Cena vs Rock and my All-Time Fantasy Card
by, 09-29-2011 at 11:58 AM (3528 Views)
WWE has been billing the main event for Wrestlemania for a "dream" match of Rock vs. Cena.
Who I'll root for: Rock
Who should win: Cena - I don't think the WWE has had a harder worker than Cena in all the time they’ve been operating. Although I am not a Cena fan, he does deserve to bask in the victory over Rock at Wrestlemania. And when you compare Cena to Rock – Cena is a far more gifted athlete. He’s bigger, stronger and quite frankly Rock doesn’t match up.
Who will win: Cena – Cena isn’t going anywhere, Rock will be back in Hollywood the day after.
But so with this dream match slated, I started to think of some fantasy matches that for me, would be far more interesting than a Rock-Cena match. Matches such as..
Kevin Nash vs. Terry Gordy
A battle of bruisers. Nash is still one of my all time favorite personalities while Gordy remains one of my all time favorite brawlers.
Who I'd root for: ?
Who should win: Gordy. As much as I love Nash someone like Gordy would be too much for him to handle.
Who would win: Nash. No matter how much sway Hayes, Gordy & Roberts had in booking, it was nothing compared to how The Kliq could manipulate the book.
LOD vs. Dick The Bruiser & The Crusher
The two greatest tag teams in the history of wrestling.
Who I'd root for: LOD. I loved those guys.
Who should win: Bruiser & Crusher. These guys were from an era where wrestlers would go to bars looking to get into brawls with anyone who'd claim what they did was fake. Bruiser might be the single toughest individual mentioned anywhere on this list.
Who would win: LOD. Hawk & Animal were a gravy train of immense proportions. Why would a promoter want to derail it?
Chris Benoit vs. Bob Backlund
Backlund was as sound a technical wrestler as there has ever been. Benoit wasn't far behind. His fierce nature pitted against the calm of Backlund in the ring would have made for a good exhibition of contrasting wrestling science.
Who I'd root for: Benoit. In WCW's day Benoit was my favorite.
Who should win: Benoit. Though Backlund might have a thin edge in overall technical skill over Benoit, Benoit's raw bursts of power would over match him.
Who would win: Benoit. Skaaland would have had that cross-face scouted and the towel ready to fly.
Brock Lesnar vs. Superstar Billy Graham
Two of the WWE's biggest sensations in their own respective eras. Also two wrestlers who departed too soon relative to the success they had while with the company.
Who I'd root for: Lesnar
Who should win: Lesnar. He just has the advantage in every conceivable category: strength, speed, skill - but Superstar would definitely win the pose down.
Who would win: Graham. Managers sometimes make the difference. Grand Wizard would have had Graham plant a foreign object to use while he had the ref distracted.
Chris Jericho vs. Nick Bockwinkel
This would be a fascinating match pitting Jericho's athleticism against Bockwinkel's relentless technical expertise.
Who I'd root for: Jericho. Just because I always love to see how Heenan would react whenever one of his wrestlers lose.
Who should win: Jericho. Chris' athleticism would be too much for Nick.
Who would win: Bockwinkel. Chris would get the pinfall. But the decision would be reversed on a technicality
Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Harley Race
Say what you will about HHH, he's pretty old school in the ring. I've always appreciated that about him. But it doesn't get much more old school than Harley.
Who I'd root for: HHH.
Who should win: Race. People tend to forget how great Race was. He was a 7-time world champion, an almost unheard of feat in his day. Race was underused and unappreciated by a WWF front office so it would only be fair for Race to get the victory over the boss's son-in-law.
Who would win: Race. HHH would have the size edge, but Race would still have the power advantage.
Kurt Angle vs. Bret "Hitman" Hart
It is a very sad thing that this match never happened. It very well could have. Talk about a match of excellence, here we have arguably the two best ring workers the industry has ever seen.
Who I'd root for: ?
Who should win: Angle. As great a technician as Hart was, Angle is simply better in that area. Probably the only one that you can say that about. When you add the strength and athletic advantages Angle would have over Hart it's hard to see how Bret could come out victorious.
Who would win: Hart. Picture it: Angle has Hart in the ankle-lock, only for Bret to tuck, roll and reverse it into a sharpshooter, snatching victory from the jaws of defeat. Classic stuff.
Steve Austin vs. Stan Hanson in a No-DQ Match
Hanson in some ways was sort of Stone Cold before there was a Stone Cold, just add chewing tobacco and a cowboy hat. Austin was a bit more eloquent though. What both loved to do is brawl, and that's what we'd have here.
Who I'd root for: Hanson. Hanson's Yosemite Sam on roids and speed gimmick was just classic.
Who should win: Can't say. I see one thing here – lots of blood. I give Hanson the edge in terms of strength, and if he catches Austin with the most devastating clothesline in the history of the business, it'd be over - but Austin would have the intelligence edge.
Who would win: Despite this being a No-DQ match, I can't help but feel that in the end it would result in a No Contest.
The Undertaker vs. Bruiser Brody
Of all the matches I list here this is the only one which actually did happen. Taker's first match was against Brody as a masked opponent called Texas Red. But this was long before Undertaker was UNDERTAKER. They rank as the two most intimidating performers the business has seen and a match between the two would be more than epic.
Who I'd root for: ?
Who should win: Taker. Brody's place in wrestling history is legendary, he was a beast. He's also the only person I can think of who would probably out-intimidate Undertaker - both in the ring and in the back. Brody would put Taker through a punishing ordeal unlike any he's ever had. But the intangibles Taker brings to each and every match would help see him through and garner him the win.
Who would win: Taker. Brody would do the job, take the money, and run to go fuck up bitches in Puerto Rico for more money.
Hulk Hogan vs. Bruno Sammartino
They are the two most significant champions in the history of WWE. This is the match which should have been the main event at Wrestlemania 2. Bruno was not too old, as he was an active and regular performer for the WWF well into 87.
Who I'd root for: Bruno. As much as I appreciate Hogan and knew what he meant to the business, I always seem to find myself rooting for his opponents. Even Sgt Slaughter.
Who should win: Hogan. Despite what Bruno meant to the WWE, what Hogan did for the company cannot be compared to. While Bruno has the upper hand in terms of technical skill and back hair, Hogan's swag would trump him.
Who would win: Hulk Hogan. See what I said about LOD. You don't derail those gravy trains.
Shawn Michaels vs. Sting
Personally, I would love to see Shawn wrestle everyone on this list. As for Sting, Shawn seems to be about the only one he hasn't wrestled at some point. From 92-97 Shawn was the greatest heel I've ever seen. Sting is this era's ultimate babyface.
Who I'd root for: Shawn. Not only is Shawn one of my all-time favs, I was always a WWF guy over NWA/WCW. So I never really had much interest in Sting. Easy choice.
Who should win: Shawn. There is almost nothing in the ring Shawn can do Sting can't. The problem is Shawn just does it better. Sting would learn things about putting on a show he never imagined.
Who would win: Shawn. When you take into account the whole package of what a wrestler is supposed to be, Shawn is that. His matches are masterpieces - whether its against someone he has to carry, like Nash, Sid or Vader, or someone he can work off of like Angle, Hart or Taker, there is nobody whose body of work is what Shawn's was when you simply analyze the work itself.
Rob Van Dam vs. Randy "Macho Man" Savage
Wow. What a spectacular aerial display this would have been. The ultimate perfectionist in Savage and the ultimate roll-with-the-flow-and-watch-this performer in RVD. God damn this would have been a hell of a match.
Who I'd root for: ?
Who should win: Savage. Savage, while not as innovative as RVD, is quite simply the greatest aerial wrestler of all-time. While most other aerial wrestlers execute their high spots for show, Macho's aerial assault was predicated on devastation.
Who would win: Savage. Macho Man was larger than life, and in the end, would be too much for even RVD.
Ric Flair vs. Andre the Giant
Contrasts. When you think of the greats of all time I don't think you'd find two more polar opposites than Ric and Andre.
Who I'd root for: Ric
Who should win: Andre. If Andre were a selfish man there is nothing that would have stopped him from being world champ from the day he got into the business to the day he left. Andre was a box office sensation internationally and it's no coincidence that he was one half of the biggest main event in the history of wrestling. In fact, he has more to do with why it was the biggest main event more so than his opponent. Even against a star like Flair Andre in his prime would be too much for Ric too handle. Andre would make short work of the Nature Boy.
Who would win: Andre, by DQ. On paper this match should only last a minute or two, but Ric would find a way to draw it out. But Andre would catch Ric during an ill advised climb to the top rope and slam him. Just as he would be about to get the 1-2-3, Ole, Arn and Tully would do a run in.
On a final note I want to ad that providing commentary for this dream card would have to be Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura with Howard Finkle as ring announcer and Lord Alfred Hayes' voice saying "Promotional Considerations paid for by the following" at the end.