Lesnar: Taping the leaks of the dam.
by, 04-03-2012 at 12:05 PM (5288 Views)
Woo! LESNAR! YAY! Doesn't it feel great to say his name? Isn't it great to see him on TV again!? Dagger-Chest! On WWE Programming!
How well do you people know me?
Lesnar. Yeah, I like Lesnar. I'm not an MMA fan, but I really do like the man. While he's not the most technically sound wrestler, that was years ago. He could very easily be better--who knows? I'm queuing up Lesnar v. Giant Bernard in Japan right now. The only thing that could've made me more excited about Raw (if the crowd wasn't chanting his name--Yes, hot crowds are great, but fuckin' spoilers, guys) would've been the surprise return of Lesnar's last opponent in a WWE Ring.
But one thing really worries me about Lesnar being back. It was worrying when Rock v. Cena was announced, though nowhere NEAR as much as Lesnar. While Lesnar is another man who will bring in non-traditional WWE/Wrestling fans, the Rock was the Icon. They could bill it as a Icon v. Icon, and they did. Lesnar v. Cena? Should we see who can dead lift or squat the most? No? 'Ight.
Lesnar is a stop-gap. He's not a fix, he's not a permanent fixture for years to come, although I expect to see him a lot over the next few months and maybe all the way to Wrestlemania 29. At least a lot more than the Rock. The Brock (see what I did there? Witty AND insightful.) feuding with John Cena is too soon. We're still in the afterglow of Wrestlemania and the Rock's win. So why did they bring Lesnar in this fast?
Creative and/or Vince have no idea what else to do. Cena is going to feud yet again with a man who hasn't been in a WWE ring with any real regularity for years (none in the case of Lesnar, but at least he wrestled in Japan). They could've easily gone the slow, woo-is-me heel turn angle, or had Cena come out and do his best impression of HHH on the Rock's back. They could've had Lord Tensai bowl over the man, though that's not much better than Lesnar.
The point is, Vince and/or Creative is trying to plug up the bad ratings with big names--when recent ratings have suggested it doesn't work for shit. The Rock didn't do much for weekly ratings and Survivor Series, so they're hoping Lesnar might improve it. I'm going to go out on a very, very sturdy limb and say it will increase for a week or two, then retract. Why? Because this isn't new. As much as humans seem to like old and classic, we strive even more for new. Rock isn't new. Lesnar isn't new. The Punk Pipe Bomb was an old flavour with a Pepsi Twist. Nexus Invasion was the same.
The WWE isn't producing new stars. Whether it's the new talent or Vince losing his genius is up to debate. If the WWE cannot produce more top tier characters, top tier HEELS, in the next year, they are in serious, serious trouble. Name the top heel (John Cena doesn't count) in the company right now. Chris Jericho? John Laryngitis*? While we all love Jericho, I don't see him sticking around past Wrestlemania 29. And Laryngitis isn't a wrestler! Who's next? Dolph Ziggler? Cody Rhodes? Both of those men had mid-card title matches in the last three days. While Cody may be on the up-n-up, Dolph seems to be slipping slightly in limbo.
Who else--Wade Barrett? Injured, a terrible shame. The Miz? Isn't even close to what he was a year ago. Mark Henry and Kane are aging. Del Rio? Del Rio, like the Miz, seems to be a shell of his former glory. Quite honestly, I've run out of heels I can name. The two biggest names in the WWE since the turn of the year have been John Cena and CM Punk. Faces will always be top, but when they don't have that many good heels to step over to the top, the product suffers.
WWE--Stop bringing back old talent for one, maybe two feuds, get your heads out of your asses, and remember how to make heels. When your go-to ratings gimmick is to bring back a former wrestler to dominate the FACE OF THE COMPANY--who then gets CHEERED and ADORED for doing so--You've. Fucked. Up.
*Laryngitis is actually really entertaining. He's a fresh take on the old "Evil Boss" character and it works. Funkasaurus is another new, fresh character. You can feel a heartbeat, but it still isn't very strong.