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Mid Carder of the Week - Steve Blackman

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Steve Blackman began wrestling professionally in 1986 at Stu Hart's Stampede Wrestling. By 1988 the WWF began to show interest when he was struck with Malaria and Dysentery. In their attempts to end Blackman's existence, Malaria and Dystenery let their guards down. Blackman hit Malaria with a kendo stick and Dysentary with a roundhouse kick. You don't mess with Steve Fucking Blackman.

After defeating these 2 pathetic diseases, Blackman trained in martial arts. It took Blackman about 7 years to get to a place physically where he was ready to destroy everyone in his path. His debut in the WWF involved him round house kicking the Hart Dynasty before being smothered by what appeared to be their sex slave.

After Blackman's impressive debut he befriended Shamrock and then feuded with him. When this was over he wanted to show off how he could survive potential career suicide by forming a tag team with Al Snow. Snow spent a lot of time worrying about a gimmick for their team "Head Cheese." The reality is that Snow was so insane that he didn't realize that Blackman bled awesomeness and charisma and that they didn't need a gimmick.

When Blackman was fed up with lowering himself to Al Snow's level he went on his own and put his bag full of badass stuff to use and dominated the Hardcore division. He held the title off and on for about a year but his big spot was at Summerslam in 2000 when he knocked Shane McMahon off of the top of the TitanTron and then did badass elbow drop from it right into Shane McMahon's heart.
Blackman moved on from wrestling shortly after this. He proved everything he had to with that match at SummerSlam. Blackman now owns a MMA school in the Harrisburg, PA area where I'm sure he kicks everybody's ass.

I am convinced that the Total Gym endorsement should belong to Steve Blackman. Chuck Norris doesn't have shit on Steve Blackman.

Thanks guys.

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  1. DonzelDomination's Avatar
    This is the best blog of all time
  2. Braxton's Avatar
    Seems as if the formatting is messed up on the page. It works great on my site. Thanks for the props though.
  3. nrb6304's Avatar
    best satire blog ever!!!! hahahaha
  4. rafalafaa's Avatar
    Steve Blackman is the reason why I like plain flavored rice cakes.

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