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The Commandments of the WWE IWC

Rating: 7 votes, 4.29 average.
If you were to lurk on any of the dirt sheets, you would think the IWC is a bunch of hypocritical, indecisive lunatics who are just never happy. Which is not true at all, we are happy sometimes, it just lasts shorter than a New York minute.

The truth is though, there are some rules to make most (but never all) of the IWC happy. So instead of being all serious and boring, I'm going to have some fun.

WWE IWC Commandments:

1) Thou shall love heels more than faces

2) Thou shall not be a great face without one good heel turn

3) Thou shall realize we will always try to turn a heel face.

3) Thou shall not be predictable.

4) Thou shall not be unpredictable when we want it to be predictable.

5) Thou shall always like the veteran Jobber of the Stars who hasn't won a world title yet.

6) Thou shall love to hate John Cena as a wrestler

7) Thou shall hate The Miz, because it's The Miz

8) Thou shall not have a quick rise to the top unless you act like one of our old favorites.

9) Thou shall be built slowly to develop and win us over unless it's The Miz.

10) Thou shall always want the old vetreans.

11) Thou shall hate that the WWE brings back old vetreans.

12) Thou shall always want Rider

13) Thou shall love the indy star who wrestled for ROH and now for NXT.

14) Thou shall always want dream matches and whine when it doesn't happen.

15) Thou shall be too lazy to riot.

16) Thou shall love the promos and angles of when we were kids.

17) Thou shall hate the promos and angles of the past when they are redone for today's kids.

18) Thou shall always make fun of Jericho's jacket when it doesn't work

19) Thou shall always want tables.

20) Thou shall always bring up TNA.

21) Thou shall always hate the booking

22) Thou shall always wear rose colored glasses when looking back to the Attitude era

23) Thou shall always hate PG

24) Thou shall always make fun of ratings and non-sell out crowds

25) Thou shall never say the PPV was worth buying

26) Thou shall read dirt sheets then complain that Raw/PPV was predictable.

27) Thou shall always say the titles are worthless.

28) Thou shall always say their favorite star should hold a title.

29) Thou shall hum Fandango's theme.

30) Thou shall never be happy, threaten to never watch again, and watch it promptly the following week.

Feel free to add on to the list or tell me I'm wrong.

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Tags: iwc, raw, wwe
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  1. Jack Newport's Avatar
    Thou shall want an up-and-coming star to become the next top guy.

    Thou shall hate any up-and-comer WWE tries to make the next top guy.

    Thou shall always want John Cena to turn heel.

    Thou shall always boo John Cena and give him heel heat regardless.

    Thou shall cheer for heels and boo faces.

    Thou shall wonder why the young heels and faces can't get over.

    Thou shall call every upcoming PPV horrible and not worth watching.

    Thou shall hurridly search for a live PPV stream once a month.

    Thou shall complain that Triple H is a politician that buries talent.

    Thou shall call for Vince McMahon to step down and give power to Triple H.

    Thou shall want the WWE to become more edgy.

    Thou shall backlash if WWE does something edgy.

    Thou shall clamor for Divas that can actually wrestle, and hate models.

    Thou shall prefer indy talent over homegrown talent, even if they're boring.

    Thou shall scream YES! and NO! every time Daniel Bryan appears.

    Thou shall wonder why Daniel Bryan is comic relief instead of a main-eventer.

    Thou shall used the word buried when you have no idea what buried really is.

    Thou shall support guys that were never on TV.

    Thou shall deny supporting those guys when they finally do appear on TV.

    Thou shall love The Lord CM Punk with all thy heart and all thy soul.

    Thou shall assume anyone who dosen't love CM Punk isn't a wrestling fan.

    Thou shall claim the casual fans are sheep.

    Thou shall all group together and like the same talent on the Internet.

    Thou shall renounce The Miz and all his works.

    Thous shall consider his wife, Maryse, however, to be smoking hot.

    Thou shall never order PPVs.

    Thou shall complain of low PPV buyrates.

    Thou shall consider thyself more mature and intelligent than casual fans.

    Thou shall get into immature arguements with children at live events.

    Thou shall read all these commandements, and probably break them in a week.
    Updated 04-10-2013 at 03:08 AM by Jack Newport
  2. Kincaid's Avatar
    Thou shalt have no best in the world before Punk

    Thou shalt not covet thy competition's roster

    Thou shalt not worship false finishes

    Thou shalt book from thine armchair

    Thou shalt miss the attitude era, yet condemn "part timers" from it
  3. ThomHodkinson's Avatar
    Thou shalt always believe in the prophet Paul Heyman

    Thou shalt wish the Nexus were booked like The Shield
  4. smellmycooking's Avatar
    Thou shalt believe in the 2nd coming of cena's heel turn

    Thou shalt search for spoilers and complain that everything is predictable

    thou shalt want a money in the bank cash in every week

    thou shalt refer 2 current wwe stars by their Indy names 2 prove thy knowledge

    thou shalt have a man crush on fandango
  5. ewantu2's Avatar
    26 and 30 are 100% true hahaha.
  6. alcrissam's Avatar
    The great commandment: thou shall make fun of the ICW without realizing that they are in it.
  7. weems's Avatar
    Thou shall claim to take a piss break every time there is a divas match.

    Thou shall love Jim Ross and criticize every other announcer.

    Thou shall love "pure wrestling" but spend 99% of their time watching sports entertainment such as Impact and Raw rather than other independent wrestling promotions.

    Thou shall love "long wrestling matches that tell stories" but mark out when a MITB winner cashes in on a guy who was unconscious 10 seconds ago and becomes a 1st time champion after a 2 minute match.

    Thou shall get angry when WWE announces they are having a live musical performance at Wrestlemania.
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