Yes! Yes! Yes! My first ever blog
by, 04-05-2012 at 02:43 PM (6757 Views)
YES! YES! YES! Daniel Bryan has made those words absolutely iconic the last few months. Now in the light that he got F'ed in the A on Sunday those words have become an even bigger meaning then they were before. I don't know if WWE did that because they are run by giant douchebags
,or do they actually have an ace up their sleeve? More on that later.
First of all, a little bit of introduction. I have been reading blogs for like ages now, and once you get through all the muck there really are a few diamonds to be found. I hope I can be one of those diamonds. I am The Ultimate Dude, my name is completely influenced from one of the Ultimate Warrior's many insane and iconic ramblings. My profile picture, if you care to venture a look, is of the legend himself Mario Ballotelli. For those unaware of this particular legend, he is a batshit crazy in mind and in talent professional footballer. In my opinion Soccerball, well the English premier league, has basically turned into wrestling, but in a legit sport kind of way. it's all about controversy now, it sucks, but Super Mario has been the diamond of it all, if there was ever anybody over in footy for his antics, its Super Mario. His antics include : Setting his house on fire whilst lighting fireworks in his bathroom, dressing up as Santa on christmas day handing out money to the homeless from the confines of his Lambourghinni, being sent out to a shop from his mother to get a mop and bucket for the house cleaner, and returning about 12 hours later flanked by a convoy of trucks full of new toys like Skilletrix and battery acid - and no mop and bucket. I could go on all day. Any other footballer would be detested by any other fan but Super Mario has bucketloads of charisma. The Snata Claus thing is probably made up, but with this guy anything could potentially happen. Long live Ballotelli forever. He can't even put on a bib.
So, my heinous introduction is now out of the way and it is gone forever so you can breathe a sigh of relief. But Ballotelli updates will be regular topics I assure you - He is the gift that keeps on giving.
THE AMERICAN DRAGON
So! Let's get back to the important matter at hand, the wrasslin'. Do you know who has charisma? Daniel Bryan that's who. I didn't know anything about Bryan Danielson until NXT, when I was filled in via internet that he was the shit. In his debut against Jericho he was clearly very fucking talented. But as a face he didn't have much character development. People widely decided he had no charisma. Listening to marks in the know, he definitely did have charisma, which we finally saw in his altercations with one Michael Cole. Then nothing happened for a while, and people forgot about that (It was NXT so understandable) and he was again widely regarded by wwe fans as immensely talented in the ring - but with no hint of charisma. Fast forward to the Yes era, a successful heel turn and it could be plain to see to everyone that he has fuck loads of C-risma. After the job of the century at mania, one has to wonder what the plan is. Was losing to Sheamus one big april fool to all the fans who give the E shit excessively (and rightfully, in certain cases), with him destined to go back to purgatory in a roster sense. Or were WWE one step ahead of everybody and able to see the bigger picture? I would plump for the former but WWE now have a possible out in this whole scenario. Will the YES! YES! chants keep up? I hope so. If they keep on going WWE can't ignore him any longer, he could reach Stone Cold territory (Yes I'm being super serial). WWE for all reasonable purposes are now an entertainment company. Wrestling is still there, but it's less than ever before. If WWE is now entertainment, does that mean that we are beginning to see the end of business mantra such as Kayfabe. If the plan is for Bryan to become a big character for years to come, they have to acknowledge that it's him against the business, with the starting point of it all clearly that Sheamus won because of politics, and not because of his in ring persona. It would be a gutsy as hell move for sure, for stuff to become common knowledge that stuff like Rock winning was decided backstage. We all know this of course but the whole shebang that this industry revolves around is that it's supposed to be real what goes on in the ring. Are WWE abandoning this? I think I'm getting ahead of myself, and hopefully this isn't what they are doing. It is more likely that the Bryan thing has caught them with their pants down.
THE NEXT BIG THING
Raw this week was one of the best I can remember. Brock Lesnar is one of the best ever in my opinion. I loved the attitude era but I started reading dirtsheets just before he debuted, and he was pretty much supposed to be a legend in the making. He was the best thing in 2002 hands down, he received the monster of all pushes but everybody was on board with it because he was a proper monster. Other guys have had the monster push treeatment in wwe but it was believable for Lesnar to be there. Never the most charismatic on the mic, he was charisma personified in his look, and his shockingly good ring work. This guy could hang with Kurt Angle. Angle could make any guy he faced look like a star but he had to limit his ability with other guys. Lesnar was the perfect foil for Kurt Angle, and they had several classics. I am very happy he's back. I am going to go out on a limb and say he's the new centrepiece of WWE. Yes Cena can easily get retribution next week or any time in the future but Lesnar is a proper huge star. He was bigger than Cena back in the old days and was supposed to be the leader of wwe ahead of the likes of Cena. Which brings me to:
THE PEOPLES CHUMP
What is gonna happen with Cena? I don't know, but I hope he fucks off permanently, or at least Lesnar's presence dwarfs him in standing. Him kicking his stupid cap away was excellent.
THE PEOPLES CHAMP
Never in a million years did I think Rock would be given the win at Mania. He's gone now but he has another career to worry about. He has guaranteed that he will be wwe champion. I really don't mind too much, wwe seems 100% super serial on being an entertainment company, so if that's the aim put the title on the guy who people know. We don't have to like it but we can't do anything about it, so sit back, make yourself a cup of tea, roll a joint, put on some asian girls getting rammed by horses or do whatever you need to relax. We can't do anything about wwe decisions. But back to Daniel Bryan, I urge all wwe fans at all shows to make this guy as big a star as we can that they can't possibly ignore.
JERICHO v PUNK
I'm not a ring of honor alumni at all but I've hear that the current drinking storyline is basically a rehash of an angle he once did with Raven. I've gotta say, I am loving this angle. Punk and Jericho may have had somewhat of a dud at Mania (don't get me wrong, great match imo but not as good as people expected) but the chemistry is there for all to see. Punk is doing a great job as the protagonist in this feud, and Jericho is surpassing his amazing ability to be the ultimate asshole effortlessly. "I am going to make you drink Punk" is something that I am on board with, especially when bottles of JD are used to bash each other with. JD is my favourite drink by a long way, and I vomitted it all up this morning after a late night session that could only be described as random. And it was glorious!
Someone should have told Mike Tyson that wwe is now pg, his ultra sleezy crotch chopping at the HOF and Mania surely caused several Helen Lovejoy "would somebody please think of the children" overreactions.
I was happy to see Funkasaurus at Mania, but it was too soon for Mama, and way too soon for the bridge club. But it is the end of an era and he decided to stick up for little Santino. And his official debut of interaction with the higher than jobber echelon couldn't have started better, with a headbutt flooring the selling machine Dolph Ziggler.
Speaking of end of an era, I love all three guys but I hope their gone for good. HBK is officially retired, I can't see Taker go out in any better way (though I wouldn't be surprised to see him back for WM29). But "the game is forever" wasn't just a tagline of his once upon a time, and he will be back to erode whatever progress wwe makes from now on, because he's the gameeh, and he's gonna cut 20 minutes promo's foreverehhhh. The only thing that will fly with me is seeing him against Lesnar, cause man, that's what I've always wanted. That and rocketskates.
I am choosing to believe that Maria Menounos shat herself at Mania, and you should too, cause it's fucking funny. It's like Sycho Sid shitting his pants, We should laugh forever.
Randy Boreton and Kane is probably going to go on for a while yet. Boreton is great in the ring but baby oil doesn't = charisma. I fear for Kane after this. After Exreme Rules it will only be about 4 months into his new character and he will be left to emotionally torment all the other guys of the roster, who are nowhere near the level of Boreton and Cena. Boo. I will look forward to Kane getting psychological with Santino however, going to deep lengths to expose that he is really Canadian.
John Laurentis is a character that works. End of. David Otunga is a character that works. End of. This just proves that wrestling fans love Curb Your Enthusiasm. And Coffee flasks.
How am I ever going to be able to take a tag team match seriously ever again without Theodore "Playa" Long making them?
I can't wait for Christian to come back and have ONE.MORE.MATCH.
How could I forget about Sheamus. Our new medicore heavyweight champion. I am glad the fans are booing him - He should have been getting John Cena reactions 2 months after his face turn, because that's what he is, an Irish John Cena.
Ricardo Rodriguez > Alberto Del Rio
I'm digging Lord Tensai, because I dig stupid gimmicks. Funkasaurus is the best gimmick in 10 years. Tensai has potential. I think he should take his pubic hair and his wifes pubic hair and sellotape it onto his back though, because some things just shouldn't change.
Cody Rhodes is still awesome, no matter what happens.
And so is Rosa Mendes
If you finished reading this, CONGRATULATIONS we can lol in an internet way at this legendary video. Even if you've seen it before, you know you wanna?
Please feel free to start arguments, I've been reading my Eric Bischoff autobiography and apparently controversy sells. This means I will get theoretical internet money, so please shoot the proverbial shit, and tell me to eat shit cause my fucking ego wasted too many precious moments of your life. Seriously though, leave a fucking comment.