back to a pretty good pop and a standing ovation. Sagittarius Blue gets up, then leaves the ring to the same response.)
Pat: See, these fans are showing them the respect they deserve!
Dudley: Yeah, I got to admit they all put on a great showing!
(Medics have come out to check on both RedRuM and Artemis and they are both helped to their feet and helped to the back and they, like Alpha Dog and Sagittarius Blue receive a standing ovation. RedRuM is too out of it to really respond, but Artemis flips the crowd off.)
Dudley: What a classy guy Artemis is. He is the only guy to actually respond to the well deserved ovation!!!
Pat: Flipping people off is not a classy move Duds. What a helluva match that was indeed though. Iâ€™m being told thereâ€™s something developing in the back so, weâ€™ll be back soon for the main event of the evening!!
(The cameras cut to the locker room where Darius is seen lacing his boots and talking to himself. Darius notices the cameraman and holds up a finger, telling him to wait for a second as he finishes lacing his boots.)
Darius: Whats your name, Guy?
Cameraman: It's Guy.
Darius: Right, right, right, of course it is. Tell me Guy, do you know who I am?
Guy: You're Van Darius.
Darius: That's right, Guy but you seemed to forget something.
(Darius turns around, opens up his dufflebag and then pulls his IWA Endurance Championship and thr TWE Championship from the bag.)
Darius: I am Van Darius, the IWA Endurance Champion and the TWE World Champion. I own gold in every company that I am involved with except one. Do you know which company that is, Guy?
Guy: Justifiably Badass Wrestling.
Darius: You are correct again, my good man and because of this problem, I should be the number one contender for the JBW World Heavyweight Championship, right?
Guy: Well that's -
Darius: Of course I should be! I have been TWE world champion for nearly seven months, and I ended Mr. Smyth's IWA career while taking his gold away from him. Just because I lost to Malcolm Cage two weeks ago doesn't mean a damn thing! These two belts are my credibility right here. I am a champion and I deserve a shot at JBW's biggest prize!
This company is called Justifiably Badass Wrestling, and with me as champion it would truly be Badass. I mean come on, Guy. A Triple Crown Champion who has been called the next Cactus Jack representing JBW? The ratings would soar through the roof! I have proven myself to be a true champion for six months now and I'll continue to ...
(The locker room door opens slightly and both Darius and the camerman Guy overhear Mike Muir and April Snow talking)
Mike Muir: Sweetie, I'll talk to you later. Love you
April Snow: Love you more! Um, you think anybodies in here?
Muir: You've read my mind, let me check.
(Mike Muir opens the door to see Darius and Guy just staring at them both.)
April: OHHHHH Pooey! Oh well, later honeyâ€¦
(April gives Mike Muir a kiss and heads off down the hall and Muir enters the locker room looking down at Darius' belts he still has in his hands.)
Muir: Nice toys you got there. Where'd you get em on E-Bay? Craig's list? Walmart?
(Darius puts his titles down and get to his feet and gets in Muir's face, looking like he might deck him.)
Muir: Whoa man, just fucking with ya. I know you worked your ass off for those belts and the guys you had to go thru, you deserve em both. Am really impressed that you survived all what Seven Deadly Sins tried to put you through in TWE.
Guy: Seven Deadly Sins?
(Darius nods at Guy, relaxes and kind of backs away a little bit.)
Muir: By the way, I'm Mike Muir, don't believe we have met before.
(Mike Muir offers his hand to Darius who accepts it. They shake, but Muir doesn't let go of his hand.)
Muir: And I think I have to warn you now, you know the JBW World Heavyweight Title? Well its as good as mine, I proved myself last week against one of the biggest names here in JBW- Malcolm Cage a fucking original in this company. I deserve a shot at the belt. What you have done in other feds doesn't mean shit here.
(Muir lets go of Darius hand but Darius again gets in Muir's face and pushes him back. Just when it looks like Muir is about to push back, Cage steps in to frame as Darius and Mike Muir are about to scuffle. Darius and Muir notice Cage and both stop as he approaches.)
Cage: What's up guys, and Guy.
Guy: Oh thank God your here Cage...
Cage: Hey now, I ain't no hero anymore, but I understand that these too can be a little tough to handle. Don't worry I will take care of them.
(Cage claps his hands together and slowly rubs them against each other.)
Cage: Well, well, well, what do we have here? Two fellows who THINK they have a shot at that number one contenders spot. Is that right? You two think that you deserve a title shot? that you guys earned it? Well that seems a little fishy. Muir, did you just tell Darius that what he has done in other companies means nothing here?
Well you would be correct, just because Darius has two titles does not entitle him to a third, not here in JBW at least. He has to earn it, correct?
(Cage moves closer to the two men and gets in between them.)
Cage: Guy, you are going to want to get over and get this.
(Guy moves over and frames the three gentlemen in a shot.)
Cage: You are a decorated man, Darius, but have done nothing here in JBW, you don't deserve a #1 contender spot.
(Mike Muir starts to laugh as Cage rips Darius, but Cage is quick to shut him up with a hand in front of his face.)
Cage: But don't get it twisted Mike, you don't deserve one either. You talk about how things don't matter outside of this company, but last time I checked, you ain't done shit here either.
(Darius now laughs at Mike Muir who is likewise getting ripped by Malcolm Cage.)
Cage: Quite frankly neither of you deserve a shot at that title. There is only one man in this room right now who deserves that title and that is the Caged Assassin, Malcolm Cage.
I have done more in this company then either of you could even dream of doing here. I was the first ever JBW TV Champion and the next progression is the JBW Heavyweight Championship. I have defeated the best this company has had and I will continue to do so as the JBW Heavyweight Champion.
Sorry to say it fellas, but you guys have got a long way to climb until you can have that title, and you better start soon, cause when I finish my climb to the top, I'll be in a whole 'nother atmosphere. I'll be up with the stars while you'll be down in the pits, scratching just to stay alive here in JBW.
(Cage starts to leave while Darius and Muir just stare him down. Cage gets to the door and turns around motioning to Guy to come on but Darius and Muir hold him back. Cage comes back in and grabs Guy by the arm but Darius knocks his hand off. Malcolm gets into Dariusâ€™s face. Muir pushes them both. Cage fully enters the room now and closes the door behind him.)
Cage: So, you guys want to settle this right now? Lets go.
(They begin to square up as the door gets kicked in from the hallway. They all move out of the way and up against the wallâ€¦ ST. GEORGE has busted through.)
St. George: Gawdon Bennet! ENOUGH OF THIS SHIT!! You three wanna go? Then go where i' counts!! I'm seein' all free ov yew bastards 'ave da gumpshun ter be something. So 'ere's what I'm gonna do bruvas... at FOR THE CAUSE, you, yew an' yew are gonna be in da middle ov da rin' fightin' fer da most prestigious fn' yew could be... Da #1 Con'endership ter da JBW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!! Whoever wins'll get a Championship match at LUCK OF THE DRAW in June against whoever is da Champ after FOR THE CAUSE! Does dis sound good ter yew freaks?
(They all nod their heads â€œyesâ€ as St. George adjusts his suit jacket and props the door up on the frame and walks out with a smile on his face. The door falls back into the room as all three men still have shocked looks on their faces.)
Pat: HAHA!! We just witnessed St. George doing what he does best! Scare people, kick ass and now, make matches!!
Dudley: You can dress up a street thug but you canâ€™t take it out of him.
Pat: Youâ€™re such a mook. But before we have our main even of the night, lets take a quick rundown of the card for FOR THE CAUSE which will be live on Pay-Per-View on May 18th, 2013!!
MATCH. 01: ALPHA DOG vs REDRUM
(No Holds Barred Street Fight)
MATCH. 02: ARTEMIS ECLIPSE vs SAGITTARIUS BLUE
(JBW United States Championship Ladder Match)
MATCH. 03: DARIUS vs MIKE MUIR vs MALCOLM CAGE
(#1 Contender To JBW World Heavyweight Championship)
MATCH. 04: BLACK BLOODED vs ICONOGRAPHY vs MIXED EMOTIONS vs PANZER DIVISION
(JBW Tag-Team Championship Fatal-Fourway)
MATCH. 05: MIKE HAWK vs RONALDO ROMULUS
(JBW TV Championship)
MATCH. 06: ALI KAZAM vs ATHENA vs KJ PUNK
(JBW Intercontinental Championship Triple Threat)
MATCH. 07: SHURIKEN BLADE vs NIGHTWOLF
MATCH. 08: TDA vs ??
(JBW World Heavyweight Championship)
Pat: And coming up now, we have The Sandman vs Holy Jose to see who will be the one to go against the still silent TDA at FOR THE CAUSE!!
Dudley: That is one amazing card. Iâ€™m just saying.
Pat: It truly is Duds, and weâ€™re getting word that weâ€™re ready to go for the WARFare main event!!
MAIN EVENT: THE SANDMAN vs HOLY JOSE (#1 CONTENDER MATCH)
(The lights start flashing as the crowd is booing the man theyâ€™re getting ready to see. The stage starts to rise up and a man kneeling down with a hood covering his face is at the top of the ramp. He pulls off the hood and Holy Jose begins walking down to the ring to louder boos. With a cocky smirk on his face ignoring the fans. He makes his way into the ring and stands firm while awaiting The Sandman.)
(The lights go out to a pitch black, a gray light then goes over the arena as a low fog rolls out. The Sandman appears on stage with his eyes glowing through the fog in his gas mask. The yellow hue shines brightly in the grayness as he makes his way to the ring. The crowd is going insane as he comes over the top rope and sees Holy Jose in the middle of the ring not moving. The Sandman gets in his face as they mouth off back and forth.)
(The referee separates them and makes them go to their respective corners as he rings the bell, this match is on!)
[Begin @ 7:13 â€“ End @ 31:30]
(The Sandman=Undertaker/Holy Jose=Shawn Michaels)
Pat: I DONâ€™T BELIEVE THIS MATCH IS STILL GOING!!! Weâ€™re almost 30 minutes in and these two have obliterated each other!! Move after move theyâ€™ve countered one another.
(The Sandman smacks his hand on the mat and crawls over to Jose. He grabs him by the hair and Sandman gets to his knees trying to stand. Jose chops him across his chest and stumbles back. Sandman reels but regains his balance on his knees. He lunges forward to Jose and hits him with an elbow. Both men lose balance and Jose ends up on his back from the impact as Sandman falls forward.)
Dudley: This match has to be over soon. I canâ€™t think that freak Sandman has that much left in him.
Pat: It doesnâ€™t look like Jose can keep going much longer, I think youâ€™re right Duds. This is definitely ending soon.
(The Sandman grabs a nearby ring rope and uses it to stand himself up. Jose clearly is still knocked out by that elbow. Sandman leans back against the rope and moves forward, jumping up and hitting a leg drop. Jose is still down.)
Thâ€” ANOTHER KICK OUT!!
(The Sandman lies on the mat, out of breath and out of strength. He slowly gets up and gets Jose up too. He gets into boxing stance and punches Jose in the face. He stumbles into the ropes and shakes his head. He gets a mean look on his face and punches the Sandman back.)
(The Sandman blocks a fourth one and shoves Jose into the corner of the ring. He plants his elbow into the throat of Jose and the referee comes in and grabs him off. The Sandman is arguing with the ref as Jose goes to hit Sandman but hits the ref instead, knocking him out. The Sandman and Jose push each other back and forth. Sandman grabs Jose by the face and headbutts him to hell.)
Pat: DAMN!! Joseâ€™s face is bleeding like a stuffed pig after being hit with the end of that gas mask!
Dudley: Holy shit!!! I donâ€™t even know if anyone should let Jose continue! I think heâ€™s really injured!
(Blood is pouring from Joseâ€™s head as Sandman gets onto the middle rope and grabs Jose, pulling him onto the middle rope too. Sandman stands up and moves to the third rope, pulling Jose with him. He puts him into Piledriver position and ends up hitting a package piledriver off the top rope. The audience is chanting â€œHOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!â€ as The Sandman is on his knees with Jose completely knocked out. Both men are covered in blood as Sandman crawls over for the pin. A new referee rushes down and makes the countâ€¦)
(The Sandman falls off of Jose as the crowd is still going insane.)
Pat: I have absolutely no idea how the hell The Sandman pulled that off but my godâ€¦ heâ€™s the number one contender to the JBW World Heavyweight Championship!!
Dudley: What a match thatâ€™s going to be at FOR THE CAUSE!! I may not be a fan of The Sandman but that will tear the roof down!
Pat: You have to wonder what TDA is thinking and feeling at home.
(Just as he finishes his sentence, the lights go out and familiar music starts up.)
Pat: Itâ€™s TDA!! HEâ€™S HERE! HEâ€™S HERE!!
(The Sandman looks around as the lights are pulsing throughout the arena.)
Pat: Where is he?
Dudley: I donâ€™t know, Pat but we have to goâ€¦
Pat: Not now, where is he??
(The Sandman is getting on his feet as a silhouette appears on stage and the screen fades to the logo.)
WARFare (04) â€“ MAY 25TH, 2013
(Before the opening theme song plays, we see pictures of Sagittarius Blue holding the new United States Championship up high, Athena holding up the Intercontinental Championship, and Holy Jose holding up the new JBW Championship. All pictures have sound bytes from the PPV a well.)
(Then we see somber moments from TDA and glimpses of his career as â€œTHANK YOU TDA! THANK YOU TDA! THANK YOU TDA! Can be heard behind it as we fade away and into the theme song)
(We come into the arena as fireworks are going off and people are going crazy as the cameras pan around the audience and then finally settle in on Pat and Dudley who are just sitting down in their seats and putting on their headsets after waving at the people in attendance.)
Pat: Good evening folks and welcome to another edition of JBW WARFare!! We are coming to you LIVE from the Barclays Center in Bronx, New York!! We have one helluva show lined up for you after the completely epic Pay-Per-View, FOR THE CAUSE from last night! Sitting next to me like always is my frienemy, DUDLEY!
Dudley: Thanks for the intro Pat but I have to tell you, Iâ€™m less enthusiastic about the Pay-Per-View as you currently are. Artemis got screwed, Malcolm Cage shouldnâ€™t have won, KJ Punk should have and it just was not what I wanted at all.
Pat: Well Duds, it is what it is and it was what it was. A ton of news spiraling out of FOR THE CAUSE including a major announcement set for later tonight, Larry Zbysco still being in the hospital, the new concept Pay-Per-View, LUCK OF THE DRAW being explained and much, much more for sure but right now, Iâ€™m being told that the NEW JBW CHAMPION, Holy Jose has something he wants to talk about. And heâ€™s coming NOW!!
.JBW CHAMPION... HOLY JOSE!!
(The music starts playing and the lights go dark with smoke coming from the entrance the lights begin to flash. From under the smoke and the lights come back Holy Jose is seen standing at the entranceway, wearing his trademark white sleeveless trench coat and white wrestling tights, around his waist the JBW Championship and smiling wide. He makes his way down to the ring slapping hands with the fans who are chanting â€œYou deserve it! You deserve it! You deserve it!â€ Holy Jose enters the ring with a mic in hand and smiles wide.)
Holy Jose: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN I AM YOUR NEW JBW CHAMPION!!!!
Holy Jose: I must say wearing this belt means more to me than anything I have ever accomplished. I remember 2 years ago I became JBW Warfare Television Champion and a few months late JBW Warfare World Tag Team Champion thus becoming the first person to hold two championships at on time in JBW.
But, at FOR THE CAUSE I one up it. I am the first ever triple crown champion in JBW history. No one can claim that glory. It cements me in the history books with the likes of Psycho Siaki, Jman, our general manager St. Fucking George and TDA.
(Audience chants TDAâ€™s name.)
Holy Jose: TDA youâ€™ve been my mentor for these last two years since I began in SuperNOVA and now youâ€™ve taken your bow and I pick up where you left off. Letâ€™s get serious here now. Iâ€™ve worked my ass off for this championship. Overlooked for too damn long and I know I have a huge target on my back and all the boys in the back are taking aim.
I donâ€™t care who I have to face from now on but this championship is more than a belt to me. It symbolizes everything I sacrificed and put into this company and this business. No other place would I accept my first world title reign to be than JBW and now that I have it itâ€™ll have to take one tough son of a bitch to take it from me.
(â€œUncagedâ€ plays throughout the arena and the crowd goes wild. The New #1 Contender to the JBW Championship step on the stage and he seems to be in good spirits. Cage takes the same path to the ring as Jose, interacting with the fans as he makes his way to the ring.)
(Cage jumps up on to the apron and runs over to the ring post where he jumps up and embraces the cheers of the fans with arms open wide.After the cheers die down, Cage drops down with mic in hand as he is staring out at the audience from the corner of the ring.)
Cage: Well, well, well. It if isn't a little bit of Deja Vu. Here we are again Jose. You with a title, me with a chance for your title. It seems like only yesterday I was beating you for that TV title, the one that I held all the way until I became the first ever JBW TV Champion. I held that title for a long time, three times longer than you; but really, who is counting?
I came out here tonight to say something, not just to you Jose, but to these fans as well. I do want to say congratulations on winning your first JBW championship, but don't paint yourself like the good guy Jose.
(The audience that was once cheering for the two superstars has quieted down to a hush and whisper. Cage turns around and faces jose who is standing in the middle of the ring.)
Cage: You aren't the hero. You aren't the knight in shining armor that has come to bring JBW back to it's former glory. No, you are still a snake. You are still the guy who ran havoc here in JBW no more than three months ago. You are the one who beat down Shuriken in front of all these fans. You are the one who people hated.
Fans, don't think just for a second that Jose has changed. Management may have changed, the locker room may have some new faces, but you Jose, you... You have never changed. Youâ€™re a wolf in sheep's clothing. You are a snake in the grass. You may have a belt around your waste, but that doesn't change the man in the belt. You are still the same guy who sought harm to others, you are still the same guy who took out anyone in your way trying to do good.
(Murmurs are heard throughout the crowd as Cage continues.)
Cage: Open your eyes people. This man, this "champion" that stands before you is a shell. You view him how he wants you to see him. But he is far from grace and mercy. He is far from the savior of JBW. You maybe smiling on the outside, but I know who you really are. I know what you are capable of, and I will not sit idly by and watch you fool these people.
(The murmurs of the audience start to get a little louder. Cage starts to circle jose who is just standing still, his grip tightening on his Championship.)
Cage: You talk about sacrifice, you talk about being overlooked, you don't have room to talk on the matter. Quite frankly, someone like me would tell someone like you to go and FUCK YOURSELF with talk like that. You have had every opportunity given to you. You have had every chance in this company, while I have been fighting and clawing for everything I earned.
(Cage stops circling right in front of Jose. Cage chuckles before continuing on.)
Cage: I heard that you are looking for a tough son of a bitch to take the title away from you? Well guess what Jose? I'm here to fill that job opening. I'm here to take your title and take back a JBW that is in need of a face to cheer for, that is in need of a person to grab on to, to have faith in.
(Cage stares right into to Jose's eyes.)
Cage: I am that superstar. I am that man. I am that champion! You can gloat and march all you want, but history will repeat itself. You know it, I know it, and now everyone else knows it. History will show that I will be standing over you, once again, but this time as the JBW Champion!
Holy Jose: I get it Cage. I do. You donâ€™t trust me hell Iâ€™m out here surprised the fans even chanting my name but guess what they are! You talk about holding the TV Title 3 times longer than me. Tell me Cage how many defenses did you have? 2 or 3 TOPS I was out defending it every night and pulling double duty as Tag Team Champion as well.
(Audience is on the edge of their seat.)
Holy Jose: I am not saying I am some sort of saint. I am not saying I deserve these cheers. What I am saying is that the man you knew 3 months ago. The man who beat down Shuriken and then got his ass handed to him AGAIN for the third time by him that changes somebody. It made me think. I was always so close to the class ceiling but never truly ever being able to reach it.
(Holy Jose gets in Cageâ€™s face.)
Holy Jose: Want to know why you never got an opportunity in JBW? Itâ€™s because you never fought for it. While you were TV Champion and content with it I wasnâ€™t I wanted more. If becoming a conceited asshole was what I needed to do to even get NOTICED itâ€™s what I did. Iâ€™m far from perfect Cage I am but donâ€™t think for a second that I wasnâ€™t overlooked. In every other goddamn company we wrestled in you were the one they wanted to see.
You were the one given an opportunity while I was overlooked. So just because in JBW I did everything I could to get noticed I worked for it. I live and breathe JBW. This is my home and to be JBW Champion no one else but me deserves it more. I went up against the Sandman not once but TWICE each time almost DYING. So if I almost died to win the Championship you better believe me Cage I will die to keep it. You want to step up and be the man to try and take this title off of me then go right ahead!
(Holy Jose stares down Cage.)
Holy Jose: The only way history will ever repeat itself is if I let myself slide back into being the man I once was. Cage we go to war one last time and this time I am much more focused than before and after we fight there is absolutely no doubt that I will have my hand raised and the JBW Championship still around my waist.
(Malcolm and Jose stare each other down for a moment. Cage begins pointing at the JBW Championship and saying something. Jose responds and they begin talking back and forth as we go to commercial break.)
(As we come back from commercial break the camera pans around the darkened JBW locker room. With only a few things visible under the veil of darkness, it makes it hard for any of the viewers to get an idea on whatâ€¦or who is currently occupying the vacant space.)
(The camera rotates to the right slightly, a peak of light shines through the lens that obstructs vision. The momentary flash dies down as a lone spotlight is brought into focus. In the spotlight is a man under the familiar white cloak of Ronaldo Romulus. Heâ€™s on both knees, hands clasped together as he gazes up in the sky. The hood of the cloak conceals his face as he begins praying to God.)
Romulus: Lord God in heaven, creator of heaven and Earth, sovereign omnipotent Father, I beseech you. Your lowly and humble servant, Ronaldo Romulus, appeals to your everlasting mercy and grace to seek council with ye. Have I transgressed against you in any abominable manner? Havenâ€™t my thoughts been aligned with your will at all hours of the day?
Father, I have appraised my past actions, thoughts and disposition with studious and righteous intent and I have yet to find one violation. So whyâ€¦.WHY HAVE YOU ABAONDONED ME IN THIS MOST PRECIOUS HOUR?! HAVE I NOT KEPT YOUR COMMANDMENTS?! HAVE I NOT LET THE SERFS FEEL THE STING OF WHIP OF YOUR ALMIGHT CASTIGATION?! HAVE I NOT LED A MULTITUDE OF THESE INEBRIATED CADS INTO YOUR GOOD GRACES?
(Ronaldo flings himself onto the floor, the floor muffling his cries of anguish and despair. He continues to wallow in agony and self-pity until the spotlight begins to shine even brighter until Ronaldo is completely enveloped in a beam of bright, white light.)
Romulus: What? Iâ€¦I have not been unfaithful? I HAVE been in your favor?
(Ronaldo starts laughing at this new discovery, feeling that a weight has been lifted from his shoulders.)
Romulus: Ahhhhhh, yes! Now I fathom the reasoning to your methods. Forgive me for my ignorance, oh God andâ€¦..yes, yes! Posthaste! Yes, thank you!
(The light disperses until the room is pitch black again. From the abyss, the calculated laughing of Ronaldo Romulus echoes through the empty corridor.)
Romulus: Even a man such as myself can be deprived of the most elementary principles of triumph in periods of affliction. I am not only the chosen servant, an anointed vessel crafted to serve his will but I am the celestial phoenix that rises from infamy to destroy my enemies. But how can a phoenix resurrect if no ashes are present?
How can such a magnificent creature shape its legacy without tribulation? My God has delivered me into your hands, Mike Hawk, to assemble the final, grand stage in which I banish you and your presumptuous campaign to the realm of eternal flames! God does not forgive your wrongdoings nor will I cease relenting in my quest to acquire the JBW Television Championship as my own!
Does this darkness cause anxiety? Good! My influence will spread as a wildfire through that title. My dispatch will no longer be ridiculed or mocked and I will be ascended above humanity at the expense of JBTV! Prepare for permanent cancellation, ye maladroit glutton! Hahahahahahaha!
(The laughing gets softer and softer until it finally ends and we fade back to the arena with Dudley greeting us.)
Dudley: I was hoping all the freaks were gone from JBW too. That guys is crazy talented in the ring but also just as crazy as well.
Pat: I really donâ€™t know what he has planned after that but itâ€™s definitely something that weâ€™re not going to want to miss! I know thatâ€™s for sure. But, we are ready to go with our first match tonight! Athena is going to have her first Intercontinental Championship defense right here against a man that has caused he anguish over the last month in Ali Kazam. If she beats him here tonight, he cannot have another shot as long as sheâ€™s Champion.
Dudley: But, itâ€™s technically his first shot.
Pat: St. George doesnâ€™t feel that way. He basically said that this is his first, and only shot against her. He finds the actions of KJ Punk and himself to be a disgrace recently and this is pretty much his punishment.
Dudley: Another unfair assessment from our illustrious GM.
(Dudley rolls his eyes as Athenaâ€™s music begins blaring throughout the arena.)
(Athena comes out to massive cheers as she holds her JBW Intercontinental Belt proudly over her head. She then puts the belt over her shoulder, then smiles and flexes for the audience. The then makes her way down the ramp slapping hands with the fans. A little girl calls Athena over and flexes her puny muscles for Athena which brings a huge smile to Athena.)
(Athena hands the little girl her IC title and lets her parents take a few pictures with it. The father hands the IC belt back to Athena and thanks her. Athena then high fives the little girl, then continues to the ring. She jumps over the top and walks to the middle and again raises her belt proudly over her head to deafening cheers.)