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The Next Big Thing

Great Things about Wrestling Episode 2

Rating: 2 votes, 3.00 average.
Hi Everybody. I hope you all read episode 1 on this new series. Your comments and your input is crucial to me continuing this so I don't lose the will to live (or something along those lines). We all take wrestling abit too seriously sometimes. Not just the things we don't like, but the whole thing in general. It's fun playing god with our blogs, but let's be all lighthearted and learn some lessons. Episode 1 is here if you are interested. I am going to keep doing this until it get's stale, but wrestling has been around for a long long time and there's lots of material to make us shiny happy people.

The everlasting confusion of the underpants thing

Everybody, fan and bypasser finds something very, very odd about wrestling that has always had a blind eye turned to it. Why is he wearing underpants? Especially when he's wearing normal full length pants. And if he's not going to be wrestling today but he's here for an interview why is he still wearing underpants (I'm looking directly at YOU, Randy Orton). It has never been explained, and long may it continue, as it's a thing about wrestling that wouldn't really happen in most other sports. I have a few theories. 1) I assume it's "strictly" a comfort thing. 2) It has been long influenced by "Mr Universe" type deals. Underpants are worn by the truly most powerful men on the planet (Arnie). 3) It's strictly for the ambitious. The lower card guys just look ridiculous but for that guy who's going on to bigger and better things undies are the final piece of the jigsaw. Look at Triple H. Long legged ring attire, mid card status, then BAM! wearing trunks, and he becomes a behemoth in the industry. Chris Jericho, long legged ring attire, then PLOP! in 2008 he finally embraces the pants look and becomes a solid main eventer. But yeah, an unexplained answer that is best left unexplained.

Really Bad Acting/Dialogue

This is the thing that makes wrestling truly stand apart from everything else. And there is much joy to be had, as this brilliant niche in the wrestling world seems to be going from strength to strength. Who could ever forget all those Raw's in 2009 when Randy Orton was heeling it up and advancing into his mental character that we all love. Just staring into the camera for minutes on end making psycho faces in his underpants. No other TV show would ever get away with that kind of guffery. With wrestling it's completely acceptable. If you've read my blogs that involve moaning about people generally moaning you'll see that my stance on wrestling is that it's supposed to be bad. We look back at the Attitude era and we cum into our pants (philosophically) but that was some seriously bad acting, and we ate it all up. I think it's even better RIGHT NOW than ever before. Undertaker (Act Dead/Satan Worshipper/"Cool" guy who likes motorbikes), Triple H (Hunter Hearst Helmsley/The GAMEEEEEH/Blade Trinity/The Chaperone) and Shawn Michaels ("Rocker" with a mullet who fist pumps/Boy toy/Super christian) are three of the worst actors in WWE history. Which means they are three of the best. I am currently greatly enjoying the 4 years of promo's between them that consistently produce such great lines as "this business". Long may it continue. I could have written an encyclopedia on bad acting in wrestling, I've only touched on a couple of topics which is a shame. I am definitely going to do a blog as a tribute to bad acting.

Excitable Announcers

We all love announcers. I don't think anyone can downplay the effect they have on the product. If there was no commentary I doubt oily men hugging each other would have ever made it as far as it did. Commentators in real sports get excited, but commentators in our beloved fake sport go absolutely batshit insane when the very best things happen. There are many things that make ordinary folk laugh at the wrestling industry, and this is one of them. When a 10 foot (allegedly) Giant in a ridiculous costume with painted abs and some unneccesary fur does something underhanded to The Undertaker, there really is nothing that can compare to wrestling announcers making it seem like the biggest thing that ever happened in the history of the universe. I'm looking directly at Jim Ross (God I love that guy). There's also something I have a lot of love for, the announcers reaction to a debut. It's so forced that I feel like having a shit.

Stating the obvious

When we know that Sheamus is feuding with Daniel Bryan and the Oirish flower is in the ring talking about foightin, D Bryan interrupts him, who cheated in a match to defeat CM Punk on the previous Raw. Chris Jericho, who provided an assist against his enemy, comes out to chastise Punk over being a failure or something. That's now 4 guys in a ring at the one time with various present and past histories together. "HOLE ON A MINNET PLAYA", Teddy Long is here to make a "TAG TEEM MATCH". We all know what's coming, it's obviously going to be the two faces against the two heels. We could have wrapped this up a good minute and a half before the announcement concludes. Teddy gets a lot of stick from the internet, but he is just the latest in a long line of gm's/commissioners to use this technique. "Tonight ... in this very ring (points downwards to middle of the ring)..... in this very arena (you don't say).....we're going to have Daniel Bryan .... (Boo)....teaming up with....Chris Jericho .... (Boo)........ to face off against...... Sheamus (YAY!).........and......... ......... ........ CM PUNK (Big YAY!). It surprises no one, but it really is how it's always been done. At least since dubya c dubya changed Vinnie Mac's philosophy forever.

I will be back soon with some more things that could only work with wrestling.

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Updated 03-26-2012 at 02:32 PM by The Next Big Thing

Tags: wrestling, wwe
Thoughts and Opinions , User News


  1. Roc Away's Avatar
    Bravo, bravo, long may your blogs continue!
  2. Cross's Avatar
    I cracked up laughing at the Teddy Long thing. He did that like all the time last year.
    Heres how Smackdown started alot last year:
    1. Face comes out and cuts promo
    2. Heel interupts promo with thier own promo
    3. Another heel comes out and joins the promo
    4. Heels gang up on the face
    5. Another face runs out and helps the face being attacked throw the heels out of the ring
    6. Teddy Long Theme Hits, "Wait just a minute playas,Tonight were going to have.....a........
  3. Earthquake's Avatar
    cool blog, makes a nice change from the usual

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