5 perfectly reasonable ways John Laurinaitis can mess with John Cena
by, 05-26-2012 at 07:22 PM (2812 Views)
With our favourite douchebag General Manager victorious at Over The Limit and thus firmly in control of RAW and Smackdown, the sky is seemingly the limit.
But what made "Big Johnny" so enjoyable was that his heelish behaviour was underhanded and cloaked in a veil of well meaning incompetence. He would always have plausible denial for his dastardly actions.
I think it's important to get him back to this modus operandi. That's why I've made a list of 5 perfectly reasonable request and demands Laurinaitis as GM could make of Cena.
1. Remove his microphone privileges
Start of the show: John Cena is in the ring, ready to deliver a typical Cena-promo. Let Eve interrupt and make the technicians turn down the volume of Cenas microphone. Let her informs Cena in no uncertain terms that he is paid to wrestle, not talk.
2. Push him down the hierarchy on PPVs
Let John Laurinaitis explain that John Cena will not get top billing, last match of the day, or a prominent spot on the posters.
3. Treat him like a jobber
Book him in a match agains Ryback, or Brodus Clay. (It could end in a countout when a despondent Cena just leaves...) Make him have a match on Superstars, and have the commentators make a point of it being something main eventers usually don't do.
And make him come to the ring for his matches during the commercials. The next time Cenas music plays up before a match, have David Otunga mute it, and tell Cena to get his sorry ass to the ring ASAP. He's supposed to get there during the commercials from now on, so the "real stars" get their proper entrances.
4. Dress him down, litteraly
Let Otunga confront Cena and instruct him to choose ring gear in compliance with §21a, Section II in the "Rules and Regulations of WWE employees". If he doesn't comply, Eve will outfit him with appropriate attire. (It could be pink spandex pants with glitter, or maybe Michael Coles orange monstrosity from Wrestlemania, anything to make Cena look uncomfortable and stupid.)
5. Make him fight his friends
Let him just face wrestlers he like or have a positive connection to. Sheamus, Zack Ryder, Kofi Kingston and R-Truth, maybe even Hornswoggle or Santino Marella. And the catch is that if his opponents loses, it will have negative consequenses for them.
Everything is designed to make Cena frustrated and vindictive. At the same time it's nothing he can really do, when "Big Johnny" and his croonies pull rank on him. And the whole thing will naturally end in a massive blow off when Cena finaly can get even somewhere down the line.
I think it would be a innovative way to freshen up the old "evil authority figure messing with the good guy" storyline, and help WWE put John Cena back in position as a likeable underdog.