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DanHero's Royal Rumble Review.

Rating: 5 votes, 2.00 average.
I always watch the pay-per-view with the same group of people, my girlfriend and two of my friends. Last night was the first time we all just sat in silence when the pay-per-view ended, and not in the good kind. Let’s just go straight into this.

Last Man Standing Match for the World Heavyweight Championship:

Okay so the biggest problem I have here is that this match happened two weeks ago on Smackdown, for free, and it didn’t do a thing to boost ratings even after WWE spoiled it. So creative’s genius idea? The same match, but on pay-per-view. The match seemed to move to quickly like they had a good plan for it but then was told they want to run the Royal Rumble “numbers” promo seven times so their match is being cut short. Some good little back and forth bits with an awesome table spot that was no sold by Del Rio, he pretty laid their up until the count of six and then spun onto his feet. So the match ends with Batista at home screaming at the tv and Del Rio winning again. The reason I’m so down on this match is that if they wanted this at the Rumble why have the title change earlier in the month on Smackdown? It didn’t make any sense. If anything it made it less special. Hopefully now this is the end of it and they can start giving Del Rio a rivalry with someone else.

Rating 2/5 Stars.

Big E. Langston does a weird commentator impression and I’m suddenly a fan of Big E.

Darren Young’s started to steal things from internet memes? Can’t wait until he busts out an Epic Rap Battle Of History.

Tag Team Championship Match, Team Hell No vs. Rhode Scholars:

This was actually a good match, I was happy with either team winning this as I’m a fan of both. If anything I would have preferred Rhode Scholars because I’d like to see Daniel Bryan fighting back into the Main Event and I have a feeling this is Kane’s last year so I’d want him to have a real two month Wrestlemania build up until his swan song, this would also leave Rhode Scholars to defend against some of the other tag teams that need to have a light shone on them, the division is ready to go, Prime Time Players still need their chance to shine.

Rating: 3/5 Stars.

Recently I noticed that WWE has the best mail service in the world, they’re on the road 5 days a week but yet Punk got a letter delivered to him overnight from Raw to Smackdown, and this year all 30 contestants got their entry number via mail? I want this guy to deliver my stuff.

30 Man Royal Rumble Match:

At first I’m shocked this isn’t the last match, then I realise the Rock is still ahead so I’m not surprised anymore. Dolph Ziggler comes out and cuts a promo and out comes Chris Jericho. This got the biggest pop of the night from our sofa and it’s awesome to see him back again, even with new weird looking tattoos. The thing with this rumble (apart from the ending) is that it was missing a lot, there was only two guest entrants in Goldust and The Godfather, while I’m happy that Wade Barrett can finally smile that Papa Shango was in the Rumble, it just seemed like there could have been so much more. We got the return of Chris Jericho as the nights top surprise but that came right at the start of the match with not much to follow it, instead we get the returns of Santino Marella, Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara. All of whom pretty much everyone over the age of ten just goes “yeah… alright.” This match really could have been with 40 contestants. With the Shield, Justin Gabriel, Usos, Epico and Primo, there’s 8 more entrants off the top of my head, they could have easily roped in two other surprise entrants or… just anything. The first half of the rumble was quite good but then it all went downhill when Cena joined. I don’t mean that as a typical “hate on Cena” thing, but he immediately comes in and makes everyone else look weak taking them all down in a few seconds. So then we get to my biggest problem with this years rumble, the final three. Cena, Ryback and Sheamus. It was too obvious. There was no “anything could happen here” sort of thing, this was exactly the three that anyone would pick as their “I think this guy is going to win but I really want [insert name of mid card wrestler here] to win instead.” While it’s there to make Cena look good again it also made so many talents look wasted, Kofi Kingston was just there to do the chair spot and then go eliminated straight afterwards, several superstars like Cody Rhodes, Damien Sandow, Antonio Cesaro and Dolph Ziggler we’re fed to the main eventers in easy eliminations, and it all ended in a way that pretty much guarantee’s what I’ve been saying for a while now. It’s only “once in a lifetime” if you died in 2012. This rumble could have been so much more, this was one of the years it was hard to pick a favourite to win it because it was just too obvious Cena was going to win, they could have come out of nowhere with a new talent to win the match and just go for the World Heavyweight Championship. Cena didn’t need another Rumble win. Cena doesn’t need another anything, he’s a well decorated superstar who should be focusing on building the future now. Instead we’ve got another 3 months of The Rock and Cena bickering like two seven year olds arguing over which Pokemon is the coolest.

Overall: 2/5

Rock cuts a promo. Does his usual Rock thing. Is no different to normal.

WWE Title match: CM Punk vs. The Rock.

I hated this match, I hated everything about this match, from the way CM Punk is sent out first, to the way they’ve given the Rock this match for no reason. The build up was excellent only because CM Punk owned the Rock at every corner, he called out the Rock and said what he was going to do every week with the Rock concert and his catch phrases, and the Rock came out and did exactly that with his fat jokes and normal bullying routine that made WWE donate another million to B.A.Star. Then we get to the match, and even after it looks like they’ve given Punk a way to win with the injury to Rock from the Shield, there’s no way around it, it’s going to happen. While it was cool to see a genuine, attitude era disregard for disqualifications with the announce table (seriously, how is putting something through that table not a disqualification?) it just continues to get ridiculous as the Rock mounts his come back and… the lights go out? Is that Dean Ambrose breathing like he’s got a chainsaw instead of tonsils? DID PUNK JUST PIN THE ROCK? Oh no… wait, here comes Vince McMahon. And there we have it. 434 days of the best championship run, every single pay per view match a career highlight for everyone involved, some of the best promos and storylines in the new era, all flushed down the toilet, to the peoples elbow. My huge problem with this is that Rock / Cena 2 doesn’t need a belt. It doesn’t need to happen at all. And now Punk’s left with nothing because WWE wants the Rock to be happy. Which will just lead to Cena winning the belt at Mania and all of Punk’s change being for nothing as it goes back to 2009. There’s no interesting way this can turn out for the championship, Rock hasn’t been around for so long and he can instantly get a championship? He’s been in movies for so long this is basically the equivalent of when WCW put the championship on David Arquette. I could rant for even longer but I won’t. It was just a bad call by the WWE and it’s going to really come back and bite them in the ass when everyone realises that Cena just doesn’t have the crowd like he used to and it’s time for someone new to be there.

Rating: 1.5/5

With only two matches before the Rumble that both left more to be desired, and a Rumble that didn’t have the “anything can happen” feel to it and a main event that flushed away everything that made 2012 a good year for wrestling. If TNA was ready, this would be the moment that people jumped ship. WWE is lucky that the rival company isn’t there yet. But if this was 2014 or 15, it could be a whole different story.


That's been my review, follow me on twitter @DanHarrington91 for more wrestling ramblings during the build up to Elimination Chamber.

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  1. BECCA_IS_AWESOME's Avatar
    Great review i agreed with everything that you said ( loved the jericho return) it was very predictable and repetitive. I read many reviews via twitter and other sites immediately following the show and the mood was the same about the rock winning granted i am a fan of his but punk should have retained wwe needs to make a stand and not let mid card be underutilized for non guaranteed ratings GREAT JOB ON THE REVIEW MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY
  2. SadisticSarcasm's Avatar
    on point with everything you said...i would write more but the fact that WWE has YET AGAIN messed up, just gets me irritated .
  3. Cross22's Avatar
    100% agree with the childish bantering we have to look forward to for the next 2 months between the Rock and Cena. I guess they will continue to cater to the 9 year olds watching the product. Great review and I agree with it all... So disappointed that CM Punk has been cast out to a program possibly with the Undertaker (for what reason I do not know). Best thing WWE can do is work this into a triple threat at WM.
  4. Holographic_Universe's Avatar
    Quick question

    Who makes more money for the wwe, the children or the IWC? What demographic generates the most revenue?
    If you were executive of the wwe the company would die because you fail to acknowledge what is best for business (wrestling itself does not sell, entertainment does) Cm punk does not draw, he is a decent worker but is nothing proprietary, I would have NEVER let him keep that belt this long with ratings so low
    Now in regards to your review, I can agree that rock and cena is not a match I look forward to, there was a chance for Brock vs rock, punk vs taker but that leaves a few lackluster spots therefore they went the path of least resistance therefore the whole pay per view was predictable (I can agree with the ratings of each match for different reasons)
    The main event was nothing special, the royal rumble had decent showings putting over many people over (ziggler, Dallas, ryback) but the pay per view was subpar (though better than many others ironically)
  5. The Piper's Avatar
    highlights: Big Show/Del Rio table spot, Jericho return, announce table

    ..there should be more than 3....
  6. RobVelcoff's Avatar
    The in-ring action was okay, some very nice spots, although the Rock looked a little flat. But like you said, 100% predicable. I'm a Cena fan, but the entire concept of "Let's have the Rock beat Cena at Wrestlemania 28 only to have Cena get the win (and the belt) at #29 to even the score just speaks to me of ego. "I won't job for him unless he does the same for me," and stuff like that. The return of Y2J was great, but other than that it was just a ho-hum PPV.

    I enjoyed reading your blog. Rob
  7. el gabo's Avatar
    Wow. A bit harsh? Just because you're upset about some decisions made doesn't mean the PPV was bad. A lot of people bitch and pout and don't find anything WWE does entertaining unless they agree with it. Let things play out. I wonder why people even watch.
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