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ejorbit

Homophobia in the Wrestling Community 2: Enter Darren Young

Rating: 6 votes, 2.67 average.
Prelude:

Those who read my original “Homophobia in the Wrestling Community” blog a couple weeks back are aware that I left the door open to write one or more follow up pieces down the line. While I feel discrimination is in important issue in all walks of life, I wasn’t necessarily interested in making it the core theme for successive entries. So I wrote a blog about blood in wrestling and had a couple other ideas I was ready to flesh out when the Darren Young story broke. I wasn’t planning on writing a part 2 so soon but if now’s not an appropriate time, when is?

“Why do gay people feel they need to announce to the world they f**k men? I don't go around to the world and feel its necessary to tell everyone I f**k women. Seems to me the only people I see with the whole "I'm gay hang up" are gay people. You are running around labeling yourself. Personally I don't care if your gay. Its a big whoop-tee-doo and good for you. I honestly don't care where you put your private part or what you put in them.

Someday I hope gay people wake up and realize we just really don't care if you're gay or not and announcing it is your hang up not ours and personally I'm kind of sick of you guys trying to make some big flipping deal out of it.

Get over it. The shock value has been dead for years
.”
-Ewrestlingnews user El Dandy

Fun fact about the United States: Same sex marriage has been legalized in only 13 of 50 states.

Fun fact about Darren Young: He didn’t “feel the need” to announce to the world he was gay. He was asked a question and he answered it. He didn’t make a big deal, he didn’t grandstand. He said he piece and went on his way.

I have a hard time writing about an issue like homophobia because I know it’s a battle I can’t win. It’s the right of the people around me to believe what they choose and as much as I might vehemently disagree, it’s not my place to judge. But damn it if quotes like the one written above don’t piss me off.

Let me start by saying this, it’s not a big deal that Darren Young’s gay. I mean this in the sense that there are millions (yes, millions) of gay people who walk the earth. Yes, he’s part of a minority group, but that group isn’t as small and as oppressed as it once was.

BUT, it is a big deal that Darren Young was able to come out and proclaim himself as being gay in an industry that his been historically male dominated, macho, and homophobic.

Let me ask El Dandy and all those who share his mind set a question; let’s say you’re out at a bar, café, wherever and you see another guy who’s maybe wearing a hat that supports your favorite sports team. You’re like hey, “go Bears (or whatever)” and you strike up a conversation. There’s nothing provocative or anything like that, just shooting the shit. Then the guy’s boyfriend comes over and grabs his hand, gives him a hug, or whatever. What’s the first thing that pops into your head? I know for a fact that there are plenty of people who would think “cool, whatever” and it wouldn’t matter. I also know there are just as many if not more people who would recoil in disgust and regret that the prior conversation had even taken place.

Don’t you think Darren Young understands the stigma he has to fight against? He’s a wrestler. He walks out onto a stage in trunks and grapples with another guy in trunks. Do you see why he might have been worried about coming out before now? Again, it’s not about making a grand statement. It’s not about saying “LOOK AT ME, I’M GAY!” It’s about being able to be yourself and live your life without fear of repercussions.

“I don't go around to the world and feel its necessary to tell everyone I f**k women.” First of all, I‘m pretty sure you just did. Now, let me say, this drives me crazy. I know it may seem like I’m picking on El Dandy, but his post just covered so many bases. Have you ever heard of a father disowning his son because he loved women? I know some fathers have hated some specific choices, but have they ever had a problem with their sons loving women in general? Probably not. But what if the son in question was attracted to men? See how there’s a difference there. Most gay people don’t “announce” they’re gay. They don’t stand on a podium and air it on youtube. They think “dear god, please let this go well,” and tell select members of their friends and family before fully making it their life style.

“Seems to me the only people I see with the whole ‘I'm gay hang up’ are gay people.” Again, 37 states ban same sex marriage. I’d say plenty of straight people are hung up on the issue. I don’t know if you know this, but there are 300,000,000 people who occupy the US alone and 299,999,999 aren’t you so I’d say you should stop thinking you know the entire straight/gay population.

I’ll wrap this up soon but I have one last thing to cover….

“You can already hear the lgbt community scream discrimination if he doesn't get a push now.”
-Ewrestlingnews user pgarcia79

The irony is thick with this one. Pgarcia79 has taken it upon himself, as an apparent representative of the straight community, to fire a shot at the gay community for…. Well…. Wait, what? I don’t get it. People see what’s wrong here, right? It’s not just me. First of all, you realize the LGBT community is just that, it’s a community. It’s not a fucking hive-mind (language, sorry). It’s not like millions of gay people will wake up tomorrow and think, “no push for Darren Young, OUTRAGOUS!” Will some people get upset about his positioning in the company? Sure. But all sorts of people get upset about all sorts of things all the time. In fact, right now you appear to be upset with the LGBT community for something that hasn’t even happened.

UGGGGGGGG.

Ok, I’m done.

Thanks for reading.

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Updated 08-17-2013 at 02:39 PM by ejorbit

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  1. jalsbury77's Avatar
    So you dedicate an entire blog to a comment about "not caring" if Darren Young is gay. Why should any of us care? Good for Darren. I wish him all the best. All Darren has done is promote himself by coming out to society. Business wise, it's a smart move. WWE can now easily plug him into more anti-bullying rallies. It still doesn't mean that all of us should care. The shock value in homosexuality is gone. It has been gone for years. Not caring doesn't make us homophobes. I can only speak for myself when I say this but I generally just don't care how Darren lives his life. You throw around some cute little figures about states rights and theoretical gay friends just to disguise the whole point of the matter here. If someone commenting that he doesn't care pisses you off that much then maybe you should consider spending your blog time on a shrinks couch. It's not "El Dandy" that needs help...it's you for not accepting his opinion.
  2. RobVelcoff's Avatar
    You know of course that I loved this blog, considering that I have two family members (one immediate, one cousin) who are gay. jalsbury77 misses the point. Of course you're not supposed to care that Darren Young is gay. No one outside of his immediate friends and family should care. The unfortunate thing it, many people do care in the negative. jasbury77, the world would be a better place if nobody cared that Young was gay. But as long as there are huge numbers of homophobes and haters out there, then we need to care that gays get equal rights. No more, no less, just equal. It's not that you should care whether he is gay or straight. But all good people should care when other good people are treated badly, or even unequally. Do you care that Young is black? Hopefully not. While there is still racial discrimination in this country, there is more sexual orientation discrimination than racial discrimination (according to what I have read online from black gays). The point I am trying to make is that you shouldn't care whether he's gay. But you should care that he is treated in a fair and equal manner to everyone else. Until this happens (and we're VERY far away from that happening), that's what we should care about: non-discrimination against gays, not their being gay in and of itself.

    Keep pushing this topic, ejorbit. Until people fully understand what we're fighting against (not "for" gays, but "against" discrimination and hatred), then it's a fight we can't give up on. Great job. Thanx. Rob
  3. ejorbit's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by jalsbury77
    So you dedicate an entire blog to a comment about "not caring" if Darren Young is gay. Why should any of us care? Good for Darren. I wish him all the best. All Darren has done is promote himself by coming out to society. Business wise, it's a smart move. WWE can now easily plug him into more anti-bullying rallies. It still doesn't mean that all of us should care. The shock value in homosexuality is gone. It has been gone for years. Not caring doesn't make us homophobes. I can only speak for myself when I say this but I generally just don't care how Darren lives his life. You throw around some cute little figures about states rights and theoretical gay friends just to disguise the whole point of the matter here. If someone commenting that he doesn't care pisses you off that much then maybe you should consider spending your blog time on a shrinks couch. It's not "El Dandy" that needs help...it's you for not accepting his opinion.
    That's your opinion I suppose on how you choose to read into his comments and how you choose to read into my reaction.

    I don't mind the "I don't care" reaction to someone coming out. It fact, I'm 100% fine with it. It's not what he said but how he chose to say it. He started by saying he's not homophobic then took numerous shots at the gay community for things that didn't happen. I break down the entire comment so there's not much point for me to just restate my opinion. But since I'm already writing this....

    "Why do gay people feel they need to announce to the world they f**k men?" Darren Young was asked a question, he answered it. Doesn't sound like a coming out spectacle to me. It's the media and media consumers, BOTH gay and straight, that turned it into a big deal.

    Seems to me the only people I see with the whole "I'm gay hang up" are gay people."'
    Factually not true if you've been anywhere in this country. I don't know you personally. Maybe you're a world traveler, maybe you're a shut in, it's not for me to say. I've been to 30 states and been overseas.... so yeah.

    "Get over it. The shock value has been dead for years.” No one comes out for shock value, they come out cause it's their lives.

    "Someday I hope gay people wake up and realize we just really don't care if you're gay or not and announcing it is your hang up not ours...."
    Again, if no one cared, we'd live in a much different world. The original Darren Young story got 467 comments on this site alone. If I had to guess, I'd say 90% of those were from straight people who obviously care enough to leave a comment positive or negative.
    Updated 08-17-2013 at 01:49 PM by ejorbit
  4. Kajmere's Avatar
    The whole 'who cares if they are gay' argument is invalid. That's like a white guy in 1960 saying, 'who cares if they are black, it doesn't bother me'. But guess what, civil rights issues were huge in shaping this country, they need attention, and they need news stories such as the D Young story to progress society, desensitize bigots, and get the message through to those f--- faces in Congress. (steps off soap box)
    Updated 08-17-2013 at 12:57 PM by Kajmere
  5. THE_CRIPPLER's Avatar
    I hate all the dumb comments about how brave " Darren Young" is for admitting he is gay. Brave? Brave? Darren Young has 90% of the support of the WWE locker room with HHH, Stephanie, John Cena and CM Punk all supporting him. If I go on right now and make a comment how Darren Young is a terrible in ring performer and should be fired people would wanna tie me to a tree and set me on fire but if I said it 2 weeks ago everyone would agree (Not that im saying he is terrible and needs to be fired just a example).

    From what I understand, Darren Young was considered a lost cause in the WWE and the Prime Time Players were gonna split and Titus was gonna get a huge push while Young was gonna be given his walking papers. Now it looks like Darren Young has a Job for Life in the WWE..... If Darren Young to put puppies in a blender and murders Vince McMahon's Grand children and if Vince McMahon even thinks of firing him then everyone from the Gay community and Wrestling community will be crying foul play and WWE is Homophobic.

    People are so sensitive when it comes to Race and Sexuality. As a matter of fact when it comes to anything. Some one I know was watching a Real House Wife's Reunion on Bravo and they played a clip of a family laughing and talking together and some one called the 17 year old girl a "Dictator" so she said "Whats a Dictator" then the mother said " You are so stupid" then everyone laughed. Bravo said that they were flooded with e-mails and calls complaining about the woman saying to her daughter she is so stupid.... It has come to the point that you cant say anything without offending a group of people, You cant even say Merry Christmas without people jumping down your throat. That is how Ridicules it has become.
    Updated 08-17-2013 at 04:07 PM by THE_CRIPPLER
  6. HuGrad's Avatar
    My background on the subject is I am straight, but I have a few friends who are gay and I am totally okay with it. I do want to comment on a part written by the author ejorbit.

    Ejorbit, thank you for taking the time to write this post, as it has added extra value to the already volatile subject matter involving men who pronounce themselves as gay. From the reading, ejorbit openly acknowledged El Dandy's comments without issue. however, El Dandy's comments were a compilation of an opinion that was disrespectful to other opinion. The article was based on a quote that "it is a big deal that Darren Young was able to come out and proclaim himself as being gay in an industry that his been historically male dominated, macho, and homophobic. "
    I read El Dandy's comments a couple of times. His opinion shows how unknowledgeable he actually is to make such random comments, and I say random because they came at different angles. Also, his opinion was foul and offensive to a degree. To El Dandy, How can you say " Get over it....the shock value has been dead for years" when there are many valid reasons that a person comes out and declares his sexuality to the public. Are u that ignorant to the point that these people are gay are always fighting an internal conflict along with worrying about how the public will receive them? It isnt just about sticking something in something else of a man, its also about the jokes you say, the places you agree to go to, the people you decide to hang out with on a given day, the vocabulary u use, the clients you interact with, hire and work for and so forth. I can honestly say that there is hardly any shock value being sought out when u are under pressure to connect with family and peers and when u want to make sure that people who are around u can accept u for what u r about after sharing something so personal. Do u think there is a disconnect when u hang out with someone for a good 5 months, and the minute u find that he is gay, u never say WHAT S UP, chat, go to the ball game or even communicate with that person again?

    In the case of a ball player who gets caught with a guy, and his woman finds out, for the public to find out that way is somewhat embarassing. Now the guy has to defend himself and say he is gay to begin with. Im pretty sure this situation has happened a few times, but for reasons like this and having homophobic family members, these kinds of announcements are important to protect the interests of both the guy who comes out and his peers. I agree this is a topic where opinions get heated like eggs on a skillet, but El Dandy was sooooooo 100% wrong in this one. There is no way that ejorbit should have been attacked by a fellow user who totally alienates the just cause for the article being written.it is a big deal that Darren Young was able to come out and proclaim himself as being gay in an industry that his been historically male dominated, macho, and homophobic.
  7. jalsbury77's Avatar
    Some time back, the WWE wrote the Chamber of Commerce in my state with notification that they would reconsider doing business here if we voted no on the same sex marriage referendum. The letter was published in every newspaper state wide. We ultimately voted no and true to their word, the WWE ceased visiting here. Talk about a anti-bullying campaign, huh?
    Of course they came back not long after. Business is business after all. The arena appeared to be a bomb scare with the few people that actually showed. The WWE has been pushing this hug the world mentality but yet holds the proverbial gun to heads of many and uses coercion to advance their strategy. CM Punk even called out my state, so did Stephanie McMahon and did so before we even voted. Do you think any of us appreciated the words that those two attached to our state and every individual in this state?

    Darren came out publicly to someone with a camera. Does anyone seriously not think this was planned from the start. All of a sudden he's doing interviews, everyone is bouncing around his name on Twitter and the WWE has already sent me two e-mails with links about Darren's revelation. He's a celebrity and that business is all about being relevant. For once, Darren is actually relevant so it obviously worked. As I said before, good for Darren. I wish him the best and wherever his life goes. I actually think he has ring talent and with the right push, could actually go far. I just don't care to have his coming out shoved down my throat by CNN, NBC, the WWE and others. There is no shock. He wants a shock I'm sure and the WWE is promoting the hell out of him but that's the way business works.

    In the end, I liked Ejorbit's first blog. It had some great points. His second one however, was pointless, only concerning one person's opinion. I only called him out on it and fairly so. I didn't miss the point of the blog at all. I just don't see the purpose of a blogger calling out a single person and stating that he was pissed. It's very cowardly actually. It's sort of like using Twitter to send profanities to someone that you don't even know. There's really no point.

    Most of society just doesn't care or are sick of celebrities shouting to the world that he/she is gay. That's not bigotry. We get it. The majority of us accept his/her lifestyle choice. Twenty years ago, such would be shocking but society has come more accustomed to it. Crying bigotry and prejudice never works with anyone who is actually informed in life. Who isn't profiled, hated or pigeonholed everyday? I'm a white southern conservative male so the media and politicians alike just love to toss insults my way consistently. That door swings both ways.
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