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2012 Royal Rumble

Rating: 10 votes, 4.20 average.
Although I can expect a lot of other people blogging about this PPV, I thought i'd try to get in early about what I feel about everything that just happened. Maybe injecting a few lulz here and there along the way too...I know I waffle on about bullshit quite a bit but it is a never boring read.

After WWE waste about $10,000 of pyro and fireworks the card begins with the World Heavyweight triple threat steel cage match.
First out is the champ, D-Bryan. I didn't get why he was out first since he is the champ but maybe WWE thought they'd do it in order of most over or something, I dunno. All I know is Sexual Chocolate and Big Show followed and the match started.

That match was decent, not a big fan of steel cage matches these days, just not my cup of tea. Nothing amazing happened in it. I think they may of messed up the ending a little too. Maybe they didn't but I think Big Show was supposed to pull Bryan back up to the top but fell to win the match. Maybe this was what was meant to happen... Dunno, at least Daniel has more time as champ. Interested to see where this will lead too. Hoping tag team matches left, right and upwards with Teddy involved!

Next was the Divas match. I honestly can't UGH big enough. Look:

I don't have a problem with the Divas division. Honest! It's just I really don't like the Toiletbreak twins, Alicia Fox or Kelly Kelly. They really do little to nothing for me. The match did last longer than it does to make a sandwich, I can vouch for that, which I am happy about because 1 minute matches do nothing and it was great to see Beth back in action. Plus notice Beth doesn't ever win by fucking roll-up pins!

Kane vs Cena.
It was okay too. I can't really complain. I like both these guys and they put on a solid match. Nothing in it that I will remember in a few months time but not the worst match. Both get a shiny gold star.

Poor Ryder though. I remember reading that he could be taking time off to film something for WWE Network but giving a Piledriver to someone who has a 'broken back'? He'd never walk again yet alone wrest--Oh wait. I'm using logic. My bad!

Also quick question. Anyone else see the paramedics and stretcher backstage when Kane was moving Ryder to the ring.
"Hmm! I wonder what is going to happen!" was what I said to my friend whilst I watched it. Amazingly, as if it was planned. They quickly came out help Ryder out, whilst Eve cried after she realised she was still apart of this storyline. Poor lass.

Yeah I don't really care for that storyline. Here is what I think about it in 9,412 wor--Wait! Funkasaurus all up in this funkhouse!

Drew jobbing to the funk man with the What The Funk move. Dunno what I should say here. Especially about Funkasaurus. I fear him way more then when he was in his monster powerhouse gimmick beforehand. I bet Brodus' hates this gimmick as she is probably getting a lot of phone calls these days.

As for Drew. Intrigued as to where this is leading, hopefully he starts winning. I can see him taking Teddy Long out but really dunno what will happen. I like his wrestling ability, not so much his promos. Hopefully he is used better. Having said that, hopefully I win the Lottery this week.

CM Punk vs Ziggles is next!

1 of the mobsters from a John Cena WrestleMania entrance vs an ex-caddie cheerleader!
Does it get any better?!
Probably not. It was a Good match, they work really well with each other, they hide their weaknesses well and have put on a good little feud to start the year off well. Love the spot where Ziggles counters the GTS into the fameasser... Leg Drop Bulldog. Only problem really was Punk nearly beating Ziggler 4 or 5 times. They should've teased Ziggler nearly winning more but I won't complain since I enjoyed this match.

I didn't enjoy it, it was boring and Punk is overrated!

Oh...Mkay. I'm sorry you hate technical wrestling. Whilst I agree that Punk is a little overrated. It is about time someone got really well over like Punk has. Plus he did make summer a lot more interesting than it would've been.
Maybe stop having stupidly high expectations and enjoy what WWE give you? There's always TNA or ROH.

You're dick!

I'm sorry Random-Guy-Who-Isn't-Me-Because-The-Text-Is-In-Italics. How about a hug? Everyone loves hugs. In fact hugs all round! Leave a comment saying you want a hug and I'll give you 1!

I should probably actually talk about the Rumble now really shouldn't I? My bad.
Well The Miz starts it all off. Good choice of words by Miz although he messes up once. But then! From a distance! It's A-Ry! Will this be his time?! Can he main event WrestleMania?! Will this be his yea--Oh Miz eliminated him already...Wow Alex, you must've really pissed someone off backstage.

Just Gunna get (GOT!) this off my chest. I've read quite a peoples opinions of what they thought of this Rumble on the forums.
A lot of people loved it. A lot of people hated it. But basically, you're both right.

The positives to this Rumble were great! Ricardo coming out and being hilarous, Santinos Kobra vs Foleys Socko and Kofi surviving by doing a handstand.
All great spots I thought. The negatives were bad. Such as having Cole in the Rumble, I understand why they would have him in but you could have someone else instead in the rumble. A bit of a lacking in the surprise entrants though. Road Dogg was great to see but Jim Duggan did nothing for me. I was more shocked an Uso was finally in the Rumble than Jim. Great to see a returning Kharma too but disappointing that Kanes consecutive Rumble appearances has ended and they didn't let Christian return.

Overall, in 1 word this years Rumble was...meh. Good returns and spots, glad they're giving younger talents positions instead of people like Nash.
Good forbid they push younger talent!
My biggest problem is probably the ending. Sheamus winning to beat Y2J.
I like Sheamus, I really do. But not enough to want him to be in the main event of Mania.
You mean to tell me Sheamus vs Daniel Bryan could be a match at WrestleMania 28 when it was cut off from the previous year? Or the other match being Sheamus vs Punk. I'd rather watch Y2J against Punk or Bryan personally.

Also! No Jimmy Wang Yang! What da Hayull!

I shouldn't really complain. I really didn't enjoy 2010 or 2011s Royal Rumble. 2010s never got started cause of Punks opening and Shawn eliminating everyone and by the time Edge returned there were only 6 left including him. 2011s got Nexus'd and Cena/Hornswoggle'd and only built up around the end. So it was quite an improvement but this years ending felt like it left a sour taste if i'm honest. Hopefully the Mania card won't continue to suck (Yeah I went there Rocky marks!) and will have good matches.

Well that's my take on this years Rumble. 6/10 rating in all honesty. Nothing bad but nothing great. Tell me what you guys thought and comment if you want that hug. Hopefully you enjoyed this blog of mine and will continue to read my blogs.

I should probably have a name for my blogs too like Rated R(ob)KO has The State of the 'E and Ricky has the Blog Splash. The Hooliganny report or something iuno...

~ Van Hooligan X ~

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Updated 01-31-2012 at 05:32 AM by VanHooliganX

Thoughts and Opinions , User News


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  1. The Piper's Avatar
    Loved the blog, but hated the Rumble. By the way, this has been the funniest blog I have seen on the site, Keep up the good work!
  2. Wade Barrett 1979's Avatar
    Good work little fella! Nice read!
  3. B-MCINTYRE's Avatar
    Funniest. Blog. Ever
    Best. Blog. EVER!
  4. notSheamus's Avatar
    Nice blog.
  5. Rehmix's Avatar
    Very funny blog Van. I want a HUG!
  6. steveorton's Avatar
    Gotta agree with the other fellas very funny but a good blog nevertheless.

    Imo I found the RR 2012 to be entertaining and do agree they should have left out Cole for god sake he has no entrance music. Also Kharma's return should have been postponed it didn't really add anything. I also want to mention that there weren't many top/mid card guys imo. Instead of Epico, Jinder they could have put Tyson Kidd, Ted DiBiase. Also Khali looked more unusual in the ring than normal But all in all it was good.

    Have to agree with you with the Triple threat Steel cage match I think Show was supposed to pull back D Bryan into the Cage but there's no doubt in my mind that Bryan was going to leave St. Louis with the WHC. I though the cage was going to collaspe on the fans when Show was sitting on top of it

    I hated Drew jobbing and the divas gave me a breather so I could watch the paint on my wall dry

    Lastly I've seen better from Punk vs Ziggler and the ending just made Ziggler look weak. Kane vs Cena was ok.

    Anyways nice blog Van I look forward to the next Holiganny Report
    Nice blog man!

    Is there anything the Van man cant do?.

    Well done again mate!
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