Dan's Week In WWE Review
by, 12-19-2012 at 06:13 AM (6370 Views)
Week In WWE.
BE WARNED THAT THIS IS A LONG READ. You can blame “WWE Week” for that. Normally this post would be coming on the weekend.
So in three days we’ve had TLC, Raw and Smackdown. I feel sorry for the script writers for this. Was this week wrestling overkill? Or has it stayed fresh?
I’m still not a fan of the opening recap things considering they get played again later in the show anyway. But whatever gets us away from that new terrible theme song is good to me. Straight after an excellent TLC (Which I already reviewed) we’re stuck with The Slammys. Roll out the crimson carpet and awkward punchlines, and someone tell the midcard they’re not needed tonight cause they’ve been replaced by The Boogeyman.
Mysterio seems so stagnant now, this whole thing could have been replaced by a segment between Team Rhodes Scholars and Team Injury resulting in Sin Cara vs. Rhodes later and Mysterio hitting a move on Sandow or something.
The first of ten million “download our app” segments. Not sure if this is a Slammy Awards or just a three hour app demonstration. Then the Boogeyman comes out, starts walking to the ring, and then disappears during commercial? The hell was that about? He could have at least, I don’t know… done something? It’s like someone just rebooted that segment in the break and hoped no one would notice he was gone. Anyway, Kofi wins a slammy for his awesome handstand at the Rumble. Surprised most of the viewers remembered all the way back to January to vote that back into relevancy.
Why wasn’t Kaitlyn vs. Eve Torres at TLC? Clean win over the pointless champion. Kaitlyn goes for the most awkward looking pose ever and then leaves. At least that’s over.
New Age Outlaws come out looking in good shape, they’ve been wrestling on the indies lately so I’m hoping they at least have one more match just for nostalgia. Jerry Lawler wins Best Heart Attack award. Well done for not dying?
Tensai came in huge, when I saw Raw in London he won CLEAN over John Cena. Six months later and he’s in a worse state than Great Khali. Ouch. Barrett coming out after the match and hitting the ring post Bullhammer / Souvenir elbow was a nice touch.
AJ Lee wins Whore Of The Year. Then makes an early campaign for next years award but trying to crawl down Zigglers throat… I guess this is un-PG?
I’m not even gonna pretend I watched Otunga vs. Khali, I boosted my sky+ box into 30x and just sighed that Natayla still isn’t being used.
Ric Flair’s random voice over beforehand kind of ruined the surprise didn’t it? Why was it even there?
Cena wins Superstar Of The Year for losing to Punk, Rock, Lesnar, Ziggler and my grandmother but still being able to cut that promo where he starts to yell the final five words to add some emotion and then throwing up some cool gangster signs.
Flair vs. Punk. Yes I’m counting this as a match. It was epic. Good to see Flair back, even if it was just for last night it was awesome, he comes in, obviously ignoring Donald Glover in Lethal Weapon’s motto. The brawl was cool and it shows that he can show up in the WWE years after his last match and still be insanely relevant. Someone should tell this to the Rock.
The Shield entrance music hits, I assume when Flair turned up backstage he just saw too many people he’s never chopped before and almost gave Jerry Lawler a run for his Heart Attack award, instantly deciding that he’ll take everyone on. Including that guy in catering cause he looks like he has “it”. Back from commercial and mass brawls are happening, Ryback comes in and makes the save and everyone lifts Flair up to end this segment. I hope we see more of Flair vs. Punk. I also hope we eventually see Foley vs. Punk too. And McMahon vs. Punk. Maybe I have a thing for Punk beating up old men but god damn does it make good TV.
Ron Simmons. That’s all this part needs.
Everytime I see JTG on TV, I just feel the need to check the “how long has JTG been employed” website. Pointless match, no review needed. Does this count as a review?
God damn Tensai, was you supposed to fall? It didn’t seem like it. I wonder if he went back to Japan, would he get “Tensai” chants?
I got so excited seeing Ziggler run out and ready to cash in that when Cena came in and ruined it I had to pause the show, go get something eat, listen to some music, and then skip the rest of the segment so I don’t end up smashing my girlfriends TV.
3MB vs. Alberto Del Tweener, The Miz and….. Tommy Dreamer? How? How did this happen? Team should be heels vs. team should be faces with a guest cameo from someone WWE spent the last three years of his career dumping over his dreams? Then only to bring him back and make him look stronger than they ever made him look in the WWECW. I bet he’ll pay for wearing the House Of Hardcore T-Shirt though.
Newcomer of the Year (Or new gimmick of the year.) awkwardly mentions Owen Hart and a threat of another lawsuit is in the wind. Then Cesaro decided that the he shall just walk out of the way of the squash machine tonight.
Triple H makes a joke about losing his hair (somewhere Shawn Michaels is laughing at the justice.) and then says that The Undertaker is still around. Somewhere. Just not here tonight.
Tommy Dreamer gets his punishment for wearing the HOH T-shirt with a beat down from The Shield. Ricardo tries to make the save but just flies into the wall Shawn Stasiak style.
Big E Langston? I’m all for new talent. But there’s a huge question here I don’t understand. For those that don’t know, Seth Rollins was the NXT Champion, when he debuted in The Shield he actually still had that championship, and in the tapings held a few weeks ago for the next months worth of programs, they gave the championship to Mr. E. Why would you give the championship to someone you’re thinking of debuting in two weeks? Apart from that, his finisher looks kind of silly. Looks like he’s doing for a Rikishi Driver and then someone reverses it into a Reverse DDT.
Overall, it’s as good as a show can be with the Slammy’s involved. Ziggler and Cena’s feud seems to be continuing which… on one side it keeps Cena away from any title matches, which is a huge plus. But at the same time it means it does the same for Ziggler. How much longer can we sacrifice the next internet darling to keep Mr. Every Tuesday Off away from a belt?
The Miz starts off being one of the worst faces in the company, he seems to not understand how a face character works, his delivery is off and he still has that stupid smug smile on his face. The crowd always seems confused on whether to boo or cheer for him. Langston pops him in the face and that’s it.
Sandow vs. Sin Cara, again. No real build up for their tag title match on Main Event apart from things said on commentary. As much as I like what Hell No is doing with Shield. They should incorporate it into the Tag Division as well and show that they’re stretched too thin. This would still keep the team looking strong as they pass the belts off to a new team. Both Mysterio and Sin Cara get written out of TV, I thought it was funny how Cara never let go of the mask.
Tensai, dear God man, what did you do? You must have tea bagged Linda McMahon or something to get this level of treatment.
If The Slammy’s were decided by wrestling forums Daniel Bryan would have won almost everything.
The Six Man match did well in keeping the Kingston / Barrett rivalry going but didn’t do anything for Team Hell No or PTP. Kind of a shame how PTP have gone into the background a little bit lately as they have real potential.
Sheamus continues to reference Father Ted. If he does it one more time I might actually become a fan of his. Also his facial expressions were kind of awesome there.
Punk comes out and Ryback vs. Punk is announce. Just when you thought we was safe from it.
Cesaro gets beaten again by a hulked-up Ryback.
Kaitlyn and AJ Lee continue their six month long backstage-segment rivalry and then Eve takes advantage of that VICIOUS water bottle to the back of the head to retain her Tramp Stamp Championship.
Brad Maddox does his best Dolph Ziggler in 2008 impression and then gets flattened by Brodus Clay. I like Maddox’s character but… where are they going with this? If he wins his contract he’s already been beaten by half the locker room. Maybe they should have given him Big E as a body guard. The Shield turn up and impressively powerbomb Clay. They really get to show everything off lately, they’re being built up right and if they stay out the way of Cena, they won’t have a reason to lose for a while.
Main event tag match pretty much ends both rivalries as it did yesterday on Raw. Big Show and Sheamus still wanna punch each other a lot and Ziggler is building up the most ridiculous stable in WWE. Which is saying a lot considering we also have Team Hell No, 3MB and Team Cobro.
The show didn’t really offer anything shocking or a “major” match to warrant a commercial free live Smackdown.
A kind of disappointing week following up from TLC. And with Christmas next week, I doubt the shows then will offer much either. We’ll just have to wait until January to start getting our dreams smashed by The Rock and whoever wins the Royal Rumble (Probably Cena. Because “once in a lifetime” is only true if you died in the last year). I still like how The Shield are taking on everyone, the cameos from the Slammys were good but in a year with so many cameo chances, they’re kind of getting lost in the mix for the most part. I never thought a day when I see the New Age Outlaws wouldn’t get an awesome reaction from me and more of a “… I wish they’d wrestle instead.”