Cena and the Great One by the Roman One
by, 02-23-2012 at 01:33 AM (4220 Views)
"Ya know what? Vince is probably gonna fine me for this one, but the only reason he came back in the first place was to promote Fast Five and launch his twitter account."
Disclaimer: I'm not a Cena supporter--Nothing against the man but there are characters I'm more interested in on WWE shows. I'm also not an "Attitude Era Fan"--I watched WCW as a kid for awhile, then I didn't pick wrestling up again until sometime around JBL v. Cena at Wrestlemania 23.4 times Pi. Here's a fun fact: I've seen one Rocky match. Ever. I've seen hundreds of Jericho matches, hundreds of Punk matches, a shit ton of Cena matches--but 1 Rocky Match.
The Opinion: Cena should beat Rock clean.
The Rock has no business winning this match. The only people who can't see why are the kids--and they're pulling for Cena anyway. Lemme just flat out outline it:
1) Did you see the Survivor Series tag match? Did you see the "Rock return to his former glory?" Really? Really? Really? You know what I saw? An older wrestler who buried two men and his own tag partner in a matter of minutes and failed to live up to the hype. Ignoring the complete and utter burial of the entire WWE lockerroom since a man who hasn't had a match in YEARS upon YEARS can just waltz in a destroy two men (who just whip his 'face of the brand' tag partner)--he was AVERAGE. There was nothing special in his time in the ring. Brodus "Funkasaurus" Clay was more entertaining in his squash matches than the Rock was in his. And it really was a Squash Match--ring rust and all, the Rock completely obliterated Miz and Truth--so bad, in fact, the Miz is still feeling the after effects. Fun fact of the day: The Rock's Summerslam Role was "Super Cena"--same shit, different brand on the package.
2) Chris Jericho can still go. This may seem rather abstract, but Chris and the Rock were around for a long time--and apparently had some great matches together. But when I watch Jericho still go at it, then go back and watch the Rock at Summerslam, I have to wonder: "What in the hell do people see in this man?" Even Jericho's promos are better! The Rock walks in, throws a few insults at his designated targets of the night, makes sweet mouth love to the audience's ass, then leaves. Jericho doesn't even say anything and drops a better promo--and when he does speak, he has the audience in the palm of his hand, like the Rock is suppose to. The Rock is still using scripts from 2000 when Jericho has continued to evolve.
3) The final and most important: A Rock win does nothing. Literally nothing. He's just going to be gone until he has another box office pile of shit he needs to hype to break even. It's another high profile win on his resume--like the time he beat the Icon of the Era before him, Hulk Hogan. Oh, I should correct myself--a Rock win does one thing: buries the entire locker room. Again. If a man who hasn't had a singles match in forever (he's ancient history in Professional Wrestling time frames) can waltz in, with one tag match as warm up, and defeat the man who has often been booked as the best in the company--you're saying this one man is better than anyone in the locker room. You're saying that the era the Rock came from, that locker room, is better then the current. That's completely ape shit stupid. A Cena win is a passing of the torch--the Icon of the "Attitude Era" to the current era. With HHH and Taker looking to completely disappear from the squared circle, this is literally the WWE's last chance to prove they can get over the past. Let HHH and Taker go out in a bang--they're living legends. But don't let an ember of the era gone by defeat the icon of this current era*. Cena losing to Rock would be the final nail in the coffin--he will never win back the haters anyway. Don't go heel turn and swap the adults for the kids. Give Cena the win, like you gave the Rock, then in 15 years, job Cena out to the new Icon.
Tl;dr -- The Rock is just SuperCena with a new coat of paint--actually, an old coat of paint. A coat of paint that's been around for close to a decade. Maybe 2. Put the Rock under and let him come back for Wrestlemania 29 to get his HoF induction and promote "Fast Six: Why are you still buying this shit? Oh, right--because you never grew up."
*Chris Jericho, while from the same era, has also been around during the "PG Era", and thus is a trans-era performer.