Random Thoughts Free Per View Extravaganza: Hardcore Justice
by, 08-19-2013 at 03:26 PM (2286 Views)
Well, running late with this blog. Personally I was thinking about passing a blog on this show over, but it is the Free Per View spectacle that is Hardcore Justice. Will it be a spectacle, or just a standard Impact Wrestling episode? We’ll soon find out. In recent years anything Hardcore that I have watched has involved Asians on the internet, so this will be a new experience for me. So let’s get this started. Who would be foolish enough to write a blog on a show already four days old and a day after the competitor’s big Pay Per View?
The Free Per View Extravaganza: Hardcore Justice!
Now Jeff, Austin, you two will have plenty of time to smash each other skulls in with a ladder later. Now go to the corner and think about what you done.
He’ll take this win shaken, not stirred
Great way to start off this Free-Per-View extravaganza. It’s the 20 point BFG ladder match. Kazarian tries to go for the win early, running out the ring to grab a ladder that can be used to climb up and grab the clipboard with a white sheet of paper with the TNA logo and a big number 20 on it. But he forgot there’s three other men in the ring he still needs to fight.
Just a great match. All the classic spots are here. The two wrestlers on the ladder trying to reach the clipboard but they shake the ladder uncontrollably causing it to topple over spot. The throwing someone into the ladder in a corner spot. The flip powerbomb thing Austin Aries did on Jeff Hardy while they were on the ladder spot. The throwing the appletini in a wrestler’s face spot...
Yep, probably shouldn’t surprise anyone that Roode and Daniels come out. The intimidation factor quickly tanked with Christopher Daniels walking out with his appletini, but it would be instrumental as it would be sneaked to Kazarian while the ref isn’t looking (wait...you can be DQ’ed in this ladder match?) to be used by throwing in Jeff Hardy’s face as he’s climbing up, giving Kazarian the chance he needs for the win and the much needed 20 points.
Sabin remembers the good ol’ times of watching Bully throw someone into a flaming table full of thumbtacks.
Yea...that’s one way to instill confidence in yourself tonight.
A get better soon message from Dixie and friends to Kurt
This was honestly a nice thing to do. Really, it is. TNA clearly likes Angle and just want the best for him. And this is in no way whatsoever a setup for some storyline angle. They would never do anything that tasteless. This is just Dixie and Angle’s friends, who just so happen to be with the Main Event Mafia, just wishing Angle the best. They are not in any way using Angle’s situation as a setup for...the punchline is Aces and Eights.
Could be worse. Could be using a recently dead individual to help hype a wrestling match, but who would ever do anything that tasteless...regardless of whether or not they got the family’s permission it’s still pretty damn tasteless, afterall they did go to the son first if they could use his dead father in a storyline and not the other way around. No one would do anything that despicable because their minds are creatively dead...okay, I’ll stop now.
So Aces comes out, and Mr. Anderson reminds the mafia that they are one man short, shooting down the rumor that Aces can’t count. Magnus then speaks and something becomes painfully obvious...the man should never speak. He is a great wrestler, but for people that have incredible wrestling skills and speech skill that would make the dead...ummm...deader...we got a solution for them. It’s called managers. Yea, you know, those non-wrestling people that come out with wrestlers. They actually have a point. Many points actually, but one main point is to keep a man that clearly cannot speak quiet by doing most of the talking for him. Don’t you miss those people.
Mr. Anderson counts again, and realizes that they outnumber the Mafia, and attack. They take the advantage and come out on top in their latest confrontation with the Mafia.
Not the kind of Asian and Hardcore I was talking about earlier...but I’ll take it
So we have a NON-TITLE (wish they would make that clear) triple threat hardcore knockouts match between Gail Kim, Mickie James, and....give me a moment to shudder...ODB.
Now, a few blogs ago I mentioned that the Knockouts are better skilled than the Divas. Someone commented that this isn’t the case, it’s just that the Knockouts are showcased better. Although I’m not sure if I agree with his...disagreeing of my point...I do admit that the Knockouts get a little more respect than the Divas on television.
And it’s a decent, entertaining match. These ladies are skilled, talented, and clearly can...oh my god! Gail Kim’s wrestling shorts are see-through!
Screw it, she’s Asian and this is Hardcore...I’ll count this as Hardcore Asian.
So ODB takes her bra out...and now I must stab my eyeballs out...and uses as a weapon. Pretty damn inhumane, but she does come out with the victory nonetheless...one boobless bra hanging out and all.
Not feeling so bad ass now
Everything is ruined by Sting not being in his face paint. Content wise, they’re pissing their pants and Sting attempts to recruit Austin Aries for next weeks match in which the wrestler that gets pinned will be forced to retire. Of course the Austin Aries we all know would tell Sting to screw off...but I think the script will force him to do a 180 in his character.
Roode’s plan coming together
Face it, he’s a genius. And still has a chance to claw into second in BFG himself.
Hey, Aries didn’t get the script
Cause he said no. Why now what sensible person would turn down the opportunity to team up with a group of people he didn’t like to fight in a match along side them that could end his career? Stupid Aries. Rampage Jackson seems to have had enough of his limited role and heads out to the ring with Samoa Joe foll...OH NO! Tito’s gonna be in the match, isn’t he!!!
Why use Brooke in an angle if you released her?
That makes the following segment with Bully...entirely pointless.
Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!
So in the seventh straight non-wrestling segment (yea, would like to see a real PPV get away with that) Rampage Jackson predictably calls out Tito Ortiz to ask him to join Main Event Mafia. But Tito doesn’t get the chance to answer as Bully Ray comes out to interrupt everything. One Huntington Bitch comment later, and Tito is furious, but never gives an answer. I’m pretty sure we can all assume that Tito is in next week’s match.
And now, for me to weep.
By the grace of god almighty, we finally have another match
Not just any match, but a match...with wrestlers. And Tables...ooo.
And it’s good. Very good. Any match that has another man’s balls getting rung with a bell and hammer has my stamp of approval on it. This would end up being a good night for Roode and company as he wins the table’s match with the assist from Daniels’ and his Appletini. Unfortunately we were deprived a comedic moment of watching Daniels do a girly skip step run with the Appletini, trying not to spill it. *sigh*
Can someone throw a bucket of paint on Sting’s face?
And don’t forget to plug the Bellator MMA PPV.
A rift between the Prez and VP?
Perhaps. But a third party is also revealed by Mr. Anderson...the Fairy Godmother!
So the Steel cage match is next. I wonder if it’ll be good.
Make it stop...please make it stop. Although to Sabin’s credit, he does show offense in the last five minutes or so of the match, the first X amount of minutes is pretty much the same old crap that we’ve seen the last two matches, except this time there’s a steel structure for Bully to toss Sabin into like a rag doll.
Also Sabin is getting the Cena treatment from the crowd...and rightfully so. Although I don’t think his personality is anywhere as annoying as Cena’s, the fact is he’s been lackluster as a World Champ. This has not been a good run for Sabin, and I have to wonder if there will be a second run for him.
The ending was good, but at the same time crap. The ending involves Mr. Anderson keeping Sabin from escaping the cage, only to have Rampage Jackson and Tito Ortiz to come and assist Sabin...or so we think! Tito nails Rampage with a hammer, Bully nail Sabin with the Bully Bomb, and unless the Mafia wants to give Angle some Jesus Juice to perk him up, they are still a man short for next week.
Great finish with Tito using the hammer...crap ending for using Tito.
Eh...I just don’t know. You can slap the name Pay-Per-View on just about anything...but did it feel like one? Not really. We had big matches, yes, but also a lot of BS in between. Seven, seven consecutive non-wrestling segments. Name me a PPV that does that. Also, minor complaint, but where was the blood? It’s not that it’s necessary, but they made sure they emphasized it right before the parental warning, so the fact that none was spilled kinda feels like false advertising there. And I know I’m gonna get sick of the constant advertising for the November Bellator PPV. God damn it, the two shouldn’t be mixing. In the end...it could’ve been better, but mostly every match was top notch, the show itself just didn’t have a PPV feel to it. And a PPV always hinges on the main event, which was sub par at best.
Three and a half more bras left in ODB’s arsenal...out of five.