Yes! Yes! Yes! The Raw Review
by, 07-09-2012 at 11:12 PM (8240 Views)
I see what you did there, WWE.
This may be the shortest blog entry I ever write, and it isn’t out of laziness. No, it is out of the fact that Raw provided no more than ten minutes of worthwhile programming. I wish that was an exaggeration, but alas it is not. Kicking off with a, frankly, shocking moment of a marriage proposal (or two) was not a strong start in my eyes. It actually gave me hope that something other than Punk/AJ/Bryan would happen tonight as a way to buck the trend of the past two months. Instead, I sat through an hour which consisted of just over three minutes of in-ring action followed by a decent match that served as nothing more than a ‘Cena wins’ spoiler after a no contest ending. There was also a tag match or two which I feel Teddy Long couldn’t cram into his running of Raw and SmackDown last week (he probably got those onto the card by winning some kind of old man dance off). And then there was the extremely suspicious vote that 75% of the WWE Universe wanted to see Jerry Lawler versus Michael Cole.
There was one glimmer of hope that tonight’s Raw would end of a high – a main event tag team match between CM Punk & AJ versus Daniel Bryan & Eve. Naturally this was going to end in a segment, and then it hit me.
I’m a huge supporter of the AJ/Punk/Bryan storyline heading into Money in the Bank, and it’s easily the only reason I’ve been looking forward to Raw lately. But tonight’s twist just seemed lazy to me.
Whilst Raw (and all WWE programming for that matter) rely on shock value to increase ratings (see: the Attitude era), AJ proposing to Punk was a poor effort. It was shocking, but in a ‘what the hell are you doing to such a great storyline!?’ way. It became predictable from then on. The proposal was met with a resounding “No! No! No!” chant from Bryan, who then proposed himself, and all I could think to myself is ‘who proposes after a couple of kisses?’ I get that WWE is very much PG at the moment (despite its gradual transition into the Reality era), but even a child wouldn’t buy that proposal.
It took until the end of Raw for me to see exactly what the point of this whole proposal business was though, and I’ll admit that I should have seen it sooner – WWE needed to level the playing field going into MitB, and having Punk disappoint AJ in the worst way possible (a marriage proposal is pretty much the best they can do nowadays – after all, they can’t have her get pregnant and then get Punk to accidentally knock AJ over and lose the baby can they? This isn’t 2005) was the best way to do so. I am disappointed that they had to go for such an obvious and unbelievable method of doing so, but I’m glad the scene is set for an unpredictable finish at MitB.
Despite rumours of Punk versus Cena at SummerSlam, that is…
Spoiler alert – Cena wins
Any hopes I had for a good WWE Championshi… you know what, I’m calling it what it is, Raw Money in the Bank Ladder match were pretty much dashed tonight. Not only did Cena give us a speech on how MitB is a hellacious match (because you have so much experience in MitB, Cena?), but he felt the need to steal the limelight after declaring he WILL win on Sunday.
Quite frankly, this MitB match may as well be a one on one match between Cena and Big Show. Jericho is in the midst of a face turn, as is Kane. They haven’t had any hype to win the match, and no more competitors have surfaced. It has also been clear since the match was announced that Cena is entering to stop Show from winning, and nothing else has developed from it. This will, in my opinion, be the worst MitB match in history due to its poor build and the fact that it only has four superstars involved, two of which have shown no signs of winning it.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Cena versus Show is PLAYED OUT.
In other news…
The anonymous GM returned – For one night only, the laptop came back… and did nothing. Oh, and it was Hornswoggle sending the emails if you weren’t already disappointed.
Sheamus squashed Swagger, twice – Jack Swagger’s Titanic career sunk even further this week when a supposedly injured Sheamus beat the All-American American in less than a minute, and then decided the burial wasn’t enough and Brogue Kicked Swagger and his politician’s haircut once more. Perhaps Sheamus needs to accept he can only win in eighteen seconds at WrestleMania?
The Rock is set to be at Raw 1000 – no surprise here, but I’m hoping to see Rock follow up on his claim that he wants one more run as WWE Champion by at least mentioning it. It should be good to see a Rocky promo nonetheless.
Tensai & Dolph def. Christian & Kidd – once the heels won this contest (very quickly), Tensai followed up on his abuse of Tyson Kidd. It’s starting to feel like the easily forgettable Mysterio versus Big Show feud of several years ago.
Brodus wins and grooms – after pinning Drew McIntyre after a splash (insert ‘a wild Snorlax appears’ joke here), Brodus and his funkadactyls continued their weekly routine of grooming young children in public. Has he actually lost yet? I’ve lost track.
Santino hunts down the GM – sadly, this was the second most interesting thing to happen all night. Not for the result of Santino’s hunt, but for the short segment he had with Jericho. I’m really starting to enjoy the hints at Jericho’s sense of humour resurfacing.
Sin Cara qualifies, Slater taps – Sin Cara’s qualification for SmackDown’s MitB was secured once Heath Slater was made to enter during the break. We also got another legend appearance, this time from Bob Backlund. I have to say, he looks good for 62 years old.
Michael Cole def. Jerry Lawler – in a carbon copy of their WrestleMania XXVII match, Lawler initially won and the anonymous GM reversed the decision due to interference from Booker T. Completely pointless segment.
I don’t often come close to turning off the TV mid-Raw, but had it not been for Punk & Bryan getting a main event spot for once I would have. I’m used to Raw having some throwaway material, but tonight was a lottery in terms of relevant material.
Barring the WWE Championship rivalry, tonight could be completely removed from WWE’s history and the build to MitB would be no different. The only purpose tonight served was to put Punk and Bryan on a level footing in terms of AJ’s affections, and it worked. It was Jerry Springer TV in the process, but it worked.
I’m aware, after glancing at the word count, that this has turned into another long entry. I’m sorry for misleading you, and thank you for reading.
Until next week, follow me on Twitter for more of my views (@SpringerAJ).