DanHero's Elimination Chamber Review
by, 02-18-2013 at 06:14 AM (6298 Views)
The Build Up:
For the most part, I’ve enjoyed the build up to the Elimination Chamber, CM Punk’s promos have been top notch, he’s taken the “whining heel” to a different area where he’s not backing down from a fight, and actually protesting the thing rather than just trying to come up with excuses as to why he got pinned. The introduction of the stipulation actually leads me to think there might be a way that CM Punk could walk out with the WWE Championship. The World Heavyweight Championship isn’t a feud I’m too interested in, admittedly I’ve never been a fan of the Big Show and Del Rio bores me as a face (he’s replaced a car with a bucket... why?). The S.H.I.E.L.D match seems like it thrown together as a way to keep three of the bigger names out of an elimination chamber and no ones really sure if this thing will be inside the cage or not. I’m guessing if they do, it’ll be an unsanctioned thing where the cage is there for decoration and has no addition to the match rules, just a straight up tornado tag of insanity. Either way this match will be interesting. The United States title has had a cool little feud going on, even though The Miz keeps getting distracted by various other plot holes, Antonio had a great showing on Raw slamming Miz into the barricade like the scene in Avengers where Hulk slams Loki. (Two marvel references to far, wonder how many I can make in this.) The match itself has been bumped from pre-show Royal Rumble to legit card holder now so we’ll see what they bring to the table. The Elimination Chamber is gonna be a good match, with Bryan, Kane and Henry and Jericho in there there’ll be some cool spots, I’m not sure what Swagger will do in this match but it’s almost too obvious that Randy Orton will come away from this match pointing at the ‘Mania sign. My main problem with the match is that there’s not been a lot of time to showcase Kane or Daniel Bryan, they’ve sort of been pushed aside for other promos when an interesting dynamic here is the dysfunctional Tag Team Champions going into one of the most barbaric matches in WWE history.
Interesting note: Shield had better odds of winning according to betting agencies than “Team Sell? No!”
World Heavyweight Championship: Alberto Del Rio vs. The Big Show:
After a terrible pre-show, I needed perking up, but the concept of this match was definitely not what I was looking forward too. Big Show uses up all his variations of “I have a giant hand” chop in the first 60 seconds and that’s pretty much most of his moves done with, it leads straight into big moves straight away with close two counts happening within the first few minutes, for a minute I thought I’d fallen asleep and missed the five minutes before this part of the match but nope, somehow both men got worn down by a couple chops and kicks. As I was complaining about Big Show’s spear, seriously it just looks like he’s falling over, he lets out the worst looking super kick I’ve ever seen and continues to baffle me why he’s in the main event. The only time Show’s matches can be slightly entertaining is when there’s a no disqualification stipulation in there so the use of weapons can hide his weaker areas. I noticed this on Raw, why does everyone jump off of Big Show when he kicks out? Even for a normal one shoulder up kick out superstars send themselves flying around the ring like he’s catapulting them anyway, just doesn’t make sense, we get that he’s big but lifting on shoulder up would send you left or right, not a foot into the air. By this logic Mark Henry should have embedded Jack Swagger into the roof of the Elimination Chamber when he kicked out. The ending got me annoyed as well, why was Del Rio blatantly allowed to kick a bucket into Big Show’s head and not be disqualified? I mean, he attempted it TWICE right in front of the referee and he said nothing about it. Is there something in the Pro-Wrestling Rule Book that says “No foreign objects may used except a bucket and anything found on the announcers table.) So even without the botch that would have been a pretty poor finish, they tried to recover by having Del Rio kick show in the head a few more times, but that still wouldn’t explain why he would tap out to an Arm Bar. If you’re going to have a submission hold as a finishing move, you need to focus at least a little on that area during the match, amigo.
Not even the actors in G.I Joe really care about their movie.
United States Championship: Antonio Cesaro vs. The Miz:
I could watch the clip of Cesaro slamming Miz against the barricade on a constant loop forever. Has anyone noticed that Cesaro is already doing Jack Swaggers gimmick just without the insane racism? The match itself is really good, well worked, the focus almost 100% on Miz’s shoulder, a lot of times in matches with an injury angle it’s worked on for the first minute and then it’s just sort of forgotten and it turns back into a normal match, only to be used at the very end of the match for the final decision, but this match just stayed right on it throughout the entire thing, you could see Cesaro only had one focus. I liked how they added in a knee injury to Cesaro and had Miz endlessly aim at the leg like Cesaro had been doing to him, like two wounded dogs just going at it until one fell. It actually added a sense of realism to the match that if you really see an opponent injured, you’re not going to aim at anything else. The ending was interesting with Cesaro sacrificing his private area to retain the title, it was a clever way for Cesaro to keep the belt, which I’m assuming will lead to a third match at WrestleMania, which I’m glad Antonio is walking in to as champion.
They finally give Kane a story going into the chamber.
I don’t remember this many video packages for the Elimination Chamber since the very first one at Survivor Series. But it gives a good look back at some awesome moments. The match already lost points for taking away Jack Swaggers theme song, one of the most interesting things about him, I honestly thought it was just a production glitch and the Chamber’s theme was still playing. The match starts off with the internet exploding as Jericho and Bryan begin as the contestants, Bryan’s reversal to the Walls Of Jericho is so interesting and shows that he really does know excellent counters to submission holds, I wish they’d let him show that off a lot more but I’m guessing other superstars are more concerned about their finisher looking inescapable. The commentators bug me during this match because they keep saying that Shawn Michaels returned at Survivor Series to win the championship, when really there was a whole summer of Michaels vs. Triple H that led to this match, and even after it. Swaggers new demeanour is very interesting, it’s a lot more aggressive and instead of just being mat based he’s going further into the brawler territory but still using his wrestling abilities when he needs to, it shows Swaggers versatility that he hasn’t been able to get across for a long time now. We’re lucky that the clock was the only thing to botch in such a dangerous match. I liked the idea of Kane and Bryan going at it, and it was well done that as soon as the first punch was landed, they just laid into each other for a good few minutes completely ignoring the fact there was two other superstars in the ring, it shows that this team is probably nearing its end, but in a good way that hopefully leaves us with a good storyline. Bryan eliminated first was my call of the night, which I’m afraid to say was right, it’s still confusing how they make Bryan look so damn strong at some points but then at other times he seems to just be filler. Like they’re on the verge of him being in the main event but keep changing their mind, a lot like Wade Barrett. It felt like after Kane was eliminated afterwards the crowd was sort of dead for a while, WWE really underestimates how much the crowd loves these guys. The double suplex on Mark Henry was brutal and definitely the match highlight, you won’t see many big guys taking a huge bump like that. Henry looked so strong throughout the match with an excellent showing but then gets eliminated in like 10 seconds, seemed a bit weird, it was cool that it took three finishers but I think if they were going to eliminate Henry they should have done it after the suplex of doom. Henry gets a standing ovation after he walks out of the cage which was actually awesome, when Henry won the championship everyone forgot about characters and cheered for him cause long time fans were happy that he finally got a championship, the same respect was shown tonight and it’s actually good to show that most of the WWE fans still respect wrestlers that deserve it. Swags winning really came out of nowhere, I honestly didn’t expect him to come out of this a winner, he was actually my bottom pick for the match. I guess it goes to show that Vince McMahon really loves racism.
Shield vs. Team Sell? No!
Seriously, I love the name the internet gave these guys, good job Internet. It’s a shame this match isn’t inside the chamber but the match itself still delivered and it showed that The Shield don’t have to be in a special attraction match to be an unstoppable force. The stalling suplex spot was a weird spot considering how Miz dropped Punk on his head earlier in the week. The Shield work so well as a tag team they actually manage to outshine every other team in the industry, to get such ring unity in two people is normally something that comes along every few years but to get it in a group of three is damn near impossible, the way they’ve come up with three person moves and routines to go through, how there’s always a plan and they know how to stay on top of opponents as long as they work together, it’s just an awesome thing to witness and not just because of the internet hero’s this team has, but because they work so damn well together that if 3MB worked they same they’d be getting the same love as well. Sheild go through the match showing that they’re a group by keeping one person a target at a time, they know the good guys won’t break many rules and they bend as many as they can, Seth Rollins diving in and out of the ring was awesome because it utilised his flying abilities without making Sell? No! Look like chumps for constantly getting taken down by a cross body. They whole match keeps everyone looking strong as it clearly points out that one on one the shield would be losing, but because of the group dynamic Shield comes out on top every time. If other tag teams worked together as much as I can see these Shield does, the tag team division would be something special. These guys were just thrown together with no background of ever working together and they make it work, most tag teams that are thrown together spend more time on Twitter trying to figure out their team name then actually working on becoming a team. A strange moment happens when Ryback takes Cena’s spot of the one who clears house and gets the hot tag, maybe they’re really gearing up for Ryback to take to Cena’s place? But then I see how unsafe his powerbomb to Rollins was and how he pretty much slams Ambrose on his head and I pray to God I’m wrong because he’s as unlucky as The Miz. The slam into the barricade was awesome, whatever that smashing noise was and how far Sheamus went just made it look sick. Shield coming up on top again just shows how much faith they have in the group.
Ziggler vs. Kingston
Random match, considering Kingstons massive losing streak I’m not too sure why this is happening. Kingstons losing streak saddens me, but at least Ziggler continues to look strong. Fast paced match. Obvious filler but at least they bothered to put Ziggler on the card.
How many times does Cole install and uninstall the WWE app for this stuff? And then repeat the same jokes about is background. (It’s not a screensaver King. And we get that you have a girlfriend.)
Pointless segment with Brodus Clay looking like Skrillex will in 20 years.
Pointless Diva’s match. Not gonna rate it cause honestly I didn’t watch it. I made a chicken sandwich, went to the bathroom, and read Uncanny X-Men #1
Rating for Uncanny X-Men #1 and my Chicken Sandwich: 4/5
WWE Championship: CM Punk vs. The Rock:
The Rock comes down to the ring with a longer entrance than The Undertaker and a slow start sets the tone, maybe it’s to allow The Rock time to breathe cause he looked really out of breath within the first few minutes while Punk wasn’t even sweating. The spitting was a good spot because Punk has probably wanted to do that for three years, good for him. The match itself stays too slow for too long, obviously fitting Rock’s pace, but the crowd isn’t as behind the Rock as they hoped tonight so the crowd seems dead for a lot of it. I’m still confused why the announcer table never means a disqualification but whatever. If the match hadn’t have started slow the middle part would have been a lot more effective but because of the slow start it sort just seemed like the match was dragging. There’s a lot of 2001 style match telling going on that kind of shows how dated The Rock is, the referee’s going down, announce table, going for the belt is all something that would go down all back in the day, while it’d be cool if there was just one part as a sort of throwback, because it’s all there it just sort of shows that The Rock can’t compete in a 2012 style match with a lot more story telling actually inside the wrestling, something that Punk is a master in. The ending was pretty crappy, I would have thought there’d be some interference, or some kind of twist, rather than Punk just losing. After two PPVs losing I wonder what’s going to be on for Punk going in to WrestleMania. The match itself was a little bit better than the Rumble match but without the drama at the end so it ended up being a level field on entertainment value. The amount of times that Rock vs. Cena are mentioned at the end, they never once mentioned it’s a rematch, like they’re desperately trying to cover up the whole “once in a life time” thing.
While I’m sure Rock vs. Cena will draw quite a few PPV buys again, I’m not interested in the match, something that bugs me is that for the last six years the “big match” has always had a rematch. Taker vs. Michaels was twice, and then again with Triple H, and now there’s two Rock vs. Cena’s. It just seems like creative isn’t really trying and as soon as there’s a good match going down with some of the veterans they just think “okay great, same again next year!” Someexcellent matches in the show but a lot of down points and strange moments, asthe final PPV before Wrestlemania I expected something big that everyone wouldbe talking about but there wasn’t really a shocking moment outside of Swaggerwinning the Chamber, so it just seemed like by the end of the night somethingwas missing. An excellent showing from Cesaro, Shield, CM Punk and Mark Henry,but coming out of Elimination Chamber I’m more worried about what will happenon the road to WrestleMania rather than excited.Overall Rating: 3.5/5
That’s my review, you can follow me on Twitter @DanHarrington91 so see some ramblings during the Pay-Per-View and other wrestling related stuff during the week.