Random Thoughts: August 1st Mystery Revealed...sadly.
by, 08-01-2013 at 10:41 PM (8193 Views)
So this is it. August 1st has arrived. The big August 1st mystery shall be revealed tonight. MY problem with it...I really don’t care. I expect to be disappointed by this surprise. I haven’t been following the hype. I’m more so interested in Sabin/Bully build up which I’m sure will take a backseat to this crap tonight. But hey, maybe TNA will completely wow me tonight.
You see, already I’m getting overconfident.
Taz a victim of TNA budget cuts
Na na na na...Na na na na...heyyyyyy...you always sucked.
More August 1st Hype
This surprise better not suck...and we better not have to wait an hour and fifty-five minutes for the freakin surprise!
Phenomenal One divides by the Denominator of Greatness = Awesome!!!
Aries comes out to a huge pop, to hype his match against AJ Styles tonight. Now that’s what I’m excited about. He congratulates Sabin, and warns him to watch out (no one can ever congratulate a champion without getting their own two cents in). Roode comes out to cry about his crappy year that started at last year’s Destination X, and promises to start being Rude again...I mean Roode. I don’t know, maybe he’ll start undertipping again. And we have no time to waste, as his opponent is on the way to the ring
Hernandez vs Rood...ouch
Damn, cheap shot by Roode. That was rude of him...hey, I get it now! For the most part, Roode is dominating Hernandez. But Hernandez just won’t stay down, which causes Roode to snap and start throwing chairs into the ring. And I personally think the referee is taking it pretty close letting these chairs fly about an inch away from him. As the ref starts clearing the chairs out, Roode hit Hernandez with a beer bottle (would’ve been funny if it was a Corona bottle) and pins for the three count. Afterwards, the always observant ref looks around like a moron, questioning Roode about the glass, but still raises his hand for the victory.
Angle promises to make an offer Ace’s can’t refuse
But...what was that offer Ace’s made to Angle that he couldn’t refuse? That was never addressed. I’m especially curious about since...he obviously accepted the freakin offer!!! Any clarification? Closure? Anything!?
ODB Bouncing to get ready for her match
Joseph Park has a match too
His...mere existence is just disturbing. And supposedly the Brawny man has a solution for him.
Meeting of Champs
Sabin congratulates Manik...who talks without his mask. That just ruins it for me. Sabin acts like a tough guy when telling Manik to bring his best to the ring tonight. Sabin, don’t act like a tough guy. Just doesn’t work for ya.
White Hummer Limo arrives
Again, we better not be waiting till 10:55, I swear to god.
Battle of the Gutter Trash: Bradley vs Park
So this brilliant idea for Park is revealed. Protective Headgear!
...is that even legal...in fake wrestling?
It seems to do very little to help Park though, as he has his ass handed to him most of the match. But the fans get behind him. Why they get behind this four eyes prick is beyond me. But uh-oh...Park loses his headgear!!! And it does absolutely nothing to help Bradley as Park picks up the win moments later. Umm, what was the point of him losing the headgear?
Someone get Sting his prozac
Or...at least get him high. When he’s overly excited without his face paint he’s scary...for some reason. Oh, and apparently they’re going to make some sort of sacrifice. Hopefully it’s Rampage Jackson. I mean...why is he here!?
Champion vs Champion
This was one hell of a match. Entertaining as hell. Fluid, high flying, just freakin fun...but then...
What a Bully!
Bully Ray comes in to rain down on Sabin’s parade. But Sabin displays more offensive effort in ten seconds than he did in his entire match match against Bully, forcing Bully to retreat.
Oh God, Taz is still here
And reveals to us that...August 1 warning does indeed suck. Gold star for you, Taz.
Uh Oh, Daniels and Kazarian have to face each other next week
Ooo, I smell metrosexual cat fight!
Oh God...get some clothes on ODB!
But to her and Gail Kim’s credit, it was a good match. Ended in a double count out, so these two will be meeting down the road again.
Uh Oh, AJ Styles is Emo’ing it up
Must mean it’s game time.
Mr. August 1st still taunting very cryptically
I wonder, wouldn’t it have sucked if his parents had named him February 29th instead?
Yea, screw you all.
Uh oh...Wifey has Bully by the Ballys
...That’s it. I just wanted to type that.
This match should’ve blown the BFG time limit rule
But who cares. Excellent match. Only thing is the ending. Don’t know, wasn’t crazy about the arm barely draped on AJ pin, but whatever. That’s a minor complaint.
They really did it. They kept us waiting till 10 f’n 55!
Actually, they kept us waiting till 11:00 pm. 11 f’n pm. Whatever. First, the Main Event Mafia makes the offer that Aces and Eights couldn’t refuse. A five on five match in which whoever gets pinned has to leave TNA.
So this is how Devon plans to end his career.
Aces and Main Event get into a fight. Mr. Anderson accepts. And then...and finally then...we get the man who is Mr. August 1st. And that man...is Tito Ortiz.
Screw it...I’m grumpy cat-ing this bitch
Again, we cannot find a balance between good matches and good storylines. The storylines just seemingly has to suck. The retirement match surprise seems underwhelming considering there’s three wrestlers in that match that should retire. And then Tito Ortiz...Tito Ortiz!? The crowd was dead, I mean dead when this man showed up. I think most of them was trying to remember just who he was. Hell, if it wasn’t for the dirt sheets kinda spoiling the surprise, I would’ve been trying to remember who he was. Sorry, but Tito’s time has passed. It’s not like when Ken Shamrock came straight in from UFC to the WWF. He was fresh in our minds. UFC (in its original iteration) was pretty popular. Everyone knew who he was and was excited about him. Tito Ortiz...who hung it up years ago and has really done nothing significant since? Again, TNA just built up on hype that it couldn’t deliver.
Three wrestlers that should retire...out of five, and that's only because of the wrestling. I’ll be harsh next week if TNA does something stupid again, even if every match is five star. Look, you don’t need to to try and shock us or create half ass drama. Just give us a good solid storyline that makes sense, coupled with the quality matches you have been giving us, and wrestling fans will be happy.