Less Royal for your Rumble
by, 01-28-2013 at 01:47 PM (3003 Views)
So the road to Wrestlemania has officially begun..except in this case that may not be such a positive statement. After last nights Royal Rumble, one has to question what Wrestlemania is going to look like. Our World Heavyweight champion is more of a latino hero than a wrestler, our WWE champion is (in my opinion) a washed up wrestler who was not exactly perfect in his prime, with a spotlight-grabbing 5 trick pony as his challenger.
Ramblings aside, lets move on to the rumble, shall we?
Pre-Show: Cesaro vs. Miz
I like both of these guys, I always have, but let's just say that this match was...lacking. It was an okay match up until The Miz did that awkward top rope move that didn't even look like something one would do to their opponent, followed by him selling an injury that I have a feeling Cesaro was supposed to give him. When Cesaro went half-way under the ring, I thought he would take a page out of 2010 Drew Mcintyre's book and snap his arm under there, but instead he gingerly threw the Miz into the metal in a move that didn't look like it was even supposed to hurt, followed by the quickest Neutralizer I've ever seen to retain the U.S. Championship
Verdict: I like Cesaro, but he needs to tell a story in his matches, not quick 5 min defenses against guys that used to be at his level
Alberto Del Rio vs. Big show-Last Man Standing
I'm just going to start off saying I liked this match. Most people complained that if we had the match on SD a few weeks ago, then why have it again? Because it's entertaining. The match started off well, a few good moves, and then things started to quicken. Big Show's chokeslam to Del Rio-in my mind-was awesome, I thought it was going to end there, but Del Rio managed to get to his feet. Fast forward a while. When Big Show set up the spear against the barricade, I knew that Del Rio would move, setting up the finish. Then comes the end, Del Rio locks in the arm breaker, allowing Ricardo to duct tape the living hell out of Big Show's legs, seriously, that was a lot of duct tape. Big Show can't break free, Del Rio wins.
Verdict: I haven't been watching Smackdown since Sheamus won the WHC, and I don't plan on it anytime soon. Del Rio is making a title run based on being a hero rather than wrestling, which makes no sense.
Team Hell No vs. Team Rhodes Scholars
Standard match between these four, it was okay I guess, nothing really special. If a team is going to fight the same 4 challengers for their whole reign, at least throw in some gimmick matches to keep it interesting.
Verdict: Team Hell No are funny, they are interesting, but their matches seem to be the worst part about them, which is shameful knowing that Daniel Bryan is one half of the team.
The Royal Rumble
Instead of doing a full analysis, I'll just skip to the important entrants
#1: Dolph Ziggler - we all knew this would happen since Monday, and deep down we all knew he wouldn't win, even though I for one really wanted him to.
#2: Chris Jericho - This was awesome, nobody can deny that. I never expected Jericho to come back, so this was a very nice surprise, but again, it was obvious he wouldn't win.
#11: Sheamus - the jobber clean up crew is tradition in the Rumble, Sheamus picked up two quick eliminations, and then laid low for a while
#16: Bo Dallas - Why is he important, you ask? Well Bo Dallas impressed me in this match, and if their bringing him up to the main roster, this is a damn good way to do it, and I sense a feud with Wade Barrett in the not so distant future
#19: John Cena - I felt most of the IWC have a collected groan of disdain the moment Cena's music hit, we all knew he would win, and it tore us up inside.
#26:Randy Orton - another one of the final entrants, one who didn't really do much for the Rumble, but in the feeble minds of the universe, a favorite to win.
#30: Ryback - When it came to the final numbers, I was trying to predict who would enter, somehow the entrants got worse the farther along it got, leading to the final entrant: Ryback
The Final 6: Cena, Ryback, Sheamus, Ziggler, Orton, Jericho
In my personal standpoint, this is: two guys I want to win (Ziggler/Jericho), two guys I could deal with winning (Orton, Ryback) a guy I didn't want to win (Sheamus), and a guy I REALLY didn't want winning (Cena). Jericho is the first to go after a minor burst, basically killing my buzz entirely. Then Randy Orton picks up a burst and gets eliminated. Let me just say something about Randy, I hate him, that's how much I didn't want Cena to win, I'd rather have Randy Orton-a guy who I have never liked- win over Cena. Anyway, Dolph Ziggler is the next to be eliminated, allowing me to lose all hope I've ever had in this getting salvaged. Then Sheamus is out, pretty obvious he wouldn't win again. Then the final two, the guys who have had the most recent title matches, they might as well have had a No. 1 Contenders match on Raw to save us this whole night, as well as the feeling of having wasted one of the best events in WWE. I thought that the Shield would cost Ryback the match, which would have made much more sense, but instead Cena gets an unappealing reversal to overcome nonexistent adversity to win the Royal Rumble (again)
Verdict: Since Raw 1000 we've known what would happen at WM, but it still doesn't ease the blow of Cena wasting our time,and a Rumble
The Rock vs. CM Punk
I expected a fight, a slug fest, a brawl, in order to tell a story that these guys detest each other, instead we got some thrown punches and kicks in the beginning, followed by a sports entertainment match with not much value to it. The announce table broke, which was cool, a Rock Bottom was laid down, and some shots were thrown by Paul Heyman, blah, blah, blah. The lights go down, the Shield comes out and decimates Rock, CM Punk picks up a win. Here comes Vince to take the title off Punk, Rock refuses, the match restarts. Side note: has anybody ever won a match twice in a row after it has been restarted? seriously, as soon as a match restarts, the winner of the first match will lose, no matter what. So The Rock wins The WWE Championship. 434 days of amazing matches and moments, 434 days of the greatest WWE championship reign for as long as I've been watching, taken away by an overrated movie star. What is even left for CM Punk? Can he come back from this? will he fall into obscurity? Will he ever win it back?
Verdict: Deep down we all wanted the ones who put Rock through the table NOT to be the Shield, but we all know it is. The Rock will have a meaningless 2 month title run, lose the title to Cena at WM, and we're back to hot potato championship runs with meaningless champs.
PPV Verdict: We are setting up for one bad Wrestlemania, unless the undercard can salvage it somehow, or a swerve comes 'round by EC.
Thanks for reading the ramblings, hope you enjoyed the blog.