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Random Thoughts: Impact Wrestling 7-25-13

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Well it’s been a while. Sorry, between work and internet porn, I’ve had distractions. But that doesn’t mean that I’ve kept out of the loop. Actually I’ve been very interested in TNA, who I believe has been on a streak of putting on some pretty damn good quality shows as of late. A shame that TNA will probably be brought down in a year by terrible upper management, but that’s a story for another day. Their Destination X free per view (get it, cause it use to be pay per view but they showed it free this year. Ha!) was pretty damn good...except...for the main event. I know everyone wants to say “ALL HAIL SABIN,” but I’m more “meh.”

Not to say he’s not a good wrestler, and the way the match played out probably wasn’t his fault. I mean who’s idea was it to make Sabin look so impotent, so weak. In the entire match it was 99 percent Bully, and 1 percent Sabin. It was terrible. I know Bully is a big and imposing heel, and I have to admit I’m surprised as to how much I like Bully, but Sabin can still put up a fight. They would not allow Sabin to put up a fight. Unfortunately, Sabin’s first title reign is not built on a strong foundation. I don’t see him lasting more than two months.

So now join me, as I struggle through Windows 8...god I hate this OS...and we get ready to take a look at the latest edition of Impact Wrestling.

Main Attraction: Impact Wrestling 7-25-13

Ready...set...SUE!
Okay, wait wait wait. They have to start the segment over. Sting came without his face paint...again. Now I know Sting has come out to the ring without his face paint before, and it’s been a terrible idea...every...single...time.
And why isn’t Samoa Joe in a suit like the others? And Rampage Jackson...why is he even here?

Eh, whatever. Main Event Mafia says it’s 1-0 them against Aces and Eights...even though Sabin isn’t part of the mafia. I would say they get just a half point for the assist. After Angle lies by saying Sabin had the best match in his career, the new champ crowned ten minutes ago...errr...I mean last week, is introduced to a good reaction from the crowd. And I honestly do like Sabin. I really do. He has no gimmick, no schtick, he is just himself. And guess what, it works for him.

After Sabin challenges the upcoming X Division Champ to a match next week, the bad ass biker gang leader Bully Ray comes out...with his Lawyer. No I don’t know which one, Jacobi or Myer. Bully then issues a demand for Sabin to hand him the World Title, or else he will sue TN...A...

...

So, the leader of the bad ass biker gang, Aces and Eights, that has caused destruction and chaos over the past year, is threatening to sue if he doesn’t get his World Title back.

...

Well, no one said TNA still didn’t come up with a bad idea every now and then.

Wait, we’re suppose to take this seriously?
Apparently, as Hogan is on the phone scrambling for a solution, refusing to comment on “pending litigation.” Sheesh. :-\

God damn, that X Division belt looks awesome
It really does. Also, the X Division matches are by far my favorite matches in wrestling. Always exciting, intense, edge of your seat fun. But, I feel this match may have been too short. Still, it was fun, especially the last couple of minutes.

Bully revels in the success of his mastermind plan
He can tell he has Hogan scared over...ugh...the threat of a lawsuit. Why would something like this actually be taken seriously? Because the script tells you to shut up and take it seriously, that’s why. We also get a pep speech from Bully to Anderson for his upcoming BFG match.

Air Mexico crashes and burns...
...and earns Mr. Anderson 7 points

Again...be scared of all mighty fearful lawsuit
Be scared dammit. Even Dixie knows this may be the end. I think this is how Flair won his Fourth Title.

Joseph Park’s identity crisis
I just consider it a crisis that Joseph Park is in TNA. And if he’s trying to figure out this legal crisis, I’d say we’re watching the very last episode of Impact Wrestling.

Velvet Sky with a....
Hold on...*rewinds*

Velvet Sky with...
Wait up... *rewinds*

Velvet...uhhh...
Okay, if anyone knows how to get those couple of seconds of her shaking her ass as she walks in turned into a screensaver, PM me. So...what the hell was I going to say?

Knockouts are fun
They really are. And hell of a lot more talented than the Divas. But, does ODB need to grab her breasts every few seconds. It’s called a bra. Gail gets into ODB’s face, causing her the match and setting up for a new feud it looks like.

And Velvet Sky’s purpose at ringside? To give me a new screensaver.

Uh Oh...Hogan and Dixie may surrender?
Could this be the end of Chris Sabin’s title reign that has lasted all of two hour....err....I mean one week? It could be since no one competent actually runs TNA.

Christopher Daniels earns BFG points
With the help of Mr. Anderson, over Samoa Joe. Next week,Samoa Joe brings a lawyer to sue for those seven points.

Sting and Angle wor...
Wait wait wait. Start it over. Sting didn’t put his face paint on yet.

Phenomenal Match? Nah
But it was still a good one. AJ gets a submission victory for the ten points, and blows off Jeff Hardy on a handshake. Geez, what a sore...winner.

Hogan says he has to do what has to be done
And he has to do it fast. TNA forgot to renegotiate his contract that expires in...three minutes.

A special kind of justice announced
Bully comes out demanding the title. Sabin comes out to tell Bully to screw off. Enter Hogan who comes out and rips a contract up, then announces that Bully’s contract does give him a rematch. Wait a minute? So that wasn’t Bully’s contract he just ripped up? What was that, the lawsuit? Or was I not joking about the three minute thing and Hogan just ripped his expired contract.

Whatever. It’s announced that Sabin and Bully will face each other at next month’s Free Per View event, Hardcore Justice, in a steel cage.

Conclusion
Good announcement to hype Hardcore Justice. And overall good quality of matches tonight. But...the story was bull. It was bad, uneventful, and the conclusion to this lawsuit saga didn’t even seem to have a proper conclusion, with Hogan just saying Bully will get a rematch. Well, if that’s what he wanted all along, wouldn’t he had just said “I demand a rematch or I’ll sue” from the start? He didn’t say that. He said “I want the title or I’ll sue.” Well, what would stop Bully from suing anyway? I expected Hogan to come out saying Bully’s contract bars him from legal action, but instead he essentially said, “No, sue my ass, brother!” I wouldn’t be too hard, but the stupidity of this story kinda hurt it a bit tonight. Plus, I thought that X Division match was a bit on the short side too.

Nah, on second thought I won't be that hard. We did get quite a bit of wrestling in those two hours. Four more lawsuits for Hogan to deal with out of five.

But that's the only time I won't be that hard on TNA.

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Comments

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  1. Stephen KiPa's Avatar
    i thought the story line was stupid too, considering bully won the same way, but also, why would a bikey leader need to hide behind a lawyer?? but having sed that it was cool seeing "kevin nash" be his lawyer
  2. Pagey21's Avatar
    I caught the last 10 minutes of this show, the rest of it could have been quality and i wont ever know but the last part was so bad bully ray made me cringe really bad, chris sabin just doesnt look legit to me i dont know anything about him but to me its just a waste of time having him as the main guy, how cheap and shit is tna it looks horrible, i dont hate tna it just has some problems
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