Thom's Night of Champion Pay-Per-Review!
by, 09-16-2013 at 11:20 AM (4976 Views)
Hello once again guys. Before I start with the review of this year's Night of Champions event, allow me to apologise. Last month, I had every great intention of writing a review of the awesome Summerslam event.... but the problem with intentions is that life can sometimes get in the way. And when I mean life, I mean alcohol in very large doses. I can barely remember what happened that night as I was totally steaming, followed up by one of the most hardcore hangovers I have ever had. It made me envious of CM Punk's straight edge lifestyle!
I tried soon after to write up a late review, like I did for Money in the Bank, but again, life got in the way in terms I cannot even start to get into. Anyways, for the time being, I am back to deliver my pointless opinion (Come on, admit it, you missed me!) and sorry for missing out recently.
Now that that's out of the way, ON WITH THE SHOW!
Pre-Show: Tag Team Turmoil
It's been sooooo long since I last saw one of these matches that I was genuinely excited for a pre-show for the first time ever. Such a shame then that I live in a community with the slowest, most irritating internet connection speeds ever... fuck BT.
Never mind, I knew that the Prime Time Players were going to win because, let's face it, why wouldn't you start pushing a guy like Darren Young when he's appearing on shows like Ellen! It's smart business.
I would just like to take this time to say that Darren Young has been very bold in his choice to reveal his sexuality and deserves a lot of respect.
You know, I did start to wonder why the IC title wasn't on the line on a night where all the titles were supposed to be on the line....
Intercontinental Title match: Curtis Axel def. Kofi Kingston
So... yeah. This. I'm sorry if you think otherwise, but Kofi Kingston isn't that great. He's a great performer, don't get me wrong. It's just that whenever he holds a title, there seems to be this utter lack of buzz, almost like he's got little charisma. I don't know, maybe it's just me. He seems to be popular, but I'm not drinking the Kool-Aid here. Good thing to see Axel retain (Seriously, I'm a fan). Some ok spots I guess, but I wasn't really enjoying this at any point.
Divas Title Fatal 4-way Match: AJ Lee retains
Loved the build-up for this. LOVED IT. WWE have totally taken a piss all over kayfabe with "Total Divas" and turned the Divas division into an even-bigger joke than it was before (I know, I didn't think it was possible too). But then, a glimmer of hope, AJ Lee slating the whole idea of these women being Reality TV Stars. Yes, thank you God!
So, imagine my disappointment at the worst Fatal 4-Way Match of all-time. Personally, I blame the competition. Naomi??? Brie Bella??? Pfffft. Please!
Being a glorified dancer or model doesn't mean you can wrestle in a ring. AJ Lee and Natalya have some talent, the others seem to lack it. Let's re-write the Book of the Divas and turn to a new Paige.
World Heavyweight Title Match: Alberto Del Rio def. Rob Van Dam
Not the best match of the night, but certainly not the worst. I'm just tired of the same-old stuff from Del Rio. There's nothing new or exciting about him and he grates on me a little. At least when he had Ricardo in his corner, he had a bit of an edge. Now, he's nothing. No more expensive cars, no more personal ring announcers, just a tired offence and bookers that don't have many options to turn to.
Van Dam pulled out some standard moves, but at least his set is exciting. I love watching RVD and that Coast-to-Coast was a great idea. Hopefully, Damien Sandow will cash in MITB soon and kick-start some much needed momentum in the WHC.
The Miz def. Fandango
No... not doing it. This is just horse shit.
This is idle Monday Night Raw at best, not PPV. This time could've gone to The Wyatt Family, who would've made the most of the air-time.
No DQ Handicap Elimination Match (Which is the longest title of a match ever)
Curtis Axel & Paul Heyman def. CM Punk
Well, that was bound to happen.
The build-up was perfect, even though I was dubious of having Axel wrestle twice in one night. Lot of scores to settle, etc etc. The first few minutes were awesome, especially Punk's suicide dive onto Heyman, followed by a How-do-you-do Stetson nod to JBL. It's the little things about CM Punk that make me love him. And, after some to-ing and fro-ing, we got what we all wanted. Punk Vs Heyman... lovely. I actually thought that Punk wouldn't be able to get his hands on Heyman before someone entered the ring and ruined it all, so I was pleasantly surprised to see some actual damage being done to the former ECW Mastermind. But.... Ryback? Really? I thought Punk Vs Ryback was soooo 2012, but they've dug it out again. I am wondering how Ryback will work with Heyman, and also how Heyman will work with Axel after Curtis let Paul down.
United States Title match: Dean Ambrose def. Dolph Ziggler
This one should have match of the night written all over it. These 2 are the best sellers in the business and can take bumps like nobody else. There were some awesome moments, no doubt, especially having Ziggler almost win, only for Ambrose's hand to find the bottom rope.
The question I have is this: What the hell happened to Ziggler's momentum and push?
Not too long ago, he was the saviour of the World Heavyweight Title and now he's relegated to losing out on the United States Championship (again!)? No, this isn't right. He was finally making a name for himself, he was going places.... This Company.....
Tag Team Title match: The Shield def. The Prime Time Players
Honestly, I saw PTP winning this one, but... yeah, Believe in The Shield.
Pretty standard match by all accounts, I'm expecting a Triple Threat Tag match at Battleground between these 4 & The Usos, which would be one hell of a contest!
WWE Title match: Daniel Bryan def. Randy Orton
Wow, did not have this one sussed. I am totally blown away. I truly believed that the WWE would have Orton hang onto the title until Royal Rumble, where Cena would come back and reclaim it, but this? No way, didn't predict it at all.
This was just testament to the hard work of Daniel Bryan. I've been a fan of his since his days in Ring of Honour and got really psyched when I first saw him competing in NXT. It's been a bit of a slow build, with some rocky roads along the way, but he's deserved the success he's gained. He's the No.1 guy in the business and deserves his title... except... for that fast count.
Scott Armstrong, your days are numbered. Expect a similar situation to where Earl Hebner was forced to reverse a decision whereby his fast counting lead to Triple H losing the WWF Title to Chris Jericho. History has an annoying knack of repeating itself in Pro-Wrestling...
Anyway, it's time to calculate our winners and losers for Night of Champions 2013!
WINNERS & LOSERS
Winner: CM Punk
He finally got his hands on Paul Heyman, and although it was short-lived, it was merely the start. He now also has a reasonable feud lined up with Ryback to keep both men busy
Loser: Dolph Ziggler
As I explained earlier, Ziggler should be competing for the WHC, not the US Title. He needs something big to boost his stock in WWE or could find himself on the same heap as Zack Ryder (The Horror!!!)
Winner: Summer Rae
In the middle of the Miz - Fandango match, it was Summer Rae who was getting the chants... which leads to...
Loser: The Miz & Fandango
You know your match is a dud when the fans are happier to cheer for the valet than the guys in the ring...
Winner: Daniel Bryan
Loser: Every Diva in the locker room
It's a new-low ladies. Check out the 5 Fems in the "Best Divas Champion Ever" poll and realise the lengths you need to go to in order to gain some respect.
Sting gets named best US Champion, Hulk Hogan crowned best WWE Champion... Yeah.... that happened.
Loser: Big Show
Used very highly over the last few weeks, not even seen or heard from the entire PPV... Not even good enough for Kick-Off Panel... what a drag.
Well, that's all from me folks. As always, comments are appreciated so don't be afraid to speak your mind. Next time, we've got new ground to tread in WWE Battleground (which could do a tie-in with a re-issue of the WWE Warzone game) so I will (hopefully) see you then.