The Royal Ramble: Weekly Raw Review
by, 07-05-2012 at 04:27 PM (1993 Views)
It's Ramblin' Time!
Welcome everyone, to the Royal Ramble! I am Trick the writer of the Royal Ramble! Follow me on twitter @TheRoyalRamble once I get out of Twitter jail. This is the first addition to my weekly review blog on Raw! Before I start, if whatever I say offends or pisses anyone off, well then grow a pair and move on! Happy 4th of July by the way! Let's kick things off with Monday Night Raw!
Raw kicked off with non-other than John Cena! I personally can't stand Cena and really wish that he would just turn heel! But instead, the WWE continues to shove Cena down our throats with the terrible Big Show angle. Cena starts to talk about how he will stop at nothing to win the Money in the Bank match. Of course he throws some kiddie crap in the promo when it's not needed. I honestly don't get how Cena is still so over. "YES!" Oh, how one word can make me so happy. Because that one word means Daniel Bryan is coming out to save us from a terrible promo by Cena. Might I add that the crowd was very strange and very pro Cena that night. Bryan states that he will be become the new WWE Champion! CM Punk then comes out and says that he disagrees with Bryan. Punk begins doing a "Yes" chant as the Cena, Jerry Lawler, and the crowd all agree with Punk. Bryan then cuts off Punk and tells him to get an original catchphrase. Punk goes on to say that AJ will count Bryan's shoulders down on the mat and Punk will retain. He then turns to Cena and says "it looks like it's just you and me again." I would actually be ok with that just because the matches they put were very damn good! Chris Jericho then comes out and says almost every single catchphrase that he has ever had. I kinda felt bad for Cena here because there was SO MUCH TALENT IN THE RING! I wanted you all to read that! Jericho says that he will win the Money in the Bank match. Kane's pyro then goes off and out comes the monster! Jericho looked like a frightened little girl when Kane was staring at him. Then... ugh, the Big Show came out. Cena looked ready to fight when Bryan attacked Cena from behind a brawl brakes out. Punk and Bryan take out each other, Kane takes Jericho, and Big Show takes out Kane and Cena. The announcers proceed to tell us that Show cleaned house...eh just Cena and Kane. Please WWE take Big Show out of this angle with Cena! I think the only reason they aren't is just because the crowds are actually cheering Cena lately. That's how bad we can't stand Show, he makes us cheer the overrated Hulk Hogan of this era!
The first match of the night was Christian, R-Truth, Kofi Kingston, & Santino vs The Primetime Players, David Otunga, & Cody Rhodes. The match could have been great if the Primetime Players and Rhodes didn't walk out on the match. A match that had potential ended terribly with Brodius Clay coming down and having little kids dance with him. Seriously what are these writers thinking?! Just have a damn match in full and take the f*cking U.S. title off of Santino! Oh and Kingston get more than 6 moves! Not to mention that the next camera shot is of Teddy Long dancing like a moron infront of the television. Raw is almost becoming hard to watch! I really hope they are doing this on purpose and just waiting for the 1000 episode to just go all out. But I'll probably get my hopes up as I do in this day and age of the WWE!
Del Rio beats up Sin Cara....again no match....next. This doesn't even deserve to be talked about. But I will mention that an as*hole chant got started and I haven't heard that in years!
Daniel Bryan is shown backstage and gives a rose to AJ. AJ proceeds to bite off the rose and shoves it back into Bryan. AJ really might bring the more mature side of the WWE back. And if a chick does who cares as long as it's back! This AJ/Punk/Bryan angle is awesome just on the sole fact that it reminds me of an old Attitude Era angle. It just pisses me off that it's 2nd to John Cena and the Big Slow. The WWE Championship is supposed to be the most prized thing in the WWE right? So why are the championship matches 2nd to Cena? I've been scratching my head over that for about the past couple years. So Cena is bigger than your own company's title? That's just stupid in my eyes. I get that they did it with Austin too but come on! That's Stone Cold! John Cena will never be in the same league as Austin! Sorry if I got off track there!
Paul Heyman cuts a weird satellite promo and the only important thing said in the promo is that Brock Lesnar will respond to Triple H in person at the 1000 episode of Raw.
We about half way through a terrible Monday Night Raw! So let's take a break so we can rest our eyes from sh*t! Let's take this moment to go on Twitter and follow @TheRoyalRamble! I was live tweeting during Raw until the Twitter police came and shut me down temporarily. I hope to have it back by tomorrow. Also follow @MarkinOut! They pretty much live tweet through almost every wrestling show out there! They are very entertaining and they are on a march to 5000 followers so help them get that! They also have a podcast that you can subscribe to through www.markinout.com and iTunes! I feel like DX with these cheap plugs! Also go to www.lockerdome.com and make an account, as I will soon have a personal Royal Ramble page on their soon! Now back to Raw!
We actually get a pretty decent match out of this! Dolph Ziggler & Vickie Guerrero vs Sheamus & AJ. I really don't understand why there was a need to throw the girls in the match but ok. Ziggler is this generation's HBK! He is the future and they need to let him win the Money in the Bank match and cash in on Sheamus! The match starts and throughout the match their was a lot of back and forth between Ziggler and Sheamus. Sheamus finally gets the upper-hand and almost Brouge-Kicks (I hope I spelled that right.) Ziggler. Right before Sheamus could, Ziggler tags Vickie. Ziggler thinks he on the apron but still gets kicked from Sheamus. AJ comes in and wins the match. AJ then proceeds to get on the mic and starts doing some "Yes" chants and runs into the back. Sheamus still proceeds to celebrate with AJ's music playing which was pretty funny. AJ is shown backstage trying to find Punk and when she does, Punk is on the phone. She interrupts the phone call and Punk is irritated. She asks if he watched her match and he proceeds to tell her no he was on the phone. She walks away upset and Punk gives the "I don't know what to tell you" look.
Heath Slater beats the Brooklyn Braw..excuse me, Doink the Clown. I was pissed for minute because I was expecting DDP to come out and before I knew it...."BANG! YO it's me, it's me. It's DDP!" DDP gives the Diamond Cutter to Slater and that was that! I really hope they get some better legends for the 1000 episode of Raw! Even though DDP and Vader were cool. What I meant is that I want some big time old names!
Kane vs Big Show in a no DQ match is next. The match was fast and ok. Is it bad that was hoping that Kane would injure the Big Show on accident? There were a few moments where it looked liked Show was injured. He chokeslammed Kane on a chair for the win. Can they please not call that God-awful spear the Big Show does a spear?! They need a new name for that because it just looks awful for one and Christian has the spear for two!
Eve makes her return and makes fun of a crying AJ. AJ then asks her "that you will do anything for attention, won't you?" She then tells her that she will show how to get attention. In my eyes these are the two best divas since Trish and Lita!
Tyson Kidd vs Tensai is the next match. Kidd defeats Tensai in a fast roll-up. This victory for Kidd reminded me when Shelton Benjamin defeated Triple H in a roll-up. Tensai proceeded to beat up his "worshiper" Sakamoto after the match. Tensai then attacked Kidd backstage. I really hope they keep pushing Kidd! Kidd should be the U.S. Champion!
THE MAIN EVENT!
The main event was Chris Jericho & Daniel Bryan vs CM Punk & John Cena. The match starts off with Punk and Bryan going back and forth until Cena gets tagged in. Cena starts to beat up on Bryan and Bryan quickly tags Jericho in. Now, Cena and Jericho start to go back and forth. Both men wrestle for a while until they are both gassed. They each make a tag and now Punk and Bryan are back going at it. Punk locks in the Vice but Jericho breaks it up. Cena then fights Jericho out of the ring and chases him into the back. Punk and Bryan are left in the ring going very fast paced and the crowd is eating it up. Punk gives Bryan a super-plex from the top turnbuckle and then AJ comes out to the ring skipping. She stands on the apron trying to get their attention. Then, she proceeds to pull a table out from under the ring. She sets up the table on the outside of the ring and climbs up the turnbuckles. As she stands on the turnbuckle, she stares down at the table, looking like shes going to jump! Bryan goes to the outside to try and stop her. Punk then runs on the apron and tries to stop her. As Punk does she kisses me and pushes him off the apron crashing down on Bryan and through the table.
End of Raw! This Raw was terrible and really hope they are just saving everything for the 1000 episode of Raw. Which they really should do. But these episodes leading up until then can be better! I just don't understand what is going on through the heads of the writers! If I got to write one episode of Raw, I would turn the tables and leave everyone shocked! I think this whole "well they have no competition anymore" saying is bullsh*t. No, it's just the fact that the writers and the WWE got lazy! They can give a good show if they want but something is holding them back and I can't really lay my finger on it, but I have a couple of ideas. #1 Linda's senate run. Or #2 John Cena has a lot of say. What else is holding them back from gaining ratings and being on top of the world again?! I just don't get it. In one of my up and coming blogs I will talk about what I would do if I was in charge of one episode of Raw. Trust me, you will want to read it.
Now, I'm not usually going to talk about Smack Down, but since it was on tonight, I feel like I should talk about one segment. That segment was of the course the AJ/Punk/Bryan segment. Whose side is AJ on? It looked like she picked Bryan when she started making out with him. Punk looked sad but I said to myself "Punk don't worry! You will get sloppy seconds!" And that he did! The crowd ate it up too! This angle is more for the adult viewers and I hope they continue that trend. I think in the end Punk will be the one she chooses because I just see Punk vs Cena at SummerSlam already! BTW please WWE! Don't just leave only 4 wrestlers in one Money in the Bank match! That's so stupid especially since 3 out of the 4 don't really work in ladder matches! But as it's looking, that is what it will be. Way to screw up again WWE!
Now the overall I give Raw this week out of ten is.........a 3! This episode was terrible with an ok main event. Come on WWE! You can do better!
Thank you for reading, please leave a comment below so we can get mad at each other on how you disagree with me or in some sort. Again you can also follow me on Twitter @TheRoyalRamble (once I'm out of Twitter jail!) Follow my boys @MarkinOut and subscribe to their podcast! A personal webpage on lockerdome.com coming very soon! I am Trick and this has be the Royal Ramble and thank you for reading!
Blogs Coming Soon
-Top 20 Matches in Raw's 1000 Episode History!
-If I Was to Write One Episode of Raw, Here's the Script!
-Weekly Raw Reviews
-Predictions for Money In the Bank