The Commandments of the WWE IWC
by, 04-09-2013 at 09:41 AM (4979 Views)
If you were to lurk on any of the dirt sheets, you would think the IWC is a bunch of hypocritical, indecisive lunatics who are just never happy. Which is not true at all, we are happy sometimes, it just lasts shorter than a New York minute.
The truth is though, there are some rules to make most (but never all) of the IWC happy. So instead of being all serious and boring, I'm going to have some fun.
WWE IWC Commandments:
1) Thou shall love heels more than faces
2) Thou shall not be a great face without one good heel turn
3) Thou shall realize we will always try to turn a heel face.
3) Thou shall not be predictable.
4) Thou shall not be unpredictable when we want it to be predictable.
5) Thou shall always like the veteran Jobber of the Stars who hasn't won a world title yet.
6) Thou shall love to hate John Cena as a wrestler
7) Thou shall hate The Miz, because it's The Miz
8) Thou shall not have a quick rise to the top unless you act like one of our old favorites.
9) Thou shall be built slowly to develop and win us over unless it's The Miz.
10) Thou shall always want the old vetreans.
11) Thou shall hate that the WWE brings back old vetreans.
12) Thou shall always want Rider
13) Thou shall love the indy star who wrestled for ROH and now for NXT.
14) Thou shall always want dream matches and whine when it doesn't happen.
15) Thou shall be too lazy to riot.
16) Thou shall love the promos and angles of when we were kids.
17) Thou shall hate the promos and angles of the past when they are redone for today's kids.
18) Thou shall always make fun of Jericho's jacket when it doesn't work
19) Thou shall always want tables.
20) Thou shall always bring up TNA.
21) Thou shall always hate the booking
22) Thou shall always wear rose colored glasses when looking back to the Attitude era
23) Thou shall always hate PG
24) Thou shall always make fun of ratings and non-sell out crowds
25) Thou shall never say the PPV was worth buying
26) Thou shall read dirt sheets then complain that Raw/PPV was predictable.
27) Thou shall always say the titles are worthless.
28) Thou shall always say their favorite star should hold a title.
29) Thou shall hum Fandango's theme.
30) Thou shall never be happy, threaten to never watch again, and watch it promptly the following week.
Feel free to add on to the list or tell me I'm wrong.