Booking Ryback vs Punk - Do we need a swerve?
by, 10-20-2012 at 10:22 PM (8796 Views)
Hi everyone, John here. Never did a blog before, but was bored and thought it would be fun to type out how I would book the Punk vs Ryback HITC match. Since the rumors are the WWE is struggling to decide what to do, I wanted to test my hand at it and see if their choice is as interesting as what I would like to see. Sorry for the length, but I hope you enjoy it.
First of all, Ryback vs Punk needs to main even HITC. Shemus vs (ummm who was it again, oh yeah) Big Show, shouldn’t main even the PPV because there just isn’t much interest in it, although rumors are suggesting WWE is considering doing just that. WWE booked themselves into this mess, so they should be able to book themselves out of it. Below is my proposal that I believe not only won’t damage Punk, Ryback, and the WWE in general, but will actually strengthen it and give a good story line path into WrestleMania.
First off, Ryback can’t win. Everyone who says that he has to win or else he will lose his current momentum from his push is being as short sighted as the WWE. As has been planned since last Wrestlemania, Rock is going to be involved in the WWE title picture against either Cena or Punk. In other words, not only will Ryback have to lose…he will have to lose with the Champion’s advantage. It will be more harmful for the character to have the top prize and then lose it…especially if he is losing it to Rock. Now you aren’t even giving anyone in the normal roster a bump, by defeating Ryback.
So cut to the HITC main event. The match goes about 15 minutes of Punk supplying hit and run style offense. Unfortunately for Punk, he can never get more than a 1 count on Ryback before getting violently thrown off during the pin. Ryback gets little more than a few punches and a clothesline in offensively. Whenever he gets a move off, Punk ducks out of the ring and over sells it, yet Ryback cannot capitalize.
Finally Punk realizes this is HITC, and he will have to get a little brutal. Out comes a Kendo stick from under the ring. Ryback no sells some shots to the shoulder all the while Michael Cole is talking about how they hit him squarely in the head! Punk backpedals in panick…
*Guitar Chord Hits* It’s time to play the game! HHH’s music receives a HUGE pop as he starts running down the aisle in his dress pants and dress shirt…oh and he has his sledge hammer! Camera cuts to Punk shaking his head saying no looking between HHH running his way and Ryback chanting “Feed Me Punk.”
The referee unlocks the gate while Punk gets out of the ring to avoid Ryback who is chasing him. With HHH now locked inside the cell, they do the usual Tom & Jerry chase scene with Punk sliding into the ring only to come face to face with The Game. He stops and back pedals right into Ryback who grabs him and holds and holds his arms back exposing Punk for HHH. The live crowd is going wild. The internet smarks are going wild as well because of the 2 obvious potential outcomes presented before us!
HHH winds up the hammer and Punk ducks. Ryback is flattened. HHH steps back and looks at the hammer and grabs his hair in disbelief. Punk, ever the opportunist jumps on Ryback for the pin. HHH is still staggered and does nothing to prevent Punk from getting the victory. Referee gets down and 1…2…2.5…2.95 and bam, Ryback kicks out, but stays flat on his back. Punk pops up looking shocked. Heyman is holding his heart doing his best Stanford and Son’s impression. HHH is also shocked. Punk staggers backwards and bumps into HHH. Punk jumps and he and HHH look at each other eye to eye.
Much to the crowds chagrin, they both nod and charge Ryback and begin beating them. Heyman has the mastermind evil look, literally even rubbing the back of his hands over and over like a James Bond villain. JR sells the impact of his moment like no one else can: “GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY! THIS IS AN UNHOLY ALLIANCE!”
Whatever will we do? *Beep Be Boo Booooooo Beep Be Boo Booooo* Super Cena to the rescue. HHH races Cena to the cage door and demands the key from the referee or else he is fired. All the while Punk is still beating Ryback with the Kendo stick. HHH hopes back into the ring and instructs Punk to pin Ryback, 1,2,2.5 kick out! All the appropriate reactions shots are shown on camera. The beatings of Ryback continue as Cena humorously tries to find weak spots on the cage to break in. This time HHH instructs Punk to pin Ryback but HHH keeps the sledge handle across Ryback’s neck while the referee counts, 1,2,3 *kick* but the kick is too late. Punk wins.
The crowd is deafening with boos. HHH pulls a mike out from under the ring and Cena has one as well. Cena is using his squeaky voice and said he is going to get revenge on Punk and HHH tonight, even if the doctors didn’t clear him to compete and demands that the cell is raised. HHH yells that the cell is not to be raised until he says so and that anyone who does will be fired. He reminds us that he is still the COO of the company. Cena says he’ll get his revenge on Heyman then. Heyman who had crept a little too close to Cena, oversells his fear and trips himself over the stairs while Cena begins to pounce on him. HHH calls for security and Cena is captured and removed (granted it requires like 20 people and is a big lame fiasco etc etc etc).
HHH laughs and while the camera zooms in close to him says, “So you’re all probably wondering why this happened. Well I will tell you.” He then gets a puzzled look on his face because the crowd’s boos changed to cheers. Camera zooms out to see both him and Punk turn around to see Ryback breathing as heavy as an indecent phone call, staring them down. “Raise the CELL” he yells as him and Punk are grabbed by Ryback, who marches them around the ring before slamming them. He does the feed me more chant, but is selling pain in his shoulder. He slowly walks out of the ring to his music…but with a limp. He is human after all.
This is perfect because:
A) It makes you want to tune into Raw on Monday
B) Ryback looks strong even with the loss
C) Punk regains
D) The storyline of an HHH vs Vince power struggle writes itself
Raw on Monday night can start with HHH, Punk, and Heyman giving a promo. I’ll make up just 1 way they can go with it, but really it opens the door to be more unpredictable and keep the audience guessing what will happen never. I’ll even throw some off the wall things that would never happen…but I believe them to be entertaining.
HHH says things such as, “Paul Heyman is a cockroach. But you know what they say about cockroaches…after a nuclear war, they’ll be all that will still be left alive. I couldn’t beat the Paul Heyman guy, Brock Lesnar. It made me think. It made me try to figure out what is wrong with me, wrong with what I became. When I started in this company, it was about me. I would do whatever it was I needed to do to succeed. I fought matches hurt. I lied, cheated and stole my way to my fame. Hell, I even married the boss’s daughter because I knew it would help take me to the top. Then I got to the top. I got comfortable. I started worrying about ‘business’ and making the fans happy. It ruined me. How can you keep the fans happy when they are too stupid to know what they even want? Now, it is all about me again. I am going to do what I have to do to not only get to the top…but to BE THE TOP.”
This sort of thing continues until Heyman takes the mike. “Why did I join just Unholy Alliance? I’ll tell you why. Vince McMahon. Viiiince” Heyman has a look on his face like he just stepped in fresh cat poop. “Vince McMahon has destroyed me. He has taken from me everything I ever had dear. I tried to work with him before, and all he did was rub it in my face. He took my beloved ECW. He shit on it. He SHIT on it! He took my beloved wrestlers. He turned them into ‘sports entertainers.’ I made stars and he stole them from me. He took my prized creation. Raven. Raven was so beautiful. He turned him into a JOKE.” So why did I join HHH? Join HHH who I thought I hated? Because he is the one to replace Vince, and that time is now! Together we can restore this company. Wait, no. Screw THIS company. Screw the World Wrestling ‘ENTERTAINMENT.’ No, no no no, together we can TAKE OVER this company. We can take it from Vince. We can turn it into MY company, well our company.” (looks at HHH to ensure he didn’t go too far)
Punk needing to get his 2 cents in, “Want a pipe bomb from me? Want to know why I do what I do. *punk raises title over his head* Well, my mike isn’t what is important tonight. Today I don’t need it to deliver my pipe bomb. I will deliver a promise I made a long time ago.” Punk walks out of the ring and throws the WWE title into the trash can. He grabs a bag out from underneath the ring and walks back into the ring. He unveils the new title. It is the Original ECW world title. Heyman is looking at it and begins to cry.
So, the issues with most crazy Russo swerves is that they are interesting in the short term, but don’t allow for any long term planning. The above angle that I outlined does not have this same issue. What it allows for is HHH to make Heyman the GM of Raw. That way they can throw Cena and Ryback down the gauntlet and keep them strong. It also gives HHH and Vince an actual reason on to be on Raw (which we know improves ratings…but Vince isn’t really in an real angle currently, he just acts tough and scares people for some reason). Those 2 can feud over control of the WWE. Stephanie can also get involved, and take either side frankly but I’d prefer the heel side since she is so much better at it.
Punk can ultimately lose the title to Cena (who can break out the “real” new WWE title), who loses it to Rock at Royal Rumble. Punk wins the Rumble settling up the WM match.
Wrestlemania can have these matches on the card:
Rock vs Punk for Title.
Ryback vs Lesnar
Heyman & Stephanie vs Vince & AJ (give us this instead of a stupid celebrity match)
Undertaker vs Cena in a mutual respect match.
HHH vs HBK